'fflu rf west jEfjmMtan.
in ri!i:Miiir.n kvkiiy wkdnkbday, bt
r. 33. xvaaivris:
ofrioe in robinson & bonner's building
elm sth;:i;t, tiontta, pa.
Rates of Advertising.
One Square (I inch,) ono insertion -One
Square " one month - 3 M
OneNquare " threoinonths - 6 00
One Square ' ono yenr 10 (
Two Squares, ono year - - lft'O
Quarter Col. ' - - - - no
Half -- no (0
One " - - - - 100 ()
IjOfral notices at established ratos.
Marriage and death notices, gratia.
All bills for yearly ailvortiH!inonls .
leeted quarterly. Temporary advertise,
monts must bo paid for in advance.
Job work. Cash on Delivery.
A
TERMS, 1.60 A TRAIl.
N(i Subscriptions received for a uliortor
period than throe months.
I'orroNpondewo no id tod troiri nil part
ot the country. No nolico will ho taken of
anonymous cniiinni ideations.
VOL. XIII. NO. 27. TIONESTA, PA., SEPT. 22, 1880. $1.50 Per Annum.
K
J
"J
The Seasons.
Spring, brilliant peuxon ol the year,
Wo think, for divers roasons,
Thai thou art, taken ns the whole,
The Bpico ot all Iho seasons.
Kininnoi', thou warmest ot Iho time,
That oomes with sun and shower,
No man can doubt an instant Unit
Thou art tho pepper ol the hour.
Autumn, sweet evening of the year,
Kith fruits ami grain adorn thy brow.
And in thy plontoous harvest gilts
Tho salt el time art thou.
Winter, stern, and cold, and chill,
ThoiMfiotnest biting, bleak and drear,
And as we shun thy biting breath
Wo namo thee vinegar ol tho year.
Stcubenville Herald.
WILD GRAPES.
" Fu"h a quanlily of llicm," said the
Widow Winton, "and doing nobody
anv good P
The golden September sunshine was
stooping all the Uplands in yellow bright
ness; the avanl couiiers of tho coming
fros i bad touched the maples and sumacs
with fiery red, and the wild grapes in
the woods came freighting the air with
sweetness. Such wild grapes, too
great, olooming masses ol purple, out
lined against their rank, green leaves, as
if some enchanted hand had hung all the
forest aisles with glistening pendants of
amethyst.
" The jelly they would makel'aid the
Widow Winton, shading her largo black
eyes with one hand, a she looked up
where the vines had garlanded a copse
of cedar trees. "And the preserves!
And the price they would bring in
maikel ! 1 really do think that when I
rented, the Gkn Cotiagc, I ought to
have hud the privilege of these woods
into the haivain. inoic especially as Mr.
KuclumM ! i" I'u.ope, and the grapes
are doing nobody uny good."
And the Widow Winton drew a deep
.Vgb, ns the wind wafted a fresh gust ol
liarance towrd her the sweet, inde
scribable annua of ripening grapes in
lue ei tK'ib e of autumn i-uti.lnne,
The Widow Win ion. bo it under
stood, was . no angulai matron or
wii?k!ed old beldame, hul a rosy little
personage of two or ibne-and-twentv,
with uiighimr. hW -Muck eyes, long
lotdu d and aluiond-sharted, a feaucy,
" retrousse none, and lips like a cleft rose-
1..... A .1 .... ol... u kA tl.ni.ri vrlttt lwt
IIUU. AIM! an Dllt rwi'u tt . nvi
. diiunled hands interlaced above her
eyes, a rebellious resolution formed itself
in her heart.
. " I will have them," said the Widow
Winton; "as well me as the schoolboys
and the sparrows, am ii i were io ass
that crusty old agent, I know he'd re
fuse, so I shall ouiit the little ceremony.
I'll send Vm into town, and I'll take the
money to get me a new full hat, for mine
h.w been positively shabby ever since
tho crape got soaked through in that
summer shower, t-ree weeks ago Sun
i day."
Anii Iho Widrmr Winton vpnt. home
to the little collage on the edge of the
-wood, which had once been a porter's
lodge to the Esselmont estate, and fold
her sister what she had determined
upon.
