Itatos of Advertising. OneSquare (1 ln'h,)one insertion - f. OnoSquare " one month - - 3 Of t OneHiiaro " tliroo month - 6 00 OneKqnnre " ono your - - 10 O Two Squares, ono vcar - IS Op liiiortorCol. " " - - - - SO 00 IlHlf' " " - - - 60 ( One " " - - - - J 00 00 I-Pfc-al notices at established rat"- TVtrn'riasie and dentil notices, gratia. All bills for yearly advertisements col lected quarterly. Temporary advertise ments niut, be paid for in advance. Jofi work, Cawii on 1 toll very. if published evi;uy wkinpuuv, ur or. 23. -wxarsxis. office, in noBraso &i:o-,-r,r;;3 bbimhno el;j etreet, Ti').';r,.'rA, ta, 4 TEIllIS, ti.sa ieai:. No SnliMcriptioui received for a ahortor 1 i ii.il than throo month. ' 'orroHpondonen sol icif oil jroiti all part Hie country. . No noiico will bo taken ot uuonynious communications. VOL. XIV. NO. 1. TIONESTA, PA., MAHCH 30, 1881. $1.50 Per Annum, $SQ0 REWARD Over a Million OP vProl.Guilmctts's VKmneyPafls Have alreadv i b'ton told In thin conntty and Id Fiance; every I one ol which ha liven perfect satisfaction anil has performed C tires every tlmu when owed ac cording todireo. ti'itiB. i now My to the afflloled and doubting one? teat we will pay the above reward for a singlo case ol LA3IE BACK. That the Pad tails to ourn. This Great Rem edy will positively and permanently ' onru Lumbago, Lame Hark, Sciatica, Gravol, Din betes, Dropsy. Bright' Disease ol tho Kid. neys, Incontinence and Itt.rition ol the Urine, Inflammation of tho Kidney, Catarrh ot the Bladder, IIigh Colored Urine, Fain in the Hack, Side or Loin, Nervous Woakne.), nndinlaotall disonleis ol ttio Bladder and Tiinary Organs, whether contracted by pii viiLeti'seaaeor otherwiso. L -s DIES, It yoo are stiffo ring from Feinnla Weakness, Lenoorrhea, or any disae ot tho - Kidneys, Bladder or Urinary Organs, YOU CAN BE CURED I Without Rwallowing nacseous medicines, by imply wearing PP0F. GTJILMETTE'S FRENCH KIDNEY PAD, WHICH CUHU BY ABSORPTION. Ask your druggist for. l'rot. Guilinette'i French Kidney Pad, and take no other. 11 lio has not got it, aend $2 and you will receive tho Pad by retora mail. nnuoiuu irom tub rsorxB. Jodge Buohanan, lawyer, Toledo, O., sayst One ol Prof. Guilmette's French Kidney Pads cured me of Lumbago In three week's' time. My ease had been given tip by the beet doctor as wearable. During all this time I tiffmed untold gmt$ Md pai l out large sums of money." George Tetter, J. p., Toledo, O , eaysi " I suffered tor three years with Sciatica and Ki'. ney Disease, and ortea had to go about on , cnitohea. I vm entirely and permanently rred after wearing Prol. GailmeUe's French W Iney Pad tour weeks." , Squire M. C. Boot, Sylvania, O., wrilee: Vtl have been a great s offerer tor 16 years with Bright'a Disease oi the Kidneys. For wi'eks at a time was enable to get out ol Sed ; t4' horrels ol medlolno, but they gave me jry uiuliarynsuei 1 wore two or Prol. ' Xiiluiette s Kidney Pedoii week, and 1 . V i l i.. A ' I Mrs Ilulen Jerome, Toledo, O., sayst "For i ars 1 have been ennflned, a great part oi the inn. ta bi hnd with Laneorrhea and Female ' Weakness. I wore one ol Gnilrnette's Kidney , Pads and was eured in One month. ' 1 i II. B Green, Wliolexale Grooer, Findky, ' V., writes: " I stiflerel 24 years with lame . laok and in three weeks was p"rmanently in red by wearing one Oi Prol. Guiiinettes ladney Puds." f II. F Keealing, M. D , DrnKgist, IxganB- ,! ort. Ind., when sending in an order lor Kid- . ey Pads, write.: ' 1 wore one of the first V si.m wu hmi mnA I iwnifMil mi rn hnnnflt Irnm f l than anything I ever nad; in tact the Pad (ive better geneial aatislacliou than any Kid i; nlv remedy we ever sold. ' !ttiiy A Shoemaker, Druggita, Hannibal, to. j " We are working up a lively trade iu 'our 1'aiU, and are hearing of good resulu ron them every day." , For ile by G W I10VARD. Tionesta, Pa, iZ CEWTS, &a k& POSTPAID 1 k TREATISE on this uoua M. Ski 1f- m. AND HIS DB8EASES. Cont alnlnij an Index of lls-eaet,-vrlileU glvea the Wymp toms, Caiue, and tho Itet Treatment of eaoh, A. Table U vlntf ull ttio irlncjlpallrue used for tlio Hor, wltU the ordinary dose, effects, and antidote -vrUen a -poison. A. Tnhla wltl an lUnirra-vlnj? of tho 1 1 or no Teotli at dl 1 Tor ts nt auea with. 3tnle Tor toll IiiC tho aire. A valuable