BATES OF ADVERTISING.
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. ' -Ik. O. (.I'rOt'iKi.-la u I'rorirtenf. R. I.,
-.fyhniio-y' 1, 1K." nn'lrtnrriteil et .Jirowa
tiirVr.rnrly, Uiot'f il)', -lWlR, thd
oViho'f 'f the fnm'uj ", -"Old (JHiires,",
' m iuHtm,c(n'rMlVj'nMi..Uod, bnt' ae popu
lnr Vuj Bny j- Iho, Knilil lanauag.'. , Iba
following.iB n CorfiiCt Turaiofa:J s
dld6rfriitfl JiiVnd, tlintco flld man, '
AVe tio'or ptiall Br him inrof- ' . ' .'
. IIo nBd to wear n long.bVjck CO&l'' ; I'.1.
All buttoned down betoti' ,
JIU hoart u ojicn.aa th dny, -. '
Ilia fpoiin nil were troe; ' ; i
hair wan aoms incJ'Lned to gray( ' ! ' . '
Ho wore it in a tie'k . . H
V Wlion e'er Jiear4 ice of pain,
Ilia brenft ith'Jily' lairned;
The larijo, roumllfomTot'on his cano
From ivory was tnrpca, . '
Kind word he ever had for oil,
Ho knew tio base deaifrn; '
ITis eye were dark and rather amidl,
. Ilia nose was aquuline,
He lived ot peace with all mankind,
In friendship he waa trnej
His coatiAd pockot-holea behind,
Hi pantaloons were bine.
TSjilmrmed the ain which earth pollutes,
MfMii Ie pnased securely o er,
tii yiX Ind never wore a nair of boots
For thirty years or more.
'Vat Rood old Grirxies is now at rest,
'or fear misfortune's frown
It He vtoro a Boublo-broaJiWd vest,
-l ir ll'SBtI'U,es"n,panddown.
l& lie ujouosTrmeni Booeni. vo uuu,
And piJfl deneH
He lni.d no mrtftbe hi his. mind,
Ho rufUcs (Jn bis Alurfc "
W '.'
Hia neiKhboTs he did not alwse, i
"Was eociablo undcay i-v . ' '
" . He wore lnrtfe bneku on his shoes,
And chiuigad Uiein every day.
iis kaowlodgehid from pnblio gae,
1 He did not bring to view,
! Nor riiake a roiae town-meeting days,
i 'Ai many people do. . -
Hia t (roods he never throw
'ortnne's chances '
Hp ; , ! his brothers do),
IiLH.'df 'tnnces. ,
Thi' Jn'. y anxious cares,
jV i'nceiuxmnnts ran,' -
An:' j rjbody said he was
fa old gentlcoian.
'l !
MINEK'S FLAT.
' by CLAIIA SrALDINO BilOWN.'
was n Vroilino; day in midsum-
rat Miner4 nut. Tho scorching
'va of an Arizona sun mercilessly
niight out tif&y nook and cornor of
he "amp, unobstructed by shadoof
, uy kind. ' Alice Marriner thought of
;',.') hills and dells, the leafy nooks and
i ; i jMing waters of her old home in New
r.uglanrl as she paused for a moment
iu the kitchen door, and looked out.
t:pon the broad and sterile plain .whero
not a single tree relieved tho monot
ony of the landscape. It was a dreary,
uninviting spot for a home, .and the
quick tears sprang to Alice's eyes as a
wave of longing for something ditlVr
ont something better than this in
life swept over her. But they were
speedily brushed away, and the girl
turned back to her work in tlio swel
tering little kitchen. " How foolish of
me Klio tlioucht. " Haven t lone
of tho very best brothers in the world?
And doesn't he toil from morning till
night to give me a home, and deny
himself many a pleasure that ho could
iilv- but forme? hat right have I
to comi'lain because we don't live in
the pLasantest. place in the world and
have all tho luxuries of a millionaire?
AliyiVMarriner. thank your lucky
stal . bat things are no worse, and
hVj5 up with your dinner. Henry
w! -irfj hero in thirty-live minutes as
bj! Kry a bear."
I- j, with deft, quick movements,
AWe set tho potatoes over tho lire,
gave tho savorv-snielling roaat in tho
oven a good basting, and was "cream
iven a good basting, and vas"cream
ng" the butter and sugar ior tho pud
Img sauce, when tap, Map, came a
inock at the front door.
