r
1
IS M'DLwrtEU BVERY WKDJtKfiDAT, BT
' W.'IZ. DUNN, y
rpios nt aoBtirsoK 4 bohkt;r'8 botldiho,
ELM 8TBBCT, TIQ8E8TA, PA.
TKUMS, 13.00 A YKAU.
y )ubcrlptlons recnlvod for a shorter
srlod than three month.
Correspondence solicited from nil part
f the country. No notice will lie taken of
annonymous communication.
BUSINESS DIRECTORY.
TIONESTA LODGE
Ao.
O. of O. F.
MKRTS every 'Fridav ernnlnft, at 7
o'slocV, In the Hall formerly occupied
by thctlnod Templar.
J.T.MLE.K.n,
U. T. LATIMKR. Rco'v. 27-tf.
TIONESTA COUNCIL, N0.-342,
O. XJ. -A.. M.
MEETS at Odd Folluwi' Lodtjo Room,
every Tuesday evenlni, at 7 o'clock.
J.T. DALK, C.
T.M.CLARK, It. 8. , 31.
Dr. J. E. Blalrvd
OVTtCK ami rcsidem-o opposite the
Uwrtmw House. Office days Wednes
days and Huturdaye, 50-tf.
' E. L. Davis,
ATTORNEY AT I, AW, TloneHta, Pa.
Collections made In tht and adjoin
ing counties. 40-ly
MIIiKH W. TATE,
.7 ' ATTORNEY AT LAW,
Jllm rr, '. ' . TIOXKSTA, PA.
-r. W.Hays,
ATTORNEY AT I.iff, end Xotart
Foblio, Remolds Hulcill A Co.'s
Bleek, aeaeoa SU, Oil City, Pa. W-ly
r. uaAi. l. a. bmilbt.
MEfXBAB 4) S.WILEY,
AMerosys at Law, - Franklin, Pa.
PRACTIC1C In tha several Coarta of Ve
uufo, Crawford, Forest, and adoin
naauox. SV-ly.
. CEHTfAL HOUSE,
BONKKR A AUNKW RLOCK. I
Aaxw, Proprietor. Thia la a new
' aoase, and hatjunt hsen ntted up for tba
eoomiuodatiou of the public A portion
f tha patronage of tha public is aoliclted.
iy ;
Lawren.ce , Housa,
TIOTr.STA, PA.. WILLIAM LAW
RKSCK, Phopkikvor. This knu.-
U eentrallr located. Kvar.ythliiK new and
wall faraLhed Superior acooramoda
flows and strict attention given to prtiexts.
- Testable and Fruit of all kind rvd
. ta ilieir season. Sample room for Coni
aaereial Agants. . -
.. FOUEST HOUSE, i
SA. VARNKR PnorniKroa. Opposite
Oenrt lion, Tionesta, Pa. Just
asaed. Everything new and clean and
freak. The bait f liquor kept constantly
M liana. A portion of the public patron
age U respectfully solicited, 4-17-ly
Tionesta House.
M ITTKL, Proprietor, Kim St. Tie-
aesta. Ta., at tba mouth of the crook,
Mr. Itlel ha thoroughly renovated the
Tleaavta House, and re-furnibed it com
pletely. All who patronine him will be
well entertained at reasonable rates. S7 ly
Enapire Hotel.
rnoUTE. PA. II. KWAL1,Propris
Toa. This bonne is centrally located,
kaa been thorouichly rellited 'and now
oast as (rood a table anil bed a an v Ho
Sel in the oil retrlons. Transient oiiljp f&OO
anirday. - i-am
C. Q. Weber's Hotel,
TtLf.ksbuhii,pa. r. b.wf.ber.
has poHaesaion of the new brick hotel
and will be hanpy to entertain all his old
customer, and anr number of new ones.
Mood acoouimoiUulouw for guttata, and
ellnt tablinjr. 10-Jini.
