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0 Y '. '-
VOL. XIV. NO. 19. TIONESTA, PA., AUG. 3, 1881.
$1.50 Per Annum.
4 ,
i. ww w AT t t
What Is Fame '"' .,
Fame? Is It to visit Europe,'1' .
Study art a while in Itomor
Taint, perhaps, a dozen picture, '
Oct your inm up and come homo j
Then to have tlio neighbors ask you .
Whon they seo your masterpiece,
" Does tho knack of painting pictures
Talio much time and olbow grease 1"
And is it to writes poem '
Olowing with poetic fire, ,
Full of passion, and tho longing
After something bolter, higher,. . . ,
Some time road it to tho neighbors, .
And then, feeling like a fool,
Hero one uay, "I wroto such verse
Very often while iu school."
Fume ? It ia to keep on painting,
Keep on writing if inclinod, .
Till tho world that liea beyond you
Your position ban defined.
Is it labor, till your pictures
Aro exchanged for bo much gold ;'
Till your poems, like potatoes,
Iu the market can bo Bold.
After you havo climbed the ladder,
From tho lowest round,
Then tho neighbors pat your shouldor,
And your fullsomo praises sound.
After having, with your talent,
Learned the money-making art,
Thon they gay, "We always loved you;
Always said that you were smart." '
Paul Canon.
DOLLY'S DESTINY.
" I shouldn't be surprised any day,
Dolly, to see David Wiggin tying bis
horse at your gate," said Mr. Blount,
roguishly, gathering up the reins.
" Nonsense, brother I Anything the
matter with his own hitching-post ? re
torted Miss Dolly, turning in the door
way. Mr. Blount laughed. Everybody felt
bound to laugh at Miss Dolly's crisp
payings that had kept her friends in good
humor these forty years.
" And when David does call on you,"
pursued Mr. Blount, more seriously,
" I do hope, Dolly, you 11 give him a
chance to do his errand. That'll be no
more than fair, and the man won't be
easy until he has freed his mind."
- What mischief are you the forerun
"ner of now, James Blount?" cried Miss
Dollv, facing about, like a soldier on
drill. " What upon earth have I to do
with David's errands ?"
" W ell, his wife has been dead a year
or more." said Mr. Blount, suggestively,
shutting one eye and squinting . with
the other down the length of his whip
stalk, "and lately he has been asking
about you. You can put that and that
together to suit yourself."
Fiddlestick l1' said Mies Dolly, enor
getically.
" I shan't say have him or don't have
him though there isn t a likelier man
living than David but I do sav, Dolly,
vou ought to givt. him a hearing," and
having convinced himself beyond a rea
sonable doubt that the whip was riRht,
.Mr. Biuriut tickled his sleepy horse with
"it and drove away.
" Oh, my sorrows 1" ejaculated Miss
Dolly, closing the door with an afflicted
countenance, and Bitting down so quiet
ly for once that a photographer might
have copied her then and there. Not
that he could have done her justice, for
her expression was too quick and varied
to be caught by any trick of chemicals,
and without it Miss Dolly's physiogno
my would have been rather character
less but for her Bonian noee. This
organ gnve tone to her face. By which
I would not be understood literally as
' saying that she talked through a natal
whine. I moan simply in a metaphori
cal sense this bold feature spoke loudly
of energy. And Miss Dolly had abun"-
- dant need "of energy else why the
nose? Every two years during her
childhood she had been tiptoed into the
east bedroom to see a new baby, till, at
her mother's death, Ave little brothers
fell to her charge to be coaxed and
scolded into manhood.
. "You can't bring up those boys,"
groaned a dolorous auut. " They'll run
square over you, Dorthy Alinoda."
"Let them run over me so long an it
does not hurt 'em !" laughed Miss Dolly,
bkewing her flaxen hair with a goose
quill and tying a calico apron over her
calico longakirt, preparatory to " bring
ing up" said youths.
