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VOL. XIY. NO. 7. TIONESTA. PA., MAY 11, 1881. , $1.50 Per Annum.
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Work and Wait.
A husbandman who many years
Had plowed I.ih fields and sown in tears,
"drew weary w ith his doubts and foam.
" I toil in vain 1 Those rocks and sands .' .
Will y it! (1 m harvest to my hands;
The liol needs rot in barren lands.
"My drooping vino is withering;
No promised grapes its blossoms bring;
No birda among its branches sing.
"My (lock is dying on the plain;
The heaven are. brass they yield no rain;
The earth is iron I toil in vain 1"
While, yet ho spake a breath had stirred
His drooping vino, like wing of bird,
And from its leaves a voice ho beard:
"Tho gortiis and fruits of lifo must bo
Forever hid in mystery,
Vet nono can toil in vain for me.
A mightier Land, more skillod than thine,
Must hung tho cluster of the vine,
And mako tho fields with harvest shine.
Man can but work; God can ereato; v
Cut they wlio work, and watch and wait,
Have their reward, though it come late.
" Look up to heaven I behold and hear
Tho clouds and thundering in thine ear
An answer to thy doubt and fear."
Ho looked, and lo ! a cloud-draped car,
With trailing smoke and flames afar,
Was rushing to a distant star.
v.
And every thirsty flock and plain
Was rising up lo meet the rain
That came to clothe tho fields with grain.
NABBY'S HUSBAND.
A knock at, the 'squire's door.
Au eager " come in" from the 'squire,
to w bom any outside diversion is an in
estiniuble lioon, he having just reached
that uncomfortable stage of masculine
rouvalescen ;e when life becomes a bur
den not only to the so-called " patient"
himself but also to those unlucky femi
nine relatives whose duty it is to offi
ciate as his "ministering angels."
Mary, the servant, came in.
" Please, Mr. llosley, there's a woman
downstairs who says she must see you.
She's been here to see you before since
you were sick, and 'now tshe, won' take
lio for on answer."
V i? cl WP Mary," said tlu
r . - i 4 - ...
t. T. - ' ' i
I -1 1. v i. il,.
i-b. wtiiv. firm memn a nr visiuiv
line ill" whi iiorse uu ntc uin kite uuiLit
afar on, hfot. all the cozy comforts of
his Hiirronmlms. tho " Sleepy-Hollow-ness"
of his chair, the pleasant pictures
on the-wall, the wood fire which now,
Jhat the wintry twilight was scttlinp
down over the bit of gray sky, left vis
ible by the curtains heavy folds, danced
and flashed all over the room in rosy
shadows, could not reconcile the 'squire
to his enforced seclusion. Secretly he
pined for his dingj old den of an office,
and chafed at the doctor's restrictions,
which as yet forbade all thoughts of
business. But now the moral police
force, represented by his wife and
daughter, being luckily off duly, there
was nothing to prevent this probable
client.
" Show her up, Mary," and tho
'squire cheerfully straightened himself
and assumed as much of legal dignity
as dressing-gown and slippers permit
ted. Mary disappeared. Presently the
door opened again. "Why, Nabby," 6aid
the 'squire, "is it you? IIow do you
rj . UOf
. f - JJF Yes, 'squire it's me," said Nabby,
dor
dropping down with a heavy sigh into
,tho chair, " and I don't do very well
I Nabby Mas a short, squarely-built
I woman of fifty, with considerable gray
in the coarse, black hair drawn stillly
and uncompromisingly back under a
bonnet about fifty years out of date.
She had sharp, black eyes, and a reso
lute, go-ahead manner. Evidently a
hard-working woman ; yet in looking
at her you could not help the conviction
that something more than hard work
had plowed the deep wrinkles which
ran across her forehead, and threatened
to lift her eyebrows up to her hair.
Nabby had lived with tho 'squire's
mother fifteen years from the time
when Mrs. llosley took her in, a ten-year-old
' orphan, who was. as the good old
lady sometimes expressed it, more
pliiguo than profit," until she grew into
tho steady and reliable hand-maiden who
finally, with every one's good wishes,
married young Josiah ould, and set up
in the world for herself. OH Mrs
llosley had long since gone to her
reward, but her family still kept up a
friendly interest in Nabby and her for
tunes, the 'squire in particular being; for
her " guide, philosopher and friend" in
all the emergencies of life.
