Hates of Advertising.
OneSquare (lincli,)one Insertion - ft
One Square " one month - - ?, on
One Square " three months - (5 CO
One Square " one year - - 10 no
Two Squares, one yoai - - v" 1" 0
QuarteiCol. "... -30(0
Half .. - ,'0 CO
One -... iiK) CO
Iegal notices at established rates. t
Marriage and death notices, gratis.
All bills for yearly advertisements col
lected quarterly. Temporary mvrtise
ments must be paid for in advance.
Job work. Cash on lellve y .
; i rm.in:n every Wednesday, by
ar. aa. wiawic
r-JTICT! Iff I10T?I305 & BONNER'S BTHLTOTIJ
ELM STREET, TIONESTA, PA.
TERMS, tl.60 A YEAR.
No R.ihscripUons received for a (shorter
u ioil than throe months.
forrcHponrionce solicited from nil parts
It lie country. No notice will bo taken at
;ioiiyiuous communications.
VOL. XIII. NO. 34. TIONESTA, PA., NOV. 10, 1880. $1.50 Per Annum.
1 1
P
Around the Tear.
tiove came to mo in the springtime,
With tho golt, sweet April showers;
Her breath was the breath of the woodland,
And her lap wag flilol with flowers.
Nor stop was a song in the silence;
Its melody rose and (ell
As t-ho danced through the iragrant twilight
To the bower we knew so well.
And the fpring glidod on to the snmmer
With the flame ol ils lervent darts,
Ami the noon ol the fleeting season
Was the noon ol our heating hearts.
Hut the autumn canie with its shadows,
And noon was no longer hot;
And the Irost orept Into our pulseft,
And Kummor and spring were not.
And Jove was alive with tho winter,
But her beauty and (trace had fled;
'Mid the snows of March I le't her,
With a cypress wreath at her bead.
Hurt Lyman, in Hatper'$ Magazine.
BOWKER'S TRIUMPH.
: B MJfSRFTTIi END OF AOOLLIEIl 8 COUItT-
smr.
William' descended to the pump in
i back yard, and had a wash in the
Might of four o'clock, and Selina got
i of bod and took sly peeps at him
nth her tears. William, his ablu
i over, went out for a dreary atroll,
' (i'o Hilly piece, and over Steven
's hill, and down Jacob's ladder, and
id Minvrt lane, and on to the brook-
again. Thero, on Juno bridge, he
i I and watched the eddies circle
ind the groat atones, and found that
five and bewildered comfort which
'do always finds in running water,
luwhilo Selina had gone back to bod,
; bad there renewed her tears, and
finding some comfort in running
; also. And, at the moment when
; nn stood upon Juno bridge, Abra
( lough, in a suit of flannels, was
itr liis wny to tho day shift in the
iind-at-it. Iiest you should find
( If. too much disturbed by tho
i, lot me explain that the Strip-and-was
a coal mino, so named by its in-
firm the cant phrase of, some
or ganger: "Now, lads, strip
r William regretted his holiday,
longed for the hour when work
1 begin again. Ue beguilod the
hours of the day by the composi
- f w oo-begone versos, whereof for
3 ns preserved a fragment, which I
embalm : '
he. mn tbat shines so bright above,
w naught about my wronglul love;
r- iilrda 11 at cing in Wignvre lane
ins: nothing to my heart but pain,
s a very dismal thing
n' in my oars the binls do sing,
iii'e my Solinn ha Kone off
walk w'th Mr. Aniaham Gough."
illinm's muse was in the right. It
i very dismal thing to the wounded
i t, grown egotistio through its pain,
t nature should seem out of sympathy
i it that the sun should shine and
birds should sing just as brightly
I as merrily as though Selina was
I I true and gentle.
William took his humble meal at a
'.tie public-house in the aforesaid lane,
d then strolled home again, atill very
iserable, but a trifle soothed by the
rse-making process. He was due at
b mine at six o'clock, and an hour be
re that time he was upstairs exchang
.g his Sunday costume for the work
er coaly flannels, when he became con
ious of a bustle in th,e street. Look
it,' through the window, he beheld men
mining hatless and coatless, and1 tin
S onneted, unshawled women hurrying
ilong as fast as their feet could take
i hem. Evervbodv ran in one direction.
itid in the crowd lie caught a moment's
glimpse of Selina and her father. The
girl's face was white with some strong
excitement, and there was a look of the
wildest imaginable fear in her eyes,
Both hands were pressed to her heart as
she ran. A Black country 'collier's in
stinct in a case like this is pretty likely
to bo true. William threw the window
open, 'andcried out to the hurrying
crowd:
"Wheeriait?"
