The late Roy. Daniel Isaac wag
both a great wag and a great omnker.
"Ha! thor you are," cried lady,
who surprised him one day with a
pipe in his month, "at your idol
agaiol" "Ye, ma'am," replied be,
cooly, "burning it."
Why should the beehive be laVen an
a symbol of industry f Not a beo
is to bo Been all the winter long,
while lite cockroach is up at five
o'clock in the morning, and never goes
to bed till midnight Let's change
this thing. j
A Scottish student, supposed to be
deficient in judgment, was asked
by a professor, in the coarse of his ex
amination, how he would discover a
fool. "By the questions he would
ask," was the prompt and suggestive
reply. !
They sav Mark Twain is to run for
Mayor of Hartford. Hope he will be
elected. Imagine his issucing an In
augural in which the Board of Streots
Commissioners are referred to as
"baldhoaded reptiles."
At a medical examination a young
aspirant for a physician's diploma was
asked "When does mortification en
sue?" "When you propose and are re
jected," was the reply that greeted the
amazed questioner.
A waggish speculator recently said :
"Five years ago I was not worth a
penny in the world; tiow see where I
am through my own exertions."
"Well, whero are you?" "Why a
thousand dollars in debt."
A Hartford man wants to sell a
larm in which "meandering streams
and rivulets permeate luxuriant pas
ture, while mnjestio oaks and stately
maples attract tho eye of the behold
er.'' Who bids T
Tbe majority of pins fonnd in the
weepings from the Dresden Uniou
School house are bent in a pecular
fashion, suggesting a sudden asceat
tion seats.
A white boy, upon meeting a col
ored boy, asked him what he had so
short a nose for. upon which the dar
key replied : ' I 'sped it's so I won't
be poking my nose into other people's
Business.
A sweet little boy, only eight years
bless his little heart walked into
a scene of a teachers' examination, at
. Oswego, last week and bawled out,
"Annie, your fellow is down to the
uouse i
"Exploring waist places," said John
Henry, as no put his arm around the
pretty chambermaid. "Navigation of
toe air, sua Airs. Henry, overhear
ing him, and .sailing into his raven
curls.
Macbeth, have each their swarms of
fit thoughts and images, as if Shaks
peare had kpown and reported the
men, instead of inventing them at his
aesK.
Mrs. Mitchell and her daughter ore
conduction a revival in Montreal
The girl is about twenty years old,
and the newspapers of that city av
that manv of the converts are vnnncr
. o
men.
A gentleman rode op to a public
Jiouse in the country and asked;
"Who is the master of this house?" "I
am, sir," replied the landlord ; "ra
wife has been dead about three weeks.
Ie smarts not under poverty who
has learned to be content, he frets not
under affliction who u submissive to
the Father's will, and lays aside his
own. Keep your desires within bounds.
Speech of an accused man in i
court at Boston last reeks "Gentle
men of the ury, I never stole any
junK in my lire, mat isn t my lice,
xne dry goods business is ray .line.
A stump speaker, in dealing with
the "modern physical degeneracy of
women, exclaimed : "We must take
jjood care of our grandmothers, for
we snau never get any more I
"Now, George Washington, vou ies'
cum an' put on your shoes dis' minit.
De idea of you bein out doors bare
feot on de Lord's Day I Why, folks
will think you re Irish I '
No Chiuese bank has failed for five
hundred years. When the last failure
took place the officers' heads were cut
off and flung in the corner with the
other aeiete.
The Oakland, California. Gas Com
pany has been petitioned to paint the
street lamp posts white, so tbey may
do iouna readily on dark nights.
"Yes, I wan( my daughter to study
rhetoric, said a Vermont mother
"for she can't fry pancake now with
out smoking tUa houm ail up."
The editor who was told that bis
last article was as clear as mud
promptly replied, "Well, that covers
the ground any how.
The extreme height of misery is a
small boy with a new pair of rubber
poets and no niuu or slush iu recb.
It Is a thin excuse for a young lady
to lie abed until uioe o'clock in the
morning because Una is sluep year.
What is the difference between a
bill and a pill f One is hard to get up
j .u. .i : i i . i .i
jjuu ilia uiucr ia unru ujj;iuum.
"The rich," said a Dutchman, "eat
venison because it ish deer. 1 eat tmit
ton because it i&h bhecp."
JOB WORK
DONE AT TUB
'REPUBLICAN" OFFICE
At the lowest oath price, neatly, prompt,
ly, and in ttyU equal to that of any
other establishment in the District.
