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VOL. XIV. NO. IG. TIONESTA, PA., JULY 13, 1881.
$1.50 Per Annum. .
Snmmcr Relfrns.
Bummer watohed from ths dintahoa
The blue-eyed Spring departing!
Softly trailing bohinil her robes of fainlott
groen;
Anil, smiling with wondrons brightneea,
Slie turned to hor three attendants,
Who were wearing a wreath of uube.imt with
whioh to crown hor queen.
3y reign," she said, right proudly,
"Will bring the whole earth treasure,
To greet me every song-bird will sing a sweeter
tunc; .
And, waving a Joyous wolcome,
The grans and the trees grow greener;
8o basto and make ready to Journey -with mr,
ray bonny June.
"July shall follow aftor, .
And then my flery August,
And each to do mo honor a wealth of flowers
must wear.
For J une swoot strawberry blossoms,
And clusters of pink wild roues,
Aud July will be docked with larkspurs and
' lilies wondrous fair.
" August shall find the asters,
And lovely ox-cyed daisies,
Beautiful, silken corn-plumos, and graceful,
foathery grass; ,
And I shall be gay in poppies,
And tulips of many colors,
And primrosos aatiny yellow shall follow as I
pasa."
Upon her rod-gold tresses
They placed the crown of sunbeams,
Hor train of gold and crimson by rose-wreathed
June was borne;
And July and dark-bowed Angust
Throwing farewell kisses after,
Queen Summer came to her kingdom led by
the blushing Mora I
Afaryartt Eylinge, in El,rich'$ Quarterly.
KITTY'S PREJUDICE.
Kitty Hoyt wa standing by the gat e,
ewiming her liiht, summer hat by one
string, and whittling lightly to hers. -If.
Ye, the truth runs be told Kitty was
just a little boidenish, much to the in
uovance of hor very dignified altogether
proper relatives.
Auut Prudence was wont to give hor
onr lectures by the dozen, on tiie
sinfulness of pirls who whittled, and
Kitty's disgusted brother Bob would
iverelv hint that
.ViiiHtling (rirl and crowing hen
jviw4jirv)m u-a-a? ena."
- Lectures and hints were all in rain,
and independent little Kitty whistled
when and where she pleased, for (he
didn't care a mite for other people's
ideas and opinions.
She looked very graceful and prttty,
ai she Btood by the gate in the gather
ing dusk. A low, white forehend,
aronnd which the clinging brown cnrls
clustered lovingly; a piquant, kissable
rosebud of a mouth, and a pair of laugh
ing, saucy brown eyes and that is Kitty
Hoyt.
"Hello, Kit!"
Kitty looked up with a little dimpling
smile and laugh, as she responded to
this salutation.
"Hello, Craig 1 where are yougoiniy
this evening ?"
Craig Langley, a tall, hanjome
young fellow of twenty-three, sauntered
slowly up, wafting a cloud of smoke
before him as a herald of his approach.
Kitty drew back, and elevated her
dainty rose in disgust.
" Cr jg Langley," she cried, sharply,
"I do uelieve you're the horridest
creature that ever lived I When will
yon learn not to smoke in the society
of ladies ? You know I can't bear the
smell of- a cigar, and I know you're
smoking now just to tease me 1"
Cruig laughed easily, watched a cloud
of smoke as it sailed around his curly
hoid, and then drawled, tantalizingly :
"Don't excite yourself, Kitty, my
child : it isn't good for your health,
though it makes you look decidedly
pretty. I believe you do it for effect."
Kitty stamped her tiny foot passion
ately. . " Craig Langley, you will drive me
crazy 1 If you don't take that cigar
out of your mouth this instant, you
must leave the premises ; so there ?"
With a comical look of mock repent
ance and terror on his handsome, laugh
ing face, Craig threw the cigar away,
saying, gravely:
" Thy will Bhall be law, my queen."
"Don't be a goose; you know I'm not
your queen, and never shall be. Come
now, that s a good boy," coaxingly,
" tell me all the news."
"News?" said Craig. "I did not
come to tell you any news; I came to
sie you, Kitty."
