She $cwsi gtpuilban.
18 PUBLISH KI EVEKY WKDNKHDAY, BY
W K. Djjxx. '
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ELM BTEEET, TIONESTA, PA.
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VOL. XI. NO. 37. TIONESTA, PA., DECEMBER 4, 1878. 82 PER ANNUM.
V
ThnnkflglTing.
The boaded front at early mora
Gleams wbitoly o'er tbe stubble,
And pant tbe caves at night In borne
Tbe north wind's wall of trotible ;
nt shines the earth with mddy light,
The board is gay and cheery,
And household mirth is flowing bright
Hound hearts forlorn and weary.
How dark soe'er the world path be,
now vexing earthly clamor,
To-day the sunbeams goldonly
Fonr down a heavenly glamour.
The warring voices coase, or blend
In ohords of solemn sweetness,
While harvest anthems seek the friend
Who gives tbe year completeness.
For tender spring, for summer s wealth,
For autumn's royal splendor,
For ho moil of peace, for Joy and health,
Thanksgivings full we render ;
And age with winter's sifted snow
Moots childhood's snnny weather :
The seasons come, the seasons go,
And all are glad together.
" LEFTENANT JIM."
A STORY OP TH4NK8GIVIN9 DAY .
Time About 11 o'clock, a. m. of a
November morning, 1G8 a dead sky
above and a dead earth beneath, as thej
are seen in dreams.
Place A litf'o creek wedged in be
tween two high banks, and alow rickety
bridge over the creek, whose three-foot
depth of water was filmed with ice ;
water whose sleeping ripples had not
been wakent d by the sun.
Person A shabby, scarcrow sort of
maa bending over the roil, leaning the
while on his arm. The flgnre hardly
seemed a man. Its once black hat of
felt was rnsty hned, and haggled with
gashes, out of which sprouted thin
b inches of jet, black hair. The brim
wis pulled down, front and rear. The
coat, once part of a nobby summer suit,
was dirty, stained by rain, bleached by
s line, and trimmed with holes, the scut
tling leaks of unostentatious ill-fortune.
iue repose of man and nature was
suddenly and sharply ended. A tuneless
whistle broke out behind one of the
banks a feeble, wavering spirit of hor
rible discord suoh a sound as only a
little boy can make with cheeks and
lips. The man turned his head a little.
Through the air sailed a speck. It
dropped upon the arm of the lounger.
It was a stone. It hurts, for the man
stood erect, uttered an oath, and turned
his face to the road down which now
traJged a small boy, The youngster
and the whistle stopped as tbey reached
the bridge. The face frightened the
bov. It was thin, baggar.l, and savage,
with a black board of a fortnight'?
growth, aud wild eyes that showed by
their setting how hunger had crowded
them baok and pinched the nose and
cheeks ; not a cru d face, all in all, but
one made pitiable by hopelessness and
starvation,
" You young rascal," he 6aid, catch
ing the little fellow and giving him a
gontle shako ; ' I've a good mind to drop
yon into the river and let the minnows
tight for yon. What did you hit me for,
eh?"
The captive, more frightened than
hurt, yelled at the first touch, and then
boy faahion, dropped to tears.
"What did you mean ? " aaks the inan,
suddenly softening in temper and
speech, and putting his hand, with
kindly touch, on the little fellow's
head.
" I didn't mean nothin'," sobbed the
child. " I I was only tryin' to whisf
"Hal ha! That was it, eh? You
made a very bad note in your tune,
don't you know ? You pegged me with
a stone. The Btone hurt, hurt even a
fellow like me,"
" I didn't mean to," says the child.
"Of course not. l Know that new.
You couldn't ece me. I'll apologize
Now stop crying, cheer up, call it even,
and let's bo friends 1 Is it a bargain ? "
Bnt the sobs would come up and the
tears fill the eyes. The boy had sprung
a leak and seemed likelv to sink. The
man became nervous. lie might fright
en a grown-up fellow, aud enjoy the
victory ; but as to this child well ! he
was heartily ashamed of himself. 80
he tried the strategy of wealth. He
thrust ono hand into tiie. ruins of a pock
et. It worked ubopptherein like the
scoop of a dredge. Mt came to the en
trace, full of debris.
