. l.j.USITXn EVERY WKDNKflDiJr, BY
V.It. BUW. '
mCE IS lKTOTtLiH ft fltrnjno,
ELM BTBl.T, TIOSE8TA,
- TKHMff'2.00 A YKAR.
We Bbscr!ption received lot a shorter
eorlod Uimi throe month.
CorrPondmH solicited from all parts
nf Miro!ry. No notice will be taken of
anonymous communication. .
BUSINESS
DIRECTORY.
. TI0JTE3TA LODGE
: VSvctl. O. of O. F.
M
'TfUTft ererr Frldav renlna-. at T
o'clock, in the Hull formerly oouupicnU
, DALE,
LATIMDU, 6y.
27-tf.
TIQ&E5TA, COUNCIL, NO 342,
O. TJ. A.. M.---
MEKTS at Odd Fellow LodK Room,
vary Tuesday evenmir. at 7 o'olook.
BLAINJ5, C.
J. H. FONES,. 8.
31.
-.-"-. t)r. J. K. Blaine.
'i-FFICE4Vnd residence oppmlta th
J Ldwnnc Itonae. Claoeday Wedne-
day and Baturday. - W-tf.
MILK8 W. TATE,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
JHmMrwt, ; - TIONRXTA,PA.
' . . , , v. ,, . , .. . .
''. W. P. Merctlllott,
ATTORNEY AT LAW, cor. Elm and.
Walnut St.. Tionesta, Pa. I liava
associated myself with lion. A, n. Tliclj--niond,
of Meadvllle, Pa., in the practice of
. law la Forest County. 10-ly
" F. W. Maya,
ATTORNEY AT LAW. and Notaixy
Punuc. Koynolds Iluklll & Co.'e
Blok, Honeca SU, Oil City, Pa. SH-ly
r. xincab. . . r, a. smilkit.
" xiirygjzA smile r,
"Attorney at Law, Franklin, Pa.
PRACTICFi In tha eeral Court of Ve
nango, Crawford, K or oat, and adjoln
Aij counties. SO-It.
- CENTRAL HOUSE, ,
BONNER ,'AONKW, BLOCK. 1
AOS it w, Propriotor. Thla la a new
bouse, and haajunt hoen fitted up fo tha
. atvainmodntiou of tha public. A portuin
of tha patronage of the public la aollolaid.
Lawrence Houae, .
T ION EST A, PA.. WILLIAM
LAW-
a. KK.tiUK,
Phopmirtob. Thla bmi-i
entrallr loratotl. KrarythinK new and
wall furnUhed - Superior-acconnnoda-.
alone and strict attention (Iran to Rueata.
Yeiretable and Fruit of all kind aerved
' In thalr aeaaon. Sample room for Com
aaeroial Agonta. . . ' .
FOREST HOUSE,
SA. VARNHUPropiiiktob. Opposite
Court Houve, Tioneata, Pa.. Just
aieaad. Evarythlna; new and clean and
fresh. Tha best of liquors keptooustantly
a hand. A portion of the public patron
C la recpeotfully solicited. ' 4-17-lr
TlonesU House.
CI T. LATIMER lessee. Elm St. Tlo
Ti siesta. Pa., at the mouth of the creek,
"Mr-. I has thnroiiKlily renovatad the
Tionasia House, and re-furnishod It coin
letaly. All whi patronixe him will bo
well entertained at reasonable rates. 37 ly
Errtplre Hotel. ,
TIDOOTK. PA. JJ. EWALD.Prowiik
- Ton. This hou ia centrally locnlod,
has been thomunhly relWtod and now
)oaala aseood a table and beds aa any Ho
tei in theVil regions. Transient only S2.0C
per day. iii-Om
C. B. Weber's Motel, ' v-,
ntYLEUSBUBOII.PA. ?. B. WEBER, T
X has poaaewion of tha now brick bolcl
and will lia happy to entoitalntll bia old
tiatoincra. and aiiT numlwr new ones.
Uood arcommodations for gfiusta, and ex-1
eellent atablinit. - iu-3in
Dr. J. L. Acoiib, k.
PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON, who has
had ttfloeu vaara' experience in a large
and Buocessfuf practice, will attend all
Professional Calls. Oflice In hla Drue; and
Clroeery Ntore, located la Tidioute, near
Tidiouta House.
IN HI9 STORE WILL BE FOUND
A full assortment of Medicitiea, Liquors
tobaoco, Cigara, Stationery, Glass, Painta,
Oils, Cutlery, all of the host quality, and
will be sold at reasonable rato.
IR. CIIAS. O. DAY, an experienced
Physician and Drumiwt from New York,
has eliarga of the ijiure. All prescriptions
put up accurately.
lu a. hat. ito. r. ri"- a. iu.r
HAY, PA UK CO.,
-JB J iSL TZ. E JEZi S
Corner of Elm A Walnut Sla.Tionosta.
Bank of Discount and Deposit.
- Interest allowed on Time Deposits.
Collections ma loon all the Prinoipal point
of the U. S.
Collections solicited.
18-ly.
D. W. CLARK,
eOXXISSINIEB'a CLBRK, rOBKST CO., FA.)
HEAL ESTATE A.UJ5NT.
HOUSES and Lot for Sale and "RENT
- Wild Lauda for Solo. 1.
1 bare superior facilities for ascertaining
tka,cojadltion of taxoa and tax deeds, tc.,
- aud aiu tharofore qualiliod to act intolli
eaUy aa agent of those living at a dia-
4anc, owning lands in the County,
OtUoa in Cuutiniaatouera Uoom, Court
siouae, j .otiwttt, l a.
-4.-ly. - , , D. W.CLAIVK,
NEW BILLIARD ROOMS !
ADJOI VINO the Tlonesta House, at tha
mouth of Tiouesta Croak. The Ublca
and room are new, and everything kept In
order. To lovers of the r:imo a cordial
iuvitutim is extended to coina and play
in the new room.
. t; t.f . T. LATIMER, I.aec,
fern
VOL. VII. NO. 31.
WM. F. BLUIYI,
BIjAOKSMITH
AND . ' ,
"WAGON -MAKER.
1 ; ! Corner of Church and Elm Btreota, i
TIONESTA'i T?J.
rTblnrin ta prepared to do oil work' In
lis una, ana win warrant everyming none
at their h--p to trlve satisfaction. Par
ticular attention given to
HOKSIUHIIOr.INCJ,
Olra thein a trial, and
KretlU
yob
will not re
. 13-ly.
BLACKSMITH AND WAGON SHOP.
THE un1pnlgnpd havo opened a flrrt
clasa Hlaeitsmith and Wann 8ho, In
the ltolwrta almp, opioile the Rural
linusa. All work ill eithnr Una promptly
attended to, and sutil'nction guaranteed. .
XIorMOMltooln n Specialty
23 ly L. SPEAIlS II. W. ROBERTS.
NEW HARNESS SHOP.
JUST pp netj ki the Roberta BiilUlInfop
noflllo the Rural Itousn. Tha ufebr-
signod is propured to do all kinds of wm k
in his ltne in mit ue style anu oil snort
notiso. a .
JfEU 'II AltNllNS
A Specialty. Kcdp jm hand a flne axaort
ntciit of ( urry Cuis, BriiHliea, llameaa
Oil, Whips ami Hndillos, llnrneHa or all
kiuda made to order and cheap aa the
cheapest. Remember the name and plave
W. WKSI', Robert- Building. :
22-ly Uppi site Rural House, Tioneata.
II. C. HARLIN,
Morcliant Trvilor;
IN The lawaence Building, over Super
ior Lumber Co. Ktore. The beat atock
kept constantly on hand, and made up in
the best manner and newest atylca. lU-Iy
91 ItS. V. 91. 1II2ATII,
DRESSMAKER, Tionosta, Pa.
M
RS. TIEATH hai recently moved to
tins place lor tne purpoae or m"utinir
want which tha lauios of the town and
county have fir a long time known, that
of having a dreaamaker of experience
amopr thm. lam prepared to make nil
kinds or dresHcs in the la'ost style, anil
guarantee aatisroctioilT Stamping lor braid
ing ana embroidery done in the best mnn
nnry with the newest patterns. All I ask
Inalulr rial. ReNidcncO on Water Street,
in the house formorly oocupiod bv Jacob
Shriter. 11
r Frank Itobbiii,
PHOTOGRAPHER ,
(KUtTKSKOR TO DEMINO.)