" Fanny," said Miss Charity Hall, who
was ten years older than the widow,
and a good many degrees graver, " pray
don't think of such a thing."
" Why not P" said Fanny.
" It would be stealing!"
" No, it wouldn't," stoutly 'argued
Fanny. 'There they hanp, doing no-
O. body any good; and it's a wicked, sin
ful shame! And Mr. Esselmont is in
l'aris, and that cross old crab of an
agent sets up a cry if one docs but break
oil a sprig oi autumn leaves, jmo,
Charity, there's no use arguing; the
grapes I want, and the grapes I'll have !"
" 1 wouldn't," said Miss, Charity.
" I would," said the Widow Winton.
And she took down a little wicker-
basket, with a twisted handle and a
double lid, and tripped off.
"How are you going to reach themP"
said Miss Charity.
. "-I shall climb," said the widow.
" YouP" cried Miss Charity.
t Yes, 1 ! ' nodded the widow.
15ut she was yet engaged in gathering
the purple spoils that hung, ripe and
tempting, within her reach, when there
was a crackling of dry leaves under
toot, and a tall young man, in a suit of
dark-colored cloth and a Tyrolese hat,
stepped lightly iuto theforceit glade.
" It's the new rector," said the Widow
- Winton to heitelf. "To think that he
should have blundered along at this
very time of all others! But I may us
well make the best ot it."
And she turned around to greet tho
bewildered new-comer with a sweet
smile and the utmost self-possession.
" Will you have some grapes?" said
she, holding out the twisted wicker
basket.
. . I Tl -. 1 lit 1
l l nvx yuui uaiuom tsmiiiiueruu
the stranger; "but I must have mis
taken my way. I supposed these were
the Essetniont woods.
" So they are," said the widow, "and I
am stealing the J'.sseimont grapes be
cause, you see, I've rented the little
cottage yonder, and I really think the
grapes ought to go with the cottage
don't you''"
Ileal ly." otrid the stranger tho
Widow. Winton hud perceived by this
time thai he was tall and straight, with
plcttoiint hazel eyes and a long, silky
mustache. "I know solittle about the
property here"
"Oh, ot course not!" said the widow,
sitting down on a fallen tree, with her
little black silk apron full of grapes.
" But I can tell jwu. Mr. Esselmont.who
owns the property, is in Europe; and
the ugeniis such a cross old fudge that
one can't ask for so much as a bunch of
wild llowers a regular crab.you know !"
openia,i her bright eyes very wide to
emphasize- iho idea.
"How vcr disagreeable!" said tho
fctittiier, who had taken a seat on the
moFsy log. beside tho widow, and was
eating grapes as if it were tho most nat
ural thing in the world.
" So I just concluded to help myself,"
said the widow.
,' So I perceive," said the hero of tho
silky mustache.
"Wouldn't you, if you were in my
place P" said tho widow.
"Certainly I would!" said the gentle
man. "And if you will allow me, I
will help you to help yourself."
" But you haven't time," said the
Widow Winton, dubiously.
"Oh, yes, I have!" said the stranger
" plenty of time, I assure you. I was
only crossing the woods to call on the
new rector, and "
The purple clusters of grapes slid to
the ground, as the Widow Winton
started up in amazement and dismay.
"Oh, dearl" cried she; "I thought
you were the new rector!"
Tho stranger laughed.
" 1 o I look so very clerical?" said he.
" Then you are the asrenl's son from
Canada!" said she. "Oh. dear! oh.
dear !
And I've
been calling your
lather
a crab, and
all sorts ot names.
Oh, dear! I beg your pardon, I urn
Burc, but all tho camo he is a crab!"
" Pray don't distress yourself,"
soothed the stranger. "I am. no rela
tion at nil to Mr. Esselmont's agent."
The Widow Winton brightened up a
little at this.
" I am thanktul for that," said she.
"And now, if you will help mo with
the grapes, we can get them ail gathered
before tho agent comes this way on his
afternoon walk. Can you climb?"
"I should rather think I could,"
promptly answered the gentleman.
Tho widow clapped her plump JJttle
hands in delight, as the huge bunches
rained down into her apron.
" There," cried she, ' that's enough!"
' Are you quite sure?"