From that day forward she went
cheerily on, making the best of every
thing, though it must be confessed she
often had odds and ends to work with,
as fliose do have who are born with a
faculty. Somehow she found time for
all her duties except matrimony. If
that were a duty, it was one she wouldn't
ind couldn't attend to while her father
and the children needed her. Divers
young men thought this a great pity,
among them Wiggin. "Don't be silly
David 1" said Dolly, when he hinted as
much to her ; whereupon David went off
and married Olive Searle, the plainest
girl in the paribh.
This happened twenty years ago, and
David was again wifeless, and again
the current of his thoughts turned to-
. ward Dolly, who Mill lived at the old
homestead at the foot of Bryant's Falls.
Her father had died some months be
fore. Of the boys James and Ezekie
. had settled on neighboring farms, and
the remaining three had crone 'West.
David's benevolent heart warmed with
compassion as he remembered Dolly's
lonely condition, and he felt that it
would bo exceedingly kind in him to
oiler her a home, especially as ho owned
as good a place as you'd find on the
river, while the Blount cottage was fall
ing into decay. He wouldu't let her
f ! r 'i"r refn-rtl tell sainht her, for as he
lo'okcd back he couldn't really see how
she could have married any one at that
period. She ought to be rewarded for
the devotion she had shown to the
famjly; and, for bis part, he felt mag
nanimous enough to give her & second
chance to accept him. Such was the
worthy widower's state of mind when
he asked James Blount, with mock
humility, whether it would be of any
use for him to try and make a bargain
with Dolly.
" That b more than 1 can tell," Mr.
Blount had answered. " Dolly's a puz
zle, you'll have to find her out yourself."
Mr. Wiggin smiled in complacent an
ticipation of acceptance, indeed, if it
might not seem like reproach to the
memory of his lost Olive, I should say
the kind-hearted man rejoiced in this
opportunity of making Miss Dolly's
happiness. Benevolence was in his
face, benevolence was in his spirit, as
he sallied forth at an early day to ac
quaint her with her good fortune. The
broken harrow which he had strapped
into his wagon to give the neighbors
as a plausible one for his trip to the
falls, was by no moans typical of men
tal laceration to its owner. His feeling
as he approached Miss Dolly's moss
grown cottage was purclv one of thank
fulness that it was in his power to pro
vide her a better home. Not that he
was grateful to his dead wife for leav
ing a vacancy there. Mr. Wiggin had
mourned faithfully for Olive a year and
a day.
Miss Dolly was out in the garden
gathering catnip. She had built a chip
lire under the tea-kettle and then
whisked off to pick an armful of the
pungent, leaves' while the water was
boiling. There she was, stooping
beneath the eaves of a log-cabin, wearing
a big sunbonnet, and humming a lively
tune, when Mr. Wiggin drove up.
"Come, my love, haste away,"
piped Miss Dolly, cheerily, snapping
away briskly at the stalks.
" Cut short the hours of thy dolay,
Fly like a youthful "
" Fly like a youthful ' " struck in a
wheezy bass.
The sunbonnet tipped bacK like a
cartbody.
" Sakes alive I " cried Miss Dolly, not
in the words of the hymn, as Mr. Wig
gin strode toward her on his slightly
rheumatic legs.
" I didn't mean to put you out," he
laughed, shaking hands heartily; "but
it seemed kind 'o nateral to take part
with you in Invitation.
" You always had a way of falling in at
the most unheard of time, I remem'
bered," retorted Miss Dolly, saucily,
recovering herself and going on gather
ing catnip.
" You used to say I kept good time,
only too much of it, pursued Mr. W lg
gin with a sudden inspiration ; " but
tell you what, Dolly, .time never did
drag with me more than it does these
days."
" It is a dull season," said Miss Dolly,
with exasperating-simplicity. "I sup
pose the grasshoppers havo eaten most
of your wheat haven't thev so it'll
hardly pay for reaping?"
" Just so," asserted Mr. Wiggin, dis
comfited. He had not traveled five
miles in the heat to discuss the state of
the crops. .
" Walk in and sit down, won t you?
said Dolly, with reluctant hospitality,
Her apron was crammed to its utmost
capacity. She devoutly wished it had
been larger.
