i Pf ItMftltF.D r.VEIlT WKMNrWDAY, BY
W. 71. DUNN.
rncB m robihrow 4 bonnf.r'8 buildino,
EM BTREET, TI0NE3TA, FA.
TERMS, $2.00 A YEAR.
N Suliwcrlptlonm rcnlvod tor a shorter
period thiHi throo mouths.
OorresHinde)ico mollcltod from all purl
f tlio country. No notion will bo tukon of
nniKinymona nommtiuicalinns.
CUSINESS DIRECTORY.
TI0NE3TA LODGE
Ao. 3fi,
I.O. ofO.F.
Friday evening, at. 8
i 1 o'clock, In die Hull formerly occupied
by the I iooil templars
w. r.
DUNS, N. O.
27-tr.
O. W
. SAW Y Kit, Ne"y.
w
P. Morcllllott,
T'I'OIIXKV
AT LAW, cor.
T'.ltn nml
f Walnut Six., Tionesta,
l'u. 1 Imvo
i . . :i I . . t IllVscI Willi ll.UI. A. I). JliCll
mood, of Meadville, Fa., In tin- practice of
law Hi l'.r;-iit county. i"-iy
Samuri D. Irwin,
TTOHNKY,COI'XSF.I,I.OH AT LAW
J nml REAL KSTATK AUIINT. I.riml
huslnoss promptly attended to. Tioiinsta,
Fa. '-!
. KKWTn riCTTlM.
Ml LI'S VT.JATK.
PETTI J A TATE,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
fkl Strcrt,
Wrf MjioII,
TlOyKST.i, PA.
Gcorro A. Jmks,
TUMV P. Brouvlll. C.
Mason A Jerks,
TTORXKYS AT LAW. OITleo on Rim
V Street, above Walnut, Tiuuostn, l'H.
F.W.Hays,
A TToRN 1? Y AT LAW. and Notary
A Pi'tiLIO, Reynolds 11 uk ill it Co.'s
l:ntU, Ssneeo St.", Oil City, Pa. 3!-ly
r. KlMiCKAII.
p. n. MILKY
K 1SSKA It t SM IL r. r,
Attorneys at Uw, - Franklin, Pa
IJKACT1CK In the several Conrta of Ve
anno. Cra ford. Foro.st. nml adjoin
tii tvmntlo. S!-ly,
ll. MARH1. D. D. TASSKTT,
. '.. ' IIAKIUSA FAHSETV,
',onca at 'tiRW, TltnevlUo Penn'a,
PRACTICE In nil lh ComU of Warren
1 Crav(rd, forest and X enanjjo i umi
k. 1
- J. H. Hcivly,
OEIldF.OX DENTIST. In Schnnblom
O Rulldini. between Coutre and Nyca
i..nUta fill L'tiv
All oratioiia tlone in a careful manner
ami wairantud. Chloroform ami ether ad
ministered when reuuired if tao oa will
.pniinit. '
CENTRAL HOUSE,
T0NXK11 A AGNKW KlHTK. W. A
1) Hi la mux. Lohiuw. Tin ia b now
home, and lia just been tilted up for the
acioininnilnliu,ir of the publ ii'. A portion
of Oin iatron;,' f tli public la aolloitod
.i-jy
Lawrerc House,
r'PIONKftT.V. I'A.. WILLIAM LAW
L HKNt'K. rHOPKIKion. Ttiis- Uouw
la poiurallv lornti-il. KvorvtUinn new ami
w')l furnlwlioil kiunerior lUTiiinni'Kbi'
tiona ami ulriot altontlon si von to ttueabt,
1 A'mralabliM ami Fruitu of nil kimU unrveil
bi liirir hoiivhi. Saniplo I'liom fur Com
ineiciiil Aftont.
' FOREST HOUSE,
fA Hl.AC'K PKOPIUHTOR, Opposito
! (Vint. Ilouso, Tinncstn, l'a. Jimt
inipii'ul. . livurvtlilnir now nml cluan and
froli. TliC bo.it of liijuora kept oontantly
on liaiiil. A portion ol inn puuiio parron
n i ri'ip?tfull v solicited. 4-17-lv
TloiU'St.t House.