Dr. J. L. Acorrtb,
PHTRiriAN AND SUROKOX, who lias
had tiftoen years' oxperiencoiu a larpe
and auocefu( practice, will attond all
rrofeaninnal Call. Omc-e In hi Drui; and
Grocery Store, located iu Tldioate, near
Tiilioute Uouse. -
IN HIS STORK WILL BE FOUXD
A full assortment of Medicine, Llquora
Tohaeco, t'iirar, SUtionery, Ola, Paint,
this. Cutlery, all of the tioal quality, and
will bo aold'at reasonable rate. -DR.
CUAS. O. DAY, kn experienced
. rhyioiati and DrnmW from New York,
haa rliare of the fi:re. All prescriptions
put up accurately.
rxo. r. rm.
a. a iiut.
MAY, PARK it CO,,
Corner of Elm A Walnut Sta. Tloneata.
Dank of Disooant and Dcp'Mit.
Interest allowed on Tim Deposit.
eUeeionimedonaU tharrineipal points
of the U.S.
Collections solicited.
l-ly.
c'Vt
D.W.CLARK,
f;oMamioxu'a clkkk, roncsT co., pa.)
MEAL ESTATE AG EXT.
HOt'SES and Lota for Sal and RENrp
Wild I jmds for Sale. 1
J Iia ve superior facilities for ascertaining
ttie uondiUtm of taxos and tax doeda, Ac,
ad am therefore qualified to act intelli
aeully as agent of those living at a dis
tance, ownUiir lands In tha Coauty.
Odlo iu CoraTaiftsioiiers Uoom, Court
nous, Tioneata, Pa.
4l-ly. D.W.CLARK.,
NEW BILLIARD ROOMS!
VDJOININO the TionoKta llotiso, at the
uioutu of Tionosta Creek. The tablca
aud room sie nw, and everything kept iu
frdor. To lovers of the h-min a cordial
inviwliiMi in extended to come and play
in Mm in " riom. , ,
r,a; m M. ITT El.. Pf't.ri.lor.
VOL. VII. NO. 46.
Itctstaurnnt, ;
ST. JOHNSTON ha opened a ren-
rant in the Davis Ruilding, hutween
MHliio'ehnuxeand the Vulveraajlst church.
Oystors nerved up In all atylc. or for ale
by the can. Confoution, i'ifinra, ' Tobacco
Ac., for stiin. A xhare of thn ptiblic Jat
ronam ia solicited. , ... )tf . '
BLACKSMITH AND mm SHOf,
THE nndcrHigned have npmiod a flrnt
clan III n. k hiii itli and Wagon Hhop, in
the Hobortn nhop. opoite the Rural
Houxe. All work In either lino promptly
attended to, and satisfaction guaranteed.
IIox-ief.'ailooiup a Hpoclnity
22 ly U SPEARS A U. W. ROBERTS.
NEW IIARNESSiSnOP.
JUST op-ned In the Robert Duililingop
poNitethe Rural Iloiute. The undor
Hignetl is prepared U do all kind of work
Iu hia lino iu the best stylo aud ou abort
uotioe. t
If E W;11 1RNE18 '
A Specialty. Keep on hand a fine axaort
mcnt of Currv 4'omlsi, HruHbra, Uarneas
Oil, Whips and Huddle. 11 unions of all
kind mads to order aud cheap as the
cheapet Rememlwr the name and plaue
W. WEST, RoberN Huilillng,
t2-ly' Opposite Rural House, Tinnesta.
H. O. nARLIN,
IVIe reliant Tailor,
IN Tim Lawrem-e Building, over Super
ior Luatber Co. Store. Tho best atock
kept constantly on hand, and made up in
til beat manner and newest styles. l'J-ly
IS KM. 91. IIUATII
DRESSMAKER, Tionesta, Pa.
MILS. IIEVTtt has recently moved to
this place lor the purpose of meeting
a want which tho ladies of the town and
county have for a long time known, that
of having a drnmakr of experience
among tli 'in. I am prepared to make all
kindaof dresses in the latest styles, and
r:uaranleeati!fcctinn. Stain ping for braid
ng and embroidery done in tho best maii
ner, with the newest patterns. All I aak
1 a tair rial. Residence on Water Street,
in the house formerly occupied by Jacob
Shrlver, :, . ,., 14tf
TIME TRIED' AND FIRE TESTED!
