I Sp gcpuMimn. i 'j runMmfi.n rvERY weiixfsday, rtY W It. THJNN. orwoTi m nnmunon mTcivg euildino ELM STRT.CT, TI0SK3TA, PA, TKHMH, $2.00 A YEAH. No Subscription received for n shorter kiUh1 Uiiiii lliriMj month". Correfqvmdonoo sollcifeJ from nil purls of the country. No nniico will betaken of anonymous communications. llatc3 of Advertising. One Square (I inch, )ouo Insertion - ti' HO A One Square " otic month - - 3 00 OnoSqiinro " three mouths - ti CO OnoSqiiaro " one year - - 10 00 Two Squares, one year - lr, e() QunrterCol., " - - - - :i0 M) Hair " " - DO (0 Ono " '.... loo en Lcral notict sul .established rates. M :u i i:i!;c and deal h not i. vh, gi at is. All bills for yeailv advertisements! col lected iiiaiterl y. Temporary advertise tii'Mils must be paid for in advance. Job work, Cash on Pel'mu'v. VOL.X NO. 2fJ. TIONESTA, PA., OCTOUKlt LM, 1877. $2 run ANNUM. 1 ft .1 BUSINESS DIRECTORY. TIONESTA LODGE I . O.ol'O. "If. MEETS avcrv Friday evening, nt H o'clock, in tho I lull lormerly occupied hy tho Good Templars. S. J. SETLEY, N. O. . W. CI, AUK, Scr y. iJ7-tf. TIONESTA COUNCIL, NO. 3-12. O. XT. Jl. 3VE. f EETS nt ()I1 Fellows Lodgo Uoom, IH every Tuesday evenim.', ft. 7 o'clock. P. M. CLAUK, C. . A. VAKNKIJ, H. H. 31 W. K. I.ATHY. J. 11. AONKW. LVrilV ..V, AC1NKW, -1 1' r O It N i: V S A T L A ir , TIONESTA, PA. ATTENTION SOI.I)ti:itS! I havo been admitted to practice ns an Attorney in tho Pension oillco nt Wash ington, ' 1. C. All ellieers, soldiers, or sailor who wore injurt d in tho lute war, win olitnin pensions' to wliicli they may bti ootitlod, by calling on or addressing mo nt 'lionosta, I'll. Also, claims for arrearaees of pay and bounty will roccivo prompt at tention. Having been over four yours n soldier in Uio late war, and having for n number of year engaged In tho prosecution of sol dier' ciaims, my oxporiene will nssuro tho collection of claims in tho shortest pos sible Mine. J. 15. AGN'HW. 4 nr. K. L, Davis, A TTOUNEY AT LAW, Tionosta, ra. V Collections niado in lug ooiinUi J. this and adjoin- W-ly M I 1 11 fri W . rF rr 11 , ATTORNEY AT LAW, ', . SU-:i, 7TO-Y.S TA , PA . F. W. Hays, ' ATTORN HY AT LAW, and Notary Pmil.iu, KevnohN liukill ct Oo.'s Wook, Souoca St.", Oil City, Pa. H!-ly B. bA.fl X MA K. J. 11. HUII.KY, ktxxha it & aim, 11 V, Uoreya aA Law, - - - Franltlm, Pa. IJUACTICK iii tho several (Courts or Ve ututgo, Craw fold, Korcut, and adjohi )uk oomuUih. sn-ly. Lawroncj House, rfMOXKSTA, I'KNN'A, WM. I-AW-L KV'.MCIS, PuoruinTou. TKiM Iioumo l (Mintrullv locutod. Kvorytiiiii! new and well furuiHliod Haporior imcommod.i Uout aud strict attontion i von to K(sts. Veuctabltw and Fruits of ull klmU served UiUnvir soasoii. binmplo room for (.''iin mortM;U Agents. CENTRAL. HOUSE, BOXMKP. ,t AtiNKW lJUX'IC. I,. Aukkw. Prouriotor. This is n now i.onsn nnd Iihs Inst boon tUtcd for the fuuniwioilrttion of thi public. A portion of Wio piiU-ma,j of t!io public U solh-Ucd. a-ly FoifEST HOUSE, O A. VAHN'IOH Pr.oruiKTOK. O-fmsito J. Court Houso. Tionof,t:, Pa. J ut-t vptiupd. I'lvcrrthinir new nl chiin niul fi TUn best of lhiuors kept constantly on Ud. A portion of tho public patron aura is respeiitfiill v solicited. 