"My goodness! Who s that, I won-
ing
diner sauce, when tap, ap, came a
kn
der?" exclaimed Alice, hastily substi
tuting a cleau white apron for her
floury kitchen one, and shutting the
btovo dampers thatnolhhig might burn
in her absence. She crossed tli little
sitting-room, which also served as din
ing-room and as Henry s bedroom Uf
this was the land of "cot-beds and
'blankvts and opened tho outer door.
" Te-he-hc! irurined .Miss .Laura
commonly ami appropriately called
Lolly Fayette. " Was passing by and
thought I'd call," with a glance that
was calculated to bo bewitching at her
companion, a tall, broad-shouldered
Joung fellow !n a white suit an j
'anamahat.
" I'm glad to see-you," said Alice,
politely. Walk in, please. Take this
rocker, Lolly; and Mr. Harwood, al
low me to relieve you of your hat."
"Distressingly warm, isn't it?" lan
guished Miss Lolly, plying her fan
'with as much vigor as she could mus
ter. "I never sdiould have ventured
out in such ii Hin, only Velina .Sykes
is going away on the noon stage, and
I was'poMtivcly obliged to sen her
about some thiii'M she is going to tret
for me in San Francisco. 1 met Mr.
Harw
walk i
an, I be was go ld enough ti
; with mo and carry my um-
uii
tit
7
it
:. . .-i .' 1. ' , ' .
'. . f ' 1 1 1 1 j -
r-;;K.y0t,.:iY,-'N0.:46;:
fcfolla,'. 'So I ' told Lira it was a good
tiine. to run in and see you.
A good time for them, perhaps, but
Kot for Alice, win felt that her 'face
was as rod'as a lobster with th heat
of the cooking stftvjp, who had doubts
about the smoothness of her hair, and
knew that Henry could not wait many
minutes for his dinner. Hut Alice.
vw a real lady, and entertained her
callers 3 gracefully as If their visit
was-not malapropos. It was not per
fectly r-asy to do this, for Miss Fayette
seemed bent on showing up the dis
comforts of Alice's life, and Mr. liar
wood had never been in the house bp
fore. He 1yd not been in Miner's
Flat many weeks and Alice's acquaint
ance witli him was but slight.
; " Mercy mrj how thick the flies are,"
sam liftura, daubing at ino which was
endeavoring to get ii t:istc of the " Mag
nolia Halm" upon her check. "I
shontd think they would eat you up."
'"Yhere are a great many this sum
hiojr': replied Alice, " and wo are late
about -getting our screen doors on.
iirother is so tired when ho gets home
at night. Next week he'll be on the
night shift and will have some leisure
through tho day."
' Oh, does he put them on? "We al
ways hire such jobs done, and then the
season isn't half over before you're fixed
up." Alice flushed, but checked the
answer that roso to her lips, reflecting
that Laura did not realize how imper
tinent her language was it was her
way. But she wished Laura would
not say such things lefore Mr. Har
wood. Ho had given Laura a strange
look when she made her last speech
and now sat gazing respectfully but
critically at Alice.
"How did you enjoy tho festival,
Miss Marriner?" he inquire.-
" Very well, indeed. Every one was
so social, and I so seldom go out in the
evening,
" I don't seo what you shut j'ourseli
up so for," interrupted Laura. "You're
cooking and scrubbing all day, and I
should think you'd want some recrea
tion when night comes. You take in
sewing, too, don't you?" with an in
flection that phu'nly evinced her esti
mate of such menial employment.
" Yes, sometimes," replied Alice,
quietly, "as I have a good sewing
machine, and am anxious to help all 1
can."
" Well, if 'twas mo I shouldn't dis
tress myself as long as my brother
could support me. It's too hot weather
to work. I should think you'd roast
in a little bit of a hou?o like thw,"
glancing through theuhalf-open door at
the kitchen lire.
"Is not it as hot for my brother as
for me?" asked Alice, striving to re
main composed. "And he is not
strong. Indeed, that is why we came
to this Southern country the doctor
said he must get away from the cold
winters. Henry is just as good to me
as he can be, and he is all that I have.