Why, what's the matter now, Nab
by?' said the 'squire, good-naturedly.
"Are you sick Y"
"Yes, I am," said Nabby, emphati
cally, with a snap of her black eyes.
" I'm sick to death of Josiah. I can't
stan' it anv longer, and I've come to
talk with ou about gettin' a divorce.
You see he'h been a growin' worse and
worse now for a good while. I've kept
it to myself pretty much because l was
ashamed on't, and then kop' !hopin' he'd
do better. I've talked an' talked to him
and said and done everything a woman
could, but it seemed as if the more I
talked the worse he grew."
The 'squire looked at Nabby's rather
sharp, hard face, and perhaps was hardly
so surprised as Nabby expected that
Josiah l ad not been reformed by the
" tulkinj, to he Lad undoubtedly re
ceived.
"lie prew uore and more shiftless
and good for nothiLsr," continued Nabby,
" till finally he didn't do much but sit
around tho kitchen fire, half boozy. If
there's anybody I hate," burst out
Nabby, " it's a man forever settin' round
the house under foot. And there I was
a-takin' in washin' and a-slaving early
and late to be kinder decent and fore
handed, and him no better than a dead
man on my hands, so far as helping any
was concerned. And so I told him,
time and again. lie worked just about
enough to keep himself in drinl . lie
knew ho couldn't get any of my, money
for that. But I stood it all till about a
fortnight ago. I'd been working hard
all day helping Mifjs Barber clean house,
ami it seemed as if every bone in my
body ached, I was so tired. I came
along homo, thinking how good my cup
Of tea would taste. Then first thing I
seo when I opened the kitchen door was
old Hank Slater settin there in my
ockin chair. Ho and Josiah were both
runk as hogs," said Nabby, shin der
ng an innocent animal in her haste for
a simile.
"They'd tracked the mud all over
my clean floors. The cookin' stove was
crammed full of wood, roaring like all
possessed. I wonder thoy hadn't burned
ed the house up before I got there. And
they'd got my best teapot out to heat
some water, ana tne water a an wiea
away an dthe bottom came out. But the
worst was to see my husband a consort-
in witu Bucti a scum oi tne eartu as
that miserable, low-lived Hank Slater.
I tell you, 'squire, I was mad. I just
hung that kitchen door wide open, and
sez I:
"Get out out of this houee, Josiah
Gould, and don't ever let me see your
face inside on t again.
Sez he, meek as Moses: ' Where
shall I go to, Nabby ?'
' Sez I, I don't caro where you go
to, so long's you don't come near me.
I've always been a respectable woman,
and I don't want none of Hank Slater's
friends round my house.' "
" Well?" queried the 'squire, as Nab
by's narrative came to a pause. ,
" Well," said .Nabby, in a ratner sub
dued tone, " he went off. And he hasn't
come back. And I want a divorce."
"Now, Nabby," remonstrated the old
'squire, "you don't want a divorce. I
know you better than that. You are not
the woman to give Josiah up and let him
go to the bad without a struggle, lou
feel a little vexed with liim now, and I
don't blame you. It's hard very hard.
But you know you took him ' for better,
for worse.' Do you think, yourself, it's
quite right to break your contract
because it proves the worst for you
because you are the strong one and he
the weak one of the two? That doesn't
st rike me as good Bible doctrine, Nabby.
Wo that are strong ought to bear the
infi nities of the weak,' and hot to
piec e ourselves, vou know."
"Well, I dunno," aid Nabby, twist
ing the corner of her shawl, dubiously,
"I hadn't thought on't in that light, I
roust say. It's so aggravatin' to have
such a man for a husband. Besides, I
dunno's he'd come back if I wanted him
to."
"Hasn't he been back at all ?"
" Why, yes, he came back once for a
pair of pantaloons. But I didn't take no
notice ef him."
" Now, Nabby, you may depend upon
it, it wasn't the pantaloons he was
after. He wanted to see if you wouldn't
relent. If he comes again be a little
pleasant to him, and I'll wan-ant he
will stay. Give him another chance,
Nabby. Josiah isn't tho worst fellow in
the world, by any means. He has his
i'edeeminsr traits, after all. I believe
he will do better if you will try to help
him. You know Josiah is one that
bears encouragement, Nabby."