TBI ORMINAI.
ETNA INSURANCE COMPANY
OK HARTr-ORD, CONK.ip j
AS.SETS Dec. 81, 18rS,
85,7.'in,o5.yo. ,
MILES W. TATE, Sub Agent, i
T'oneata, Pa.
Fraak'Itobbliiai, '
PHOTOGRAPHER,
(si'CDBaSOR TO DEMIKO.)
Plot a re In every atyleof the art. View
of the oil regions for sale or taken to or
der. V . . t
CENTRE STREET, near R, R. crossing.
SYCAMORE STUEKTf, near Union De
pot, Oil City, Pa. 20-tf
PHOTOGRAPIl GALLERY.
ILK MTRBBT,
SOUTH OF ROBINSON A ROSSER'S
STORE.
' Tionesta, Pa.,
M, CARPENTER, - ... Proprietor.
v..fTf M
Plotnres taken in all tha latest styles
the art. ... w-tr
NEW JEWELRY STORE
; la TloMata,'
M. SMITH,
WATCHMAKER r JEWELER,
At SUPERIOR STORK
ALL WORK WARRANTED,
. " K 1
.. . '
A Large aud Superior Stock ft ,
Wsslohoai,
OlooU, '
" and .Xerlr y,
CONSTANTLY ON HAND.
TR. SMITH has An machinery for
111 making all parta of a watch or clock
that may bomissing or broken. He war
rants all hia work. The patronage of the
cliiseua of Forest County ia most res pent,
fully solicited. All he ask ia a lair trial.
. 4tf
I TOR WORK neatly eiecnted at tlie RE
i J ITIil.K 'AN omce.
TIONESTA, PA.,
, From one of Olive Harper's remi
niscer., in the St. Louis Globe,
clip the following po. nories:
in one of the mining camps of Cal
ifornia, in the good old dys, happen
ed on o comical incident, which was
not altogether a juke, at least to the
recipient. ' There was a hotel in this
camp, anj it was kept then, as now,
by the genial laudloril named Sperry.
There was a young Englishman very
ill at the hotel, of brain fever and
bperry look the best care of him. He
wus quite delirious and very ill alto
gether and the doctor had injoineil
upon Sperry that the medicine must
be given regularly or the patient
would succumb,
' There was one other odd character
Iu the same camp, ' who went bv the
pane of Colonel Lovelace, though
where he woo this title I do not know.
One night. he came-in, aud Mr.'
Sperry, being weary of watching, asked
Lovelace to sit tip, ' and at precisely
four o'clock give the sick man the
medicine. Sperry was ?ery sleepy,
but just before he went to bed, said:
Vou will be euro not ,td fail ?"
'Certain," said the colonel. I
("He is, delirious, and he will ell
you he is not ill, ant), doo't need the
medicine, and don't' waut it; but no
matter how he fights 'against'' it, you
must give it to bins, aud make bint
take it." , '. ' !
"Trust me," said the colonel ; and
so Mr. Sperry went off to bed, and
soon fell asleep certain - that the big
colonel would not forget. ...
t5non after he had gone, the colonel
turned to one of the men iu the bur
room and said . .
"There ! Sperry never told me where
that fellow is."
; Another man said : ' I .
i "He is in No. 4. It is that cranky
little Englishman that came up on the
stage to-night, with tho curly hair, the
bilod shirt aud stove-pipe hat." -
"Why, he must have been taken
very suddenly." ,'.-'
."Well, he was," said the man aud
he got up and went out.
