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VOL. XIV. NO. 19. TIONESTA, PA., AUG. 3, 1881.
$1.50 Per Annum.
What Is Famo ,
Fame? Is it tovisit Europe,1"-.
Study art ft while in Homo,
Paint, perhaps, a dozen picturoA,
Oct your name np and come homo ;
Then to liave the neighbors ask you ,
When they see- your masterpiece,
" Does tho knaok of painting pictures
Take much time and olbow grease ?"
And is it to write a poem
Glowing with poetic lire, "
Full of passion, and tho longing
After something better, higher,. ..,
Some time read it to tho neighbors, .
And then, feeling like a fool,
Hero one nay, "I wroto such verse
Very often Whilo in school."
Fame ? It is to keep on painting,
Keep on writing if inclined, .
Till tho world that lies beyond you
Your position has defined.
Is it labor, till your pictures
Are exchanged for so much gold ;
Till your poems, liko potatoos,
In tho market can bo sold.
After you have climbed the ladder,
From tho lowust round,
Then tho neighbors pat your shoulder,
And your fullsomo praises sound.
After having, with your talent,
Learned the money-making art,
Then they say, 1 ' We always loved you ;
Always said that you were smart."
Paul Carton.
DOLLY'S DESTINY.
" I shouldn't be surprised any day,
Dolly, to see David Wiggin tying Lis
horse at your gate," said Mr. Blount,
roguishly, gathering tip the reins.
"Nonsense, brother I Anything the
matter with his own hitching-post ?" re
torted Miss Dolly, turning in the door
way. Mr. Blount laughed. Everybody felt
bound to laugh at Miss Dolly's crisp
payings that had kept her friends in gooil
humor those forty years.
" And when David does call on you,"
pursued Mr. Blount, more seriously,
" I do hope, Dolly, you'll give him a
chance to do his errand. That'll be no
more than fair, and the man won't be
easy until he has freed Iub mind."
What mischief are you the forerun
ner of now, James Blount?" cried Mis
Dolly, facing about like a soldier on
drill. " What upon earth have I to do
with David's errands ?"
" Well, his wife has been dead a year
or more," said Mr. Blount, suggestively,
shutting one eye and squinting with
the other down the length of his whip
stalk, "and lately he has been asking
about you. You can put that and that
together to suit yourself."
" Fiddlestick !' said Miss Dolly, ener
getically. " I shan't say have him or don't have
him though tnero isn't a likelier man
living than David but I do say, Dolly,
von ought to give him a hearing," and
having convinced himself beyond a rea
sonable doubt that the whip was right,
Mr. Blount tickled his sleepy horse with
it and drove away.
" Oh, my sorrows 1" ejaculated Miss
Dolly, closing the door with an afflicted
couutenance, and sitting down so quiet
ly for once that a photographer might
have copied her then and there. Not
that he could have done her justice, for
her expression was too quick and varied
to be caught by any trick of chemicals,
and without it Miss Dolly's physiogno
my would have been rather character
less but for her llonian nose. This
organ gave tone to her face. By which
I would not be understood literally as
saying that she talked through a nasal
whine. I mean simply in a metaphori
cal sense this bold feature spoke loudly
of energy. And Miss Dolly had abun
- dant need of energy else why the
nose? Every two years during her
childhood she had been tiptoed into the
east bedroom to see a new baby, till, at
her mother's death, five little brothers
fell to her charge to be coaxed and
scolded into manhood.
"You can't bring up those boys,"
groaned a dolorous aunt. " They'll run
square over you, Doithy Almeda."
"Let them run over me so long as it
does not hurt 'em !" laughed Miss Dolly,
bkewing her flaxen hair with a goose
quill and tying a calico apron over her
calico longskirt, preparatory to "bring
ing up" said youths.
From that day forward she went
cheerily on, making the best of every
thing, though it must be confessed she
often had odds and ends to work with,
as those do have who are born witn a
faculty. Somehow she found time for
all her duties except matrimony. If
that were a duty, it was one she wouldn't
und couldn't attend to whilo her father
and the children needed her. Divers
young men thought this a great pity,
among them Wiggin. "Don't be silly
David 1" said Dolly, when he hinted as
much to her ; whereupon David went off
and married Olive Searle, the plainest
girl in the parish.
