The Forest Republican. (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, June 07, 1876, Image 2

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    , ii JTHi in i 1ki mtfiV ravniii
tf oust gtjmWrim.
u Tvm.izum every WEntffcatur, by
' W.R.DUNN.
ELT STREET, TlOBIWr A, PA. .
TltRMS.fa.OO A YEAR.
No Subscriptions received for shorter
porlnd tlmfl tlifoo mnnthi,
Correioi(lence solicited from all parts
fif the country. No notice will bo taken of
anunnymotia communications.
DUSINESS DIRECTORY.
TIOSESTA LODGE
So. 869,
I. O. Of O. TP.
TtTF.ETS every Friday evening, at T
ll L o'clock, In the If nil lormarly occupied
ky tbe Oood Templars.
u. w. sawter, k. o.
8. IT. ITASLET, Hec'y. 27-tf.
TIONESTA COUNCIL, NO. 342,
o.tr. jl.
II VVKTH at Oilit Fellows' Txlmi Room.
1'A every Tuesday evenincr, at 7 f clock.
P. M. CLARK, C.
8. A.
. YARSKR, 11. H. 81
lilt. WM. VOOEL,
OFFICEo pposlle IjiwrtnM House, Tlo
nesta, Pa., where he can be (bund t
kll tlmea when not profesfllonally alment.
1R. J. E. It LA IlfE,
"FFICE and residence In house former-
V ly occupied Dr. Winnna. Office riaya,
Wsdaesdojs and Saturday. . S2tf
J. B. AOMEWj W.B. LATHY
-' , TtooMts, Pa. Dria, Pa.
AGNKW So 1ATIIY,
Attorneys at Law, Tlonesta, Pa.
. - Ofueeon Elm Street.
May 1, 18T$.-tf
K. L. Davis,
A TTORNET AT LAW, Tlonesta, Pa.
Ceilwtlona malt In tula and adjoin
Ing aonatiM. 40-1 y
; ATTORNEY AT LAW,
4 , ' TIOXESTA, FJ.
r.Vf.Haya,
A. Pernio, Reynolds Mukill. at Co.'s
a vmiwv a T t.tw il Wnfiir
BMoaai. tteneoai m., uu vny, ra. wiy
0. RWua. ' ' sr, a. saiiUiT.
T ! KIXXMAR SMILEY,
Mersey at ' Fraaklln, Pa.
PR ACTICR in ike aereral Coarta of Te
no, Crawford, Foreat, aud adjoia-
lag eououee. -iy
, , NATION A I IIOTEI,
TIX3IOTJTE1., OP-Au
VT. D. BUCKLIK, rnorBIBTOB.
' 7riatClaaa tileenaed Huuna. Good ata-
lila eonnoeted. 13-ly
. Tlonesta House,
AKDRCW WKf.T.KR, Proprietor. Thla
kmw haa bceo newly tilted up and ia
tow open for the a;coirimodatiu of the
j'ibllj. CUargcvi reiwonable. M ly
CKNTFAL HOUSE,
BOXNKR AHNKW RTjOCK. I
Asm rw. PronricUir. Tliia ia a new
noitue, ami lianjut been fitted up for the
eweiamodatioii of the public A portion
of the patronage of the publlo ia aolk-lted
J-ly
' Lawrerc House,
fTHOXFSTA. PA.. WILLIAM LAW
1 RKXUR. PnofBiKTOB. Thla houaa
U Mintrallr lovntod. Kvorrthlnar new and
well famished Superior ao'om moda-
A atrint attention iriven to Knenta,
Vanetablea and Fruita of all kinda aervel
. t their aeaaon. Sample room for t orn
. anoraial Agenta.
FOREST HOUSE,
r A. VARNRR Propmiktor. Onnoslte
O. Court llouae. Tioneata, -Pa. JuMt
pened. Evervthlna; new and clean and
fresh. The beat of liquor kept eonatantly
en hand. A portion of the publlo patron,
ace la reapeetfully solicited. 4-17-lr
' W. C. COBURN, M. D-i
PIIT8ICIAIT A SUROEOK oflera hia
urlra in the neonle of Foreat Co,
Havinir had e-experienca of Twelve
"Yeara In constat practice, Dr. Coburn
teca to irive aatiMfaction. Dr. Co
, burn makee a apeclalty of the treatment
of Naxal, Throat, Lumr and all other
Chronlo or lintferliiK diaeaaea. Havinti
invetiKaietall eclentitio methoda of eur-
ina; diuoaae and al3ted the frood from all
viima. ha will a-uarantee relief or a cure
in all crttte where a core ia poaaible. "No
Charge ftr Conanltation. All feea will be
' returnable. Profoaalonal yiaiU made at
all houra. Partieaala distance can oon
unit him hv ltittar. w
Oflh-e and Residence aocond building
lialow the Court llouae. Tioneata. Pa. Of-
' lice daya Weduewlaya and Haturdaye. 2Stf
Dr. J. L. Aconb,
THYSICIAN AND SURG EOX. who liaa
I hal fifteon yeara' exierlenee In a large
and aucciul praoiK-e, win auenu an
1'rofoMional Calla. Offlie in hla Drug and
Mraoory p!Ure, located In Tidioute, itoar
Tidioute House.