"Well, squire, ill think it over
Anvhow. I'm obleeered to you. You
talk' so sorter comfortin' to a body
Your mother's own son; just the same
(rood heart. Would you be able to eat
some of my cheese, 'squire?"
" Try me and seo, Nabby," said the
'squire, smilingly, not impervious to
N abby's compliments. Nabby made her
exit just as Mrs. llosley rushed in full
of wifely indignation that the squire
ha 1 been allowed to see a "client."
Vabby's home was over at the " Cor-
ne 8," three miles from the village. She
wa Iked rapidly along in the fast thick
en ng darkness, with the steady, strong
Kait becoming the self-reliant woman
that she was. Yet even her unimagina
tive nature was, not proof against the
depressing influence of the chilly, raw
November evening, i he wind whistled
through the bare tree branches, which
creaked and groaned mourntully, and
waved wildly in the dim light overhead.
Tho wind seemed to cherish a special
spite against Nabby. It blew her bon
net on and her hair into nereyes, strag
gled madly with her for her shawl, took
her breath away and firmly resisted
every step. Finally it began to send
spiteful dashes or cold rain drops in her
faCe rain that Beemed to freeze aa it
fell.
" Josiah used to come after me with
an umbrella when I was caught out in
the rain," thought Nabby. "He was
always real kind and good to me after
all. I duno's he ever gave me a cross
word in his life, even M'hen he s been
drinking."
Here the driving sleety rain, and pierc
ing wind pounced down upon Nabby
with renewed fierceness, hustling her
madly in fiendish glee.
" An awful night to be homeless,
Nabby," something seemed to say.
" I don't care," said Nabby to herself,
beginning to feel cross again, and gen
erally ill-used as she grew wetter and
colder. " It serves him right. He's
made his bed and ha can lie in it."
At the " Corners," light streaming out
cheerfully into the nik'td lroui other
homes made Nabby's little house par
ticularly gloomy and uninviting. Nabby
fumbled under the mat for the door
key, fumbled with stiff fingers for the
hey-hole, and finally succeeded in un
locking the door, and felt her way
through the little entry.
There is always something "uncanny"
about going alone at night into a dark
and shut-up house. Every 'person of
the best regulated minds experience a
vague suspicion of something behind
them, a sense of possible ghostly hands
about to clutch them in the darkness.
Nabby was a woman like Mrs. Edmund
Sparkler, with "no nonsense about
her ; " but nevertheless a cheerful tale
she had read only yesterday about a
burglar and a lone woman, kept coming
into her head, and she carefully avoided
the blackness of the corners and the
pantry door as she groped around tho
kitchen for a candle. Of course the
fire had gone out.
" Two heads are better than one, if
one is a sheep's head." Nabby might
have been heard muttering out in the
woodhouse, as she stooped painfully
down, picking up chips; by which orac
ular utterance I suspect she was think
ing what a good supply of kindlings
Josiah always kept on hand for her, and
how much more comfortable it was in
the old times, coming home to a house
bright with light and warmth, and Jo
siah's welcome.
For Josiah cherished the most pro
found admiration for Nabby an admi
ration not unmingled with awe. He
thought her a most wonderful woman.
She was just as beautiful to him now as
in the old courting-dayr, before the
brightness and quickness of the black
eyes had degenerated into sharpness;
before tho smiling mouth had acquired
its hard, firmly-set expression; before
thero were any wrinkles in the smooth
forehead. Feople thought Nabby had
done well in marrying Josiah Gould a
pleasant, good-natured young fellow
that every one liked, a young mechanic,
not very rich yet, it is true; but with a
cood trade and such a wife as Nabbv,
there seemed to be nothing to prevent
his figuring as " one of our first citi
zens." Anybody can be Bomebody in this
country if he is only detormined. But
that was the dimculty witu Josiaii. jue
never was Qetermineu aoout anytnmg.
Ho fell into the habit of drinking be
cause he lacked sufficient strength of
will to avoid it. Then Nabby'B sharp
words and his own miserable, 6ense of
meanness and self-contempt, of utter
discouragement and despair, drove him
lower and lower into the Blough of
despond without effort or hope.
