The Forest Republican. (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, August 13, 1873, Image 1

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13 ri ni.isni;i KVKUY wudvksuay, UY
V. If. T) 1.1 XX.
OrriCE IN R0BIN80K k BONNER'8 BUILDINO,
ELM IJTEIXT, TIONESTA, T&,
TKHMS, f 2.(10 A YEAR.
No Subscriptions received for u shoicr
pi-ilod tlmn throe months.
Correspondence solicited from nil purls
of the country. No notice will botskclt of
unnon vinous mi n i u tiii iHi m.
BUSINESS DIRECTORY.
TI0NE3TA LODGE
Xo. ii GO,
5 y J. O.ofO. F1.
MEETS every Friday evening, nt 8
o'clock. In tho Hall formerly occupied
by thoUood Templars.
8. U. HASLET, N. O.
J. T. DALE, fleo'y. 27-tf.
Samuel tt. Irwin,
ATTORN BY, COU SSKM-OR AT LAW
and REAL ESTATE AUENT. 1iObI
business promptly attondod to. Tlonesta,
la. 40-ly.
. KKWToN FKITIN. MILK W. TATK.
PETTIS & TATE,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
kUStrtcf, TIOXBSTA,rA.
W, W, Muon, 0"K '"'"t
Milan A Jertks,
ATTOIINKYS AT LAW. Office on EUn
Street, above Walnut, Tlonesta, Pa.
F. W. Hays,
ATTORNEY AT LAW, and Notary
Pddlio, Reynolds Hukill A Co.'s
Itloek, Sonet St., Oil City, Pa. 31-Iy
F. KIHKKAR. V. B. SMII.Kr.
XIXXEJK SMILEY,
AOprnsys at Law, - - - Franklin, Pa.
IlitCTICK in tlie several Courts of Ve
nango, Crawford, Forest, and adjoin
ing eamties. . - sy-iy.
R. HARMS, II. t. rASSETT,
JtAERlSA FASSETT,
tornys at Law, Tltusvllla Penn'a.
i"RACTICF! In all the CoiirU or Warren,
Crawford, FoTOst and Venango Coun
UM. 49-tf
rnysivtA a f sviioeoxs.
J. WMAH8, at D., anl J. E. BLAIHE, H. D.
Haviuz entered into a co-partnership, all
rati, night or day, will receive immediate
attention. office' at residence of Dr. Wi
uiii, Kim St., Tlonesta, Pa. 3G-ly
J. H. Helvly,
OURfJEON DENTIST, in Schonblom's
O UnildinK, between Ccntro and Syca
more StM., Oil City, Pa.
' All operations dune In n careful manner
and warranted. Cliloroform and ether ad
ministered wluMwequircd if tho easo 'will
permit. 15-ly
Charles B. Ansart, .
D
KNTI8T.Centre Street, Oil City, To.
I nK
Block.
Tlonesta House.
MITT EL, Proprietor, Kim St. Tio-
next. Pa., at tho mouth of thecroek,
Mr. Ittle hoi thoroughly renovateil tho
Tlotienta Mouse, and re-furnished. It cotu
tletely. All who patronize him will le
well entertained at reasonable rates. 20 ly
FCIEST HOUSE,
DDLACK PROPRIETOR. Opposite
Court - House, Tlonesta, Pu. JiiMt
opened. Everything now and eluun and
frynh. The host of liquora kept constantly
vn hand. A portion of tho public patron
ago la reapectfuily solicited. 4-17-1 v
National Hotel,
rpiDIOUTE, PA., Rein". Elliott, proprie
X tor. Tliia houHe has boon nowly furn
ished and is kept In cood stylo. OuchU
will be made coin fortablo here at renwna
bio rates. 9 ly.
Scott House,
IAdUXDl'S TA., K. A. Roberts, Pro
. prietor. Tills ho'cl has been roi'ontly
re-fnrniHlietl and now offers superior ac
commodations to gues'.s. 25-ly.
Dr. J. L. Acorrb,
P
PHYSICIAN ANI SURGEON, who has
had nfteon rears exmirienee in a iiu ire
and successful practice, will attend all
f Professional Calls. OIHce in his Drug and
fJroecry Storo, located a Tidioute, near
. Tldioute House.
IN UIS STORE WILL BE FOUND
A full assortment of Medicines, Liquors
Tobsooo, Clears, Htationcry, Cilass, Paints,
Oils, Cutlery, all of the best quality, and
will be sold at reasonable ratos.
DR. CHAS. O. DAY, an experienced
rbysiaian and Druggist from New York,
has oharge of the Storo. All proscriptions
put up accurately.
J0. r. tAKl.
A. S. (SLLT.
JfTA X, PARK C CO.,
BACKERS
Corner of Elm.A Walnut Sts. Tlonesta.
Bank of Discount and Deposit.