This happened twenty years ago, and
David was again wifeless, ana again
tho current of his thoughts turned to
. ward Dollv. who still lived at the old
homestead at the foot of Bryant's Falls.
Her father had died some months be
fore. Of the boys James and Ezekie
had settled on neighboring farms, and
the remaining three had gone AY est,
David's benevolent heart warmed with
compassion as he remembered Dolly's
lonely condition, and he felt that it
would bo exceedingly kind in him to
oiler her a home, especially as he owned
as good a place as you'd find on the
river, while the Blount cottage was fall
ing into decay. He wouldn't let her
f irmer refntd (ell againNt her, for as he
looked back he couldn't really see how
she could have married any one at that
period. She ought to be rewarded for
the devotion she had shown to tho
family; and, for his part, ho felt mag
nanimous enough to give her a second
chance to accept him. Such was the
worthy widower s state of mind when
he asked James Blount, with mock
humility, whether it would be of any
use for bim to try and make a bargain
with Dolly.
" That's more than I can tell," Mr.
Blount had answered. " Dolly's a puz
zle, you'll have to find her out yourself."
Mr. Wiggin smiled in complacent an
ticipation of acceptance, indeed, if it
might not seem like reproach to the
memory of his lost Olive, I should say
the kind-hearted man rejoiced in this
opportunity of making Miss Dolly's
happiness. Benevolence was in his
face, benevolence was in his spirit, as
he sallied forth at an early day to ac
quaint her with her good fortune. The
broken harrow which he had strapped
into his wagon to give the neighbors
as a plausible one for his trip to the
falls, was by no means typical of men
tal laceration to its owner. His feeling
as he approached Miss Dolly's moss
grown cottage was purely ono of thank
fulness that it was in his power to pro
vido her a better home. Not that be
was grateful to his dead wife for leav
ing a vacancy there. Air. Wiggin naci
mourned faithfully for Olive a year and
a day.
Miss Dolly was out in the garden
gathering catnip. She had built a chip
lire under the tea-kettle and tlien
whisked off to pick an armful of the
pungent, leaves' while the water was
boiling. There she was, stooping
beneath the eaves of a log-cabin, wearing
a big sunbonnet, and humming a lively
tune, when Mr. lggin drove up.
"Come, my love, haato away,"
piped Miss Dolly, cheerily, snapping
away briskly at the stalks.
" Cut short the hours of thy delay,
Fly liko a youthful"
" 'Fly like a youthful ' " struck iu a
wheezy bass.
The sunbonnet tipped back like
cartbody.
" Sakes alive 1 " cried Miss Dolly, not
in the words of the hymn, as Mr. lg
gin strode toward her on his slightly
rheumatic legs.
" I didn't mean to put you out," he
laughed, shaking hands heartily : "but
it seemed kind 'o nateral to take part
with you in 'Invitation.'
" You always had a way of falling in at
the most unheard of time, 1 remeiu
bered," retorted Miss Dolly, saucily,
recovering herself and going on gather
ing catnip.
" You used to say I kept good time,
only too much of it, pursued Mr. Wig
gin with a sudden inspiration ; "but
tell vou what, Dolly, .time never did
drag with me more than it does these
days."
" It is a dull season," said Miss Dolly,
with exasperating- simplicity. " I sup
pose the grasshoppers havo eaten most
of your wheat haven't thev so it'll
hardly pay for reaping?"
"Just so," asserted Mr. Wiggin, dis
comiitod. He had not traveled five
miles in the heat to discuss tho state of
the crops. .
" W alk in and sit down, won t you ?
said Dolly, with reluctant hospitality,
Her apron was crammed to its utmost
capacity. She devoutly wished it had
been larger.