Pictures In every stylnor the art. Vlows
of the oil regions for sale or taken to or-
Jier. . '
CENTRE STREET, neat- U, R. crossing.
SYCAMORE STREET, near Union De
pot, Oil City, Pa. " i 20-tf
PHOTOGRAPH. GALLERY.
. BLM KTUIET,
SOUTH OF ROBINSON i BONNER'S
STORE.
Tionwta. Pa., , .
M. CARPENTE3 ... Proprietor.
V
riotnres taken In all tho latest style
the art 'M-V
NEW JEWELRY STORE
' In Xloneta.!
. . i
M. SMITH,
if
WATCHMAKER & JEWELER,
At SUPERIOR STORE.
ALL WORK WARRANTED.
. .
A Large and Superior Stock of '
-
and OTo-vraslry,
CONSTANTLY ON HAND. ,
in-
LA mi
SMITH hu tine machinery for
making all parts of a waU-h or clock
that may be missing or broken. He war
rants all his work. The prtroiiage of the
citizens of forest County ia mutt reapeut
fully solicited. All he auk ia fair trial.
4lf
AD V K RTLS E R8 send 25 cent to Oeo.
P. Rowell Co., 41 Park Row, N. Y.,
for their Eighty-page Pamphlet, showing
vtof adverising. 13 41
T10NESTA, PA.,
DEAD LETTERS.
A short spar e of two days and hit
vacation would commence. Two weekd!
Out two weeks were two years of fun,
two centuries of real enjoyment, two
eternities of rest, compared to the con
stant drag, drag, in that lonely busi
ness which took up all his day hours
in work, and all liia bight hours in
dreams. Two week away from the
constant reading of letters which were
written for other eyes than his I Mow
he ever got into the Dead Letter Office
he couldn' say, and how he ever staid
there without growing wild to the ex
tent of Haling out all his hair and
ramming pens' into his brown eyes, he
couldn't br the life of him. tell. He
had staid on two years, and was much
honored, in a small way, as i' skillful
clerk iir the department. lie couldn't
tell why again. 1 In 'fact, bis career
was a series of "couldn't-tell-why,"
which, however, were the cogg to the
wheels which kept his life agoing.
Casual Obsetver might have told why
he was considered one of the best
clerks in the department, and said
Observer might have remarked that it
was because he 1 here I 1 ve got just
so far without Using a name, and I
hoped I'd get clear through the story
without committing myself; but its
no use. These pronouns are terribly
exuding things, and I shall have to
get a name for the "he" before the
last dash, or I shall he unable to pro
ceed any further. 1 Well, Tom will do,
won't it ? Tom's a name, and there are
lots nf Toms in Wttsliingt.it), nnd sev
al Toms iu the Dead Letter Office.
Now, then, we'll take nuiUher -start
with Tom and tho Observer.
I say that tha Observer would have
remarked that it (go back a few lines
ibr the explanation of the "it") was
because Tom had a very tender heart
in his possession. A sad thing. to have
a tender ' heart when you're dealing
with persons, they sav. Tom thought it
was. sadder when dealing with letters,
lie would choke fifty times each 'day
while reading some earnest, heart-felt
epistle which, despite the love and
tidclity a mother's hand had buried in
the lines, had miscarried, nor would
ever reach a dear son's eyes. Or per
haps it was a father's strong call
strong in tears and strung in love
which would never bring back to the
home-fold a straying daughter.
The letters Tom read with a heart
ache, which spread like neuralgia, and
somehow filled his whole body with an
untold pain, were by 'the thousand a
year; but hi interest in the sad cases
was never flagging, and hc 'ala-ays
made a good push to have the letters
which came from'. loving hands for
loved ones take one more clinnce of
reaching their destination. ' If Tom's
successes had each heeu a block : of
granite, the Washington . Monument
would have been completed over elev
en months ago." ' '
Tom was to hare two weeks vaca
tion -two weeks, commencing in two
days. ' He wasn't often idle; but' this
uioruiug he held one of a batch of let-ters--epistolatory
corpses and ' sat
thinking of any thing but his work.
here should he go 10 vacation 7
There was no mother or brother, or
siater waiting for him to come home.