By a beautiful dispensation ot iTov-
idence, whenever a poor, shiftless, good-
for-nothing man is sent out into our
world, some active,- go-ahead little
woman is invariably fastened to him to
tow him along through and keep his
head above water. It is for the best,
of course. What would become of the
poor fellow without her ? At the same
time, she sometimes finds it a little
hard.
Nabby was ambitious and proud
spirited, willing to work hard to save
to do her part; anxious to get on in the
world and stand well among her neigh- j
bors. The fact gradually realized, that
in her husband she had no support, only
a drag and a burden, and finally a dis
grace, had been a disappointment em
bittering her whole nature. To have a
husband that no one respected, that
even the boy 8 around town called "Si
Gould," was dreadful to Nabby. Fer
haps it was hardly strange that she grew
m 1 i '
hard ana outer.
Meantime Nabby had succeeded in
starting the fire, and, having changed
her dress, sat down to dry her feet until
the toa-kettle boiled. But even tho
ruddy light aud warmth with vhich the
kitchen now glowed could not send oil
the dreariness of the night. The rain
" tapped with ghostly finger tip upon
the window-pane," and the wind howled
and wailed around the house like the
spirits of the lost pleading to be once
more taken back into human life and
warmth.' Such a wind stirs in even the
happiest heart a vague sense of loss, of
change of all that goes to make up the
unsatisfactoriness of life. Dead sor
rows creep forth from their graves on
such cold nights, and stalk up and down
the echoing chambers of the heart.
Nabby could not help wondering
where Josiah was to-night. It was so
lonely sitting there with no one to speak
to, listening to the moaning wind, the
creaking of the blinds, the loud ticking
of the clock.
Tho wind wailed and wailed, and
Nabby thought and thought. The fact
of having "freed her mind to the
'squire had relieved her long pent-up
indignation, and now she felt more sad
than angry. Up before her seemed to
rise a picture of her life the youthful
dreams and hopes, the changes and dis
appointments, the love turned into
wrangling, one even tnougnt of Josiah
with pity. For the first time " she put
herself in his place," and realized how
impossible it was for one of his weak
nature to resist, unaided, the temptation
which would cost a stronger will au
effort.
" I'm afraid Fve been a little too sharp
with Josiah," thought she, "I've sorter
took it for granted I was a saint and he
was a sinner and scolded him right
along down-hill. A nice saint I ami
As proud and high-strung as Jiucifer
himself! Oh, dear!" sighed Nabby.
"A pretty mess I've made of living ! If
we could go back and begin over again,
seems to me things would go bettor."
Just then there was a faint noise, like
the clicking of the door-latch. Nabby
started and looked arouud. All wan
still again no ono visible. Yet Nabby
could not rid herself of the impression
that some one was near her, that odd
sense we have of another's individuality
near us, though not present.
"There's some one hangin' round
here, I know," said she to herself.
Nabby was one who always met
things half way. Accordingly she walked
to the "outside door, and opening it
qnickly, peered out into the darkness.
There stood Josiah, wetsheepish, sorry.
Once he ntarted to go in, but his moral
courage failing, he lingered in dubious
hesitation on the doorstep.
" Why don't you come in, Josiah?"
asked Nabby.
"I didn't know as you'd want m,
Nabby," replied Josiah, with all the
meekness becoming a returning prodigal.
" Want you ? Of course I do," said
Nabby, heartily. " Come right along in.
I'm going to have good griddle cakes
for supper, and you must tend them
while I set the table." Unddle cakes
were one of Josiah's weaknesses, and
Nabby knew it.
Josiah came in. If he ever gets into
heaven probably his sensations will not
be one whit more delightful than they
are now, as from forlornness of his
wretched wanderings ho came into the
cozy brightness of the kitchen, and felt
that h'3 was home once more. How
good the tea smelled. The fire roared
And snapped, the tea-kettle boiled and
bobbed its lid up and down, and from
the griddle the savory odor of the cakes
ascended like homely incense. Josiah's
face, shining with mingled heat and
happiness as he turned the griddle
cakes, was something worth seeing.