" Hee here, little one I " he cries, get
ting down upon his knees, aud spreading
his collection upon the boards. "Just
look here ! Isn't this -brio-a-brae, as
they call it ? " That's a brass button
useless for want of a button-hole. That
comb I'll keep for my party-going hair.
Yea 1 1 know you have one. That's to
baooo, but you don't chew. This fat
jaok-knife is uo good, for it will not cut,
I only, keep it because it shuts up when
I want to tfdk. Ugh ! Don't touch
that I for it's vile tobacco. Here's a
key to a house I never owned. Let me
see I That, I guess, is bread done up in
tobacco. We'll "oast that upon the
waters," pitching it iuto the creek.
Wheat the last of my crops. String
you can't eat that and there's not enough
for a kite. Ah ' Here we have it
" the sad remains of au ill-spent life "
and ho flopped in the pa! in of his hand
a dingy hve-eeut piece. JNow sonny,
wring out your eyes, stop crying, make
friends with me, and the money is yours
for candy or the uiiaaionary-box, as you
choose. la it a bargain f "
The boy's eyea brightened. He swal
lowed his sobs, put out his hand, took
the money cud said "Thank you!"
Uis captor laughed.
"That's the way of the world, Johnny,
boy. You can always buy silence for
grief. Remember that, when you come
to make your will. As I've paid you
for five cents' worth of misery, show me
the candy store I" He had said all this
in a grave way, just as if he were talking
to some one who could understand him;
and the boy had looked on just as if he
did not (which was the fact) compre
hend what was meant. But " candy
store " were two words of one meaning
for him, and he became a guide where,
heretofore, he had not even followed.
It's at Winscom," he said.
" And where is that, my cherub ?"
" Over the hill there. I was going to
it when you cotched me. "
"Tut! tut! Don't say cotched I
Say caught !"
" Caught !"
"Excellent. Now I'm going to
Winscom. Homebody in it owes me a
big dinner for not giving me my break
fast. Will your royal littleness that
is to say, Johnny, will you ride?"
"Where's your horses?" asks the
boy.
"In iy boots, infant! Oh, you
needn't look for them. They're sure to
be out at the toes, when you want 'em.
Don't be afraid. I'm a tramp, and I'm
hungry; but I don't eat little boys.
Steady, now, sit on my shoulder I"
With a laugh, and a whistle as sharp
as a mocking-bird's, he swung the child
to his shoulder, settled him firmly and
moved slowly and with labored steps
over the road to Winscom, his rider
aglow the while with boyish exultation,
and chirruping like a jockey.
"Let me down I" shouts the boy, as
they arrive in the outskirts of Wins
com. I live in that house. Oh, papa !
papa !"
A bare-headed man, standing with his
back to the road, looked around, and
then came hurriedly to the gate. His
boy in the possession of a ragged strang
er gave him a fright.
"Here you I What are you dome
with my son ?" he demanded. M Rob,
get down this minute. Ain't yon
ashamed of yourself ?"
" tie ought to be, answered the
trump, as he swnng tbe boy to the walk.
" He ought to be. The Lord knows
'm ashamed of myself. But, sir, we
can't all be Vanderbilts. I'm no inten
tion of stealing youi son. I gave him a
lift because I liked him. Good-rnorn-
ii g 1" and with a downward jerk front
and rear to the brims of his shabby old
hat and punching his hands into shabby
old pockets, this woeful vagabond went
huflhng away against the raw wind and
dc wn the leaf-carpeted street.
The respectable citizen, for balf a
minute, seemed puzzled, end leaned
over the gate, shading his eyes with
his hands, though there was no sun,
and inattentive to the story which the
urchin at his legs was pouring out
" 1 11 b wear H s be, he says at last.
" It's Jim. I'd know him among a thou
sand." Then, half opening the gate, he
called out:
" Leftenant P
The figure proceeded without a re
sponsive motion. ,
" Lei tenant Jim I
1 That time it was a shout It was
heard. The tramp halted, whirled
half about, touched his hat involun
tarily, shook his head angrily, call
ed himself an idiot, whirled about
and went on bis way at a more rapid
pace than he had shown during the day
and all regardless of the recall of
" Leftenant ! Leftenant I"
- " That was the dear old call of the
dear old boys; and it is Belden, by all
that's great," he says, half pleased with
the recall, and vet half ancrv at discov
ery. " But why can't I be left alone
and utterly lost to an who Knew me be
fore f became a a tramp ?" and the
last word came out with an emphasis
that showed an agony 01 sname: v
kill myself if I dared. Ah, if I dared.
