Kates of Advertising. Ot!:4'unrp (I in -h,'i Insertion - f! OnnS'jiiHri " one month - -"1(H) OiioN'iiinro " llire-c months - (f 00 Om S'iinro " one jcar - - 10 00 Two S.jiiaros (me year - - lr ''0 Juart:r('l. ..-- .10 (0 llnir - f-0 (0 Olio " ... 100 CO Io:ri1 notlcosftt rwtnhlWhod rate. . 1 'irrittirf. mill ilf.ntli iiotiiwj trrnfts. She forest gcpwMtem. ia rrnusnr.i) kvkuy wkdnkmday, by W It. DUNN'. OFFICE IN ROBINSON & BONNER'S BUILDING ELM STREET, TIONESTA, PA. m Mum wmmiwmi TKKMS, $2.00 A YEA K. No Subscription received for a shorter pnrlod Hint) three! months. 'orrrH)oiii..nco solicited from nil parts i.l tlu' country. No notice will betaken t uuonyiiiouM communications. All bills for yearly advertisements nil lectcd ii:irtor1v. Temporary ndvcrliso- ' liionls inMst h jinhl fur it) ndviinco. VOL. XI. NO. 34. TIONESTA, PA., NOVEMBER 13, 1878. $2 PER ANNUM. Job work, 'n-h on lcli very. 'Tho Water Mill." Linton to the water mill, All the livelong clay How tho clicking of the vheol Wears the hour away. Languidly the antunin wind blirs the groonwood leaves : From tho fluid the reapers sing, landing up the ehoaves ; 'And a memory o'er my mind Ah a spell in cast--Tlio mill will never grind With the wator that is past. " Tnko the losson to yonrself, Loving heart and true ; 0.ldon years are (looting by Youth is panning, too. Strive to make the most of life, Loso no happy day Time will never bring yon back , Chances swept away. Ioavo no tondor word unsaid, Lovo while love shall last Tho mill will novor griud Willi the wator that is past. Work whilo yet tho daylight shines, Man of thought and will Never does the stroamlot glido Useless by tho mill ; Wait riot till to-morrow's sun beams upon yonr way. All that you can call your own Lios in thin to-day.-Tower, intellect and health May not always laBt Tho mill cannot grind With wator that is past. A C. M'Cullnm. The Guard Above the Heart. " I believe I have Riven all the orders, VI ma, juht as you wished. The little jbrary ia already arranged with the last lit Mm bracket ami ntatue in place ; the lining-rooru and kitchen with china, sil ver, linen and Buperb old-fashioned sideboard, junt aa you directed, Lave everything in place. And your room how I wish yon could go and see it is bountiful. There can be no greater harmony thau the blending blue-and gold furnishings of that room." " You are very good, Arthur." " Thanks, Alma ; but not half so good as you in loving me bo tenderly and loyally. But I was bothered about one thing, aweet." ' What was it?" Your writing-desk. It is Bncli gom. 1 don't believe yon can ever write anything but poetry at it. 1 could not crnt a. lilaco in the library for it to finit me. This light was too sharp, and that light t dull. I fancied it needed a soft, . mellow light, bo I set it in yonr riom. ami will leave yon to arrange a place for it. I flatter myself that every thing else will please yon. "The pictures!' ' They are all hung. I can hardly tell you now where each one is. The Beatrice Cenci I hung over the library door which enters to your room." Why, what made yon give it Buoh poor place as that ?" a " For just one little reason of my own, Her great, Bad, RulTeriug, patient eyes are duplicates of your own. So I have hung it there as a sign to me that the door beneath it opens to a placo wherein the goddess of my life presides; also that when tho door is shut, your face Bhall still look down upon me, and fol low me with mournful and guard ful tenderness." " . . Though your love and fancy, Arthur, make my eyes to-day as luminous as rsyohe'a perhaps to-morrow those that love me most may forget or wish to for get that I ever existed; for who can de termine now whether Psycho, the very idol of all poets, was a reality or a dream." " But to morrow you will become all the reality my life shall ever know or wish, for to-morrow, when the priest has had his service and the witnesses have written their names, and your dainty finger has a new ring upon it, I shall set you down in the pretty gojd-and-blae room where Beatrice keeps guard. Then vou shall dismiss or re tain tho historical sentinel.as you ploase, for you shall fill all my to-morrtws with your own sweet self." lie took both her slender white hands in parting, and said: " Remember, we are to be promptly at tho church at four. Good-by, sweet, till then." Her eyes filled with tears, and she clung to him tenderly as if Bhe would not