" Well, yes, I don t care if I do," an
swered Mr. Wiggin, after a hypocritical
show of hesitancy. " I had a little busi
ness further on at the blacksmith's. No
hurry, though, as I know of," and he
turned to let down the bars for Miss
Dolly, who meanwhile" slipped through
the fence, -catnip and all. " Bless my
heart ! I don't see but you are as smart
as you ever was," said he, admmnglv,
as he puffed along in her wake. ' Still
you must get into years, Dolly, as well
as i no onense, l nope ana I was
wondering whether or no it wasn't lone
some for you to live alone here a woman
so r
" Oh, I never was one of the lonesome
kind, responded Miss Dolly, briskly,
seating her guest in the patchwork
cushioned rocking-chair, "and, for that
matter, hardly a day passes without
some of James' folks running in."
" Yes, I know ; but if you was to
change your situation wouldn't you en
joy liie better, tmnk (
Miss Dolly fidgeted at the green paper
curtains and intimated that her happi
ness would be complete if the grass
hoppers would etop feeding on her
garden sauce.
" That's just it" continued Mr. Wig
gin, eagerly ; " you seem to need a man
to look out for your farming interests,
now don't you, Dolly I a man that
will be ready and willing to do for you,
and make you comfortable
"I don't know," said Miss Dolly,
dryly. "The year father died I did
have Silas Potter, and he is the most
faithful creature living ; but what with
the extra cooking and washing I had to
do for him my work was about double,
and when mud-time came I was glad
enough to send him off and hire by the
day. I made up my mind that men
folks cost more than they come to."
"I guess we dont understand one
another, Dolly," said Mr. Wiggin,
slightly disooncerted at this unflatter
ing view of his sex. I wasn't speak-
mg of hmng help, iJoliy. iSaturaliy
you would get tired of that. It's wor
ryin' to a woman. But if you was to
have a companion now one that coujd
give you a good home, with wood and
water under cover "
"Shoo I bhool" rried Miss Dolly,
flying out after an inquiring chicken on
the doorstep.
Mr. Wiggin drew his red handker
chief from his hat to wipe his glowing
face. Certainly he had not felt the
heat so bad through haying.
"How's your health nowadays?"
asked Dolly, frisking back with a look
of resolute unconsciousness.
"Very good; remarkably good I I
don't know where you will find a man
with a tougher constitution than I have
got.'
"Ahl" and Dolly blushed like a
sumac in October.
"Yes, I'm well," pursued Mr. Wig
gin, perse veringly, " and I m tolerable
well-to-do, with nothing to hinder my
marrying again, provided I can see a
woman to my mind."
"1 here s the deacon s widow, sng-
gested Miss Dolly, officiously; "she's
pious, economical "
" She s left with means enough to carry
her through handsomely," interrupted
Mr. Wiggin, quickly. " Now, I d rather
have a wife to provide for one that
needed a home. In fact, Dolly, I have
my eye on a little woman I want this
minute."
He had both eyes on her for that
matter, and Miss Dolly was forced to
recognize the situation, whether she ac
cepted it or not."
" l ve managed to sweeten my ten o
far, David, without calling upon my
neighbors," chirruped she, stooping to
lay straight the braided mat, "and I
might as well keep on. I don't feel it
a t ax as Borne people would. But there's
Martha Dunning, she's having a hard
time to get along. Why don't you take
her, David? She'd appreciate Buch a
ice home aa yours.
' It would seem as if most any woman
might," said Mr. Wiggin, in an injured
tone; " all finished off complete, painted
outside and in "
"She'd be delighted with it, I'm sure
of it," broke in Miss Dolly, with an air
of conviction, as she darted into the
kitchen to lift the boiling kettle from
the crane.
" But yon don't mean that you won't
marry me, Dolly, pleaded Mr. Wiggin,
anxiously following her to the door.
I have been dotm on seein you at
the head of things at my bouse."
" Martha is a grand manager, said
Miss Dolly, coolly. "David needn't
think he can buy mo with a new set of
buildings r she added, mentally, snap
ping down the lid of the pug-nosed tea
pot. "I never did have the name of
being croping."
"I tell you, Dolly, I won't have
Martha! I don't like her turn!" cried
Mr. Wiggin, testily balancing himself
on tho threshold, yet not daring to step
over it.
