Rates of Advertising.
i 0 U&t
OneRrpiared Inch,) one Innrtlon fl W)
One Square " ono month - S M
One Square " three months fl Oil
One Square " one yoar - 10 00
Two Squares, ono year - - 15 On
19 riTDLWOED EVKIIY WEDNESDAY, BY
W. 12. DUNN,
mem I if aoiireaoit 4 boriteb'b BUHDraa
ELM BTREET, TI0BE8TA, PA.
TERMS, J2.00 A YEA R.
J
insner . 01. - - - - 30 00
Half " " - . . so 00
Ono " ' - . ISO 00
No Subscriptions received for ft shorter
Legal notices at established rate.
Marringo and death notices, gratis.
All bills for vearlv advertisemeiitM col
penea man uiroo months.
Correspondence solicited from nil parts
y
$2 TEH ANNUM.
lected quarterly. Temporary advertise
ments must t paid for in advance.
of the country. No notice will bo takcu of I
VOL. IX. NO. 11.
T ION EST A, PA., JUNE 14, 1870.
aunenymous communications.
BUSINESS DIRECTORY.
Job work, Cash nn Delivery.
TIONESTA LODGE
Ad. 6!T,
ft
I. O.of O. F".
TVTEETS every Friday evening, t 7
All. o'clock, in the Hall iormorly oecuplod
Vjr tli Uood Templars.
O. W. SAWYER. N. O.
6. H. HASLET, Heo'y. 27-tf.
TIONESTA COUNCIL, NO. 342,
O. XT. -A. IE.
f EETS nt Odd Fellows IaIkd Room,
aa every Tuesday evening, at 7 o ciock.
P. M. CLARK, C,
8. A. VARNER, R. S
31
l. . UI.41NK, M. D. 11. KURKItT, M. ft
jiii ixi: & KaitKiir,
OFFICE anil residence In house former
KJ ly occupied Dr. Winana. Office daya,
tt euiiesuays ana suiuruays, a-tl
W.K
Lathy,
A TTORNEY AT
LAW. Tionesta. Pa.
fa. Olllee next door to Lawrence House.
K. L. Davis,
ATTORNEY AT LAW, Ttonesta, Pa.
Collections made In this and adjoin
ing counties, so-ly
1. B. AONCW, . W. E. LATHY,
Tlueeits,Fa. Erie, Pa.
AGNEW As LATHY,
Attorney at Law, - Tionesta, Pa.
Office on Elm Ktroct.
May 1,MW
MILKH W. TA-TK,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
U V, TIONKSTA, PA.
" F. W. Hays,
ATTOUNRY AT LAW, and Not art I
Fct.K. Reynolds liuklll A .Co.'s
Suek, tfoneoa KU, Oil City, Pa. 90-ly
. SHMCSSJin. . . . IKIUit.
KIXifBAItJbBlflLKY,
Attorneys at Law, ... Franklin, Pa,
V-iltAiTirK In the several Co arts of Ye
1 aanfn, Crawford, Foreat, and edjnln-
t&I counties. W-ly.
XATIOXAL lIOTi:i
TIIDIOTJTE., IP-A..
W. D. UIVKLIN, rBOPRiBTOu.
Frist-Claaa Liccn(d House.
Good sta-
Vie connected.
13-ly
Tionesta House,
A NtlUIW WELLKK. Proprietor. This
V koase has been newly tlttcd up and ia
new open for the nreommodalion of the
yablli. Charges reasonable.' 34 ly
CENTRAL HOUSE,
BONDER A AUNKW HLOCK. I
AaKW. Proprietor. This Is n new
aeuse. and lias lu.t licen fitted up fur the
areemiiKMlation of the public. A portion
of the patronage of the publio is solicited.
n-ly
Lawrence House,
rTMOXESTA. PA.. WILLIAM LAW-
I RKXCE. 1 ..oiMitKTOU. This nous
U pnntrnll v located. Everything new and
well furnished Superior aooommoda-
lions and strict nt tout loll trivon to uiiphIm.