have him go; but Bhe only said " Woll, Arthur, let Beatrice stay where she is, and whenever you look at her think of me, if you will. This last so low that he did not hear. But ho went out busy and happy with thoughts of hiB wedding day. Alma stood still until the door closed behind him, then she clasped her hands and cried : Who am I? What am 1? that I should deceive such a man." When Arthur went on the morrow where the merry guests were assembled for the wedding, the white-robod brido was coue : but iu her room was found a note for Arthur Leroy, which read : 'Arthur, forgivo me. I have not meant to deceive you. IIow it has all come about I hardly know any better thau yourself. But true it is that when vou read this I shall be the wife of another. Farewell, and may your noble heart find forgetf uluess of Alma lave years after. Arthur Jjeroy was standing watching the silent, dark-eyed picturesque group which sat on the gray steps of the Trimta ui juonie in iconic. While he stood and looked, a tall, grace ful woman dressed iu mourmug came down tho street and stood beside him She glanced hurriedly at the same group which his own eyes were scruti nizing. - Arthur was pursuing his artist 10 studies at Borne, and was searching for a model. The woman beside him was upon a Bimilar mission. She, however, seemed to find none among tho group to suit her, and she started to go. As she turned, their glances met. Arthur and Alma were face to face. Her eyes were sadder than ever, and her garb was weeds of mourning. "Arthur I ' Bhe exclaimed, m Bur- prise, holding out her white, Blender hand. The blood receded from his face and left it white as marble. The old life and the old pain surgod back. lie took the tho hand she extended, and said in a cold, cruel voice : " Mrs. lluBscl, I am glad to meet you here. In search of a model, too i Yes." she said in a voice which had a peroeptible quiver ; but I have found none to suit my purpose. I am going now to the Piazzi di-Spagna. Won't you join me, and tell mo how you are and how you Lave been ? lie walked beside her as Bhe started off, saying : "Thanks. Aa to how I am now well; how I have been I have forgotten." She felt the little thrust ; but it was easy for her woman s wit to parry it by saying with her old naivete of manner : " Well, you see the influence of yonr tasto has had its influence on me. 1 have turned artist myself." " ion did not have to turn artist; yon were always one by nature. Bhe saw clearly enough that the steel was still in this man s soul, bhe had placed it there, and she resolved to pluck it out at once. "But you never told me I was an artist." " I never knew till" " Nor did I know it myself," said she, interrupting him, " till Mr. Rnfisoll's death two years ago, when I was left almost without means or resources of any kind," . She paused ; but tho announcement of the death of the roan who had robbed Arthur Leroy of his bride drew no com ment from his Bet lips. Bhe had long ago taught him to endure surprises in silence. Then I came here to study; to learn, if I can, the dream-toil of an artist's life." " In which calling you have my best wishes for your success, and my services always at your command," he said, with i -1 umeigueu sincerity. " Your good wishes, Arthur, are grate ful to me, and I Bhall bo only too g'al to avail myself of your valuable sugges tions, if if I may only know that I am forgiven." . " You are forgiven. But I do not forgot Everything which I put into your room is there yet untouched. From that day to this hour the doors have been locked; the long curtains at the windows are drawn down, the blinds are closed, and a deep shadow rests upon all within, oo the doors, and windows, and curtains are closed about the memo ry in my heart. The shadow rested there also a long time. But to-morrow it will be lifted. The Beatrice I brought with me. I put it above my door here in Borne as an emblem of the guard which you had taught me to sot upon my heart. At last 1 have found one pair of eyes more luminous .among the shadows than are those of Beatrice or Psyche. On to-morrow the picturo above my door and the guard above my heart will be taken down and the light of the new eyes will enter in. bhe was ui doubt as to his meaning, Was ho purposely obscure? Was he talking of the old love ? bhe took it for gran tea. (Jod bless you, Arthur," Bhe Baid; I do not deserve as much as you ac cord ?" For tho