Miss Dolly gave her undivided atten
tion to wringing the hearth."
"You know you was always the
woman of my choice, Dolly," pursued
Mr. Wiggin, as tenderly as he could
consistently with the distance between
" And when we were both young "
" Pshaw I" 'snapped Dolly, scorching
her wing, "that's beyond the memory
of man."
Mr. Wiggin's position was becoming
Eainful. Miss Dolly was not to be won
y the attractions of wealth and po
sition, nor even by tender allusions of
the past. He would appeal to her kind
ness of heart.
" I used to believe you had some feel
ing, Dolly," said he, tremulously : " but
you don't seem to have any for me,
Here I am left alone in the world ;
children all paired off, 'thout s Matilda,
and she'll go before the snow flies;
house empty .
" I suppose you can have a home with
any of your boys, and welcome," put in
Miss Dolly, still fluttering about the
chimney like a swallow.
" Yes, if it comes to worst, I suppose I
can, assented Mr. Wiggin, mournfully,
anything but consoled by this reflection.
" It would break me up terribly, though,
you may depend, to give up my place
that I set so much by and crowd on my
children.
No respond save the clattering of the
tongs.
"And it's dreadful melancholy busi
ness for a man at my time of life to drag
along without a partner. I'm getting
too old, Dolly," and Mr. Wiggin brushed
his sleeve across hia eyes as a ferruled
schoolboy might have done. " Yes, I'm
getting to be old, Dolly, and it stands
to reason that I haven't many years to
live ; but I did hope that we might go
down hill together, Dolly, you ehirpin'
me up with that spry way of your'n that
I always took to, and I carryn' the heft
or
nere Miss Dolly gave a little sniff,
nothing worth mentioning only for the
enect it produced on Mr. W lggin.
"Can't you make up your mind to have
me, Miss Dolly ?" pleaded Mr. Wiggin,
" I don't see how I am going to stand it
if you can t. '
" Then Miss Martha wouldn't suit,"
said Miss Dolly, archly. "What
shame now, when she needs property
so much I
. "Hang the property? I'd mortgage
the whole of it rather than not get you !
cried Mr. Wiggin, with a vehemence
that quite closed her mouth.
And so at last he had Miss Dolly.
Mrs. Millas, whose beautiful faoe has
become familiar through the picture of
the "Huguenot Lovers" was one of the
Grey sisters of Perth, who were com.
monly called the "fair maids of Perth.1'
bhe was a slender, blonde-haired girl
but is now described as fat, fair and
forty, the mother of grown daughters.
It is estimated that 75,000 women in
the bity New lork support them
selves ami niauyof them their ffimilie
ihon own exertions.
The Telegraph In Arctic Exploration.
It is suffErested bv Mr. James Gamble.
general superintendent Western Union
Telegraph Company at San Francisco,
that profitable use might be made of
the electric telegraph in Arctic explora
tion. His plan would be to use light
steel wire say No. 20 gauge weighing
about twenty pounds to the mile. The
wire, coiled on reels, could be hauled
on sledges, either by men or dogs, over
the snow or ice, paying it out as the ad-
ance exploring party went along. By
this means the party would keep in con
stant communication with their base of
supplies. They would have no cause
for,un easiness about getting lost or be
yond the means of rescue, as they would
be able at any moment to call for aid.
With this feeling of the certainty of re
lief in case of accident, they would not
hesitate to push their explorations
to a distance far beyond what would be
considered safe in the absence of means
of telegraphic communication with the
main body. And should any accident
happen to the advance party of explo
rers, or should they require a further
quantity of supplies, the line of wire
would serve to guide those going to the
rescue straight, to the spot where the
explorers were camped. It would also
serve as a guide for their return, mate
rially lessening the chances of danger
to life and loss of the party. Having
established a base of supplies at some
central point, there would be nothing to
prevent several exploring parties being
sent out at the same time in different
directions, they reporting each night to
the central station the progress and
observations made during the 'day.
