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Vol. XV. No. 4.
TIONESTA, PA. WEDNESDAY, APRIL 19, 1882. $1.50 Per Annum.
Iii Fat are.
I seems to mo the bnd of expectation
lias not yot swollen to tho nerfoot flowor
Tliat with Ha wondrous exhalation
The world of faith will dowor.
The lamps we light are but tho stars or promio
The faintest reflex of a distant sun
That wakes an e.igor snlutation from us
Till noblor heights aro won.
The past wag but tho preface of tho story
In which the romance of our lives is wrought;
Tho deeds that win importable glory
Live soaroely in our thought.
Whato'cr we do falls short of our intending;
Tho structure lacks the boanty we dosign;
And tortured angels, to their home ascending.
- l'"" " IC'MVO III! niU,
By all the doubts and trials that so rex us,
By all the falls and failures that annoy.
uy all the strnngo delusions that perplex us,
And yield no fruits of Joy.
We know that unto mortals is not given
The strength of knowledge that is yot in store
For us, ere yet we walk the streots of heaven,
And dream of heaven no moro.
The hear of earth has secrets yet witholden,
That wait tho dawning of some future day,
When angel hands from sepulchre so goldon
Shall roll the stone away.
Man lias n t touched tho zenith of creation;
The godlike thought that nllod Jehovah's mind
llaa had in Dim but feeble revelation,
Uncertain, undefined.
The days wheroin tinio reaches its fruition,
With momenta weighted with no vain rogrot,
Those days of which the soul has sweet pro
vision. Draw nigh, but aro not yet.
Josephine Pollard.
THE QUAKER ARTIST,
- ."I tell thee now, Riohard, that thee'll
.ever get a cent of njy money if thee
keeps on with this devil's work."
. The speaker was Friend Joseph Ear
rifl, and he held at arm's length a small
picture in water colors, the features of
which were hardly discernible In the
gloom of the winter morning. Friend
Joseph had been at the barn, as was his
CHstom, to fodder the cattle and feet!
the horses before breakfast, and had
discovered this humble bit of art in a
pook in the granary. lie did not have
to be told that it was his son Richard's
work, whose inclination to such ungodly
pursuits had been the distress of his
parents' lives.
Fall of suppressed wrath JnsAnh
burst into the kitchen where the family
were waiting breakfast, and without
ptftfaoe ad Iressf d his son with the threat
wfiioh he considered tho most dreadful
he could use that of disinheritance. It
meant something, too, for in spite of his
plain surroundings Joseph Harris owned
nearly two hundred anres of land worth
easily a hundred and fifty dollars an
acre, a' .1 his visits to the county town on
the first r " ' ; ril cf each year were not
to pay i.i.rrit but to receive it. A
tall, straight figure, he was nearing
8)ty years of age, but as vigorous as a
youth, with quick motions and sharp
Uack eyes, indicating a violent nature
chained for life by the strict discipline
of the Society of Friends.
His son Richard, now turned of twenty-two,
was of a different mold, short
and stoutly bni-1. . His face at first
Bight soemed heavy and vacant, but
this was in faot the abstraction of the
dreamer. Uis soft blown eyes, and
hair clustering in thiok curls over his
low but broad forehead, made amends
for his somewhat commonplace feat-
ares.
The moment his father entered the
kitchen Richard felt that his secret
labor had been discovered, but his
anxiety was more for it than for him
self. He rarely dared faoe his father's
anger, for Joseph llarris, like many of
his sect, made up in 6everity at home
for-the smooth and passionless exterior
he maintained abroad.
" Will thee give it to me, father ?"
eaid Richard, advancing toward the
outstretched hand which held the
sketch, while the hand's owner contem
plated it with unspeakable diegust.
Toor little painting I It was a frag
ment of an autumn afternoon, during
which Richard had been husking corn
in "the hill field" and which had
abided in his memory clothed with the
halo of a hundred day-dreams. There
was a corner of a woods, the foliage half
green, half shading into tints of
brown and red. A rivulet leaving a piece
of meadow Btill gay with autumn flow
srs aDd green witu lite grass, flowed
rippling and sparkling out of the sun
light into the shade of the dying leaves.
