t
MBt.PBlTT.D WERT WBDTCTDAT, BY
W. R. IUNN.
riot if MBrnaov DOHKroa bdilddio,
r ELM STREET, TI0KE8TA, PA.
TERMS, 2.00 A YEAR.
1 Subscription received tyt a eherter
pet-tod Uian three months.
Carres pondonoe solicited from all part
oftti eountrr. Xo notice will be taken bf
nymoua communication.
BUSINESS DIRECTORY.
TI05E3TA LODGE .
Xo. 360,
'I. O. ofO. F
MEETS every Friday evening, at 7
o'clock, in tlia Hall formerly oocuplod
' to the Oood Templars.
7 J AS. WOODINOTOX, 7f. O.
A. B. KEIXY, Sec'y. 27-tf.
Samuel D. Irwin,
tTohxF.V. Vt?NSELU)R AT LAW
A and HEAL ESTATE AUKNT. i.afral
fcnsln promptly attended to, Tionesta,
f. bwt raTTta.
BULB W. TATS.
PKTTU A TATK,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
M.Un Mcioi. TIOXESTA, PA.
rw., r auw, r..
Mason. It Jervka,
ATTORWIYH AT LAW. Office en Klin
aXreet, above Walnut, Tionesta, Fa.
r. W.Haya,
ATTOH.HY AT LAW, and Notary
Pcanc, Reynolda Hiikill A Oo.'e
Bleak, Beneoa St., OU City, Pa. VJ-ly
ST. UtlMBAB. . .
V. B. SMILCT.
' AMenaey at Law,
. rraaklia, Pa.
PRACTICE In the several Courte of Ve
nango, Crawford, Forest, and adjoin
tmr eountie. 8'J-ly.
. A1tI, . , . FAaiBTT,
HARRIS A FAS8ETT,
- eMrneys at Iw, TltaarlUe Penn'a.
ORACTIC In all the ConrU of Warren,
A C'rawfcxd, Foraat and Venango voun-
Mea.
ar-vi
J. H. HelYly,
TtTIinKOX DEHTIST. In Schonblom'a
O BuildlnK, between Centre and Byea
Baore HU., Oil City, Pa.
All operation unn In a careful manner
ml warranted. Chloroform and ether ad
ministered when required If the oaao will
permit.
CENTRAL HOUSJE,
IOXNKR A AO NEW BLOCK.
W. A.
new
iLiti, Ixee. This ta
neuae, and haa Juat been fitted up
anconiniodatloii of the public. . A
for .the
portion
of the patronao of the public la aollclted.
i-ly ' '
Lawren.ce House,
mtOWMTA. PA.. O. O. BUTTER
X FIELD. PaorBiBTon. This hooae
la eentrallv located. Everything new and
wall furnished napertor aooominoaa
Unm and striat attention irivsn to auesta,
VefteUbles and Fruits of all klnda aerved
lm their eoaaon. eatnpie room lur v-uiu
nerelal Agents.
FOREST HOUSE,
D BLACK PKOrRlETOU. Opposite
. Court House, Tionesta, Ta. Just
pened. Everythlni( new and clean and
fresh. The best of liquore kept constantly
n hand. A 'portion of the publlo patron
aae la resneotfully aollcited. 4-17-lT
Tionesta House.
r T t.ATIMF.R Uhm. Elm St. Tlo
ll. mU. Ph.. at the mouth of the creek.
Ur. Ii. has thoroughly renoyated the
TinnnaLo. IliSkii. and re-furiilnhod It com
lately. All who patronize him will be
well eutertalnoa at reaaonauie rauw. ei-iy
National Hotel,
"PIDIOUTE, PA., Bonl. Elliott, proprle
1 tor. This house haa been newly furn
ished and ia kept in good etyle. Guests
will be made comfortable here at reasona
ble ratee. - : t-ly.
Dr. J. L. Acorrib, '
"PHYSICIAN AND SURQEOX, wholiaa
I had nftven years' experience In a large
and auccessruf practice, will attend all
Professional Calls. Office In his Drug and
Grocery Store, located In Tldioute, near
Tidioute House.