"Oh, quite," said the widow "for
jelly, and marmalade, and to send a lot
to town to buy my new bonnet-strings."
The stranger sprang lightly to the
ground, from the boughs ol a stately
beech tree.
" Then it's all right," said he. " And
we've outgeneraled Mr. Esselmont and
his cross old Hgent, after all."
"Haven't we?" said tho Widow
Winton, with her black eyes all dancing
with mischief. "And now, if you'll
come homo with mc, I'll give you a cup
of, real Fnnch chocolate, and a slice of
sponge cake."
" I shall be very happy to carry your
basket for you," said the stranger, cour
teously. " There he is now," said tho widow,
recoiling a little, as they neared the tiny
cottage, with its drooping caves and
pillared veranda.
Who?" said the gentleman.
"The agent," said the Widow Win
Ion. " He can't hurt us." said the stranger.
And he walked boldly into tho very
presence of Mr. Sandy Macpherson,
with the basket of plundered grapes on
his arm; while tho widow followed,
much marveling at his valor.
But, instead of bursting out into
invective, the agent sprang to his feet,
and began bowing and scraping most
obsequiously.
"Heally, sir really, Mr. Esselmont,"
said ho, " this is a pleasure that I didn't
expect."
" Mr. Esselmont!" cried out the
widow.
' I beg a thousand pardons for not
disclosing my identity before!" said the
handsome "Incognito." "But you've
no idea how I have enjoyed this mas
querade. Will you allow me to in
troduce myselt formally at last?"
The Widow Winton turned crimson
and nale.
" But 1 ve been stealing your grapes,"
said she.
" Every fruit and flower on the Essel
mont estates is at your service," said
the young heir, with a Dow ana a
smile.
But when he went away. Miss
Charity took her younger sister formally
to tusk.
"Fanny," said she. "arent you
ashamed P"
" Not a bit." said Fanny, valiantly.
" Stealing fruit like a schoolboy, and
romping like a child, remonstrated
Charity.
"If Mr. Esselmont don t mind it,"
said the widow, "why should Ir And
we're going to the haunted springs to
morrow, and I shall show him the rocky
glen. Uh, 1 can tell you. Charity, it s
great run! '
nut, as time crept on, Miss Uhanty
Hall crew more uneasv still.
" ianny," said she, " you must leave
oil nirtiDg with Guy E3selmont! '
" Why P" said tho widow .
" Because you are poor and he is rich ;
and people are beginning to talk."
"Let'em talk," said Fanny. "We
are to be married next month, and then
we can set the whole world at dchance ;
and, Charity " hiding her face on the
elder sister's shoulder.
" WellP"
" He say he fell in love with me that
day he caught me stealing his grapes!"
"Humph!" said Miss Charity
"Well, you've stolen his heart, so
don't 6ce but that you're quits!"
Living in flew York, 17!) i.
Tho Tontine house, under the care of
Mr. Hyde, is the best hotel in New York
He sets from twelve to sixteen diehe
evtry day. lie charges lor a years
board, without liquor, $Jf0 to $100
liutter in tne market is J74 cents per
pound ; beef, compared with the English
beet, i9 poor; turkeys are 64 cintseach
common fowls are 25 cents each. Of
"Albany beef," sturgeon, you can get
enough lor ill cents to Iced a tamuy.
Oysters are plenty and large, l'eaches
sell two cents lor three to BixT of them.
All ranks of people smoke cigars six or
seven inches long. Silver money is
plenty, but go'd is rarely seen. The
population of the city is about 30,000.
There are two places of public enter
tainment in the environs of the city that
are much visited in tho summer; one is
c.illed Belvidere (on 'Bunker's hill), and
the oth'r Bundlins's gardtjus. Alayasine
0 American Malory.
A Japanese (Fable.