col luotlon of ltcoelpta and muoli otlier valuable infor mation. I0Q-FABB tout post paid to .any ad- dreijtsintho I'nlted Htates or Canadafor 25CEfJTS. CLtlli RATES: Five Cop'Ki Ton Copi' Ono H'jnd'u'J Coplee ti.oo 1.78 3.00 10.00 Postage Stamps received. H. I WiW OHM, I 43 & I GO Worth St.. N. Y. (Jrftndfftllior Snow. Gi andfatlmr Snow came down, one day, And what do you think ? And w'lint do you think ? ITo'a as old as tho hilln, but his heart is gay, And over the country lie aped away. His hair was as white as a cotton ball ; And what do you think 1 And what do you think ? Ilo gayly pranced over tho highest wall, For his dear old legs weren't stiff at all. Wherever ho went ho raised a breeze ; And what do you think ? And w hat do you think ? Ho climbed to the tops of tho tallest trees, Aa cool and nimble as ever you ploaso 1 A train went thundering over the ground, And what do you think ? And what doynn think ? Old Oranthcr after it went with a bound My old fellow ! ho made no sound. Ho caught the cars, and ho held on tight ; And what do you think"? And wiiat do you think ? XI ip train had to stop in tho road all night, And couldn't go on till broad daylight 1 Old as he was, he stayed out late ! . And what do you think ? And what do you think ? Ho sat on the posts of tho door-yard gate, And danced on the fence at a high old rate 1 But tho-ehililron cheered for Grandfather still ; And what do you think ? And what do you think ? Ho spread himself out on the top of a hill, And they all coaftod down on' his back with a will ! He was none too old for a grand go-bang I And what do you think ? And what do you think ? To the tops of the highest roofs he sprang, And down on tho peoplo he slid w ith a whang 1 He had no manners, 'tis sad to say I And what do you think ? And what do you think ? For a chap like him to got in the way, And trip up people by night and day ? But his heart was white and pure within ; Now what do you think ? Now what do you think ? To bo glad and jolly is never a sin, For a long-faived Granthor I care not a pin. Wo none of us know what we should'do; Now what do you think ? Now what do you think ? If wc only camo down for a month or two, And couldn't stay hero tho whole year through. Catherine K Halbtrq. OUR TROUBLES. Jack and I had been married n, year boforo we went to housekeeping. Feoplo Hay that the first year of married liie is tho most trying. All I cau say is that wo did not find it ho. "We never had a word of serious difference so long as we boarded, but almost as noon as we were settled in our tiny, pretty house, our troubles began. Jack and I have never been quite able to decide when our unpleasantness com menced. He puts the date of it in June, when Lettice Green went to Europe, and left me her canaries as a parting gift two of the loveliest little yellow and green darlings that ever were seen. That is quite absurd, though. The real trouble began a month later, when he himself brought home the great, clumsy, blun dering Newfoundland pup, which was the pest of the house for many a long day. It wasn't so bud at tirst. Jack only laughed when he saw the canaries, and said: " Why, Madge.'little woman, you'll have vour hands full now, if vou never did before." "Nonsense!" I said ; " it's nothing to take care of a pair of birds." Cut Jack only laughed Such darlings as those b'irds were ! I can't say that they ever learned to know me not really, you know. They flut tered just as much and were just as hard to catch the last day that I let them out of their cage as they were the first. That was one of tho things that Jack ob jected to my letting them out of their cage, I mean. Jack wrote, you see for the press, I menu and the buck -parlor, which was also his study, was the only place whore I could keep the birds. "Ueally, Madge," said .lack one day, "I wish you could find some other place to keep those birds, or elso I wish you would not let them out of their cage. Their favorito promenade is my desk, ami I never can find a paper that I want after thev have been rooting about there." "Hut, Jack," I said, "thev must have their morning flv, poor little dears, and I have always let them have it while you are taking your constitutional, so that they need not disturb you. If vou would rather have me let them