IN HIS STORE WILL BE FOUND
X full eseortment of Medicines, Liquors
Tobacco, Cigars, Stationery, Ulaus, Faints.
Oils, Cutlery, all of the best quality, and
will be sold at roaaonable rates.
DR. CHAS. O. DAY, an experienced
Phvslelau and Druggist from New York,
has' charge of the Store. All prescriptions
put np accurately
a. a. mat. o. r. r. . a. a. ssu.t.
MA Y, FAKK CO.,
B A U K E B S
Corner of Elm A Walnut Sts. Tionesta.
Bank of Diseonnt and Deposit, .
Interest allowed on Time Deposit.
OnUeeeiona madeonall tbePrinelpal polnU
of the U. 8,
Collections solicited.
18-ly.
HEW SILL! ARC ROOMS I
ADJOININQ tho Tionesta Houeo, at the
mouth of Tionesta Creek. The tables
nd room are new, and everything kopt iu
order. To lover of the rfaiue a cordial
Invitalinn ia extcudod to come and play
in the new room.
S7 if Q T. LAT1M Kit. Iwee.
. W. CLARK,
eOMMlSSlO.VlB'S rt.ERK, FOBEST CO., TA.)
. MEAL JUS TATE AG EXT.
HOUSES and Lota for Sale and KKN'T
Wild Londa for Sale. X .
I have superior farillilcafor asoertalnlm
the condition of Usesand tax deeds, iSc,
and am therefore qiinlitied U art iuUilli
HCiUly a SKCut of those living at a dl
ianmi, owums lands in the County.
otlloe in Onninissionara Room, Court
noiit", TioneMs, I'a.
i-il-lv. V. W. CLARK.
1 J) J..H
lis? J
VOL. VI. -NO. 49.
Dr. J. B. Bl.ilre,
OFFICE ami residence opposite the
Lawrence lloitao. Office daya Wednos
daya and Saturday. ft8-tf.
iff rrrrrrrr
'XaZfl Has established a
now and complete LIVERY STABLE In
the barn In the rearof the La'Vrence Howie
and la prepared to furn'sh riira of all kind
on ahort notice. Ordora left at tho Law
ronoe IXgu3 will receive prompt atten
tion. 88-ly.
THE BOOT & SHOE STORE
OB1 TIDDIOTTTEJl
NK. STEVENS, Proprietor. Fartlea
iu want of FINB lUxts and Shoes will
alwaya And a pood asaortinent atNtevena'.
When vouokII. ustay "From Tionesta"
ami you'wIU be liberally dealt with.
6 -6m -- Ki. K. HTJSVJSKa).
riNE GROCERIES,
CHOICE CIUAR3, TOBACCO, CANNED
FRUITS, STATIONERY, 1
AND NOTIONS,
for aale at J. B. Agnew's Store Room, In
Bonner A Agnew's Block.'
FRESH OYSTERS, by the con or served
to order. 1 ,. H j 29 tf.
Frank llobbliift,
PHOTOGRAPHER,
(successor to DBMINQ.)
Pictures In every atvleof the art. Vlewa
of the oil regions for aale or taken to or
dor.
CENTRE STREET, near R, R. eroaslng.
stYCAMORE STREET, near Union Tte-
pat, OU City, Fa. .. -vr
LOTS FOR SALE!
IX THE
BOROUGH OF TIONESTA.
Apply to GEO. G. SICKLES,
79, Naaaan St., Now York City.
WM. F. BLUM,
BLACKSMITH
AND
WAGON-MAKEUi'
Corner of Church and Elm Streets,
TIONESTA PA!
Thla firm ta prepared to do all work In
lu line, and will warrant everything done
at their shops to give aauatacunn. rar
ticular attention given to
IIORWIl-SIIOEIXCJ,
Olve them
gret 1L
trial, and you
will not re-
13-ly,
PIIOTOGRAPI1 ALLERY,
Water Street,
OVER 1HLBR0NNER A CO.'s STORE
Tionesta, Pa., '
M. CARPENTER, ... Proprietor.
Pictures taken In all the latest atvlea
the art. 26-tr
TlPlOUTB, PA
Dealer In
Fiss Watches,
Clocks,
Jmlry,
Epa UoIm, tc
All repairing in
this line neatlv U lie
and warranted. Par
ticular attontlon paid
to the. repairing of
vVatohos.
