r
Rates of Advertising,
On:qnre (I lueli,,i.p lii-rtion -OnoHqimro
" one month -
One Hanaro " tlirp.H month -
IS runLWHEO EVEKY WKDNK.SDAY, !!T
crriOE n eobihooh & mwzm udd.diko-
TIT, "J BTBIiLT, TIONKJTA, PA.
. .'. i.h
- o ,1
10 Ot
Ifi '0
- :iu ( i.
. ,-.0 ( t.
ju t o
Ono Hqtiaro " J '
Two S'(H(re, one year - .. -
QniirlerCoI. "
Half " " - -
One " " ' "
K RMS. tl. 50 YEAR.
Mo Suit
Itlurriagaand dentil notice, crati.
All bills lor vrhrlv advertisements or.,..
' lected quarterly. Temporary fwlver'.we
inonts must be paid for in nlv:ui .
Job worn. a-n on 1'''!ivet.V.
for .
!tCf
1 CoiTPHp,nl..i-c Fi(.ll'lt(if1 rroni till parts
f of tlx. country. No iwui.-o will bo taken of
-.-iiouymoua communications.
li'f'n Diai! htj
VOL. XIII NO. 49. TIOKESTA, PA., MARCH 2,1881. $1,50 Per Annum.
-
JM , i . , ,., i ... i i- -, n -- , , - ' " T
5
1.
a
-4 r
I " if"1 j"
if :
Ml
f ir - T
Over a Million
: Frol.Coilmctts's
. FltKNCH
VKiflney Pafls
' Have already
3 been iold inthia
' country and in
France; every
one oi which has
given perfect
satisfaction and
has performed
enrea every time
when lined ac
cording to direc
tions.
VTe cow any to the afflicted and doubling ones
that we wi'l pay the above reward
for a tingle ease ol
LA back
i
That the Fad Ir3i to cure. ThU Great Rem
edy, will positively and permanently orrre
Lumbago, Lame Hack, Sciatica, Gravel, Dia
betes, Dropsy, Urights Di.ease of the Kid
neys, Incontinence and Retention of the
Urine, Intlamrnntion of the Kidney, Catarrh
ot the Bladder, High Colored Urine, Pain in
the Back. 8irt mr- Loins. Nervous Weakness,
end in (act all dUorders ol the Bladder and
Uiinry Organs, whether oontraoted by pri
vate (i'Mwae or otherwise.
LV 'DIES, it yon are Buffering from Female
WenkneaB, Lenoorrhea, or any cusps oi ins
Kid (toys. Bladder er Urinary Organ.,
YOU CAN BS CURED I
Witfioat swallowing nansewos medioine, by
imply wearing
rPOF, HUILMETTE'S
FUZUCH KIDNEY PAD,
k jrmt Arnjcgtst for Proi. Guilraeite's
loh Kidney Pad, and take no other. 11
e not rot to, tend 82 and you will receive
fad by rstara mail.
TsrmoiriAta noH ram noru.
ids Bnahanan, Lawyer, Toledo, (X, says:
ol Prof. Qnllmette's French Kidney
t is oared mm of Lualgo in three week'
in. My eaMi had been given np by tbe beet
or m ineniable. During all thu time I
urea nntoia Bgway asa pu i oat large lami
k money."
one Ten. S. r ioieoo, w., tay.i i
red Wfee yean with ciatioa and KiH.
Diaw. .vna tta bad to go ationt on
Vies. I a enui-blv and permanently
t ' I aiMM wearmc rroi. uuuinetie a rrenen
1 wwma
ire a. V. Boota. Byivanta, u., write
bee , treat tnDerer tor 1 year
IBrktxt's Umm ot the Kidneys. For
1 . .. --
7 j si i wm wma nnuii to ini odl hi -im :
1 ieia'oiflSr thty gave me
"".irary rehiSf. I wore two of Pro I.
.La Kidoevrada aiz weeka, and 1
An-m I am andrelv oared."