What courage and hope it must have!
Riohard followed in thought its waters
as they fipwed on to Chester creek and
then to the stately Delaware river, and
far out till they met the mighty ocean
which washes the shores of all the
world;
And asjhe mechanically plunged his
husking knife iUo tho shucks and
turned out the golden eats one after
the other, ho humbly took this lesson
to himself, as was his went, and said:
"I, too, must have more courage,
firmer hope. Why should not I go for
ward in my study of art with greater
faith? I mutt, 1 will " And to fasten
the vow ho had painted two studies of
th' little piece of meadow a3 acorn-tint
reminder, snatching the tiaie on First
days and Filth davs, when his father
nnd mother were at meeting, and he
and Mcso Riddle, tho colored mau,
vere left to look after the stc ck. One
oopy he hud sent on a venture tn a com
mission house in New Yoik, the other
e had hidden in the barn.
It had acquired a kind of sanctity to
him, and each tre had becomo a sym
bol of some rebuff or danger he was
fated to encounter in his future life.
He had, moreover, described it to Sib
billa Vernon, and had promised this
sole confidante of his aspirations that
he would bring it over some time and
let her see it. But Stbbilla lived two
miles away, and as her parents were
also strict members of meeting, who
regarded every work of art as profanity,
this would have to be managed with due
caution.
Richard's first impulse, therefore,
was to securo the picture. But his
father had a double cause of displeas
ure, and his au?er was deep. He had
agreed to give Richard a fourth share
in the profits of thi farm this year, and
not oniy was this painting business an
ungodly amusement, but also a waste of
precious time and a loss of money. It
must be stopped.
" I'll put it where it deserves to go,
and where theo will follow unless thee
turns thy stps from the world and its
follies. But the fire that thou wilt
meet will be that which is not quenched,
and where the worm dieth not."
With these words, which Friend
Harris spoke slowly and with that
slight chanting intonation which char
acterizes the u'fernnces cf the speakers
in meeting, tho solemnity of which was
further increased by the use of the
formal "thou" instead of the usual
Jthee," he stepped to the kitchen"
fireplace, where a goodly wood fire was
burning under the crane, and striking
the picture against the corner of the
mantelpiece tore a rugged split through
its center and threw the whole into the
flames. In a moment it was a shriveled
cinder.
There are certain natures whose in
herent strength cm only be developed
by a violent Ehock. Full of latent power,
their weakness comes from a native
humility. They distrust themselves
through a genuine admiration of others.
Such was Ricbard Harris. But the
necessary shock had gome. He gozad a
moment at the cinder, his face crim
soned, but the sovere discipline of the
Society and the family exercised the
sway that it usually does even on tho
very young among Friends.
" Father," he said, in a low and even
tone, I repeat what I have often told
thee; I have no light that there is evil
in painting; but as thee thinks there is,
I shall bid thee and mother farewell
to-day, and seek employment else
where. I shall not ask thee for any
share in thy estate."
Taking his hat from the window-sill
he passed out of the kitchen door, leav
ing his father speechless with amaze
ment at this rebellious utterance, and
nis motner a poor weak woman, con
stantly in misery between carrying out
me severe rule oi her husband whom
she feared, and yielding to her tender
ness for her boy whom she loved
wiping ner tears without emitting any
sound, either word or Bob. As for his
two sisters they sat demure and motion-
less through the whole scene, at heart
rather pleased at it, as they had no
sympathy with their brother's taste f?r
forbidden arts, and thought him a queer,
wasteful, uncomfortable member of the
household. Moreover, though vounirer
than he? they were not too young to
see at once uie pecuniary advantage to
them of his renunoiation of his Bhare
of the estate.
Riohard went toward the barn and
took a seat in a nook of the corn-fodder
stack that was built alone the side of
the barnyard. He did not feel the cold
raw air, of the oarly morning. His mind
was too full of the step he was about to
take and what had led up to it. Now
or never he must quit the farm, re
nounce the teachings of the Sooiety,
throw aside tho cont with standing col
lar and the quaint broad-brimmed black
hat, give up the plain language, rejeot
the counsels of the venerable facers of
meeting who would surely be appointed
to visit hi a, and prove a recreant to the
revered precepts of Fox and Barclay.
