The Forest Republican. (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, November 16, 1881, Image 1

Below is the OCR text representation for this newspapers page. It is also available as plain text as well as XML.

    Hates of Advertising.
OneHqnare (I inr.h.jorie insertion - ?1
OneH.jimre " ono month - -3W
OneH'iuare " thren month - 0 W
OneH.iinro " onfl yonr - - 10 00
Two Hqnnrps, on ypi -Quarter
Col. - - -
Half " " - - ;
Qn9 ii !.. 100 (0
Legal notice at establlnhed rates. ,
Marriage and death notice, gratis.
All bill for yearly advertisement ro,.
lected quarterly, temporary advertise
ments must lo paid for in advance.
Job work. Cash on delivery.
She m: gtjnMta.
js rum.i.itr;j) every wkipnefday, ijt
orriCE in robihsok & bonneb'8 BtriiMso
IXM BTttKIlT, TI0NE3TA, ?A.
TEQM3, 11.59 YEAR,
No Srtlmerlptions received for a shorter
l 'i-ioil tlian three months.
CorroHpondwicrt solicited trom nil nrt
of the country. No notioo will bo taken of
Vol. XIV. No. 34.
TIONESTA, PA, WEDNESDAY, NOV. 16, 1881.
$1.50 Per Annum.
la
The Yorklown Centennial Ode.
I.
Hark, hark I down the oontury's long-roaohhig
!opo
Ta those transports of triumph, those raptures
of hopo.
The voioea of main and mountain combined
In glad resonance borne on the wing of the
wind,
The 1)6 us of the drum and the trumpet that
thrills
Through the multiplied echooaof Jubilant hills,
And mark how the ycars,nelting upward like
Oliat
Which the breath of some splendid enchan
tress has kissod.
Reveal on the ocean, reveal on the shore
' The proud pageant of conquest that graced
them of yore,
When blended forovor in love as In fame
Bee, the standard which stole from tbo star
light its fame,
And type of ail chivalry, glory, romance,
The fair lilies, the -luminous lilies of France.
II.
Oh stubborn the strife ere the conflict was
won I
And the wild whirling war wrack half-stiflod
the sun,
,je thundors of cannons that boomed on tho
lea
Dut ro-ochoed far thundors pealed up from the
Where guarding his sea-lists, a knight on Ihe
waves,
Bold De Qrasse kept at bay the bluff bulldogs
of Graves,
The day turned to darkness, the night turned to
fire,
Still more floroer waxed the combat, more
deadly the ire.
Undlmmed by the gloom, In majestio advance,
Oh behold where they ride o'er the red battle
tide,
Thoe banners united in love as in fame,
The brave standard which drew from the star
beams their flame.
And type of all chivalry, iclory, romanoe,
The fair lilies, the luminous lilies ot Franco
nr.
pau'e; by
No respite, no
flood
the York's tortured
The gray Lion of England is writhing in blood.
Cornwallis may chafe and coarse Tarleton aver
As be sharpens his broadsword and buckles hU
spur,
'This blade, which so often has reaped rebel
like grain,
Shall now harvest for doath the rude yeo.iau
again."
Vain boast; for ere sunset he's flying in fear,
With the rebels be scouted close, olose in hie
rear,
The Frenoh on his flank hurl such volleys of
shot
That e'en Gloucester's redoubt must be grow
ing too hot.
Thus wedded in love as united in fame.
Lo i the standard which stole from the star
light its flame,
And type of all chivalry, glory, romance,
The fi.ir lilies, the luminous lilies of France
IT.
Oh moraine appear 1 when the siege reached
its close;
8 e I the Bund awn outblownlike the alchemist's
rose 1
The iMt wreath of smoke from dim trenches
upcurled
Are transformed to a glory that smiles on the
world.
Jov. Jov I Save the wan, wasted front of the
foe,
With his battle flags furled and his arms trail
ing low,
Bespect for the brave I In grim silence they
yield
And in Bilcnoe they pass with bowed head from
the field.
' Then triumph transcendent I so Titan of tone
That some rowed it must startlo King George
on his throne.
V.