Veuntahlvs and F ru lis of oil kinds servod
In tlioir season. Sample room for Cum-
metvial Agents.
FOREST HOUSE,
O A.
VAltNF.lt Proi-riktor. Opposito
O. Co
I'ourt House. Tionesta, Pa. Just
ope nrd. Kvorvthhig new and clean and
freak. The lxt of liiiuors kept mmstnntly
n hand. A portion of the public pstron
mif hi reapeetfullysoliolted. 4-17-lV
W. C. COBURN, M. O.,
TMYMICIAN A SURGEON offora
his
1 services to the people
of Forest Co,
Having had an eierience or iwuive
Ymi-s Iit conalaiit practiire. Dr. Coburn
BimrsiilMia tn irive sstisfurtlon. Dr. Co
burn makes a Htcinlty of the treatment
nt Xntal. Tlirost. I.uuif ami all other
. Chmnie or lingrltig diseases. Having
investigated all scloiitillc iubUhhIh o(, cur
ing dlM'itse and suIvcUkI the gooil front all
.i'.ii.m In. will iriiiirRiiteo relief or aoure
in all cm whore a cure is lmssiblo. o
Charge for CNinsultntlon. All foes will bo
renmniuble. Pi-fosioiml visiU lilttdo at
nil hours. PartU-s at a distune can con
.nil lilm li littler.
)!lli-o and lU-slilenco sei'ond huilding
1.1.. il,.. r..nrL ll.iiiHe.Tionexta. l a. Of-
rl.-a dsvs Wednewlsvs and Saturdays. 2.'tf
Dr. J. I Acorrl.
PHYSICIAN AND Sl'RUKON, who lias
lil mtMu years' expoi lcni-e in a lare
and amvea,.rnf piiuli. c, will attend all
l'rofessi.ii.al Calls. Olllco In Ids Drug and
i4rocerv Store. liK-tcd in Tidioute. near
Tidloute House.
IN HIS STORE WILL nE FOUND
A full uwirtmrnt of Medicines. Llouors
i'ol.msvi, 'sr, Ntalioner.v. tiluss, Taints,
Oils, Cutlery, all of the loni quality, and
ill lx snld at rcaMonablo rates.
Hit. CM AS. O. DAY, an esperlenced
Pl.nli-lmi .ml Iiruir list from Now York,
ha charge of the Store. All prescriptums
put up accurately.
. . hit. o. r. rits a asi.tt.
ja 4 r, i'auk .e vo.t
BACKERS
Csvmm 0 l'.lm'.t Walnut lets. Tiouesta.
IUlk 0 Iunt and lepfcit.
latMsttt allowed mi Time PeMsuU.
e.dleti.ii mwlsoaall the Principal tf'inU
of the V. U,
ColiecUous fcoiicil.sl. W-ly.
rF.I.T CA Itl'KTIKIJS, S3 cts.
per
yanl.
r KK.I.T 4'K.l I.I N lor rooms 111 plm-jol
in y
SII
plaster, r r l.i K m ir 1 . sin .1 ii
Tor dimples, d ln C. J. FA Y, C:ndcn,
.V'lUV J CI SI V.
Painting, Paper-Hanging &c,
U1 It. CHASE, of Tionesta, olTon hi
lJ service to those In need of
PAINTTNO,
UKAI.NIINtJ,
S1ZINO A VARNISHING,
HHJN WKITINU.
PAPER HANUINU.
AMD CARRIAOB WOKK,
Work promptly attended to and
Hut Infuotton. Guaruntced.
Mr. Choso will
work In
the country
whon dosirod.
i;j-u.
WILLIAMS So CO.,
MEADVILLK, - - FENN'A.,
TAXIDERMI8T8.
T)IRDS and Anlmnla stuffed and mount-
J- od to order. Artificial Kycs kept in
stock. 2-ly
sues. c. n. jii:atji,
DRESSMAKER, Tionesta, Pa.