All this was meant by a pursuit of hia
strong bias for art.
Why was he born with , it? Whence
came it? These questions he had often
asked himself. For six generations hia
ancestors had never touched a brush or
palette; not a painting nor a Btatue nor
a musical instrument nor any drama or
work of fiotion had beeu allowed in
their houses. How had he been created
with a passion for color and form, with
a love of poesy and music, which neither
the dreary farm work nor the colorless
life, nor all the frigid, deadening dis
cipline of the Society could quench?
Going back to his earliest memory
he could recall that when four years
old he was left for a few hours at the
house of Mike Wallis, an Irish tenant
on a neighboring farm, and that Mike's
wife had kept him in the utmost bliss
by showing him a colored print of the
Virgin and the Infant, and telling him
the pathetio history as it had pictured
itself in her warm Irish heart. But what
was the horror of his parents next day
when he toddled into the room when
they were at dinner and called :
" Mudder, mudder, come see God."
His parents ran to the door to see
what this strange appeal meant, and lot
there, on the floor of the front porch,
chalked in rude but faithful outlines,
were tho Child, with rays of glory
around his head, and the Mother, by
hia side, holding a cross. He could
still recall the scowl that came over his
father's face and his mother's impetu
ous rush for a bucket of water and
serubbiug-brush. Nor had he forgotten
the violent shake and immediate spank
ing he himself received for his artistic
endeavor.
His memory 'eapt till he was a boy
of ten, and to hia intense delight at
effecting a trade of a Barlow knife for
a box of paints. Many an hour of joy
had they given him, hiding himself in
the garret of the old house, in the back
part of the hay mow near the dusty
gable window, or in a little hut he had
built in the woods. But his prying
little sister betrayed him one day, and
not only was his treasure confiscated
but he himself was tied to the bedpost
by his mother and given suoh a whip
ping as would have discouraged most
youthful artists.
Later in life, when he was too old
for such vigorous measures, many lec
tures had he received on the frivolity of
suoh tastes ond the wickedness of min
istering to them.
These acenes passing through his
memory convinced him that it was vain
to battle with such inflexible rules, and
that to bo free he must leave the farm
and all its associations.
There was but one which had really
held him. This was Sibbilla Vernon.
The daughter of rigid parents, her
mother even a " publio friend," whose
voice at monthly and quarterly meet
ings was familiar to all members of the
Society, Sibbilla was a not unusual type
of the advanced thought of her sect.
Calm, Belf-possessed, clear-headed, she
had announced when but fifteen to her
family that her own conscience waa her
guide, and tbat in all essential matters
she should follow it.
From childhood she and Riohard
Harris had delighted to play and talk
together; and though no word ot love,
no kisa and no caro-is had ever passed
between them, both their families and
themselves considered their union
merely a matter of time and money.
Nor did this absence of the usun1 pas
sages of love seem to any one oono. rned
a strange circumstance. They vera
accustomed to the repression of all
outward show of foelirjg. In neither
household had the children ever seen a
kiss exchanged among its members,
young or old.
Though devoid of any passion for art
herself, Sibbilla understood and re
spected the forbidden tastes of her
lover. She looked upon his peculiar
abilities as gifts of God for use in life,
and she quietly but firmly put aside the
traditions of hot sect, which - condemn
them indiscriminately.
"Wilt thou presume to deny the
many testimonies of Friends, both in
England and America, against these
sinful arts ?" her mother would ask ;
being a " publio friend " of considera
ble local fame she never employed the
incorrect nominative " thee," even in
family life.
"Mother," replied the daughter,
J' they spoke for their day. I must act
in mine by the light I have, not by
weirs.
Her pother wisely avoided argument,
trusting that the Spirit would enlighten
her daughter in time.
Leaving the fodder stack Richard
walked across the bare fields toward
the plain brick house which was Sib
billa's home. His mind was made up.
He would go to New York and devote
himself to the study of art. He had
saved since his majority about three
hundred dollars. He had youth,
strength, talent, love was not that
enough? Would Sibbilla approve of
it 7 would Bhe mate tho serious sacri
fice it involved ?