Once upon a time, on the shady side
of a hill near the seashore, there lived a
crab. One day he found some boiled
rice, and Eet off home with it; but on
his way was spied by a monkey. The
monkey offered to exclnge the seed of
a persimmon, the fruit ol which he had
nearly tinished eating, for the rice. This
the crab accepted on condition that the
monkey had not injured it with his
teeth. The exchange made, Jocko de
voured the rice, but the crab planted
the seed in his garden. A long time
afterward, the nienkey happening to
pass the same spot, was surprised to
see a fine tree laden with fruit, and his
friend the crab sitting on the balcony of
a nice new house, admiring his fruit
tree. Tim monkey being hungry, begged
tho crab to allow him to eat some of
tbe fruit. But the crab apologized, say
ing that his mend would be quite wel
come to some ol the fruit, but he could
not climb t' e tree to gather it. The
monkey declared ability to climb if the
rab would allow him to try; to which
tho owner of the tree consented, stipu
lating that he should receive halt the
fruit that was plucked. So up the mon
key clambered, aniigfast as he could,
selecting the best Hm? Ripest fruit, but
was too greedy to notice the crab, who
was waiting patiently below. At length
the crab, losing patience, accused the
monkey of being a bad and deceittul tel-
low ; upon which the monscy got angry,
pelted the poor crab, and broke his
hell. The crab s inend. the wasp, com
ing by, attacked the monkey and stung
turn so severely that Jocko scampered
awtiy tnghtcned. The wa9p then sent
lor his mends lggand Mortar, and alter
due deliberation, they made it up
amongst them to punish Jocko. They
arranged that Egg should explode if
put on the lire, the wasp should sting
Jocko, and Mortar, placed on tho roof,
should roll off upon his head as he ran
outot the door. The next day the mon
key being hungry, called at the crab s
house to apologize, and to beg another
dinner of fruit; but, seeing no person in
the house, he entered, and finding a
nice largo egg on a tray, he put it on the
lire to roast it, as lie could not manage
raw eggs so well aa hard cooked ones.
Presently tho egg exploded violently
and scattered the hot cinders over
Jocko, who ran into the next room
nowiing wuu pain; oui uie wasp new
out of a corner and stung him bo badlv
APYVr K Z fLflY.
howling with pain; but ttie wasp Hew
that he rushed out of the house, fright
ened and almost mad with pain, when
dropped the mortar upon his head and
killed him.
Moral: Cunning and greedy people
rarely gain much; and uhgratelui ones
are generally punished in the end.
A Famous Horse-Woman.
A Yorkshire (England) authority says
that perhaps the most exciting and
enthusiastic scene ever witnessed on a
ace course was at Knavesmire, in 1804,
when Mrs. Thornton accepted her
brother-in-law. Captain Hint's chal
lenge to ride a race for a wager for " 500
guineas and 1,000 guineas bye." The
distance was four miles, and Mrs.
Thornton to ride her weight against
Mr. Flint his weight. A hundred thou
sand persons flocked to the course, and
the Sixth dragoons were called out to
aid the constables in keeping order. At
to four on the petticoat." When balf I
the course had been run it rose to seven
the betting was " five and six
to four, and at three miles advanced to
two to one. During the three miles the
lady had been gradually increasing the
lead, when in the last mile her girth
slackened, and though she cleverly kept
her seat she could not maintain her
plaeo. It was said that $1,000,000
changed hands. In the following year
Mrs. Thornton rode two races one a
match for 2,000 guineas and a bet of 600
guineas with Mr. liamtord, who at the
last moment declined to ride, and Mrs
Thornton cantered over the course,
The other was with a famous jockey
named Buckle. Mrs. Thornton, in pur
pie cap and waistcoat, nankeen shirt,
purple shoes ana enioroiaerea stockings,
took the lead and kept it lor seme dis
tance, but was passed by Buckle, who
maintained his position for a lew
length, " when," to quote a chronicler,
" the ladv. bv the most excellent horse
manshin. pushed forward and came in
in a style superior to anything of the
kind we ever witnessed, gaining the
race by half a neck."