MRS. ITEAT1I lias rooontly moved to
tills place for tlio purixmo of meeting
a want which the ladies of the town and
county have for a lonit time known, that
of having a drensinuker of oxprrience
among thnm. I am prepared to make all
kinds ot urosHOs In uie intosi hiviom, ana
guarantee satis faction. Stamping for braid'
ins and embroidory done in the best man
nor. with tlie newest patterns. All I ask
is a tulr trial. Kcsidence on WuU-r Street.
In the house formerly occupied by Jacob
ijurivor. mi
TIME TRIED AND FIRE TESTED !
THK OKIQtNAt,
ETNA INSURANCE COMPANY
OF HARTFORD, CONN.
ASSETS Dee. 81, 1873,
a . f Jl f , tt B . 7" o.
MILES W. TATE. Sub Aaent.
45 T'ouosta, Pa.
Frank Ilobblns,
n "r-r r m r A r tt ir T
(aUOCKSSOK TO DBMIHO.)
Pictures In every atyleof the art. Yiewa
of the oil regions for salo or taken to or
der.
CENTRE STREET, near R, R. cresslng,
SYCAMORE STREET, near Union De
pot, Oil City, Pa. 20-tf
PHOTOGRAPH GALLERY,
ELM NTUEET,
SOUTH OF ROBINSON IIONNER'S
STOK1C.
Tionesta,
CARPENTER, - -
Pa.,
- Proprietor.
Pictures taken In all the latest styles
the art. 20-tf
I NIIALIi ATTHX1
TO MY
Business as Usual !
Ctt21Sj?& VI
L. KLEIN,
(In G. W. Dot ard's Store, Tlonento, Pa.)
I'llACTICAL
ft, A T P U M R 1 C D 9 IC1UCI CD
ViHiviiiiiHrtL.il a uuiil.i.l.11,
DEALER IN
Wutchf, Clock. Solid and Mated
Jewelry, Itlack Jewelry.
Eye JlaaHe, Spec
Utcle ti, Violin Striwj, Cc, f c.
Particular attention given to
Repairing Fine
WatcheS.
NEBRASKA GRIST MILL,
Til i: (i It 1ST MILL at Nebraska (Lacy,
town. I Forest county, has Ikwii thr
ouulilv overhauled and refuted in first'
rlusa order, and is now running aud doing
all kinds of
t UNTO?!
u 11 1 x 11 1 x .
FLOUR.
FEED, AND OATS,
Const sully en l,siid, and bold at tho very
l"il figures,
tiiiiu II. W. LEDE1SUK
Freeville's Great Bazaar.
They were coiug to bave a baxaar in
that town. There was a Rood deal of I
distress among the poor, for the panic
came, and hard limes came, and tome
manufacturers railed, and those who
did not reduced their working force,
and many operatives were out of em-
nlovment. and were wantiur belp.
Economy end retrenchment were the
order of the day. The ladies, some of I
them, did their own sewing, borne did
with but one servant : some did with-
ut any. They kept their daughters
out ot school to retrench school ex
penses, and the academy dismissed one
teacher, a young lady with an invalid
mother. The ladies who kept house
managed very cloiely indeed, and do-
servod much credit. Mrs. jHiiiyun
concluded not to buy the ten-dollar
silk she longed for, and took one for
four. Jiiven more, she got a friend to
smuggle it from Europe, and .it cost
even less.
Everybody said, "What a good ex
ample of economy Mrs. Millytin sets
usl ihereitis nor at all necessary,
only it makes it easier for us to do it
who are oblige I to do it.
13ut Mrs. Jones, the dressmaker,
missed the patronage of Mrs. Millvun,
and thought that her work, which had
always been good enough before, was
good enough now. But there was no
use to employ so many bands if she
was not going to have the best custom,
anl all ot it, too. bo two of her sew
ing-girls were paid off weeks before
the usual dull season; and even then
it was not easy, with her sick husband
and lame little boy, to bring her pro
fits to the expeuse point, let alone sav
ins anything.
