She forest gJcpuWim
13 rUCMSHKD EVKUY WISDNESDAY, BY
W. 1?.. DUNN,
err ice rt Rorasow &, bonner's build n?o
ELM BTRECTS, TIOSEBTA. PA.
TERMS, 2.oo A YE A IX.
Wo Subscriptions rcrelvod for a shorter
porlod than throe months.
Corrcspondoneo Holidtcd from all part
of thft country. No notice will bo taken of
enonymoua common U-Atlonn.
BUSINESS DIRECTORY.
TIONESTA LODGE
No. 3d!),
O. of O. W.
MEETS every Friday evening, lit 8
o'clock, in the Hail lormorly occupied
by W8 Good ToniplurH.
H. J. SETLEY, N. O.
I). V. CLaRK, Soe'y. 27-tf.
TIONESTA COUNCIL, NO. 342.
O. XT. .A.. WhAl.
M1
EETS (it Odd Fellows' J.odgo Room,
overy Tuesday evening, at i n clock.
1. M. CLARK. C.
8. A. VARNER, It. 8. 31
W. H. I.AT1IY. J. B. J.ONKW.
LATHY -Ss A-OINIirW,
A T TO 11X11 YS AT LAW,
TIONESTA, TA.
ATTENTION KOI.DIFUH!
I bare been admitted to practice as an
Attorney in the Pension Onleo at Wash
iriltlun, ' 1. C. All olllecrs, soldiers, or
sailors who were Injured in tho late war,
nan obtain pensions' to which they may bn
(wi titled, bv culling on or addressing mo at
7 ionosta, l'a. Also, claims for arrearages
of pay and bounty will rocoivo prompt at
tention. Having been over four years a soldier In
tfce Uto war, and having for a number of
year engaged in t!io prosecution of sol
tlicrM' claims, niy experience will assure
th oolloction of claims in the shortest pos
kihle Uuie. J. R. AO NEW.
K. L. Davis,
ATTORNEY AT LAW, Tionesta, Pa.
Collections maclo in this and adjoin
ing eouutim. 40-ly
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
' tH 3rtet, TIONESTA , VI .
F.W. Hays,
ATTORNEY AT LAW, an Notaut
- Pvm.io, Reynolds Ilukill & Co.'h
Mock , Soneea St.', il City, Fa. 8:)-ly
V. KINPKAIl. y. n. (.MILKY.
KIXXRAll SMILEY,
Horneya a Law, -. - - Franklin, Pa.
X PRACTICE in the several Courts oT Vc
Mivny;o, Crawford, Forest, atid adjoin
ing counties. 3!-ly.
Latvrenci Housa,
fpiONF.HTA, PENNW, WM. LAW
L REXCE, ProrniKToii. This hotisi
is centrally located. Everything new and
veil furnished Superior necommoda
lou and strict attention given to guests.
Yegonhles and Fruits of all kind fccrvod
LntLoir o:ison. Samp.o room for Com
Kieraiai Age-nts.
CENTRAL HOUSE,
BONNER iV A ANEW RLOCIC. L.
Amnkw, Proprietor. This i a new
Mouse, and haw jut been fitted up for the
nocoMimodatiou of tho public. A portion
. . . . . . m a l II'- I if .:... .1
4 r me patronage oi puuiiu is nuncuou.
M-ly
FOREST HOUSE,
SA. VARNER Proi'Iiivtor. Opposito
Court House, TioneKta. l'a. Just
opeiirtd. Everything new and clean and
fresh. The bent of liquors kept constantly
n hand. A portion of the public patron
uyt ii respoet fully Holicitcd. 4-17-1 V
W. C COBURN, M. D.,
pnVSICfAX A SURUEON oilers hiH
.L h.t vices to the people of Forest Co.