When Peace to her own time the pulse of the
land,
And the war weapon sank from the war-wearied
hand,
Young Freedom upborne to the height of the
goal
She had yearned for so long with deep travail
of soul,
A song of the future raised, thrilling and
clear,
Till the woeda leaned to hearken, the hill slopes
to hear,
Yet fraucht with all magical grandeurs tha
gleam
On the hero's high hope, or the patriot's
dream,
What future, though bright, in cold Bhadow
shall cast
The stern beauty that halos the brow of the
past.
Oh I wedded in love, as united in fame,
See the standard which stole from the starlight
its flame.
And type of all chivalry, glory, romance,
TheVair lilies, th luminous lilies of France.
"AHEAD OF TIME."
" Now I'm going to show you why I
struck out for myself.
I had been driving a mile or two
with my cheery friend, Dr. Mary Sted'
man. ami Tiniu inai moment was un
And until that moment
aware of any motive for the ride other
.i ' i 1 . l
mau me Usual ontJ VI luenouia n uo
both.
I have a warm place in my heart
for my native Vermont, she went on
"And knowing how I love it, I am sure
you have often wondered why I did not
remain here instead of seeking a home
and a profession for myself among
strangers."
I had often speculated on this very
subject but there was no time to confess
it, for at that moment my companion
reined up suddenly, and with a brisk
" Here we are I jumped from tho car
nage.
" Thin," pointing to a weather-beaten
but fetill comfortable-looking house, "is
the homestead. Binco the deatn oi our
Earents my eldest brother has lived
ere. You needn't be at all disturbed,"
as I naturally hesitated about intruding
among strangers, "for mj sister-in-law
expects us."
How cool 1 how neat I now snaay
and comfortable!" were my first ex
clamations as I followed my leader into
the old-fashioned parlor.
Just so," she responded amy.
"And. my dear, you might search from
cellar to garret of this great house, and
though you stood upon ladders, and
Eeered with a microscope upon your
ands and knees, you would never be
able to find a fly."
Mrs. Stedman looked as her sister-in-
law had described her " like a very sad
and troubled ghost." She was pain
fully thin and haggard, and at least a
dozen times during our short call I no
ticed her mournful eyes fill with tears.
Well, Sarah, said the doctor,
yon are as busy as ever, I suppose ?"
" Uli, yes, our Hostess replied:
" there is never any end to work."
" Been making butter to-day r
"I made a little over forty pounds this
morning."
" Before breakfast, I suppose?"
The doctor's tone was somewhat
crisp.
" I churned at lour, and i nave usj
worked my butter over. I don't mind
bo much when churning doesn't come
washing days; and, you see, cream has
got to be attended to wnenever it is
ready."
Been washing, too my mend in
quired.
"Uu. yes! And it did seem as ill
had every gannent in the tub that there
was in the house I
So you've made forty pounds of
butter," (aid the doctor, " washed and
what else ?"
" Not much else beside the regular
work. I picked some beans for dinner,
and made a few pies;, that a all.
At this point my friend, much to my
surprise, turned tue conversation into
other channels, and soon after we took
our leave.
: It seen: s to me you have neglected
an opportunity." I remarked, as soon
as we had driven away.
"I supposed youd turns so," my
companion answered; " out you can
form no conception oi tue amount oi
breath I have wasted on that very case.
I am regarding it now solely from a
scientific standpoint. I think I calcu
late the length of that woman s days
within a fraction of time.
"I should think your brother wouldn t
allow his wife to work so," I remarked
"What does he know about it?" said
the doctor. " lie comes into the house
for the three meals that are prepared
for him, and when night comes he goes
to bed and to sleep, or he drives over to
the village and spends his evenings with
his friends. My brother works hard
but he works out of doors, and that saves
him. Sarah has an excellent reputation
as wife and housekeeper all over the
country. She has helped my brother
lay up in Vermount vernacular
several thousand dollars. It doesn'
take a prophet to see that another wife
will have the benefit of this one s toil
though it is probable, if she comes from
this section of the country, she'll not
have sense enough to be benefited by
anything 1
- ..
If your sister-in-law would only
have a servant," I suggested.