Then Judge Rochester set au exam
ple of economy. His barn needed re-
pairs; but althongh material was low
and labor plenty, it was no time to
have extra expense; so he let it go,
So poor uutuaie little boy bad no
overcoat, and staid out 01 school, it
soon became obvious that something
would have to be done tor the poor to
keep the wolf from their doors, and
"the bazaar" was the talk of every
body. The tender glow of benevolence
pervaded society. Judge Rochester
gave fifty dollars, with a warm feeling
around his beart thai (lid hirn credit.
Mrs. Millyun gave a hundred towards
paying expenses or getting it up; and
so on through society.
I ho young ladies worked early and
late over fancy work and the pietlv-
costumes in which they were to appear
at the bazaar. Ibe wisest economy
was practised. Everybody did every
thing herself that could be done by
professional hands ; and when uecessi
ty called iu skilled labor, it was always
expected that a handsome deduction
should be made, as it was a "charity."
Sometimes the emnlovees crumbled.
but dared not offend rich natrons : aud
so they aid it, even though grudging
. '
lv.
"What f blessed thing it is, said
.. .1 e a. aa 4
Mrs. Allen, her fine eyes suffused with
moisture, "that we are getting on so
well with the bazaar. Everybody
seems so willing. . Thus, Mrs. Johnson
finds time to help us, even with her
seven children ; Mrs. Tribolite has
lent us her grandmother s brocade for
our 'Marie Antoinette; any Mrs. Mil
Ivun has given so much to bear our
expenses. We shall not be obliged to
hue anything done scarcely I
"Humph 1 said Miss Mary Bryant,
who was Mrs. George Allen's single
sister, and had five thousand a year
of herwn, anl no questions asked.
As I-aid before, "Humph 1" said Ma-
rv 1'ryant.
"Who makes the couee this year f
she asked. .
"Uh, we are going to do that our
selves. Mrs. O'Lay asked us two dot
lars a night, and we are going to savo
that, and Mrs. ISrown said sue would
not do it.
"I'll see to tho coSce," remarked
Miss Mary Bryant. -
"What! you make coffee? What
aiJ T0U sa7 D0Ul cooaing, yesier
day?
".Not all. Ira going to pay jNora
O'Lay two dollars a night for coffee
and trying oysters, ller husband is
out of work and she has six children
For the four nights of the bazaar it
will be quittj a life, and she will come
in at the death' and help clear up.
"Well, of course, if you pay out of
your own pocket, it is nobody a busi
ness, but the Keliol Society won 1 pay
any bills."
said Miss Bryant. "What are the
girls going to mtme this afternoon,
when tuev come herer
"Dress dolls, ibere s a great deal
made on dolls, if you understand it
If you dress them cheaply and show
ily, and sew oa tho clothes, you more
than quadruple the eost ia the profit.
Don t you eeeH
"1 understand. I was sacnuced to
such dolls in my childhood. Flimsy
tarletan and spangles, and to cut a
stitch was tu lacrtlko a wardrobe.
And the doll had on nothing to speak
of during thVrest of her natural exist
ence. Do these young ladies propose
to immolate the uveniles also on the
altar of economy 7"
"Y bat a queer girl you are I 1 don t
know what you mean. Of course,
they want to make all Ahey can for
the baxaar. liut here comes the first
of them, while we are talking, and
here is Mrs. Johnson man with the
dolls in a clothes-basket 1"
In truth, it was a pretty, a kindly
sight to see tha girls gather together
in Mrs. Allen pretty rooms. Uirls
are so pretty in themselves that it
don't matter what they do ; they are
always the nicest of all things to look
at. But to-day they mean business.
There were bright and experienced
ones who cut, and industrious ones
who sewed, and ignorant ones who
botchtd and idle ones who shirked,
and busvbodies who inspected but did
not work, as always in such cases.