Bah ! I'm hungry. No breakfast, and
here it is high noon by the sun, ' Lef
tenant Jim,' if yon want something to
eat or drink, you must beg for it, yon
hero of lunacy, you miserable vagabond,
yon outcast, you pauper."
He was not joking with himself when
he brought out these last words. He
was somberly mad. At the same time
he was so full of shameful hesitation at
the inevitable course that he would have
to pursue in order to get a meal, that
he abandoned the main street and
sought the Bhelter of the underbrush by
the river, that he might think over the
matter.
Meantime Belden had run into the
house for his hat.
" Wife," he cried ; " Sis, both of you,
listen ! I've just seen Leftenant Jim.
I am going out to catch him, confound
him."
"Bring him to dinner, Charlie!"
says both of them in one voice, for they
had heard of this friend for years. But
when Rob told his little adventure, and
described his morning's companion.
they rather hoped the lieutenant might
not be caught
Up into the village raced Belden. He
had missed his man on the road. At the
drug store, at the tavern, at the grocery,
he demanded "Have you seen 'Lef
tenant Jim ?' " No one had seen him ;
but few. apparently had heard of him.
At the postoffloe the crowd of loungers
were just as ignorant, just as indifferent
as were those at the other resorts. More
than- that, some of- them asked for in
formation as to the officer's identity.
It was then that Belden became an un
age of wrath, that he glared with fierce
eyes, that he smote his hands and snap
ped his Cngera in indignation.
"Who is Leftenant Jim? Nice men
you are. I've told you forty times, but
I'll tell vou again. I'll tell you who he
was and and, thanks to a grateful
country I what he is. He was a soldier
without fear, a hero unhonored, and a
sergeant without promotion, save by his
comrades and I was one of them. It
was plain private Jim, who got six bul
lets in his body for picking up his com
pany's flag and holding it until the ene
my had to. tear it from him in
strips and make his body a bullet
poucb. It was Corporal Jim who with
four men captured a six-pounder at
Ohancollorsville and fought it until only
Jim was left. It was Sergeant Jim who,
in the Wilderness, while waiting under
fire for orders to advance, left the ranks,
flicked up a shell that lay with burning
use not ten feet from him, carried it to
a mud-puddle and threw it in. It was
then the boys made him leftenant. And
two hours later it was this same leften
ant whe fought like a demon over the
body of his wounded colonel, and got
two saber cuts as his reward for saving
his man. He wanted to die, he said,
but conidn't get kiiled. That's a little
of what he was. To-day I've seen him
I thought he was dead and he is a
tramp, gentlemen, a miserable vaga
bond, with clothes too mean for
scavenger, and without food enough in
side of him to keep his skin in place.
Give him something to eat if he asks it,
and you U feed a hero. As for me, he
is to me as a brother. My home shall
be his .home, if I can find him." Hav
ing delivered this speech, he set out
once more in search of bis friend.
Poor Jim, crouching in the brush,
weary and cold, had dozed a little at
first Then he began to chew basswood
buds and wondered, as he munched,
how and where, he should get his dinner.
He disliked to venture out of his place
of concealment, for he feared Belden
more than he ever feared au enemy. In
all his vagabondage he had never yet
asked for more costly charity than a
drink of water. He bad worked when
he could get anything to do, and earned
his money, the last of which had gone
to the boy. He had avoided towns be
cause their people were inhuman, giv
ing strangers no chance. But he was in
Winsoom the great city lay only a
dozen miles away and he must eat
though he begged for it, and was turned
from door after door.
He rose to his feet, every motion caus
ing him pain, and came out into an open
lot The wind had freshened since
morning. The skies had darkened, and
dashes of fine snow gave signs of a bad
night Adown tee long street into
which he emerged not a person was to
be seen. A dull town, thought the lieu
tenant, forgetting that its men went to
the city. Then he made a circuit to
avoid Belden, and to escape groups of
people: He began - his disagreeable
task at a diagonal point of the town from
where he started.