" Nonsense 1" said Kitty; "of course
yoa didn't come all this way just to see
me. You must surely have some news
forme. Tell it, please."
She was very fond of handsome, de
bonair Craig Langley, in a sisterly sort
of a way, but she had no idea of
going any farther into his affections,
and when he became too devoted she
always checked him with womanly tact.
"But I did come to see you," Craig
protested; "and I haven't any news;
unless, indeed, the fact that the new
schoolmaster has come, is news."
" Indeed, it is," said Kitty, looking
interested. " When did he come,
Craig, and what is his name, and
where's he going to Btay, and how does
he look, and "
Ci-aig placed both hands over his ears
aud cried: 4 Oh, K'tl do stop and have
mercy on me 1 One question at a time,
if you pie to Ue was an old college
ehnm of mine, and U ia truth the best
and noblest fellow ia tha world. His
name is Percy Smith, and"
" 1 know"! shall hate him," cried
Kitty, Econ fully, " if he's that pink of
perfect on whom y u were always prais
ing to the skies in your letters last year.
I can't bear goody-goody men."
"He isn't one of your goody-gody
men, whatever you mean by that," said
Craig, testily. . Craig always spoke well
of absent friends. 44 He's Oue of na
ture's noblemen, though poor, and he's
liked by everybody."
" I shan't like him I" said Kitty, per
versely. '
Craig did not dngn to notice the last
ontbnret, but went on. .
44 As for his looks, he's tall and very
good-looking, with golden hair and
golden mustache."
41 1 just despise Hondo men, '' inter
rupted Kitty, with curling lip.
44 Why, Kit I" cried Craig, in amaze
ment ho was a blonde himself look
ing rcproachfuly at our porversa hero
ine, 44 y, u told me yourself only a f w
dasagotha-. y. u admired the blonde
st - If of men very much."
Kitty's saucy brown eyes flashed.
44 Well, can't one change her mind if
she chooses ? " she asked, shortly. 44 1
don't admire that style pf beauty, any
way." There was a glorious silence on both
sides for several minutes. At last Craig
said, with an effort toward cheerfulness:
44 I'm sorry, Kit, that you're so preju
diced against Ptrcy. He certainly
doesn't deserve any ill-will from you. I
was hure you would be f j iends; he is to
board at your house, you know, and I'm
afraid it will be disagreeable for both
of 3 on, if yoa are to be enemies. Can't
you be friendly to him for my sake,
Kit V " pleadingly.
44 No, I can't I " impatiently.
Cruig looked hopelessly forlorn and
bewildered. He himself was a careless,
good-natured fellow, everybody's iriend,
and couldn't understand natures like
Kitty's. Consequently he took a philo
sophical view of the matter and gave it
up.
44 Well, Kit," he said. 44 you seem to
be in one of your tantrums this evening,
aud there's no use in trying to do any
thing with you. I'll drop in to-morrow,
to see if you feel any better. Good
night I" '
"Good night," said Kitty.
Oa tho following day Percy Smith
appeared and was duly installed as a
member of the Hoyt household. Even
Kitty could not help admitting to her
self that he was very handsome and
noble-looking.
His brow was broad, open and white,
and his deep blue eyes were as tender
as a woman's. In his sensitive lips,
sha-'ed by a drooping golden mustache,
there was no lack of firmness.
As Percy had said he was liked by
everybody, and he Boon came to be re
garded as a true friend of every one in
the family except Kitty, of course.
She was at all times cold and distant
toward iim, merely tendering him the
barest eivilities.
The young man wondered much at
her strange conduct; the more so as he
became much interested in the piquant,
pretty little lady from the very first. '
At the table she never looked at him,
and when spoken to responded in mon
osyllables only, and these were uttered
very reluctantly.
Percy Smith noticed it all, and a look
of wounded dignity and pride would
often cross his grave face.
44 She evidently does not like me," he
thought, with a nameless pain at his
heart.
He realized that this girl, who was so
cold and distant to him, and so merry
and saucy toward others, was very dear
to him.
44 She can never be anything to me,"'
ne said to Himself, ana l will not let
her see my weakness."
Several monotonous months passed
away.