old love's sake, for the grand and beautiful Alma " one s tar tod as he called her name, lie had not done so before. She laid her haud npou his arm, and said in a low, tender voice, as her eyes tilled with tears: Arthur !" Wait a moment, please, he resumed ; " for the Bake of Alma which was, her little room, which my love made for her, shall never be opened while I live. Bhe cast the shadow upon it; I shall never lift it. To-morrow I shall be married to Miss Bruce. Bhe is an artist too. The hand upon his arm trembled, and the queenly woman at his side grew deadly pale, and swayed slightly for- ward as they walked. He drew the hand more securely through his arm and add ed: " Will you pause at tho di Spagna, or Bhall I see you to your hotel i " We will go on, if you please. Thanks for vour kindness. Then, aftor a pause, sue saia: xou have been frank and just, Arthur. The tendorost are the crudest. I don't know how it is. but wo have both proved it. May God forgive us both, and bless you alwavs. Five years have rolled the dusty wneeis over that saci uav wiieu Armur anu Aima met and parted in Borne. i m W . 1 I i ll 1 1 no is with his wife m Scotland. Bhe has become famous ani rich, and is back at her old home. Often when the days are fair, a tall, queenly woman is driven slowlv through a certain street, and from her open phaeton looks up curious ly, reverently, tenderly to the windows of a house which have not been opened for ten years. Tne blinds are covered with dust. The curtains, and all the Drettv blue-and-gold furnishings are crumbling under the immovable shadow within. But the old love is only a memory cow, covered with years. The rainbow-tinted aspirations which were set within it once have given place to the solid colors of a calm, smooth life without. Potter's American Monthly, A Time for Hurry, Only a day or two ago, a pair of ner vous young people stepped hurriedly into the ollico of Justice Trulock. The young man was faultlessly dressed in a pair of brown overalls, a " boiled Bhirt, an old straw hat and broadcloth coat and huge boots that hadn't Been blacking since three days before the Christian era, and he carried a wagon whip in his hand. The young lady was a little more elaborately attired, but her toilet was also rather ill-assorted and bore indica tions of groat haste in its arrangement. As they entered the office the young woman looked out of tho window and back at the justice and out of the win -dow again. The young man slammed the door shut with a bang like a itod man gun, felt for the key and not find ing it booked np against the door, braced his feet firmly on the floor and said in a hoarse whisper : "All right, jedge, lire away I I got to be home before dark, and I ve got seventeen miles to drive, an' powerful bad roads ; hain't a minute to spare. Shoot her off!" "Well, but see here," began the jus tice, "I don't" Hang it all, squire I said the young man. Bbu tiling his feet in nervous anx iety. "Don't go for to asking ques tions: lust bang away, it's all right, I tell your go ahead, eouire I The young woman flattened her nose against the window, and transferred a large clean spot to the dingy glass and a very dirty one of corresponding Bize to the end of her nose as Bhe tried to look two blocks down the street and around the corner. Oh Bam," she whispered, wringing her hands, " tell him to hurry ! " Gaul dane it l whimpered the ex cited young man, lifting his feet in rapid alternation, as though the rioor was not, "that's what Im trying to do. Bay, squire, he added, pleadingly, "rusn along, wont ye? Bhove nor aneaa, sauire : talk it right off jest as short an' auick as the law n let ye ; give em tne srad," squire, an let em go.. ay, squire ? The amazed justice looked from one to the other of the young people in speechless wonder. " Why, certainly,' he said, " if you 11 only collect yourseu nd tell me Sauire I " exclaimed the young fel low, with solemn earnestness, "I'll tell ve everything, every blamed thing, l dwan to J nde i win, as Boon as n s over with, if ye'll only stave ahead and finish r,ho business fust. I'll tell ye tho hull thing from the very start, can t I, viry ? " And the girl turned from the window and kicked him ana piusuea at liin. "She means yes, squire," said tho young man, fairly dancing with ex itement: " Go ahead with the papers. snuire. Urivo on. squire, lana o uo- slien. sauiro. .what air ye waitiu' fur? Whv" The