Miss Bryaut came in while they were
the busiest, with her walking-dress on,
and the brightest smiles on her face.
"Well, girls, how many have I got
dress 7,F
"Just as many as you please.
to
There's a hundred here, and each one
of us can dress one apiece this after
noon," said the pretty dolls' chair-
girl.
That's only twenty. Well, ill
dress fifty."
r illy dolls I U Miss JJryant, you
are too good!" and a buzz of appro
bation rau through the circle.
No I am not Fifty dolls isn't
much to dress for one's bleeding coun
try. Select fifty of the prettiest and
the largest. Put them in the basket,
and I'll call for them in an hour or
And Miss Bryant walked off.
The carriage was at the door
and
Miss Bryant drove away in it.
She
drove a long way up Washington
street, and got out at a droll little
shop, kept by an old lady in a fall
bordered cap.
It would have done your heart
good to bave seen Miss Bryant turn
over the droll piles of goods that bad
lain on the shelves so long, some of
them, that tbey were quite shelf-worn
But there were remnants or silk 01
bright colors, of bobbinet lace, ill u
sious. ed triii 8 : summer silks in little
checks, and small remnants o.f lining
silks: briclit merinos and wool
delaines, balls of narrow ribbons, odds
and ends of all sorts and kinds. The
shelves looked quite bare when Miss
lirvant paid the bill, and the lace ot
the little old lady erew lovely to be-
hold.-
How comes t the winter, Mrs,
Hazard 7" asked Miss Bryant.
"Pretty bad, pretty bad. 1 ou see,
I'd rented my upper room to Nellie
Moore and ber mother. And now
she's out of work, owing to Mrs. Jones
dismissing her extra help on account
of hard times, and I expect they'll
bave to move, and then what I'll do
to pay the rent puzzles me."
"1 11 lust step up there," said miss
Bryant, just as if that was not what
she intended to do.
"So Nellie," said Miss Bryant, "you.
are not going to be as busy as formerly
lor a wnue. x am ever so giaa, tor it
helps me out of an embarrassment,
I've got fifty dolls to dress for the
bazaar. Of course I'm not so silly as
to do it myself. Here's the material
to dress tbem. Can you do it I
"In two weeks yes, if mother will
help on tho plain things. It's all hand
work mostly, and lakes time.
"Well, they are of all sizes; some
of them very handsome 5 some small
and easy to dress. Now they must be
honestly dressed , a, least all the lar
ger ones, with tho clothes to come off
and put cn, just as little girls love
them best; and if you cannot do it
tell me. Let Catherino Waters do up
the clothes that need it she is out of
work, too ami toll her to send me
the bill." "
"Well, it's hard enough on her,"
said Nellie; "but Mrs. Rochester says
that they cannot allord a laundress
this winter and keep a cook too."
"Humph ! said Miss lirvant.
"I'll briug you round the dolls before
dark."
When Miss Bryant came back she
felt for a momout as if she had missed
her way ami got into a bee hive, there
was such a busy bum.
"I'm sure I try to be economical,"
said one young lady, a teacher of
music. "I save a dollar a week wash
ing handkerchiefs and collars, and
that's what I'm going to give to tho
bazaar. I feel as if I had earned it
almost." .
"And the bazaar is to help the poor,
said Miss Bryaut, with that odd smile
of hers.
"Of course."
"What kind of a woman is your
washerwoman 7"
"Oh, she's a very respectable
woman, I assure you."
"Likely to come on the Itcliinf Soci
ety this winter 7"
lielp it.
"Now, my dear girl," said Miss
Bryant, with her dazzling smile,
"don t you think that dollar a week
mat you cave, at, 1 am sure, some
inconvenience to yourself, and I am
equally certain, some annoyance to
your landlady, would help 'tho Relief
Society more by kocping yenr wash
erworaan oeyona tne need or its bein,
by giving her honest pay for the only
part of her work on which she makes
any profit than to put it into tbesoup
house lund to help, - you don t know
who, or how needy or deserving they
reany arer uoa t you see that you
take bonest bread to give to possible
impostors:
"But, Miss Bryant, don t you ap
prove of a bazaar.7 Don't you think
the soup-house a good thing?"
