Rates of Advertising.
One 8qnnre(l inch,) one Inertion H SO
OneSiiure " one month . . 3 OH
One Square " three months II 00
One Square ' one year - - low
rLBLismp Kveut wkdneisday, by
W. Tl. DUNN.
ELM STREET, TIOKE8TA, fa.'
T1CRMH, .2.00 A YUAR. .
We Bwbscrlptlons received r a shorter
period than throe month.
Correspondence solicited from all part
nf (ho country. No notice will le taken of
arnienymous communication.
two squares, one year - - - JS Po
Quarter Col. " - " - . - 30 On
Half " " .... no (?
One . . " . . . . 100 CP
l.eprtl notices at established rules,
Marrinirn and death notices, gratis. '
Ail bills for vcsrlv ad vrt.iwfif(its Ml.
lected quarterly. Temporary advertise
ments inus be paid for In advance.
VOL. VII. NO. 31.
T10NESTA, PA., NOVEMBER' 4, 1874.
$2 PER ANNUM.
Job work, Cah on lieliveiy.
'Jd'"-V''i-;t iv
BUSINESS DIRECTORY.
TI03JESTA LODGE
wlI.O. of O. F1.
.v
1 IV f KKTS every Friday evening, at 7
iVL o'clock, (n the 1 1 Kit formerly oouupled
by tbo Uood Templar.
J. T. DALE, V. n.
n.T. LATIMBR, See'y. . 27f.
TIONESTA COUNCIL, NO.' 342,
O. TJ. V. M. -
MEETS at Odd Fellows' Lodge Room,
very Tuesday evenimr. at 7 o'clock.
J. E. ULA1NE, C.
FOXES, n. 8. 31.
Dr. J. K. Blair,e,
'AFFICE and residence opposite
the
J Lawrence House,
v day and Saturday.
OUIoeday Wedne-
so-u.
JUL K H AV. TATE,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
E(Jtrert, Tl0tfR.1TA.PJ.
' ' W. P. MercllMott,
ATTORNEY AT LAW, cor. Elm and
Walnut St., Tionesta, Pa. 1 liave
nasoctated myself with lion. A. II. Rich
mond, of Meadvlllo, Pa., iu the praotlco of
law In Forest County. 10-ly
F. W. Mays,
Attorney' at law, and notary
Public, Reynolds ilukill A Co.'s
Block, Moneca St., nil City, Pa, SH-ly
F. KItCtEAR, . r, B. IMILKr.
KI2TNEJ r SMI LI! Y,
Attorneys at Law, Franklin, Pa.
PRACTICE In the several d
X nan go, Crawford, Forest,
Court of Ve-
and ad.loiii-
Jij counties.
S'J-ly.
CENTRAL HOUSE,
BONNF.R AONKW BLOCK. U
AvKKff, Proprietor. This Ik a now
iiouae, and has just boon fitted up for the
ccoinmodntiou of the public. A portjpn
t the patronage of the public I solicited.
1-lj
Lawrence Houw,
TIONKSTA, PA.. WILLIAM LAW
RKNCK. Pkopiiietob. TMa hous
i eentrallv located. F.verything new and
well furnished- Superior aecommoda
.elona and, strict attention given to guests.
"Vegetables and Fruit of all kind served
In their season. Sample room for Com
mercial Agents. .
FOREST HOUSE,
SA. VARSKB PropbiktoB. Opposite
Court HouNe, Tlonesta, Pa.. Just
eaed. Everything new and clean and
fresh. The best of liquor kept eoustantly
a hand. A portion of the public patron
age 1 reapeotfully solicited. 4-17-1 v
Tlonesta House.
G.