There were uo kisses of welcome wait
ing for him among green hills, or by
pleasant, shilling waters. Where should
he go 7 Ileigho I He couldn't make up
his mind. With a Bhake, like a cat
awaking, he came back to his work
and gazed on the cue letter foru 'many
in a pile before him he had sumi uncon
sciously taken up, Tha direction ol
the letter was as follows :
... , , Miss Clara F. Dennett, ') ft '
L Albant,
Vermont.
The post-mark bore the ' name of
Providence, Khode Island, and date
of July 20. On the other side of the
euvelope was a pretty monogram of
three letters, F. H. W. or W. II. F.,
or II. W. F , or some combination,
Tom could-decide which. Boheopeu
tho letter and read :
"Claba, My heart is nigh break
ing. May I not come back? I was
wholly wrong; but my love for ywu
made me unreasonably exacting and
uuwilling to yield, iorgive me, for
Heuveu's sake, aud say I may come
to you. I will wait for one week more
in Providence to bear from you. Do
write. Fkakk." ..
No date aud no signatur.'. "Just
like a man iu love!" said Tom. ' The
only thiug settled is that the first let
ter of that monogram is an F., a blue
F That dveau't amount toauy thing.
I don't kuow the secoud Ititter I
mean which it is." Somehow be was
led to put the letter oue side instead
of throwing it iu the waste receptacle.
He thought he'd like to look at that
niouograui ouce more, it was such a
pretty oue. . . -
Five, six. seven, eight, nine more
letters read, aud nothing in the shape
01 business yet. r umber ten ! iNum
NOVEMBER 4, 1871.
brr ten was a small, delicato hand,
directed follow : , r , "
Mr. Frank II. Wendelt, ' '
St. Albant,
J crynont. '
This letter bore (fate of July 21, and
popt-mark Fitchburg, Mastachusetts. '
Tom had quite forgotten for thetme
ment the other St. Albans letter, but1
of a sudden he cried faliimselfUui
lol Kt. Albaus Is full of business to-'
day!" , ;, , , , y v,
"My Dear Frank, I only hope
you have gone back to 8u Albans, for i
Heaven alone knows huw else this I
may reuch yon. I take my only
chance, it seems to me, left for happi
n ss. I must write since niy heart
will not let me sit longer and feed on 1
my own Sornw without breaking.!
Dear, since you went away from me.
on that sad, sad night, not oue mo
ment of peace, no day when a song
was ole.sant to hear, no day wh?n I
could sit silently glad, has come to
roe- -Ouly longing fur you I was prond.
sod angry that ym nhuld ' not 'trust
me ; and though I could easily have
explained, I would not. I, for that
short half hour, believed I could hear
everything, since I bore harsh words
San they then seemed). Now I know
was wrong. Darling, will you not
write to tne 7 just one word to you
forgive m, and, if you caa, say you
still love mo? Shall I never see you
again? Dear heart, I was never any
thing but true to you, aud that I can
show you if you will come to me or
let me write to you. ' Will you not
write to me? Just one letter, and 1
will bless you each day I live, if God
makes me live a thousand yetirs.
' '"Always being. I am still, only
tours, "Clara F. Dennett,
"Wallace St., Fitihburg.
"r. o. 1 am Willi my coiifiin, pass
iug the summer, and, unices I htar
from you, trust I may never return to
St. Albans."
"By Jove!" said Tom. "here are
two which go together. Whereas that
other letter? Yes I As I'm a pour lone
ly mortal, I've got the two iu a heap,
and now' I must deal them a new
hand." (Tom was rather given to
playing curds; therefore his language.)
So be put the two aside, aud left ihetn
in a closer union ns letters thuu they
had beeu as beings. If Tom had heeu
a mesmerist or a believer in mesmer
ism, he would have probably wondered
if the joining nf thoso two letters
would have any influence on ti e day's
lite of the two writers. As he wasn't,
he didn't; t. e, wasn't a mesmerist or
a believer, he didn't wonder; he only
commenced to form a plan for his va
cation. The commencing ended half uu
hour after his day's work was over.