Itaving had an oxperienco of Twelve
Yeaix in constant practico, I)r. (-'oburn
f
uutanlcuH u gtva Mtisiaction. ir. id
urn iriukes a soeoinltv of the treatment
f Nasal, Throat, Lung rtrt all othor
Ohronie or lingering disoil. Having
invMsligated all scientific, metliods of cur
ing disease and neWted tlio good from nil
nvsloniii, he will guarantee relief or a euro
In all canes where a Miro is possible. No
,'hurge for Consultation. All fees will bo
r'asonablo. Professional visits made at
all hours. Parties n' a distunco can con
xiilt him by letter.
(ttllce and Residence necond huilding
bfJow the Court House, Tionosta, Pa. f
He daya Wednesdays and Saturdays. 25tf
M. 91. MAT.
jo. r. paril.
a. a. KILLT.
MA Y, VAliK Jb CO.,
Comer of Elm it Walnut SUi.Tionmta.
Dank of Discount and Deposit.
Interoat allowed on Time Deposits.
Collections made on all the Principal points
of tho U.S.
Collection solicited. 18-ly.
VUIV3tfci Ai, CO.,
MEADV1LLE, - - TENN'A.,
TAXIDERMISTS.
YJIKDS and Aninwls at lifted and mount
j odtOor4cr. Aitiiicil Kyoa kept in
toek. i'y
"TebasxTgrist miLL.
fpilfi GRIST MILL at Nebraska (Lacy
X town,) Forest county, hau boon thor
oughly overhauled and refitted in lir.st
lass order, and i now running and doing
fi!l kinds of
i) U ii T O 3J It I X I) I X .
FLOUR,
FEED, AND OATS.
Conti!iitly onhand, and sold at the very
lowest tii;liriis.
-i;m H. W. LEDKHUR.
"TMPLOYMENT, Male and h niHle.fcala
lj i v i.r coiiiuiission. Wo pay agent us
u!:irv of '.0 a week nndcxp uses. Euro
Ja .Vlauuliictiiring Co., Hartford. Conn.
Particulars tree. 114-
f (H V()UK neatly r.M'.ciitid at tho RE-
1 L ' III. 1 CAN o
&
VOL.X NO. 25.
HUH. . 91. II1L1TII,
DRESSMAKEH, Tionesta, Pa.
MRS. HEATH has recently moved to
this place lor tho purposo of meeting
a want wtilcli tho ladies of the town and
county have for a long timo known, that
of having a dressmaker of experience
amnnilhem, lam prepared to make all
kinds of dresses in the latest stylos, and
guarantee satisfaction. Stamping'for braid
ing and embroidery done in tho best man
ner, with tho newest patterns. All I ask
is a tair trial. Residence on Elm Street,
in tho A comb Building. tf.
Frank ItobbiiiN,
PHOTOGRAPHER,
(SUCOKSHOR TO PKMIXO.)
Pictures In every styloof the art. Views
of the oil regions for bule or taken to or
der. CENTRE STREET, near R, R. crossing.
SYCAMORE STREET near Union Do
pat, Oil City, Pa. 20-tf
PHOTOGRAPH GALLERY.
EIiM H T It K E T i
SOUTH OP ROBINSON A IJONNER'S
STORE.
Tionest, Pa.,
M. CARPENTER, . - - Proprietor.
n
mwmM
Pictures taken in all the latest styles
the art. 2(I-t'
h77;7tikkr & col
OIL CITY, PA.
WHOLESALE & HETAIL
Dealers in
OH Woll Suppliers, . e.
Tubhif, Casing, Sucker Hods,
Working Uarrels, Valves, iCc,
lira fia ft Steam Fittings Jielt
ing, Lore Leather, Casing, dc.,
Iron, 3Ta!Is, Slcclf ISopc,
Oakum, &c.
We make a SPECIALTY of one-and-a-iiuartor-inidi
Tubing and Steel Rods for
bmxll Wells.
II. G. TINKER & CO.,
Oil City, Pa.
THE LARGEST
FURNITURE ESTABLI SH RI ENT
IN THE OIL REGIONS I
MILES SMITH,
Dealer in
CABINET AND UPHOLSTERED
FURNITURE!
FRANKLIN, ... PENN'A.