T. LATIMER Lowaa, Elm St. . Tl-
nri, ta.
ra., ut tlio ni'iulhof thocvook,
Mr. Im ban thoroughly rcnoralod tho
Tiimnsti tloiian, nml re-I'uriiiKhoil it oom
flrtoly. All wlui patroniz.o him will bo
well ,'nUrlaiiioll at roanouable rate. 37 ly
WulxT House. i
YLERsr.rnnn.FA. c. n. vkdi:ii,
1' no I' Kit: roll. Mr. idirr has attain
l.ikc,n jMiwMHion of Hum well-known Iiohho
nml will be happy to entertain all his old
filstoineis, and any number of new ones.
loud ai'uoiniiioilations lor gut-.ts, and ex
ei'Hent Htnli!iii. . 10-Sm.
National Hotel, "
p;DI(il' rE, PA., Uon.l. Elliott, pronrie
L tor. Thin house lias Leon newly fUrn.
ili.l and is kept in icood style, (iuusls
will b lua lo eoinforta'ile here ut reai-ona-V4e
rates. ' 9 ly.
Di-. J. I Aco;vb,
I H YSICf AX AND SVR: EON, who has
I bad fifteen years' experience In a larurt
nud Hiieix'snf ii prucliie. will attend all
t'rorrssiiuial (.'nils. (.HI ice in his Drug and
Oroeery Store, loeated In Tidioute, near
Ti llouto Houu.
IN 1HS (STORE WILL BE FOUND
A full assortment of Modieines, Liquors
Tobi. i'o, Cigars, .Stationery, CI lass. Paint.
-I'.N. Cutlery, all of the best quality, and
will bo sold' at reasonablo rate..
Hit, ( HAS. O. DAY. nil oxperieneod
l riijuii ian and Drmoist from New York,
has c!iii io of the Sl'in.'. All proscriptions
pnt i'p an'uratel v.
A. B. KKLLY.
JC CO.,
B -A. JSC IK CE S
: r orner of Klni A "Walrml St. Tiencfcta.
Bank of Distmunt and Deposit.
"Inlorost allowpd on Time Deposits.
! lc"'inn madeouall thePiiimipal points
of iho v. a.
( Olitei-llells Hoiil'itod.
IS-ly.
FS"
NEW 0ILL!ARD ROOMS !
LJ('IN'IN(i the Ti.nmsta House, at the.
in iu li of 'l'loiiiv-ta Cror.tr. The table
and r uiiii are nei , anil e erylliin kept in
rd'T. Tit lox cr.-. ut' llin iiiiine a conlial
imitation is extended to mine an I plav
in Hie in m room.
M i.. T, LA TIM Ell. Lesi--".
lie
VOL. VII. NO. 11.
Dr. J. r.. Blaine,
OFFICE ami residence opposite thn
Lawrence Mouse. Office din s Wodncs-
uvs nml Saturdays, .wl-tf.
D. W. CLARK, .
(ooMMlio:En'f ct.ntK, korhht co., vs.)
1U1AL ESTATE A1 EXT.
HOUKKH and Lola for Salo and TH5NrP
Wild Ijinds for Salo. X .
I knv aunorior fni'llltles for nxr ortnininc
tlio condition of tnxnmuid tax doeila,
and am ttaornfore qualiflcd to art intolli
ppntly na ajjont of thorn living nt a dia-
tumo, owning launa in mo iohiiit.
Olllco In Coinmlajilonera Jlooui, ijoiin
Il'iusf), TlonfHta, Pa.
4-41-1 v. P. W. CLAUK.
riNE GROCERIES,
CHOICE CKIAIIH.TOIJACCO, C'ASSEI)
l'KLITS, STATIONERY,
AND NOTIONS,
fbr nae at J. II. Atnew'a St:C Hixirn, In
Ilonnvr A AKiiow'a Block.
FUF.SII OYSTERS, by the can or aojTtU
to order. 29 V.
Frank Itobblns,
PHOTOGRAPHER ,
(BUCCKBKOR TO' DKMINO.)
Plture Inevoryatyloofthpni t. View
of the oil rcgiona for sale or luken to or
dor. CEXTUE STREET, bear R, R, crossing.