At three houses the door was shut in
his face before his request for food
was half spoken. The " Leften
ant" swore at this sort of treat
ment That was natural enough for. a
hungry man who had been a hero ; but
everybody did not know his record. Of
course not, and they would never hear
of it from his lips. Moody and despair
ing, he prepared for what he resolved
should be his last request. A hand
some cottage was before him. It was
well-lighted, for the dusk was falling.
He pushed up his hat on oneaido and
pulled it down on the other, that it
might have a more jaunty look. He took
that trouser leg out of his boot and de
posited" in his pocket the string which
had belted his coat. Those little alter
ations did not change bis appearance
much, but they softened some of the
outlines. His timid knock at the back
door was answered by a buxom Irish
girl. As the door opened, there rushed
out the fragrant incense of roasting
turkey.
"I am hungry," he began. "I've
had nothing to eat to-day."
The door began to close. He put his
hand against it.
"For heaven's sake give me some
thing, if it's not more than a crust of
bread ! "
It was the hero "Lieukr i Jim'
who was pleading for just a A mouth
fuls.. The door opeued a littloA
VaV a linrd-lrtnkittff trami- r '
said the girl. n
- O -m I
" I know it, admitted the lie
" And the mistress is might jtf
lar," continued the girl. " Tu?
rt va'q va fail iiint. ran nvav
ticu
,et one
U the
J " . ' J.i.
shpoon, though, to be sure ltv s an
ould iron one. Ye'a a mighty uly fel
low." "Perhaps. But I don't steal," as
serted the ex-soldier. " Now think a
minute! I've eaten nothing to-day.
Give me a bit of something. I'll eat it
in the back yard anywhere.".
" Well, come in," said the girl doubt
fully. "I'll take my chances. There,
set in that chair and don't shpake a wur
rud." She bustled around and soon handed
him a plate loaded with cold meat and
bread, a generous slice of butter on the
edge, and a bowl of milk to keep the
food company.
" Pitch in now !" she ordered. " You
tind to your business and I'll tind to
mine, but no thavery."
Dinner had not been served. He
heard the hnm of distant conversation
and little bursts of laughter in a distant
room. Now and then some one struck
a piano. The lieutenant's keen eyes
swept the kitchen and the pantry. Be
fore him was a wealth of pies. A pot of
coffee on the stove bubbled up its in
cense. The turkey sizzled and crackled
in the oven. Dishes of apples and nuts
and raisins were upon the long table.
Everything betokened "nusual festivi
ties. " A party ?' he eaid, nodding toward
the front part of the house.
"Thanksgiving day " was the senten
tious reply.
"Ah! s'o it is. Ihadforgottenit.lt
is a day not down in my almanac."
The girl stopped as if . to say some
thing, but changed her mind snd went
on with her work.
A door opened and a little fairy of a
girl perhaps six years old came in to the
room. She stood with her hands be
hind her, and watched the " man " eat.
His plate was nearly empty. He felt like
one intoxicated.
" Were you ever hungry, little one '("
he asked of the miss, scraping the last
crumbs off his plate.
" Lots of times ; but never so hun
gry as you. And I don't eat in the
kitchen'
Nor I, either, always ; but I like
it" said the lieutenant, rubbing his
month on the baok of his hand in lieu
of a napkin. " In fact, it's fine."
" Don't ye's talk too much now, Miss
Laura !" ordered Bridget, kneeling to
baste the turkey. The small girl shrug
.ged her shoulders and pouted.
"Is yon really a tramp ?" asks Laura',
coding a little nearer.
."A first-class one." says the lieuten
ant " look at my boots," and he bal-
KtnnnA V.fa f nl nn l.-'a
i " They's real funny. They's laugh
"Ipg" said the child, stooping over to
itudy the chasms in the toes.
" Don't your papa wear Bnch boots ?"
inquired the man. . -7 'i
"I ain't got no papa," the girl re
plied. " Nor I," laughed the tramp, but the
child was very sober.
" My name's Laura, what's your
name ?" she asked, a moment later.
" My name ?" said the lieutenant, his
face becoming very grave. " My name ?