Consisting of
Parlor. Ofllce and Common Furniture,
Mattresses, Pillows, Window
(Shades, Fixtures, Look
ing Glasses, &o,
Also, agent for Venango county lor tho
Celebrated Manhattan Spring Red and
Combination Mattresses, manufactured
and for sale at my Furnituro Warerooms,
131 li Htreet. near Liborty. Call and see
sample Red. W ly
You Can fSavc Money
By buying your PIANOS and ORGANS
from tho undersigned Manufacturers'
Agent, foi the bent brands in the market.
Instruments shipped direct from the Fac
tory. CHAS. A. S1IULTZ, Tuner,
ly Lock box 1740. Oil City, Pa
Dr. J. L. Aconb,
PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON, who has
had fifteen years' experience in a largo
and successful practice, will attend all
Professional Culls. Ollice in his Drug and
Grocery Store, located iu Tidioute, near
't'idiouto Homo,
IN HW STORE WILL BE FOUND
A full assortment of Medicine, Liquors
Tobacco, Cigars, Stationery, Glass, Paints,
Oils, Cutlery, all of the best quality, and
will be sold at reasonable rates.
DR. CHAS, O. DAY, an experienced
Physician and Drug ast from New York,
has charge otthe Store. All prescriptions
put up accurately.
ADVERTISERS send 2.5 cents to Geo.
P. Rowell it Co., 41 Park Row, N. Y.,
for their Eighty-pago Pamphlet, showing
cost ol ailvcrising. , IS 4t
VOFFICIAL HISTORY OF THER
lEHTEFll EXHIBITION
It sells faster than any otor book. Cue
Agent sold :1 copies in one day. This is
the only authentic and complete history
published. .Send for our extra tonus to
avtcnts. NArin.SALl'UbEJsai.vtiCo., I'hil
adi le.'ii.n, JM, os-4
TIONESTA, PA.,
Madame Fat in the sunny window,
eewing. The needle twinkled in her
rapid fingers, and the Hcnrlct stuff plie
stitched, glittering in the sunlight, shed
a reflected lustre on her black hair,
her ti nil ess face, the bits of coral in her
well-Eet ears.
A-high window this, into which the
sunlight streaming illumines the sitter
very high the topmost in the ram
bling, jambling, wheezing old tene
ment. Madame prefers to he cn the top
story, 8he says. One is there away
from the dust and noise of the street.
Also, it costs less. Also, she will tell
you gayly, she ran see the tops of the
sails, and the sunlit masts of the ships
that come and go at tho wharves to
ward which this dingy 6treet looks
down. Tho ships bring wealth and
plenty to somebody. Some of them
come from France 1 Ah, beautiful
France I It is like being a poet, or
hiving a flue imagination, to own u
window oue can see the world out of.
Should any one pity Madame, or of
ficiously offer her sympathy, she will
shrug her shoulders Magnificently,
spread out her bauds and say, "Whut
will you ?" glancing toward her win
dow as though the world was at her
feet. lias she Dot her sunshine, her
sewing, and her little Fifine, who flits
up and down the ladder-like stairs like
a butterfly? Fifine has black eyes
and a dancing smile. Fifine is Mad
ame's poem, her princess ; she does not
know poverty. They had been poor
in Paris, but Fifine had never gone
lUDgry ; they had wanted mauy things
in Paris, but Fifine had always her
gay frilled dresses and her tiny polish
ed slippers. Was not her father a pro
fessor ? was not her tno.'dier n lady ?
Should they, then, associate on equal
terms with thai degraded and degrad
ing thing called poverty ? Nay, indeed!
it might own the house, but it should
uot sit at the board.
It was poverty that had driven thif
family, thoughtlessly thoughtful, to
America. Professor Pierre would
come here and teach the people French.
It was a wide country, a rooiuy coun
try, and the people needed education.
Prefessor Pierre set sail, and died on
the passage.
"Ah, but he was a scholar 1" eays
Madame, sighing. "If he have live
(Madame's English is not quite so per
fect as her French,) wo shall by thia
this time have the little maison chain
petre, the pretty place iu the country,
and the little school, and the gar-Jeu
which we have talk of and dream of so
much in Paris. For there is of room
in Ameiica ah, so much of room !"