SYCAMORE STREET, near Union Po
pot, Oil City, Pa. ( liO-tf
WM. Fw BLUM,
BLACKSMITH
AND
WAGON -MAKER.
Corner of Churvh and F.lui BtrecU,
i
TIOKBTA. 3? A.
Thla firm la praf aroil to do all work In
Its fine, and will warrant avorythiiig done
at ilirir uliopa to k'ivp nullsfai'liciii.' Par
ticular attention given to
iious.i:-isiioi:ixcj,
Olve them-a tritd, and yoa
Krtit. i
will
not re
13-lv.
PHOTO0RAPU GALLERY.
jL I- SI H T II E K T ,
BOWTIiroK ROH1NSON
... STORE.
A BONNER S
Tionosta,
CARPENTER, - -
I
Pa.,
M,
. Proprielor.
Pirtu res taken in all tho latest alyloa
the art.
W-tf
K. HLKIN,
TtiuofTK, Pa.
Dealer In
Fine Watches,
Clockt,
Jewelry,
Seattclci, tc.
All repnirins in
this line neatlv d "no
and warranted.. Pur
L ii-n 1 ii r altuii puid
'o tha repairing of
A'atehe.
A.TTJ2NTION" !
REMOVAL.
Wo wll( remove our stock of
1 1 AKOWA R I ., sIOVKS,
tixwAre, ir on, nails,
files, belting, and
i
SUPPLIES,
OX THE FIRST DAY OF AJ'RIli,
TO THE
i
Reynolds,' Hukill & Co. Block,
SENECA STREET,
mitil which time we will cell tA
COST FOll V A Nil.
II. O. TINKER A CO..OILCITY.
BUILDING FELT
fNe Tar used), for outsido work and in
iile, instoad of plaster. Fell Carputiims,
Am-., Svi:d I wo IWeolit stiunps for uiroular
and sampler. C. J. FaV, Camden, N. J.
I Hit WORK noiiili- exceiiti-1 at the RE
I'l I'l.lCAN OlUre.
x .mm,
T I ON EST A. VA.,
A c(i(iri:KsT(iwM:n on hoii.h.
All alllK'teJ person in Cooperslown,
New York, writes to the l'lainlieU
llegistcr, tlie following little ieco
about a Job that was put up on him :
Dkar Hkoihi er : Useless! useless !
If I've triad once 1 have trieil a dozen
times to nit down and write you a reg
ular old Bcalp-peclor and sky-scraper
of a letter.
It isn't lliut I lovr Ctivnr less I
meant it isn't tliut I am unnblu to do
the mental part o," tho proposition
beautifully, fctit it is that I am unable
to sit down.
How common the written sentence:
I sit down to pen a few lies I mean
inea. etc. liut bow much unwritten
anguish may result from the attempt!
J low eludly l wotiifj sar4ti i
could : It is with pleMlre, dear Iieg-
isicr, that I sit downAo aunounco to
you tho ariral of- rl boy, etc.
- liul, good gous, now can l ;
Th i' thought of sitliug down liiakes
me Don.
The thougiit of the boil prevent-my
siUiti''.
Tho fact of the buil makes me mad.
Aud tho not of sitting makes me leap
like unto the hurried sky-rocket.
hv, mv love, 1 linveti t sat down
in live weeks or anything else to
stavi
I am a in st miserable, miserablo
man.
Along at first I tried to d) my writ
ing fur the Atlantic Monthly (sh !) at
my desk, but becoming absorbed in
thoughts of thoso things that are be
fore, and forirctliuE those thing which
are bcliiud, I would pull forward my
tall desk slooi and settle. J lien 1
would unsettle, quick.
Aud there would follow a prolonged
and diurnal howl of pain, a wild
trampling to and fro ; one arm waving
liko our banner in tho 3ky and the
other holding tho pantaloons awav
from the young volcano.
So behold mo now, supported tinder
my arms by my Revolutionary grand
mother's quilling frame?, which reach
from piano to mantle, piece; with a
pair of light summer trousca ou, which
are kept distended and uway from that
boil by a fish hook, a cord and a sta
ple in the wall all drawn taut.
And yet I am not happy.