At four o'clock Lovelace carefully
mixed up the dose in a spoon, with
mola'ses, and taking up the lamp in
one hand and the spoou in' the other,
went stumbling up stairs, waking half
the people in the house. He entered
the room which, he supposed, contain
ed the sick roan, and set the lamn
down ou the table, took a match from
hi pocket, and commenced stirring up
the medicine. . The young fellow who
had excited the envy of the roughly
dressed miners by hit stove-pipe hat
and faultless attire and curly hair,
awoke, seeing the light and a burly
man standing over him thus tn the
middle of the night, and naturally a
little uueaey, he raised up iu bed
saying: "
"Now, then, who are you? and
what do you waut here?"
' "Be quiet," said the colonel, in his
very gent leat accents, which, however,
resembled those of a .wild bull. "Be
quiet, I'm not going to hurt you."
"But what do you waut in here?"
"O, nothing; rest easy. I've got a
little medicine here for you to take."
Still stirring the dose, and advancing
to the bed. '. ;" i
The little fellow edged over to tbe
back part, as he said : '
"But, my friend, I. don't want any
medicine."
"Yes, you do : and this if not bad
to take, stirred up with . molasses.
Come, now, take it, like a good fellow,
and you'll be all right in the morn
ing.
"But I tell you I ain't ill; I woa't
take your medicine; you want o pois
on me ; I am not ill at all. Now get
out of here you bloody ruffian, , you I"
"" knew you would say that," said
the colonel. "Now come over here
and take it T and with that be took tne
poor young fellow by the curling hair,
pulled him over to the toresida of the
bed, and forced tbe medicine down
his throat. " ' .
Tho uproar brought iu half the
boarders, who enjoyed tbe thing thor
oughly, i
The young fellow -who teok the
forced dose is a jeweler there now;
but the oilier one, for whom it was in
tended, has slept long under the tnftd
rona tree that stands over his grave.
Dr. Jones attended the sick iu tbe
camp for a Ions time.- He bad left
college to travel to California in his
earlier days, aud, unfortunately for
huroauity, before be completed his
medicinal education. He doctored, as
he said, "promiscuously ;" that is," be
only knew tbe names of ten different
kinds of medicine, and he gave' them
in succession, so that if one did not
cure the other would.
"But," he would add, with a long
sigh,- "most of them died before he
had a chance to cure thern, and before
he bad given them half tbe medicines."
Practical jokes were not enjoyed
alone, but were retailed to the whole
commenity. Wheti one person ar
MARCH 1875.
ranged a practical joke the entire
neighborhood heard it before it came
off, if it were possible, or had uot been
gotten up on too short notice. But iu
any case it was told of immediately
after it was cousumated. Some of
them were not remarkable for refine
ment or delicacy but all were remark
able for originality and drollery.
. It was astonishing to what an ex
tent their love of this sort of amuse
ment led thenvto exercise their bodies
as well as brains. One time, in one
mining camp in California tld doctor
Jones took it into his head to visit the
schoolmaster regularly every night,
with three friends, to read over a peach
basket full of sheriff's reports which
they had come across by some means.
He was "one of them so- he knew
there was no ' use of rebellion, but he
studied vengeance. - They would sit
arouud the basket of - records and
smoke and drink fen occasional glass
of whiskey, and dispute for the privi
lege of reading tbem. Finally, one
or the other of them would get hold
of a, portion, jbuJ commence reading
in a sort of sing-song way, very exas
perating to the nerves of the teacher,
who, of course, could not sleep. Oc
casionally the amusement was varied
by a song and chorus and a jig or
dance.
, For three weeks this was kept up
and the teacher suffered. It was moon
light but after the moon had shut her
self up for repairs in the uoknown re
gions, this teacher spent two days ar
ranging his plan. The second night,
the crowd, augmented by four more
(all alive now aud prominent lawyers)
entered the yard. . It was dark there,
and they found a great many barrel
hoops in the vard, and large stones to
hit tbeir shins and stub their toes
against." ' They advanced, ' and all
stood on the porch ready to enter,
when the roof of the porch suddenly
gave way, and let fourteen barrel of
water down upon them. In their haste
to get out, they stepped down aud in
to a ditch full of water, and from
there they tumbled and stumbled over
the stones, every one now . and then
getting a rap on the shins from step
ping on a hoop.