"So says Madame, looking down on
the cioded, dingy street and tho
swarming tenements.
She looks up, smiling, from her
work, as u light footstep comes flying
along the ladder-like stair.
"So come the angels !" said Madame
devoutly, as Fifine dances in. She has
her tiny apron full of red apples.which
tumble out aud roll upon the floor.
The sunlight, gleaming on . Madame's
scarlet sewing, seams to rccognizo the
ripe, round fruit, and glows auew as
having met it elsewhere in sweet famil
iar orchards and ou sunny slopes of
far-away hills.
"All for you, mamma, ho will give
me a ride in the great wagon cut to
the beautiful country und the little old
mother 1"
Madame's cheeks flush, her eyes
scintillate with an augrv light.
"What is it you say, "Fifine ? And
who gave vou these?"
But the child only auswered breath-
tessiy ana coniuseaiy. ihe apples
were delicious, and Fifine was happy,
but Madamo did not like strangers nor
strangers' gifts. She sat anxiously at
the high window next day, looking
down fur Fifine as she came from
school.
Tho street was long and winding,
grimy and decaying; but people
swarmed in it as if lite was not unde
sirable. They throve iu the sceuts and
stifling air; they laughed, they chat
ted, they congregated iu the tumble
down doorways; and looking their
poverty square in the face, shook hands
with it, as it were.
But the street had its pleasures, too,
ouce in a while, aud its pictures. As
at this iostaut, when Madame, looking
down from the high window, saw a
wagon-load of apples come jolting
along, ruddy, sbiniug and mellow. A
boy iu'tt brimless hat aud a blue shirt
sat in the miil.t ot the heap, aud a tall
sunburned young fellow, with trousers
ticked in his boots, walked alongside,
hand iu hand with a child, who danced
about hiru, with her golden hair flying
and her pretty eyes twinkling, as she
pointed up, laughing, to tho far wiu
dow where Madamo sat.
In one sudden moment she saw the
little one caught up, deposited iu u
half-lull basket,- and both, lifted on
the young man s shoulder, disappeared
in the housu.
Up staiii they came, tramping,
SEPTEMBER 2G, 1877.
laughing, and Fifine, eager, joyful
and breathless, was deposited at the
door.
"Oh, mamad 1" she cried, clapping
her hands, "see what we have brought
you 1 And here i9 Monsieur Jack."
Outside, abashed, blushing, stood
the young man with the basket. Mad
ame appearing on the threshold put
him to utter confusion. She had the
bearing of a duchess.
"What will you?" queried she,
haughtily.
"Ercuso me, ma'am," was tho stam
mering reply, as the intruder doffed
his great straw hat, "I mf an I did not
nrean that is, I promised the little
one a ride."
"And?" said Madame, sternly.
"And," answered the youth, gather
ing up courage, his honest, kindly eyes
looking straight into hers, "she needs
a little bit of change ; a ride would
not harm her, madam."
"It is a liberty unpardonable. In
my country it is not known that a ven
dor a strept vendor will intrude
himself on a lady's apartment. People
know their place, ind " "
"I beg your pardon, madam. You
are right," interrupted the stranger,
his cheeks flushing hotly. "But this
is Americn, not Paris. Good-day."
He was gone. The place was blank
and desolate. Th apples lay on the
floor. The sunlight had faded from
the window. Fifine set up a frightful
cry of disappointnent. Ah! no ride
no pleasure, no delights iu prospect
now.
She did not go dancing off to school
next day, singing as he went.
iilie
came oacK witn a headache, carrying
it gloomily up to the top floor aod tho
waiting mother.
Two days, three, passed. Fifine was
re.illy ill. She chatted incessantly of
the rido and the beautiful country.
She cried to see Monsieur Jack, as she
had named her friend.
One day Madame slipped down
6tair3 to buy some apples, ft was the
clay for Monsieur's appenrance. The
youth bowed when he caught sight of
this princess from the top floor. Should
he carry the tipples up stairs for her?