I could not rest easy one minute if I
did not make his burden as light as
possible."
Alice's Jiead erect now, and her
eyes shone with a steady, loving
light.
Wallace Harwood looked at her ad
miringly. Laura Fayette saw it it
was the very tiling she wan working
against. She had brought Wallace in
here on purpose, knowing that ha had
been verj favorably impressed with
the gentle, modest girl whom he lnid
met in company a few times, and de
termined to counteract this impression
if r;h could do so, by showing up, "the
poverty of the Marruiers, and Alice's
"drudgery" ut homo. . , f
Mr. Wallace Harwood W:l !'.'' jrVr.ny.
man of means, and gooilVCt.h-bul
though that was rtf '.VvhfUry
prirtance
uiion him
md Miss TiflyVa'jaij desi
ns
" 1 declare, It's yo'iV;:'v5ner time,
ain't it?" as innocently- if she had
not been fully aware of it before she
knocked :tt the door. "Don't let us
hinder you. For my part, 1 don't see
how you can cat dinner at this time of
dav. Wo don't have ours until 5
o'clock."
'"I confess that I prefer dinner nt
night myself," replied Alice. " But,
when A man does hard work he needs
his most substantial meal in the middle
of the day."
" That is so," said Mr. Harwood,
" and 1 am not yet weaned from Yan
kee customs."-
Then 'oi JfromXcw England?"
ejaculated rtcl', breathlessly. "From
hat part, pray i
From W--, Massaenusetts.
Ah 1 And I am f mm Xew Hamp
shire. But Massachusetts is almost
equally familiar to me. I have cousins
Uving near W ."
"May I ask their names?"
Laura was not at all pleased witli
Mr. Harwood's tone of interest, or
with tho turn in tho conversation.
.She had been born and bred on the
l'acilie coast, and entertained a
supremo contempt for everything out
side of San Francisco. Alice's answer
was, checked by the arrival of her
brother, who passed the muslin-draped
window and proceeded to wash his
face and hands at the bench by the
kitchen door. Mr. Harwood arose and
said: "Do please excuse us for bother
ing you at this hour. I .will inquire
about tho cousins some other time.
'om', ?.lis-; Fayette, let us give Miss
.Marriner a c:.:u.- to give her 1 r-1 2 i r
his dinner.'
TIONSTA, PA., WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 14, 1883.
".Not until I have introduced him
to you," entreated Alice, who was in
no wise ashamed of her miner brother,
despite his blue flannel shirt and ugly
overalls. " And won't you both stay
to dinner?"
Laura declared that it would be,
utterly impossible for her to cat -dr
morsel 'so soon after breakfast ind-
Mr: Harwood politely declined.
'VUome in. Henry." called Alice, "i
want fo see you."
"Henry" appeared in the doorway
a sunburned, honest-faced , young
man of about twfnty-five, whoso eyes
lighted affectionately as they rested
upon his sister. Miss Fayette bowed
dietaHtly, and- Alice introduced the
yOiing men to each other. They shook
hands cordially, and presently Henry
supplemented his sister's invitation
for the callers to remain to dinner,
while Alice, warned by the advancing
hand of the clock, began to spread the
table. Tho visitors still declined,
however, and liowed themselves out,
Laura urging Alice, with . hypocritical
anhjr, to come and seo her often.
AliiTn flew around like a bird, and soon
had the satisfaction of seeing her
brother sitting at the table, and doing
ample justice to her cooking.
"Come, sis, sit down," said Henry;
"there's enough on the table for three
or four men now. Sit down and tell
mo all about your fine company. But,
did you have that smooch" on your
face when they were here?" pausing
with a piece of meat half waj; to his
mouth.
'What smooch?" Alice "hastily
arose and crossed to the little looking
glass. "Oh, horrible !" as she beheld
a sooty mark upon one temple. "How
ever did that get there? Oh 1 1 know;
it was when 1 stooped down to baste
tho meat. I remember tJiat I hit my
forehead against tho corner of tho
stove. Oh, I never, never will go to
tho door again until I have looked into
the glass." Her overcharged feelings
could no longer bo controlled. She
burst into tears. She liked Mr. Har
wood so much, and what must he think
of her? It was -bad enough for Lolly
Fayette to show him how different hei
life was from that to which he was ac
customed; but this was far worse, for
this savored of untidiness, and Alice
Knew tnat every well-regulated man
had a healthy horror of the least indi
cation of a sloven in a woman.