"I'm going to Providence duy after
to-morrow, Mrs. Wilkins," said Tom,
that evening, to his landlady.
; t'On , businea, t Mr.V , torn ?'" (Of
course she didn't say "Mr. Tom," but
it will do just as well.)
"No'm ; it's my vacation."
"I hope you'll have a nice time."
"My trust is in Providence." suid
Tom, a little irreligiously, but he
could't resist the pun. "Aud I've al
ways wuntcd a clam-bake, and thev
do suy there's no spot on the earth for
a clam-hake life the little buck-yard
they call Khode Island."
Day after to-morrow became to-duy,
and Tom started.
Kre long Tom has smoked a whole
cigar, and got several miles 011 his
way to ward Frovideuee, Uhnde Is
land. A quest he calls :t ;' an attempt
to hud out Frank H. Wendell, and
then to re introduce him to Clara F.
Dennett. He lived with these two all
his journey. Clara had blue eyes and
fair hair, he was confident; Frank
wore a slight mustache and was rather
thin, he was certain; and so he buiit
up two imaginary persons, and even
tound himself foolishly trying to fit
his imaginations no two ftilow travel
ers. Providence at last. Hotel a few
moments after.' Tea after dressing.
Plenty of time, thought Tom ; and he
didn't go out that night. There was
no harm iu a brief perusal of the C:ty
Directory, however; and so Tom stood
at the hotel counter aud monopolized
the Directory chained to the marble.
"V.'-a-Wr-W e n W-e n-d-Wen-de.l.
Here it is," said Tom, mutter
ing to himself. There were a few
Weudells, but no Frank or Francis
II., not even a simple Frank or Fran
cis. "Do you know a Frank Wendell?"
queried Turn of the hotel clerk.
No, he didn't, Ihut clerk answerd,
after he hud got through sturiug at
Turn.
"Who'd he likely ta know a young
man- about the city?" again asked
Tom. 1 . ' '
Well (second long stare), the clerk
thought he Q.be clerk) would, and he'd
never heard of Frank Wendell or any
other Wendell, exoent an old man
who sometimes came round to buy
bottles of the hotel. That wasn't the
one the gentleman meant, was it?
Tom thought not.
- t
$2 PER ANNUM.
Tom was wantteslly brought
tip
alitadiAtf Siv li wont Kt
Next morning he had another look
at the letters. , The delicately written
one gave him an clew for the present.
Certainly the other didn't. Tom put
tn'cm'both 'tin 'the 'niaafef piece "and
turned ta brush hisMiair1 at the mirror
(a two-!y-one and a-half bit of a looking-glass).
:i Wyie Tom's auburn locks
were being "fixed" a nije little gust of
wind "unfixed" them; but at lust his
hair wns dreaded. Tom turned to take
the letters and "Confound it, if they
huA-en't tumbled into tha pitcher of
water I'" There was snch a receptacle
(iu Ihe table under' the mantle-piece.
VNuw H hnift dry "theui". I aopiiiute."
.Just ,uy cursed luck I" lie took tretu
oil to dir land, the shipwrecked let
tera, a- d patted theiii gently with a
towel. The monogram lett had been
cut open at one end,' hut the walefhud
loosened the flap, aud it easily turned
back. ' : ' '
."Mean .'stickum' they put on th-se
envelopes,", said Tom 1 and then e
paused to read the milker's name. On
the edge of the envelope In raised let
ters was 'the following. "W. A. John
sooT 51 Blank Street?' '"By the blood
of all 'the. Howards!", cried Tom,
"I've got it. If my friend, my dear
friend, new found, Johnson doesn't
know for whom he made that ' mono
gram, he'd belter sell out aud go into
the fish trade. ' Peradventure I call at
51 Blank Street to-day."
; Tom did call. j
" Mr. Johnson was in?
"Yes," eaid a nice gtrl who waited
on Tom, aud he'd be down - in a mo
ment. , Johnson came, and Tom asked him
a quet-lion or two. . Johnson said, in
substance : 1 1 ' : ' '
"I made ' that"' monogram for Mr.