"A servant I Why, what a greenhorn
you are r said tne doctor. juo you
think my brother and his wne are
strong enough to bear the ringer of scorn
that would inevitably be pointed
them should they employ a servant ? It
is far better, my dear, to work one's self
to death than to be called lazy, and
shiftless and extravagant. If this were
not the case they would not think they
could afford a servant. My brother is
dominated, bou! and body, by the spirit
of economy, and his wife is a reflection
of himself. Here we are again," my
friend continued, coming to a stop be
fore the door of a more modern and
more pretentious mansion. "My young
est sister lives here. It seems singular,
doesn't it, that I have never introduced
ycu to my relatives before ? The truth
is. vou and I are perplexities to these
good people. We turn them out
their beaten tracks for a while, with no
other result than to add to their hard
work and anxieties. Ten years ago my
sister Anna was as healthy a girl
there was in Vermont, and the brightest
and wittiest one of the family. I had
some hopts that she would keep out of
the treadmill, and, if she did marry a
farmer and settle down here, that she
would furnish an example of common
sense to her neigobors; but Bhe is just
like tho rest, only worse perhaps."
All this as the doctor hitched her
horse, and we walked up the long
graveled walk.
Sister Anna was scolding one of her
children when we entered the house,
and we were upon her before Bhe had
finished her loud-pitched harangue.
I don t believe any one ever had
suchjeontrary youngsters as I have got "
I ,,V . 1. ,, .3 anAlAyati'allv 'I'll n v
nun reuimacu, bj(s-w..j .
do worry me bo sometimes that it seems
to me I should enjoy myself in my
grave."
"Send a couple of them to me, Anna,
whenever you feel like parting with
them," said the doctor,
"I would in a minute if their father
was willing," the lady replied. "I
don't know how to bring up children,"
she added, "and if I did know how,
haven't any time. To tell the truth ,
have such a pain in my side all the
time that I'm not fit for anything. I
wish you'd give me some of that medi
cine, Mary, that you gave me last sum
mer." "I auppose :you work just as hard,
Anna, as though you hadn't a pain in
your side," the doctor remarked.
"Of course 1 do, was tne somewnat
irritable response. " Who else is there
to do it if I give up?"
" Where is the pain, Anna, and now
on g have you had it ?"
Tne doctor s tones were even, ana
her manner so calmly professional that
bad at the time no suspicion tnat any
of it was assumed.
It is under my left shoulder blade.
her sister replied, "and I haven't
breathed a long breath since last No
vember. Sometimes it is worse than
others, and I am conscious of it every
minute."
The doctor drew a chair to her sister's
side, and took her hand in hers.
"Dear me, Mary, my pulse is all
right," said the invalid, doing her best
to make light of the situation.
" How many men does your husband
hire this summer, Anna 7 the doctor
inquired, as she prepared some medi
cine. " Only 6ix this year."
" And you cook and wash for them, I
suppose ?"
" OI course.
" How many cows have you T'
" Fourteen."
" And you make butter for market ?"
Sister Anna smiled as she answered
this question.
"1 average about sixty pounds a
week."
" What time do you get up in the
morning?'
" About 4 o'clock."
" What time do vou go to bed ?"
" Anywhere from 10 to 12," and then,
with a glance in my direction, "you
see. farmers nave to Keep aneaa oi time.
If they didn t manage to do this they
couldn't lay up anything, to save their
lives."
" Anna," said the doctor, taking no
notice of the above remark, "I intend
to stay in Vermont a month, unless I am
needed in New York. Would you like
me to take charge of your case during
thartime?"
My easel" her sister repeated m
preat perplexity. "Idont suppose I
shall need anything more than that
medicine."
"I will gladly do all lean for you,
Anna," the doctor resumed, "and
when I am compelled to go back I will
leave you in good hands ; but it must
be on condition oi tne most penect
obedience on your part, xou have
hard coughing spells every morning, do
vou not ?"
" Yes. Mary, nut now in tne woria
did you know that ?"