I X II 13 STORE WILL BE FOUND
A full aaaortment of Medicines, Llanora
Tobaooo, Cigara, Stationery. Glass, Palnta,
Oils, Cutlery, all of the best quality, aud
will 1 m m rAiAnnM.hle rates.
- DR. CHA8. O. DAY, an experienced
Physician and DruKH 1st from New York,
kas charge of the 8 to re. All preaoriptiuns
put up accurately.
BL a. MAT. . JKO. r. riSK. A. a IBU.T.
MAT, PARK 'Jb CO,,
33 -A. nE IKZ 33 33 3
Corner ef Elm'A Walnut Sta. Tioneata.
Rank of Discount and Deposit.
" m Iaterest allowed en Tune Deposits.
HoBeoUonsmadeonall the Principal points
, v. or aue u. o.
" ' Collections aollcited. 18-ly.
7EI-TCARPRTIVaS, 85 els. per yard
L FELT CKI LINU ir rooma in piac
PtuHtur. FFLT KlK)KINO anil SIDlNI
For samples, adiiresa C. J. FAY, Ciimdwo,
VOL. IX. NO. 10.
ainting, Paper-Hanging &c,
It. CHASE, of Tlonenta, nfTera
' aervicea to those In neeit of
hU
PAIJfTIKrt,
GRAlJfllfO,
CAWTMTXtJfa
H1ZINU A VARMSHINO,
WON WHITING,
PAPERHA.N'GltftJ.
AND CARRIAUK WORK,
Work promptly attended to and
HntlfUtIm Gnarnntced.
Mr. Phase- will work
In Hie country
18-tf.
when desired. .
WILLIAJ1M Ac CO., "
MEADVILLE, - TEXITA-
TAXIDERMISTS.
BIRDS and Animals stnflbd and mount
ed to order. Artificial Eyes kept In
took. . . . 2-ly
TilXH. C Si. UtlATII,
DRE33MAKER, TioaesU, Fa.
MRS. ITEATII has recently mored to
thla place for the pnrpoae of meetlnsr
want which the ladles of the town and
county hare fbr a lon time known, that
of having; a dressmaker of experience
among them. I am prepared to make all
kinds ef dresses in the latest style, and
fcuarantne aittlMfactlon. Stamping' for braid
ng aud embroidory done In the beat man
ner, with the newest patterns. Ail i aaic
I a (air trial. Residence on Water Street.
in the house formerly occupied by Jacob
Hunyer. uti
TIME TRIED AND FIRS TESTED!
THB ORIGINAL
ETNA INSURANCE COHPANY
OF HARTFORD, CONN.
ASSETS Dee. 81, 1R7S,
MILES W. TATE. Sub AirenL
45 1 T'oneala, Pa.
Frank Ilobbins,
PnOTOQRAPHEIl,
(stjorasaoa to dkmivo.)
Pletures la erery styleef the art. Vlows
of the oil regions for sale or taken to or
der.;. 1 j 1 -.!... 1 -
CE.TTRR STREET, near R, It. creasing.
atTCAMORE STREET, near Union De-
p.-n, uu city, ra. sw-tr
PHOTOORAPIl. GALLERY.
- ELM NTRIITi
SOUTH OF RORIXSOX BONNER'S
BTORU,
Tlonesta,
CARPENTER, . .
Pa.,
- Proprleter.
Pictures taken In all the latent atyles
thearU 2u-U
I SHALL ATTOD
TO MY
Business as -Usual!
(In O. W. Bovard's Store, Tlonesta, Pa.
PRACTICAL
FATCHMAKER & JEWELER
DEALER IN
Watchen, Clock, Solid and Tlatd
Jewelry, Black Jewelry.