out while you're at home, though " "Thanks, not any," said Jack. "It's bad enough to see the results, without having them flopping down bodily upon my head. Never mind. I'll bo cart ful to leave my inkstand uncovered, and they'll bo drinking the ink some day, and that will bo the end of them." "Jack, you are very unkind," I said: but Jack only laughed, and went otit of tho room. I was always careful to see that the inkstand was covered alter that, though. It was soon after that that ho brought home his dog. I never shall forget that dav. He knows that I never could bear dogs. I am afraid of them, horribly afraid, and I never thought he would bo so cruel as to bring one of the great blundering things home to scare me out ol mv poor little wits. "Here, Madge," he said, as he camo in, leading tho thing. "As you are so fond of pets, I have brought you ono worth having." Then Ihe thing rushed at mo, with its great red mouth wide open, and its white teeth shining, and its eyes glaring, and before I knew it, the two big hairy paws were on my shoulders, and tho frightful face close against mine. "Jack!" I screamed " oh, Jack! take him off, or I shall die." Jack laughed, and caught the creature by his collar and pulled him away. "Why, bless your heart, Madge!" he said, "the dog won't hurt you. He is only a pup nine months old to a day and as full of affection as he can stick. Ho only wanted to make friends with yon." " But I don't want to be made friends with in that fashion," I said, as well as I could speak for crying. Jack laughed, and caressed me, and apologized ; but it was then that our troubles began, for all that. What a nuisance that dog 'was no one who has not brought up a Newfoundland pup can imagine. Now it was one of the best table-cloths, not only pulled on, nut torn into rags; or my laco set Aunt Clarice's wedding pres'ent which had been laid out to bleach, had disap peared bodily, all but a fluttering end which hung out of Hero's mouth as ho careered about tho yard; or it was ono of Jack's dress boots chewed to a pulp, and grave enough Master Jack looked that time. I only wished his belongings had suffered oftener; but unluckily he took precions good care to keep them out of the wav. Jack and I were poor enough, but we had rich relations. Jack had an uncle, Mr. I'hilip l'helps, and I an aunt, Clar ice vaugnan, botli of whom had de clared their intention of leaving us their respective heirs. Aunt Clarice was a childless widow, and Uncle Philip a bachelor. Both of them were peculiar in their way, and1 full of whims and " fads." We had never been able to en tertain them hitherto, but as soon as we were settled in our own house each of them had promised us a visit. It was time for Uncle Philip's arrival soon after Jack brought home that wretched dog. uncjo rnnip baa always seemed very fond of me, and I resolved to appeal to hiui privately to induce Jack to banish the homd thing from tho house. Uncle Philip was stout and rubicund. with a bald piuk head fringed with white hair, and a laughiDg bluo eve two of them, in fact. Unluckily for my private plans, he took most kindlv to Hero from the first ; and as I watched the softenincr of his eye over the pup's clumsy gam- uois, i reaiizea tn.ai uny attempt to in fluence him as I desired would be ut teily in vain. We were all collected in tho back parlor on tho niarht of his ar rival, he bitting in a large easy-chair in the window. Ho was just Kivincr us a graphic description of a recent visit to New Mexico, when he started, and clap- pea ins nana to ins Head, with a sudden ejaculation. " I thought you told me you had no mosquitoes here," he said, with a puz zled air. Neither had we, as Jack and I both assured him, and alter a moment he took up tho thread of his narrative. Crack ! another slap at his bald head, and an other break in his tale. Crack ! crack ! crack ! " What do you mean by denying mosquitoes ?" he cried, indignanty. " I knoAV that mosquitoes and malaria are two things that the inhabitants of a swamp will never confess to; but I thought that you two were above such weaknesses." Our earnest, "But, indeed, dear uncle," was suddenly interrupted by a sudden flutter of wings, and a douche of cold water exactly on tho center of Undo Philip's head. Jack sprang to his