'Yes, the strikers think so, feeling
sure that their families will be helped
while tljey fight their employers. The
frontier towrtt think so when they
have toreign invasions ot needy adveu
turers. une who has depended on
the soup-house will depend again
and you do much to encourage vice
and idleness. No, girls 1 Have your
bazaar. Enjoy yourselves, make your-
selves, pretty and have a good time,
God bless you all I But while you are
doing it, don't discharge the music
teacher and teach the littlo sisters, if
you can afford to pay her, for she has
a mother to support, or somebody
else; nor do unsuitable work and
make yourself ill, wheu the fee for one
doctor s visit will be a godsend to
some poor woman glad of the job. If
you are rich enough to be genorous,
you can be honest and help others to
be. If you economize, try to do it all
yourself; jlou't try to teach, and take
the place of a poorer girl who could
do it just as well, or, better, who lives
on it, while you only buy ribbons
with the money."
"But the example"
"Fudge 1 as Burchell says. Peo-
pic who are needy don t want your
example; they want your place.
Your room in the army of teachers is
far better than your company. Now,
there is a large class of people born
and bred to better das, who - wiU
grow very cold and fed very hungry,
and never tell anybody, who will
always be decent and pinched and
patient ; and I bold it is the business
of eood Christians to help these, and
belp theffc with honest pay for honest
work, and with such timely belp, deli
cately offered, as will confirm them in
their own self-respect,
This was quite a speech for Miss
Bryant. But the result was seen ; for
although not nearly so many persons
"donated" work or articles, or were
asked to do so, so much was paid out
for such offices that there were not so
many poor folks to help that winter,
for Freeville iS only a small place,
alter all
And the young folks hod a glorious,
good time, and will talk of it for years
to come.
A BEKEAVKD MOTHER'S PETITION.
Monday evening, as the train bound
east in charge of conductor Dunham
stopped here for supper, we noticed a
vouncr wamnn attired in deep mourn
ing alight from ouo of the passenger
coacbes and walk down the platform,
attended by a gentleman. Sue held a
handkerchief to her eyes, and, with
her bead resting upon the shoulder of
her escort, her body quivered with
emotion, as the hot tears ran down her
face. Wo did not suspect the cause
of her grief uutil she passed the bag
it u ire master leaning acainst his car,
As she did so, sho titled up her bead,
aud with the tears still streaming down
her pale face, she said, iu a tremulous
vuics: "A'leaso do not pile anything
itii my little ouesr ana then, giving
up alresh to tho liitensest griet, she
sauk her head ou the shoulder of the
trenllejiau, and passed back to the
coach from which she came.
As soon as she was gone from sight,
wo stepped up to tho baggage man
and inquired the cause of tho lady's
action, lie thereupon told us that on
ly three etks ago she bad passed op
the road with a family of three little
children, bhe aud they were at the
time enioyinor (rood health, aud were
happy in oue mother's love. They
were beautiful children aud the moth
er idolized them. Having reached
their poiut of desliuatioo ia the west
ern portion of Kansas, tbsy were sud
denly taken sick, aud the three little
ones died wilhiu a few days of one
another, and there was nothiug left to
the mother but to bear their corpses
back to ber homo in the East, and so
they wore ia tho car. Scdali (io.)
"No man ean do anything agaiunt
his will." said a metaphysician to au
Irishman. "Bo jabers, 1 had a bra
thtr," said Tat, "that wist to Botney
Bay. an' faith I know it was greatly
"gamut bis oh ti will.
"Certainly n , if she can
But she may,. for all that."
-J
ADOt'T KrtHF.CItOtVM.