IsTElW
GROCERY UNO PROVISION STORE
IN TIOXESTA.
GEO. W.BOVARD&CO.
HAVE just brought on ' a complete and
carenilly selected stock of
FLOUR, ' '
GROCERIES.
PROVISIONS,
aud everything nooessary tc the oouiploto
stock of a n rat-class Urocory House, which
thev have opened out at their cstahlibh
nio'nt on Klui St., first door north of M. E.
Church.
TEAS,
COFFEES.
SUOARS.
SYRUPS.
FRUITS,
hams, Lard,
a -Vd ritorii 'roxs of a Ll kixm,
at the lowest cash prices. (Joed warrant
ed to bo t)t the Ihmi quality. Call and ex
amine, and we bWim-'e we con suit ou.
oto. w. bovardAco.
TIONESTA, PA.,
TOM IIICiBYl StlXE. .
"Piarlle, tell us a story! T'.iis from
a knot of ftooJ fellows gathered in tho
oflico at the close of our day's labor.
"Well, boys, I cau't Ihink of any
thing else to-night, bat seme pranks
we used to play in the old 'Secoud
Ohio,' lying near Nashville, Tena.,
waiting for old Hood to give us some
thine to do. Company A bad a Sec
ond Lieutenant named Tom Iligby,
as meoo a cuss as ever tyranixed over
a set of men. Tom became possessed j
of a mule somehow, nut uoooay Knew, ,
although be sai
id he had bought mra.
lalk about your mules I ibat mule,
for straight out cussed nens, could beat
all creation. No use talking, he could
outkick a Kickapoo Indian, and give
him five in the game. I tell you, boys,
that mule could kick a fly off a
raouee's ear and never scratch the
mouse.'. Tom wna the only man in tho
regiment that could get' within forty
rods of him and not get kicked all to
pieces. Tom Higby was1 the all-fired-est
stiDgiest man in the brigade, but
be was always geuerous about lending
that mule. "He'd say, 'Oh, yes, boys,
take the mule aud welcome. Certain
It. go get him. He's in the corral.
Use him as much as you want to.
Don't mind his playful new. Yes,
take him.' Then be would pnt bis
hands in his pockets and walk ofT with
the air of a man who bad done some
thing magnanimous. But ha was just
as certain that the boys wouldn't use
that mule, as be was that be wpuld
not lend them a dollar, and you had a
dead sure thing ou it that you couldn't
borrow a dime from Tom, uo how.
"It was one of the diversons of the
camp to get a greenhorn to borrow
Tom's mule. We would all go down
to the corral to see bim get the mule,
or the mu)e eet him, which was cer
tain to be the case. That mule wouldn't
stand fooling. lie would extend the
hind hoof of friendship to a fellow
quicker than creased liehtninz.' and
he would laugh just as plain as any
mule could to nee greeny gather him'
self up and git fur the fence. - "
' "Well, one day Lieutenant Van
Ilurne picked up a dat key servant
somewhere, and the boys thought from
some remarks they '' had' beard that
there was fun ahead. - Van never bo
lieved that story of Iligby's about
buyiue.tbo mule. . I he. darker bad
not been in camp but a short time, un
til he got into a muss and kicked the
cook of company C badly, and got a
reputation. He was as homely a con
traband as could be found in the State,
and bis name was 'Pete Brownlow,
Ms sua Brownlow's boy.' In a day or
two the boys concluded it would be a
good thing to give the mule a shy at
Pete. Van was nothing loth to see
the fuu, so he sent Pete with his com
pliments to Lieut. Higby, 'and would
lie please lend Lieut. Yau Home bis
miner
Pete went over, grinning from ear
to ear, and making his best bow, ad
dressed Tom, 'Massa Higlelum, sar
vint, sir, Massa Warmhorn 'wants for
to. borrow dat ar mule of yourn, and
pervents bis complimeuts tu Massa
Higlebum, and says dat how as dat
muel is a mighty harnsum critter, an
he'd use him good.': Ob, yes, certain
ly, my ace of spades, certainly. Tell
Lieut. Van that I am only too happy
to have it in my power to oblige him.