As he approached the house it was
about 10 o'olock, and all the males were
out at work. He knocked at the front
door, instead of the Bide door as usual.
and Sibbilla herself opened it and
gazed at him with considerable surprise
in her hazel eyes, quickly changing to
an expression of pleasure, which Rioh
ard did not fail to note, and which
filled him with both joy and anxiety.
"Why, Richard, what brings thee
here at this hour ?" waa her exclama
tion. Sibbilla," he said, "I wish to Bee
thee," and stepping in he closed the door,
and they both stood in the wide hall,
obsourelv lighted by the transoms at
eaoh end. He paused a moment to re
cover his control, and then spoke in a
low, vibrating tone: " I am going to
leave the farm in order to study art. I
shall have to give up my membership
in the Society, as thee knows. Father
says he will leave me nothing if I do,
and I know thy mother agrees with
him. But I am not afraid. All I ask
is that thee approve of my deoision and
will become my wife as soon as I am
able to offer thee a home."
At that supreme moment of resolve
a'l the strength whioh for generations
had been nurtured by the noble Quaker
theories of sel-reliance, all the passion
which for generations had been mufil.'d
and smothered under the narrow Quaker
system of formality and repression,
burst forth and were expressed in the
face of Sibbilla Vernon. She seemed
to rise in stature, and looking him full
in the eyes, laying one hand on his arm
and passing the other round his neck,
she said:
' Richard, I will come to thee then,
or I will go with thee now."
The tone was low and the words with
out haste, but he who heard it felt in
his inmost soul that no oath could be
stronger.
Thank God and thee," he uttered,
and for the first time in their lives each
felt the magic meaning of a kiss of
love.
Seated on the wooden "settee,"
which is the common furniture of tho
'tountry hall, he told her his father'
ords and action and his own unaltera
le determination to seek his future in
t. It was agreed that thev should be
married by a magistrate as soon as Rich-!
ard should .have an income of seven i
hundred dollars a year. j
Full of OUiet iov bo wont hnmn. a.n 1
nounoed his intended marriage and im
mediate departure, pacKed his trunk,
and told Mose to have the dearborn
ready at 6 o'clock in the evening to
take him to the station. After the 5
o'clock supper the members of the
family maintained almost entire silence,
his mother quietly crying, his father
reading the "Book of Discipline," his
favorite literature.
The dearborn drove up with Mose,
who had been to the station with the
milk, and stopping at the country store,
which was also the postoffioe, had
broUffht a letter for TlinnnWl. Tfc tract
rather unusual for any member of the
1 V ... "...
nouBenoia to receive a letter, therefore
Mose announced it with considerable
emphasis, addressing his master by his
first r ame as is the custom in strict
families:
"Joseph, hy'ur's a letter for Rich
ard. Hiram sez it's a letter from York,
and 'pears as if. it mout be on bizness."
Joseph took the letter, and resisting
a strong inclination to open it passed it
to hia eon. It was from the firm in
New York to whom he had Bent a copy
of his picture, and it read:
New York, January 18, .
Dear Sir: We have the gratification
of informing you that the study you
sent us on sale has attracted the atten
tion of one of our patrons, to whom we
have parted with it for $500. Deduct
ing comm., stor'ge, insnr'ce, del'y, eto.,
as per inclosed statement, leaves a net
bal. of $372.62, for which find our c'k
herewith.
You mention a duplicate of the study
yet in your possesion. We will take
that at tho same figure, cash on deliv
ery, and will give you an order for five
more studies to be completed within a
year. Respectfully,
Smiles, Wiles & Co.
As he read this letter the check fell
from his hand on the table. The sight of
the colored and stamped paper was too
much for his father. Glancing at the
large amount, as much as he received
for the best wheat crop his farm could
raise, he snatched the letter from his
son's hand and eagerly read it. Richard
stood by in silence.
" What does he mean by the dupli
cate study ?" said his father, in an un
certain voice.
" He means," said Richard, quietly
" the picture you threw in the fire this
morning."