Nabby stepped briskly around getting
supper ready. It seemed so pleasant to
see the table for two again, to have some
one to praise and appreciate her cook
ing. The November wind might howl
its worst now. Its hold on Nabby was
gone. In place of all the bitter sadness
that had hung heavily round her heart
was a warm feeling of happiness, of
comfort and hope.
All the explanation they had was
this: Josiah drew from under his shabby
coat an exceedingly awkward and knob
by bundle.
"I've bought somethin' for you,
Nabby, ' he said.
The " somethin' " undone proved to
be a very Jhandsome brittania teapot.
The teapot must have known that it
was a peace-offering, with such preter
natural brightness did it shine and
glisten. Something in ' Nabby's eyes
shone and glistened, too, although she
had winked hard, and scorned the weak
ness of a pocket-handkerchief.
"Thank you, Josiah," she said; "it's
a regular beauty, and I shall set lots by
it." y
Which, so long as they understood
each other, was perhaps as well as if
Josiah had made a long-worded speech
of repentance and reformation, and
Nabby another of forgiveness.
I wish I could say that Nabby never
scolded Josiah again. But I can't.
However, she " drew it mild," and there
was a general understanding between
them that this was only a sort of exer
cise made necessary by habit a barking
by no means involving biting. And
Josiah was so accustomed to it that he
would have missed it, and not felt
natural without being wound and set
Koina: for the day by Nabby.
One day, later in the winter, JNauoy
was washing for Mrs. Hosley. v
" So you ve taken JosjaU back again,
after all," said Mrs. Hosley.
"Well, yes, I have, said Nabby,
giving the last twist to a sheet she was
wringing out. "Josiah mayn't be very
much to brag of; but then, you see
he's my own and all I've got. We're
getting to be old folks, Josiah and me
and we may as well put up with each
other the little while we've got to stay
here."
" IIow has he been doing since he
came back V"
" First rate. He's walked as straight
as a string ever since. He's a good
provider, now he's quit drinking, aud a
master hand for fixing up things around
the house and making it comfortable.
I tell you what it is, Mrs. Hosley, we've
got tq make 'lowance for folks in this
world. We can't have 'em always just
to our mind, We got to take them
iust as they are and mako the best
on t.
"I'm glad to see you so much hap
pier and better contented, Nabbj'."
" Well, I used to fret and complain
a good deal because things hadn't
turned out as I expected 'cm to; but
lately I've thought a good deal about it
all, and Fve made up my mind that
there's considerable comfort for every
one in this world, after all. We mayn't
git just what we want, but we git some
thin.
In which piece of philosophy I be
lieve Nabby was about right.
Satisfactory.
A gentleman writing to the Danville
Tribune says :
Dr. Bittle, in a lecture to his meta
physics class, was once speaking of the
shrewdness of children's replies, their
perplexing questions, etc., and said to
us :
" You just try asking some child why
the sun doesn't riso in the west." When
opportunity favored I tried the experi
ment. I said to a bright little girl :
"Who made the sun?" "God
"Where did He niake it rise?" "In
the east." " Well, can you tell me why
he didn't make it rise in the west ?"
" He wanted that place for it to set at,"
was the reply.
The )opular verdict is generally tha rihi
one, and concerning Da. lli l.i.'s Cuo.h Swu f
the people have long .iucedocidid that it in the
best eolith remedy ever introduced.
SCIENTIFIC S0TES.
Mr. G. rhclps Bevcn-estimates the
grand total of gold produced during the
historic ages to be 17,500,000,000, and
that ' of silver $14,000,000,000, making
the produce of both tho precious metals
to be worth $31,000,000,000.
Eschnit has confirmed, by a new sta
tistical table showing the duration of
life in the various professions in Bavaria
the general impression that medical
men are shorter lived than( any other
class. Out of every 100 individuals
fifty-three Protestant clergymen, forty
one professors, thirty-niwe lawyers or
magistrates, thirty-four Catholic priests,
but only twenty-six doctors reach the
age of fifty.