Beautiful Angust had drifted into
September, and September had ripened
into October. Autumn was assuming
her gay robes of scarlet and crimson
and gold.
One lovely evening Percy Smith was
pacing the garden walk with thought
ful, abstracted countenance. lie was
roused from his reverie by the sound of
voices. Ilfrcy was just turning away
when he heard his own name, and in
voluntarily stopped.
He rocognized Craig's voice.
44 Well, Kit, haven't you and Percy
become friends yet?"
Percy strained his oars to catch the
answer.
How mocking and cruel it was, he
thought.
44 What a question, Craig ! You know
yourself that I seldom become friends
with those for whom I take a dislike. I
can't bear Percy Smith, and I don't
think I ever shall."
Percy felt faint and dizzy. It was all
as ho had expected, then! She de
spised him, while he he loved, her
better than all the world beside. lie
ciuicnea ai ine railing oi tne prank"'
wall for snpport, and reached his roonl)rairie down cellar where he hunts ln-
with weak and tottering steps. Oh,
what a weary, weary night it was !
Percy's constitution was not natur
ally a strong oue. He had lost father,
mother and a fortune the year before.
These misfortunes had left him so
weak that he was ready to succumb to
any additional ones.
He felt ill and faint all tho next day,
and it was with diillculty that he ac
complished his duties. Brain fever set
in, and for weeks Percy hovered over
the valley of the shadow of death.
Kitty, our willful, thoughtless Kitty,
nursed him through it all. Somehow
a wonderful change had come over
Kitty. She was merry and gay at times,
but a womanly seriousness could be
noticed which waa as charming as it was
new.
She began to feel that she did not
hate Percy Smith, after all. Indeed,
she rather liked him, she confessed to
herself.
The crisis of Percy's illness passed,
one day, while lying half asleep, he
felt warm tears fall on his face, and a
pair of tremulous lips touched the pale
forehead.
The white lids flew open and he be
heldKitty I She cast a frightened,
shamed look at him, and flew from the
room.
44 Oh, whs' ive I done ?" she thought.
" He'll thi e immodest and bold,
and I cai and that from from
him !"
And Percy ?
44 Then she does think a little of me
after all," he thought, while his pulses
thrilled with happiness.
From that day he improved rapidly
and in the golden Indian summer-time
he was able to go out into the fresh
invigorating air.
44 And you ore going away so soon ?"
there was a constrained, pained ring
in Kitty's voice, which she tried in
vain to make steady, and her face turned
pale.
They were standing on tho veranda -Percy
and Kitty.
44 Yes," said Percy, slowly; 44 shall
yon miss me just a little bit, Kitty ?"
Kitty's lips quivered, but she made
no reply. The next minute Percy had
drawn the blushing face upon his breast.
44 Oh, my darling," ho breathed, ten
derly, 44 1 was afraid you never could
learn to love me I You disliked me
once, you know. You do love me a li -tie
bit now?"
44 Not a little bit, but very, very
much, Percy," Kitty said, in a low
tone.
The next evening, when Craig came
around as usual, he said:
44 Well, Kit, have you any news for
me?"
Kitty laughed and blushed as she
said:
44 None, Craig, unless that about the
new schoolmaster is news."
44 Well, what is that about him ? Have
you had a hand-to-hand contest with
him, or what?"
44 No, indeed; but the hoirid cieature
has asked me to marry him I"
Craig opened wide his blue orbs, pie
tending to be much surprised.
44 And your answer was no, of courf-o r"
44 Of course it wasn't," said Kitty, de
cidedly. Craig gave a low whistle, and said,
compassionately:
44 Poor fellow ! his life will be a tor
ment to him," and then had to dodge
around to escape a box from Kitty's
dimpled fingers.
A Quiet Boarding House.
"I have come in answer to your adver
tisement for board," said a nervous old
lady to a pert miss of thirteen, as the
latter showed her into a parlor of all the
comforts of a home establishment on
Henry street. 44And I won't como here
unless your houee is perfectly quiot,
now remember that."