4-17-1 V- W. C. COBURN, M. D. llrTYSrciAN .t bUPk(KON olVcrs Ms .L mirviccH to tho people f I-'orest Co. lfaviii!' had un cxnctiieiico of Twelvo Yours in constant practice, l'r. Coburn Kuniantces to j;ivo Kalisfaclion. Dr. Co Vini m tiiakea a specialty of tho treatment at Xasiil. Tliroat. Liiii' and all oth.or iiroiiic or limrorii!'' diseases. Having luvosliatHd all sciontiiic methods of cur i;iir diseasM and selected tho yood lVom all Avsteins, he will K'larantoo rclio! or acui-i in all cases whore a euro is possible. No i:liur.'i for Consultation. All fees will bo iasnnnblo. Professional visits made nt all bourn. Tarties a. a (listanco can con- aiilt tiim bv letter. Olrtco and Kesideiu'O second biiUcllnr Veilow tho Court 1 louse. Tionesta, Pa. Of fioo dayH Wednesdays anil Saturdays. l!.r.tf A. 11. ki l.LY MA Y, VAKIL .D CO., JB -A. 1ST 11 Hj S Ourner of Kim it Walnut Sts. Tloncsta IUnk of Diseouiit nnd Deposit. Intercut allowod on TImo Doposil.s. 0Hok)iw madoonnll thoPrliiciprd points of the U. 8. Collections solicited. IS-ly. WILLIA3IW A CO., MKADVILL1-:. - - PKXN'A. TAXIDERMISTS. B IHD.S and Animals sttiffe 1 and mount dA l.i order. ArtUlcial j A'es Kept ) monk. -iy NEBRHSKAGRjST MILL T 1 1 E UUIST MILL at Nebraska Lacy- i.iwn I l.'oi-cst count v. has been tlior- up;hly overhauled aiul rebttca in H''i class order, and is now running ami doing nil kind of CUNT OKI FLOUH, FEED, AXD OATS. f ViiiMUnitly ouhand, and sold at tho very ktwest liuures. -fim II. W. LEDEIUHI. EMPLOYMENT. Male and female, salu- salary of $.!u ;i wis Ka Maiiufac.iurin; Pai liciiho s frt u. k and ex p uses. Euro- Co., Hartford. Conn. 11 1 25 Fancy Mixed Cards, luc. post-paid Address J. W. Lroikway sV Co., Wil- MllH. V. 31. 15 15 ATI J, DRESSMAKER, Tionosta, a. M1W. UKATir linn reeenUy moved to this place for the imrposi! of meotimr n want which the ladies of tho town md county havo for a lony: time known, that of havimr a dressmaker of oxperieneo unions tlir'in. 1 nin prepared to make nil kind of dresses in tho latest stvlcs. nnd ruaranlen satisfaction. Stamiilnu'l'or bruld- inir nnl embroidery done, in tho best mnn ncr, Willi thv newest patterns. All I nsk is a (air trial. Hesidenco on Elm Street. In tho Acoinh I'.uililii'.K. tf. PHOTOGRAPHER, (SUCf'KSSOIt TO pf.MINCt.) Pictures in every slvleof the art. Views of the oil rei'lous for salo or taken to or- jr. CKNTUKSTP.KKT, near II, H. crossiing. MYCAMOHK STltlCKT near Union De- p t, Oil City, l'a. iiO-tf PHOTOGRAPH GALLERY. i: I. U HTltlitT, SOUTH OF lU)P.TSOX DON NEK'S STOKE. Tionc3ta, Pa., M. CARPENTER, . - - Proprietor. rieturns taken in all tho latest styles 2U-tf tho art. SI. TSSvF.Il & CO. OIL CITY. PA. WHOLESALE & RETAIL Dealers in HABDWABE, Oil Wll HtipplioN, . O. Tiiblnff, Casltiff, Sucker Jlods, Working Itarrcln, Valves, tlV., Jiras.H U Steam Fittiuys, licit- Ing, Lace Leather, Caning, (-c, Iron, ?bruiEw, M(ool, Rope, Oakuisi, &c. Wo mako a SPECIALTY of onn-nnd-a- (inarter-inch Tuliiii' nnd Steel liods lor Small Wells. H. G. TINKER & CO., Oil City, Tn. THE LAHCEST FURNITURE ESTABLISHMENT 1 N TH 10 OI L KE tlOXS ! SMITH, JVLJ-.l.J HjkO Dealer in CABINET AND UPHOLSTERED rUEIHTURE! FHANKLIN, - - - PEXN'A. Consisting ot I'arlov, orn.-e und Common Furniture, Mai tresses, Pillows, VTindow Shades, Fixtures; Look ing (rlitsses, iv. AN i, ncrent for Vcnaivjo comity lor tho Celebrated Manhattan Spring 15ed and Combinaiion .Mnilress-s, liiauiiliict tired and for said a! my F'.irniluro Warerooms, lth stre(-t. near Liberty. Call and ssoo sample lied. '. ly You Can M;tvc Jloiscy Uv buvini vour PIANOS and OUOANS from 'tho undersigned Manufacturers' Aent, foi the best brands In the market. Instruments shipped direct from tho Fac tory. ClIAS. A. SllULT., Tuner, ly Lock box 17C, Oil City, pa Dr. J. L. Aeonb, nilYSICIAN ANI) SUlUiEON, who has I had lilleeu years' oxporlencc in a laro and Kiicce.s.shu practice, . aueiul all Professional Calls, lulice in l-.is Drug ami (irocery Store, lociitod in 'i'ldioiite, near ridiouto House. IN JUS STOKE AV1LL P.E FOUND A lull assortment if Medicine:, Liouors Tobacco, Itj.air, Statiouc-ry, tilus.