Have the mule? Certainly. Just go
get him, Ebony. Take him at any
time. Don't need to ask me. Just
take him any time you want bim.'
"Pete backed out grinning worse
than ever, and in a few moments was
moving toward the corral with a bri
dle he had borrowed from the quarter
master. We all followed to see the
fuu. Old Satan (that's what we call
ed the mule) saw him coming, and
took in the situation at once. He
commenced to work one ear back and
forth, a sure sign be was awake, and
to slowly move bis artillery end around
in Pete's direction. But Pete had
beeu there before aud knew which end
of a mule was loose. So he com
menced a right oblique to flank the
mule. Satan waited until Pet was
about to lay hands upon him, when be
swung around on a pivot, limbered up
and let fly with both batteries at
Pete, But if Satan was spry so was
Pete. With one spring he bad Satan
around the neck, and then there was
fun. Pete got the mule by the ear
and the mule got Pete by the seat of
the breeches, and they had it nip and
tuck. At last Pete succeeded in back
ing the mule into the corner and after
a struggle got the bridle on him.
In a jiffy Pete was on his back and
then there was some tall bucking aud
biting. Did you ever see a mule buck T
No! Well, he just gets all four feet
off the ground together and when be
light humps up his back kind of sud
den like. Pete wrapped his long legs
around the mule and stuck to him, and,
encouraged by the cheers of the boys,
oue of whom tossed Liin a club, he
finally conquered that mule. If you
ever baw a proud uigger, Pete was one.
His eves bliK'k out like cotitW balN
L. -K1"L' 11 ... '..IJ.
'- ? "arlJ-r.i.oT
MARCH 18, 1874.
ont of a dinner pot and he rode out
of the corral a conquering hero.
"Pete went straight for If igby's quar
ters, r ml saluting with the air of a
Major General, addressed Tom: 'I
done told you massa dat's a bully
muel. Jtut you didn't fool - di chile
much. Seen dat muel before, I has.
Know rlcht whar you confiscated dat
muel.. . Plowed corn wid him many a
tim9. Massa Brownlnw own dat crit
ter and dis nigger too. ' Me an dis
jHy laue) mod Pete a bully nigger,
muel U ewine to town, we is. lies a
ust kin bet.' And 'digBiog his
,ce3 ;ntQ c
Satan's rib; C.T ne went at a
swinging canter. Tom Higby was the
maddest man you ever saw, ana the
expressions he made use of on that oc
casion would not grace the nacres of a
Suodny School book. For long enough
auernard, n you wanted to near cuss
iug, all you had to do was to ask Tom
who he sold his mule to. then get
out of the way, for be bad an unpleas
ant habit of throwing things around
lpose. ' '. ,
"We did not see Tete again until
after tho battle of Murfreesboro : be
had joined the Seventh Michigan as i
servant to the Major, and bis first re
mark as the Seventh filed by. was'SAy,
any ob you fellers got a muel you want
rode. I's the general muel breaker
for dis command, I is. Whars Massa
Higlebum? Gib bim dis chile's best
epects. I's Major Way's boy now, I
is. Gib my lub to Massa Warmhorn.
Tell him I s sorry 1 couldn t stay wiu
him. but I bad to trit Massa Brown
low's muel. Why, I knowed dat muel
from a chile. Oood bye, fellers.
A FIE-HITIMJ 3IATCII.