4 'Quiet I well, you may smile," replied
Miss. 44That noise you hear now is the
dentist in the basement, pulling out a
tooth, but he'll get it out,, if it takes
him a month. How much can you af-
i i m a
iora to pay t
T fliinlr T lioai srtTYia Ana ty-1
uniirs
shouting," said the old lady.
"That's only a young lawyer practic
ing a case. You'll get used to him.
Nobody liked it at first, but we've all
got used to it and don't mind it now.
Got any children ? We don't take chil
dren, because our babies fight 'em so."
"No, I haven't. Who's that yelling
in the next room ?"
"That's the landlord trying to collect
the rent. You know pa is very deaf,
and jou've got to howl at him. You'll
have to pav in advance if you come
here."
4 'Good gracious ! What's that?" ejac
ulated the old lady, as a furious din
swept through the lower regions.
4 'I guess the cook is driving giardma
out of the kitchen with tho clothe'e.polo.
She often does that. Have you got
much baggage ?"
"Sukes alive ! Somebody is being
murdered upstairs ! Who is it V"
"Oh I that's a literary fellow on the
top floor. Whenever he writes any
thing he squeals like a pig. But he
generally writes at night, and you
needn't pay ituy attention to him."
44 What artfyour terms ? good heaven,
the roof has fallen in I"
4,No, it hasn't ; that's a college pro
fessor, and that's the-way he goes up
and down stairs. If you listen you mny
hear him break his neck 1 Can you gve
any references ? Anybody know you V"
. l"t - i .1. - ...
-terwuuiy , n i was mat a gan f
i 4'I croess so. Mv cousin ha t
didns and buffaloes and things. Some
times he's a road agent, and then he
robs us on the stairs. We always allow
for it in the board, so it evens up. Got
any money of your ovn ?"
"Never mind whether I havo e not ;
I don't think I want a room heu, any
way. Let me out, please."
4 'Couldn't let you have one, anyhow;"
retorted miss, preparing to slide down
the balustrade. "There's only one
empty one, and that's too high-priced
for you ; besides, you dou't wear very
good clothes, and we prefer not to have
you around." And down the slide she
went with a whiz-, while the old lady
pattered off after another hcwie-bke
house. Brooklyn Eagla,
FOB THE LADIES. '
Drea.lna- the Hair.
A book that should give the full his
tory of the feminine headdress would
be a book full of interest. How many
long and patient researches its author
would have to make to give even a
glimpse of the thousands on thousands
of transformations that the natural
ornament of the human skull has un
dergone at the bidding of taste and of
caprice I
During the epoch o paganism the
priestess of Bacchus appeared in publio
with flowing tresses, while Diana and
her nymphs are represented as knotting
their hair on the top of their heads. The
coiffure of the anciont Greek ladies, as
also of the Roman dames, was of an ex
treme simplicity ; they parted the hair
on the top of the head and braided it in
long plaits falling down the shoulders.
Very often they made with those plaits
a twist behind the head, which was kept
in place by means of a bandelet. The
Roman ladies, whose slaves were counted
by thousands, employed many of these
solely in dressing their hair. Woe to
the slaves if the coiffure became dis
arranged 1 Patience was not one of the
virtues of the fashionable women of
those days. They diverted themselves
by thrusting long pincers into the flesh,
of their improvised hairdressers.
Even at that time the hairpin waa al
ready in use; for we know that Flavia,
by way of insulting the corpse of Cicero,
drew a hairpin from her locks and thrust
it through the tongue of the illustrious
orator, as though thus taking vengeance
for the sarcasms that tongue had hurled
at her. The use of hair powder was
also known, since Poppea, the second
wife of Nero, never allowed herself to
be seen by her lord and master until
she had first covered her locks with a
powder of gold.
During the middle ages fashion did
not get any further than the plaits and
bandeaux until the Crusaders left on
Oriental imprint on the art of hair
dressing. Toward 1660 a revolution
suddenly broke out among the ladies
who set the pattern of elegance. Curls
became the fashion and graciously
shaded the charming features of the Le
Vallieres, the Sevignes, the Maintenons,
the Ninon de l'Enclos and the other
beautieB who adorned the reign of Louis
XIV. A little later the pyramidal head
dresses came into vogue and grew to
ridiculous heights. So absurdly high
were they that ladies going to the ball
were forced to kneel down in their car
riages or to thrust their heads out of tho
windows. In caricature of the period
hairdressers on the way to the houses
of their patrons are represented as carry
ing ladders upon their backs.