Little Fifine, sitting flushed and fe
verish among a heap of pillows, lit up
radiautiy tit sight of the sunburned
face and the great straw hat.
"Ah ! mainan," she cried, clapping
her hands, "now wo shall go in the
country !'.'
But Fifine was ill. Not for n day
nor a week, but for a long, weary month
the little creature pined and sickened
iu tho upper story of the tenement
house. And it fell out that nearly ev
ery day toe young man's step sounded
on the stairs, and Monsieur Jack's face
becp.me familiar to nil the neighbors
as he made his way to the topmost
floor.
He petted Fifine, le chatted to her,
and charmed Madamo by stepping
softly in spite of his big boots. Fifine
watched hungrily for his coming, and
thus it was, doubtless, that Madame
also found herself sometimes listening
for his footstep on the stair.
Oae sunny afternoon she stood
smoothing her glossy hair before the
cracked looking-glass. The day was a
hopeful one. The air was clear, the
sun shone, Fifine was better. Madame's
eyes heightened as she stood at
Ihe glass. She adjusted the knot of
ribbon, she touched up the white ruffle
about her shapely throat. Without,
there was a creaking of the rickety
stairs. The eyes 6hono brighter in the
dim little mirror. Madame stopped in
her toilet suddenly, seeing their ex
pectant glitter.
"(Iflll it he tifissihln ?" uho ani.l in
rlierself. "Have I come to this to sew
ing iu a garret, to starving, to begging,
almost, for Fifine, and to looking for
ward every day to the visit of a yi ung
man who is an apple-veudor ? Is it
that I must at heart belong to tho
canaille f Paul Professor Paul, was
I ever worthy of thee?"
But wh?n she opened the door, and
Motisieur Jack stood modc&tly on the
threshold, Madame's eyes did not lose
their sparkle. Ho brought a bunch of
piuka for Fifine.
"Ah !" cried Ftfine clapping her
hands, "they came from tho country,
7ia chere maman! When shall wego:
ota, when shall wo gn, jifamun ?"
The mother looked at her tenderly,
pitifully. The child had growu so thin
with long illness.
"My little one," she said, "I wish I
was back with thee in my beautiful
Paris, where we should have music and
flowers and parks, and "
"You can havo them all lure," in
terrupted Monsieur Jack, quietly.
There were tears in Madame's eyes,
but she turned upon him hotly.
"What will you ?"' she said. "Shall
I lake bhuiue to myself that I am poor?
I was poor in Paris, but I named it
not so. Iu my own country 1 have a
pleasant, gentle life. My Paul is very
wise, very quiet. Ho will not have
touch himself w ith w hat is rude ami
rough. The neighbors say ho will
never b rich. ' hey
and
Jan;
$2 PEK ANNUM.
'he was not the inventor of gunpowder.'
But we also laugh and are happy. I
nave my pot oi nowers ; i nave my
feto days. It costs but a few sous to
be happy. Ah 1 why did we ever come
awav, my petite, to be reminded that
wo are beggars !"
Madame caught up her white hand
kerchief and wiped her eyes. There
was an awkward pause. Motisieur Jack
played with Fifino's long locks, look
ing down silent and reproved.
lifine, not knowing what was the
matter, began to cry.
"Ah ! yes," said Madame, excitedly
6eeing the child's lears. "We can have
nil these things here, my lwfinp, vet
t'lou hast nothing. Iu Paris we need
not be told that we are poor. If we
know that the last sou is being spent,
we will buy some charcoal, shut our
selves in the pleasant little room with
the flowers and the sunlight, aud die
decently, making no trouble; but in
America it is not so. Here it is rude
and outre. People will meddle. You
cannot manage your small scrupling
of lifo for yourself. You must starve
and beg and steal, if need be, but you
must live. It is, therefore, no fault of
mine, Monsieur, that my little Fifino
is ill and pining. I cannot advertise
that I must have her helped ; and I
am poor I 1 am poor I 1 am poor !
It seemed to be a relief to Madame's
mind that this well kept secret was out
at Jast.
"Marbimp " sn!1 llm viiilnr tiilnrr
"I also ara poor."