A new light dawned on his father's
mind. So long as his son's taste seemed
nothing but a time-and-money-wasting
form of idleness it had no redeeming fea
ures; but the incredible fact that there
were people willing to pay hundreds of
dollars apiece for such vain images now
stood right before him. He was too
shrewd to misunderstand it and its re
sults. " Ricbard," he said, with a softened
voice, "I desire that thee would post
pone leaving us for a few days. 'J hy
mother and I will accompany thee tj
the city, and will be present at the car
mony. I think Sibbilla's parents will
also not refuse to attend."
As he went out he said to Mose, who
was waiting with the dearborn :
" Mose, thee should always be slow to
anger, and avoid the committal of rash
actions when out of temper." Our Con
tinent. Hair Turning White in a Single 'Ight.
About fifteen years ago a young man
named Henry Richards, who lived at
Terre Haute, Ind., was going home one
eveving about dark from a visit to a
mend, and was walkinar alone- the rail
road track. Some little distanoe from
town was a very high trestlework over
a creek, there being no planks plaoed
across for walking, bo that people had
10 go over on me ties.
"I l ' V "1 - iv .
lwcuuruu was waiKing along at a
lively rate, and whtn he arrived at the
bridge he did not stop to think that a
train coming in was then due, but, be
ing in a hurry to get home, he started
to walk across on the crossties. He
had gotten nearly half way across the
bridge when the train came slipping
around a curve at a lively rate. He saw
the train at once and started to run, but
saw that it was useless as it would cer
tainly overtake him before he could get
ff the bridge.
He was now in a terrible plight. To
jump off was certain death, and if he
remained on the track the train would
crush him to pieces. There was no
woodwork beneath the bridge for him
to hang on to, bo he saw that his only
chance was to swing on to a small iron
rod that passed under the crossties. No
time was to be lost, as the train was
nearly on the end of the bridge. So he
swung himself under the ties, and ia a
few moments was hanging on for dear
life. The engineer had seen him just
before he swung under the bridge, and
tried to stop the train, but did more
harm than good, as he only Buooeeded
in checking the speed of the train and
made it a longer time in passing over
the form of Rickards. As the engine
passed over the coals of fire from the
ashpan dropped on his hands, burning
the flesh to the bone, as he could not
shake them off, and to let go- would
have been certain death.
The trial was at leneth over. and.
nearly dead from fright and exhaustion,
with his hands burned in a terrible
manner, Richards swung himself upon
the bridge again and ran home. When
ho readied there his hair had not
turned, but in a short time afterward it
began to got gray, and by morning it
waa almowt perfectly white. Louisville
Courier-Journal.
now to procure a telling effect
Communicate a secret to a woman.
EARTHQUAKES.
Smis ot th Shock that Have Visited the
Western Hemisphere
The last great earthquake which
visited Central America was on March
19, 1873, when San Salvador waa ut
terly destroyed. That part of the world
is peculiarly exposed to these convul
sions, but the disaster of 1873 was not
so fatal a8 that just reported, for,
though three successive shocks were
felt, the inhabitants, warned by previous
noises, were able to find places of safety,
and only about 500 perished. Earth
quakes have been so frequent in the
Central American States that the In
diana are accustomed to say that it ia
" the land that swings like a hammock."
The city of Caracas was entirelv de
stroyed in fifty-six seconds on March
26,1812. Quito, in Ecuador, waa almost
destroyed on March 22, 1859. In Peru,
Galiao was destroyed in 1586, and the
accompanying sea wave was ninety feet
high. It was again destroyed in 1746.
An earthquake which will be readily
recalled was that of August 13 and 14,
1868, in which Arica Buffered severely.
The tidal wave carried a number of
ships inland, among them the United
Statea steamer Wateree." A United
States storeship was also lost by it. In
Chili destructive earthquakes have oc
curred. One in 1822 caused a perma
nent elevation to an extent of from two
to seven feet of fully 100,000 square
miles of land lying between the Andes
and the CQaet. February 20, 1835, the
city of Oonoepcion was destroyed for
the fourth time; there were felt over
300 successive shocks within two weeks.
April 2, 1851, a severe shock was felt
at Santiago.