-:, 1 anils, Oils. Cuilerv. all of tho best (iiiality. ami i n koIiV nt i ,.;Lsoiinltlo rates. Dli. ClIAS. O. DAY, an experienced Phvbieian and Dm-' ;ist from New York, has charge of the Store. All prescriptions put npacciiratcly. A DVEUTJSEPS send cents to fieo. P. Lowell it Co.. 41 Park ltow, N. Y, for their Ei;.;hty-pago Pamphlet, showing cost of ail verisimr. u it OFFICIAL HISTORY OF THE ftl EIITEII'L' EXHIBITION It sells faster than any oler book. I. no A 'cut sold :il conies in one dav. This is the only authentic and complclo history published. Send for our extra terms to u 'eiits. National i'uiticisuiKU Co., Phil- PROCLAMATION OF GENER AL ELECTION. Whereas, In nnd by nn net of tho flenoral Assembly of tho Commonwealth of Penn sylvania, entitled 'An Act to roulato tho Elections of tho Commonwealth,' passed tho 2d day of July, A. D., 1K0K, it Is nnulo the duty of tho Sheriff of every county within this Coinmonwenlth to fjivo public notice of tho General Elections, and in such to enumerate : 1st. Tho olliccrs to bo elected. '2d. Desif;nato tho placo at v.'Iiieh tho election Is to bo held. I, JnstiH Shawkey, Ilih Sheriff of tho county of Forest, do hereby tnnko known and pivo this public notice to tho electors of tho county of Forest, that a General Elect ion will lie held in said coun ty, on TCESDAY, NOVEMBER 6T!I, 1S77, between tho hours of 7 a. m. and 7 p. m. nt the several Election Districts. In Harnett township at Jacob Mazo's Carpenter shop. In Green township at tho houso of L. Amor. In IIowo township nt Prookston, in HrooKHion Hat!. In Jonks township at the court houso in Marion. In I larniony township at Allondor school house. In Hickory township at Hickory House. In Kinjrsley township nt Nowtown School House. In Tionesta township at Court Houso in Tionosta borough. In Tionosta borough nt Court Houso in said borough. At which time and placoa tho qualifioil electors will elect by ballot: Ono person for Supremo Judgo. Ono person for Stato Treasurer. Ono porson for Auditor General. Ono person for County Treasurer. The act of Assembly entitled "an not re lating to tho elections of this Common wealth," passed July 2, 181'J, provides us follows, viz : "That tho inspectors and judges shall meet at tho respectivo placos appointed tor holding tho election in the districtat which they respectively belong beli.ro 8 o'clock in the morning of tho 1st Tuesday of No vember, and eaeli nid inspector shall ap point ono clerk, who shall bo a qualified voter of Mich district. "In case tho porson who shall liavo re ceived tho Becond highest number of -votes for inspector shall not attend on the day of any election,' thou the person w ho shall havo receivod tho second hiffheRt number of votes for Judgo nt tho next preceding election shall act ns inspector in his place. And in caso tho person who shall havo re ceived tho highest number of votes for in spector shall not attend, tho person elected Judgo Hhall appoint an inspector In his placo, nnd in caso tho person elected Judgo shall not attend, then the inspector who received tho highest number of votes shall appoint a Judge in his placo ; and if any vacancy sliall continue in tho board for tho spatio of ono hour after tho timo fixed by law for tho opening of tho election, tho qualified voters of the township, ward or district for which such officer shall have been eleetod, present nt tho placo ol election shall elect ono of their immbor to fill such vncanov. L.olso give oilicial notico to tho electors of Forest county, that by an act entitled "An Act further supplemental to tho act relativo to the election of this Common wealth, approved Jan. 30, 174 :" Skc. 0. All tUjpclcctioiiH by tho citizens shall bo by baliOt; every ballot voted shall bo numbered in tho order in which it shall be received, nnd the number recorded by tho clerks on tho list of voters opposite the name of the elector