The revolution of 1789 was a terrible
blow to the artirts of the profession,
ind the disuse of powder and of wigs
forced them to Bensibly modify their
art. . It was at this time that a hair
dresser named Michalon invented and
brought into fashion the practice of ex
hibiting different styles of headdresses
on the heads of the wax figures which
still ornament the windows of his uc
cessors. The reigns of Louis XVIII.,
Charles X. and Louis Philippe con
tributed nothing to the history of hair
dressing, except fashions that nowadays
would be considered eccentric.
With the advent of the Second Em
pire we enter the domain of modern
hairdressing. Felix Escolier, hairdress
er to the Empress Eugenie, composed
for the wedding of that sovereign a
coiffure consisting of two bandoaux in
front; the one in the Marie Stuart style,
the other rolled, beginning at the top
of the head and falling gracefully down
the neck in little curls. This dresser
of crowned heads was bofore everything
else an innovator. For many years he
created the new styles. His profes
sional brethren could not Bucceed in
imitating him, and they employed all
sorts of stratagems to discover his se
crets. One day as he was dvecsing the
hair of the wife of a great u.gnitarv of
the Empire he perceived one of these
rivals who, disguised as a valet, has
entered the shop to spy out the new
style, in order to employ it on the head
of one of his own clients. Felix, pre
tending not to see anything, dressed
mailf jJ's head in the most laughablo
t .id grotesane fashion that he could de
vise. As soon as his rival hud gone
away he undid all that ho had done and
constructed a scientific and novel coif
fare. As for the rival, he imitated with
implicit confidence what he had seen.
Filled with enthusiasm, he dressed the
hair of his client, a lady who was to
pass the evening at the Tuileries. Her
entrance into the imperial ballroom
a'as the signal for laughter and jests on
ill Bides. It was the ruin of the un
lucky hairdresser.
Kaablon Fauclc
Dotted mull scarfs are much worn.
Red parasols are striking novelties.
The fashionable parasol is very large.
There is a rage for tan-colored
gloves.
The obey is a novelty in rough
straw hats, i
All sieevl are half bhort and all
gloves very long.
Red abounds in summer dresses, hats
and bonnets.
Box-plaited and shirred corsages grow
in popularity.:
The obelisk hat has a tall, taperiDg
crown and a wide brim.
riain black grenadines, trimmed with
block laces, will be much worn.
Corsage bouquets of pure white
flowers aro the fancy of the passing
moment.
There is a decided tendency to male
t
I.
skirts fuller and " theii draperies more
bouffant. "
The wearing of a frill of lace around
the edge of the brim of hats .and bon
nets is revived.
Obelisk hats are trimmed profusely
around the crown with long, rich, heavy
ostrich plumes.
There is a revival of black aud white
striped silks for parts of costumes and
for underskirts."
Fancy bracelets and necklaces and
pins, mounted with insects and odd de
signs, are much worn.
Palo tinted mull muslins are us. much
worn as white and cream, and make
more dressy toilets.
White jonquils and stock gillyflower"
are worn for corsage bouquets by ladies
in second or half mournug.
New scrap bags are shaped like a
great tose, and triimed with acorns,
bows, and tails of many colors
Pale rose, blue, and cream white st a
side zephyr clo hs will be ag-in us d
for inexpensive and garden-party
dresses.
Chair stripes, sofa pillows, mantel
lambrequins, and tidies of blue satin,
worked in bright colors in silk and wool,
suit any kind of furniture.
Decorative needlework designs on
table scarfs, piano covers, curtains, val-a-
ces, tidies and mats i the favorite
fancy woj k of women of leisure for the
summer.
Pretty and easy fancy work for sum
mer afternoons is that done on linen
doylies or linen or momie cloth strips
and squares, in outline designs, stitches
with bi ight red or black or varicolored
Bilks. "
An eccentric faahiou is to put white
and blac' ostrich plumes on opposite
sides of t' e brim of a black chip hat,
separate I by a bow of white satin over
white Spanish lace, while the brim is
lined with wLite satin and white Span
ish lace frilled in and held down with a
row of large cut jet beads.