Well, yes, I don t care if I do, an
swered Mr. Wiggin, after a hypocritical
show of hesitancy. " I had a little bust
ness further on at the blacksmith's. No
hurry, though, as I know of," and he
turned to let down the bars for Miss
Dolly, w ho meanwhile slipped through
tne lence, catnip ana an. " liiess my
heart I I don t see but you are as smart
as you ever was, said he, admiringly,
as he puffed along in her wake. "Still
you must get into years, Dolly, as well
as 1 no ollense, 1 nope ana 1 was
wondering whether or no it wasn't lone
some fcr you to live alone here a woman
so?"
' Oh, I never was one of the lonesome
kind," responded Miss Dolly, briskly,
seating her guest in the patchwork
cushioned rocking-chair, "and, for that
matter, hardly a day passes without
some of James' folks running in."
" Yes, I know ; but if you was to
change your situation wouldn't you en
joy life bettor, think ?"
Miss Dolly fidgeted at the green paper
curtains and intimated that her happi
ness would be complete if the grass
hoppers would stop feeding on her
garden sauce.
" That's just it" continued Mr. Wig
gin, eagerly ; " you seem to need a man
to look out for your farming interests,
now don't you, Dolly ! a man that
will be ready and willing to do for you,
and make you comfortable ?"
"I don't know," said Miss Dolly,
dryly. "The year father died I did
have Silas Potter, and he is the most
faithful creature living ; but what with
the extra cooking and washing I had to
do for him my work was about double,
and when mud-time came I was glad
enough to send him off and hire by the
day. I made up my mind that men
folks cost more than they come to."
"I guess we dont understand one
another, Dolly," said Mr. Wiggin,
slightly disconcerted at this unflatter
ing view of his sex. ' I wasn't speak
ing of hiring help, Dolly. Naturally
you would get tired of that. It's wor
ryin' to a woman. But if you was to
have a compauion now one that could
give you a good home, with wood and
water under cover "
" Shoo ! shoo 1" cried Miss Dolly,
flying out after an inquiring chicken on
the doorstep.
Mr. Wiggin drew his red handker
chief from his hat to wipe his glowing
face. Certainly he had not felt the
heat so bad through haying.
"Hows your health nowadays t
asked Dolly, frisking back with a look
of resolute unconsciousness.
'Very good: remarkably good! I
don't know where vou will find a man
with a tougher constitution than I have
got.'
Ah!" and Dolly blushed like a
sumac in October.
"Yes, I'm well," pursued Mr. Wig
gin, persevcnngly, "ana im tolerable
well-to-do, with nothing to hinder my
marrying again, provided I can Bee a
woman to my mind."
" J. here 8 the deacon s widow, sug
gested Miss Dolly, officiously; "she's
pious, economical
" ones left with means enough to carry
her through handsomely," interrupted
Mr. Wiggin, quickly. " Now, I d rather
have a wife to provide for one that
needed a home. In fact, Dolly, I have
my eye on a little woman I want this
minute."
He had both eyes on her for that
matter, and Miss Dolly was forced to
recognize the situation, whether she ac
cepted it or not."
1 ve managed to sweeten my tea so
far, David, without calling upon my
neighbors," chirruped she, stooping to
lay straight the braided mat, "and I
might as well keep on. I don't feel it
a t ax as some people would. But there's
Martha Dunning, she s having a hard
time to get along. Why don't you take
her, David ? She'd appreciate such a
ice home as yours."
" It would seem as if most any woman
might," said Mr. WTiggin, in an injured
tone; " all finished off complete, painted
outside and in '
"She'd be delighted with it, I'm sure
of it," broke in Miss Dolly, with an air
of conviction, as she darted into the
kitchen to lift the boiling kettle from
the crane.
" But you don't mean that you won't
marry me, Dolly, pleaded JUr. Wiggin,
anxiously following her to the door.
1 have been dotm on seem you at
the head of things at my house."
" Martha is a grand manager, said
Miss Dolly, coolly. "David needn't
think he can buy mo with a new set of
buildings I she added, mentally,, snap
ping down the lid of the pug-nosed tea
pot. " 1 never did have the name of
being croping."
"I tell you, Dolly, I won't have
Martha; I don't like her turn !" cried
Mr. Wiggin, testily balancing himself
on the threshold, yet not daring to step
over it.
Miss Dolly gave her undivided atten
tion to wringing the hearth.