feet. "It's those beastly birds, Madge," ho said. " They've been chucking their seeds at Uncle Philip, and now they've finished up with a shower-bath. Tak ing their bath in their drinking-cup, too, the little brutes ! It's too bad, I vow !" Uncle Tliilip was silent, but his face, as he glared at the cage overhead, was a study. I apologized, eagerly, abjectly, and, I hoped, to some purpose. Then we adjourned to the front parlor, und finished the evening quietly. Uncle I'hilip 'was uj bright and early the next morning. I was surprised to find him in the dining-room when I went down, before tho bell rang, to see that the tablo was properly set. Hero was beside him, blinking up with his great stupid eyes, one big paw laid upon Uncle Philip's knee, and his red tongue lolling out idiotically. Uncle Philip greeted me affectionately, though, I fancied,' with rather an air of constraint. "Did you sleep well, Uncle Philip?" I asked. Undo Philip hesitated. "It was quiet enough most of the night," he said, " but 1 wan somewhat disturbed toward morning." " Not used to the city noises ?" 1 asked ; but Jack, who had come in be hind me, laughed. " Nonsense, Madge !" he said. " Vou forget that Uncle Philip lives in Chi cago, which is not exactly country. It was all those birds of yours again. Undo Philip's room is directly over my study, and tho things tuned up at day light, as usual. Nobody could sleep in such a confounded racket. Now con fess, Uncle Philip, was not that the trouble V" "Why, Jack!" I said, half-crying. " It is too bad of you. The little dar lings couldn't disturb anybody with their singing, and you know there is nut another window in the house where , they can hang. Uncle Philip's is tho only other east room, and they must have the morning sun." " Oh, pray don't disturb your arrange ments on my account," said Uncle Philip, rather grimly. "No doubt I shall get used to it in the course of time." Just here Hero made a diversion by an unexpected and successful spring at tho chop on Jack's jdate, with which he vanished through the back door, while Uncio Philip and Jack laughed and ap plauded. Uncle Philip stayed with us less than a week, growing daily more silent and testy. When, on the fifth day, he an nounced his intention of leaving us, I could not feel deeply grieved; but Jack was. " It is all very well for you," he said. " Uncle Philip is no relation of yours, and you have no old claims of affection and kinship pulling at you. It is not his money, as you very well know, but he is the last one of my mother's family left, and to have him driven out of his nephew's house by those ridiculous pets of yours well, it's hard, and no mis take." "Nonsense, Jack! The birds have nothing to do with it," I said; but Jack shrugged his shoulders. "All right," he said; "but a man of Uncle Philip's age and habits can't stand being wakened at daylight every morn ing, and disturbed at all hours of the day and night besides." "I don't disturb him," I said. "You do," said Jack. "You spend your whole time prancing up and down stairs, opening and shutting: the window just below his room, because you fancy that those blessed birds are dving of too mncn or ioo nttie air. "But Jack," I said "the poor little things are sitting, and they need con stant care. You wouldn't have me let them die, would you ? " " I'd have you consider the comfort of human beings before that of animals," said Jack. " However, the thing is done how. Nothing would induce Uncle rhilip to spend another night here. He has business to attend to in the citv, hough, and has taken board in Ninth! street for a few weeks." I was sony that Jack was vexed, ol course, but I really could not feel very unhappy at losing a guest so utterly unfeeling and inconsiderate. Besides, Aunt Clarice had written to ask when it would be convenient for us to re ceive her, and she could now come as soon as she felt inclined. It was the very day after Uncle Philip left that I found Jou-jou, the female bird, lying dead upon the floor. My first idea was that ifc was a mean pieco of vengeance upon Jack's part, and I taxed him with it, but he denied it indignantly. " I'm not such a brute as you seem to think, Madge," he 6aid.' "I don't like the birds, but I wouldn't hurt o feather of their tails. Look here, though," as