Striped goods are used by the best
dressmakers as trimming rather thxn to
form any important part of the dress.
They make the flounces, which are half
concealed by the G eek fret on tho
border of the overskirt, they form the
plaiting nbout the neck and sometimes
tbe cuff, but they do not moke tho dress
too gay. -
A Lover of the Period.
It was night in a Walnut street par
lor. Out of doors the wind moaned
and the sleet rattled, but within all
was warmth and cozy comfort. The
crimson upholstery glowed tranquilly
under the soft light of the argand, and
the flickeiing rays from , the ruddy
grate shaped many an elfin shadow on
the carpet and in the corners.
Two parties, male and female, were
sitting on one sofa.
The sofa was designed for that num
ber, but to-night there were, accident
ally, on one end of it nine volumes of
an encyclopedia.
Consequently the volumes were Bonie
what pressed for sitting room.
The occupants of the other endof the
sofa were Paul Flump and Miss More
McMinnywink.
Paul was saying: 44 Miss More, par
don my boldness, but I must speak.
Long ago you must have guessed tho
great feelings which which I feel for
you. Oh I cannot you return them
some of them, at least ? I I love you,
Idol"
44 Paul," she answered, softly,, but
firmly; 44 Paul, you must not talk bo 1
Forget if, I pray you. We are both
poor, and should have no fine house nor
pretty furniture, nor 6weet cairiage, nor
lovely dresses, and and all that. For
give me, Paul, but I must have all these
when I marry, and you cannot furnish
them."
44 Yes, I forgive you, I do I Fact
was, I -I was under a false impression:
I er thought you could supply us all
them ere thingi ! I forgive you 1"
Benefit of Quick Work.
The rapid worker has not time to get
disgusted with his work it is out of
his hands long before it grows weari
some. Di.sgu.st is tho product of duwi
ling effort. If the work be somewhat
varied, tho pleasure in connection with
its completion is varied too. Hence,
perhaps, the reason why the total and
sudden giving up of work is often at
tended with evil results. The transition
from a life full of activity and rich in
the enjoyment of successful labor, to a
life of utter idleness, with no snch vivid
enjoyment, has often proved fatal.
There is too little activity in the new
life, und too little of tho pleasuro of
activity. Idleness without the excite
ment "and pleasuro of work, becomes
depressing. The vital forces -drqop and
decay. On the other hand, to t her busy
worker rest and recreation have a
double relish. No holiday is so re
freshing as that in which he runs away
from his labors, and enjoys himself in
quite a different sense. If his life were
a succession of holidays, it would soon
grow bnrdensome.
During the lust year the Baptists in
creased 1C3.52I; the Methodists, 62,
620; the Lutherans, 10,2'23: the Epis
copalians, 20,846; the Presbyterians,
16.218. The Baptist gain, therefore,
was nearly double that of the other
four denominations combined. Tho
Methodists, North and South, however,
outnumber the Baptists.
Tellers of exaggerated stories are
known in business circles n yarn mer
Voices of the Xlpht.
' It was late last night when you retired 1"
'Yes, papa," I said, with a yawn
Bohinl my fan, 44 for the horrid man
He Jnst talked on and on.
The more I hintod the more ho stayed;
I knew yon wero wakeful, too,
And I told him so; Lut he would not go
And what conld a poor girl do ?"
41 It was vfry late whn yon riHrH "
44 Yea, papa 1" I frankly .aid,
41 For the man, yes see, just talked to me,
Thongh 1 yawnrxl till my ey wero red ;
And I wont go far, when tha clock struck twelve,
As Wt&nnt the'MlVkes all through;
But the stnpid I--he Jnxt wouldn't oe
And what could a poor gil do? "
44 It was woroe than late whon you A-ti.-ed I"
41 Wh I tell yon, pa !" I cried, ,
44 If I hinted once to the tirwomo dunce,
'Xwas a hundred times beside 1
Why, I even said you'd hnen In bod
For at least five hours I knew;
But ho tipped his chair, and st ill sat there -
Bo what could a poor girl do ?"