"You know you was always the
woman of my choice, Dolly," pursued
Mr. Wiggin, as tenderly as he could
consistently with the distance between
"And when we were both young "
" Pshaw 1" 'snapped Dolly, scorching
her wing, "that's beyond tho memory
of man."
Mr. Wiggin's position was becoming
painful. Miss Dolly was not to be won
by the attractions of wealth and po
sition, nor even by tender allusions of
the past. He would appeal to her kind
ness of heart.
" I used to believe you had some feel
ing, Dolly," 6aid he, tremulously ; " but
you dont seem to have any for me,
Here I am left alone in the world ;
children all paired off, thout s Matilda,
and she'll go before the snow flies;
house empty
" I suppose you can have a home with
any of your boys, and welcome," put in
Miss Dolly, still fluttering about the
chimney like a swallow.
" Yes, if it comes to worst, I suppose I
can, assented Mr. Wiggin, mournfully,
anything but consoled by this reflection.
" It would break me up terribly, though,
you may depend, to give up my place
that l set so mucn by ana crowd on my
children.
No respond save the clattering of the
tongs.
"And it's dreadful melancholy busi
ness for a man at my time of life to drag
along without a partner. I'm getting
too old, Dolly," and Mr. Wiggin brushed
his sleeve across hia eyes as a fermled
schoolboy might have done. " Yes, I'm
getting to be old, Dolly, and it stands
to reason that I haven't many years to
live ; but I did hope that we might go
down hill together, Dolly, you ehirpin'
me up with that spry way of your'n that
1 always took to, and 1 carvyn tlio heft
of
Here Miss Dolly gave a little sniff,
nothing worth mentioning only for the
ellect it produced on JUr. W lggin.
"Can't you make up your mind to have
me, Miss Dolly f pleaded Mr. w lggin,
" I don't see how I am going to stand it
if you,can t.
" Then Miss Martha wouldn't suit,"
said Miss Dolly, archly. "What a
shame now, when 6he needs property
so much I "
"Hang the property? I'd mortgage
the whole of it rather than not get you 1 "
cried Mr. Wiggin, with a . vehemence
that quite closed her month.
And so at last he had Miss Dolly.
Mrs. Millas, whose beautiful face has
become familiar through the picture of
the "Huguenot Lovers" was one of the
Grey sisters of Perth, who were com
monly called the "fair maids of Perth.1'
She was a slender, blonde-haired girl,
but is now described as fat, fair and
forty, the mother of grown daughters.
It is estimated that 75,000 women in
the bitj New York support them
selvesand many of them their families
hv their own eiertions.
The Telegraph In Arctic Exploration,
It is suggested by Mr. James Gamble,
general superintendent Western Union
Telegraph Company at San Francisco,
that profitable use might be made of
the electric telegraph in Arctic explora
tion, nis plan would be to use light
steel wire say No. 20 gauge weighing
about twenty pounds to the mile. The
wire, coiled on reels, could be hauled
on sledges, either by men or dogs, over
the snow or ice, paying it out as tho ad
vance exploring party went along. By
this means the party would keep in con
stant communication with their base of
supplies. They would have no cause
for,un easiness about getting lost or be
yond the means of rescue, as they would
be able at any moment to call for aid.
With this feeling of the certainty of re
lief in case of accident, they would not
hesitate to push their explorations
to a distance far beyond what would be
considered safe in the absence of means
of telegraphic communication with the
main body. And should any accident
happen to the advance party of explo
rers, or should they require a further
quantity of supplies, tho line of wire
would serve to guide those going to the
rescue straight, to the spot where the
explorers were camped. It would also
serve as a guide for their return, mate
rially lessening the chances of danger
to life and loss of the party. Having
established a base of supplies at some
central point, there would be nothing to
prevent several exploring parties being
sent out at the same time in different
directions, they reporting each night to
the central station the progress and
observations made during the day.