In the United States have been many
severe shocks. The most severe which
ever visited the Eastern and Middle
States was that of November 18. 1755.
The Bhock felt in New England waa
undoubtedly promulgated from either
the same center which emanated the
disturbance that had destroyed Lisbon
on the first day of the month, when
W.wu persons perished in six minutes,
or from a center whose aotivity had
been stimulated by the continual
quaking that then prevailed' from
Iceland to the Mediterranean. The
earthquake of the 18th began in
Massachusetts with a roaring noise like
that of thunder. After a minute's
continuance of this there came a
first severe shook with a swell like
that of a rolling sea a swell
so great that men in the open fields
ran to seize something by which
to hold on lest they should be thrown
down. After two or three lesser shocks
then came the most violent of all, pro
ducing a quick horizontal tremor wich
sudden jerks and wrenches; this con
tinued two minutes, and after a short
revival died away. Numerous other
shocks followed in the oourse of a
month. Zu Boston many buildings
were thrown down and twisted out of
shape. On October 19, 1870, occurred
the most considerable shock that has
.been observed in the Middle and East
ern States during the present century.
The source of this disturbance has been
traced, with some probability, to the
volcanic region fifty to 100 miles north
east of Quebec. From this region
the shock spread to St. Johns, N. R. ,
and thence was felt westward
to Chicago and southward to New
York. The velocity of the wave or
shock was about 14.0Q0 feet per second.
The occurrence of the shock felt at
Quebeo was telegraphed to Montreal bv
the operators of the Montreal Telegraph
company in time to call the attention
of those at the latter city to the phe
nomena, pbout thirty second! before
the shook reached tbem. In California
the earthquake of 1852 destroyed one of
the Southern missions. That of March
26, 1872. was the most severe that has
occurred there daring many years.
Special damage was done in San Fran
cisco by the cracking of the "walls of
fine publio buildings. In Nevada the
mining regions suffered in 1871 by the
destruction of Lono Pine and other
settlements.
The Way of a Serpent.
The movement of a snake in climb
ing a perpendicular surface, as I have
observed it, is a vermicular, undulating
motion, not spiral, but straight up the
faoe of the surface. I have seen a black
snake thus glide up a beech tree with
the easy, careless grace of movement
which is characteristic of that snake
when moving over horizontal surfaces.
The bark of the teeot affords few in
equalities into which the e jgea of the
gastroslepial bands could be thrust
claw-fashion, and I have no doubt
that atmospherio pressure is the
force that holds the snake against suoh
surfaces in climbing, sucker-fashion,
as the boy ' l'fta the brick with the
piece of wet leather. I once knew
a black snake to ascend a stucco
wall to the seoond-story window, and
another I saw go np to the eaves of a
carriage-house to the swallows' nest,
straight up the up-and-down boards. I
have seen them glide from tree to tree
and leap down from near the top of
large trees, but never saw one desoend
l y going down a smoothly perpen-
dioulur surface. I have no doubt of
their ability to do so, however. I do
not believe that this power is enjoyed
by the oopperheaded or rattlesnake, or
any venomous sort with which I am
familiar, they being heavy and sluggish
in their movements. I have seen them
go up on leaning trees and crawl into
the foliage of bushes, however.
T lift differanna between a. Cotr and a
boy consists in the fact that when the
dog finds a Boent he doesn't spend it
for candy.
The l'nssing Day.
Stay, sweet day, for thou art fair,
Fair and foil, and calm ;
Crowned through all thy goldon hours
With love's brightest, richcHt flowers,
Strong in faith's unshaken powers,
Blest in hope's pure balm.
Stay, what chance and change may wait,
As yon glide away ;
Now is all so glad and bright ;
Now we breathe in sure delight ;
Now wo laugh in fate's despite,
Stay with us, sweet day. ,
Ah ! she cannot, may not stop ;
All things must decay ;
Then, with heart and head, and will,
Take the Joy that lingers still,
Frize the pause in wrong; and ill,
Prize the passing day.
All the Year Round.
HUMOR OF THE DAY.
Why should candidates for the crew
be less than twenty -one years of age?
Because miners know best how to han
dle the ore. Yale Record.