from whom received. And any voter voting two or moro tickets tho several tickets so votetl shall each bo numbered with tho number correspond ing w ith tho number to the name of tho voter. Any elector may writohis namo upon his ticket, or pause tho saiilu to bo written thereon, and attested by, n citizen of tho district. In uddition toUmoath now proscribed by law to be taken and sub scribed by election otlicers, they shall sev erally bo "sworn or nllirmed not to disclose how any elector shall havo voted, unless required, to do so as witnesses in a judicial proceeding. All judges, inspectors, clerks ind overseers of every eloction held under this act, shall, before entering upon their duties, bo duly sworn or alllrmod in tho nrchcnco of each other, tho iiuige shall bo sworn by the minority inspector, if thero shall be such minority inspector, if not, then by a justice of the" peace or alderman, and tho inspectors and clerk shall bo sworn by tho judgo. certificates ol Hiich swear ing or allirining shall bo duly made out, ami surnod bv the oftlcors so sworn, ami ntt'.stod bv tho ollic.er who administered tho oath. If any judge or minority inspec tor refuses or fails to swear tho otlicers of election in tho manner required bv this net, or if any oilicer of eloction Fhall act without being duly sworn, or if any officer ol election shall certify that any oilicer was sworn when ho was not, it shall bo deem ed a misdemeanor, and upon conviction, i ho rt'licer or olliccrs ho ollending shall bo lined not exceeding ono thousand dollars. or imprisoned not exceeding ono year, or liolh, in uio discretion oi iut court. Notico is heroby given, That any person excepting Justices of the I'eaco who shall holtl any ollieo or appointment or proht or trust under tho I nitetl States, or this Stato or any city or corporated district, whether commissioned ollicor or otherwise; a sub ordinate oiltcer or agent who is or shall bo employod under the legislature, executive or judiciary department of this State, or of any city, or ot any incorporated dis trict, and also, that every member of Con gress anil ol tho Mate i.,egiHiature,orot tho solect or common council of any city, or commissioners of any incorportcd" dis trict, is by law incapable of holding or ex ercising lit tho time, tho olltce or ajipoint nient of Judgo, inspector or clerk of any election m this Commonwealth, und that no inspector, jutltre or other oilicer of such election shall be eligible to bo then voted for. Also, that in tho 4th section of the act of Assembly entitled "An act relating to ehictions and for other purposes," approv ed April 10th, 1S.VJ, it is onuuicd llKu tho 13th bcction shall not bo so construed as to prevent any militia or liorotigli oilicer fiom serving as Judge, Inspector or Clerk at any general or special eloction in this Commonwealth. A further supplement to tho election laws of this Commonwealth : Whereas, by an act of tho Congress of tho 1'nited States, entitled "An act to amend tho several acts heretofore passed to provide for the en roll ing and calling out ol tlio national lorccs, mill tor other pur noses." and approved March '.d, J -.", All persons who havo deserted tho military or n-ivul sorvitvs of tho United States, and from tho penalty or disability therein pro vided, aro doomed nnd taken t o havo vol untarily relinquished anil forfeited their right to become citizens, and aro dnprived of exercising tho rights of citizenship hereof: Ami whereas, persons not citizon of tho TInited Suites, aro -net under tho constitu tion and laws of Pennsylvania qualified electors of this Common wealth Sko. 1. Do it enacted by tin1 Senate and House of Peprosontati yes of this Common wealth of Pennsylvania in General Assem bly met, nnd it is hereby ensictod by tho nine and In nil elections hereafter to bo holtl in this Commonwealth ; it shall bo unlawful for tho Judges or Inspectors of nnv Ruoh election to roceivo any ballot or ballots from any persons embraced in the provisions, and' subject to tho disabilities imposed bv said act of Congress, approved March Sd,lSl5.". And it shall bo unlawful for any such person to oiler ti) vote any uncli ballot or ballots. Hr.