Directed in this way the practica
bility of one route over another
could, from the telegraphio reports
sent in, be determined upon, and
much time that would otherwise be
wasted in vain endeavors to make way
over barriers of ice, be saved. As hard
frozen ground, dry snow or ice is a per
fect insulator, no poles to string the
wire would be required. It cotdd be
paid out on the snow or ice by the party
as they went along. The generally ac
cepted theory of those familiar with the
Arctic regions is that the ice is seldom
more than five or six feet in thickness,
so that by boring through it with a com
mon drill or through the frozen ground,
there would be no diihculty in obtain
ing a good ground connection to com
plete the electric current. It would not
be necessary to carry any battery mate
rial. One main battery at the central
station would be all that is required
For a distance of 100 to 150 miles tel
ephones could be used, dispensing with
practical telegraph operators. Still, it
might be advisable to have some of the
party possessed of a practical knowledge
of telegraphy.
At twenty pounds to the mile 100
miles of wire would only weigh 2,000
pounds. It could be wound on reels in
size easy to nandic. The cost ot steel
wire of that guage is about twenty cents
a pound, so that the total expense, in
cluding cost of reels, winding, etc.,
would not exceed 1,000.
Louisiana Yellow Pine.
A correspondent of the Picayune,
says: " lne building oi railway lines
that will center at Alexandria is likely
to make this city a lumber manufactur-,
ing point. The pine section of the State
lies north of Alexandria in the parishes
of Grant, W inn, Jackson, Bienville, etc.;
while the Sabine Eiver and its tributa
ries furnish outlets for floating logs to
Alexandria. Some iiarties from tho
northwest who have ample capital are
now engaged in selecting public lands
along the Saline, preparatory to develop
ing the lumber trade and transferring
capital from Michigan to Louisiana. The
demand for lumber in the American
markets exceeds the supply. Prices have
a strong upward turn, and, unlike cotton,
there is no daDger of an oversupply.
We wish these parties success in their
undertaking.
Jay Gould and associates are running
a trial line for a road from Alexandria
northward via Monroe. A trial line is
also being surveyed under tho same
management from Camden, Ark., direct
to Alexandria. The surveyors on the
latter line entered the State near the
northwest corner of Union parish. Tho
line passes near Vernon, in Jackson
parish, and from this point to Alexan
dria it will pass through a level, pine
section. Should the direct route from
Camden to Alexandria be adopted, nu
merous sawmills will spring up along
the line above Alexandria.
It Cured lllm.
When I was a boy of about nine, a
servant of my father's put a pipe into
my mouth, assuring me that to smoke
would make a man oi me. i pulled
away most vigorously, and perserved
till I became sick and fell on the floor.
I have never smoked since. In much
the same way I was cured of hero wor
ship. When I was a college youth I
ventured one day to' call on a man of
some eminence to whom I had been in
troduced. He received me with smiles
and compliments, and as I loft his
presence I was ready to proclaim him the
most gentlemanly man I had ever met
with ; but after I went out I lingered at
the door a moment to determine whether
I should call on another great man
who lived near, and I overheard the
polite gentleman I had left call his ser
vant to administer to him the most
terrible scolding I had ever listened to
in my life for letting in that stupid, im-
Eudent stripling. This cured me of
ero worship and of interviewing great
men. Since that date I have at times
gone to a distinguished man's house
with lotters of introduction, and turned
fit the door for fear of what m'ght c?me
SCIENTIFIC 50TES.
When in Africa M. d'Abaddie wit
nessed lightning without any thunder.
He contends that in this instance tho
ordinary explanations of so-called
" heat lightning " as the mere reflectior
of a storm below the horizon is not ap
plicable, because it was a thin fog occu
pying a narrow valley which was sud
denly illuminated by sheet lightning.
Sir WTilliam Armstrong, at Craigside,
near Newcastle, England, has utilized a
brook to run a dynamo-electric maehina
by means of a turbine water-wheel, and
so manages to secure electricity enough
to keen thirty-seven Swan lamps in a
state of incandescence in his house. In
this case the motive power costs noth
ing, and electric lighting in this way is
an exceptienal luxury.