BUSINESS CARDS,
SHOW CARDS,
VISITING CARbfc.,
SCHOOL CARDS
WEDDING CARDS,
PROGRAMMES,
INVITATIONS,
BALL TICKETS,
ADMISSION TICKETS,
MOXTIIXY STATEMENTS,
ENVELOPES
BILL HEADS,
LETTER HEADS, -NOTE
HEADS,
CIRCULARS,
. BLANKS,
POSTERS.
DODGERS,
HANDBILLS,
LABELS,
SHIPPING TAGS, Ac.
STANDARD
Fire and Burglar .
Counter, Platform, Wagon & Track
SCAIiEia
0ea for Prlce-LUU Areata Wanted,
Marvin's Safe Co.,
265 Broadway, New York,
721. Chestnut St, Phlla.
PENNSYLVANIA CEN
TRAL RAILROAD
ON AND AFTElt 11 P. P. Sunday May
1. 1870. Train arrive at ami leave tlio
Union l)ciot, oorner of Washlnlon and
Lducrty street, as follows ;
Aiiiuvr:.
Mnil Train, 1.30 a m : Font Una, 12.U a
m I Well's accommodation No. I, 6.20 a m '
Hrlnton accommodation No 1. 7.50 a in:
cinnati express 9.20 a m Johnstown ao
commodiition 10.50 a in ; liraddock's ae
conitnodtitinn No 1, 7.00 p in t Plttsbnrfrh
express i.jhi p mi racinc express i.ao p in j
nuns accommodation io n, p mj
Homewood accommodation No 1, 9.6o p in;
Wall accommodation No 1, 6.50 p m;
Krinton accommodation No 2, 1.10 p mj
Way 1'assongcr 10.1!0 p m.
DEPART.
Southern express 5.20 a m i Fai'Mc ex-
rress 2.40 a m ; Wall's accommodation No
, B.SOa m ; Mnil Train 8.10 a in ! Hrinton's
accommodation U.20a m: Uraddm-k's ac
commodation No 1, 5.10 p in ; Cinrtnnsti
express 12..15 p mj Wall'a accommodation
:m a, 11.61 am ; Johnstown accommodation
4.05 pin; Homewood accommodation No
1, 8.50 p in; I'lnlndelphia express 3.50 p mj
Wall accommodation NoS.3.05n m: Wall's
accommodation No 4, 8.05 p in ; Kast Line
7.40 p m; wall Kos, 11.00 p in.
The Church Trnlns leave Wall's Station
every Sunday at 0.05 a. in., reaehinir Pitts
burgh at 10.05a. in. Returning leave Pitts
burgh at 12.50 p. m., and arrive, at Wall's
station at z.to p. m.
Cinetnnnt! express leaves dMlv. South'
em express daily except Monday. All oth
er Trains daily, except Sunday.
tror ruruior information aply to
V. II. RECKWITH. Aitent.
The Pennsylvania Railroad Company
will not nsHiime any tusk for jtasiriifre ex
cept for Wearing Apiwrel. and limit thoir
rsjonsit)ilitv to One Hundred Uollai s val
no. All Imjrifajre exceeding that a omit
in value will le at the risk of tne (ncr,
unless uuton oy spetuai contrail.
A. J. CAShAl
Qeneral Superintendent, Altoona Pa.
PITTSDUEOII, PuV.
The followinfr llt ntnlil-aMW nnlv a r,a,-t
of our immeiiHO stock :
Muzzle-Ijoadtngr Rifles, full orhairstock
at $12, ?15, 20, and tS.
Double Barrel Rifles, f-JO to 50.
Double Rifles and Shot Guns, either over
and under, omido by aide.and at allprices
from f 0 to f.-,o.
Single-Barrel Shot Ouns, (r mon or
hoys: cheap safe and durable. All prices
$3.50 to 25 eauh.
Double Barrel Shot Guns.
Our fifty different sfvles. made nt Trnn
London Twist, Laminated Htecl or Danias
eus Harrels, finished in the btwt and latest
stj-le. all sizes, for men and bovs, at prim-s
ramrirg from (S, flO, fl5, $20 $25, :, f40,
PI8TOLS,
in varioty from $1.00 to $8.00.
IIEVOLVEJRS,
4, 5, 9, or 7 shooters, of cvory kind, at all
prices from $0.00 to 825.00. -
BREECH-LOADING RIFLES.
wincnester improved is shooter. Best
long range gun iu the world. Price only
$45.