T. LATIMER Lessee, Elm St. Tio-
masta. Pa., at the mouth or the creeK.
fcfr. I. ha thoroughly renovated the
Tionesta House, and re-furnishcd it com
rletslv. Alt. who patronliw him will bo
well entertained at reasonable rates. 37 ly
Enypire Hotel. r
TIDOUTK. PA. IT. KWALD, PnomiB-
tor. Tlii" house is centrally loo tod,
lias hoen thn-tiiighly refuted and now
t.Ai il e-ood a table nd hods a anv Ho
tol In the oil regions. Transient only $2.0G
ucr dav. iM-Gm
C. B. Weber's Hotel,
Mil Lr.nnnuniii. i v. v.. . . i-.ift;.i,
L hM nasaesaion of the new brick hotel
and will be happy to entertain alt his old
enstomors, ana any numoer oi new one
Uood accommodations for guests, and ex
cellent stabling. 10-m
Dr. J. I Acoirb, . -
PlVSICIAN AND SURGEON, who has
had llfloen years' experience in a large
and success in i practice, win attena an
l'roresaional Call. Oflice in his Drug and
Grocery Store, located iu Tiuioute, near
Tldioute House.
IN HI3 STORE WILL BE FOUND
A full assortment of Modicines, Liquors
Tobaoco. Ciirnrs. Stationery. Glass, Paints,
Oils, Cutlery, all of the best quality, and
will ha sold at reasonable rates.
DR. CHA.S. O. DAY, an experienced
Phvs u an and Druirilst rrom JNew lork
has charge of the Store. All prescriptions
put up accurately.
. u. a. mat. jko. r. - a. a. u.r
MA Y, PA IiK C CO.,
S A -tsE K E B S
Corner of Elm it Walnut Sis. Tloneata,
Bank of Discount and Deposit.
- Interest allowed on Time Deposits.
Collections raa loonull thePrinoipal points
ofthoU. S,
Collection soiioited. 18-ly.
D. W. CLARK,
COMM IRSIO.X ICR'S CI.ERK, POBKST UO., PA.)
HEAL ESTATE AGENT.
HOUSES and Ix)ts for Bale and REN'p
- Wild Ituds for Salo. i-
1 have superior facilities for ascertaining
tue co)uiuon or taxos anil tax aeons, xo.
wil aiu th wo fore ijualitiod to tu't intellt
xiontly as aireut of thoso living at a di
4niw. awninu lands In the County.
OtUoa in CominitwMiioi-s ltoum, Court
Siouso, TUMieeta, l a.
-41-ly. . D.W.CLARK
MEW BILLIARD ROOMS!
DJOI VIN'U the Tlonesta House, at the
J mouth of Tiouosta troek. lhotabli
and room are new, and everything kept in
order. To lover of the ramo a cordial
invitation i extended to coins and play
in the new room.
ti IT t.f ii. T. LATIMER, I.eee,
WM. F. BLUM,
BLACKSMITH
AND
WAGON-MAKER.
i ; I Corner of Church and Elm Slrcota, i
TIOIsTESTA. PA.
Thla firm I prepared to do nil work In
II line, and will warrant everything done
at their nh"pa to itlve satisfiution. Pan
tlcular attention (riven to
iioiisuiior.iXG,
Dive them
It rot IU
trial, and you. will not re-lS-ly.
BLACKSMITH AND WftGON SHOP.
Till? umlerslfrned have opened a first
riasa lilneksniitli and Waon Hhip, In
the Rolmrta shop, opposite the Rural
House. All work in either line promptly
attended to, and MHtlsl'nction guaranteed.
IIormoMl&ovlng n Hi"Inlty
2i ly L. SPEARS A II. W. ROBERTS.
NEW HARNESS SHOP.
JUST op'ned In the Roberts Iliilldinfr op
posite the Rural House. The under
lined 1 tirensreU to do all kinds of work
In hi lino iu the'best style and on short
notice .
2f E W II AltNKSS
A fineelaltv. Koimon hand a fine asaort-
meiit of i urrv Comtm, Hrushcs, Harness
Oil, Whips and Saddles. Ilurness of all
kinila made to order and cheap a the
cheapest. Remember the nnme and plac
V, Vr..11, IIUIHTK UIHIUIIIIfi
22-ly Opposite Rural IIouso, 1 lonesta.