Helen Jerome, Toledo, O., eyt "For
It have been eonflned, a great part of the
to aay bed with Lenoorrhea and Female
Kneae. I wore one oi Gailmette's Kidney
and was eared in one month.
!-. WXWU, nwuww , j j
- I offered U yeara with lame
' 1 i three weeka waa permaneatly
I wearina one of Prof. Guilmettea
- "hida."
"y keealina;, M. D., DrngRiat, Lorana.
i- ex when aendina in an order lor Kid-
' ?S -Ilea: I wore one of the llrrt
,.n n ,fru I ever nsed : in fact the Pads
e better general aatiaiaeuon man any aju
hmiiI wa aver tola.
'. i r t... tt
:y s snoemaaer, i-i"BK'i """.""t
,r VmAm. and are hearing or good reaoiu
ri uiem vtot
orealebyO W BOVARD, Tioneata, Pa.
CENTS,
P08TPAH
TREATISE
H TU.M Hftlil
H1G DIGEAGII
1 Contalalng an Index of Sl.
.e.,whlch sl-roa t jri
toina, Cwt 4 tJi It
Treatment of A. Tabl.
Utvlnjt all tlaa prtlpal arn
umd for llar-e.wttia ta
) ordinary does, offeota, and
m.nt jte rrlaen a A.
v. -.- Via wltn an Jiaa;ra-rlnsi of
' FJJ Horse's Ttl a dlfTer
I 'Bea with Kuls. tell
the age. . T-alnalla ool
Ion of Ileoelpta suad
U other valuakl lnfor-
lon
nt poet
Id to
T ad-
e In the United Httatee or
adafor25CErJTO.
OLUB IIATE3:
Oopies "
Oopi.ts
riMunUfwa Coplwt
ti.eo
s.oo
10.00
the n,
ca,!t. EEVSP1FES DKIOH,
I CO Worth St.. II. Y.
i nil
t .- 77 V wsa -ono
WB
The FarBiers' Banner
Upheld by hand wade brown with toil,
And hearU both true and tried,
Oh, patient tiller of the soil
(The nation' heart and pride),
Send o'er bih hill and valley wide
The gladsome word oi right,
Thnt farmer in their humble home
F'ave mnjosty and tni(ht.
. Then monarch proud shall honor,
: And blessing on yon shed,
For to the humble fariner
They look lor daily bread;
Yet need ye not to covot
The prinoe's power and wealth,
For orowna contain no jewel
Compared to peace and health.
Vonr wealth consist oi meadow green
.And fields of waving grain;
' Your homes made neat by labor sweet,
Prove you've not lived in vain.
Then hail to the iarmors' banner,
From war and bloodstain free!
May peace, good-will and charity
Its motto ever be.
A QUEER VALENTINE.
" I'lishkin, plushkin, pelican gee,
We think no birds so fluffy as we;
Pli.hkin, plushkin, pelican gill,
We think bo then we thought so still.
Gertrude WinthroD looked rather be
wildered as these sounds issued from the
door which the servant opened for her.
They're rum ones," whispered the
girl.
Two children were hopping about
the room as they sang the strange gih-
b i ish given above. Ono was a keen,
sallow-laced boy of nine; the other a
Cretty, fair-haired girl of seven. The
r.y had a hat on with a bunch of di
la pidtitcd cock's feathers in it. The girl
wore a long ostrich plume, and various
setups of red flannel pinned here and,
there on her dress.
"Oh, hallo I we're pelicans," cried
the boy, in no way abashed; "that's
the pelican choras."
You're precious picKies, mat's woe
tou tire," Baid Jane. " If .ever I see sich
im bs of the "
She hesitated out of respect for the
stronger.
Ocitiudc surveyed ner ciiarges.ana tney
in trim bestowed on her an unflinching
8tlV..
"What are your namesr' she asked,
softly; "I am going to bo with you,
aim t. acn you. you Know.
wily 1 " said tne boy, "wouian t .
bo larks if you never iound out! then
you coulfln t call us, you Know. And
tt you cidn't call us wo wouldn't have
to rome."