" At the Strip-and-at-it," some famil
iar voice called out as the straggling
crowd swept by:
"What is it?" he cried again.
' Shaft on fire," cried another voice,
in"", answer ; and in a second the street
was clear. William Bowker dashed
downstairs and hurried'iiniself along
the street.
"Anybody down?'' he gasped, as' he
turned the corner and passed the hind
motit figure in a hurrying mass. The
woman knew him.
" Tor God's sake, lend me thy hand,
Willy-yuni," she gasped in answer. " My
J
,oo s in.
He "caught the shriveled little figure
in his great arms as though tho old
woman had been a baby, and dashed on
again. ' Aye, the tale was true ! There
belched and volleyed the rolling smoke.
There were hundreds upon hundreds of
people already crowded upon the pit
mound and -about the shaft, and from
every quarter men and women came
streaming in, white-faced and breathless.
William set his withered burden down,
and pushed through to the edge of the
shaft. There was water in the up-cast,
and 'tho engines were at work full
power. Up came the enormous bucket
and splashed its 200 or 300 gallons down
me unrnimr snail, ana dropped like a
stone down the up-cast, aiidaftera loner,
long pause came trembling and laboring
up again, and vomited its freight again
and dropped like a stone for more.
in a
with
ring an spit at it, sanl isowkor,
his faco all nalo and his eves on fire.
" Get the stinktors up and lot a man or
two go down."
"Will yo' mak' one, Bill Bowker?"
said a brawny, coal-smeared man beside
him. ,
"Yis, I will," was tho answer, given'
like a bulldog's growl.
" I'll make another," said tho man.
"An me," "An' me," "An me," cried
a dozen more.
" Rig the bowk, somebody," said the
love-lorn verso-maker, taking at once
and as by right the place ho was born
for. " Bill Joe Abel Darkey come
wi' me."
The crowd divided, and the five made
for tho offices, and found thcro in a row
a number of barrel-shapod machines of
metal, each having a small hoso and a
pumping apparatus attached to it.
Those were a new boon from the genor
ous hand of Bcienco a French contri
vance, as the name affixed to each set
forth " L'Extincteur." Each of the
men seized one of these, and bore it to
the edge of the shaft, the crowd once
lnoro making way. A bucket, techni
cally called "a bowk," some two feet
deej) and eighteen inches wide, was
allixed to the wire rope which swung
above the burning shaft.
Tho solf-appointed loader asked for
flannel clothing. A dozen garments
were flung to him at once. He wrapped
himself up like a mummy, and bound a
cotton handkerchiof over his face. Then,
with the machine strapped securely
across his shoulder, he stepped one foot
in the bucket and laid a hand upon the
rope. A man ran forward with a slender
chain, which he passed rapidly round
tho volunteer's waist and fixed to tho
rope which supported the bowk. An
other thrust an end of ropo into his
hand, and stood by to reeve out the rest
as he descended. 1 hen came the word :
"Short, steady." The engine panted,
tho rope tightened, the clumsy figure,
with the machine bound about it, swing
into the smoke, and in a death-like still
ness, with here and there a smothered
gasp, the man wont down. His comrade
at the edge dribbled the rope through
his coal-blackcnod fingers as delicately
as though it had beon a silken thread.