Sharp's Celebrated Ureoch-Loadlng Ri
fles only $10 each.
RemiiiKton Breech-Loading Rides at
loext factory prices.
Wlesson's and Stephen's Pocket Rifles,
uslnij inotal cartridiros, at 12, $15 and $18.
Breech-Loading Shot Guns.
The Dexter Single Barrel Breech Load-
IngHhot Gun, UHinirBrassshclls price $20.
StenhfliiH R. T,. Kint.lA rim. am
Doulile Barrel Breech Loader.of Moore's
Dean's Woodhill's, Ciroenen's, Richards',
Scoot's and other tine makos, at all prices,
muui n w iMAT rill il.
Sendor Price List to
J. II. JOILYSTON,
GREAT WESTERN GUN WORKS,
285 LIBERTY STREET,
PITTSBUliail.
and statt. that saw this advertiaemont in
Tub Forest Kkpcklk an.
Take Notk-k I will buy or trado for
Army KiiloB, Carbines. Revolvers, Jcc. For
. Orders by mail receive prompt attention.
Goods sont by express to any point C. O.
D., to be examined before paid for, when
Yoif C'nn Hmve 9Iouey
By buying your PIANOS and ORdANS
irom tue undersigned Manufacturers'
Agent, foi the liest brands In tha n
IiibtruuionU shipped diret;t from the Fac
tory. ttiAs. a, Nuuiix, runer,
ly Lock lox 17 W, Oil City, Pa.
Immense deduction
A.t the Wholesale and Retail
S. HAMILTON &X-0., 77 5T
far? .y x-:-, :;r;
Vi .i:-. .'oVvt- -i.-n'-rj. ..?: i'.;
OUR MOTTO IS AND HAS BEEN
QUICK SALES AND SMALL PROFITS.
wlwllUVi-TS"! f xt;Vsl Yl-v PIANOS and ORGANS, which enables us t ttlvoT.ur
flvel, tn J,?r.tJ,r.,.,iL"l1 1 !' flVive ,rm,P', T1,,,!4 w,lcro ''crMelor I1 from
.1 . ..v. , ,,. ui very oivcn exceed inoso uumiers In a sinilo
;ndrwntaUeto"tWrorwnUi.w.eitoii cost, than they can it
us'lICorihl'v L1,' !Tm iW '"V " ?"
us iaoially to all who see them. Wo have
5,000 OP
IU J1.".! ",!n.t pl,H1b"r alono- They are not some new Onrnn, the irowth of a few
months, but .re old reliable makes, thai are constantly addinu every inWitirloi Ini-
lL hLSl t tor lwo,,,v-"v-V'". while the Cclebratetl Tavlor A Varley Celeste.
Iih TiU,PrU I,,B,'ufm,,,"r1 0,:w Twenty years. A nd now for the purple of ln
KmiuWC more thorjniKliljr throughout 1l the country f.wn. of 'the Ktate, we
nin i7. - i .... .iw, 1 w'Hwwwiiir lare numners ortliem, which pro
pose to sell on their ineritH, and without thoMtsiHtunenor AGKNTS OR MIDDLU M KN
mu.lZ If, SrSr" ' !io,m and wholesale discounts, wo are thu.
eniiblod to oiler these Orgaus ut tho following prices, al whi. h.wo shall sell for a short
Mme.
CABINET C iSES
Double Reed, 4 Stop Organs Regular '"Price, '9145.00 at $ S5.00
5 " " 155.00 at 00.00
6 IGo.OOat 05.00
FULL RESONANT CASES,
Double Reed, 4 Stop Organs, Regular Price, $165.00 at 05.00
5 " " 175.00 at 100.00
" 6 " " lS5.00at 105.00
22 sets Reeds 6 "Vox Humana" 215.00 at 125.00
3 " 8 " Viola . " 275.00 at 100.00
Tliose Orpins ar. all Solid Walnut, ranellnpr and Carving all orSolid Walnut Nei
ther saw-misi mouldms non-heap brass trinkets ore usetl on those instrumonts over v
thina is of tho very best, and are all fully warranted for live j ears. l"lu"u,0r
TflE BUADDUnY 3t DECKER JPIAWOa
WILL BE SOLD AT THE SAME RATES OF DISCOUNT.