Wetidoll some time since; aud he Mas
then living with an uncle I think he
told me at" (consulting an old order
book) "No. 17 Soatid-so Street. At
any rate, there's where the paper wus
sent." '""!. '..
Tom immediately ordered a . mono
gram for himself out of pure gratitude.
He then culled at No. 17. Mr. Wen
dell had been staying there, but ' had
left : three days , octiire for' Bostot).
Servant didn't know whereabouts in
Boston. She would inquire of misses.
Coining buck servant- said misses
thought ' at Treinont House, if he
hadn't gone to New fork.
"On the way t Fitchburg," sen
tenuously said Tom,' aud took the next
train for Boston. ...
'Mr. Wendell was'olopping there,
said the clerk of the Treinont House.
"Here 1 , show the gentleman to No.
T T7i atria in''
Tom waited around an hour,
"walk-
ed over the burned district, and came
back. .Mr. Weudell had returned and
whs in his room. -Tom wonw. tor No.
85, aud knocked. I : V t'U.it' -
"Come in!" and iu he went, to find
a young man with a full beard, tall,
and quite .stout.
"So much for my fancy," 'said-Tom
to himself. "She'll be fat aud a bru
nette. T
"This is Mr. Wendell?" queried
Tom.' " '
' ys, Sir," was the reply. "Excuse
my continuing my toilette."
. "Mr. Frank Weudell?" asked Tom,
to make certainl
. ."Yes.sir; Frank Weudell.'. '. .1
'Then Tom went to the very bottom
of the matter, and said J : '."'.
"I come from a friend aour-
Mi Dennett" (how WendernTlushed,
and theu in rued pale!); "she's also a
particular friend of mine (.though she
don't kuow it," said Tom, totto voce);
"and she would like very much, if you
caa spar the time, to huve : you call
on her. She's living at Fitchburg,
and
"For 'God's snke, when does the
next train rarl?" and Weudell was
rushing down stairs, and grabbing a
"Dial", railroad sheet iu less than
four seconds. Time enough there was.
and ' a little bag was soon racked
Torn thought he'd go down to Fitch
burg too. to see the thing ut; and
they went down together. They went
over to Wallace Street, and hit the
house after three trials. To in would
wait iu the hall he thought. Tutu
heaid one scream, two kisses, a rush,
and several other thing too numerous
to mention, and was oc the point of
crawling nut of the front door when
Ihe heavy band of Weudell was laid
on his shoulder.
"Come in' and explain this thing
She says she never heard of you bu
fore I" '
' "No more has she?" said Tom,
laughing: aud seating himself ou the
sola, he explained the whole affair.
- I'm not, certain; but believe Cla
ra kissed him. At all venU, few day
after ba weut back to Washington- a
happy fellow, having made others so
happy. . ;
That was a year ago nearly. Casual
Observer told me a day or two since
that Tom had reveirad cards to th
Rates of Advertising.
Ona Ho,nare (1 Inch,) one Inertion - l 0
One Sipmre ' one month - - 3 00
One Square " three month . tt 00
OneH(uare " one year - - 10 to
Two Squares, one year - - 15 Co
Quarter I'ol. ' . , . 30 (KI
Half " . . .. . M) (
On . . . 100 c
l.ejral notices at established ratna.
Marriage and death notiros, gratis. '
All bills for ycarlr advertisement col
lector! quarterly. Temporary advertise
menta inus' be paid for in advance
Job work, C-h on Dchveiy.
wedding of F. II. Wendell and Clara
F. Dennett, to come off a week from
next Monday, and also that Tom had
been corresponding for some time with
Miss Lmmn Dennett, tr of Clara's.
Furthermore, Casual said, "If yoa
want to hear two people rave in praise
of another fellow, ynu should hear Mis
Dennett and Mr. Wendell talk about
torn. :
I
MnoWING THE BOYS HOW TO SHOOT.