Then came a sudden tug at it, and the
word was flashed to the engine-room, and
the creak of the wheel ceased, and the
gliding wire rope was still. Then, for a
space of nigh a minute, not a sound was
heard, but every eye was on the rope,
and evory cheek was pallid with sus
pense, and every heart was with the hero
in the fiery depths below. Then came
another warning tug at the rope, and
again the word flashed to the engine
room. The wheel spun round, the rope
glided, quivered, stopped, the figure
swung up through the smoke again, was
seized, lowered, landed. When his
comrades laid hands upon him, the flan
nel garments fell from him in huge
blackened flakes, so near to the flames
had he been. He cast these garments
from him, and they fell, half tinder, at
his feet. Then he drew off the hand
kerchief which bound his face, and, at
the god-like, heroio pallor of his counte
nance, and the set lips and gleaming
eyes, women whispered, pantingly, "God
bless him!" and the breath of those bold
fellows was drawn hard. Then he
reeled, and a pair of arms like a bear's
were round him in a second. In two
minutes more he was outside the crowd,
and a restorative which came from no
body knew where, was at his lips as he
lay upon the ground, and two or three
women ran lor water,
And while all this was doing, another
man, as good as he, was swinging down
ward in the blinding smoke. So fierce
a leap the flames made at this hero, that
they caught him fairly for a moment in
their arms, and when he was brought to
the surface, he hung limp and senseless,
with ereat patches of smoldering Are
upon his garments, and his hands and
face cracked and blackened. But the
next man was ready, and when he, in
turn, came to the light, he had said good
bve to the licrlit forever in this world
Not this, nor anything that fear could
urge, could stay the rest. There were five
and thirty men and boys below, and they
would have tliem up or die. With that
Kod-like pallor on their lips and cheeks,
with those wide eyes that looked deatli
in the face, and knew him, and defied
him down they went! I saw these
things, who tell the story. Man after
man defied that fiery hell, and faced its
lurid, smoky darkness, undismayed, un
til at last, their valor won the day
The love-lorn llliam had but little
room in his heart for superfluous senti
ment as he laid his hand upon the wire
rope, and set his foot in the bowk again
Yet inst a hope was there that Selina
should not grieve too greatly if this
second venture failed, and ho should
meet his death. He was not, as a rule,
devotionally inclined, but lie whispered,
inwardly, " Uod bo good to tier. And
there, at that second, he saw her face
before him so set and.fixed that in its
agony of fear and prayer it looked like
marble. The rope grew taut, he passed
the handkerchief about his face again,
and with the memory of her eyes upon
him, dropped out of sight. The man at
tho side of the shaft paid out the slender
line again, and old hands watched it
closely. Yard after yard ran out. The
great coil at his feet snaked itself, ring
by ring, through his coaly fingers. Still
no warning message came from below.
The engine stopped at last, and they
knew that the foot of the shaft was
reached. Had the explorer fainted by
the way? He might, for all they knew
abwe, be roasting down below that
minute. Even then his soul, newly re
leased, might be above them.
Through tho dead silence of the
"Yo' might just as well stand
crowd the .word flashed to the engine
room. The wheel went round, and the
wire rope glided and quivered up again
over it. There was not a man or woman
there who did not augur the same thing
from the tenser quiver of the rope, and
when, at last, through the thinner coils
of smoke about the top of the shaft the
rescuer's figure swung with the first of
the rescued in his arms, there was heard
one sound of infinite pathos a sigh of
relief from 20,000 breasts and dead
silence fell again.
"Alive? asked one, laying a hand on
Bowkor's arm. Bill nodded and pushed
him by, and made his way toward that
marble face, nursing his burden still.
"beliner," lie said, quietly, "here e
our sweetheart."
"No, no, no, Bill," she answered.
"There's on'y one man i' the world for
me, Jim, 11 ever he iorgives me an my
wicked ways."
Cheer and cheer of triumph rang in
their ears. The women fought for Bill
Bowker, and kissed him and cried over
him. Men shook hands with him and
with each other. Strangers mingled
their tears. The steel rope was gliding
up and down at a rare rate now, and the
half-suffocated prisoners of the fire were
being carried up in batches. Selina and
her lover stood side by side and watched
the last skipful to the surface.
"That a the lot, yelled one coal-
smeared giant as the skip swung up.
Out broke the cheers again, peal on
peal. William stood silent, with tears
in those brave eyes. The penitent stole
a hand in his.
"Oh, Bill," she whispered, "you
didn't think I wanted him ?"
"What else did you think I fetched
him out for?" queried William, a smile
of comedy gleaming through the manly
moisture of his eyes.
She dropped her head upon his breast,
and put both arms around him, and
neither she nor he thought of the crowd
in that blissful moment when Mr. Bow
ker's courtship ended, and soul was as
sured of soul.
A Hint to Boys.
A philosphcr has said that the true
education for boys is to teach them
what they ought to know when they
become men. What is it they ought to
know?