(, 2. That il any such jndgoor Inspec tors of election or any of them shall ro ceivo r consent to recoivo any such un lawful ballot or ballots from aiiy such dis qualified person, ho or they so oil'ending shall be guilty of misdemeanor, nnd upon conviction thereof in an Court of Quarter Sessions of this Commonwealth, ho shall for each offence bo sentenced to pay a fipo ot not lefts than one hundredjlolla'rs. and to undergo imprisonment in tho jail of tho proper county for not less than sixty days. Hkc. 3. That if anj person deprived of citizenship, nnd disqualified as aforesaid shall nt any election hereafter to bo hold in this Commonwealth voto or tender to tho officers thereof, and offer to voto a bal lot nr ballots, any porson so offending shall bo guilty of a misdemeanor, nnd on conviction thereof in any Court of Quar ter Sessions of this Commonwealth, shall for each ofllenco bo punished in a like manner a provided in tho preceding sec tion of this act, in tiio caso of officers of elections receiving such unlawful ballot or ballots. Sk.c. 4. That if nny person sliall hereafter persuade or adviso'any person or persons deprived of citizenship and disqualified as aforesaid, to oiler any ballot or ballots to the officers of any election hereafter to bo held in this Commonwealth, or shall per suade or advise nny cuch oilicer to receive nny ballot or baliots from nny person de prived of citizenship and disqualified as aforesaid, such persons so ollending shall bo guilty of a misdemeanor, and upon con viction thereof in any Court of Quarter Sessions of this Commonwoalth, shall bo punished in liko manner as provided in tho second section of this act, in tho case of olilcers of such election receiving suich un lawful ballot or ballots. I also give official notico of tho following, provisions of an act npproved tho 30th of March, lStlfi, entitled "An act regulating the mode of voting at all tho elections of this Commonwealth." Sec. 1. Do it enacted by the Sonoto and ITouso of Kepresentativoaof the Common wealth of Pennsylvania in General Assem bly met, and it is hereby enacted by tho authority of tho samo, "That the qualified voters of tho several counties of this Com monwealth, at nil general, township, bor ough and special cloctions nro hereby hereafter authorized mid required to voto by tickets printed or written, or partly printod and parly written, severally clas sified as follows; Oneticko'.shallombraco tho names ot all judges of courts voted for, and shall bo labeled "Judiciary," ono ticket sha'l cmbraco tho names of nil tho Stato otlicers voted for nnd bo labeled "Stato."onc tickotshall embrace the names of all tho county olliccrs voted for, includ ing oflioo of Senator r.ial member of As sembly, if voted for, nnd member of Con gress, if voted for, and bo labeled' "Coun ty," ono ticket shall embrace tho names of all the township otlicers voted for. nnd bo labeled "Township," oil" ticket stiail cm braco tho names of all the borough ojHccrs voted for, ami bo labeled "Uorough," ami each class shall bo deposited in separate ballot boxes. Tho Judges of tho aforesaid districts shall representatively tako charge of tho cortilicates of return of tho election of their respective districts, nml produce them nt tho Prothofiotary's