The record were undisturbed after
that and tbe teacher slept in peace.
Ho had worked two day Uo arrange
that trap.
la Oakland near San Francisco, a
German had a vegetable gar-leu which
he was very proud of, for in '51 veg
etables were soarce." He planted a fine
lot of melons, and rained a luxuriant
crop, which were every one stolen the
night before they were to be picked.
One member of the Legislature in
California, several lawyer and doc
tors assisted that night at a soiree or
"ewarry," aa Sam Wei lor says where
melons were the salient point of at
traction. The next year, Dr. Ed. Gibbons, of
Ouklaud, raised a fine crop of melons,
and he went down towu one evening,
and boasted of his fine melous, and
promised all the "hoys" a feast out of
the second crop. lie had sold these
he said.
He went home as usual, on his old
white horse, and whistling to himself.
The next morning there were no mel
ons in the patch, and a lot of lawyers
and judges sat silently around tbe
door of the principal saloon and
smoked furiously. And in the back
yard lay a lot of Chinese pumpkins
which exactly resemble water-melons
on the outside, but not iu taste and
in several rooms lay roudy aud torn
clothes."
The doctor came riding down later
in the day, and, dismounting, asked
the boys in to drink. Thoy did so
lugubriously. As they bad their
glasses ia their hands, the doctor said :
. "Well, boys, how do you like
pumpkin raw ?"
- They looked at him a moment, and
then one said :
"Doctor, how long siuce you pru
ned this 'rig' ?"
"Just one yeat ego, when I was help
ing you eat Bogge's watermelons."
"Boys, let's liquor. Doctor, here's
to you." And they drank in .silence.
. I'KRPtTl AI. PAaTK.
Dissolve a teaspooaful of alum in a
rjuart of warm water; when cold stir
in as much flour as will make it like
thick cream; beat up all the lumps,
then stir in at much . powdered rosin
as will lay on a dime, then throw iu
1) dozen cloves to give pleasuut odor
and prevent souring. Have on tbe
fire a tea cup full of boiling water,
pour the flour mixture iuto it, stirring
well ; iu a few minutes it will be as
thick at uiubIi, then pour it into an
earthen or china vessel, let it cool,
cover and put in a cool place. When
needed for use take out a portiou aud
soften down with warm water. Paste
thus made will last twelve mouths,
aud is better than gum.
A Williamsburgh woman hat an ar
tificial jaw. Did she wear the other
one out ?
1 - .1 !-"
$2 PEIl ANNUM. .
" TUB FOOI. AKUTIIK niHHWAYMAN. '
Never heard of Redmond O'Hanlon,
the Irish highway robber? Well, that's
surprising. Your English Turpins
and French Duvals could not hod n
candle to our highwayman. But for
all his shrewdness he met his match
for once, and I'll tell you how it wa.
Redmond was' a fine, strspping,
gentlemanly fellow, and a devoted ad
tuirer of. the ladies as where is the
IrUhman that .is not? Aud what is
more, a friend to the poor; as you
will admit when I tell you that his de
mands for cash were only made on
persons who could afford to meet them,
and that he delighted in forcing con
tributions -from those who had the
name of a hard landlord to their ten
ants. There was one of this clans
whom Redmond never lost ao, oppor
tunity of; taxing, for that war ,the
polite name he gave to his bwn'rob
beriee. Every quarter day this gen
tleman, or- one of bis servant- some
times more than one used to take a
journey of six oasevea miles to col left
hit rents, and" as "regular as clock
work, there was Redmond O'Hanlon,
with some stout companion, if necessa
ry, td waylay the-collector as he re
turned home. Every means was ti'fd
to elude him, but to no- purpose. He
had spies everywhere, and contrived
to get the exact Information he need
ed iu advance. k
So one quarter day, when tbe gen
tlemau't servants asked him about go
for the rents, he swore at O'Hanlon,
and said he didn't see the use of col
lecting money to band over to bins.