"No matter how l known, mat l
do know it is sufficient. To begin
with. Anna, your husband must find
other places for his workmen, and some
one must be found immediately to do
your housework, iou must go to bed
every night at 8 o clock;, and remain
in bed till after breakfast. You must
have all sorts of nourishing food, and
pork and codfish must be eliminated
from your bill of faro."
" Mary, what do you mean ?"
There was a look of terror in the
poor woman's eyes, and her lips quivered
painfully.
"I mean, if you do exactly as I tell
you. you may get well; ii not, it is inv
possible,", the d octor replied. " If you
think I am exaggerating, or don't know
what I am talking about, send for any
reputable physician you please and ask
him to tell you the truth."
"Ob, Mary I There isn't any way of
doing the things you speak of. Clarke
feels awfully poor this summer, and I
have been trying harder than ever to
make the ends lap over."
"Where is Clarke?" the doctor in
quired.
" He is down at the creek, haying,
" I will drive down and have a talk
with him right away," said my friend,
making ready to leave.
" Oh, Mary ! Dorft you think there
is anv other way ?
The poor woman had broken down
completely now, and the doctor held
her for a moment in her strong arms
and caressed her fondly.
"No other wa, sis," she replied;
"but we will do the best we can,
There's no telling what a good rest and
careful nursing may do for your poor
tired body, my dear."
"I was going to take you to some
other places," the doctor remarked, as
we drove away, "but it would have been
the same old Btory; work, work, work,
without rest or change, from year's end
to year's end. My mother killed her
self by her attempts to get ahead of
time. Two sisters have traveled the
same road that Anna has started on,
cue of them absolutely dropping dead
in her kitchen in the midst of her work.
This is the kind of thing I could not
endure to see go on. I kner it was all
wrong as soon as I knew anyvling, and
when I became old enough to have a
voice in my own education I persisted
Li taking a different course. My sister
Anna has tried so hard to get ahead of
time and make things 'lap over' that
she has abused and probably killed her
self, beside criminally neglecting and
mismanaging her children. I don't
suppose she has had five hours' sleep
out of the twenty-four during the last
five years, and think of that amount of
rest fcr a woman whose brain and
muscle are forever in use 1 Every year
I come up here and find things going
from bad to worse among my rela
tives and most of my friends, and the
horrible part of it is that nothing one
can say or do will ever have the slight
est effect."
Don't von think vour verr natural
anxiety about your sister may have col
ored your diagnosis a little ?" I inquired.
Not in the least," my companion
answered. "Anna's pulse was one
hundred and twelve. Tho respiration
was labored and ominously frequent.
There is no mistaking such signs."
How could she keep at work with
such a pulse as that ?" I asked.
By the exercise of will power," said
the doctor. " In our family will power
is a direct inheritance. If it could only
have been put to a good use how much
might have been accomplished i juy
dear, this will power eats salt pork
when good bref and the most nutritious
food are absolute necessities, it makes
all its cream into butter that the cash
may lap over. It drinks skim milk,
and works nineteen hours out of twenty
four." Boon after this the doctor dropped
me at my boarding-house.
"Now you know all about it," sue
remarked in parting, " and if any one
ever asks vou whv Marv Stodman did
not remain among her relatives you can
say that she declined to live among
criminals and suicides."
Five months after the above incident
sister Anna died, and one year from
that date the widower married again.
The second wife is a duplicate of the
first, working night and day and "lay
ing up " for a future which it is more
than likely she never will enjoy.
Eleanor Kirk, in Christian Union.
Inspecting Keely's Motor.
A short time ago some of the direct
ors of the Keely Motor company ex
tended an invitation to several New
York capitalists to come over to Phila-
delnhia and witness the operation of
this much talked-of machine. Accord
ingly a number of gentlemen, repre
sending different commercial pursuits
and a good deal of capital, visited Thil
adelphia and were escorted to where the
motor is in place, in an oia siaDie in
tho rear of Mr. Keely s house. Ihe
only possible way to gain admittance to
the seance was by giving mree raps on
the door at short intervals, and Mr.
Lorimer, one of the directors, and Mr.
Schullerman, the secretary, as 'door
tenders, tried to exclude all but tne in
vited few.