Ufit I can easily nnd out."eaid Uer-
trude, with a laugh; "so you had better
be gentlemanly and answer my ques
tion." "My name's Roderick, but they call
me K.xl. ller name s mna, out i cau
her Kiunv. 'cos she's a numbskull all
girls re numbbkulls."
1 Jis is vour room, ma'am," ex-
claivjt d Jane, opening a door and going
in When Gertrude stood atlier side
she turned the key.
Seel you kin do tniswnenyou want
to be alone; and you'll bless the -min
utes you it Irom mat pair.
I'm goin' to leave to-morrer
as I give warnen regular an' my life
wore out with them two young imps
Bavin' jourprcsense which you'll find
'em out, soon enough; and I wouldn't
prejudice you agin 'em beforehand ; and
that cantankerous old cat, either, down
below oh, they're a sweet lot "
" Hush !" said Gertrude. " I cannot
listen to such"
Well, I'll say a cood word for Ma9ter
Eric," said J. , turning to go; "he
knows how to treat poor girl. He's a
gentleman more the pity he's to be
thrown away on that flibberty gibbet
Miss Francia, as is no better nor a"
"There, there 1" cried Gertrude, as
the children were pummeling at the
door, "you may go now thank you."
There were two or three scratched-up
desks and some torn books, alao a globe
over which strange maps had been
smeared with ink and red paint.
" Well. Roderick." she said, turning
to her little subjects, who had most mu
tinous laces, " what do you study r
"Ohl when I feel like study, I like
Roman hibtory best. I'm goin' to be a
heathen and worship Jupiter. 1 built
an altar to him the other day ; got one
of Francia l)ormer9 white boxes, and
printed ' Jupiter Ave lmperatore' on it,
and made a pile of sticks and matches,
and poiued cologne over it for incense,
and. golly t ho w it burned ! That was a
sacrifice, you see; and Irancia says
she'll sacrifice me the next lime I med
dle with her things. 1 Baid to her:
' i'rancia, you've got no feeling lor Ro
man hiatory.' "
"I am a heathen, too' cried Nina.
"You ain't; you're a Christian."
cried Rod, as if he were hurling at htra
moat opprobrious epithet.
' I 1 won't be a Christian all alone!"
cried Nina, with a roar.
'tllntlnl Wh.'aihirnmm? What's
the row?" cried a good-natured voice,
and a verv hands me vounsr man en
tered rather hurriedly, and btoppod
short at tbe sight of Gertrude.
' They want to be heathens," said
Gertrude, with an embarrassed smile.
" Well, I venture to say it would be
hard to find two greater youne heathens
in our enlightened country. Excuse me
for bursting in so uncermoniously. I
wanted to quench uieae y.ungsters'
noise. My mother"
. Oh, I forgot," answered Gertrude,
ncr vouaiy ; ' she especially spoke of her
dis'ike to noise. In a little lime I shall
.earn "
brio was forgetting everything even
the two young savagis who were swarm
ing up on fciai in looking at the won
derful beautv of this young girl's face.
Suiely. if Mrs.Chumleigh had seen that
face in anything bat thu half darkness
in which nhe deputed, fehe would never
huvo brought Gertrude Winthrop into
he house.
"Well. Eric, what are you about P"
cried a merry voice. " Going to wollop
nod r I'll go in tor tnat, as ue used up
a good bottle of my Frangipani in his
slat incantation."
And a little dark, brilliant-looking
creature, in black giuze and amber,
fluttered in, and etared rather supercili
ously at Gertrude.' She. reminded our
heroine somehow, of some brilliant
South American insect, there was so
much flash and color about her .
Her only real beauty was in her eyes,
which were large, intensely black and
shining, but also, at present, a little
malicious ; for Francia Dormer took in
i at a glance Gertrude's beauty, and she
was hot yet secure of Eric Chumleigh's
Heart.
She nodded carelessly.
"The governess, 1 suppose P Come,
Eric, the count is downstairs, and
wants to consult you about something
whether tomatoes will grow in
Saxony, I believe. He has learned to
dote on them, and wishes a garden oi
them around his castle."