1. To be true; to be genuine. No
education will be worth anything that
does not include this. A man had bet
tor not know how to read he had bet
ter never learned a letter in the alpha
bet, and be true and genuine in inten
tion and action, rather, than, being
learned in all science and in all lan
guages, be at the same time false at
heart and also counterfeit in life.
Above all things, teach the boys that
truth is more than riches, more than
culture, more than earthly power or po
sition. 2. To be true in thought, language
and life pure in mind and body. An
impure man, young or old, poisoning
society where he moves with his smutty
stories and impure example, is a moral
ulcer, a plague spot, a leper, who ought
to be treated like the lepers of old, who
were banished from society and com
pelled to cry " Unclean," as a warning
to save others from the pestilence.
3. To be unselfish. To take care for
the feelings and comforts of others. To
be polite. To be just in all dealings
with others. To be generous, noble and
manly. This will include a genuine
reverence for the aged and things sa
cred. 4. To be self-reliant and self-helpful
even from earliest childhood. To be
industrious always, and self-supporting
at the earliest age. Teach them that
all honest work is honorable, and that
an idle, useless life of dependence on
others is disgraceful.
When a boy has learned these things,
when he has made these ideas a part of
his being, ho ever young he may be,
however poor or however rich, he has
learned some of the important things he
ought to know when he becomes a man.
With these properly mastered, it will
be easy to find all the rest. Methodist
Recorder.
A Laplander's Home.
In a large but rather low room, with
walls and roof of rough-hewn planks,
and with beams stretching from wall to
wall in every direction, were assembled
at least twenty-five persons of all ages
and both sexes. Most of them ha
taken off their skin blouses and hung
them on the rafters near a huge wood
fire, fit to roast an ox at. The half
stewed garments and the steam from the
dirty persons of those in front of the fire
caused a most unsavory odor, which
prompted us to make our stay as short
as possible. All around the apartment,
except near the door, was ranged the
sleeping-shelves, the major part of which
were already occupied men, women
and children all indiscriminately mingled
together, not distinguishable to the un
practiced eye the one from the other,
and appearing like nothing else than
mere animated bundles of fur. From
the group congregated around the fire
no cheerful laugh, no buzz of conver
sation, no noisy merriment emanated
all were silent and still; perhaps they
did not wish to disturb the sleepers, but,
judging from their solemn and lugu
brious countenances, their gloominess
seemed but too natural and very far
from assumed or constrained. Well, in
the joyless and monotonous life those
poor people lead, it is not surprising
that all merriment Jabout them is soon
stifled. Reindeer Ride Through Lap
land. Thought at a church fair Faint
pocketbook never captivated fair lady
Yonkers Statesman.
WAUN'ER AMU THE BARBER.
How the Great Herman Composer Had
Ills Hair Mhlnaleil-The Tonsorlal
Artist's Dilemma.
Wagner, the composer of the musio
of the future, writes a correspondent, is
sojourning in his " own hired house " at
Naples, where he is preparing a new
work, and being lionized to an extent
that must fill his soul, so fond of adula
tion, with sweet content. The maestro
is shaved by a certain Neapolitan knight
of the brush by the name of Gennaro,
and a good story is told in this connec
tion. The barber thought he had " a
soft thing of it," and bargained in ad
vance with certain worshipers of the
composer to soli them locks of the hair
which he should cut from the maestro's
head, and the shaver had in consequence
a nice little sum in anticipation.
He went gaily to the Wagner villa
The composer was waiting. Don Gen
naro tied the towel around his neck and
began operations. " Not too short,"
said Wagner. "It's dreadful hot,
maestro; you will feel a hundred times
better after the operation," said Don
Gennaro, slipping his scissors into the
salt-and-pepper curls. .Hardlv had the
barber said these words when he turned
white as a sheet. The scissors nearly
fell from his hands, together with the
first lock of the precious hair. What
had happened? If I were a novel writer
and not a correspondent, I might take a
barbarous satisfaction, at this point, in
writing " continued in our next," which
would keep your nerves twitching for
twenty-four hours. But I refrain.
What had happened? Had Don Gen
naro, from over-excitement, cut the
skin as well as the hair of the illustri
ous head he held in his hands? Was it
remorse for having sold the spoils
which made him tremble? Neither the
one nor the other. Mme. Wagner, with
measured steps like one who fulfills a
sacred mission, had come to his side
with an open ebony casket, and the in
stant that each lock fell she caught it
on the wing and laid it reverently on
the blue satin lining of the box.