H. C. HARLIN,
IVIo rcli ant Tnilor,
IN The Ijiwaence Rnlldinir, over Super
ior Lumber Co. .Store. 'J'he best stock
kept constantly on hand, and made up in
the best manner and newest styles. lU-ly
9IKS.C. SI. IIKATII,
DRESSMAKER, Tionosta, Pa.
TV TRS.' HEATH ha- recently moved to
iti this place lor the purpose of ni"otinir
awaiitwiilch the ladios of the town mid
county have for a long time known, that
of having a dressmaker of cxperienee
umong th"m. I am prepared to make nil
kinds of dresses In the lu'cst styles, ami
Rtinrant4)e satisrai'tlon. Stamping tor braid
ing ami embroidery done In the best milli
ner with the newest patterns. All I ask
Isatalr 'rial, itr-uiteneo on M iner street
In tho house formerly occupied by Jacob
Shriter. 14U
' Frank tobbiuj,
PHOTOGRAPHER
(KUCTKSKOR TO DEMINO.)
Pictures ill every styloof the art. Views
of tho oil regions for sale or tukon to or
iter.
CENTRE STREET, neat- R, R. crossing.
8YCAMORE STREET, near Union Do
pot, till city, fa. zu-it
PHOTOGRAPH GALLERY,
ELMHTKKET,
SOUTH OF ROBINSON & BONNER'S
STOKE.
.Tionesta,
Pa., .
M. CARPENTER, - -
- Proprietor.
""-vtri'g-...!
Picture taken in all tho latest style
the art. W-tf
NEW JEWELRY STORE
Iu Tiouosta.!
M. SMITH,
WATCHMAKER & JEWELER,
At SUPERIOR STORE.
ALL WORK WARRANTED.
A Large and Superior Stock of '
WutollO,
Clocks,
audJewelry,
CONSTANTLY ON HAND.
TR. SMITH ha tine machinery for
Lti. making all parts of a watch or clock
that may be missing or broken. He war
rants all his work. The patronage of the
citizeus of forest County is most rospect
fully solicited. All he ask is a fair trial.
4tf
ADVERTISERS send 25 cents to Geo.
P. Howell .0 Co., 41 Park Row, N. Y.,
for their Elghtv-pago Pamphlet, show ing
t nf adveriHing, S 4t
' . t m m
DEAD LETTERS.
A short space nf two days and liil
vocation would commence. Two weeks!
Hut two weeks were two years of fun,
two centuries of real enjoyment, two
eternities of rest, compared to the con
stant rlrng, drag, in tluit lonely busi
ness which took up all his day hours
in work, and nil 1) is night hour in
I reams. Two weeks away from the
constant reading of letters which were
written for other-eye than his I How
he ever got into the Dead Letter Office
he couldu' uy, and how he ever staid
there without growing wild to tho ex
tent of puling out all his hair and
ramming pens into his hrown eves, he
couldn't tor the life of him letl. He
had staid on two years, and wad much
honored, in a small way, as a' skillful
clerk iir the department. lie couldn't
tell why again, i In fact, his career
was A series of "couidn't-tell-whyg,"
which, however, were the cnejs to the
wheels which kept his life agoing.
Casual Ob?eiver might have told why
he was considered one of the best
clerks in the department, and said
Observer might have remarked that it
was because he I here I 1 ve got just
so far without using a name, anil I
hoped I'd get clear through the storv
without committing mvsell; but its
no use. I hese pronouns are terribly
exacting things, and I shall have to
get a inline for the "he'' before the
lat dash, or I shall he titmlile to pro
ceed any further. Well, Tom will do.
won t it ? lorn 8 a name, and there are
lots nf Toms in Waihiugtoii, and sev-
al Toms in the Dead Letter Office.
Now, then, we'll lake another start
with Tom and the Observer.
I say that the Observer would have
remarked that it (go buck a few lines
for the explanation of the "it") was
because lorn had a very tender heart
id his possession. A tad thing.to have
a tender heart when you're dealing
with persons, they sav. Tom thought it
was. sadder when dealing with letters.