Erid took leave with, a polite bow,
and Rod, who had been silent for the
I space of five minutes, said :
" l hate Francia Dormer, tone s a
snake!"
Gertrude kept the irrepressible ones
quiet till their tea time with her inven
tions. She had some talent in that line,
and felt glad and relieved to find that
she held a most potent weapon to be
uped in her new kingdom.
Rod had really an active mind, and
she won him by her praise; Nina fol
lowed his example ; and when he found
he could gain the pleasure of hearing a
story by diligence, he began to apply
himself.
Eric said the children were growing
so tolerable he quite enjoyed looking in
on thf rn once in u while; to which Rod
replied : " What makes you look at
Mis, Gertrude all the time, then !"
Gertrude blushed, and began to feel
uncomfortable about the visits.
Sometimes Geitrude was requested to
come down in the evening to play, and
then she saw Bertha and her betrothed.
The elder sister was too busy just now
to look into the schoolroom. Her in
tended. Von Arnheim, who was an
officer in the Prussian army, was a
rather stolid-looking German, , with
scant blonde hair, good natured blue
eyes and a beaming smile. Bertha was
sallow, but had fine dark eyes and
dazzlinu white teeth.
Sometimes Francia bestowed ' her
company and confidence on Gertrude;
at others she assumed haughty and dis
tant airs. , She delighted in outre
toilets -ore the' most wondtrful com
binatici.j, glowed and glittered like
some rare tropical bird. So the months
went on of?.hat winter, and the wedding
day drew near.
"How do I lookP" exclaimed Francia
one night a? she opened tbe schoolroom
door. "GoodP I hoped the imps were
in bed. Heavens and earth how I bate
children! I pity you, Mis9 Winthrop!
I suppose you dream of an escape some
day ! some fairy prince will open your
prison witn a goioen seyi"
"No; I expect nothing," answered
Gertrude. "I am trying to cultivate
the spirit which Tennyson eulogizes :
" Not to desire or admire is better by far
Then to walk all day like the sultans of old in
a r T"1 tiTi rF anion " '
"Go away, Francia Dormer," cried
Rod, from the next room. " You keep
me awake with your chatter. You're
worse than a nightmare."
"Oh, you angel! are you awakeP"
cried the girl. "Then good-bye. Miss
Winthrop. Comfort Is at an end. You'll
have, the house to yourselves to-morrow ;
we're oil' on an excursion, all of us. The
snow is just right, so hard and white
bah ! what a poor fire you have." And
she disappeared.
" Sho has everything," thought Ger
trude, "beauty and fortune " (she had
heard fabulous accounts of Francia's
estates in Cuba), "and she will win
Eric at last who can doubt it P"
Still Gertrude, remembering certain
words and looks, did doubt it in her
heart. The next morning, when the
party whirled away and she saw Eric
tuck in the sables about Francia, and
heard the cheery soKBd ot their voices,
the old schoolroom looked very co'd
and bare; and she took up tne dogs
eared history very absently.
Enter Betsey with a note and a bouquet
cream whim rnmelias, blue heliotrope
and crimson bouvardia.
"Sure they was both left thegither,
but they're not after belongin' thegither,
as the post-by brought the letther."
Gertrude dropped the history nnd
gloated over the flowers in delight. She
had never owned a bouquet of hot-house
flowers before, and tnen sne knew
whose kind heart had remembered her
when all the others were absorbed in
their own pleasure. It seemed as if
they would make the whole day fra
grant. She had almost forgotten the
nolo.
There was only one person iu the
world to write to her, so she opened
the note leisurely as those do who have
little to hope or fear. But as she read
she started anxiously. Betsey had not
left the room.
" Oh. I must go," she said, decidedly.
" I shall have to give the children a holi
day; 1 shall have to leave them in your
care. My aunt is very sick and alone.
I will return this evening if I can ar
range things. You will explain to Mrs.
Chumleigh if I am not here ."
" Sure and I wull that. ' said the girl
good-naturedly, " and a holiday wilt do
the young wons good."