justice interrupted mm, ana made one more effort to ascertain what these excited clients wanted. "Well." ho said, "let us make a -itnrt. auvhow. What The voung woman stopped tying Knots in her bonnet strings, (she was making, at low calculation, about sixteen knots a minute), and looked around, and the voung fellow shouted : Them s the licks, squire i Keep her agoiu' now right at that gait, an we 11 erit through like one o ciock. uo ahead, iedere ! " " What." asked the justice, ai tne first opportunity, what is your name ?" Blank disappointment settled down over two faces like a summer cloud. Je-roo-zalum, jedge!" shouted the yonug fellow, while the young woman burst into a fit of hysterical weeping, " It s enough to drive a fellow crazy What d've want to stop au talk gossip fur when you see I'm iu sech an all-fired hurrv Whv squire J ee-roozlum I And ho jumped clear in tne miaaie oi the room as a heavy tread on the stairs terminated in a tremendous kick against the door. The next instant an elderly man, who never had a taste of anti-fat in his life, who was about three feet broad at the shoulders,'who was wheezing so terrific ally that ho couldn't speak, and carried a walking stick that looked like the fiend f death, walked into tho room a step or two and halted, gazing at justice TrnW.k. the o-irl and the vouncr man in v r r turn. a3 if undecided which of the three to immolate first, while the justice gazea upon the singular tableaux with unutter able feelings, finally tne oia man, with a terriiio snort of defianoe, mode a step toward the young man, who eluded him by dodging nimbly behind the justice's desk; then the old party cap tured tho weeping girl, tucked her arm insido his own and tramped wrathfully down the stairs and bo out of Bight. The voung man followed slowly, after peeping out of the window, with infinite caution, to Bee inai me oia man was nos lvinor in ambush at the foot of the Btairs; and as he passed out at the door he turned a mournful glance on the jus tice, and said pathetically : "See whatye've did, jedge ; dad slam the thunderin luck, see what ye've been an' done with your gol twisted prevaricashin. But I'll bet you a yoke of rod steers I'll marry that gat yit, if I've got to git up at one o'clock in the mornin' to do it. Dog gone it, jedgo" But he was down the stairs and out of hearing, and it seemed to Justice Tru lock that the office felt quiet and a little lonesome when they had all gone away. Burlington Hawkey e. One archivist of Antwerp has discov ered a bill of sale of September 1st, 1547. for twenty-two bottles of petro leum, at that early date imported into the city. A Few Odes to Autumn. The man who con look at all the won drous, vast machinery of a universe and see the seasons como and go in regular succession and not have tho poetry of his nature stirred up to its most depthy depths would bo a phenomenon. The truth is that we have more poets than the world is aware of, and were it not for that great impassable barrier, the waste basket, some new poet would burst upon an astonished and defenseless world at almost every tick of grandfather's clock. Editors are a jealous set of literary thunder-pumps, for they know very well that if all the genius in this country was allowed to get into print at will, that the great discriminating public would Boon learn how they were being defrauded in the obscurity from which they were hoisted by some mysterious mistake of the fates. That's the reason lots of poetry is not printed. For ourselves, we have none or that sort of meanness that would keep down panting genius lest it rise above and be yond us, and we are determined that as long as our good right arm does not fail us, and we are re-elected by a discnmi A. 1 A l .'l A 1 . nating publio to edit a newspaper, the season poets shall have a ohanoe by the Great Grand Master of poetry, so they shall ! The odes to autumn are coming in rapidly. There are too many of them to print in full, but we give a verse or so from each, merely for the purpose of encouraging the writers and pointing out defects. We have elected ourself poetio director, and but. we begin. Here ia the first one from " Doitus :" 1 Time when comes the falling of leaves ! Time when comes tho lowing of beeves ! Tinco when comes the mending of eaves ! Fading, ever fading autumn." It will at once be perceived that "Doitus" is a poet of no' mean order. A poet who can take falling leaves, the lowing beeves and broken eaves, and bake them into a poetical pancake, aud pour over it the syrup of flowing rhythm la pusseBBeu m Kciiiua. c unio uu harsh criticism of " Doitus." The next comes all the way from Michigan in a blue envelope with the superscription written diagonally, and sealed with flour paste. It says, " By Josie-phino.