Why, if U. S. Treasurer Spinner
should say to me, "here, George, sit
down on this half cord of greenbacks,
aud they are yours," I should answer,
"go 'way, Spinner; I don't want your
ducats. I am not hungry. 'Tend to
your own 'knitting, I know my busi
ness. My wife says my nfljiction ouht to
develops any religious tendency that
mar lay dormant in me. She thinks
it has. In the early stages of my suf
ferings she says she awoke one- tilent
night ami heard inc. she was sure,
qiiolingeScripture and Watts' hymns.
T-iord love her ! but I wasn't, you
know. I was doing tho other thing,
i. c, reciting from profaue history
from that part where the D-umorites
poured red hot pitch down upon tho
ilatnsc-U who crossod the daio just
whoro the lordly Tiber was dam'd near
the gates of Hellespont.
"George," said she softly, some time
afterward, "George, I am afraid I was
mistaken tho other night. I now be
lieve that yuur language, which I hope
fully and joyfully thought to bo the
expression of a contrite and grace
seeking soul, was shearing! Why, oh
why dear, dost thou not think more
often of redetoptiou and you latter
end-"
"Thunder, madam !" I screamed,
"you don't know what you are talking
about. Think of my latter end? I'm
always thinking of it. I couldn't for
get it if I wad steeped in oblivion, or
surrounded with cotton bales! Why,
I was telling a funny story to a party
tho other day, aud ho comes up to me,
and he says: 'Old man, that was a
bully thing; yon ought to be a minis
ter,you ouht. You could mak a con
.congregation cry by tell in' of 'era a
joke,' and then he flapped tue on the
thigh on the thigh, woman on which
Ann Guish and Miss Lry hold a first
mortgage! Think of redemption !
Why, female, did you give half tho
.attention to keeping the lumps out of
my poultice that i do in pondering on
tho Allusions, of that old liiblo scholar,
Job, who used to soar so in blank
tfwse, you'd be bcttef and a richer
wife!"
Withered, she wept.
. I. wai sufieued 1
those tears unmoved
could not see.
What male
could? I approached herns she sat
rockiu to und Do in her chair.
"JJearest," I murmured, "why thoso
weeps? Unit t cry. I am sorry I said
anything when 1 spoke. Too bad, too
bad! 1 am a brute, u bear, burglaar,
dentist, a dishonest thief. Forgive me
mo who would not give your heart
a pang for the wholo round .world
Let's kiss and forget, ducky," and J
playfully fat down on Jier la". ohe
had it bunch of keys, a -drawer knob,
ir: i
JUNE 10, 1871,
and a smelling bottie in her pocket.
I sat down ou those.
On those I sat.
On the bottle, the knob, tho keys, I
sat down.
r-.mall but nctivo bovs jeer at me
through tho window. 1 have no peace.
I am a wreck.
I would not live always,
1 wouldn't If I could ;
But there ain't no uso of lalkii
For I couldn't if I would.
Geoiiob.
tiik kkvii, HFn. .
The Brighton Aquarium is the ptes
cut home fif a sea-devil caught lately
in um) channel near Jlastmus. this
'monster iish is of a ducky brown col
or; tadpolo shaped, that is, all head
and shoulders. It ie about fivo feet in
length, and some three feet across at
the flappers. The mouth at once ar
rests attention. It stretches literally
right across the creature's -face, and
when closed as much n3 it ;can bo, it
measure nineteen inches. At the
edge of each jaw are two or three rows
of teeth, hard, strong, and pointed, set
.like the prongs of a rat-trap, thoso of
the lower jaw directed obliquely in
ward ; ahd once '.nterlocked upon prey
escape would be hopeless. It is, how
ever, when open, that tho enormous
capacity of tho fish's mouth is aopar
cut. If the fish chose to strain a point
a four and a half gallon barrel might
be got into it. At all events, it is cir
cular shaped, over a foot in diameter,
nnd littte less than two feet deep. The
fish is very rapacious; and had. not
nature endowed it with a special con
tnvatice lor procuring food, it woul
faro badly, being but a slow swimmer.
lo this coutnvnuce it owes its name,
tho "Angler" Fuji. On the top of the
head; between the eyes and mouth, are
two tendrils, each about a foot in
length, ono having at its end a fleshy
substance which serves as a bait
When angling fur a meal, tho Devi
Fish covers itself pai tly beneath the
sand und weeds, hoists these tendrils
and bides his time. I3y and by in
cautious rovers are lured by tho bait
then the fish its eyes being capabl
of looking almost iu every direction
"reviews the situation," gets his body
by a special action into position, the
cnoruious mouth opens, aud seizes its
prey.