Color-blindness as a cause of disasters
is now tolerably well recognized by
those intrusted with the safety of pas
sengers on land or by water. Sounds,
however, as well as colors, are employed
as signals, and the inability to distin
guish the former may prove as fatal as
a lack of sensibility to the latter. Some
times, too, persons, having, excellent
eyes have very poor ears, and the con
trary is also true. But perhaps the
gravest source of catastrophes, espe
cially in railroad travel, is the tendency
of engineers to what may be called ab
sence of mind, especially wnen tnose
men manage their locomotives for
months and years over the same monot
onous tfack.
Long ago it was customary for the
men employed at railway stations to
convert unoccupied spaces of ground
near th9 stations into flower beds. The
taste and skill displayed incited people
in the neighborhood to try what they
also might do with tho unsightly and
unused pieces of rocky ground near
their dwellings. In a short time the
country all round the stations under
went a sort of transformation, and a
study of botany, in which book knowl
edge and actual practice went hand in
hand, was greatly promoted. In other
countries likewise on a few of the great
lines of railroad there are some stations
that present magnificent displays of
floriculture, which are a grateful relief
to the eye of the weary traveler and a
source of elevating enjoyment to those
who produced them.
Importance of Thoroughness.
One of the most useful lessons a boy
can learn, w hethcr on the farm or else
whero, is to do well whatever he under
takes. There is a growing tendency in
all departments of labor to slight tho
work, to get along with as little manual
labor as possible. Every progressive
porson welcomes the substitution of tho
use oi maenmery wnenever is is possi
ble for human labor, but whenever
manual labor must bo employed we
would insist upon its being well done
WTo would also insist upon any machine
used to faoihtate work being so adjusted
as to bo the beat of its kind, and capable
of being run with the smallest possible
expenditure of power.
Aids in farm work are seldom auto
matic ; the use of auimals, or of machi
nery, demands individual tnougnt, skiii
and careful attention to detail, lwen
in the employment of a horse or an o
it is important that the teamster or
plowman should so drive the team or
attach it to the plow that the power
shall be economized to the best advan
tage. Careless indifference i3 an offset
to the best mechanical appliance. The
economic value of cart or wagon may be
lessened materially by neglect in oiling
the axles. In a hundred ways may
careful thought and study add to the
power of team or machine.
It is never too early in the life of
bov to form habits of care-taking and
thoroughness. There is an enormous sur
plus power stored in the strong, active,
healthy boy, and if directed in proper
channels it is capable of becoming an elh.
cient force on the farm. A reckless boy
will almost certainly become a reckless
man. Caution and thoughful considera
tion of matters in hand increase by cnl
tivation, hence the importance of incul
eating correct principles iu the youth
ful mind.
The practical education of a boy w'ere
better confined to a lew suujecis,
thoroughly mastered, than a superficial
knowledge of a multitude of facts. To
do a few things well is of more import
ance to youth or man than to perform
all work slightingly. Proper attention
to little things, a place for everything
and everything in its place, are impor
tant items in farm economy. Many
! boys and hired men have a provoking
way of carelessly throwing down tools
and implements where last used, and
when subsequently wanted not knowing
or remembering where to look fortheni.
Beside tho damage to the tools from ex
posure, the loss of time in hunting them
ui) is very considerable.
Xot His Handwriting.
"Sir," said a fierce lawyer to a wit
ness, "do you, on your solemn oath,
declare that this i not your handwrit
ing?" "I think not," was the cold reply.
"Does it resemble your handwriting ?"
"Yes, bir, I think it don't."
"Do you swear that it don't resemble
vour handwriting?"
" Well, I do."
"You take a solemn oath that this
writing does not resemble yours in a
single letter ?"
"Ye-e-e-s, sir,"
"Now how do you know ?"
"Clause I can't and never could write."
Spell pea soup with three letters
SOU pe toup.--? Trn"iipt
Advertise.
Yo men of business, step this way,
riease notice what I have to say;
'Tia simply this I would advise: "
Do not forget to advertise.
The efforts of an honest man,
When made according to this plan,
Can scarcely fail success to bring,
And wealth will bo a certain thing.
How is it with tho stingy knave t" .
Desirous all his cash to save;
He gains no wealth, and wins no prize,
Because ho does not advertise.
Suppose tho cost seems rather high,
Twill surely pay you by and by,
And all the world will soon (Wpise
Tho man who does not advertise.