-" and the first four lines are as follows : " October glows on every cheek October shines in every eye, While up and down the hill and dale Her crimson banners are let ny." By Josephine, we have heard of peo ple with bad eyes, but imagine all Michigan with Octobers in their eyes, and crimson banners let fly up and down all the lulls and dales. Josie, turn your talent to washing dishes. We have space for only one more, bo we give " i'eari uauas a chance, Sweet Pearly steps forth and thusly warbles :. "Jennie and I, in tho summer time soft, In the gladsome month of Juuc, Played together by the brookside When tho merry singing feathered song sters wero in tune. " But times have changed since then ; Now comes the lingering fall, And Jennie's married another fellow, And we don't roam the woods at all." At some length Pearl proceeds to speak of the "dainty rod-bug," and works iu much "flowing-water" and " sweetening flowerets," but life is too short to take in all its excellencies. The rhythm, which is flexible enough to make a seven and a fourteen syllable line rhyme together, and not make man who is reading it stop to catch his breath between bases, is its strong point. Other contributions must go over till we can reach them, but we assure every anxious poet on our honor as on editor that at least part of every poem sent shall be inserted. Whenever our col umns are too crowded, we can always find room in the waste basket. Vmcin nali Breakfast Table. Words of Wisdom. Necessity never made a good bargain, Man lives only to shiver and perspire, Men's judgments sway on that side fortune leans. Many are willing to wound who are yet afraid to strike. Misery leads to despair, aggrandize ment to presumption. Give full measure, when you measure and weigh with a just balance. Expend not but according to the measure of your goods. The slanderer injures three persons at once : he of whom he speans in, him to whom he says it, and most of all himself in Baying it. Imitation is always unhappy, for all which is counterfeit displeases by the very things which charm us when they are original. Great souls are not those who havo fewer passions and more virtues than the common, but those only who have greater designs. The desire of talking about ourselves and of putting our faults iu the light we wish them to be soon, lorms a great part of our Bincerity. The same pride which makes us blame faults from which we believe ourselves free, causes us to despise the good quali ties wo have not. Happiness is in the taste, aud not in the things themselves ; we are happy in possessing what we like, not from pos sessing what others like. So scanty is our present allowance of happiness, that in many situations life could scarcely be supported if hope were not allowed to relieve tho present hour by pleasure borrowed from tho future, Bo careful how you indorse drafts especially the draught of a chimney. A BOTTOMLESS B(MJ. Thrllllna Advrnlnrf if n llorr mim In nn Illlnola MwHnip-The Urn cut """'C In the World. Some few evenings ago a St. Louis Post reporter made the aeounintnnce, nt the Lindoll hotel, of James LftfTou, who related to him a curious incident. Ho says that a few days sinco, having occa sion to make a visit to Cairo upon busi ness, he mounted a good, Btrong horse, ond started upon a journey through the bottom lands of Illinois. Nothing of conseqence happened until within about forty-two miles oi uairo ; mere, in a swamp overgrown with jungles of black berries and shrubbery common to Btich spots, he espied a flock of birds, a few of which he determined to carry into Cairo as specimens of his skill in shooting. The birds, however, were shy, and, tho anxious sportsman persevering in the ardor of the pursuit, he penetrated fur ther into the swamp. 