Directed in this way the practica
bility of one route over another
could, from the telegraphio reports
sent in, be determined upon, land
much time that would otherwise be
wasted in vain endeavors to make way
over barriers of ice, be saved. As hard
frozen ground, dry snow or ice is a per
fect insulator, no poles to string the
wire would be required. It could be
paid out on the snow or ice by the party
as they went along. The generally ac
cepted theory of those familiar with the
Arctic regions is that the ice is seldom
more than hve or six feet in thickness
so that by boring through it with a com
mon drill or through the frozen ground,
there would be no difficulty in obtain
ing a good ground connection to com-
Elete the electric current. It would not
e necessary to carry any battery mate
rial. One main battery at the central
station would be all that is required.
For a distance of 100 to 150 miles tel
ephones could be used, dispensing with
practical telegraph operators. Still, it
might be advisable to have some of the
party possessed of a practical knowledge
of telegraphy.
At twenty pounds to the mue 100
miles of wire would only weigh 2,000
pounds. It could be wound on reels in
size easy to handle. The cost of steel
wire of that guage is about twenty cents
a pound, so that the total expense, in
cluding cost of reels, winding, etc.,
would not exceed $1,000.
Louisiana Yellow Plue.
A correspondent of the Picayune,
says: "The building or railway lines
that will center at Alexandria is likely
to make this city a lumber manufactur
ing point. The pine section of the State
lies north of Alexandria in the parishes
of Grant, Winn, Jackson, Bienville, etc.;
while the Sabine Biver and its tributa
ries furnish outlets for floating logs to
Alexandria. Some parties from the
northwest who have ample capital are
now engaged in selecting public lands
along the Saline, preparatory to develop
ing the lumber trade and transferring
capital from Michigan to Louisiana. The
demand for lumber in the American
markets exceeds the supply. Prices have
a strong upward turn, and, unlike cotton,
there is no danger of an oversupply.
We wish these parties success in their
undertaking.
Jay Gould and associates are running
a trial line for a road from Alexandria
northward via Monroe. A trial line is
also being surveyed under the same
management from Camden, Ark., direct
to Alexandria. The surveyors on the
latter line entered the State near the
northwest corner of Union parish. The
line passes near Vernon, in Jackson
parish, and from this point to Alexan
dria it will pass through a level, pine
section. Should the direct route from
Camden to Alexandria be adopted, nu
merous sawmills will spring up along
the line above Alexandria.
It Cured Uliu.
When I was a boy of about nine, a
servant of my father's put a pipe into
my mouth, assuring me that to smoke
would make a man of me. I puffed
away most vigorously, and perserved
till I became sick and" fell on the floor.
I have never smoked since. In much
the same way I waa cured of hero wor
ship. When I was a college youth I
ventured one day to' call on a man of
some eminence to whom I had been in
troduced. He received me with smiles
and co&pliments, and as I left his
presence I was ready to proclaim him the
most gentlemanly man I bad ever met
with ; but "after I went out I lingered at
the door a moment to determine whether
I should call on another great man
who lived near, and I overheard the
polite gentleman I had left call his ser
vant to administer to him the most
terrible scolding I had ever listened to
in my life for letting in that stupid, im-
Eudeiit stripling. This cured me of
ero worship and of interviewing great
men. Since that date I have at times
gone to & distinguished man's house
with letters of introduction, and turned
t the door for feur of what rnijzht come
SCIENTIFIC SOTES.
When in Africa M. d'Abaddie wit
nessed lightning without any thunder.
He contends that in this instance tho
ordinary explanations of so-called
" heat lightning " as the mere reflection
of a storm below the horizon is not ap
plicable, because it was a thin fog occu
pying a narrow valley which was sud
denly illuminated by sheet lightning.
Sir William Armstrong, at Craigside,
near Newer "tie, England, has utilized a
brook to ruii a dynamo-electric machind
by means of a turbine water-wheel, and
so manages to secure electricity enough
to keep thirty-seven Swan lamps in a
state of incandescence in his house. In
this case the motive power costs noth
ing, and electric lighting in this way is
an exceptienal luxury.