Eye OUutses, Spee
taclea, Violin String, tCe., Tc,
Particular atteution jiven to
Repairing Fino Watches.
NEBRASKA GRIST MILL
THE GRIST MILL at Nebraska (Lacy
town,) Forest oounty, haa been tber
oughly overhaulcsi and refitted tn first
elans order, and la uow ruuuing aud diug
ail kind or
CUMTQ3I CtlllNDlNa
FLOUR.
FEED, AND OATS,
Constantly on hand, and sold at the very
Air.' .tY'
si..' - '
jliyillll
iowchi nuures.
41-tim II. W. LEDEBUR.
TIONESTA, PA.,
The old Clockmaker.
Aa Tuttle was an illustration of
the fact that roan ia partly res possi
ble for his own conduct and partly
not; and ibat the boundaries between
responsibility and irresponsibility are
tragus, yariable aad mysterious.
krery Batnrday night be got drunk,
went home and whipped hla wife.
corsed and swore, broke semething,
and had to be quelled by the police,
who took him to the calaboose. Nest
morning ha was sober and repentant,
and was let out. lie would then ro
to church, and. after moraine ccrrice
the pastor would request the eldera of
the church to remain a while. Er-
rybod always knew what that
meant. With many tears, Mr. Tuttle
wonld express his deep penitence, and
profess a determination to lead a new
ifa. The pastor and eldera would
forgiye him, and he would be all
right again till Batnrday. lis would
teach in the afternoon Sunday school.
take his part in the prayer meeting,
and be to all outward appearance a
most exemplary christian. But Rat-
rday be would tall again. Ho it
went on year after year. The officers
of the church were sorely perplexed.
There never was a man more regular
in his habits, never a man who exhib
ited signs of deeper, more heartfelt
penitence, or promised more faithfully
to amend. A distinguished physician,
on being consulted, gave it as his
opinion that the unfortunate man had
become a prey to a disease which at
tacked him periodically, causintr for
a time an irrestible thirst for liquor,
which being taken, placed the victim
beyond moral responsibility.
Un riday evening Mr. Initio was
itting alone opposite his work bench.
He bad lain down his tools', and was
gazing musingly into the street, ob
serving the hurrying passers by, and
listening to tbe tramp of feet on the
Savemeat He sat thns while the
usk gathered and just as the first
street lamp was being lit, he heard
footsteps on the stairs, and then the
opening of tbe door, and then walk
ing on tbe floor, and at the same time
the room was illuminated by theelare
of the most brilliant light he had
ever seen, hardly excepting sun light.
A stranger, past middle ace. in his
shirt sleeves, wit!i spectacles on his
nose, advauce to tbe work bench, and
silting down his lantern, began to
hand Is 1 utile s tools with a dexteritv
that proved him to be an expert. He
gathered together a screwdriver, the
oil and-a pair of pliers. Then turn
ing to luttle, who was incapable of
speech or motion, the stranger appear
ed to use the screw-driver about Tut
tie's head, appearing really to be U-
king screws out or the middle of bis
forehead, bis temples, and the sides
and back of his head. These screws
he laid on the table, and turning to
Tuttle, lifted off the upper half of the
clock-maker's skull and sat it down
on the 'work bench. Then adjusting
an eye-glass to one eye, he took up
the oil and a pair or pliers, poked a
little about his brain, shook his head,
laid down the instruments and started
out, leaving hia lantern. Mr. Tuttle
called out to him to come back and
nut his skull on again, and though be
shouted over acd over again, with all
his might tbe measured tread of the
foot steps passed en and out, and down
the stair and died away on the side
walk.
In his distress, Mr. Tuttle east his
eyes upward, and at once saw what
arrested and diverted bis attention.
In a case were three clocks running.
Tbev were made of precious metals
and precious stones, and glittered and
flashed in tbe light of the wonderful
lamp in inch a way aa to daxile and
bewilder him, Looking under the
case, he waa startled to perceive a
pair of human eyes gazing straight
into his own. He found there was a
faoe and part of a body, aad the feat
ures seemed very familiar, lie toon
discovered that if he had met a twin
brother the resemblance to himself
could not have been more exact In
deed, after a little further observation,
he found that he was looking into a
mirror, which reflected another mirror
behind him and that he was actually
staring into his own bruins, which
turned ont to be a beautiful system of
clock-work, and therein were quite
different from what be bad expected.