" Tut, tut, sis," said Harry, sooth
ingly. - "Don't cry. That's only a
trille."
" But it looks so sc frowsly," be
coming incoherent, "like a a ."
Sobs finished the sentence.
" Seo here, AHie," cried Henry,
jumping up and putting his arms
around the quivering figure, "I can't
have you feeling like this. You're all
tired out and used up with the heat.
You shan't work so any more. I'll
get some one to help you before I'm a
day older." ' .
If Henry Marriner had been a strat
egist, instead of a great, warm-hearted
fellow who loved his little eister dear
ly, he could not have hit upon a surer
method of drying Alice's tears.
" Go back to your dinner, you fool
ish boy," she commanded ; "and don't
you dare to talk to me Hout 'help.'
A pretty young woman I am if I can t
do all there is to be done just for you
and me. You are not 'afraid to "soil
your hands with work why should I
bo above a paltry smooch on my face?
Come, dear, try some of my pudding."
.Laura Fayetto was not quite sure
that her scheme had worked in the
desired mariner as she pursued her way
homeward. . Wallace accompanied her
tis far as the gate, but quietly declined
hertirgefit invitation to lunch, and,
lilting his hat, passed on. If she had
chanced to be in the neighborhood of
tho Marriners just before dusk on the
following day she would have; "seen
something which would have' con
vinced her that her labors had been in
vain Wallace Harwood taking a re
luctant leave of Alice Marriner, just
outside the open door titter a pleasant
call, when no. discordant element had
marred an earnest, unconventional con
versation. Wallace bad lost no time in inquiring
about the "cousins near W ;" and
judging by tho frequency of his calls
thereafter, and the length of his inter
views with Miss Alice, there must
have been a great deal to say about the
distant relatives. It was not long be
fore the residents of Miner's Flat be
came accustomed to seeing these two
riding together at the sunset hour, or
walking arm-in-arm up and down the
moonlit street, enjoying the cool breeze
that seldom failed to blow over tho
camp at night, after a long and
sultry day. It was patent to
every one that the elegant young
visitor had fallen "dead in love" with
pretty, unpretending Alice Marriner.
Some croaked that his attentions could
mean no. good a rich young fVllow
like him would never marry a miner's
sister. But their doubts were set at
rest one lino morning in autumn when
a certain marriage notice met their
eyes in the Daily iSilnr Ntar, coupled
with the announcement that the happy
pair would leave Miner's Flat on the
12 o'clock stage for an extended tour
through the Eastern States prior to
settling in their new homcin Southern
California.
" It's :i good of you, Wallace, dear,"
: :iid the bride, " toil.-.'ide that you Hill
livo in Santa Barbara so that Henry
and I need not be separated, for he
would hardly dare venture into a cold
climate yet. And it will be so nice for
him to take charge of that ranch you
have, bought. He will soon be as. strong
ns;.:ver, -1 inw. I can't think ho'Ha,n(,',13 01 ni11 m length. 1 his ex
voo'erVr caiuV fancv such a nlain
Ifttfe mertaf. tWam, Wallace." The
biowh 'eywlclyed lin to his with a
i'Vfwrtl of r4vot Vonlidence in them.
.' iiiHiB wmi. juiuuiiy cull vtiucil uiu
it, laughed Wallace, "I liked your ap
pearance before, but that finished mo."
Detroit Five Press.
.Prowess, fCnptain Mjles Standisli.
Dr. Edward, Eggleston describes the
famous Puritan soldier in an article
in.,.tlje Century "The Planting of
New England "as follows : The iron
hand 'd. the colony in dealing with the
Indiana and with evildoers along the
coast '".was. their intrepid captain-general,
Myles Standisli, a small man, who
was sneeringly dubbed by one who
had felt the weight of his authority,
" Captain Shrimp." He waa agile, in
domitable and hot-tempered. A York
shireman of a gentle family, he had
been a soldier in the low countries,
where he fell in with Robinson's con
gregation. Liking them, he settled in
Leyden without joining the church.