The Cologue Cathedral
The Cologne (Germany) cathedral, be
gun about in'M, was nnisnea August,
1880, when the last stone was inserted
in the tinial of the second tower. It is
511 feet long and 231 broad, and its twin
towers are 511 leet high. It originated
when tho religious enthusiasm ol the
Roman Catholic church was at its height
and enormous edifices were required for
the masses who thronged the altar. Up to
1830 it remained in tho same state is in
the middle ages, only the great chair
and a portion of the towers having been
built, the entire main part of the struc
ture the nave, transept and tho aisles
not having been begun. The original
plans were tound, however, in the dusty
archives ot tho cathedral, giving every
detail of its construction, so that the
work could be carried on exactly as at
lir3t intended. In 1830 there was a
great enthusiasm for the monuments of
the past throughout Germany, and the
work of completing the pile was taken
hold of with energy under King William
Frederick III., of Prussia. It has been
pushed Idr ward rapidly and as much has
been done in tho past fifty years as could
have been done in centuries of tho mid-
dls ages. - Tho greater part of the build
ing is really of modern construction
One of tho towers contains the famous
kaiser glocke (emperor's bell) presented
by Emperor William in thanksgiving
for the victory over r ranee. Iho work
has been done by large government ap
propriations, pnvate subscription, and
tho Cologne CutLeiral building society,
with frequent drawings ol a grand lot
tery. Tho nave, aisles and tho tran
sept were eon iecratod in llS, and the
wbolo interior wua thrown open in
lb63
The United States and Europe.
We number now nearly or quite 60,-
000,000 people. A hundred million could
be sustained without increasing the area
of a single farm or adding one to their
number by merely bringing our product
up to the average fjnndard of reasonably
good agriculture; and then there might
remain for export twice the quantity we
now send abroad to feed the hungry in
foreign lands. No longer divided by the
curse of slavery, this nation is now
united by bonds of mutual interest, of
common sneech. tied bv the iron band of
B5,00n miles of railway, and is yet oniy
beginning to leel the vital power ana
erandeur of truly national existence.
What may be the future of this land few
can yet conceive. Texas alone com
prises as much territory as the German
empire, Enjland and Wales combined.
Texas has now about 2.000.000 people
within her boundaries; the German
empire, England and Wales about 67,
000.000. The good land in Texas is
f nual in area to the good land in Ger
many and Great Britain. Kansas,
Nebraska and Iowa combined more than
equal Franco in area and possess more
fertile land . Only twenty-five years ago
John rirown and his companions re
deemed Kansas from slavery. Ne
braska was then indicated on our
own maps as a part oi me
great American desert." and Iowa had
scarcely occome a eiaie. Aiieir popu
lation may now be 2,500,000. France
has 47,000,000. The great middle lection
of Eastern Tennessee. jNortncrn
Georcria. Western Carolina and South
ern Virginia has been hemmed in by the
curse of slaverv. and is yet almost a
terra incoenita. but it is replete with
wealth in mmera s. in umoer and in
fertile valleys of almest unequal climate
for health and viaror. This section is
almost equal to the Austrian empire in
its area, and more than equal in re
sources. It has a sparse population of
only one or two millions. The Austrian
empire has over 37,000.000. The healthy
upland country of Georgia. Alabama
and tho Carolinas contains vast area of
fertile woodland, which can be bought
by the hundred thousand acres at hail a
dollar or twenty-five cents an acre, on
which sheep and cotton thrive equany
well. These sections aro being slowly
occupied by white farmers, and wait for
immisrrants who can bring them to use.
" ouu -y, -i
upon the kernel of the cotton-seed, and
unon the masses that follow the cotton,
In a few short years, sheep, ted mainly
upon the grasses that follow the cotton,
will send to market irom tne same ueios,
alternately occupied, as much wool as
cotton. This warm section is more than
eaual to Italy in area; it has perhaps
2,000,000 people. Italy contains 27,000,-
000. The fertile lands of tho bhenan-
doal valley in Virginia, and along tho
rotomac m Maryland, more man equal
Belgium. They may contain half a mil
lion neon e. Jieigium nas more man
five million. In the consideration ol
this problem of productive capacity
there are other factors of the greatest
importance. What are the burdens to
be borne by our people compared to
others? What is the mortgage on this
land that we possess. E. A. Atkinson,
in Fortnightly Hcvicw.
Old Things.
Do you know, anyhow, I don't feel
mucli reyerenco for old things that aie
?W I suppose it is ueathenish
and
awiuuy uoonsu, uut i vnu u ucip it.