But then he . had never before been
favored with aa opportunity ef seeing
the inside of his own skulL
Whether something or somebody
spoke to him, or how It got iato his
mind, he could not tell, but be was
able quite clearly to understand that
one or these clocks governed all the
physical movements. He saw that it
was set to run twelve hours, then it
would run down, all the voluntary
motions would cease, and the machine
would sleep. A touch oa the shonlder
would start a curious spiral move
ment in the brain, a mainspring would
be drawn taut, it would pull upon all
tbe physical faculties and tbe wan
JUNE 7, 1876.
wonld be wonnd up again and set run
ning for another twelve hours. It was
very strange that after all his dama-
fing remarks about old clocks, Mr.
uttle should find that he was noth-
iogbut an old clock himself.
Ills intellectual faculties were also
regulate! by clock-work, but arran
ged for perpetual motion.
llis moral faculties, too, were regu
lated by clock-work. But he was able
to perceive that while most people's
moral faculties are made to run eight
days, so that when wonnd op on Sun
day, by a sermon or other religious ex
sreiees, they would run till next Sun
day without any abatement of vigor,
his, by some misGt, were only arranged
to run for six days acd a half, so that
on batnrday afternoon the mainspring
wonld go with a bang, all the works
would run down in a minute, and then
he was without any moral machinery
aay more man a cew. lie saw also
that tbe mainspring had tbe appear
ance of having been filed nearly in
two in mant places, numbers of the
cog-wheels bad lost one or more teeth,
and it numerous places there was so
much dirt and sticky oil the works
would hardly move. Now, indeed.his
conscience smote him. He recollected
that ie had filed many mainsprings in
two that they might run a few weeks
and (hen break and be brought back
to him for repairs, when be would al
ways (charge double price for the
springt and double price for his work,
which prices were always paid cheer
fully because the extra amount seemed
a sort f guarntee that the work was
well dose. He also frequently filed a
toot) nearly off so that it would break
and a nw wheel have to be put in.
Sometimes he would use sticky oil that
would bring him a job of cleaning;
and occaiionally he would say to his
customer, on looking into the works,
that a pinion had broken, and though
he bnt cleaned the works, he would
charge for putting in' a new pinion.
He now perceived that every time he
had put dirt or bad oil into clock
works, o broken a tooth or pinion, an
equal amount of dirt or bad oil had
been inserted into his moral machine
ry, and tooth for tooth and pinion for
pinion had been broken there, end
consequently if matters continued long
thus, the whole machine would fall
down in a wreck, and people would
discever what had been going on la
secret But this was not the most
alarming; he saw a great wheel with
only one tooth leSt, On countrhg the
fractures ne round thai it bad once
contained four hundred and ninety
teeth. .
"Four hundred and ninety! four
hundred and ninety It four hundred
and ninety I! I" he ejaculated, in a be
wildered way, and grasping at a vague,
dreadful idea. "Why, that is seventy
times seven. And thore I have been
forgiven four hundred and eighty-nine
times, and there is no authority for
more than one mire chancel Besides
there are all the teeth gone but one,
and when that goes"
with a scream or fear be awoke.
His neck, was across the back of the
chair, and all the blood in bis body
seemed to have settled in the top of
his bead, lie discovered that be bad
been dreaming, but felt that be had
been warnod in a dream.
After breakfast next morning, which
was Saturday morning, he went hasti
ly to hunt up an elder of the church,
to whom he related his dream, and in
sisted that be must be wound up eve
ry Saturday morning, or he could not
run till Sunday. The elder pshawed
at such an absurd idea, put gate him
a good talking to, and that afternoon
he missed bis customary spree. After
that every Saturday morning he went
to an elder and got wonnd up. This
continued about a year, when one Sat
urday morning be ceuld And neither
elder nor minister. All had gone off
to a meeting of the synod. He was in
great distress. That afternoon ha got
drunk, went home cursing and swear
ing, broke three chairs and all tbe
china, turned his wife out of doors,
locked the door, and went to bed with
his boots on. The police did not take
him that time, but he remained at
home. HU wife, who knew and pitied
his faUities, crept back, through a win
dow after he was asleep, and lying
down beside him, slept till her usual
time for arising and going about her
morning duties.
At six o'clock, when she went to
wind him up for breakfast she found
he had run down forever. His heart
bad oeased to tick. Neighbors were
called in. He was cleansed for the
last time, and laid away on the shelf,
till tbe judgment day, when be will
have to meet all tbe lame cog . wheels,
marred springs, solemn faced pendu
lams, and the faces, hands and figures
he forced to lie so sinfully during bis
lifetime.