ho poked - out with the point of his penknife something that had lodged in the beak. " Hero is what did the mischief. Stolen from my desk, too, by Jove ! A clear case of poetic justice." It was a tiny bit of red wafer which he held out for me to examine, and of course I had to acknowledge that it had alone caused the catastrophe. I buried my little pet mournfully, and thought of bringing another to replace her, but Jack put his veto upon uny such pro ceeding. " But, Jack," I said," " Bijou will die of loneliness." "Let him," said Jack,' savagely, and that was all. Well, Bijou didn't die of loneliness. On the contrary, after reflecting on the situation for a few davs, ho plucked up heart, and launched himself into such a torrent of rollicking song that Jack was more frantic than ever. Not even the melancholy sight of the nesti'ul of cold little blueish speckled eggs seemed to dash his gayety in the least. To tell the truth, I was slightly disgusted (though I would have died before I would have told Jack so), for, try as I might, I could not persuade myself that that triumphant,' rollicking, gurgling song bore the slightest 'resemblance to a wail of d spair. We saw Uncle Philip tolerably often, though he no longer staid with us. I noticed, however, that ho could with difficulty be persuaded to enter the back parlor. Even the sound of Bijou's singing, which penetrated tho closed doors, made him start and wince in a manner which was simply absurd, though ho never said anything. We were in daily expectation of Aunt Clarice's arrival, the date of which was not quite certain, as she was staying with friends who continually urged her to prolong her visit. After the day for her coming to us had been three times fixed and as often postponed, I made up my mind not to expect her until I saw her. Consequently I had dismissed all thoughts of her from my mind. I was sitting at my sewing one morning when Jane came up to tell me that a lady was in the parlor, who declined to send up her name. " An agent, no doubt," I said. " I wish you had asked her business, Jane. But no matter; I must go down soon, to shut up Bijou, in any case." So I sewed on tranquilly until I had finished the piece of work on which I was engaged, and then ran down-stairs, humming a blitho little tune as I went. I never finished that tune, though; for the first thing my eyes fell upon in the hull was Aunt Clarico. Yes, Aunt Clar ice, sitting demurely , in the hall chair, but with no very dtuiure expression u)on her face. On the contrary, it was a much agitated and disheveled Aunt Clarice upon whom I looked an Annt Clarice who appeared equally divided between tears and indignation, and who met my astonished gaze with one full of wrathful meaning. " Dear Aunt Clarice 1" I cried. " Who ever dreamed of seeing you to-day? Why in the world didn't you go into the parlor, even if Jano hadn't sense enough to take you there ? That girl's blunders are really beyond anything." " Don't scold the girl," said Aunt Cla rice, grimly: "it's not her fault. She took me in there fast enough; but if peo ple will turn their parlors into menageries they car. hardly expect their friends to stav in them " Menageries ! Dear Aunt Clarice," I i cried, " I never thought you would mind j poor Bijou too. You're as bad as Uncle I Philip." ! Aunt Clarice turned slightly red. " If that's your idea of a bijou," she said," I hfcve no more to say;" and she began to gather up her belongings as if she medi tated instant flight. "But dear Aunt Clarice," I cried, " don't be so frightened ! I was just go ing to shut him up, for he has been out quite long enough" (" I should think so" said Aunt Clarice). " But I never knew that you minded birds so much." ' " Birds 1" said Aunt Clarice, with an in describable intonation. "But I do mind birds very much such birds as this; birds that walk on four legs and wag their tails and make grabs at your ankles." " Aunt Clarice," I cried, "it's Hero that you mean Jack's great, horrid dog. Do you mean to say that he is in the par for? Oh dear! what shall I do? Jack says that there is no harm in him, but he always dances and grins at us so. How shall we ever get him out, for neither Jane nor I dare touch him ?" Aunt Clarice had relaxed slightly when she found that I had