Recently, at a saloon en the Divide,
some men were discursiug the Shooting
affray which occurred during tha
morning between the two brothers-in-
law, 1 l-anmaa and t-milh. ' It' was
agreed on all bunds that it was shock
ing bad shooting a discredit to' the
country. At last a Pioche man ban
tered a Comstock man, whom h knew
to, be a good shot with a pistol. - to go
jiut in the back yard with Jura and do
Some shooting, just to show tbe"hova"'
how it should be done. . Iu tha saloon
was a fcox of eggs, , and what the
Piocher-uroposed wa that esch; ahoot
two eggs off the hare head of the nth
er at .the-distance of ten paces, the one
mi 88 nig to treat the crowd. Tha Coin-
stocker was hound not to be bluffed f?y
a man Irom the other end nt the State.
so to the back yard all bands adjourn
ed.., Each maji used hiaowu six-shoot
er. v!h Comstocker first . ''busted
his egg on top of the Piocher , bead,
which exploit was loudly . applauded
by all present, vlt was then th. Pio
cher' turn to shoot, and au egg was.
produced to be placed upon the head
of the Comstocker,' but wheu he re
moved his hat there was a great laugh,
for the top of his head was as smooth
as u billiard ball.' "For full ten min
utes all hands tried in vain to ' make
an egg stand on his head. It couldn't
be done.1 The Piocher then taunted
the Comstocker with 'having gone into
the arrangement knowing that he was
safe. The latter told him to set up
an rgg and it was all ' right he Was
there. The Piocher went into Ihe sa
loon, and a moment after came out
with a small handful of flour, which
he duubed upon the bald head of tho
Comstocker, and theu triumphantly
plauted in it hi egg, fell back tea
teps, aud then knocked it "ofT. Tho
o . 1. . - .1 .11 l. : .
u.iin.iuvnri iritl mil, (IF sob up
his second egg and shoot at it, as ho
didn't want to have his head chalked
twice during theganre. This was done
and the wreck of a second egg stream
ed over the Qorustocker's pate. The
P.ocher now stood out with hi last
egg on his head. The Comstocker
raised his pist-jl and fired. The Pio
cher bounded a yard into th sir, and
the egg bounced whole from his head.
"I've 1 lost," si id the Comstocker.
"Let's all come and take a driuk. ' By
a slip I've put half the w.dth of my
bullet through the top of his left earl"
and so it proved upou nieuaureuient,
Virginia Enterprise.
"Henry," said one Quaker to anoth
er "thee knows I never call anybody
names; hut, Heury, if tb Governor
of the State should come to me and
say, "Jotdiua, I want thee ta find roe
the biggest liar in the State of New
York, I would come to thee aud say,
(Henry, the Goveruor wants to e
thee particularly,' " ; 1 ... :
1 A small boy ca'led at a Detroit po
lice station, aud desired to steal some
thing, so that he might be sent to the
reform ' school. The accommodating
sergeant laid ' lo o hie pocket-book
and weut up-staire. The boy took Ih6
property and left, but has probably
found a more congenial place than a
reform school.
During a secret session 6"f the Chi
rng't Board of Commissioners one of
the members was astonished to see aa
atigur-tip projecting through the car.
pet, aud, upou instituting an examina
tion, found that a party of reporters
had bored thmngh from the cellar for
the purpose of hearing what wuvaid.
"Do you like to go to church?" said
a lady to Mrs. Partington. "Law me.
1 .1..
l uo,
replied Mrs P., "nothing does
me so much good as to get up curl
y
Sunday morning and go to churc
and go to church
and hear a populous minister dispense
u-lih I.a .....! "
Girls, don't get up and get break
fast in ihe nioruing. A young lady
attempted it one day last . week, and
was burned to death. Show this to
your ma's. .1
"I want to know," said a creditor,
fiercely, "wheu' you are going to pay
me what you owe me?" "I give it up, '
replied the debtor, "ask me somuthiug
A Cincinnati wifc employs her hus
band as head clerk in her store, and
she makes him toe the mark uudor
threuU of heiug discharged..
Iu character, iu manners, iu style,
la all things, the supreme excellence
I bi in nl ieif v .
4
True friendship is like sound health.
The -value of it is seldom known until
' it is 1
"T ' '7'" . - - v - m . C v r