The people in New Mexico originate
some curious societies. In Mesilla
and La Cruces they have or it issa'id
they have what are knowu. ns the
"Pie-Biters," composed of persons pas
siouatajy fond of pies. So strong has
the rivalry erowu between the two
societies that a challenge resulted, and
the contest is reported to have been as
followst - "The pies were to be mince,
and one Inch thick, Mesilla to bite
first, and no bite to count unless it
reached the centre of the pie. Mesilla
piled up nine pies and shut down on
them without an effort. La Cruces,
elevated the top of his head and closed
his law over eleven. I Or eat entliusi
asm among his friends. Mesilla came
to the scratch, or bite, manfully, and
floDDcd bis lip over a dozen successful
ly. Odds offered on Mesilla. La
Cruces at this point, said : 'Well, it is
time to stop this nonsense; band me
fifteen.' They we given him; he
smiled, laid the back of his head on
his shoulders, and came down on the
bundle of pies like an alligator on a
mouthful of flies. But his teeth did
uot come together. He struggled and
jerked, but it was na use. Three .of
bis teeth broke and bis-bold gave way.
On examination, a dog collar was
found in the centre pie, aud LaCruees
had got his teeth tangled in the buckle.
Jack Martin the referee, decided in
favor of Mesilla, on the ground that
everything was fair in a mince-pie."
Tbe announcement is made that
Miss Seward will shortly give a litera
ry entertainment iu Washington. To
tfiis young lady, then Olive Risley,
Wra. H, Seward proposed marriage,
though many, many years her senior.
Tbe temptation of money, and posi
tion was probably very great but Miss
Risley refused the offer. Subsequent
ly be adopted her, and with him and
his daughter she made that celebrated
journey during which Mr. Seward re
ceived more attei.tion than has ever
been extended to an American citizen.
At bis death he bequeathed a fortune
to her, who had beeu a most faithful
acd devoted daughter, and she now as
sumes the name of her generous and
grateful frieud.
A New Orleans merchant, moved
by the pitiful tale of a woman who
said her husband lay dead at home,
that she hadn't the means of burying
him, charitably gave her' $11 to get
the poor man under ground. Before
giving the raouey, however, he went
to take a look at tbe dead man. Sure
enongh, it was a swollen, discolored
corpse, that should have been buried
days ago, and iu his hurry .to leave
the noisome tenement, be forgot his
umbrella. So he reluctantly returned
to claim it. He hurried quickly but
softly up stairs, tiptoed to the door,
lifted the latch, and saw the corpse
sitting up in the coffin counting nis
$14 over very deliberately.
The Mount Sterling (Ky.) Sentinel
gives this ' notice of a marriageable
youug female in Montgomery couuty :
"A young woman ia Slate at a party
the other night, for twenty dollars, ate
a whole roast pig, an entire stuffed tur
key, all of an oposum, ten large corn
dodgers and drank a gallon of hard
rider, at one sitting. Her uamn is
Miss Mary Juue Severance, and she is
a plump and pretty brunette, lively as
n cricket and bafii't a tapeworm."
LJW l!fiiliJ..lL!lL.JL ' L. -I?
,-,i-.;..ii-.!;.-.. ' .v.ihif:.-. .-.; :u,
$2 PER ANNUM.
BIIEEK POVERTY.
In Reading bread, meat and cloth-
ing are distributed at the station house
to the deserving poor. ' A few morn
ings sjnee a thinly clad and sorrowful
looking woman approached the bread
Pile over which Chief Uullen presided.
She carriei a basket on her arm, and
a ehe exteiuled it to receive her allow
ance, of chanty s goods she put on a
look of sorrow that would have melted
the heert of an anchorite. The Eagle
says the quick eye oi telnet cuiien
took in ber eituation at a glance, and
looking her in the face, be inquired :
V bat is your, name? , Ihe woman
answerer u lueuerman language, auu
1 . i ' i i
gave her name as Fleckuer. "How
many brick houses have you r : ."Uiuy
one," was the answer. "How many
building lots do you own?" "Four
teen, was the reply. "How many
pounds of pork did you kill last fall?"
was next asked the poor woman. She
answered slowly," About six hundred."
"How many hogs have you now ' at
home in tbe pen ?" was the next thun
derbolt. "Only two," answered the
needy female. "How much money
have you in bank ?" said the Chief.
"Only a little now," said poor Mrs.
Fleckner. Chief Cullen gently, took
the poor woman by the arm and kind,
ly escorted her out of the opartment.
Several minutes afterward she: ap
peared again and had a doleful story
to tell. : She said that it was not fair
to refuse her bread, when- her other
rich neighbors bad been supplied and
bounteously at that. She stated that
one of ber neighbors had thirty-six
loaves of bread in the bouse that she
had procured at the station house.