VI. r should yon wait? It will not pay;
fcio M-nd your orders right away
Straight to this sheet, whero frieudly eyes
Await to seo you advertise.
Tlnsshcot, my friends, is just the thing;
Success it cannot fail to bring.
If you would bo admitted wise,
In this sheet's columns advertise 1
HUMOROUS.
Accofding to the Waterloo Observer
ove is so heavy that it sometimes break
down the gate.
At this season of the year most
every man on his way to ue baroer
shop is looking for a snort cm.
" 'Tis the last rowo of summer," ai
the farmer said, when he finished plow- '
ing his corn. New York Disatcph.
Astronomer Proctor says the world
will last 50,000,000 years yet. That
will do. Any man who demands more
is a hog.
Medical men say no benefit is derived
from seasickness. It will continue to
be fashionable, however. New Orleans
Picayune.
Two or three hairs properly arranged
on a plate of butter will save it longer
and make it go farther than eight pounds
of oleomargarine. Bingliamton Repub
lican. It takes 800 full-blown roses to make
table8poonful of perfume, while ten
cents' worth of cooked onions will scent
a whole neighborhood. Detroit Free
Press. .
" I think the gooso has the advantage
of you," said the landlady to an inex
pert boarder who was carving. " Gutss
he has mum in age," was the wither
ing retort.
The little ones will keep on saying
things. Six-year-old Mabel is industri
ously engaged in "cleaning out" a pre
serve jar which her mother had just
emptied. Four-year-old Bobby looks
at her for a while and then blurts out:
' Say, sis don't you wish you could turn
it inside out, so's you could lick it?"
"You sit on your horee like a
butcher," said a pert young oflieer, who
happened to bo of royal blood, to a
veteran general, who was somewhat
bent from age. " It is highly probable,"
responded the old warrior, with a grim
smile, "it is because all my life I've
been leading young calves to tho
slaughter."
Now whoa I my gallant bicycle 1
My nickle-platcd btced I
Thou'rt cleaner than an icicle, .
Thou ai t of noblo breed 1
They talk of Foxhall, Iroquois, '
And Luko, theldackbuin nag;
It'sstalo and ancient stutT, my toy,
A jockey's maudlin gag.
Now fly, my gallant glittercrl .
No spoke of thine bo soen I
We'll see who shall be tw ittorer
When halts my courser keen 1
Louisville Courier-Journal.
Woodcock Telegraphy, .
On a number of occasions I have
closely observed the woodcock's sys
tem of telegraphy. The bird's mandi
bles are furnished with extremely sensi
tive, nerves, so arranged that when tho
point of the bill rests upon the ground
the slightest sounds are conveyed to its
brain. Standing upon the water-saturated
earth of a spouty bog, our bird
utters a faint, keen cry, scarcely audible
at two rods' distance, then immediately
lets fall his head till the tip of hia bill
tonches the ground, and listens atten
tively. If his mate hears him she
replies, puts her bill on the ground, and
listens in turn. " So the love messages
go back and forth as long as the birds
have anything to say. This sort of
thing usnallv happens in the soft. twi
lights from May to the middle of August,
though occasionally 1 have seen ana
heard it in the broad light of a summer
day. In Jun, 1SCH, I made tho follow
ing note : "To-day sketched a wood
cock iu tho listening attitude. Shall
try to get further studies."
Five years later I succeeded in getting
three more sketches and last year (1880)
I got four more. Many of. these and
kindred sketches have been obtained at
the end of indescribable care and labor
The woodcock is so shy, so attentive, so
sensitive, that the leant sound will cause
it to skulk and hide a thing it does
with even greater cunning and success
than the quail. The only way in which
I have been able to get near enough to
tho bird to sketch its natural attitude
has been to crawl on the wot ground
through tangled weeds and shrubs until
I reached a hiding place on the bolder
of its feeding range, and there patiently
and silently watch for its coming, lhis
I have done over and over again for days
together before getting wght of the
b i id. ( h icngo Trib u ne.
The Boston Courier thinks that i'
deutibt will be abltf to pvll thro,,.
Ufa all right.