He came to New England in the May
flower, and led in all the military ope
rations of the colony, going foremost
in every dangerous undertaking. He
was quick of decision and prompt to
act. . He terrified Courbitaut's hostile
faction in Massasoit's tribe by surround
ing a village in the night and taking all
the inhabitants prisoners. A merchant
named Weston having planted a col
ony of reckless English on the side of
Weymouth, who had rendered them
selves hateful to tho Massachusetts
tribe, some of the latter conspired to
destroy' Plymouth colony and "Weston's
settlurnent with the same blow. Mas-
sasoit gave information of the plot to
the English, and even directed who
must be executed by a sudden surprise,
in order to cut oil the heads of the con
spiracy, and so prevent the attack.
The danger was imminent, and Stand
ish set out for Weston's colony under
color of trading, though eomo of the
Indians reported that the little cap
tain was evidently angry inside. In
the insulting carriage of the Indians
Standisli easily saw their intention to
surprise and mt him off. Pecksuot, a
stalwart chief, had sharpened his
knifo on the back as well as on the
edge. " This knife," said he, " has a
woman's face on the handle. I have
another at home; it has a man's face
on it, for it has killed an enemy.
After a while tho two shall
get married." Standish and his men
fell suddenly on some of tho defiant
ringleaders, whose names Massasoit
had given, and killed them with the
knives which the Indians wore about
their own necks. The little captain,
w ith his own hand, stabbed to death,
after a desperate struggle, the power
ful and insolent Pecksuot. The
measure was a harsh one, but the
peril was very great, and Standish had
few men. The mode of execution was
that by which the Indians were ac
customed to deal with such offenders ;
it was what Pecksuot intended, no
doubt, for Standish und his com
panions. It is to be remembered, too,
that the slightest reverse would have
brought tho whole power of the ravage
tribes upon the English. Hobinson, in
Leyden, was deeply grieved at this
slaughter, and wrote : " Oh, that you
had converted some before you had
killed any." Standish carried the
head of one of tho Indians back to
Plymouth, and stuck it up as a bar
barous trophy. In extenuation, it is
necessary to remember that, more than
a hundred years later than this, Teitiple
Bar, in London, was decoratefl with
1 human heads.
A tVoetor's Curious Conclusions.
Amongthe papers left behind him by
a German phvsicinn who died a short
time ago is one containing notes .of
certain conclusions he arrived at dur
ing a professional experience of more
than fortyyears. In one of these notes
he expresses an opinion that at least
one-third of the illnesses of the patients
who sought his advica were purely
imaginary. He found it not only
against his own interest, but against
that of tho self-alleged sufferers, to de
stroy the illusion by informing them
that there was really no cause for
anxiety. Ill health was to them a
matter of vital importance. To destroy
tho pleasing belief that they possessed
this blessing was an absolute cruelty.
In tho few instances in which he broke
to them the terrible truth that,, they
were quite well he found that the re
sult was genuine illness. For tho pa
tients, all interest in life departed with
their favorite occupation of nursing
themselves, and their health became
seriously affected by nervous depres
sion. He also found that, as a rule,
weakly persons live longer than strong
ones. Without going so f.ir as to say
that the best lives are those rejected
by insurance offices, he thought never
theless that persons with a "screw
loose" more often attain longevity
than those in whom no trace of disease
call be det'.M-ted,
Some one has f.;riue.l 1,'J.M Fnglisl:
words of not less than lour letter.; limn
tho letters in the word " regulations,"
$1.50 PER AKHDM.
FACTS AXD COlttMEHTS.
In tho course of a few years the
Northern Pacific railroad will run
through an avenue of shade trees
tensive irco pluming is oeing uone 10
protect the road from storms and snow
drifts. In addition to having a largo
gang of men at this work between
Fargo and Bismark, in Dakota, the
officers have distributed immense
quantities of seedlings and cuttings to
the farmers settled on the land grant,
and offered prizes for skill in forestry.
A Montreal rriiin sent several bar
rels of Canadian apples to Queen Vic
toria, Gladstone, Lord Dufferin and
General Wolseley. He received letters
of acceptation from all except the
queen, whose secretary wrde: "Her
majesty commands me to say that she
fully appreciates your kindness in send
ing the apples, but it is a rule that
favors of this nature shall not be ac
cepted. However, on account of their
perishable nature, the apples cannot be
returned." What became of them was
not explained.