Color-blindness as a cause of disasters
is now tolerably well recognized by
those intrusted with the safety of pas
sengers on land or by water. Sounds,
however, as well as colors, are employed
as signals, and the inability to distin
guish the former may Tirovo as fatal as
a lack of sensibility to the latter. Some
times, too, persons, having, excellent
eyes have very poor ears, and the con
trary is also true. But perhaps the
gravest source of catastrophes, espe
cially in railroad travel, is the tendency
of engineers to what may be called ab
sence of mind, especially when those
men manage their locomotives for
months and years over the same monot
onous track.
Long ago it was customary for the
men employed at railway stations to
convert unoccupied spaces of ground
near the stations into flower beds. The
taste and skill displayed incited people
in the neighborhood to try what they
also might do with the unsightly and
unused pieces of rocky ground near
their dwellings. In a short time the
country all round the stations under
went a sort of transformation, and a
study of botany, in which book knowl
edge and actual practice went band in
hand, was greatly promoted. In other
countries likewise on a few of the great
lines of railroad there are some stations
that present magnificent displays of
floriculture, which are a grateful relief
to the eye of the weary traveler and a
source of elevating enjoyment to those
who produced them.
Importance of Thoroughness.
One of the most useful lessons a boy
can learn, whether on the farm or else
where, is to do well whatever he under
takes. There is a growing tendency in
all departments of labor to slight tho
work, to get along with as little manual
labor as possible. Every progressive
person welcomes the substitution of the
use of machinery whenever it is possi
ble for human labor, but whenever
manual labor must be employed we
would insist upon its being well done.
We would also insist upon any machine
used to facilitate work being so adjusted
as to be the best of its kind, and capable
of being run with the smallest possible
expenditure of power.
Aids in farm work are seldom auto
matic ; the use of animals, or of machi
nery, demands individual thought, skill
and careful attention to detail, iven
in the employment of a horse or an ox
it is important that the teamster or
plowman should so drive the team or
attach it to the plow that the power
shall be economized to the best advan
tage. Careless indifference is an offset
to the best mechanical appliance. The
economio value of cart or wagon may be
lessened materially by neglect in oiling
the axles. In a hundred ways may
careful thought and study add to the
power of team or machine.
It is never too early m the life oi a
bov to form habits of care-taking and
thoroughness. There is an enormous sur
plus power stored in the strong, active,
healthy boy, and if directed in propor
channels it is capableof becoming an enl
cient force on the farm. A reckless boy
will almost certainly become a reckless
man. Caution and thoughful considera
tion of matters in hand increase by cul
tivation, hence the importance of incul
cating correct principles in the youth
ful mind.
The practical education of a boy were
better conhnod to a lew subjects,
thoroughly mastered, than a superficial
knowledge of a multitude of facts. To
do a few things well is of more import
ance to youth or man than to perform
all work slightingly. Proper attention
to little things, a place tor everything
and everything in its place, are impor
tant items in farm economy. Many
boys and hired men have a provoking
wav of carelessly throwing down tools
and implements where last used, and
when subsequently wanted not knowing
or remembering where to look lortnem
Beside tho damage to the tools from ex
posure, the loss of time in hunting them
up is very considerable.
Not Ills Handwriting.
"Sir," said a fierce lawyer to a wit
ness, "do you, on your solemn oath,
declare that this is not your handwrit
ing?" "I think not," was the cold reply.
"Does it resemble your handwriting?"
"Yes, sir, I think it don't."
"Do you swear that it don't resemble
your handwriting?"
" Well, I do."
"You take a solemn oath that this
writing does not resemble yours in a
single letter ?"
"Ye-e-e-s, sir,"
"Now how do you know ?"
"Cause I can't and never could write."
Spell
SO I -
pea
p
soup with three letters
Advertise.
Te men of business, step tlu'a wy, :
riease notice what I have to say;
'Tis simply this I would advise: '
Do not forgot to advertise.
The efforts of an honest man,'
When made according to this plan,
Can scarcely fail success to Tuir
And wealth will lie a cortin thing.
How is it with the stingy ku !'
Desirous all his cash to save;
lie gains no woaith, and wins no prizo,
Because he does not advertise.
Suppose the cost soems rather high,
Twill surely pay yon by and by,
And all the world will soon dospise
Tho man who does not advertise.