"Excuse me, I pray you," said Mad
ame, her face paling suddenly ; "I
have talked much ; it is weak. I ask
your pardon."
"When shall wc go when shall we
go in the country ?" asked Fifine, see
ing a pause.
icn.-.. . a .' v,,i
inuii t-uiiav not. go aione, mtie
one," replied tho mother, smiiiug, and
rallying her spirit.
'She nsed not go alone, Madarae,"
suggested Monsieur Jack, patting the
child on the head "not if you will go
with her."
Ah 1 what can poor people do ? Was
not Madame the wife of a professor,
and was not her pride very great
therefore ? Could she go out riding
with au apple-vendor?
"When ?" repeated the tiuy invalid,
imperatively.
And the mother, driveu into a cor
ner, answered, "To-morrow."
There was a littlo old woman, in a
yellow gown stepping quickly about a
farm house kitchen. The yellow gown
was short, revealing her blue woolen
hose and st.urdj shoes. She was mak
ing fine biscuit, her brisk, horny hands
moulding them deTtly and quickly.
She has set out a round table with a
white cloth, taking down the shining
dishes from the old-fashioned dresser.
"They will soon be here, I think,"
she says, ever and anon looking IV m
the great door, of which the upper half
swings in, after tho manner of old
Dutch farm-houses.
She comes out ' presently, smiiiug
and courtesying to a party who drive
up in a neat littlo home-horse wagon.
"This is my mother," says tho young
man who drives the equipage. He
lifts down Fifine ; ho helps Madame to
alight.
Fifine's little face is shining like
that of a cherub new fledged in para
dise. She kisses the little old mother,
aud they are friends instantly.
The sun shines down on hedge and
meadows, tho quaint old house, the
quiet orchard. Blissful scents float on
the air. There is corn rustling on the
sunny slopes, there are blackberries
ripening in tho lane. The whole air
is hazily sleepy with its freight of sun
shine and sweeluess.
After that rare, that delicious lunch
in the ol 1 kitchen, they went wonder
ing about the place to tho old red
bam, to tho pasture, where two cows
stood patiently and, stupidly looking
through the bars. "They are ta.ne!"
said F'flue, who had once beeu to a
menagerie. The little motherluughed,
and the two prattled gaily along hand
in baud.
Madame, with a wild rose in her
hair, stro'led ahead wilh elite Mon
sieur Jack. Bound them rolled the
billowy hills, a f'aiut autumnal haze
floating at their low summits, aud the
smoke from there and there a farm
house wreathing up to tho sunlight.
Some birds twittered softly in the
copse, scarcely disturbing tho silence
and sweetness of the summer-time
hush. A tiny brook running along
tho hedge glittered with cardinal flow
ers. Her companion gathered a hand
ful of the flaming spikes for Madame.
"Ah, how beautiful they aro!" she
cried. "How beautiful it all is here'!
One could, indeed, live here forever!"
She glanced about at the purple
hills, the fields, the peace and pk-nty
everywhere.
"How can you have theso glories,
and bo poor?'' sho atded. "In cuy
country a peasant would call himself
rich wilh all these. Ho Mill have
iikuiv fiiiiid,8, and his wifo will wcarti
Hale., ii ,
07ioS(iiar.(l inch.ioii.i i.
One Square ' onoinoi.,
OnSjuaro throo monn.
OneSojiaro " ono your - - 1
Two Squares, one year - - 1.1 i
Quarter Cd. ' - . . - im
Half ' " - . . w
Ono " " - - . - 100 IV
Legal notices at established rato.
Marriage aud death notice, gratis.
All bills for yearly advertiHcmetiU eol
loctcd quarterly. Temporary advertise
ments must be paid for in advance.
Job work, Cash on Delivery.
----- 1 L!!jf
silk gown. He will not traffic iu tliu
city with the canaille."
deep flush rose to the young;
man's cheek, Ho did not reply at
once.
"Madame," said he at length, "in
this country there are no peasants.