The following story may not be the
"newest but it is good : A revolution
ary soldier was running for Congress
and Ins opponent was a vomit; man
who had "never been to the wars,
and it was the custom of old revolt!
tionary to tell of the hardships he had
endured. iMiid lie;
"Fellow-citizens I have fought ani
bled fur my country. I helped to whip
the I3ntinh and tho Indians. 1 have
slept ou tho field of battle with
other covering thaji the canopy of
heaven. I have walked on the frozen
ground till every footstep was marked
with blood
Just about this iime ono of the sov
creigns, wh had became greatly inter
estcd.iu bis talc of sufi'eriugs, walked
up in fiont of tho speaker, wiped his
tears from his eyes with tho extremity
of his coat-tail, nnd interrupted him
with:
"Did you say you fotit the British
und inj tins r
"l es, sir.
"Did "you say you slept on tho
ground whilo serving vour country,
without any kivcr?" '.
"I did."
"Did you say your feet kivered the
ground you walked over with blood?"
"Ycs. v replied the speaker cxulting-
"Well, then," suid the tearful sover
eign, a he gave a sigh ot emotion,
"I guess I w 1 1 1 vote tor tho other
fellow, for I'll bo blamed if you ain't
done ouough for your country,"
Connecticut papers record tho death
at frestoa, iu ihut State, of an eccen
tric man named Kix Kudo, at the age
of eighty. He had lived in almost to
tal seclusion on a farm which had been
in the possessiou of tho faro lily since
1GG2, aud the original deed of which,
given by Onecu, son of the Indian
Chief Uucas, is still preserved, bear
ing for its signature a rough picture of
a turkey, which wag Uncca ssign man
ual. Uude would never sell any bay,
ar.d there are several stacks upon tho
market place scores of years old,
through tome of which trees have
sprung up, anj iu tho barn was a
quantity of hay lifty-five ytars old,
which was fresh and excellent, and
met with a ready sale at auction. He
was a man of remarkable freedom with
his money, and lost thousands of dol
lars by dishonest borrowers, but iu
paying a debt ho was so exact that ho
once went two miles to get exact
chauge, when only ono cent was re
quired to complete tho bargain. Ho
loft a fortune of about 810,000.
A gentleman caught cold by Listing
a lady's snowy brow.
$2 PER ANNUM.
AN INVINCinl.K HANI.
Durine tho session of the United
States District Grand Jury, a witness
was called before them named hcipio
Choteau, a half-breed Creek Indian
and negro, bright, sharp, and intelli
gent. J Ie was the last witnesa to be
called before adjournment that day.
After examination somo one of tho
Grand Jury who knew him aiked him
if he was the man who had four aces
beaten.
He answered, "Yes, sab ; I's do
man.
"Will vou have any objection to
telling it?"
"I so afeared it will col me into
trouble; but if do Judge is willin',"
appealing the foreman, "I will tell
it."
The Judge
constated, then bcipio
said :
"You see I lives on the cattle trail
from Texas ihrntifrh the Creek country
to Kansas, and l was out on dot. road
one day, and I meets a geutloman
ahead of a big drove of cattle.
"He says, 'Old man, do you live inlgpose'n there is, what's that to you?"
dis country?'
"I says, ' es, sab..
"lie says, 'It s a mighty poor coun-
try. J low do you make ahvin r
I says, "bah, tis pooty good coun
try; we has plenty meat and bread,
and I makes a good Hvin a
Says lie, 'Uid man, do you ever
play' kerds?'
1 says, 'les, sah ; 1 does, some
times.
"lie says, 'Would vou have any
objection to nlay a littlu draw?
I says, '.No, sah.