"Golly, a holiday!" cried Rod, in
great ecstasy. "Oh, I've got a famous
nlan!"
"No micbief," said Geitrude, anx
iously ; " 1 shall think of you."
"Oh, we'll be quiet; you'll be so
pleased!" exclaimed the boy, with a do
cility that would have alarmed Gertrude
if she could have stopped to think about
it.
As it was, she hurried her prepara
tions only remembering to take the
flowers with her, as she thought they
might cheer the sick room, to say noth
ing of her own reluctance to lose sight
ci them.
Her ride In the cars lasteu only half
an hour, and she found herself before the
little brown cottage which was the only
home she remembered, as she had been
left an orphan to this aunt's care in her
earliest childhood. Poor and plain as
everything appeared a thrill came over
her at sight of it, and she hurried with
real anxiety into the house, whose door
stood onen.
pale.
Aunt Rachel was in bed, and a neigh
bor's eirl had come in to wait on her
The old woman had a sweet, patient
face, and her eves liehted un as she Baw
the young girl in whom all her love and
earthly hopes were centered.
"I feared I had done wrong to send
for you," Bhe said, " but there was a
little business to settle. Do you know,
mv love, the age of miracles is not
overP"
Gertrude smiled and held her aunt'B
wastpd hand verv fondlv.
" I've told you that the houle all I
have might be taken away from me any
time. What do you think of my having
a couple of thousand sent me yesterday
-enough to pay off the mortgage, and
kavo me five hundred dollars!"'
" I sliould;say you dreamed it, auntie."
' Look in the top bureau drawer, and
von will see the check. I think the sur
prise and joy of it has been too much
for me. To think Jamie has remembered
me now that his fortune is made in
India! Mv eodson. vou know."
Gertrude had tho check in her hands,
and viewed it with delight.
" You see. mv love, the action to fore
close the mortgage has just commenced,
and I could not rest a moment till this
business waa arranged. You can do it
for me, and Bess here will keep me com
pany. '
Gertrude was ouite relieved to find
that it was anxiety more than illness
which had prostrated her aunt; tnd she
at once set about performing her task,
which she did by calling on an old
friend a lawyer to aid her. She had
the satisfaction of leaving the old lady
dm and comfortable in the evening.
She found it quite dark when she
reached the house, and felt a symptom
of rt-lief thnt the family were not yet
returned. The children, to her surprise,
were in bed, a state ot affairs which she
did not doubt had been accompiisned
by bribery.
Rut the silence and rest were never
triples sweet, and she satsdown to the
hemming of some interminable ruffles
with which Mrs. Chumleigh kindly
kept her employed. After a time -shut
ting ot doors, laughter and gleaming
lights woke up the quiet house, but no
one disturbed her.
The next morning Francia swooped
in mat as lessons dp can.
" Well, vou look serene," she said
"Do you know there's an earthquake
downstairs P"
" Oh. what a fibber vou are, Francia
Dormer !' cried Rod, indignantly. " It
there was an earthquake it would hove
us all up.'r
" Well, look out ! Bad boys getswal-.
lowed the first thing," said Francia.
"This, however, is a financial one.
Thay've lost ten thousand dollars in
coupons."
Ix)stP" questioned Gertrude.
" Yes ; just fancy Bertha's dowry !
It's been stolen, and, what's worse, Von
Arnheim won't be married without it.
He is desolated, but lirm; it's the law
of Vaterland."
Francia was iu?t bs careless, as in
souciant and smiling, as she talked, of
this loss, as if it had been a pleasant bit
ol possip.
Gertrude, with her ready sympathy,
waa on the point of asking several ques
tions, when she noticed the open-eyed
children.
" Oh, I forgot. I was to ask you to
step down into the library," exclaimed
Francia; and then, alter popping a
sugar plum into the children's faces, she
danced away.
Gertrude went down with a feeling
that she was to be called to account tor
her absence the day before but quilt
convinced that her reasons would sat
isfy any right minded person. So she
met Mrs. Chunileigh with a face so se
rene that the aforesaid lady was some
what stazeerert in the belief to which
she had rapidly come within the last
hour.