Now that the planting season is at
hand, wo have no doubt but that
many a farmer will rummage through
bis garret to find the cast olf garments
which, stuffed with straw, are to be
set up in the cornfield to warn off tho
marauding crow. We havo never
had much faith in this artifice. Crows
are possessed of much more wisdom
than is generally credited to them ;
and while an immovable bundle of
rags may drive them away for a short
time, wo boliove that eventually they
discover the humbug, as we bave seen
too birds competently picking up
young corn almost within the shadow
of as an elaborate stuffed scarecrow
as ever was erected. We, however.
have suggested a couple of plans
which are calculated to intimidate
even the boldest of these birds ; and
as they are easily carried out, perhaps
our farmer readets may make uso
of them. The first and best is a sus
pended looking glass. Take two
small cheap mirrors, fasten them back
to back, attach a cord to 0110 angle
and hang them from an elastic pole.
When the glass swings in tho wiud
the sun s rays are reflected all over
the field, even if it be a largo one;
and even llie oldest aud bravest of
crows depart precipitately should
one of its lightning flashes fall ou him.
The second plan, although a terror to
crows, is especially wen euiieu to
fields subjected to the inroads of small
birds and even chickens. It involves
an artificial hawk made' from a big
potato and long goose and turkey
feathers. The maker can exercise
his immitative skill in sticking tho
feathers into the potaao so that they
resemble the spread wings and tail of
the hawk. It is astonishing what a
ferocious-looking bird of prey can be
constructed from the nbove materials.
It only remains t hung the object
from a tall bent poi and the wind
will do the rest. The biiJ makes
swoops and dashes in the most head
long and threatening manner. Even
the moBt inquisitive of venerable bens
has been known to hurry rapidly from
its dangerous vicinity, while to email
birds it carries unmixed dismay.
Scientifio American.
HLINU1NCJ SLANG.
As a newly engaged comnicteial
traveler was about starting on a
"drumming" trip from his place in
Chicago the other day, he suddenly
turned to his employer, a grave old
merchant, and inquired, "I say boss,
what shall I do if I get out of 'soap 7' "
"Soap!" said the .old gonlleman ;
"why, save your samples, and then
you won t get out. "iiut 1 mean
what it 1 should get out of 'greaser
continued tho young man. "Grease 7
grease?" pondered the old man, "why,
you don't need any grease you're
not working lor a lubricating estab
"Oh, but you don't understand me,"
chimed in the youthful employee,
rather embarrassed ; "I mean what
shall I do if I run out of spondulix
stamps-wealth?" "Spondulix 7 stamps t
wealth 7 echoed the mystibed mer
chant, looking at the young fellow
over his glasses, to seo if he had gono
crazy. "Yes, currency greenbacks,"
explained the drummer; "cash, money,
you know! A light seemed to tiawn
on the old merchant's mind at this
moment, for gazing upon the creaturo
beforejiim with a look of mingled
contempt and pity, he broke forth,
"Young man, I rather guess you
needn't go out, for I don't believe our
class of customers could get along
very well with you they all speak
English. Step up to the desk and
that man there will settlo with you.
Aud that is the wuy the "high toned
kid" got "bounced all through tho
pernicious habit of "slinging slaug."
NOT KNOWN IN 0EAVKW.
Our Cincinnati correspondent is
responsible for the following:
J. P. Spinins has been intorviowea:
by Benjamin, a revivalist from Chic-
Uoni. "Are you tue manager 01
.... ..
the Elm Street Priming Co. ?"
Sp. "Yes, sir.
Bonj. "I huvo a job I wish you to
do for me."
Bp. "All right; we can do it for
vou.
Benj. "Well, I want it done for
Bbthiug. I prayed to God to direct
me to some kiud-hearted printer who
would not charge mo for the work,
and he directed me to your establish
ment." Bp. "Well, I guess the Lord dou't
know us, or he would not have sent
you here. 'There was only one printer
ia tue cuy mat aoue wors. as you
want it done, aud, I guess, he is dead,
or moved over the hills to tho poor
house." Marriage is described by a
cynic as a lircsoiuo book with
line preface.
French
u very