As the clock was striking 8 the upper
apartment of the stable was full of
men. Mr. Keely then poured twenty
drops of cold water into the generator
of his apparatus and connected the dif
ferent tubes which acted asi insulatois
of sound and vibration. After the first
expulsion, which caused the vaporiza
tion of a part oi tne twenty arops oi
water poured into the generator, Mr.
Keely proceeded to show the vibratory
power oi ins macnine, placing a numw
brass globe between two piaies oi giass
. .... i i . j
an men tnica. terrain couiuiubuulu
were made and the globe began to re
volve at the rate of a hundred revolu
tions a second, as claimed by keely.
The next experiment was the firing of a
cannon ball through a four-inch plank
and then flattening the ball against an
iron plate back of the plank. Again a
little wire was connected between the
Generator and the cannon, and, without
any apparent force except that supplied
by tne vapor gaiueu uuiu mo mnuij
drops of water, a ball went crashing
through the room, striking the wall in
what Mr. Keelv calls nis vice snop. iso
hot air escaped from the mouth of the
cannon. Then Mr. Jieely exhibited nis
bpltiuor machinery and created what
was claimed to be six-horse power mo
tion instantaneously. Many questions,
all wonderfully unscientific, were asked
and answered by Mr. Keely in an ex
citable, jerky way, in incomprehensible
scientific terms. After tne exniouion
was over a vote of thanks was tendered
Mr. Keely. In his reply he said: "I do
not claim to have invented this. Any
man who would make Buch a claim
would be a fool. This is an invention
of the great Creator. I merely pat to
gether machinery to demonstrate the
vibratory power of that you have wit
nessed to-night."
lienty or Game.
Common people, who have not re
ceived the proper amount of educational
nutriment, are apt to be careless in the
use of their mother tongue. Some
folks ask a question in such a way that
you really don't know what they mean,
while tno trae scnoiar eaysexacuy wui
he means and means exactly what he
says. For example: A gentleman with
a gun over nis fcuouiaer, wnue wanuer.
inir through the " rheubarbs" of a far
Western hamlet, met an unfledged Mil
ton, and said: "Sonny, is there any
game in these parts r lie did not ex
plain that he meant elephants or tigers
or grizzly bears, ana so aepenaeu upuu
the native genius of the youth to
answer his question correctly. The
bov. who had spent most of his time in
a miner's camp, and had made himself
acquainted with the pastimes of that
Bimple-minded and bucolio folk, replied
at once: "Yes, Bir, there's plenty."
The hunter took his double-barreled
weapon from his shoulder and put a new
cao on. and in a very enthusiastio way
fthked acain: " Well, what kind of
game is there ?" The rustio sonny re
plied: " Well, si, there's considerable
euchre,' but then it's mostly seven
up ' in these parts.
When others are sufltriuz, drop a word of
dullness and Hyuipathy. If they are sufloring
from a Cold give them Dr. Bull' Couth Syrui
a few doses of this valuable remedy will afford
inatatit relief and a twenty-five oeut bottle will
cuie the worat cough.
Successful Shln-Urftfllner.
Some months ago we made reference
to a case of skin-grafting in this city,
performed by Dr. John Deyo, and we
may now Btate that the operation nas
proved wholly successful and the high
est expectations have been realized. It
will be remembered that the person
operated on was Mary Foster, a little
girl of ten years, wno lives in jului
street, who had the misfortune to
E lunge into and overturn on herself a
oiler of very hot water. The upper
part of her body waq badly scalded,
particularly her right arm, whicn was
wholly divested of skin from the
shoulder to the tips of the fingers. The
other burns got along well, but this
arm caused the child untold pain, while
the great discharge from it was neces
sarily very weakening.
It was at this state oi the case tnat
the physician named resorted to the
skin-grafting operation, which he per
formed on Sunday morning, May 1,
calling into service four or five young
men ho volunteered to take part in
the interesting case of surgery. These
young men bared their arms, and one at
a time sat close to tne oeusiue oi me
suffering child, while Dr. Deyo care
fully cut from one arm of each man th.e
grafts of skin and quickly placed them,
while yet full of vitality, on the ex
posed, quivering flesh on the Bcalded
arm of the little sufferer. Some of
"the boys" had sore arms for a few
days, but this was little thought of,
and they now have the satisfaction of
knowing that their self-denial was not
in vain. Tho second day after the
operation was performed it waa found
that about three-fourths of the trans
planted grafts of- skin had adhered and
taken root, and the little white specks
slowly grew in circumference till they
covered the intervening Bpace, and
joining together gradually began to
afford that protection from air of which
the injured arm was in need.