" I hear and must say I am exceed
ingly annoyed to hear Miss Wintlirop,"
the ladv began, with extreme acidity.
" that you absented yourself the wuolo
ot yesterday from your duties without
lnno Wan tliisi n. nrpmndi!tprl f liTnirP"
leave. Was this a premeditated thmgr
"Certainly not," Gertrude bexan,
impulsively ; and then as rapidly al
possible explained the affair.
"Do you know what ha happened
herer" asked the lady.
"About the coupons?" asked Ger
trude. " Yes; it's a robbery, you know.'
" I scarcely understood. I am sorry
it is a great loss," said the gill.
" It was taken by some one in the
house," Mrs. Chumleigh went on, ex
citedly. "My desk was opened, the
coupons taken and the desk relocked,
the key put in tue usual place." and sue
fixed a penetrating glance on Gertrude's
face as she spoke, and added, after a
second's silence: "It was taken yester
day after we left the house."
Even then Gertrude listened with a
polite sympathy, without feeling any
direct reference to herself in the case.
" My servants I know thoroughly,"
Mrs. Chumleigh went on. Even Bet
sev. the last comer, has lived with me
before, and I cannot suspect them, only
of course they must all be seaiched.
You must feel, Mrs. Winthrop. that cir
cumstances are somew hat against you
you leave tne House in such an account
able manner "
Gertrude's face flushed
"Shame on you, Mrs. Chumleigh.
You insult me because I am poor, be-
cause I have no one "
Eric opened the door with a mad burst
at this moment, and caught the sound
of these last words.
"No oneP" he cried. "You have
me! I have heard these insane suspi
cions. Mother, you are mad! I stake
my life upon this young lady's honor
Why do you not suspect me P "
Mrs. Chumleigh faltered and turned
My son, what have you to do wiib
this vounir person ''
" I have this to do with her," ne
cried, impetuously. " I wish to make
her my wile, if sue can care enougu tor
me."
"My God!" exclaimed Mrs. Chum
leigh, falling back in a half faint.
"Nice time for your declaration,"
cried Francia Dormer, who had heard
these words, and now hurried in with
restoratives, her own face ashen pale,
but still with a malicious gleam in the
eyes; " at all events you won't be able
to get a recommendation for your wife
from her last place! "
By this ti i.e Von Arnheim riad come
in, and Bertua. 10 uertruae tue room
seemed full of staring, talking people.
Sho stood among them like a queen.
tall, erect, with undaunted eye, bit a
fierce nain at her heart
Mrs. tliumieigu opened ner eyes to
say, tragically:
"Search her tilings i ' and men sanK
away again.
Von Arnheim, with true politeness,
said: .
"It vill not be veil to suspicioneu
soroeones mit not no grounds to sand
on," which was very lucid, but not
much calculated to console ieriruae,
mi the whole. Bertha sat crying in one
corner husband and fortune and coro
net all to disappear like tne baseless
fabric of a vision. Oh, it was too
much I .. .
Von Arnheim, who was really not
mercenary, strove to comiort ner.
Gertrude walked up to tne nursery
unchallenged, and sat down in the
empty room. The children naa Doen
spirited away somewnere me wuom
house was in commotion.
Erlc'9 wordB, so strangely sweet,
seemed somehow to span this sudden
storm like a rainbow but never, never
would she listen to him while there was
a shadow on her good name.-
It was not hard to search the meager
contents of Gertrude's trunk; but every
thing was tumbled out in a summary
way, pockets examined, even linings
ripped, and she heard some one say,
"Wots the use, sne went out jesier
day," with a feeling of desperate, ex
asperation. .
She laid back her clothes, all of them,
sadly, for there was nothing now to do
but to go. She strapped her trunk her
peif, and did not wait for leave-taking.