A man shows me a teapot or a tooth
brush and tells me his grandmother used
them fifty-six years and that was one
hundred and sixty-two years ago. I
can't uncover mv head, and go down be
fore the venerable relic on mv bonded
kn:es. in a spirit of veneration. I feel
more like tellinzhitu it was time theold
girl gDt new ones. Family relics, like
family babies have no sort of interest for
any outside of the family. Here, the
other day a man bought an old spinning
wheel. " One hundred and twelve years
old," he told me, proudly, and he was
eoing to take it home, and set it up in his
library and never part with it. And for
the life ol me. I couldn't see why. It
had no Interest in the world lor him
beyond its age. He might have gone
out into the street and picked up a
boulder two thousand vars old with
just as much local and liistorical inter
est for him as the spinning wheel. But
that the former owner ot the spinning
wheel should sell it for money, that did
surprise me. It had a world ot memo
ries for him. He could touch the
treadle and the whirring wheel
would croon out the same old mono
tone that had droned its drowsy aecom
paniment to the cradlo songs that had
l l ... J l " . 1 , :H I . ., I. An.ia.
it would sing to him in ills manhood
and in the long evenings of his old age,
ol a white-haired "grandma" and a
mother with patient face and beautiful
eves: it would sing of a thousand old-
time memories and forgotten faces; it
would repeat snatches ot old songs, and
old lorgottea tender words for him ; it
wou.d sing how the tenner mother's lace
grew patient and sad and careworn ns
the ycar3 went on. and the beautiful
eves were laded with tears and dimmed
with watching and the loving hand
fainted with weariness until at 'ust one
day tho wairring wheel stood still, and
its silence spread a great heavy quiet
all over the old home, only broken now
and then by low, soft breathing whis
pers and tho sobbing of motherless
children in the little rooms; by and by
the tremulous voice of the white-haired
pastor, and then homely voices singing
some grand old liymns of tho deathless
faith that mother died in, tlio sullling
feet ot tho bearers, and then nothing in
the darkened room but u creeping ray
of sunshine falling in through the blind,
and a quiet so deep that the hum of tho
bees in the old-fashionod vinos triiling
about the window had a Btrangely
plaintive sound. How the man whose
grandmother and mother sat at that
busy wheel, could sell it, 1 cannot un
durstand. But what it c-ould be to the
man who bought it, is fully as great a
mystery. Jit will sin.: none of those
songs to him. It would I e liken in m
talking Bengalee to u Spanish parrot.
JSurddU.
FIUURES FOR THE FAMILY.
flow Mr
Spooprnilyke Audited the Ac
comtls of Ills Wife.
"Now, my dear," said Mr. Spoopeti-
dyke, " if you'll bring mc the pen ami
ink, I'll look over your accounts and
straighten 'cm out for you. I think
vour idea ol keeping an account oi the
daily expenses is the bes&thing you ever
did. It's business like, and I want to
enourage you in it."
" Here's the ins," said Mrs. spoopen-
dyke, growing radiant at the compli
ment. " I had the pen day before yes
terday. Let me think," and she dove
into her work basket and then glanced
nervously under the bureau.
W ell, do you suppose l m going to
split up my fingure and write with
thatP' demanded Mr. bpoopendyke.
' Where's the pen P I want the pen."
I put it somewhere," said Mr3.
Rpoopendyke. "Aht here I have it.
Now you see," she continued, " I put
what money I spend down here. This
is your account here and this is the
joint account. You know "
" What s this?" asked Mr. bpoonpen-
dyke.
T hat s your account; this"
" No, no, I mean this marine sketch
in the second line."
"ThatP Oh, that's a 7."
"S'posc I ever spent seven dollars
with a tail like to it? If you're going
to makn figures, why don't you make
figures. What d'ye want to make a
picture of a prize fight in a column of
accounts for? What is this elephant
doing here?"
I think that s a 2," replied Mrs.
Spoopendyke, dubiously. "Maybe it's
a 4. I can tell by adding it up."
"What are you going to add upP
D'ye count in this corner lot and that
rose bush and this pair of suspenders?
U'ye add them inP"
"That's a C and that is a 5 and
the last is an 8. They come out all
right, and during the Insi month you
have spent more than I and the joint
account together."
Haven't either. When did 1 spend
this broken-down gunboat P"
" That ain't a boat. Il's $12 for your
suit."