Mrs. Fleckner then narrated' the sor
rowful fact that sh had' a lurge family
of two children and that ber coal was
entirely consunied. .She said that the
weather "bad been so bad as not to per
mit her gathering any for several days.
She wiped the tears from her eyes and
said that a poor woman should not be
refused bread when she bad nothing to
eat at home. Chief Cullen . replied
that she was to be pitied . indeed ; but
as long as there were people applying
for help who did not' own their own
houses, fourteen building lots, six. hun
dred pounds of pork, two hogs, and a
little money iu bank, she would bate
to take a back .seat no matter what
her condition was. Tbe poor woman
weut home without bread and every
body around said.it served ber per
fectly light.
At a very successful seance in Cincin
nati the other night, a man burst into
tesp when the medium described very
accurately a tall, blue eyed spirit
standing by bim, with light side whis
kers, and his hair parted in the miJdle.
"Do you know bim ?" inquired a man
at bis side, in a sympathetic whisper.
"Know him? I guess I do," replied
tbe unhappy roan, wiping bis eyes.
"He was engaged to my wife. , If he
hadn't died be would have been ber
husband instead of roe. Oh, George,
George?'' he murmured, in a voice
choked with emotion, "why did - you
peg out? ' ' ; ; . :
In Cooperstown they tell a story of
an, Xiiiglish joker - who. once visited
Fen i m ore Conner. Cooper was then
the most conspicuous man in the little
town. One day, while Mr. Cooper was
dining with the Englishman, he poured
out some "native 'wine wine from
grapes raised in his own garden. Tak
ing up a glass and looking through It
with pride, Cooper remarked, "Now,
Mr, Stebbins, I call this good, lionest
wine." "Yes, Mr. Cooper, I agree with
you, it is honest wine poor, but Don
est.' " Mr. Cooper went on telling his
"Injun stories.
North Adams has a tailor long
known for his keen, pungent wit. Not
long since a well-known, clergyman
called at bis shop with a pair of pan
taloons, and asked bio if they, could
bo repaired. Tbe k night of the shears
unrolled them, held them up in a most
artistic manner, carefully examined
them, and replied, "Yes, yes; the
knte are the best part of them." The
reverend gentieman saw tbe joke,
smiled blandly and gracefully bowed
himself out. n.
Wm. M. Evarta tells this good story :
A few summers since at tbe urgent re
quest pf oue of his younger daughters,
he sent up to his country place in Ver
mont a donkey for her use. 'She had
read about donkeys, but was not fa
miliar with their peculiar vocalism.
The animal's strange noises inspired
ber with the profoundest pity for liia
evident distress. So alto wrote to ber
father "Dear papa, I do wish you
would come up here soou ; my donkey
is lonesome."
We are told that three lioudred
years ago ladies, combed their hair
just As they do to-day. Thij won't do
in a civilized laud and among an ob
serving people. Throe buudred years
ago ladies used to comb their hair on
their heads now they bang It over
the back of a chair to comb it.
'f Italia of AdVcTtisiiiV.
One Square (1 Inch,) ono Inert ion .$10
OneN'iunre " one month - - 3 On
One Square ". . three months it oa
One Square "' ono year - - 10 On
Two Squares, one year - H tit
Quarter Col. - - - - 0 00
Half . " , " - ' " - V) 00
One " "... - CO
LetraT notices at f-tabllshed rates?
Mnrriago anil death notices, gratis.
All bill for yearly advertisement col
lected qimrterly. Temporary aivertise
inenta intiHt be paid for in advance.
Job work. Cash on Delivery.
ANOTHER, DAI fJUTEIt.
Gillingbam was in Williamsport tbe
other day, and while attending to bis
business there he had a strung pre
monition that Something was the mat
ter at home; so in order to satisfy
himself, bo determined to run down to
Philadelphia on the next train.. In
the meantime, his mother-in-law sent
bim a dispatch to this effect : ; ,
' "Another daughter has just arrived.
Hannah is poorly. COme home at
once." . ' I i : .