A monument was erected ever him
in the form of a clock, with hands
shaped like human hands the hour
hand pointing to six, and the minute
band at twelve, to preserve the time
mm.
$2 PER ANUM.
of his death, and also by a happy co
incidence, to indicate the doubt his
friends were in as to what had become
of him. If one hand misted the other
would hit.
HB WANTED TO SB SOOTHED.'
A man with an ugly light in his
eyes entered a saloon on Tiilary street
yesterday. The bartender slid behind
the counter and smiled at prospective
profits, but the stranger waved his
hands and said: ' '
"I want none of your rile decoc
tions. Mix me something to soothe
my raging tbJuglila?"
"Uin and sugar r said the barten
der.
"Do you want to make a rasing
volcano of me ?" exclaimed the stran
ger. "1 want something as soothing
to my tumultous thoughts as the
mother's lullaby song to a wearv
child." '
"Take a milk punch T"
"I want to be soothed. 1 tell you 7"
whooped the man.
"lace a lom and Jerry 7
"Would a Tom and Jerry drive
these wild raving thoughts away 7"
"1 think it would " replied tbe bar
tender, and he mixed one. He made
it unusually good, and the man sipped
it with great satisfaction and exclaim
ed: "Ah I that soothes me that does
me good that turns my raging
thoughts into dreams of'ecstatio
blissl"
As he wiped his mouth on the back
of his hand the bartender said:
"Change, please."
"Yes, that has changed me." was
tbe reply.
"1 want fifteen cents, if you please,
for that Tom and Jerry."
''Look out, sir I I am sooths, now,
and don't get me raging again 1"
"Rage be hanged I I want pay for
that drink 1"
"Look ont for the reaction 1" warned
the man. "I am calm and peaceful
now, and I hope you won't bring back
those terrible, fiendish thoughts which
burned in my heart as molten lava
slips down the rugged sides of Mount
Vesuvius I"
"You pay foi that drink I"
''Now I rage again 1" yelled the
man. "Now the soothing influence
has passed away. Nothing on earth
can calm me again 1"
He hit the bartender between the
eyes, tore dwn the stove, and would
have made a, sad wreck of things if
the police hadn't stopped him. He
was then taken to the station and
locked up. After some three hours
he called out :
"I am soothed I am calm again."
But they didn't let him out.
YOUNG BBNXETT'8 ENGAGEMENT.
The latest story about Jim Bennett
engagement, to Miss May, and the
postponement or their marriage is as
follows : Mr. Bennett gave a dinner
party at his house on Eifth avenue,
some weeks ago, at which several la
dies, including Hiss Alsy, were present
Mr. Bennett got very lively toward
eveoing, and, the dinner being over,
asked all the ladies to step down into
tbe billiard room, when be would show
them something they bad never seen
before. All went down, and having,
in obenience to Mr. Bennett's request,
got up on tbe billiard-table, were sud
donly started by the entrance of two
game-cocks, which, amid the shrieks
of the ladies, who did not dare to get
off the table, set to fighting in dead
earnest The ladies screamed. Mr.
Bennett laughed, and the cocks fought
uutil, torn and bleeding, they were
carried out. and the ladies were free
to descend from their perch. Report
says that Miss May was so disgusted
at tbe behavior of ber intended bus
band that she was on the point of
breaking her engagement, but finally
it was agreed that the wedding should
be postponed for six months, to give
him a chance to repent, and if Mr. B.
is not ob his good behavior during that
time, the probability is that be will be
able to add oho more to the already
large list of bis broken engagements.
Sprwgfield Jiepwluxin.
It is related by Sydney Smith that
en one occasion, on entering a draw-
ins- room in a West J'.ud mansion, be
found it lined with mirrors) on all
aides. Finding himself reflected in
every direction, he said that ha "sup
posed he was at a meeting oi tin
clergy, aud there seemed to be a veiy
respectable attendance.
At this season the question which
interests a boy ia not so much whether
his lire will be crowned with giory
and honor as whether his new Sum
mer's vest is going to be made out of
his father's old troasera.
The largest feet known to history
must be those of the Maryland editor
who writes: "We black our boots with
15,000,000 boxes of domestic blacking
a year."
Ratos of Advertising.
Ope Squared Inrti,) one Inertlon - l BO
(inn M. 1 1 1 . r. O nna mtit I An
One Square
three month . )
"ne (square one year
10 00
Two Hqnaren, one year - U On
Quarter Col. . . . . no 00
Half . - . . no 00
One . " . , . ipo 00
ICKal notices at entabllxhed raUw.