Well, this tramp fishing off a rock.
when did 1 spend himr"
It ain't a tramp. It's $50 cash you
f t . T i n t- ft whnr Trmi nnenr
took, and i aon t know wnat you spent
it for. . Look at my account, now-'
" What's the man pulling a gig for?"
1 It's nothing of the sort, That ain't
a gig, it's $1 lorwiggin. xouseei ve
only spent $22 in a month, and you've
spent $184."
xou can t ten oy tuts what I've
done," growled Mr. Sooopendyke.
What s this rat trap doing in the
joint account ?"
" that s tourteen cents lor iruit, when
you were sick."
And this measly-looking old hen,
what's she got to do with it?"
lhat s no hen. That s a 2. it means
$2 for having your chair mended."
W hat have you charged me with
this old graveyard for?"
" lhat s hfttcn cents for sleeve elas
tics. The 15 ain't plain, but that's what
it is."
How do you make out I havo spent
so much P Where's the vouchers P Show
me the vouchers P
I don't know what vou mean." said
Mrs. Spoopendyke, "but you spent all
I put down."
' Haven't done anything of the sort.
Show me some vouchers. Your ac
count's a humbug. You don't know
how to keep an account
1 Yes, I do," pleaded Mrs. Spoopen
dyke. "and I think it's all right."
" ISO you don t. 'What do you mean
by getting up engraviugs of a second
hand furniture store and claiming that
it s my account P You re a grfat book
keeper, you are. All you want is a sign
hung between you and the other side ot
the street, to be a commercial college
If I ever fail in business. I'm going to
nil you up with benches and start a
nizht school. Give me that pen," and
Mr. Spoopendyke commenced running
up the co'umns. " x wo two s lour and
eight twelve and four sixteen and carry
onetD the next and three is four. Here,
this is wrong, r ou ve got an eighteen
lor a twenty here."
"Eh? ' lerked out Mrs. fc-poopendyke.
"This is $204. not $184 I knew you
couldn t keep accounts. 1 ou can t even
add up."
That makes your account even
bieger," responded Mrs. Spoopendyke
1 didn t think it was so much."
Slam went the boo across the room
followed bv tho pen. and the ink would
have gone too, but Mrs. bpoopendykc
cautiously placed it out of harm s way
Hod gast it! ' howled Mr. bpoopen
dyke, as he tore of his clothes and pre
pared for bed. " You ain't fit to have
a pen and ink. Next time I want my
accounts kept I'll keep 'em chained up
in the yard, and don t you go near 'em ;
hear mef '
"Yes. dear." sighed Mrs Spoopen
dyke, as she slipped the obnoxious book
into the drawer. isrooclyn .ay e.
Words of Wisdom'
Prefer loss before unjust gain, for
that brings grief but once, and this lor
ever.
The modern nwjesty consists in work
What a man can do is his createst orna
ment, and he always consults his dignity
by doing it.
Title and ancestry render a good man
more illustrious, but an ill one inor
contemptible. Vice is infamous, thouch
in a prince; and virtue honorable,
though' in a peasant.
Where a man makes his money there
lie should make his home, aud, as a rule,
it will mainly bo his fault and that ol
his family il ho cannot spend his iilo
there with profit and satisfaction,
Without earnestness no man is ever
great or does really great things, lie
may bo the cleverest man; tie may he
brilliant, entertaining, popular, but he
will want weight. No soul-moving
picture was ever painted that had not in
ils depth a shadow.
Col Bono t
What is hopo T A smiling rainbow
Children tollow through the wet;
'Tis not here, still yonder, yonder;
Nover urchin tound it yet.
What is life. T A thawing icoberg
On a soa with sunny shore;
Gay, we sail; it molts boneath ns;
We are sunk, and seen no more.
What is man T A looliah baby,
Vainly strives, and fights, anl frets;
Demanding all; doaerving nothing;
Ono small grave is all he gets.
Thoma Carlylt.
ITEMS OF INTEREST.
Early to bed and early to rise is a very
good plan to escape being interviewed
by flies.
It ain't what goes in, but what goes"
out of tho inkstmd that makes the
trouble Boslo7i Transcript.
"Mine, miner, minus ! " This is the
general upshot ot speculation in mining
stock. Faicrson Press.