"Well, the Jeemses-goah ! was yon up ail
44 Why, papa I" I huroWy plead,
44 Don't thunder eo I there's a man below;
And he's- aent you his card, and said
That the reason why he stayed all niyht
Waa, that he wanted to see yon, too,
That ho might ask for the hand I gave
For what could a poor girl do ?"
HUMOR OF THE DAY.
Out of season An empty spice-box.
Tawcob Strftuss. ; . -
The retired theater star is always an
ex-acting creature. Boston Transcript.
,4Love lightens labor," as the muu
said when he saw his wife doing his
work for him. -
When a man applies for a. fcituation
as a policeman it is supposed he has a
taste for a club life.
Sore financial distress When yon
haven't got money, enough to buy oint
ment for a wound. Xew York News.
A canal differs from. most things in
one respect it is always filled before it
is opened. Syracuse Evening Ilnralth
Gate posts should bo eet out firmly.
A great deal may hinge upon them Ib
your girls grow up. New Haveu Regis
ter. Some one has said that parks are tie
breathing-places of a city. No one has
said that parks ore the sparkiug-placed
of a city.
44 When yesterday I asked you, love,'
one little word to say, your brother in
terrupted us ; ao please say yes ter day.
Toronto Grip.
A woman requested her husband not
to associate with a certain man who was
a hard drinker. 4 4 Why," ho exclaimed,
44he s my boose'm friend."
An Irishman, wl t was found guilly
of stealing coffee, was asked by the mag
istrate what he did with it. "Made toy
with it," was the Hibernian's reply.
An exchange says that ''the coming
girl is to be prettier than the kind we
now have." Impossible ; there can be
no improvement upon the original arti
cle. . .
Wasn't it rough on Ella, just as she
was telling Frederick, at lunch, how
ethereal her appetite was, to have the
cook bawl out: 4 'Say, will ye have yer
pork and beans now, or wait till yer fel
ler's gone?"
4 'Which side of the street do you live
on, Mrs. Kipple?" asked a counsel,
cross-examining a witness. 440h, either
side, sir. If you go one way, it's on the
right side ; if you go the other way, it's
on the left.
The best runs for poultry are where
grass and gravel are plentiful. Grass
runs are of great value where they can
be had, but they must be large if fowls
have constant access to them or the
grass will soon cease to grow.
A lawver'a brief is very long,
And Mr. White la black ;
A man is dry when he is green,
Aud when he's tight ho' slack.
A fire is hot when it U coaled, -"
A lamp is heavy; thouRh it's light ;
A shoe is IxiugLt when it is Bold,
A man can see whon out of sight
A Ijondon servant girl is represented
as saying : 4'Hard weather, indeed, sir.
I wish tho Lord would take the weather
in his own hands aRain, instead of trust
ing it to them Yankee probability men.
We might then get something fit to
live in. f
A school-teaclicr, discharged for
the rod too freely, applied for emj
ment in a dressmaker's establishment.
4'IIave you had any experience in sew
ing?" asked tho dressmaker. ,4No," waa
tho reply, 4,but I have a thorough knowl
edge of basting." Soinerrille Juwrtud.
A sleeper ia one who sleeps ; a sleeper
is also a place where a sloeier can sleep ;
and a (deeper is, too, a thing over which
runs the sleeper in wh?h the sleeper
deeps ; so that tho sleeper in the sleeper
sleeps while tho sleeper runs on as well
as sometimes leaps olf the track. Wit
He and she fat in the parlor. They
had been s tting there five mortal
hours. Ho was happy. She was tired.
After a silence of some minutes he
asked it ho might ing. She said he
might. Then he lifted up his voice
and began 44 Ever of thee I'm fondl,
dreaming," and h forgetfully re j
marked to herself, 44 Why dou't he wakoj
up and go home." Me heard it. Ht
waked up- He went home. He did rtuf.j
return. She now sits up seven nit;tN(
in the week with another young ma J
Possibly it is better thus. V
knows ? SttubeHiilto IlaralJ,
1