5o wo gets oil' our horses along
sido do road, and sat down, and I pulls
out tho kerds. Well, in a short time
I beat de gentle nan out of sixty-two
dollars and fought I had him ; so I
puts up a hand on him for I is, do 1
say it myself, a mighty smart hand at
kerds and I know d he would have
tree jacks and I would hab tree aces,
and iu do draw I know'd he would ait
de oder jack and I would git do o !er
ace. co he raises a bit, ui.d X raises
ou-back, till at last I put up all de
money I had wiuncd from do ge.ntlo
mac, and all de chango I had, aud I
know d 1 had bun. Well, in uu draw
de gent got do odcr j.tck and I got de
oder ace. Do gent wanted to bet, but
I claimed a sight for de money, and I
told him I had an jijwineible hand Oat
couldn't bo beat.
Says he, 'Olo man, dem is right
good britches you lsgotou ; how much
lid dey cost
"1 says, 'les, sah ; dey cost mo ten
dollars.'
"Says he, 'I put ten dollars up ngin
Jem
I says, Berry well, sah ; but I tells
you 1 got a inniucible hand.
"He puts Up dc money, nnd I holds
up my legs aud he pulls nil' de britches
and lavs dem down
Now, sah,' says I, 'I told vou I
had a inwiucible hand. 1'so trot fo'
aces.
I)c gent says, 'Ulo man, did vou
ever hear of" fivo jacks beaten' lo'
aces:
"I eay3, 'I'sc heard it, sah, but I'se
never seed it; aud if you couwince me
ob it, de money s you i n.
" Uerrv well, he says, luyitr down
one kcrd ; 'ain't dat do jack ob dubs?'
Yes, sah,' I says, 1at um do jack
ob clubs.'
"Ho lays down auoder kerd ;
dat de jack ob spades?'
'Ain't
" 'Yes, sah, dat is do jack ob spades.'
"He lays down anodor ; 'Aiu t dat
do jack ob diamond;?'
" ''e, sah, dat is do jack ob Jia
minds.' "He puts down unodcr nnd .says,
'Ain't dat de jack ob hearts?''
"I says, 'Yes, sah, dat am de jack ob
hearts.'
"Den ho ruua bis hand in bis bosom
aud pulls out a great, long pistol and
points it at ine und says, 'Ain't dat
jack haul ?'
"I says, 'Yts, sah.'
"And he says, 'Ain't dat five junks?
and don't dat win do money?'
'I says, 'Yes, sah, dat is Jack Haul,
and dat is five jacks, and five jacks
Units an iiiwincibld hand.'
"So he puts do money in his pocket
and ties my britches on 'hind ob his
saddle, and tells me to scatter and 1
did.
"You see, it served mo right, for I
tought de man was a green Miiourian
when I nut up do hand ou him ; hut he
was a Arkausaw chap, and I find dem
mighty sharp, Judge."
The above is vouched lor by the
foreman and several members of tho
Grand Jury as fact evory word of it.
Fort Smith Herald.
An Oltuinwa, Oregon, paper says:
"During tho wiud storm the other day
KicharJ Warden, of the Courier, lust
his hat, which went whirling into space,
or rather into a mud-holo. Kichmd,
however, was equal to tho occasion. He
simply crossed his ears ov-r his' head
and bid deliuuco to tho storni."
.Rates of Advertising.
One Rquare (1 Inch,) ono lnertion ft M
OnoHquarn " one month - -3 00
Ono .Square " three months - l 00
Ono Hquare " one year - 10 00
Two sjquai es, one year - - 11 vn
; Quarter Col.. " - - - HO 00
Half " - . do oo
Ono " " - - 190 M
l.iffat notice-mat established ratos.
Marriage and death notices, pratim.
All bills for yearlr advertisements ml-
leeted quarterly.. Temporary advertise
ments must be paid for in advanoo.
Job work, Cash on Delivery.
! . I . . JH
im iii:nt in ciiikcii.
'
We have already mentioned tlutt
old Mr. Collumove, who goes to our
church, i3 very deaf. Last Sunday,
in tho midst of tho services, Mr. llofl.
who sits immediately behind Mr. Col
in more, saw a spider traveling over
the latter s bald head. JIis first im
pulse was to nudge him and tell him
about it ; but he remembered that
Collamoro was deaf, so he lifted up
his hand and brushed tho spider ofl.