Imagine the disappointment, the or
gasm of Don Gennaro! How he man
aged to finish the job I don't know, but
do know that he came home thor
oughly desperate; in fact, completely
wilted. Donna Teresa, liis wife, thought
something dreadful had happened.
What shall I do," cried he, after re
counting his terrible story, " what shall
I do with all those Germans? Alas! I
must refund the money.because theypaid
half in advance. Who could imagine
this? " Don Gennaro. Baid his wife,
severely, " when I married you I thought
you had more brains in your head. Will
you drown yourself in a glass of water ?
The maestro is a great composer, no
doubt; but- his hair is salt and pepper
like our neighbor, the butcher's." A
word to the wise. At the present writ
ing there are fifteen or twenty houses
in Germany where, m the place of honor
in the parlor there is a small lock of
salt and pepper hair in a frame, and be
low it in gold letters in German: " Lock
of hair of Richard Wagner, cut in
Naples, March 23, 1880." Don Antonio,
the butcher, has never been able to
make out why Don Gennaro, the bar
ber, insisted on cutting his hair, as it
were by force, on the morning of the
twenty-fourth of March, 1880, the fol
lowing Sunday being his day instead.
Canoe Travel In Alaska.
Alaska is full of food for man and
beast, body and soul, though few are
seeking it as yet. Were one-tenth part
of the attractions that this country has to
offer made known to the world, thou
sands would come every year, and not a
few of them to stay and make homes.
At present, however, Alaska is out of
sight, though by no means so far and
inaccessible as most people seem to sup
pose, i For those who really care to
come into hearty contact with the coun
try, making a long, crooked voyage in
a 2anoe with Indians, is by far the bet
ter way. The larger canoes made by
these Indians will carry from one to
three tons, rise lightly over anv waves
likely to be met on those inland chan
nels, go well under sail, and are easily
paddled along shore in calm water or
against moderate winds, while snug
harbors, where they may ride at anchor
or be pulled up on a smooth beach, are
to be found almost everywhere. With
plenty of provisions packed in boxes,
and blankets and warm clothing in rub
ber or canvas bags you mav be truly in
dependent, and enter into partnership
with nature; be carried with the winds
and currents, accept the noble invita
tions offered all along your way to en
ter the sublime rock portals of the
mountain fiords, the homes of the
waterfalls and the glaciers, and encamp
every night in fresh, leafy coves, car
peted with flower-enameled mosses, be
neath wide out-spreading branches of
the evergreens, accommodations com
pared with which the best to be found
in artificial palaces are truly vulgar and
mean. ban rrancisco Bulletin.
A London undertaker has within the
last few weeks driven through the city
as an advertisement an enormous conin
mounted on a base and drawn by fiv
horses. This final receptacle is got u
in most gaudy colors, ornamented wit
the name and address of the purveyor
on the outside and lined within with
satin or some other comfortable am;
pleasant-looking material. A live corpse
with a sheet about him, did duty in this
luxurious tenement.
The one-cent postal
quite take the place
note-paper.
card will never
of the scented
A NEW THIJitt IN OPTICS.
Discovery Tha. Does Away With the
Need of Telescopes,
Professor Benjamin 0. Merrill is gen
erally conceded to be .one of the fore
most scientific men of Milwaukee.
Hitherto he has confined his researches
to the field of electricity rather than to
that of optics, and it was not supposed
that the world would be indebted to
him for the most important discovery
in connection with the eye that has ever
et been made. Professor Merrill has
long been of the opinion that tho tele
scope is a clumsy method of supplying
the deficiency of eye power, and some
months ago he undertook to ascertain
f there was any way by which we could
e able to dispense with artificial lenses.
It is a well ascertained fact that persons
who are near-sighted, or, in other words,
can see only such objects as are near to
them, have the ball of the eye globular
and protuberant, while those whose
ision enables them to see objects at a
long distance from them have the eye
flattened and sunken. The obvious ex-
lanation of this fact is the theory that
hen the eye is flattened the lenses are
compressed, and thus focal distance is
increased, while the opposite enoct lol-
lows the too great rotundity of the eye.