It was i sorted in the recent Mis
sissippi c e growers' .mnual conven
tion at St." Louis the other day that
tho sorghum industry would keep
$00,000,000 to $80,000,000 in the coun
try if its culture proved to be success
ful. Director Sturtevant, of the Xew
York agricultural experiment station,
says that " the case with which
sorghum cane can be crown, the large
crops which can re:uiily be raised, the
abundance of sugar and the value of
the refuse for feeding, all indicate tho
importance it may assume, and that,
perhaps, right soon, in our husbandry."
Those who have been close observ
ers of emigration to the United States
for many years think it has reached its
maximum. It is believed there may
be an influx of Russians in the present
year, and they are said to be tho most
enterprising people who come, going
immediately to tho .West and estab
lishing new homes. Their powers of
endurance are wonderful. The tide of
emigration which has set in from the
mountain districts of Hungary is occu
pying the attention of the Hungarian
government. Tho emigration from
Germany showed a material falling off
in as compared with the arrivals
In 1881.
It is not in America alone that the
locking of the, stable door is post
poned until the horse is stolen. They
have been doing tho same thing in
London. Ten years ago the chief en
gineer of the fire brigade in that city
estimated the necessities of his depart
ment at 000 firemen, sixty-six steam
engines atid 204 hand engines. But
although the city has increased twenty
per cent, sinco that time, tho equip
ment has never been brought up to
the demand then made. At tho time
of the recent liro the force numbered
only 500, with fifty steam engines and
120 hand engines.- the loss by that
tire would have paid for the necessary
increase many times over; and now
that the jss has been incurred tfiere
is serious talk of putting the brigade
in such a condition of efficiency as to
men and machines that a repetition
will be impossible. ,
l no uisunguisnea American ueao ox
tiie year icpj are uenry . jjongLci
low, Ralph Waldo Emerson, G-o. P.
Marsh, minister to Italy and a (scien
tific and philological author, Thwlow
Weed, General Governeur K. Warren,
General Casey, Admiral Rogers, Gen
eral Fitzpatriee, General Hurlburt,
Clarkson X. Potter, of Xew York, and
Godlovo S. Orth,. of Indiana, Senator
Hill, of Georgia, Josiah (Jitney, of
Boston, Richard Henry Dana, Dr. John
W. Draper, historian and scientist, and
his cousin Henry W. Draper, also a
scientific man, the Rev. Dr. Bellows
and Henry James, Sr., President Lin
coln's widow, Daniel Webster's widow,
Adelaide Phillips, the singer. In
Europe among tho distinguished dead
of the year are Charles Darwin, Dr.
Pusey, the Archbishop of Canterbury,
and Louis Blanc, the historian und a
leading French Republican, and Leon
Gair.betta.
Luke Sharp says in the Detroit Free
Press that the London ruffian is the
most ruilian rullian in the world He
has a great deal of sympathy from
philanthropic societies and philan
thropic people. Lately, however, the
judges have caused, as Colonel Sellers
remarked, "the hand of al'liction to
come down heavy" on tho rullian.
Judge Stephen sent two young men,
Regan and Trowbridge, to penal servi
tude for fifteen years for robbing a
lady. Trowbridge knocked her down
to prevent pursuit. This was an ex
emplification of " The Vagabond " by
Trowbridge. The judge said: "You
are not only a vagabond and a thief,
but a cruel brute, and since you in
flicted grievous bodily pain on this
lady I v. ill give you a taste of what
bodily pain means." So ho ordered
him to receive thirty lashes frin tho
ciit. In thi' second case where a man
was knocked down three times and
rohbid, the !:a:ue jiHhi' senh need tic
criminal to tv, euty years and thirty
lu.dies.
$1 CO
IOIJ
f (K)
10 O)
Men
Hulf Column, one yer,
Out Column, one fe&r.,
Iieesl notiivi at Mtnbliihed retm.
Mnrrinse end dosth netieee rrntn.
All bills for yearly RdTertiKCmMiteoollortt
qnnrtrly. TeniDorary nilvertisomente must
be pniit in advance.
Job work, cnah on delirery.
Ktnr Winter.
Now in the crystal palace,
F.ir in the frozen North,
King Winter blows hia buglo,
And sends hit couriers forth.