oliieo in tho Dorough of Tionenta, as follows : "All judiies liv-iiV-5 within twelve miles of tho prothono tary's orlice, or within twenty-four miles it their residence bo in a town, village or city upon the line of a railroad leading to tho county sear, snail, hetoroiwo o ciock, p.m.. on WEDNESDVY, NOVEMIiEIl SEVENTH, 1S77. anil all other judges shall lxforo twelvoo'clock, m.,on Tllb'USDAY S'OVEMIIEII EIGHTH, lS77.deliver said returns, together with tho return sheds, to tho prothouotary of tho court of common pleas of Forest county, which said return sheets shall bo filed, and tho day and hour of filing marked thereon, and shall be pre served by tho prothouotary for public in spection." Given under mv hand nt fnv oflico in Tionesta, this 1th day of October, in the year of our Lord one thousand eight hundred and seventy-seven, and in tho ono hundred and second year of Uio In tlependenco of tho United States. 264t JUST1S SHAWK EY, Sheriff. THE WELLS TEA COMPANY Importer of Pure China and Japan Teas, 201 FULTON ST., P. O. Box 45C0. NEW YORK. THE WELLS TEA C'MPANY Supply Teas to Storekeepers, in origitsil packages, at lowest Import prices, as per bumiile sent on amilicuiiou. Supply Teas to Druggists, f ionoral Deal ers, aud others, packed in haudsomo sealed niicku&cs of ono liound each, in canisters ol Uio saino capacity, and in 5 lb., 10 lb. and 0 lb. boxes. Full particulars on ap plication. huoplv Teas to Peddlers in half pound anil one pound bags, 'lain or printed, at a more liberal discount than is given iiso where. Supply Tea for Club Orders, and allow a larger commission than usual, and in all canon guarantee tho quality of their good. Forms sunt when reouired. Send for circular, and pleaso say under which of tho foregoing la-ads you desiro particulars, so that wo may send you all tho in formation necessary without further trouble. Tho WvlU Tt ta Company Is ono of tho largest and most reliable houses in tho trade ; all parties reqiiirin Tea in quantities will d well to send tlu.-i orders direct. 21 -'m lj TAM.MEK1NG INSTITUTE. Doctor O White H7 Itli Ave., N. Y, No pay un Tall Farming in California. We Etoppctl at "Knight's Landing," ami called on Mr. Ilectl. Wc wero tolJ that ho was buny in tho field. Thero wo found him, in i two-thousand aero lot, superintending his force of thirty njen, his stenni engine, his head ers, wagons, mules, thresher and sepa rator, all of which were working har moniously, together, gathering in the crop ; and this was a small outfit com pared with that of Mr. lggs, at Prince ton, with whom wo passed two days, cntortaitiod most agrouuhly by hu fam ily, in a princely farmer's mansion. Wo accompanied him to his six-thousand-acre field, nnd there saw the machinery niultipli m', as 100 acre's each day were harvested, and the stream of wheat rolled into its bags at tho r.ito of twelve bushels per mi mile. Not contented with this lilllo farming, Mr. Boggs gives his tittcntioii to rais ing some of the finest horses in the State. About 20 of them wo .saw groomed in tho f laMes, and there were droves of nioro common horses ami mules frolicking tho thousand-acre lawn. Mr. Boggs owus 100,000 acres in California, and 50,000 in Oregon. Most of it ii pasturage, for ho raises not nioro that 150,000 bushels of wheat. Ho has a few thousaud cattle, he could not recollect the exact number, nor could he tell if his sheep would count more than 40,000, but he knew they wero not below that figuro. They aro Bhcared twice in tho year, averag ing eight pounds of wool each, and netting, clear of all expenses, some thing moro than ono dollar a head. Were they not thinned out for tho market they would double themselves overy two years, aud 20,000 being an nually