The arm was pretty well healed in six
weeks, and the child was able to be
about, but since then she had in play
twice hurt the still tender limb once
in the latter part of June and once in
July, the latter time being struck with
apiece of sod, which raised a very large
blood blister. Tne set-backs nave been
overcome, however, and the arm may
now be said to have got completely
well just as good as ever. There is
not a cicatrix in its whole length not
as much as there is on the arms of some
of the boys who snppliol grafts and
the skin is as soft and smooth as any
of the rest on the girl's body. It only
differs from the rest in being somewhat
red in color, but this redness is gradu
ally passing away, while the girl uses
the arm with perfect freedom and seems
to have in it the normal quantity oi
strength. Netrbvry (N. Y.) Journal.
Horrors of a Drought,
The drought of 1881 has been nothing
to that of 1819, to judge from the de
scription of one who claims to .have
passed through it, and who says : Dur
ing tint drought the cattle became
afllicted with the hot-weather itch and
thousands died, literally tearing the
skin from their sides and backs in their
frantic efforts to scratch themselves to
relieve the intolerable itching. Deer
and horses died with the black tongue ;
fowls and birds became listless and
stupefied, moped in despair, lost their
plumage and died in utter misery.
Men, women and children grew sick
with disappointed hopes for the heal
ing showers, drinking the foul carbon
ized water and eating dusty food, and
many died of disease not known before
or since. Maddened with the intolera
ble itch and frantic with eating the dry
and dossicated grass, deprived of all
nutritive elements by the long drought,
the cattle, sheep and horses roamea
over the fields and through the forests,
moaning and howling, or pawing the
earth in impotent rage. Added to these
horrors, the fields ana xorests iook nre
and burned for weeks and months. The
air was filled with smoke and ashes,
producing another horror in the shape
of Borne form of ophthalmia that was
almost intolerable. This state of things
lasted until the middle of January,
when the blessed rain and the really
beautiful Bnow came and saved the
country from utter annihilation.
An Interrupted Wedding.
TTniontown fKv.l society has been
given a shock irom wmcn it wui iae
long time to reoover. The trouble cul
minated at a wedding. Tho about-to-
be bride was young, refined, and, as hei
masculine acquaintances aver, oeauu
fnl. The groom had been introduced
w . 1. Ll
into the best circle of Uniontown peo
pie a few months before, and had com
pletely won the confidence of the young
woman s parents, lie was canuBomt?,
scholarlv and of fascinating manners
A week or bo ago tne menus oi me
. ,i . .1 lL.
bride met at the church where the cere
mony was to be performed, and soon
the bride hersell entered, whu nowiug
veil and rosy cheeks. The clergyman,
whose services had been secured for the
occasion, eved the bridegroom closely,
and when the latter drew near the good
man dropped his book as though both
ami zed and horrified.
" I cannot marry this man," he said,
recovering quickly.
" Why not, sir ?" asked the bride's
father, rifcing in anger from his seat and
moving toward the clergyman.
" Because I married this man to an
other woman at Evansville, Ind., less
tban a year ago."
Some of the ladies fiinted, the briae-groom-elect
gesticulated violent pro
testations, and the wedding party col-
lupsed. investigation showed that the
charge was well founded.
Rub or Host.
Idler, why lie down to ie?
Better rub than rust.
Hark I the lark sings in the sky
Die when dio thou must I
Day is waking, leaves are shaking,
Better rub than rust.
In the grave there's sleep enough
Bettor rub than rust.
Death, porhaps, is hunger proof,
Dio, when die thou must;
Men are mowing, breezes blowing,
Better rub than rust.