Acting in accordance with this theory,
Professor Merrill conceived the plan
of increasing the power of the eye, not
by using artificial glass lenses, but by
improving tho natural lenses. He de
signed an instrument, consisting of two
Tiall metallic disks, each pierced with an
extremely small hole, and connected by
light steel band. These disks are to
be placed one directly over the center
of each eye, while the steel band, pass
ing around the head, holds them in
place. This band is so made that it
can be shortened or lenghtened by turn
ing a thumbscrew, and, of course, just
in proportion as it is shortened tne
disks press against the eyes and flattens
them.
The inventor tried his instrument
upon himself before exhibiting it to
any one. He found that when the disks
were put in position and the screw was
gradually lurnea nis power oi seeing
distant objects steadily increased. A
very slight increase of pressure on the
eyes gave a very marked increase of
visual power, lie made experiments
both by day and night, and in every case
with marked success. He found that in
the daytime he could read the "Times"
at a distance of twenty rods by giving
the screw two complete turns, and at
night he could perceive the moons of
Jupiter and the ring of baturn with six
turns of the screw. Up to tins point,
the operation of the instrument was
auite painless, but any attempt to give
greater eye-power was attended with a
sharp pain in the eyes and a dazzling
liKht, which rendered all objects invisi
ble. Professor Merrill has calculated,
however, that six turns of the thumb
screw trive his eyes a power equal to
that of a refracting telescope of forty
two feet focal distance, and that, in fact,
there is no telescope in existence which
has anything like the power of his eyes
when they have been properly adjusted
by the help of his new instrument.
The Leather Medal.
And now it is the leather trade that
Americans are making their own in Eng
land. There has been held recently a
leather exhibition at the Agricultural
hall, London, in which various foreign
leathers as well as the British home
produce competed for the prize. The
result was that tne united tates liter
. . . . ... . ...
ally bore off the leather medal. We ex
port enormous quantities of leather to
England, as also does Australia; leather
of the heavier kind, sole leather, ready
tanned. It was found on inquiry that
American firms actually bought up pelts
and hides in the English market.
brnncht them over here, tanned them
and sent them back to England in the
form of finished leather. All this
causes John Bull to rub his eyes, open
his mouth and bellow, lhe xankees.
he found, do more vet. The American
tanners buy the hides of the living ani
nials exported from here to England
and when the annuals are killed in
England the hides are brought back
here to be tanned. J. lie explana
tion uiven is that American opera
tors work on a very lame scale,
with a large and cheap supply of
hemlock, which gives great weight, and
cives it nuicklv, the tanner being pan
by weight. The Australians have an
abundance of hides, and send shiploads
of solo leather. As a consequence of
this fierce competition against two con
tinents, the English tanner finds him
self driven to the wall. The horn
trade in England is being mined, tan
neries are being closed, and capital re
fuses to waste itself on a profitless
speculation. Even in light leathers,
America competes w ith the British. The
kind known as Levants, Memels am
Cordovans are capitally imitated am
equaled, if not surpassed. Germany
does the same. France supplies the
chief stock of waxed calf for boot up
pers of the finer quality. The exports
of tanned leather from France to Eng
land in the interval between the exhibi
tions is a great increase In the United
Kingdom there are 40,000 persons em
ployed in the various departments of
the leather and skin trade. Tho value
of the hides and skins manufactured in
the kingdom is about 0,000,001). Tho
value of the imported skins and hides
exceeds this by jE:J,5(K),000. The im
ports from France have more than
doubled since 1H07. In round numbers,
the increase in value of the imports into
the United Kingdom over the exports
is equal to 1,000,000 since 1G7.
New York Graphic,
nOMOROUS.
Animatedjsaltcellars Grocers.
A joiner's benchThe hymenial altar.
A Texas dog was born without a tail,
and he will sit down right beside an old
kettle.
" Do we eat too much," asked the " De
troit Free Press," and out of five
dozen boarding-house keepers sixty an
swered in the affirmative.
Whv is a vain vonntr lady like a con
firmed drunkard? Because neither of
them is satisfied with a moderate use of
the glass. Owego Blade.
When Sydney Smith was out of health
his doctor advised him to take a walk
on an empty stomach. The witty
patient asked, " Whose?"
Butter is now adulterated with soap-
stone to make it weigh heavy. With
the usual hair, this ought to ma1:o "od
mortar. Syracuse Sunday limes.