Hod' didn't aim quite high enough,
and consequently, he hit Collamoro
quite a sovere blow; the old man
turned around in a rn;ro to too who
had dared to take such liberty with
him, and Iloff began to explain with
fjestures the cause of tho occurrence.
But Collamore, in a loud voice, de-
mantled what he meant. It was very
paiutul to Hon. lliecvcsot the wholo
congregation wero upon him, and ho
crew red in the faco, aud iu despera-
tion exclaimed:
"There was a spider on your head !"
"A white place on my bead, hev?
said Collamarc. "You'll know what
it is to bo bald-headed yourself, sorao
clay.
"It was a spider," shrieked llofl",
while the congregation smiled find the
perspiration began to roll off his face.
Certainly it s wider, said Uolla-
more, "and got more in it than yours.
But vou let it alone do you mind?
You let my head alone iu church."
"Mr. vJofiamore, shrieked llorr.
"thre was a bug on your head, and I
brushed it iff this way," aud Hoff
made another gesture ut Collamore's
head. v.
The old mail thought be was going
to fight him then and there, and burU
ing his hymn-book at 11 oil, ne seized
tlio kuccling-stool on tho floor of tho
pew, and was about to bang Mr. Hoff,
when the sexton interfered. An ex.
planation was written on a fly-leaf of
tho hymn-book, whereupon Mr. Colla
moro apologized in a boisterous voice,
and resumed his. seat., Then the ser
vices proceeded. 1 hey think-of ask
ing Mr. Collamore to, worship else
where. Dunbvry New. e
Why is it that so many of our far-
mers.and nearly all of our city carters,
insist on using a tight rein on work
ing horses? When a horte, Left to his
natural inclination, has a heavy load
to pull, be can best exert tis strength
if bis back bone is in one continuous
line, and this he will bavo if not pre-'
vented by a tight check reifi. Somo
claim that it prevents a horse from
fulling, and' when a man can raiso
himself over a fence by a lift on bin
supenders, wo will believe it.' When
a horse falls, a tight rein will most
effectually prevent him from getting
onto his feet again. Try it without
tho rem aud sco if we are tint correct
in our practice and theory.
Tho New York Journal of Com
merce calls tho attention of under
writers to a now material used in the
manufacture of martingale rings, knife
handles, combs, elc. It is said to bo
called "celluloid," is as hard as iron,
and when cold possesses great strength.
But it is inflatnahle, and burns more,
readily thau pitch. A flash of a match
will set off a box of
this material put
up in any form, and prnduco a ennrfa
gratinn so utterly nt variance with tho
apparent solidity of tho arficlp, that
it seems liko magic. It evidently va
porizes at a comparatively low, tem
perature. A San Antouia ni.ui, a gentleman
of course, took homo a revolving dice
box wherewith to cheer his wife's
drooping spirits. After a game or two
for fun, ho proposed to throw for who
should cut tho wood next morning; ho
won; then he offered to try fur who
should bring up the coal and light tho
lire for the ensuing week ; ho won
again ; ho then tendered her a chnncti
for satisfaction uu a throw fur who
should go to market fur the next
month. Kesult: Thrco sixes fur tho
husband, and the next minute ho and
flat iron went out of tho front dour to
gether. Ole Bull was once seeing the sigLls
at Doniiy brook Fair, when ho was at
tracted by the sound of a very loud
violin in a tent. 1 lo entered and said,
"My good friend, do you play bv uote?"
"The deuce a note, sir." "Do you
play by car, thru?" "Niver an oar,
yer honor." "How do you play, then?"
"By maiu strength, bo jubers!"
. Here it is again most capitally stated
by a neighbor: "To advertise in any
guiso is very wise ; and be who buys
discreetly hies wherever lies tho sweet
est prize. He who defies this rule re
lics on empty guys ; his business dies,
nor can rue until he plies his skill,
and vies with others wiso who adver
tise. Tho Dunbiiry philosopher observes
that the placidity of expression worn
by a man who is "next" iu n full bar
ber shop can not be cotintci 1'cilcd.
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