Ue would choke htty tunes each 'day
while reading some earnest, heart-felt
epistle which, despite the love and
hdclitv a mothers hand had buried iu
the lilies, had miscarried, nor would
over reach a dear son's eyes. Or per
haps it was a lathers strong call
strong in tears and strong in love
which would never bring back to the
home-fold a straying daughter.
The letters Tom read with a heart
ache, which spread like neuralgia, and
somehow filled his whole body with an
untold pain, were by' the thousand a
year; but his interest iu the sad cases
was never flagging, and ho always
made a good push to have the letters
which came from' loving hands lor
loved ones take one more chance of
reuching their destination. If Tom's
successes had each been a block of
granite, the Washington Monument
would have been completed over elev
en months ago. " -Tom
was to have two weeks vaca
tion -two weeks, commencing in two
davs. He wasn't often idle; but this
morning he held one of a batch of let
ters epistolatory corpses and sat
thinking of any thing but his work
Where should he go in vacation 7
There was no mother or brother, or
sisier waiting for him to come home
There were uo kisses of welcome wait
ing for him among green hills, or by
pleasant, shining waters. Where should
iiegoT lleighul He couldn't make up
his mind. With a shake, like a cut
awaking, he came buck to bis work
and gazed on the cue letter froiu many
in a pile beiore bun be had semi utioon
sciously taken up. The direction ol
the letter was as follows :
. , Miss Clara F. Bennett,
Ht Albans,
Vermont
The post-mark bore the name of
Providence, Kliotle Island, and dale
of July 20. On the other side of the
envelope was a pretty monogram of
three letters, f. II. W. or W. U.
or II. W. F , or some combiuutiuu,
lum could decide which, bo he open
tho letter and read :
"Claba, My heart is nigh break
ing. May I not come back? I was
wholly wrong; but my love for yuu
made me unreasonably exacting and
uuwilliog to yield, torsive me, tor
lleuveu's sake, and say I may come
to you. I will wail for one week more
in Providence to bear from you. Do
write. Ftut'K
Nodule aud no signature. "Just
like a man iu love I" said Tom. ''The
only thing sell led is that the first let
ter of that monogram is an i, a blue
P. That doesu't amount to uy thing
I don't kuow the second letter I
mean which it is." Somehow he was
led to put the letter oue side instead
of throwing it iu the waste receptacle,
He thought he'd like to look at that
monogram once more, it was such
pretty one.
five, six, seven, eight, nine more
letters read, aud nothing iu the shape
ol business yet. JVumber ten : iSuin
her ten was a small, delicate hand,
directed a follows:
Mr. Frank IT. Wendell,
iSt. Albans,
Vermont
This letter bore date of July 21, and
post-mark Fitcliburg, Massachusetts.
Tom had quite forgotten for the mo
ment the other St. Al bans letter, but
of a sudden he cried to.'himself,"IIul
lo! St. Albans is full of business to
day!" .. ,.' v
"My Dear Frank, I only hope
you have gone back to St. Albans, for
Heaven alone knows how else this I
may reach you. I take my only
chance, it seems to me, left for happi
n ss. I must write since toy heart
will not let me sit longer and leed on
my own srrw without breaking.
Dear, since you went away from me
on that sad, sad night, not oue mi.
meut of peace, no day when a song
was nle.isaut to hear, no day wh?u I
could sit silently glad, has come to
me. Ouly longing for you I was prond.
aud angry that yon ei.uld : not trust
tue; mid though I could easily have
explained, I would not. I, for that
short half hour, believed I could bear
everything, since I bore harsh words
(a they then seemed). Now I know
I was wrong. Darling, will you not
write to tner just one word to
forgive me, and, if you caa, say
still love me? Shall I never see,
again? Dear heart, I was never
thing but true to you, aud that I
yon
you
you
uny
can
show you if you will come to me or
let me write to you. Will you not
write to me? Just one letter, and 1
will bless you each day I live, if God
makes me live a thousand yefers.