Marrinse and death notices, gratis.
All bills for yearly advertisements col
lected quarterly. Temporary advertise
ments mnst be paid ftr fn advance.
Job work, Cah on Delivery.
A London letter contains this r
Now and then one sees in London K
young girl extraordinarily pretty and
fresh : but of the 6ld ladies not One
have I seen to compare with those
beautiful old women of America, who
wear their years, like so many added
charms, whose silver hair shines like
a glory around gentle faces that yearr
and sorrow, perhaps, have refined and
spiritualised to a beautv beyond the
rounded outlines of youth."
Three or four Detroit girl feft (htf
other day discussing the character and
standing of a certain yonng mn, and
an old lady was a close listener. One
of the girls finally remarked t "Well,'
I guess he's rich, for I saw him' Com
ing out of a bank the other day."'
"And I guess he drives a street car,"
put in the old lady, "for I saw him
jump off a car one day last week."
Simpkins rang the servant's belt
Violently a ffeW (ironings sin.. anrt
called Bridget to explain why the hot
water for shaving had not been
brought early, as ho had ordered,
"Shure, sir, didn't I bring it up aad
lave it at the door last night, so that
you could have it in good time.'
Simpkins did not talk back, but took
a cold water shave that morning.
A caso of general average: ''Aren't
you rather old to ride for half-price 7'
said a cer conductor to the elder of
two boys. "Well," remarked the
youth, "I am nnder fourteen, and the -bey
with me is under six. That don't
make twenty, and you will take two1
boys under ten for half-priee each."
Aud he took them.
When the Hon. S. S Cox was look'
ng at the great Corliss engine at the
Centennial last week, he asked the
guard standing near what horse power
tbe engine bad 7 the reply came, with
an amazed look I "Why, you d d
tool, you ) it don't run by horses ; they
use steam." - .
A Wisconsin editor illustrates the'
prevailing extravagance of the people
of the present day by calling atten
tion to the costly baby carriages in
use now, while, when he was a baby,
they hauled him around by the hair
of the head.
He was too solemn a preacher ; he
didn't suit le Nevada. The chairman
of the farewell committee pressed it
well ; said he : "Now you can git,
pard : we ain't agin religion out here.
and it riles us to sea a feller spilin' it.
Git"
"Why is it, my dear sir," said
Waffles1 landlady to him the other
day, "that yon newspaper men never
get rich 7" "I do not know," was Lis
reply, "except it is that dollars and
sense do not always travel together."
Any excuse better than none. A
toper says he would be a temperance
man in a minute if It wasn t tor bis
wife. He knows she'd be lonesome if
she hadn't something to jaw about
and find fault with.
Norwich Bvlltein: An indignant
correspondent wanta to know which is
tbe worse, a highwayman, or a grocer,
who gives false measure. We should
say it was about tbe same both or
them lie in weight. .
When a California woman defeated
a lion in a hand to-hand combat, the
neighbors were greatly astonished, but
ber husband quietly remarked: "Oh,
thats nothing: that woman could
lick the devil."
"Have you seen my black-faced
antelope 7 inquired Mr. Leoscope,
who had a collection of animals, of
his friend Bottlejack. "No, I haven't
Whom did your black-raced aunt
elope with 7" - ,
The iron prow of the old steamer
New Jersey, the first and snsallesb,
steamer that ever croossod the Atlan
tic, is in South Am boy, N. J., and
will be exhibited at the Centennial.
"I narrowly escaped being out off
with a shilling," said a solemn young
man. "How did you escape itr
asked a bystander. "My father bad
no shilling." was the Solemn reply.
"Brother, why don't you ask the
stranger to pray 7" "Because," reprov
ingly replied a deacon, "this am t no
place for practical jokes. That, man 'a
the I resident of a gas company.'
Let ns carefully observe those good
quaiites wherein our enemies excel
us ; and endeavor to excel them by
avoiding what is faulty, and imitat
ing what is excellent in thenr.
A Milwaukee man went to a meet
ing in London one evening, aud when
the cockneys said, "'ear, 'ear," he
took it for a persoual allusion, and got
out
A kiss tn the forehead means rever
ence ; but there's no fun in it worth
mentioning. . ' "
Silver is flat iu Clio Loudon market.
It has just couiiueuced to get 'round
here.
Jev Jersey.