nothing to do with Hero's presence in the parlor, and now she began to laugh. " Don't trouble yourself about getting him out," she said. " He is safe enough there, for I shut the door upon him. He kept quiet until Jane had gone, but as soon as I was left quite alone and tin protected, he floundered out from under the very sofa that I was sitting upon, and danced and grinned' at me, until I fairly took to my heels. Now I'll go up stairs and take my things cff." Jack only laughed when I complained to him of Hero's escapade, said that as my pet had the ran of his study it was only fair that his should have the run of the rest of the house. He positively re fused to chain him, or even to keep him in the yard or cellar, as I implored him to do, if only on Aunt Clarice's account. " No, no," he said, " my relations have had their turn ; it is time that yours took their share now." Of course when Hero had once found his way upstairs, there was an end of everything. Nothing would induce him to stay down after that.' It is my belief that ho had found out some way of worming himself through keyholes, for no amount of locking and barring would keep him out. Tho worst of it was he took a violent liking to Aunt Clarice. Or rather I am inclined to think that ho found her irresistibly teosable, and was deep and artful enough to pre tend a linn confidence in her fondness and admiration for him. At all events, wherever Aunt Clarice was, Hero was sure to be somewhere near. If she sat down upon a sofa Hero wriggled out from nnaer it; u she entered a room Hero bounced at her from behind the door; nay, her he even secreted himself i at night, for the ex-! under bed press purpose of coming out in the small hours and wakening her by the contact of his cold nose and his warm ; wet tongue. After she had twice aroused ' the whole household by her wild shrieks , at these uncanny visits, Aunt Clarice ; mildly but firmly unnonnecd her deter-' initiation. " My dear Madge," she said, " I am I very fond of you; I am fond of Jack, ' too; but really a man who keeps such u : wild beast about his house is fit only ! for Bedlam. I. can't expect you to turn j him out for me, so I have decided to ' turn myself out for him. I am not J quite ready to go home yet, so I have taken board for a few weeks where I shall be quite comfortable." Jack only laughed, and said, " Tit for tat," when ho heard of Aunt Clarice's departure. He laughed still more when, on comparing notes, we found that sho : and Uncle Philip w ere inhabitants of the i same boarding-house in Ninth street a , curious coincidence, certainly, but not worth going into hysterics about. It j really seemed as if Jack would never get over it. Every now and then, during the w hole evening, ho would suddenly throw lnmsell back, kick up his heels in the most undignified manner, and roar. I When I asked him his reason for such ! behavior, he w ould say only, " Uncle I Philip and Aunt Clarice! ho! ho! ho!" And for davs the mention of either name I would bring a most absurd and diaboh- cul grin to his fuce, which was a iiand- some enough ono in general. III. It was rather curious, I thought, that since Aunt Clarico had left us so abruptly we had seen nothing either of her or of Uncle I'hilip, although more than a week had passed. Aunt Clarice was always out or so the servants said when I called; and as for her, she had never once crossed our threshold since that unlucky day. I was justj expressing my feelings upon the subject to Jack, with Bijou hopping about the carpet at my feet, when the door-bell rang, and Jane brought in the morning's mail. There was only one letter, and that I saw in a moment to be from Aunt Clarice. "High time, I think 1" I said, as I tore it open. Then, in another mo ment, and with a shriek, "Jack, look here!" This is what Jack looked at: " Mr dear Madge I have not seen you for the last week because I was try ing to make up my minds whether or not to be an old fool, and in such cases the fewer witnesses ono has, the hotter. I've decided at last, whether for better or for worse, remains to be Been. Per haps you know that Jack's Uncle Philip rhelps and I are old friends, and meet ing now and all Well, the long and short of it ifJ tlmt ve h&ye' made up our minds to be married. " That is all at