Only she had a kindly feeling for the
imps, after all, and looked about for
them as she went downstairs
She left also a note for Mrs. Chum
leigh, merely giving her address. Then
with such a feeling of desolation as had
never yet wrung licr young heart, ehe
btarted out. ,
The childien were not about; but
when she reached the corner Rod darted
out at her. His face waa smeared and
tear-stained.
"They say you're goin' uway," he
cried out, "and I wasn't to see you again ;
but I've cheated 'em bully. 1 want to
give you this valentine. To-day's the
fourteenth, .you see, and I like you bet
ter than any other girl I know. I fixed
it yesterday painted it all myself
there's two hearts on a meat skewer and
an altar and a bride-all right, you'll
BOG "
'Thank you, Rod," cried Gertrude,
with a sob in her throat as she stooped
to give the boy a kiss. " I do not ex
pect any other valentine."
And she smiled through the tears
that dimmed h r eyes as she looked at
the huge envelope with its official-look
ing seals.to whicti Koa tiaa conauuu ujb
treasure- . , .
A moment after a quick step came be
ll ind her. Then some one took the lit
tle traveling bag out of her hand, and,
looking up, she saw a friendly hand
some face looking down at her reproach-
,U' Going without one word for nieP
cried Eric. .... .
And irom that moment halt her bur
den seemed lifted. She io'ind herself
actually smiling as she reached her
aunt's door. ,
" What is that billet-doux you are
owrying so carefully P" exclaimed Eric,
as he caught sight of the huge envelope .
ivi v vr pniine. minweieu uhihuuc.
Then a moment alter she added
work." ...
They stood in the littlo parlor, Ihen,
tv the window, as the young girl turned
over tue epistie, anu nnany upi-ueu m
with a half-hysterical luugli. bucaa
villainois-looking couple as Rod had
executed ; but he had gilded a ri"g on
1 tie bride's finger which obliterated her
Imnd.&nd had al-o a cable ol tue same
burnished metal on her neck .
"By Jove! what's thisr" exclaimed
Eric, seizing the paper; "do you see
what the rascal has tieu on witn Diue
ribbon for a fancy cover my motner s
coupons, by all that's jolly 1"
uertruue starea in Bpexines em
prise.
The child had nicked a whole sheet
of coupons and used them as a cover for
his chet d'ffiuvre.
The neat little equates and numbers
had evidently tanen his fancy. I he e
were only a part, to be sure, dui ue
could probably give an s.ccount of the
rest. Of course he had r o idea that the
beautiful paper he hai found in his
mother's desk was so va luable.
Gertrude eazed at it a moment, and
then joined in the laug h.
Sue looked up to sua Aunt uaciiei in
the uoorway regarding them with mild
wonder.
"My first valentm.M" sue exclaimed,
in some embarrassment.
But Eric told the story for her, and
added his own conclusion. He was his
own master, free t choose where )ie
would; aid in th'j happiness that fol
lowed Gertrude foirgot the misery of the
day when she had received her queer
valentine.
A vicious Iu'iiana boy 'met a little
seven-year-oid schoolgirl, and as he
h.d a de.id hituksiiake Lo ruthlessly
wrapped it ai out her neck. The pUysi
oians report that she is incurably iu-sane.
End of the Courtship.
Though Harry knows the time is late.
And dreads her angered sire,
He hates to leave his charming late,
Or rather leave the fire.
" What happy, sweet, I spend,"
He sighs, "alone with thee."
" It's all," she Bays, " you ever spend
1 Good evening!" says be.
H. C. Dodge.
HUMOROUS.
Goes against the grain The reaping
machine. Yaucob Strauss.
Out of every 100 inhabitants in the
United States, sixteen live in cities.
The man who has gathered a big ice
crop wants to keep it shady. Picayune.
He sighed for the wings of a dove,
but had no idea that the Jegs were much
better eating.
We would rather hire a mule than
own one,-on the principle, "Of two evils
choose the leased." uosion rosu
The Rochester papers have a good deal
to say about " elevated tracks." Cats
prowling over the roofs, we suppose.
Syraeust Herald.
" When I die," eaid a married man,
" I want to go where there is no snow
to shovel." llis wife Baid that she pre
sumed he would.