Now this gentleman bad on . bis es
tate a boy called "Jerry the.Fool,"
who had the run of the house and
made fuu for the family. He bad a
great couceit of himself, and when he
beard what the master said, lie imme
diately asked to be allowed tu go after
tbe rents for once, and declared be
would know the way to briug them
home safe. Of course he was laughed
at, but when he represei.led that
no harm would como from trying,
as he couldu't do worse than all who
had gone before him, the master agreed
to honor him. Upou that, Jerry made
I ch preparations as be thought suite
ble, chose tbe worst horse in the stable
an old hack, half blind and three
quarters lame ana started on his en
terprise. Nothing occurred on the
way. His collected a considerable
amouut of money, caiefully deposited
it about his persou. and started home
ward, i Toward evening, as be was
quietly jogging along on tho old hack,
and was jut entering a long lane with
high bedg-s on both sides, a tall, fine
looking man rode up to him on a
handsome roan mare.
"God save you, my man," tayt be.
"God save your honor," replies Jer-
V'tYhal't your name, my man?''
asked the gentleman.
"Jerry the Fool, and I aiut ashamed
of it. Whvt's yours?"
The gentleman took no notice of
tho queston. After a while be says,
"That's a fine animal you're riding.
Jerry?"
"Faith, I'm glad your honor likes
it," suid Jerry; "but it isn't myself
that'd care to take a lease on his life.
But he'd serve my turn any wav, for
it's not iu hurry I'm traveling. 1 have
only been to the village beyond to
collect the roaster's rent for him."
"Surely he's not such a fool at to
trust ynu with tbe job ?"
"Arrah, why not?" asked Jerry iu
surprise.
"Why, don't you know that Red
mond O'Hauloa's on thia road ?"
"Redmond O'Hanlon, it it?" tald
Jerry. "Ogh! That much for Red
mond O'Hanlon," says he snapping
his fingers. "Fuix; Jerry the Fool is
a match for him, auy day in the week,
and Sunday into the bargain."
Tbe stranger laughed, and then rode
on in silence till they came to a lonely
part of the road, when he drew a
brace of pistols, and told Jerry to
hand over all the money he had about
Lim, or he'd try if ke had any brains
by sending a couple of bullets through
hit head.
"Mcala murlhcr!" roars Jerry iu a
tono of fright, "You don't mean to say
your hope's Redmond O'Hanlon?"
"I do, indeed. So, hand over, my
man, and look sharp about it,"
"But, falx, iU kilt entirely by the
master I'll be if I go hotut without
the rint."
"What's that to me?" said O'Han
lon. "Anahow," said 'Jerry, "I must
show them that I had a murdering
fight for it. Perhaps , your honor
wouldn't mind firing a shot through
my old beaver?" O'Haulon did so,
laughing at tbe trick.
"And now through the breast of my
coat and bless you." This was done.
"How just one in the skirt of it,
aud good luck to your honor."
"But I've discharged both my pis
tols nod don't want tho bother of load
ing them K'n f"r you."
. v Rateg of Advertising. .
One Square (1 Inch,) one Inertion - ftie
One Square " ono month - - 1 on
OneSrjtiare " three montlut ana
One Square ono year - 10 00
Two Square!,, one yesr - - n On
tuart!rCol. - - . - so Ou
Half " " - - v- - SO 0"
On 5 " .-i.. -"-loo no
,., I-ejral notice at established rate. .
Marrisjro and death notice, Rrati.
All bills for yearly advertisement col
lected quarterly. Temporary advsrtise
inenin inn-n be paid tor in advance.
.lob work, Csh on Ucliveiy.
. "Faix, and I should ilcurly like tn
have a shot in tho skirts; it would
show I ' fought desperate.' Are you.
sure your honor hasn't another pistol
in your pocket that ye would mind
firing for a poor boy's sake?-'
"Confound you I to be sure I haven't.
Hand over the money or I'll beat you
tea jelly with my horsewhip."
"Well," soys -Jerry, after a good
deal of fumbling, "I suppose after con
sidering the trouble I've had collect
ing theo nuts, your honor won't mind
goin over the hedge after them ?"