present from " Your attached aunt, " Clarice Vacohas." " P.M. If Master Jack and you hadn't seen fit to turn your house into a me nagerie, it wou'ld't have happened. A mutual hatrct of pets was our tirst bond of union." I was crying by the time Jack had finished the letter, and even he looked grave, though there was a most exaspe rating twinkle in his eye. "Good-bye to on "r fortunes," little woman," he said. 1 "Oh, Jack! Jack!" I cried. "And j to think it was all the doing of that hate i ful dog !" "Not at all, said Jack; "my dog hadn't half as much to do with it as your birds. If they hadn't driven Uncle Philip out of the house, there would have been no room in it for Aunt Clarice, and in that case they might never have met again." "Nonsense!" I cried, indignantly. " If it hadn't been for the dog, Aunt Clarice w ould have been here safe and sound at this minute. I've a great mind to poison him." Jack suddenly grew very stern. "If you do, I'll wring tho neck of your miserable bird," he said. I hod never seen Jack look so angry, nor anything like so angry, before, and for one minute I stopped short in abso lute terror; then But before I could speak there was a hasty scuffle on the stairs, and Hero in person rushed into the room. Bijou lilted his head and fluttered his wings, but he was too late. In another instant Hero had pounced upon the tempting plaything. There was a strangled squeak, an agonized gasp, and poor Bijou had disappeared bodily down the gaping red throat, and Hero was on his back, kicking convul sively, while I rushed screaming from the room. : IV. Of course Jack and I " embraced with tears," after the double tragedy. Neither of us could accuse the other, you see, for if his pet had killed mine, mine had proved equally fatal to his. Then and there we forsworo all future division of interests, whether in the shape of peta or anything else. Uncle Philip and Aunt Clarice Phelps proved to be the most cheerful and con tented of elderly couples. It seems that it is an old love affair. Jack knew of it all along, which was the reason of his profane laughter when he found that they had established themselves in the same house. Thev were engaged when both were young, ut quarreled. Aunt Clarice married Mr. Vaughan out of pique, w hile Undo Philip remained a bachelor for her sweet sake. Wn are thoroughly reconciled now, i and stranger things have happened than that we should be their heirs after all.' Iltirpcr's Biuui: A Sure Cure. Some twenty years ago, when (ueeu Victoria visited Paris, the prefect of the Seine intrusted tho preparations and decorations for the reception to a well known architect. On the momentous day the official thanked tho architect warmly for the talent and energy ho had so conspicu ously displayed, and the architect was inspired to ask as his recompense the honor of presentation to the queen. "Impossible, my dear fellow, with such ix beard us that," was the reply, "but shave yourself like a Christian and I'll be only too glad." All day long the architect wavered between desire for the honor and de votion to his hair, but at the last mo ment desire got the upper hand, and he submitted himself to the burlier. At the Hotel tie Yille he stuck dose to the prefect; the queen swept in, the presentations were made not including the architect tho queen swept out and ull was over. "Whv didn't vou keep vour proin- iseV nsked the architect, in savage de- spai " promise .' What promise, sir t re plied the prefect, haughtily. " To present mo to her majesty." "Whut!" exclaimed the traitor, "was that vou? Bless mv soul, my dear fel- I low, you see you made, such a guy of J yourself by shaving oil your board that I never recognized you !" Women us Bank Clerks. Women havo been employed as clerks in the Stockholm Euskilda bank, Stock holm, Sweden, for sixteen years, and A. O.Wallenberg, a director, writes: Since tho fourth of July, 1864, sixteen young ladies have been engagod in the" bank. Of these there are still in the service of the bank, eight; married and left, five; advanced to more remunerative positions in other institutions, two; dismissed for inaptitude, one. Of those remaining, three are cashiers on their own respon sibility, one is asistunt to the keeper of the head ledger, und four hold inferior positions.