" Canadian hemlock forests are being
rapidly destroyed for their bark." Why
not destroy a few dogs.' -1 here is as much
bark in a Spitz as there is in a forest.
Make a note of that," said one busi
ness man to anotner wno ow ed mm a
balance and was not manifesting much
enthusiasm about settling. Steuben-
ville Herald.
The pleasure of having a thing con
sists ; in knowing that some one else
wants it. This accounts for the alloyed
joy of possessing a sore thumb. Bos
ton Transcript.
Camping out in a canvas tent during
one's vacation is like kissing a pretty
girl at a candy scrape you have a good
time, but you come out of it rather the
worse for wear. Boston Globe.
A eood manv of the new stars anu
comets we read about in tho newspapers
are discovered by men who come homo
late and meet the clothesline across the
bridge of their nose. Middletown
Transcript.
This is getting to be a well-padded
world. There are horse-pads, foot-pads,
hip-pads, liver-pads, back-pads, kidney
pads, and stomach-pads, and soon it is
expected tnat someooay wiu gei up a
pad for bald heads.
"Small women generally have the
largest hearts." Hope thats so; we
own a small woman no, a small woman
owns us but we haven t seen hoi heart
yet to see what size it is. We've heard it
speak, thougn. it s a good speaner.--
Kentucky State Journal.
A Minnesota exchange says that
"Peter Butler, of Cannon Falls, aged
eighty years, shocked eleven acres of
grain one day last week." Some of
these old farmers use pretty hard lan
guage when they once get started.
Peck's Sun.
Dear soul ! she looked at me askance,
Her eye filled lull ol tears;
Wbile I, content to take my chnnoe
Kissed her, and quelled her tears.
And what her tears were, who can say?
Perhaps at thein you'd laugh
For near her stood, blocking the way,
A tiny week-old call '
Meritien Recorder.
A young man with an umbrella over
took an unprotected lady acquaintance
in a rain-storm, and, extending his um
brella over her, requestod the pleasure
of acting as her rainbow. " Oh," ex
claimed the young lady, taking his arm,
" you wish me to be your rain-dear."
Two souls with but a single umbrella,
two forms that stepped as one.
ALL S FA1K.
" Do you attend the laiiT" she Faid,
And toesed her pretty little head.
He spake up, with a roguish glance,
' Y8 always, when I get a chaucu."
She hlushedand said: " Now, don't ho Rieen;
You know quite well, sir, what ( mean;
There's only one fair in the Uiwn."
Said he: " That's what I said to Urawn."
Charles, I shall have to box your euis,"
1'Iih lovely eyes were lull ot tottis.
You know what lair; will you take nioT"
For better or worjo.'" said Uliarlua in glee.
" All's lair in love or war," and they
A family ticket bought next day.
Now Charles looks into hei sparkling eyes
And sweats he has carried oil' the prize.
Mochetter Kxprcss
Coaratre Rewarded.
Some notable deeds of unselfish cour
age were rewarded yesterday with the
silver medals of that excellent institu
tion, the Royal Humane Society. H onor
is due, in the first place, to a lady,
twice noble by compassion and by
birth the Honorable Blanche Colville,
who, at West Cowes, on August, 2-4,
hearing that a poor girl was drowning
who had already twice sunk, plunged
in the sea in her yachting dress as
she stood, and, notwithstanding
the weight of her soaked gar
ments, saved this all but lost life.
Another brave breast decorated with
the medal was that of Arthur Evans, u
lad of fifteen, who, at Aberayan, in
Cardiganshire, seeing a man carried be
vond his depth and sinking, flung off
his clothes, swam to t lie spot, dived
thrice, and finally brought his prize up
by the hair of his head, saving him, but
so narrowly that the gallant boy fainted
himself wliilo still in tho water. Wil
liam Chambers was tho third of the gen
erous souls whose loving kindness
honors human nature. He descended a
well at Ashford wherein two men had
already becomo asphixiated, and fasten
ing a ropo to one of the sufferers,
brought him out alive, returning for
the other, but only to obtain a dead
Inidv. We sulute with deep respect the
English lady, the lad and the workman.
In days of cynicism and self-seeking
they teach us the impressive lesson that
there are many things bettor than lifo
and dearer than length of years. Lon
don Telegraph,