The government telegraph depart
ment in Calcutta obtained last Novem
ber a sample supply of the loud-speaking
telephones of .the Gower-Bell com
pany, and the experimental trials of their
instruments have given so much satis
faction that the company received lately
an order for a large number of their
telephones. The government of India
will not sanction the establishment ot
telephonic exchanges by private per
sons. Although Dr. J. Gwyn Jeffreys has
during a period of between forty and
hlty years, dredged, as a explorer, all
the seas of the British isles besides
considerable part of those cn the
coasts of North America, Greenland,
Norway, France, Spain, Portugal, Mo
rocco "and Italy, he has never found
anything of value except to a naturalist,
nor any human bone, although many i
thousand human beings must have per-
shed in those seas. The gems, "dead
bones," etc., that was thought to form
tho floor of the ocean appear to exist
only in the imagination of the poets.
The artificial means by which drowsi
ness may be induced have been investi
gated lately in Germany by Preyer.
The ordinary drowsiness of fatigue sup
posed to be caused by. the introduction
into the blood of lastic acid, a compound
proceeding from the distingeration of
the bodily tissues of nerves and muscle.
To ascertain whether this view was cor
rect, Preyer administered large quanti
ties of the acid to animals, and found
that it would induce a drowsiness and
slumber apparently identical with formal
sleep, and from which they awaken
seemingly much refreshed. Not only
lactate soda, but sour milk and whey,
fed to animals which had been fasting,
produced this artificial sleep.
A Substitute lor Earthquakes.
Queer how the iorce of habit will
catch hold ot a man. There Mas
old
Major Dogshow who was a terrible vic
tim of it. The major when a small boy
went down to Peru where they have
earthquakes and revolutions every ten
days or so ; where a man works to get
his enemy elected president, for the
sake of seeing him assassinated. The
major lived in that country till he was
nearly fifty years old and he had got ,
by that time, wonted to being mixed up
in a civil war or fleeing from an earth
quake about half the time. Finally he
moved back to the United States. At
the end of a week ho was unhappy. He
missed tho revolutions and the earth
quakes. Occasionally, he contrived to
dream there was an earthquake, and
then he would hop out of bed' and rush
out of the house, without stopping to
dress, and would run half a mile, howlo
ing, before he got sufficiently awake to
realize his mistake. This kind of got
the neighbors to thinking the major
,'had 'em." But this didn't afford
much relief. However, a political cam- .
paigu came on, and the major moved to '
Philadelphia and used to go to ward I
caucuses and take a prominept part, .
and he was elected to the board of al
dermen, and got his head thumped
with a cuspadoreat most every meeting
and that, in a measure, made up for the
loss of revolutions. But the major han
kered for earthquakes, and at last the de
sire to experience one became almost un
controllable. He consulted a doctor. Tho
doctor said he thought he could help
him. The doctor owned an old Mexican
mule with a back as sharp as an ax. The
mule had been in the army ten years.
He took it out in an open field and put
the major on its back. Then tho nmlo
began to buck. Did you ever see a
mule buck ? It jumps about four feet
into the air, and comes down stiff
legged, and the jar the rider gets is
enough to loosen his teeth. And you
can't get'oll' unless you fall off, and then
the mule may jump on you. The major
knew that, aud he hung on for dear life.
The doctor danced wildly about as the
mule bucked, and the major swore and
screamed. "Is it equal to au earth
quake?" ho yelled. And the major
howled: "Hang it! yes; it's six of 'cm,
with a volcano and a stroke of lightning
thrown in !" The mule finally quieted
down, and he took the major off. He
was the sorest, lamest, maddest man in
the State. And he says he has had
enough earthquake to last him a life
time, but he hasn't got through with tho
doctor, who had better leave the country
before he gets well. Boston st.
A debating society has tackled the
question : " Is it worse to think you've
reached the top when there is one stair
more, than to think there is one stair
more when you've reached the top, and
bring your foot down so hard that it
tingles for four hours?" Huston 1'ost.
Some one who has had a sad experi
c nee in the purchase of a horse says that
1 e asked the dealer how niuch ho would
t ike to warrant the horse good, and that
t le philanthropist replied at once that
ha would warrant him good for nothing.
Give Them Now.
f you have gentle words and looks, my friends,
To spare for mo if you have tears to shed
That I have Buffered keep them not, I piny,
Uutil I see not, hear not, being dead.
If you have flowers to give fair lily buds,
White roses, daisies, (meadow stars that be
Mine own dear namesakes) let them smile
and make
Tho air, while yet I breathe it, sweet forme.