V'l. y should yon wait ? It will not p ;
So send your orders right away
Straight to this sheet, whero friendly eyes
Await to see you advertise.
Tlus sheet, my friends, is just the thing;
Success it cannot fail to bring.
If you would bo admitted wise,
In this sheet's columns advertise 1
HUMOROUS.
Accofding to the Waterloo QUeirnr
love ia so heavy that it sometimes break
down the gate. .
At this season of the year most
lit
every man on his way to trie barber
shop is looking for a short cue
"'Tis the last rows of summer,'' as
the farmer said, when he finished plow
ing his corn. New York Disatcph.
Astronomer Proctor says the world
will last 50,000,000 years yet. That
will do. Any man who demands more
is a hog.
Medical men say no benefit ia derived
from seasickness. It will continue to
be fashionable, however. Xeio Orleans
Picayune.
Two or three hairs properly arranged
on a plate of butter will save it longer
and make it go farther than eight pounds
of oleomargarine. Bingliamton Repub
lican. It takes 800 full-blown roses to make
a tablespoonful of perfume, while ten
cents' worth of cooked onions will scent
a whole neighborhood. Detroit Free
Press. .
" I think the gooao has the advantage
of you," said the landlady to an inex
pert boarder who was carving. " Gutss
he has mum in age," was the wither
ing retort. '
The little ones will keep on saying
things. Six-year-old Mabel is industri
ously engaged m "cleaning out" a pre
serve jar which her mother had just
emptied. Four-year-old Bobby looks
at her for a while and then blurts out:
" Say, sis don't you wish yon could turn
it inside out, so's you could lick it?"
"Yon Bit on your horea like a
butcher," said a pert young officer, who
happened to bo of royal blood, to a
yeteran general, who was somewhat
bent from age. " It is highly probable,"
responded the old warrior, with a grim
smile, "it is because all my life I've
been leading young calves to tho
slaughter."
Now whoa ! my gallant bicycle I
My nickle-platod steed I
Thou'rt cleaner than an icicle, , "
Thou art of noble breed 1
They talk of Foxhall, Iroquois,
And Luke, tho Blackburn nag;
It's stale and ancient stutT, my toy,
A jockey's maudlin gag.
Now fly, my gallant glitterer ! .
No spoke of thine be socu I
We'll bee who shall be twitterer
When halts my oourser keen 1
Louixcille Courier-Journal.
Woodcock Telegraphy, . . .
On a number of occasions I have
closely observed the woodcock's sys
tem of telegraphy. The bird's mandi
bles are furnished with extremely sensi
tive, nerves, so arranged that when tho
point of the bill rests upon the ground
the slightest sounds are conveyed to its
brain. Standing upon the water-saturated
earth of a spouty bog, our bird
utters a faint, keen cry, scarcely audible
at two rods' distance, then immediately
lets fall his head till the tip of his bill
touches the ground, and listens atten
tively. If his mate hears him she
replies, puts her bill on the ground, and
listens in turn. ' So the love messages
go boek and forth as long as the birds
have anything to say. This sort of
thing usually happens in the soft . twi
lights from May to the middle of August,
though occasionally I have seen and
heard it in the broad light of a summer
day. In June, 18G8, I made tho follow
ing note : "To-day sketched a wood
cock iu the listening attitude. Shall
try to get further btudies."
Five years later I succeeded in getting
three more sketches andUst year (1SH0)
I got four more. Many of. these and
kiDdred sketches have been obtained at
the end of indescribable care and labor
The woodcock is so shy, so attentive, so
sensitive, tliat the leatt sound will cause
it to skulk and hide a thing it does
with even greater cunning and success
than the quail. The only way in which
I have been able to get near enough to
the bird to sketch its natural attitado
has been to crawl on the wet ground
through tangled weeds and shrubs until
I reached a hiding place on the border
of its feeding range, and there patiently
and silently watch for its coming. This
I havedone over and over again for days
together before getting fight of tU
bird. ( hicago Tribune.
' Tho Boston Courier thinks ti
deutU will be aVltf to pvll. Mir.
hfe all ri'-rLt.