From 1871 to 1880 Chicngo had 13'J
murders, twenty-two of them occurring
on Juiy days and only seven in Febru
ary. It is said that a woman's voice can bo
heard for two miles by a man in a
balloon. That may bo the reason why
i ii r i,
so lew men go up in uauons. itcxs
Sun.
A Commercial Travelers' Car com-
... t i.i ;i a.
pany will bo organized in ueirou w
build cars with restaurant and sleeping
accommodations and spacious compart-
ments lor the display ol samples.
A man near Houston. Texas, made
$000 per acre this year Irom the cultiva
tion of domestic blackberries. Tho
yield was 3,000 quarts per acre, which
sold at twenty cents a quart.
A man condemned to four years im
prisonment at Casano, Italy, starved
himself to death. From the day of his
sentence he refused to take food, and no
compulsion being resorted to he died at
the end ol thirty days.
A South American plant has been
found that cures bashfulncss. It should
be promptly tried by the man who
leaves the hotel by the back window
because he is too difhdent to say good
bye to the cashier and clerk.
The tickets of admission to ancient
circuses and other exniDiiions were
freauentlv little "squeezes" of baked
clay, the material having been pressed
into moius Dealing cuigies appiu-uaic
to the different tiers of seats in an
amphitheater, cr having reference to
the town or city. For example, an
elephant stood for one place or tier, an
eagle for another.
" Are seeds of the future lying under
the leaves of the pastP" is the very per
tinant inquiry of a knowledge-seeker.
They may be; or it's barely possible
that the seeds ol the past are lying unaer
the leaves of the luture; or the leaves
of the luture may be lying under the
seeds tf the past ; or the seeds ol tho
leaves may bo lying under the luture of
tho past at any rate something is lying,
and if you expect to get through a
heated political campaign like this with
out it, there's where you dispose of your
self. Marathon Independent.
Tbe Fire Laws or Japan.
The severity with which persons in
Japan are punished who have the mis-
lortuno 10 ue ourneu oui is siaicu iui
lows by the Scientific American:
If the house is occupied and is acci
dentally set on tire, the person through
whose carelessness the ore is siarieo re- .
ceives ten cays' imprisonment wuu
hard labor; if it is inhabited and the
fire be produced bv the proprietor, then
he is punished with twenty days; if the
hre spreads to other houses, tue sentence
is forty days, and when anybody is
killed thereby, ono degree heavier: but
if tho person killed is a relative ol tho
first degree, the punishment is one hun
dred days; if tho house belongs to the
government, one hundred days; if a
temple, from sixty days to one year, uui
ten years are indicted if it happens to bo
one of the great temples of Isle, or in
the precincts oi tue imperial paiace. n
a robber sets fire unintentionally to a
house, he is punished with at least
three years imprisnment with hard
labor. Decapitation awaits incen
diaries, ten years penal servitude an at
tempt at arson, tho punishment being
mitigated if the would-be incendiary is
a servant who lias just received a sharp
rebuke, or if the attempt bo maele on an
uninhabited dwelling. If a man sets
lire to his own house, ninety days, but
it the tire spreads to houses in the
neighborhood, two years and a half; and
penal servitudo for life is inflicted it tho
oflender profits by the opportunity of
tire to purloin goods or property.
Kobiu Ked-Breast.
Tho English robir, after whom our
robin is named, has some very pleasant
traits ol character. For one thing, ho is
tender-hearted, and is often known to
feed and comfort suffering birds,
whwther they are of his own kind or
not. Stories aro told of homesick birds
shut up in cacs being visited by robins
and cheered up by social chattering, and
also ol their being supplied by the same
generous little creatures with worms
and other nice morsels ol lood. Young
birds which fall out ot the nest before
they can fly seem to bo tho special care
of the robins. They will feed and care
for them, ai d at last teach them to fly,
and lly away with the grateful young
sters. The bird we call a robin, though
he is quite ns interesting as tho English
rabin, and has his own pleasant, lively
ways, lias really no riht to tho name,
being in facta thrush. Whatever we
cad him, ho is a bright, intelligent fel
low, and nothing ciui bo funnier than to
see him jerk a worm out of tho ground
lor his breakfast. -Ntw JltumUih Mis
c gr.