Tor loving looks, though fraught with tender
ness, Aud kindly tears, though they fall thick and
fast,
And words of rraise, alas! can nanght avail .
To lift the shadows from a life that's past.
And rarest blossoms, what can thoy Huflieo,
Offered to one who can no longer gazo
Upon their beauty? Flowers in coffins laid
Impart no sweetness to departed days.
HUMOR OF THE DAY.
Dear at any price Sweethearts.
The fishery question Got a bite
A tie vote is generally the result of a
knotty question.
A man who was formerly a night
watchman refers to it as his late occu
pr.tion.
No star ever rose and set without in.
flnenee somewhere. It is the same way
with a hen.
A woman's work is never done, be
cause when she has nothing, else to dc
she has her hair to fix.
Why is a dandy like a mushroom ?
Because he's a regular saphead
His waist is remarkably slender,
His growth ia exceedingly rapid,
And his top is uncommonly tender.
The hog cholera excitement is the
biggest thing in the porcine lino since
Theodore Thomas had to leave Cincin
nati becauso ho retused to beat time
with a ham.
Many a woman who would like to put
down a new Brussels carpet in her par
lor will be obliged to be content with
putting, a new hoop on the second-best
washtub. New Haven Register.
. Philadelphia has discovered that
colored lard is being palmed off as but
ter. Passing off pigs' feet for Bjn'ing
chickens will probably be the next
deception. Philadelphia Chronicle.
"You don't know how it pains me to
punish you," said the teacher. "I
guess there's the most pain at my end of
the stick," replied the boy, feelingly.
" 'T any rate I'd be willing to swap."
"Yes, sir,"' said Gallagher, "it was
funny enough to make a donkey laugh.
I laughed till I cried," and then he saw a
smile go round the room, he grew red
in the face, and went away mad. Boston
Post.
The favorite girls in Washington have
big, brown eyes and large mouths. As
the latter qualification enables them to
eat ice-cream with a coal shovel, it.
promises to be an expensive sumnu t
for unmarried government clerks.
It is said that two' French philoso
phers have kept nine . hog3 drunk for a
year, and say they are nono the worse
for their tippling. Which proves that
hogs are natural drunkards, or that nat
ural drunkards are hogs, we've forgot
ten which. New Haven Register.
When a member, in the course of a
very long speech, called for a glass of
water, a member sitting near exclaimed
sotto voce to his neighbors: " This is
all contrary to the laws of mechanics a
windmill ruling ig by water. Hartford
Cowan t.
The Origin of Kestaitrants,
The use of restaurants has become so
general all over the world, that it will
bo interesting to many to hear how they
first originated, and to what they owe
their now familiar name. It appears
that the first of these establishments
was started in 17t!o, by a man rejoicing
in tho not inappropriate name of Bou
lange. This date has, however, nothing
to do with tho choice of the title by
which the new houses of entertainment
were known. In order to explain this
we must go back to the seventeenth
century, at the end of which one of tho
soups, or liquid ailments, most used by
the people was a bouillon known as tht.
" divine restorer." It was made up of
the remains of fowls and viands boiled
down in an alembic, with crashed bar
ley, dried roses and Damascus currants.
As it was only the class of compara
tively well-to-do persons who could
afford such a luxury, a genius was
required to bring the "divine restorer"
within the reach of all the multitude.
He was found in a certain doctor named
Gailliurd, who proposed to provide "an
excellent substitute" for tho leal nectar
by cooking a fat fowl in a little aromat
ized water, and selling the boullion as
" divine." At that time the privilego
of cooking and serving ragouts was re
served for the traiteurs, or licensed
vietualers, and that of providing set
dinners was secured by charter to tho
corporation or the rotissours. But tho
new sellers of tho " restaurant divine '
wcro freo lances, bound by no particular
rule, and they moreover claimed to have
a more select set of clients than tho
common eating-houses. Consequently
the restaurants, as they came to bo
called, soon achieved an extraordinary
reputation, and at length their proprie
tors found it necessary to combine with
their old profession that of traiteurs,
which word was in tha process eclipsed
by the more new-fapgled term restau
rateur. 1 ii
Sheep manure is richer than that i f
cows. Practically it is estimated '
nearly double the value of that of cat '
c