sold at ono dollar a head, there is a total income of $00,000. Here is model California farmer a Slate Senator, honored by his fellow-citizens with tho Directorship ot various pub c institutions who catno into bacre- niento thirty -years ago a barefooted boy, and who modestly says that he las grown rich because ho could not help it. We have sojourned with no bility in their castles, and have been accustomed to tho etiquette of the flimsv servility which calls for tho ad dress of "My lord," and "Your lord ship ;" but "John Boggs hullo, John!" is t'io stylo our friend reccivos at Princeton, where he is lord of manors compared to which an English park is but a potato patch. lied Leaf) (Cat. J Letter. At Par. The other day old Mr. Middlerib stopped at. a grocery and bought some onions, giving tho grocer a $2 bill. Among tho chango handed back to tho customer an old 81 bill. It had been landed iu that morning for keroscno oil, and thero was just a dash of oil on it, that had been spilled in tho morn ing. Ihen tho tn'ocer hud laid it down ou a pile of codfish while ho fixed the tho stopper ni the oil-can. Ihen lie had it on his fingers while he cut off a couple of pieces of cheese, aud the cheeso on the bill struggled with the cod libit and kerosene for pro-cininenco. Then it got a little touch of mackerel, and a little tiucturo of ttale egg on it, and at last the grocer stuffed it into hs pocket along with a plug of tobac co, and finally, when Mr. Middlerib grit it with his onions, ho held it to his noso ontjo or twice, smiled it with an investigating air, and at last walked out of tho store with a cheerful coun tenance, saying, "By George, we're all right now. Good times are hero again, nnd tho Government W paying 100 cents on the dollar. Ifnucye. kx Two boys, surrounded by livoor six others, sat ou tho grass on Lodyard alrcc yesterday and played curd s. A citizen, who knows that card-playing leads into the broad road ot wicked ness, halted and said to one of the players : "Ah ! my boy, don t you know that you aro la a tair way to bo ruined f "1 am, eh r replied the youngster as he held up his hand of cards and showed four trumps-and an aco : "you just hold on here a minute, and if I don t show you that tho other boy is all wrenched to pieces, and ruined to death 1 li cat tho jack ot spades aud cut my throat with tho jack of clubs!" He was taking evcrv "trick" us tho citizen passed on. Free Vrcsa. Tho other day, a mean man out in Western Iowa wont off into a quiet country-place and died so quick that his wife got his insurance money before tho company had timo to fail. Tho President etiys ho never felt so 8 win died and cut up since he has been in the business. Amateur sportsman returns in tri umph frcm a day's shooting with a splendid hate, and says to his wife: "There, you faid I couldu'tshoot. You didn't expect to see mo bring this homo?" "Yes, I did ; the servant next door tuw you buying it round tho cor-her. An Attempted Suicide, From San I; ra in. i.-eo comes a wholly suigetieris unmatched, so far as wo know, in the history of suicides. A forlorn wife, burdened with domestic' cares and disgusted with life, deter mined to depart for a better world and took lor that purpose a bottle of corrosive sublimate from tho closet where tho family drugs wero kept. Composing herself carefully on the bed, sho d mi ned nt ono gulp a huge goblet full, dropped the glass on the lloor, nnd folded her hands on her breast, awaiting death. Sho had anticipated lliT most excruciating pain as tho lei riliiy corrosive substance should act upon her inwards, and marveled to find, instead, n aensalimi of delicious bliss stealing over her l;olo system. Her spirit was wonderfully exalted, her vision