The nlmve are strictly cash prit-es but lfdoslred by the purchaser, either quarterly
or scnii.annual payments wilf be Uikon at an advance of 10 per cent. 'per "aniMu"" i t
alx.ve pr.ecs Persons ordering by letter ,-an depend on the mntt earet, " si 'to " i bo
"K V the cosh price be sent Willi the order, the iiiHtium,.nt will be ship ,hI bv
treiKht if not accompanied with thoeiuh, the Oru, will bo shipped ry Kxpreis C O
D. It uine bo desired, wo rerjutre notes with good socurity, or ut least Kod roferVn.'
Address for Catalogue, and state where you read this notice.
feul7 14m
OAEPETS!
CARPET HOUSE. IVSEADVILLE, PA.f
SHRYOCK & DELAMATER
Wholesale and Retail Dealer, iu
Foreign & American Carpetings,
flattings, Oil Cloths, "Window Shades, Iaco
Curtains, Lamhrequins, &c.
&PKCIAL COXTH.ICTS MA DK .V fVR.lSlHKO
CHURCHES, HOTELS, AND PUBLIC BUILDINGS.
SHRYOCK & DELAIMATER,
Mammoth Carpet and House Furnishing Establishment,
23tf
$3 SAMPLE FB.EES.WmM
everywhere. Address The Union i'ub.
Co., Newark, N. J. -i 4t
Tte Republican Office
TEEPS eonstantlv on hand a larjre as
I. sortuientof blank Deeds, Mortgage
Subpeeuas, Warrants, Summons, Am. to
be solii r.huup lor cusb
to Suit Ihc Times! I
Piano and Organ1 Emporium'of
AVE., PITTSBUJiUlf, PA
Pnt r,,r as lpy invariably Introduce
sold and in uso
QTiG&tt&
S. HAMILTON & CO.,
il fifth .liviiiif, VittHburah, l'a.
DOUBLE YOUR TRADE.
Druggists, Grocers and Dealers! Pure
China uud Jupau Teas in sealed packages
screw top cans, boxes or hair chcsts-l
tirowers' prices. ISond lor circular. 'J'lie
Wells Tea Company, 1-01 l ulton St.. N
Y., P. O. Dox 4(iu. 'jH it
r!.l? ?V.IU,lra,,:r e-twutod at the UK-
CLOTHING!
ncNt Cloni! i '
ItcNt Mnket
The ipicstlon In Ihexo hard tlmris la nl
only "What almil we vlo lor artib to entf'
but '
""VVIIK I tV.Wl TI iX't '
SHALL WE BE CLOTHED r
It Is n noloiioun ftxct Hint In limit towns
and cities round about ns, clothing msds
to order t not sold In arciirrtnm-o to ths
depreciation of ether necessaries of lira.
There is, however, nil honerahte tioep
tion to this rule in tho person or
X. WfifJ.', Merchant jailor,
TIDIOUTE, rA.,V
Who mskes rMthltiR of the very best kind,
(its guaranteed, Irom .''.
25 to 30 Per Cent. Below
the prices of othor dealers lu this narl
the country. t ,
WHY IS THIS THUS?:'
Because 1st, M r. Wise pays no larfrn 1 flf'.
urea lor rent, as ho nwns'tha huihlTiiK h
MTup!e. lid, ho dooMft pnT a cutter
f-VK) to f MHH) a year, but does tils own cnti
tiuir, ami is not excelled In this line it
Western Pcnnxylvunin. 3d, ho buys
cloths tor cash, thus irct!ln;r a reduction on
ordinary rates. 4th he sells for eabh, and
thus hns no bsd debts to make up.
Tho lure is from this place to Tld
louto, nnl nt the present time, yon inn (to
up In tho morning and hack at S::u, iav
Inn three hours iu Tidioute to select your
UkvIm and leave your orders.
(Ivo hi in a trial, and you will not only
save money, but will rel perfect tits, and
any atyle or quality of clft h you wntt
ltcincmbcrjhe name and pli-e,
7 1y N. WISH, Tldiwute, Pa.