"Always being. I am still, ouly
jours, "Clara F. Dennett,
"Wallace St., Fiu hburg.
c. 1 am with mv cousin, pass
iug the summer, and, unless I litar
from you, trust I may never return to
St. Albans."
"By Jove!" said Tom. "here are
two which go together. Wherels that
other letter? Yes I As I'm a poor lone
ly morlai, I've got the two in a heap,
and now' I must deal them a new
hand." (Tom was rather given to
playing curds; therefore his language.)
So he put the two aside, aud left them
in a closer union as letters thuti they
had beeu as beings. If Tom bad beeu
mesmerist or a believer in mesmer
ism, he would have probably wondered
if the joining nf thoso two letters
would have any influence on t; e day's
lite ot the two writers. As he wusu t,
he didn't; i. e , wasn't a mesmerist or
believer, he didn t wonder ; he ouly
commenced to form a plati for Ins va
cation. The commencing ended half un
hour after bis day s work was over,
"1 m going to providence day alter
to-morrow, Mrs. Wilkins, said loin,
that evening, to his landlady.
''On, business, Mr..- , lomr' ' (Of
course she didn't sav "Mr. Tom," but
it will do just as well.)
"Iso in; its my vacation.
"I hope you'll have a nice time."
"Mv trust is in Providence," said
Tom, a little irreligiously, but he
could't resist the pun. "And I've al
ways wanted a clum-buke, and thev
do say there's no spot nu tho earth for
a clum-buke life the little buck-yard
they call Khode Island."
Day after to-morrow became to-diiy,
and Tom started.
Kre long Tom has smoked a whole
cigar, aud got several miles on his
way to ward Providence, Uhode Is
land. A quest he calls :t ; an attempt
to find out Frank H. Wendell, anil
then to re introduce him to Clara F.
Dennett. He lived with these two all
his journey. Clara had blue eyes and
fair hair, he was confident; Frank
wore a slight mustache and was rather
thin, be was certain ; and so he buiit
up two imaginary persons, and even
found himself foolishly trying to fit
his imaginations ou two ftllow travel
ers. Providence at last. Hotel a few
moments after. Tea after dressing.
Plenty of time, thought Tom ; aud he
didn't go out that night. There was
no harm iu a brief perusal of the C:ty
Directory, however; and so Tom stood
at the hotel counter and monopolized
the Directory chained to the marble.
"W a W er-W e n W-e-n-d-Wen-do.
1. Here il is," said Tom, mutter
ing to himself. There were a few
Wendells, but no Frank or Francis
H., not even a simple Frank or Fran
cis. "Do you know a Frank Wendell?"
queried Tom of the hotel clerk.
No, he didn't, Ihut clerk answered,
after he hud got through staring at
Tom.
"Who'd he likely to know a young
man-about the city?" again asked
Tom.
Well (second long stare), the clerk
thought he Cthe clerk) would, and he'd
never heard of Frank Wendell or uny
other Wendell, excent an old muu
who sometimes came round to buy
buttles of the hotel. That wasn't the
oue the geutlemaa meant, was it ?
Tom thought not.
up
standing, fro he went to bed. - '
Next morning he had another look
at the letters. The delicately written
one gave him no clew for the present.
Certainly the other didn't. Tom put
tbtmi'both tin ' the 'mantel piece '- and
turned t brush his hair at the mirror
(a two-hy-one anil a-half bit of a looking-glass).
WhXe Tom's auburn lock
were being "fixed" a nbe little gust of
wind "unfixed" them ; but at lust his
Imir was dresned. Tom turned to take
the letters and "Confound it, if they
hu-ven't tumbled
into the pitcher of
water I" There was such a receptacle
mi 1 lie lahle under the mantle-piece.
Now I hnift dry them', I suppose.
Just i.,v cursed luck!" He look them
ou to dty land, :the shipwrecked let
ters, a d patted litem gently with a
towel. The monogrHin lettg had been
cut open at one end, hut the wafer had
loosened the flap, aud it easily turned
back.