We are all freo and we do not care for
trifles. A man who owns his little
farm in independent; he can make his
own market if he chooses. That is en
terprise ; aud that is what keeps the
fences trim, and the little old mothor
stirring. I buy and sell where I can.
I have no wife to object," he added,
laughing ; "and for the rest, I am, af
ter all, a poor man."
"Such poverty ?" cried Madame,
lilting her hands. "Here, 1 repeat, I
could stay forever, my friend."
"And will you ?" said Monsieur .
Jack, turning his sunburned face su i-
denly to her. "See, Madame, how
happily we havo spent the day togeth- I
er. Let us have many such." I
Fifine came flittiug up tho path,
laughing and singing. j
"Oh stay ! Oh stay, maman !" elio
cried, the dear old mother will not
have us away."
I rfhall buy my, wife a silk gowD,"
whispered Monsieur Jack, mischiev
ously. "Say yes, mamaD," cried Fifine'.
And Madame, blushing aud smil
ing, looked down at the cardiual flow
ers aud 6aid "Yes." Harper's Weekly.
The most interesting and amusing
exhibition of the season took place at
the Green county Natioual bank a few
days ago. The pair were newly mar
ried, and were up from Arkansas on
their wedding trip. They sauntered
into the national, and, seeing but one
chair, the lady took that, and her lord
occupied her lap. This caused the
modest bank officials to blush, and an
additional chair was offeied, which the
happy couple refused. By way of a
change the lord took the chair and tho
lady his lap. He then produced a
black bottlo and proposed her health ;
but she refused to drink. He took a,
long, strong pull, and, looking around
and seeing a hundred gazing eyes and
everybody laughing, remarked that it
was "darned strange a fellow couldn't
hug his wife without attracting the at
tention of the .vhole town." And with
an air of supreme contempt be took
his lady and strode off, much to tho
disgust of the patrons of the show.
Springfield Advertiser.
Judging from the following item
from the Burlington Ilawkeye, mules
are not the safest aud best article of
freignt for reilro-ids to carry :
"Six car loada of mules passed
thsough this city from the West, cn
route to the Eastern market. The door
of the first car was dragging along by
one hinge, the other cars had no doors,'
the air was filled with flying splinters,
one of tho cars had about threo square
feet of roof, one of them had two
boards left in the forward end, two of
them were trundling along on a pair
of ti ticks, and one car had nothing
left of it but the hole the end windo.v
used to be iu, and the cargo was doing .
its level best to kick the hole out. '
Nothing so awful has been seen in
Burlington since the strike."
While Dr. Mary Walker was lec
turing lately in one of the rural towns,
it is Baid that a youth cried out, "Ara
you tho Mary that had a little lamb ?"
"No !" was the sharp reply, "but your
mother has a little jackass 1"
It is thought that B. Young ought
to have recovered from bii- cholera
morbus, but when it came to fighting
with twenty-soven women, each ono
with a different kind of mustard pos
ter for her husband, und a new kind
of herb ta, it was too much for him.
Every woman laid her plaster whero
thcro was room, and the prophet went
down tc. his grave like a sandwich.
Ilawkeye.
S.iys the New Yorfc Commercial :
Preparations are being actively raado
for the resumption of fall 6tudies at tho
various large universities. Entire new
sets of bats aud balls throughout have
been provided at Yale, aud Harvard
is reported to have ordered a large
consignment of euchre decks from a
London dealer.
A camp-meeting orator down in
Connecticut advisud, iu his religious
fervor, tho other day, that all "cro
quet tools" bo burned. And he wjis
right. Croquet is truly the wio!;rtett
of games. Ex. Honi soit que wal
let pins, adds the Philadelphia Pros'.
A contemporary tells of a y 'tin,.:
man who woke tin the other nigh: and
sniv ti ghost in his room. Seizing his
six-shooter, he approached it and
found it was his collar which was
standing on the floor. He calls it n
case of collar in phantom.
Give ihe boy of the period a pair of .
low-cut shoes and fancy stookic,., s
largo seal ring and a revolver, ar.d i!-
happiness aud pride of a new r '
biide will be as nothing to hi?.
I