I haven't any. I lost it long ago.'.'
" Did anybody find it ?" was the ques
tion sagely propounded. She stood
close to him now, one hand on his knee,
and wistfully looking up into his face.
A something he saw in it overcame
him, and he bowed his head, in his
hands.
" Don't be imperent !" said Bridget.
"Lave the man alone ! I think you'd
better be going, sir."
The leftenant raised his head.
"I think so, too." He looked again
into the child's face--s looped down and
kissed her. -
"My hat!" he demanded, sharply, as
he turned away.
It was near the dining-room door,
where Bridget's dress had swept it He
stooped to pick it up. At the same in
ftant tbe door opened and a handsome
woman, richly dressed and not more than
thirty years of age, stood in the door
way. As he rose his face looked into
hers. His hat dropped from his hand
and he staggered back..-!
" O God 1" he cried. V It is Marian."
A quick cry of surprise and joy came
from the lips of the woman. Sue placed
her hands on his shoulders and gazed
lovingly and mutely into his face. The
man's head slowly drooped.
" Husband, look at me I she cried,
catching his hands in hers.
1 cannot, 1 dare not. See what 1
am ! Remember what I was to you,"
he said.
"Always my husband, James, and
always forgiven."
"Always your husband? standing
erect and with a wild vigor in his atti
tude.' " Marian, I heard that the law
had freed you from me, because I struck
yon when I was drunk, and in my shame
deserted you when I was sober."
" It was all false. I have waited for
you for five long years. I knew you
would come back some day. Now you
are here. Poor, poor husband ! How
you muBt have suffered ! Come with
me! Laura, child, come! The back
way is clear."
Still he hung back. "I am not fit,"
he said. " I am forever disgraced. Let
me go away and come back again some
time when I am no longer a tramp."
"James, this is Thanksgiving Day.
It is our day, if anybody's. You must
come. You are no longer a tramp,
thank God Come ! It is home again
for all of us ;" and putting her arms
around her huhlmnd she led him out of
the room and out of his bondage.
An hour later the tramp sat at his
wife's table as a gentleman, dressed iu
black clothes, his hair trimmed, his
beard cut in civilized bhape. The trans
formation was complete. To his wife,
her father, her brother and her brother's
wife, he told, after grace, the story of
his self-imposed exile, of the shame and
remorse which had followed him for
years, of the strange faith which had
brought him back that night to the
presence of one whom he had supposed
to be a thousand miles away, and for
ever lost to him.
Happy ! No home ever knew keener
joy than waited upon this reunion ; no
home ever had such pathos at its Thanks
giving dinner. Of all his heroism none
was nobler than that which made " Lef
tenant Jim " once more a husband and
father the heroism of confessing and
regretting the greatest wrong of his
life.
Sicilian Brigands.
The Sicilian authorities have no easy
task in attempting to suppress brigand
age, even after they have caught their
brigands. At Palermo recently twenty
three bandits were put upon trial, being
cooped up in an iron cage. Bo frightened
were the people of the neighborhood
that only twenty jurors out of a panel
of fifty appeared, and when eight of the
convicted prisoners were being removed
in a van, the van by remarkable coin
cidence broke down at a lonely place on
the road, and the three most formidable
ruffians escaped, two of whom had been
sentenced for fourteen crimes, including
murders and kidnapping.
In Dlstrese.
A policeman was passing down Rich
mond street last Wednesday afternoon
when he heard a woman's voice lifted
iu high lamentation ; opening the wicket,
he strode up to thfl door, where a wo
man was lying prone on the steps, be
dewing the rubber foot-mat with her
briny tears.
" What is the matter, mam ?" he said,
gently.
" Ooh, boo, 00 h ?" said the stricken
female.
" Now, don't take on so. "said the club
carrier, with tremulous gentleness; "tell
me what is the matter."
" Oh, I, I'm, a a ooh, 00 h !"'and
she wept afresh and copiously.
" Why, my dear, dear madam," said
the officer, " what great sorrow has
blighted your life and drove the sun
shine from your happy home ? Where
fore are yon thus cast down into the
depths of anguish ? Why are the foun
tains of your being broken up, and your
beantions eyes become springs from
which the aqueous fluid"
" Get out, yon brute ! ooey, ooh, 0
o h, boo-hoo."