roso and roamed at will through all the gladsome- mommies of her happy past. . It seemed to her as if the veil of the future life was rent; and that her spirit alicady fioalid in Paradise. "I had not dreamed," said she, speaking with difficulty, for h;r voioo was failing fast and her utterance clogged, "I had not dreamed that death was sho eashy. Oh Death I whoreish thy sting? Oh gravel where ish victory?" At this juncturo her husband suddenly entered and ex claimed, "What in tarnation are you doing, Molly? What is your face so red about?" "Goo by, Richard. Gobi' die. Mos'n Heaven 'ready. Takou croshive sub rate. Forgive you everything." "Corrosive !" exclaimed tho unfeeling spouse, "why, that's ten dol lar brandy. I stuck that label on causo I knew you'd drink it if I didn't." lift's drop a veil over tho touching eeiio. The wife has concluded to live, but still insists that sho was in Para diso. .James T. Field.says that an admirer of Shtikspero desoovcred among his triciuls a liosLoman who had never road the plays of the immortal Wil limn, and advised him todo soatonce. Several month? later tho giver of the advico again met his friend, asked him it ho had rcud any oi tho plays, and what be thought ot them, l cs, ho had read them all ; and ho added with ef fusion : "They aro gloriotu, sir far beyond my expectations I Why, sir, there aro not fifty men in Boston who could havo written them !" It is quite fashionable in Kentucky ami Tenucsseo for parties intending to commit matrimony to bo married on horseback, tho advantage ot tho sys tem being that, whilo tho clergyman has his eyes shut pronouncing tho nup tial benediction, tho newly married couple can put spurs to their horsc3 ami gallop away without tho formality of paying tho foe. Wide-awake preach ers, however, take their trusty shot gun with them, ami cover tho groom ami his cara sposa at tho critical mo ment, till the cash is furthcoming. Walking along tho Strand the other day, an English oilicer saw a man in tatters approaching him, carrying a tray, on which were sytno Email pic.J, marked ono penny each. As ho got near him he recognized in him a broth er officer, who had served in the same regiment some years previously. Ho accosted tho poor fellow, and was sym pathizing with him on his sad plight und altered circumstances, when tlm other cxclaiiuod, "Hang your pity! Buy a pie !" An insurance- adjuster went to see ;i man whoso houso had been destroyed by lire. Said the atljiioter : "How did this thing happen ?'' 1 louse-owner--"Don't know ; it's a mystery." Ad juster "Well, I know." House-owner "Let's have it; that's ju;t what I'd like to find out." Adjuster "It's fric tion." Houii-j-ownor "Friction? fric tion? What's that ?'.' Adjuster "Why friction is the result of nibbing a thousand-dollar policy on a bix-huudred-dollar houso 1" "Will tho boy who throw that pep per on tho Btove please come up hero and get tho present of a nico book ?" saitl tho school teatlmr ; but tho boy never moved. Ho was a far-seeing boy. "My dear boy," said a mother to her son, ns ho handed round his plato for moro turkey, "this is tho fourth timo you've been helped." "I know, moth er," replied tho boy, "but that turkey peeked at mo once, and 1 want to get square with him." lie got his turkey. An insuranee agont was hung ni Chicago the other day, and, after the execution, tho ropo was lound to bo covered with brass rust. Clara Iiuiso Kellogg says it takes her fully a year to learn au opera, but then sho gives herself de.ul aw;' by saying she knows and can sing ' operas. They havti begun to say i' be a hard v. " ' ' JSiiiiaia Co.. .N. Y. 11- adLlphla, Pa. iM-4 who havo been t'.iscbui'ucd or n-lk-vi'tl liliuicu. bend lor cireuur. '.i I