A man who detected a .piece of bark
in his sausage visited the butcher's
shop to know what had become of the
rest of the dog. The butcher was so
affected that he could give him only a
part ot the tale. Courier-Journal.
A very severe case : Tommy. Oh J
oh I oh 1 mamma, I've rund a great big
splinter in my hand, and it hurts bo
offal I can't go to school." Mamma.
' But, my dear, mamma doesn't see any
thing the matter." Tommy. "Oh!
oh I Zen I guess it must be zo uzzer
hand."
A correspondent of the New England
Farmer writes about "My Experience
in Bee Keeping." But as he says noth
ing about jumping into a well to drown
the pesky critters out of bis trousers,
we don't believe he has made a truth-.
ful statement. Why will men dissem
ble about such matters Boston Post.
Brown is a kind-hearted man. Every
night he gives each of his children five
cents for going to bed early so as not to
disturb him when reading the evening
paper. About midnight he creeps
noiselessly up stairs, tafos the five cents
from their pockets, and the next morn
ing gives them a whipping for losing
it. Philadelphia Bulletin.
A young lady of Boston was reoently
noticed by her mother to be fondling
and kissing a pet kitten. " Why,
Mary," eaid the mother, "you have
kissed that kitten more in five
minutes than you have me in five
years." "Don't you know why I'd
rather kiss the kitten than you, mother ?'
"No, my child." t "You havon't got
whiskers I"
A Sunday-aohool teacher at Lewiston
had grown eloquent in picturing to his
little pupils the beauties of heaven and
he finally asked : " What kind of littlo
boys go to heaven ?" A lively four-year-old
boy, with kicking boots,
flourished hia fist. "Well, you may
answer," said the teacher. "Dead
ones," the little fellow naouted to tho
full extent of his lungs.
The full term of three years had
nearly expired, and they were discussing
at the breakfast table the certainty
that they must move and the uncertainty
as to where, when the young miss of the
parsonage drew a heavy sigh. Sympa
thizing father asks the cause and she
replies: Oh, I was thinking what a
mistake mother and I made when we
married a Methodist minister,"
Boston Transcript. -
A Galveston sohool-teaoher asked a
new loy: "If a carpenter wants to
cover a roof fifteen feet wide by twenty
broad with shingles five feet broad by
twelve long, how many shingles will bo
need?" The boy took up his hat and
slid for the door. ."Where are you
going ?" asked the teacher. "To find a
carpenter. He ought to know that
better than any of we fellers."
Before a booth in a village fair flar
ing placards announoe the celebrated
woman fish price of admission, fifteen
centimes. The booth is promptly
crowded; the stage manager draws up
the curtain, and a little old woman ap
pears on the stage and, dropping a
courtesy, says: " Ladies and gentlemen,
I am a woman fish. Murmurs. Yes,
ladies and gentlemen, my husband, Iso
dore Fish, died three years ago; leaving
me a widow, and, as you seem to tike
such a lively interest in my fortune.-, I
will proceed to take up a colleo "
The audience vanishes and makes room
for a new one. From the French.
A Catfish In tho Tartar.
The Cairo (111.) correspondence of
the St. Louis Globe-Democrat furnishes
the following in the oourse of an inter
view with a merchant of Columbus,
Ky., relative to the flooding of the
town:
" now high did the water come ?"
" Well, the Belmont hotel was built
above high water mark of 1807, the
highest flood ever known, and the
water was two feet deep in the house.
Why, the proprietor actually caught a
huge catfish in the parlor on the
ground floor.
Coleridge's Epitaph.
One of the most perfect epitaphs in
the English language is the following,
which Coleridge, the poet, wrote for
himself :
"Stop, Christian passer-by ! stop, child of God t
And read with KQutle bremt. iiunea h this sod
A pout lies, or lmt wuioli oaoe ntwiu'd to be,
tiii, lift a thought ia prayer for 8. T. IM
I hat lid who, inituy a year, with t ul of breath.
Pound death in life, muy here liud life in death. i
Mi rev f ir praibe to bo lorivuu fur faiuo,
lie aak'd and hoped through C'hriet, lo tho a
the tuue,"