The sympathetic officer was bon
plnssed. He backed off a step or two,
and, as his great heart throbbed in
sympathy with so much suffering; he
could but make one more effort at com
fort . ."Madam," said he, and as he spoke
"his vbice grew husky with emotion;
" madam, I sympathize with yon from
the.bottom of my heart, and, while yon
do not seem disposed to trust me, yet if
there is anything in the round world I
can do to lift this sorrow from your
heart, let me do it. I assure you it is
no idle curiosity. I would be your
friend. I will avenge your wrongs, and
the services of one loyal and true are
yours if yon will accept them. I would
not pry into that whioh does not con
cern me, but I know that some great
sorrow is upon you, and gently, tender
ly would I raise the pall that hangs
about your life, dress the wounds that
have been opened in yonr tender heart,
and pour the balsam of consolation over
tbe"
He did not notice in. his vehemence
that the woman had stealthily risen,
but she had, and, launching the foot
mat full in his face, she said :
"Get out o' this, you mean old
blatherskite ! Yon're meaner than that
old guardian in this dime novel who
wouldn't let his niece marry the hand
some trappec If I want to cry about
what I read it's none o your business."
Two blocks away the policeman flicked
a bootblack off the sidewalk by the ear,
and muttered:
"If women ain't the curuBest-built
animals in the world, kill me for a fool
Cincinnati Breakfast Table.
Direrce In Other Lands,
An Arab may divorce his wife on the
slightest occasion. So easy and so com
mon is the practice that Burckhardt as
sures us that he has seen Arabs not
more than forty-five years of age who
were known to have had fifty wives, yet
they rarely have more than one at a
time.
By the Mohammedan law a man may
divorce his wife orally and without any
ceremony ; he pays her a portion, gener
ally one-third of her dowry. He may
divorce her twice and take her again
without her consent, but if he put her
away by a triple divorce conveyed in the
same sentenoe, lie cannot receive her
again until she has been married and
divorced by another husband. .
By the Jewish law it appears that a
wife could not divorce her husband ;
but under the Mohammedan code, for
crnelty and some other causes she may
divorce him.
Among the Hindoos, and also among
the Chinese, a husband may divorce his
wife upon the slightest ground, or even,
without assigning any reason. She is
under the absolute control of her bus
bond.
The law of Frauce, before the revolu
tion following the judgment of the
Catholic church, made marriage indis
soluble, bnt during the early revolution
ary period divorce waH permitted at the
pleasure of the parties when incompati
bility of temper was alleged. The Code
Napoleon restricted thisjiberty. On the
restoration of the Bourbons a law was
promulgated, May 8, 1816, declaring
divorce to be abolished ; that all suits
then pending for divorce by mutual con
sent should be void, and such is now the
law of Frauce. Albany Law Journal.
Burglars and Defaulter.
The New York correspondent of the
Troy Times says: The amount of loss
inflicted on our banks by burglars is
really small when compared with that
due to internal fraud, 'mere nas been
indeed, during my own memory, wseries
of defalcations in the banks of rja city
which would make a burglarTr mouth
water, since in but one case was there
any punishment. Here are a few figures
American exohange bank, pay'g teller. 90,(HK
Fulton bank, caubier's son 65,000
Ocean bank, paying toller iiO.000
Oroooru' bank, aHxiiitint oanhier 60 000
Tradeuman's bank, book-keeper 40,000
Merchants' exohang. bank, cashier. . . (iiK),CM,0
City bank, book-keeper. . . . - 100,000
The entire capital of the Atlantic bank
(300,000) was embezzled by its cashier,
and this was the only instance in which
a sentence was incurred. The bank of
the State of New York lost $500,000 by
the fraud of its officers, who retained
the plunder with perfect immunity.
Every blade of grass in the field is
measured ; the green enps and the color
ed crowns of every flower are curiously
counted ; the stars of the firmament
wheel in cunningly calculated orbits;
even the storms have their laws.
The Old Maid of Athens. . '
Rome where yon will and man U falxe ;
His Spain may be mojt dire
When once he has a Belfast, he
Will shortly of her Tj re.
Tekin this Brest and yon will soo
That Isle of Man most dearly,
And yet Issy this Dublin plan
Will Bonen ns quite clearly.