The lines were down, however,. and,
meanwhile, Gillingham arrived home
and found his wife doiDg pretty, well
ana me nurse rambling around with
an infant a day bid1. 'After slaying
twenty-four hours, ,and .finding1 that
everybody was tolerably ..comfortable,
he returned, to Wi'l'amsport without
anything being said about, the dis
patch, his mother-in-law supposing
that of course be bad received it.- The ,
day after his arrival the lines- were
fixed, and that night he received m dis
patch from tbe telegraph office dated
that very day and conveying 'the fol
lowing intelligence: ' ' ' '
"Another daughter haa just arrived.
Hannah, is poorly.- Come home ; at
once," . , .. .....
Gillingham was amazed ancLbewil
dered. ' He couldn't understand it.
Daughters appeared to him to be get
ting entirely1 too thick..: He' walked
the floor of hi room in : agony -aU
night trying to get the Jiang-of the
thing, and the more he considered the
subject, the more be became alarmed
at the extraordinary occurrence. J 11a
took tbe early tiain for tho city; and
during the journey was in condition
of fiautic bewilderment. ' When he
arrived he jumped in a cab, drovs fu
riously to the house, and scared his
mother-in-law itto- convulsions -hr
rushing in a frenzy , and demanding
what on earth bad happened.- But be
was greatly relieved to find that there
were no twins in the nursery,1 and" to
learn bow the mistake occurred.' But
he is looking bow-fof the telegraph
operator who changed the date ot that ,
dispatch. Gillingbam is anxious to
meet bim. lie wants to see bim about
something:' ' ',
, u r.!, ' ' i i i 'I :
- At a concert in Buffalo a small boy
tumbled off bis seat. This was: inter
preted "fire!'' and tbe audience, made
a frantic rush for tbe doors and wia
dows. Women ' and children' ere
trampled under foot, and many leaped
from the windows, a distance of four
teen feet. After a general alarm of
fire had been soun rled, a committee
Was appointed to go and wake the boy
up. . - .
An J artist who painted a portrait
for a gentlemau noted for his frequent
libations, invited tbe gentleman's
friends to see it. One of thsru, .who
was rather near sighted, approached it
rather too closely, and the artist, in
alarm, exclaimed : , "Don't touch it, it
ain't dry!" . "No use looking, at it,
then," replied the .old gentleman j it
it can't be my friend.'',, , ;. .,
'A guardian'of the puce In 'New
York made his first essay,; a "mount
ed policeman' one day last week, by
grasping the horse's tail and attempt
ing to climb np that way.. The sur
geon subsequently remarked that no
horse ever had a finer opportunity," or
took advantage of it with such infinite
scorn of the consequences;. ' , ' ""
The Savannah News says a negro
was burled alive ia a well at Butler
recently. His friends dug down , to
bim in about four hours, and found
him alive and well. He said that he
never wasted to sneeze so bad in his
life, but was afraid bo would jar down
some more dirt. . . t .tw ..:
A naughty little boy, blubbering
because bis mother would not let hint
go down to the river on the Sabbath,
Upon being demolished, said, "I didn't
want to go a swiramin" with Vm, ma;
I only wanted to go down and see the
bad little boys drown for goin a swim
miu ou a Sunday."
v "I see," said a young , lady, ."that
some printers advertise blauk declara
tions for sale ; I wish I eould get una."
"Why?" asked the mother. "Because,
ma, Mr. G. is too modest to ask
me to marry him ; and, perhaps, if I
should fill up a blank declaration -ha
would sign it," , . ,. a pv)
An epicure in Vermont writes to bis
local newspaper that having indulged
freely in the eating of frogs, his hands
are uow covered with what his doctor
calls "tumorous enlargements of the
Vascular papilla) and indurations of
tbe surrounding epidural it"- that is,
warts. " i ! '
The people of Minnesota are iryieg
to solve the fuel question, A com
mission is to be appoiutod to show far
mers bow to prepure and use peat, j
"A Good Mau Gone to Roost," win
A boad-liue in Western paper's obit
uary. Tbitt proof-reader whs udiuoH-
i ihcd.
V