He who will not work shall want;
Naught for naught is jnst
Won't do, must do, when ho can't,
Better mb than rust
Bees are flying, sloth is dying,
Better rub than runt.
Eoencxer Elliott.
HUMOR OF THE Di.Y.
Hanging a man in effigy is about as
muoh fun as making faces at a blind
man.
"Excuse the liberty I take," as the
ct nvict remarked when he escaped from
the State prison.
A manufacturing wire worker, in nn
advertisement, invites the public to
come and see his invisible wire fence.
A base hit. Perhaps after all, the
Burest way to wipe out the Apaches
would be to invite them to play bast
ball with a baseball nine.
A piece of petrified bread has been
found in Iberville Parish, La. No clew
to the mystery, as there ft no railroad
lunch counter in the county.
The bicycle is a great thing to pnt
flesh on a man. Tho Chicago Tribune
knows ot a man who had ono only a
week, and his left ankle is three inches
larger around than it was when ho firct
rode it.
"The lurid flames shot their red
tongues of fire high up toward the glow
ing heavens, as if they were, in their
vengeful fury, endeavoring to sear the
bright faces cf the twinkling stars !"
It was only a $50 stable, containing $25
worth of hay. but the reporter felt that
way and really couldn't help it. Detroit
Frea Press.
An Indiana editor, struck by light
ning, was Btripped of his clothes and
thrown asrainst a wall. If he was re
lying on running a weekly paper ior nia
support, weJon't blame the lightning,
for he was probably bo mm ma mo
lightning took him for a lightning-rod
aud struck him while under the im
pression that he was simply attending
to business. EvansviUo Argus,
In Boston, recently, during banking
hours and with all the clerks present, a
mm stopped behind the counter, walked
to the Fafe, entered, tooK up a pan-ine
. AA V.1 A,. il a
o jiitaining $ouu,uuu oeiongiug i i uu
pre sident of tho bank, and walked away
with it unmolested. ine man wuo
executed this cool proceeding haj
always stood high in the community
and is well known.
He is tha president
of the bank.
Lord Lome's Costly Mar zluo.
" Would you like to buy that liar-
per s Magatmer asKeu me sou voiueu
and timid peanuiter on ine eass uoudu
Union Pacific train the other day to a
middle aged passenger who was looking
over the Harper and roading Judge
Goodwin's article on tho Mormon situ
ation. "No," said the middle-aged party.
" It is my own magazine, and therefore
I do not care to buy it." t
" Excuse me," said tho poor little
frightened peanutter, while the teais
came into his eyes. " I fear yen want
to cheat a poor orphan boy out of his
books. Please pay me, sir, or let me
have the magazine back again. Ab,
sir, you would not rob me of my
goods."
"No," said the stern Btranger, "I
do not wish to rob you of your book,
my boy. but I bought this on the Utah '
Northern road and paid for it. When
I went into tho eating-house for break
fast the train butcher took it cut of n-y
seat and sold it to me again in the after
noon. I was in the middle of an article
when we got to the dinner station, bo I
turned down the leaf and loft it again
in my seat. I had to buy it once more.
Now the magazine has cost me 82, and
you want me to give it to you so that
you can sell it through Nebraska, no
doubt No, my poor little orphan lad,
you may go and soak your head for an
hour or two and batho your tear
bedimmed eyes, but I cannot give up
my $2 magazine. Peddle out your
bead moocasins, made by the hostile
Indians of Chicago. Sell out your lit
tle Block of nauseating apples at $27 per
barrel, with two prize worms in each
and every apple, but do not disturb me
while I read my expensive penuuii-ain.
I will not bother you while you Bf 11
your fancy mixed candies that have
been running over the road Bince '09.
I will not interfere witn you wnue you
sell your Indian curiosities made in
Connecticut. Go ahead and make all
the money you can, but give me a
chance to peruse this article without
the regular assessment."
The hurt and grieved orphan boy
went to the Bleeping-car conductor and
asked who that sarcastic old cuss ovfr
yonder might be, and the conductoi
said it was the Marquis of Lome.
And it was, too. lfoomeran'j.
The business of paper making in the
United States is estimated to employ
over 8100,000,000 of capital and and
40,009 persons.