1'resontly he came upon a Bpot very much more open than t.ha rent, no slirnnberv of anv size crew upon it, bnt a kind oi coarse grass, in terspersed with clumps of bulrushes, covered the entire surface. No sooner had the horse's feet touched the sod than he sank immediately above his fet locks. Floundering out of what the rider supposed to be only a mud hole, the animal leaped forward with consid erable force, and this time sank almost to his knees. His rider touched the beast with the whip to hurry him out of the bad place. The horse raised him self by main force from the mire and leaped forward again, apparently as anxious as his nder to get out of the bog. This time, however, he Bank al most to hiB girth, and the most power ful efforts on his part could not result in extricating his feet from the mud. The more he struggled the further he sank, and iu a few minutes ceased altogether to make any effort to release himself. but remained perfectly quiet, trembling in every joint. Mr. JLatton now began to feel considerable alarm ; he was obliged to extend his both legs out par allel with the body of the horse to keep them from sinking in the bog. His mind instantly reverted to all the tales of quagmires and quicksands that he had ever road, end he began to suspect he had struck something of the kind himself. The situation was looking gloomy ; he must do something ; bo he spoke to his-horse again, to induce him to make one more effort, but the poor beast was beyond the power of helping himself. Already a pail of his body was in the black, jelly-like masaof mud, which everywhere surrounded him, nd Mr. Laffon discovered, to his hor ror, that he wasslowiy, out surely, get ting nearer in a level with the ground He felt certain now that unless help came he must surely disappear with his horse in this lonely bog and his fate for ever remain a mystery. Determined not to give way to despair, he glanced once more anxiously around, and this time noticed no more thou two or three yards distant the branches of a tolerably large tree, which, with roots still partially iu the firm ground beyond, had fallen across the Dog. its wiae-spreaaing boughs had prevented its sinking into the mire, and he now felt that to reach that tree was the only hopo of salvation. He could not reach it from the position, and he dared not leap lest the added impetus should only Bend him deeper in to the bog, without enabling him to get hold of the branches. An idea seized him. He took the bridle from the horse and a hitching strap which he carried with him, bound them tightly together with some twine he found in his pocket, and, forming a sort or noose, threw his impromptu lasso toward a stout dead branch which projected from the fallen tree. Ins lirst trial failed, also the sec ond and third, but the fourth succeeded, ond he had only to make the attempt to draw himself to the tree, lie was now standing upon the back of his doomed horse, which had sunk several inches f urther,and with head raised was look ing with terror-Btrickeu eyes back to ward hiB master, every once in a while uttering pitiful cries. Witli a last few tender pats Mr. Laffon said farewell to his horse, and leaped fror his back as far out as possible. He sank several feet, but keeping firm hold of the line, he began to draw himself out hand over hand, and after hard struggling finally succeeded ia reaching the tree, into which he quickly drew himself, and crept carefully across its trunk to teira firma, thankful for his miraculous es cape from a horrible death. His first thought now was to go for help and try to rescue his horse. For this purpose he started off on foot for the nearest cabin. After walking several miles he encountered a couple of farmers, and quickly proouring other aid, and pro viding themselves with ropes, they ac companied Mr. Laffon back to the bog. Several hours had elapsed before he reached the treacherous spot again, and not a sign of his uufortuuate horse re mained. The poor beast disappeared in the black ooze, and only the lack of scant verdure on that particular spot marked tho place where he had met a living death. Iu describing a dinner at the sultan's palaco, Mr. Drew Gay writes: "And now comes the critical moment for you if you are present at this feast as a Btranger. You will have placed your meat on your plate, and be carefully cutting it up, when suddenly a more than ordinarily juicy morsel will be pushed into your month by a pair of very greasy fingers. Yoa must not re sent this. It is a token of loving kind ness, a sign that you are respected, es teemed, beloved. Eat it ; yort are a favored mortal." In Harvest Time. I met my love when 'neath the evening breeze The corn