Ohio papers are discussing why quail
freeze to death. It is simply because
they can't afford to pay $7 a ton for
coal. Philadelphia Chronicle.
Those who believe that the world
owes them a living don't stop to con
sider how many bad debts the old globe
has to shoulder. Saturday Night.
A middle-sized boy, writing a com
position on "Extremes," remarked that
"we should endeavor to avoid extremes,
especially those ot wasps and bees."
" What hapiy hours, sweet, I spend,"
He sighs, "alone with thee."
" It's all,'' she says, "you ever snend "
"Good evening!" says he.
Detroit tree Preu. .
A party of 150 Chicago lawyers, gam
blers, board of trade men and shoulder
hitters, went out to Crystal lake to wit
ness a fight between a couple of roosters.
No disgrace, however, is attached to the
roosters. Milwaukee Sm.
A question of identity: "Did the
prisoner at the bar strike youP" " Eye
think bo." replied the man with the
decorated optic. "Eye eee," smiled
thejustice; " eye-dent-ity established;
three dollars and trimmings." Keokuk
Gate City.
A youngster, while warming his'
hands at the fire, was remonstrated
with by his father, who said: "Go
away from the fire the weather is not
cold.'' "I ain't heating the weather.
I'm warming my hands," tne nttie iei
low demurely replied.
"In the hour of danger woman thinks
least of herself," said Madame Stael.
True ! When the thunder roars and the
vivid lightning flashes, and the big
drops come down, the woman who is
caught out in the otorm devotes her
agony to the thought that her hat and
oie:swill bo ruined.
An editor may write himself "we" in
his editorials, and feel therefore doubly
proud and doubly strong; but when he
get3 home to dinner an hour or so late,
and forgets to briJg something home U.
make that dinner, he doesn't feel any
larger than one-fourth of one person.
Kentucky Slate Journal.
A prudent and far-seeing mothu
married her two daughters some years
ago to a plumber and an iceman, and
now, no matter whether there is a mild
winter or a severe one, she has a box at
the charity bali, and spends the next
summer at Newport or goes to Europe,
with some one or the other of her sons-
in-law. New York Chic.
A tramp was being escorted down
Galveston avenue by one of the most
stylish policemen on the force. "I hate
to walk along arm-in-arm with a
policeman," said the tramp. "You
ought to be used to it by this time," re
plied the policeman. "I can't get used
to hearing people on the streets say,
Just look at that vagabond!' when I
know they must mean one of U3.
Galveston News.
"George Peabody," says a New York
paper, "was never married, and lor a
singular reasdfb." Then it goes on at
some length to give the reason, because
the girl married ant ' 'ter man. And we
have read that artic a dozen times and
have pondered over it deeply, and
hanged if we can see yet why that,
fhould be called "a singular reason.'
We think it was a very sensible matter
of fact reason. BurdtU
They both went sailing down the walk,
Arrayed in laultleas gearing,
Both engaged in pleasant talk,
Each smiled id each endearing.
He said: " My love, this blithesome day,
This bracing, glorious weather,
This charming walk Whoop! slop 'er say
They both went down togotber.
They picked them up, small boys ki-yi-ed,
When she resumed with flippery:
Dear George, I think it is not, denied,
Those churmiuic walks are slippery."
Too fold for the Flab.
A remarkable circumstance in con
nection with the recent cold Bnap was
the effect on the fish along the coast.
large schools being driven in suore and
in shallow water. Strange as it may
seem, it Is asserted that the fish, par
ticularly bass and trout, were observed
to throw themselves bodily out of the
water on land. An old negro caugut
thirty-one very fine large bias in this
way at Raccoon Key, near Warsaw. On
Saint Catherine's a net thrown in the
water was almost instantly tilled by tine
large hsh, and hshermea iound some
dltlieulty in hauling the nets in. Others
were observed to kill them in the water
with oars. This novel occarrenco was
witnessed generally ail along the islands
to the southward and in the rivtra near
the coast. Savannah (0u.) A'ttr..
V