"Mean 'stickum' they put on Ihrse
envelopes," said Tom I and then he
paused to rend tne maker s name. Uu
the edge of tho envelope in raised let
ters was the following, "W. A. John
son, in lilunk street, "lij the blood
of all the. Howards! cried lorn,
"I've got it. If my friend, my dear
friend, new found, Johnson doesn't
know for whom he made that mono
gram, lie u better sell out aud go into
the fish trade. J'eradvetitura I call at
51 Blank Street to-day."
. Tom did call. ;
Mr. Johnson was in?
"Yes,? said a nice girl who waited
on Tom, aud he'd be down in a mo
ment. Johnson came, and Tom asked him
a question or two. Johnson said, iu
substance: '
"I made that monogram for Mr.
Wendell some time since, and he was
then living with an uncle I think he
told me at" (consulting an old order
book V "No. 17 Siiand-so Street. At
any rate, there's where the paper wus
sent. ,
Tom immediately ordered a mono
gram for himself out of pure gratitude
He then called at No. 17. Mr. Wen
dell had been stuvlnir there, but had
left three days oefore for Bostoli
Servant didn I know whereabouts in
Boston. She would inquire of misses.
(Jo mine buck servant said misses
thought at Treinont House, if h
hadn't goue to New X'ork.
"On the way to Fiuhburg," sen
tenuously said Tom, aud took the next
tram for ISoston.
Mr. Wendell was -stopping there,
said the clerk of the fremont House.
"Here I . show the geuileiuun to No.
85 "
No one in. ' , ; ?"
Tom wailed around an hour, walk
ed over the burned district, and came
back. .Mr. Wendell had returned and
was in his room. -Tom -wont to No.
85. aud knocked.
"Come in !" aud in he went, to find
a young man with a full beard, tail,
and uuite stout.
"So much for my fancy," said Tom
to himself. "She'll be fat aud a bru
nette."
"This is Mr. Wendell?"
queried
Tom.
VYcs, Sir," was the reply,
mv continuing: "'V toilette."
"Excuse
"Mr. Frank Wendell?" asked Tom
to make certain.
"Yes. sir: Frank Wendell
Then Tom went to the very bottom
of the mutter, and said:
"I come from a friend of yours
Mis Dennett" (how Wendell blushed
and theu turned pale!); "she s also
particular friend of mine (though she
don t know it, said loin, sotio vote)
"and she would like very much, if you
can spare the tune, to have you
on her. She's living at Filchburg
aud"
"For God's sake, when does the
next train S'url? and Vteudeil was
rusliiiiL' down stairs, and crabbing
"Dial" railroad sheet in less thun
four seconds. Time enough there was
and a little bag was soon racked
Tom thought ha'd go down to Fitch
hurg too lo see the thing out; aud
they went down together. 'I hey went
over to Wallace Street, and hit the
house after three trials. To in wou
wait in the hull he thought, torn
heaid one scream, two kisses, a rush
and several other things too numerous
to mention, and was ou the' point
crawling nut of the front door when
the heavy hand of Wendell was laid
ou his shoulder.
"Come in aud explain this thing
She suys she never heard of you b
fore !"
"No more has she?" said Tom
luuuhitic:: aud sealing himself ou the
sola, he explained the whole affair,
I'm not, certaiu; but I believe, C'a
ra kissed him. At all events, few days
alter ho went buck to Washington a
happy fellow, having made others so
happy. . .
That was a year ago nearly. Casual
Observer told me a day or two since
that Tom had received cards to the
Tom was manifestly hronghl
wedding of F. II. Wendell and Clar
F. Dennett, to come off a week from
next Monday, and also that Tom had
been corresponding for some time with
Miss Lmma Deiinett.asistir of Clara s.
Furthermore, Casual said, "If too
want to hear two people rave in praise
t another lellow. you ihould hear Miss
Dennett and Mr. Wendell talk about
Tom.", : -
MHOWIMG TBI ROYS) HOW TO ftllOOT.