swayod to and fro, when 'mid the trees Tbo wind moanod soft!?, when the reaper' soni?, The echoes of the dorp gleu would prolong- In barviHt time. And brighter than the goldon beave,hcr hair Htrayod downward o'er a nock so purely fair That e'en the snow-white lily well might hide Its bending head beneath tho ntreamlot'i tide- In harveot time. The thrilling of the songsters now was Lushed, 'Noalh suDxhino bright tho rose no lungtr bluvhed ; And day was endod, far beyond the bill The reaper's song grow fainter and was still- In harvest time. Twai then my love was spoken j and 'twas then I reaped love's golden harvest in the gleu. The nightingale wailod forth her low, tweet ' strain, Singing joy's triumph in a glad refrain- In harvest time. And now the antnmn of onr lives, inntead. Approaches spring aud summer ail have tied Tbo' still of love's bright setting sun the gleam Is glorious as that which Crst lit our dream In harvest time. Items-of Interest. Springs of fresh water rise inmost seas. Oysters have a language of their own, and clams stew. Cork trees bear an edible aooru re sembling our chestnut. The man who is going down in the world is the coal miner. Dr. Carver's rifle brought him in au -income of $00,000 last year. Bod-fitting shoos make corns on. horse's feet, tho same as on people. If anything will reduce a full-grown fat man it is a well-directed bank fail ure. We have Been many a poor horse out in a driving rein and not a wet hair on his back. Milk is nutritious, but the chap who drinks a half gallon of it must feel com pletely cowed down. I declare, it beats awl," as tho shoe maker said the first time he used a sew ing machine. Home. Mntincl. Part of the edge of tho cone of Mount Vesuvius has given way, and Proi. Pal-. mieri is having a sort of retaining wall of ashes built. Balmy sleep, Tired nature's sweet restorer Don't amount to much, If yoa happen to bunk with a suorc-r. A man who was in the habit of talk ing to himself, being asked by his wife why he did so, remarked that ho liked to converse with a man of sense. "Is this air-tight?" inquired a man in a hardware store, as he examined a ttove. "No, Bir," replied the clerk; " air never getij tight." He lost a cus tomer. Of 3,434 doctors whose deaths hovo been announced iu the London Lancet during the last ten years, the ages of 2, G84 were given ; average nge at death, 56.6 years. In an account of a tour iu the north of England, by George Oolman, the young er, in 1775, occurs the following pas sage : "In the adjacent village of Kirk leatham there was at this time an indi vidual residing in a neat, comfortable cottage, who excited much interest ia the visitors at the hall. His looks were venerable and his bearing above that usual among the lowly inhabitants of n hamlet. How he had acquired this air of superiority it is difficult to Bay, f his origin must have been humble. XI eightieth summer had nearly passt away, and only two or three years pre viously he had learned to read, thai lt. might gratify a parent's pride by read ing his Bon's first voyage round the world ! He was the father of Captain Cook." Cincinnati Breakfast Table Diet. Curd is alluded to as " offal from the dairy," but it is an offal- allusion. Why should the spirit of mortal be proud ? " We can tell you : he has gof trusted for a new suit of clothes. Most women have need to whisper "lead us not into temptation" whe they see another with a new bonnet. Serpent Bkiu shoes tor ladies are tl latest Paris novelty. Thus it is tb they get even for tho way the Bnai treated Eve. The proverb " a short horso ia Boon curried," must not bo construed aa ap plying to mules. The shortest are tho" most careless with their feet. Appearances caunot always be relied on. A young man may soeiu to wear a line gold watch-chain, girls, but aft; r all it may bo plated,' and pinned iuto L vest pocket. It is said that the left foot of a lof : hauded man is always longer than L. right one, but when the old man reacht after Adolphus from the fop stop L always Bends tho right foot, and in mot cases it is long enough. "Educate tho nose," says some wjik r on physical culture. A great my' ? ar. sufficiently educated now to tunita people who are their betters. The people of Ceylon bake and e-J. bees. If wo wore goiug to indulge i this kind of provender, we should w to know that the baker understood business, for if a bee should revive h ho had beeu swallowed 1