Th"y rush, a mighly army, .
In fleecy garments dressed
And every hill and valley
They claim from East to West.
They hang their icy pennons
On shrub and bash and tree;
They spread a snowy carpet
Far as they can see.
And under this soft carpet
The flowers will sleep till spring;
Bo lot us warmly welcome
The snow-flakes and their king.
Youth's Companion.
HUMOR OF THE DAT.
Invariably shown up Banners.
Always open to conviction The
penitentiary.
The cheapest way to purchase coal
Buy the yard.
Whenever a dentist ake3 the stump
he draws well.
Men should keep their tempers like
their shirt3 Unruffled.
Even a wagon wheel can't go on
forever without getting tired.
There is this difference between
money and tannin: Money is stringent
and tannin is astringent.
" As we charged," says a Avar cor
respondent, "the bugle blew." It must
have been a trumped-up charge.
It is now in order for trrc youth who
smoke cigarettes to form a league re-
fusing to kiss the girls who chew gum.'
Tho old saw "fine words butter no
parsnips" is now rendered "elegant
diction oleomargarines no pastiuaca
edulis."
A millinery house in Toronto has
failed for $150,000. How the concern
came to have two spring bonnets left
on its hands is not known.
"The best conductor of electricity
at present known is silver." The best
conductor into " society" at present
known is gold. It used to be brains.
Hens .scratch np flower beds only
when they are barefooted. Our agri
cultural editor says that is why wo
men run out and " shoe " the hens to
keep them from doing damage.
When a cowboy goes into a Western
newspaper office to demand satisfao
jtitjfl the editor always explains that
the assistant who wrote that article
"lias just gone out to kill a man, but
will be back in a few minutes." Tho
cOwboy never waits.
hinry had a little lamb
With mint sauco on it, oh;
And everywhere that Mary went
Tho lamb waa sure to go.
If went with her to school one day
'Within a sandwich white,
M'hich mado tho children laugh and say,
"Oh, five us nil n bitu."
" A good-looking young lady has been
confined in a Xew York State asylum
for a long timo because- she labored
under the delusion that seve-al men
desired to marry her. If all the good
looking ybung ladies who were alllicted
with that particular delusion were in
carcerated a very large increase of asy
lum accommodations would bo re
quired. TrlfK (allowing explains the differ
ence between "luck"' and "chance."
You take a girl out to the theatre and
tjiscovor: that you haven't a cent in
your pocket. You are, of course, com-
t pellcd to invite her to an oyster saloon
after the performance. She ret uses ior
some reason; that's "luck," but tho
"chance" is a million to ono that she
will accept.
Wcmcu Iii the EmrliMli Mills.
Married women seldom think of for
saking the mill while their family is
increasing, unless, indeed, the number
of little children who must not be left
altogether without some one to take
caru id' them should be so large as to
make it as cheap to stay at home as to
pay a substitute, and their only hope
of release is from some of t!'e elder
children being able to supply the
mother's place. I could name moro
than one case where tho aggregate
yearly earnings of the family are nearer
ii:W0 than I'liOO. Still, tho mother
trudges off to tho mill daily along with
her husband and her grown-up sons
and daughters. The other day, in my
pastoral rounds, I called on a woman
who had lost her daughter from dys
pepsia a very common ailment among
the families of the mill hands and in
the course of conversation it came out
that her ngo was forty-eight, of which
forty had been spent in the mill, and
that tho death of the girl had disap
pointed a long-cherished hope of re
lease from her life-long drudgery,
which was now indefinitely postponed
until at least a little girl of ten had
grown old enough to take her place.
Uoml Wonts. .
Tho largest well in the world is n-jw
being dug in Wilmington, Cal. It is
twenty-live feet in diameter, and is so
built that tho br.ttom is much wider
than tho top. There is room in it for
some thirty men to work. Tho water
supply is so abundant that the whole
town of Wilmington is supplied, and
there is enough to span to supply tie
f.hips in 'a p-'it nt :ir by. California i:j
the land ol big things.
One Bqaaro, one inch, m insertion. '.,
(n Sqnaro, one iacb, one month ....
(hie Kqunre, one inch, thro month! . .
One Hqrnire, one inch, one yer
Two Bqnnr, one yenr ,
(Junrtor Column, one year ,