Recently, at a saloon on the Divide,
some men were disciifsitig the shooting
affray which occurred durinc the
morning between the two brothers-in-
law,' Fallmau and Smith. It" Was
greed on all huuds that it was shock
ing; bad shooting a discredit to the
counlry. At last a 1'ioche roan ban
tered a Comstock man, whom he knew
to be a good shot with a pistol, - to co
put iu the back yard with him and do
some shooting, just to show the '.'hoys'
now it should be done. In the saloon
was a box of eggs, and what the
Piocber.proposed was that esch shoot
two eggs off the bare head of the oth
er atihe distance of ten paces the one
missing to treat the crowd. 1 he Com-
tocker was hound not to be bluffed by
a mau from the other end of the State,
i to the back yard all hands adiourn-
eJ. Km cb man used hisowu six-shooter.
The CotiiBtocker first ''busted"
his egg on top of the Piocher's head,
which exploit was loudly applauded
by all present. ' . It was then the - Pio
cher's turn to shoot, and an egg was
produced to be placed upon the head
of the Comstocker, but when he re
moved his hat there was a great laugh,
lor U'.e top ot Ins head was as smooth
as u billiard ball, for lull ten min
utes all hands tried in vain to make
an egg stand ou his head. It couldn't
be June.' Iha riocher then taunted
the Comstocker with having gone into
the arrangement knowing that ho was
sate, the latter told him to set up
an rgg and it was all right he was
there. Ihe riocher went into the sa
loon, and a moment after came out
with a small handful of flour, which
he duubed upon the bald head of the
Comstocker, and then triumphantly
plauted in it his egg, fell- back ten
leps, and then knocked it 'oft. Iho .
Comstocker then told him to set up
his second egg and shoot at it, as he
didn't want to have his head chalked
twice during the ganre. This was doue
and the wrack of a second egg stream
ed over the Corustocker's pate. The
P.ocher now stood out with his last
egg on nil head, the Uomstocker
raised Ins pistol and fired. Ihe rio-
clier bounded a yard into the air, and
the egg bounced whole from his head.
"I've i lost," si id the Comstocker.
"Let's all come aud take a driuk. By
a slip I've put half the w.dth of my
bullet through ihe top of his left earl"
and so ii proved upou measurement.
iryinia Lnlerpruie.
"Henry," said one Quaker to anoth
er "thee kuows I never call anybody
names; but, Henry, if the Governor
of the State should come to me and
say, "Joshua, I want thee to find roe
the biggest liar in the State of New
York, I would come to thee ami say,
Henry, the Governor wants to see
thee particularly.' "
A small boy ca'led at a Detroit po
lice station, aud desired to steal some
thing, so that he might be sent to the
reform school. 'J he accommodating
sergeant laid do u his pocket-bonk
aud went up-slaire. The boy took the
property and left, hut has probably
found a more congenial place than a
reform school.
During a secret session 6f the Chi
cago Bourd of Commissioners one of
the members was astonished to see aa
augur-tip projecting through the car
pet, and, upon instituting an examina
tion, found that a party of reporters
hail bored through from the cellar for
the purpose of hearing what wussaid.
"Do you like to go to church?" said
a lady to Mrs. Partington. "Law me,
I do," replied Mrs P., "nothing dues
me so much good as to get up curly
Sunday morning and go to church
and hear a populous minister dispense
with the gospel."
Girls, don't get up aud get break
fast in the morning. A young lady
attempted it one duy lust . week, and
was burned to death. Show this to
your ma's.
"I want to know," said & creditor,
fiercely, "when yon are going to pay
me what you owe me?" "I give it up,
replied the debtor, "ask me something
eusy."
A Cincinnati wife employs her hus
band us head clerk in her store, and
sl e makes him toe the mark under
tlireuls of beiur discharged.
In character, in manners, in style,
lu all things, the supreme excellence
i kitnnlicit v.
1 j-
True friendship is like sound health.
The -value of it is seldom known until
it is l"M.
m . "