Aud he threw out a sack apparently
well filled wish coins. " Half laughing
half angry, the highwnyrnan first
aiming at Jerry with his whip, which,
he avoided by ducking -climbed over
tbe hedge and no sooner had he done
so than Jerry slipped off the old liack
and mounted O'Hanlnn's horse,
i "Bad scan to yon, Redmond O'Han
lon ' he bawled. " "Didn't I tell you
thatjjrry, the Fool, was a match for
a duVon'ujf J out It's a sack of brass
buttp4you to gone over the hedge
alter, you thief of the world?". Aud
touchingsUro fine mare with the spur
he galloped off,' singing at the top of
bis voice the old melody, "Go to the
mischief and shake yourself 1" O'Han
lon couldn't pursue him on the hack ;
the cute fool made him "discharge, lis
pistols. ' There was nothing to do out
to Walk away cursing his own stopidi-'
ty'; and ever after if any one wanted
to provoke him they had only to 'ask
hi.n.whcn he had seeu Jerry, the Fool,
last. . - -
UaELKHM WORRY.
Life has great troubles In store for
all of us; and few live to be men and
women without tnowiug terrible gnei.
But, fortunately, these intense mo
ments cannot fill all tho years. Time
helps us to forget at least, the sorest
of the pain. -To every one would come
some joy but for the little worries that
happen with the passing hours caret
about money and the cost of things,
small quarrels, petty jealousies, false
shame, aud au awful dread of what
"they" will think if we take a little
comfort, and dress and eat to suit our
selves, and know people we like wheth
er they are "genteel" or not, and say
what we aieau, instead ol what is ex
pected. Worries eat the life away. : They
gnaw a fid bite wrinkles into the face,
and bring gray hairs on the head, and
half the time they are net only abso
lutely needless but absurd.- Why in
the name of all that is -sensible, can
we not wait until the draught of sor
row it forced to our lips, and not tup
needlessly at the cup of gall and
wormwood?
If every man could say to himself,
"small worries shall . most , certdiuly
not lengthen my; face' If every wo
man could refuse to fret over such
trifles as impudent nooks, and napkios
with untimely- holes in - them,
more of us would live out the three- .
score and ten years allotted to us by
Heaven, and, we should all certainly
be much better eompany while we
lasted. ,; y
There were two of them. She with
bent head aud parted lips, was listen
ing intently. He, with face flushed ,
and roice vibrating, at saying, "In
all this wide world, darling, there it no
being so dear '' And then Mr Uol
cnmb'i clerk started a quarter of a ton "
of snow from the roof, and a man look"
iug like an allegory of winter,'- was
danciug out in the street, shaking his
fist upward, and screaming at the top
of bis voice, "Come dowu here, you
ugly viner, and I'll kick your gol darn
ed head in, gol darn you I Danburj
New. , t
Rev, Mr. Haweis, of Marylebone,
Ijondon, believes in the dignity of la
bur. He said in a receut teimon t "If
aught should happen to prevent tne
from retaiuiog charge of this congre
gation I should take to literature. If
I found myself unfit for literature I
should trailo. If I had not sufficient
capital to trade I should black boots." -As
hit Maje.ty, Louit Phillippe once
blnckud boots, the rector would have a
royal example. -
"Mrs. Samuel Revolver Colt is go
ing to found au orphan asylum," If
tbe asylum is intended for the orphans
her revolvers have made, wo should
like to know where the it going to
Cud a vacant lot large euough for it.
An uncle lett eleven silver spoons
to hit nephew iu hit will, adding, "he
know the reason wby I have not left
hint the whole doxen.L'
- Fiva huudred and seveuty five
poumU were made one flesh, recently,
at Washington, Iowa. Ho wuighed
300 and she 273 pouuds. '
Tho Kellogg company have tugJo
more money this season thau was ever
made in a single season of opera be
fore. The best preparation to keep a lady's
hand "free from cbaps"is a report that
nho hit U'j monev.