Heed not, oh, maid, the sighs and Wale
Of man, or else forlorn yon
Will me the time, when feet erect,
He'll puff his Sweden scorn yon.
Though yon be Hungary for love, ,
There's Norway that yon can
Hivana thing that's safe to do
-With such a brute as man.
Eugene Field.
Itemg of Interest,
Ode to a five-hundred-dollar sealskin-
cloak : " Thon art so dear and yet eo
fur." -
The Waco "Examiner estimates the
wheat crop of Texas this year at 12,000,
000 bushels.
A lisping young lady said she hoped
to get married before she was old as
"MithThnthelah."
Lawyers are never more earnest than
when they work with a will that is, if
the estate is valuable.
A boy who went after chestnuts on a
Sunday, broke the Sabbnth, his righ1
leg and his suspenders.
Sam" John, do yon think my poeia ;,
makes music?" John "Don't knov.
Sam, but it makes me sick." . .
To a young msu struggling with y
a still younger mustache, the "darkei-
bour is just before the down.
I will listen to any one's conviction?,
bnt pray keep your doubts to yourself,
I have plenty of my own. Ooethe.
In a discussion on cremation at
London club a member is credited wit!,
the argument: "We earn our li vine ,
why should we not urn our dead I"
A sewing maohine agent, who was very
ill, being told that he must prepare to
pay the debt of nature, wanted to knou
if it couldn't be paid on the monthly in
stalment plan.
" Is your master up?" asked an ear!;
visitor of a nobleman s valet. "Yes,
sir, "'.answered the valet, with great in
nocenoe ; " the butler and I carried bin
up about three o'clock." '
Twelve thousand different works ha
been published in regard to the Amei
can war. A good deal of this w4r liter
ture first saw the light in Europe, b
tbe bulk appeared in the United State,
A chamois, with red eyes, white horn
and hoofs, and a snowy-white fleaco, i
among the curiosities of the Zooplast
museum at Solenre. It is theseco:
specimen found in tue Alps in tm;
years.
Not over one person in three has 1.
of equal length, and eveiy man shoi
be posted on the relative length or l
limbs tkat ho may know which one
use for short and which one for 1
kicking.
A young husband who was advised
his wife to put on his overcoat to t,
down town one cold morning, compl
with her request by pinning a
ti ket on the lappel ot hisundeic
She could not soe through it.
"What," asks a correspond
"causes the hair to fall out?'' D
we answer we must know whether
are married or single. This is inippr
to a true understanding of the cr
Keokuk Comtitution.
French papers state that Gambe'.
about to marry a widow with a fortn
$8,000,000. If the right-angled
everlasting truth were told it v
probably be that he was abent to :
a fortune of 8,000,000 with a wido
"Do you make any reduction
minister ?" said a young lady to ft ...
man. "Always. Are you a mini
wife?" "Oh no. I am not mart
said the lady, blushing. Dan
then?" "No." The tradesman 1
puzzled. " I am engaged to a fis
cal student," said she. The red
was made.
Indian Spirituals.
The natives of the Marquesa i
are reported to be Fpiritualists c
most uncompromising sort. They
that they are always surround
spirits, which, or whom, they ii
fear so long as it is dayl'ght A
as it is dark? however, they are i
tal dread of ghosts, never ventui
alone. Then they go in pair,
fours, fives or sixen, imagining ;
alone, bad spirits may seize uy.
carry them off easily and suddenly,
is supposed that suoh spirits m
search of human samfioeB which t
were unable to procure while iu
flesh. When a native dies, his r
turns into a ghost, it is thought, nv
turns to the place where he hae !
If he or,it can find no human
fice, he is" obliged to depart to 1
nique, the wildest and most steril
the islands, and from thf iSeup i.
sea. As he can never cc , uack to
this is the close of Lt ihostly i
The natives also hav.Vmedium
olaim to have power to summon 1
trol spirits, and as they are L
superstitious, the mediums tL
here, do a good business. The
are usually tuo mediums, and tU
pi et all the mysteries ot the L
world to the ignorant laity. TL
great professions of -sanctity,
the poor savages exactly ss tl v
and are never exposed as "
posters.