WATERS CONCERTO S ORCHESTRAL
ORcaNS'"'" most Denntifiti a.
rir orvl. 7 At (-oft
I ItTO OR'II:N
TUII.H'IOISnurbmt
vtr fBluevd In Knf on
esr set roeilft. nrtm
1 rullnrlf volreil.'k- f.fm
lU T of irk, it SION'r
t it ltlliasdiOI I
Ml ! Ill ;,MAf 111.
i rrvrii)ittin mi
MlirRliXlTKUIt. I ! Oria.i
an Ik. kesl mods is it I i- t"-o .via
WATERS"
NEW SCALE
PIANOS.
sMta:rt
frmt pi
nd fl
Inaina- Uu.,
w all m r.n lmrartmi.
n4 mr. Uu lest llatno sisd.. TIltM
OrsKBa.iul rinn.t an wamiiiMltr,
yvasrs Brlcrs 'ixlr.rn.lr ! w fm'
tub mr piurt malt, asU kslssct 4m
Mttnlltly m aitnrlffrl f nsi mvala, -canailaaiaiai
lnnirunwtits lakii a. -
IChSBgA UIIKA-I' inuiiok.
ni:ni .iiiihadi;. kikiiti
Uift lin'iv.rr lllrar.aalr
I. i. M. mtt 4'Maula. A Imrgm mtmm
mmm m t to ria.i, uwi, " sn-Aai ,-cWi Lata,
m, at. 11.1 1 STHATHt CAT l.l ti I US MAIUtOL
NOHAtK WITHHI BUN,
41 Brwulwa ssd H Meroar IH K.1 '
Testimonials of Waters' Pianos an
Organs. ,
"Waters' Concerto Parlor Oran pna
sesses a beautilil and peculiarly soil tone.
The Concerto Stop Is, without .doubt, the
host ever placed In any orpnn. It Is pro
duced by an extra set of roeds, peculiarly
voiced, from which tho ollect Is moat
clisrinliijr, and Its Imitation or the human,
voice is superb. For sweetness of ton
nd orchestral cllects it has no equal."
AT. Y. Time.
' The Concerto l'arlor Onran-!' aonia
thliitf entirely now ; it ls'a beautiful parlor
ornament, jiossc-wes a swrst and power
ful tono is a most commandable inven
tion Mini holds a hi:h placo In public, fa
vor." .AT. Y. J-.veHiiiij liit. . .
AN OncitENTIlA in THU Parloh. The
orchestral oriui ia tho name of anew reed
orpin recently announced by Horace Wa
ters S.n. 'The instrument take this
name from its recently invented orches
tral stap. The voicing of this is peculiar,
producing the ellect 1 a full sweet eon.
trslto voice. Its llnest etroct Is nrodutu-d
when the stops are drawn, ao thiu an r
eheMtral ellect is riven, The ease is unique
and makes a handsome article of furul
tuie.' -V. 1". i4it. , .
The Waters Planoa are known as antou
the very best. We are onabled to speak of
those Instruments with confidence, from
lersoual knowledge. AT. Y. AVasruf.
2-1 v
Dr. J. Walker's California Viu
Ogar Hitters nro a purely Vesctable
preparation, iuade cliiolly from tho na?
tivo hoi be found ou tho lower nnpres of
tl:e Sierra Nevada mountains of Califor
nia, tlio medicinal proicrties of which
mo extracted thoicfioiu wlihout the uko
of Alcohol. Tho question la n!!nK'
daily riskod, "What is the cause of th
uniiarnllcled success of Vixf.qak Bit-.
TKitsf" Our answer ia, that llicy rumor,
tho causo of disoaao, and the patient re
covers bis health. They are the ureal
blood nunticrnnd a lilo-giving principlo,
a perfect Henovator and Invlgorator.
of tho system. Never beforo in the
history of tlio world has a iiicuicino boon
compounded possessing tho rciimrkabl
qualitioa of Vinkoau lin-rKKH in hosliug the
ick of every disease man it licir to. Thoy
are s pernio l'urirative a well n a Tuuio.
relieving Cuii:osiioii or Iuflaiuniatinn of
the Liver rod Visceml Oiguns iu Iiilious
llsen6Cs
The iroiPrtIos (A Djt. Wai.kek'h
T.IXKUAU liirrKM are Aperient. 'Diaphoretic.
Carminative, Nutritious. Laxative, lliuroiic'
SeJative. Counter lriitaut buJoiilic, Altera
tive, and Anti-liilious.
II. II. Mr DONALD H CO.. '
Unwirtiiti nji.i Qmi. kgit.. Rjin KraiH-i.-.i. C'ollfnml
sui uut. . ut Wun.'.iitoa and CliailKin Sla.. N. V.
Sold bv il 1 1 I In. i. . I . I
Al'V ICHTISKHS send 25 epnts to Oo.
P. Howell d: Co., 41 1'urk How, N. ..
tor tucir Klrhtv-pU';o I'limidilet, showing
ii't ol lulverishm, i,s .j
ft.:r,?-.-i
mm