. ' Interest 'allowed on Time Deposits.
Oolleotions niadeonall thsPrinoipal points
. .jftheV.S,
Collections solicited. 19-ly.
J HO A. Dll.S riot. I- T. PALI, CublM.
TioisrEsa?-A-
SAVINGS BANK,
Tlonosta, Forest Co., Pa, '
This Rauk transacln a General RaukliiR,
Collecting and Exchange UusinoHS,
Drafts on the Prhicipnl Cities of the
United States and Europe bought and sold.
Gold and Silver Coin and Government
Securities bought and sold. 7-30 lionds
rnnverted on the most tUvorablo terms.
InUirest alloTud on time deposits.
Mar. 4, U.
J. B. LONG,
JJANUFACTUllEll of and Doulor in
UAUNKS8, SADDLES, WHUM, ROUES,
CURUY COMI1H, HHUSUKS,
1KJUSK CLOTHINil,
nnd rverythiiur in tho line. In lloiiner it
,A.xuw' Ulurk, adjoiniii!? Drug Store. I
VOL. VI. .NO. 19.
D. W. CLARK,
(OOMMISSIONKR'S rl.BnK, FOIIBT CO., r.V.)
IIVAL ESTATE AG EXT.
II
OUSES and Lot for Sale and REN
T.
Wild Land for Male.
I have superior facilities for RHo.ertainirtg
the condition of tnxos and tax deeds, Ac,
and am therefore qualified to net lutein
ROiitly ns agent of tliosn living at a dis
tance, owning hinds in the County.
Oflleo In Commissioner Room, Court
IIoumo, Tlonesta, Pa.
4-41-ly. D, W. CLARK.
New Hoarding House.
MRS. S. R. IIULINGS has built a large
addition to her house, and Is now pre
pared to aeeomtiindiileanuinber of perma
nent boarders, and all transient ones who
may favor her with their patronage. A
good Htnlilo ha recently been built to ac
commodate the horses of guests. Charge
reasonable. Residence on Elm St., oppo
site S. Ilaslot's storo. IZlt-ly
CEXa'HK STREET, OIL CITY, PA.,
BOOKS,
STATIONERY,
FANCY GOODS, '
TWINES,
TOYS, INKS,
WHOLESALE AND RETAIL.
Books, New-p pes and Magazines
MAILED TO AN Y ADDRESS
At publishers rates.
39-1 V
NEW
GROCERY AND PROVISION STORE
IX TIOXESTA.
GEO. W. BOVARD & CO.
H
AVE just brought on a complete and
caretully selected slocK or
FLOUR,
GROCERIES.
PROVISIONS,
and everything noeessarv to the complete
... I. r .1 ..... ..1 ii II ...I.1..1.
niurK um ii mt.-i;iitnii vriTi'i jf nuiir, it 1111:11
they have opened out at their establish
ment on Elm St., first door north of M. E.
Church.
TEAS,
COFFEES. SUGARS,
SYRLTS, FRUITS,
bPICES,
HAMS, LARD,
A NI mo J V S70.VS 0F ALL KIXDS,
at the lowest cash prices. Goods warrant
ed to be of tho bent quality. Call and ex
amine, and we believe we can suit von.
GEO. W. BOVARD & CO.
Jan. 0. '72.
QONFECTIONARIEg
I AG NEW. at tho Post Office, has
J. opened out a choice lot of
C R OC ER I ES,
CONFECTIONARTES.
CAS NED FRUITS,
10BACC0S,
CIGARS, AND
NOTIONS OF ALL KINDS.
A portion of tho patronage of the public
is resspectfully solicited.
44-tf L. AONEW.
NEBRASKA GRIST MILL.
THE GRIST MILL at Nebraska (Lacy
town,) Forest county, has been thor
oughly overhauled and refitted in first
class order, and is now running and doing
all kinds of
CUSTOM UKI,DI.G.
FLOUR,
FEED, AND OATS,
Constantly on hand, and aold at the very
lowest figures.
43-6m II, W, LEDEBUR.
LOTS FOR SALE!
IN THE
BOROUGH OF TIONESTA.
Apply to GEO. G. SICKLES,
70, Nassau St., New York City.
Tl8 Republican omce
PfKEPS constantly on hand a large as
V. sortincnt of Blank Deods, Mortgages,
Stibpo'iis-i, Warrants, Summons, Ac. to
bo suli ' Ucup fur taslJ. If.
T10NESTA, PA..
THE NORTH AIIPRH'AN nitf.M.MKlt AM)
His HAIIIT.
Evcryliody lins lieanl 'ofa "Com
mcrciftl Drummer." Ho is a creation
peculiar to American commerce. lie
lias as many ribs, fingers, and toes as
an ordinary mortal ; by his cheek ye
shall kuow him. His aplomb is pro
digious. He loves the "great west,"
and there he is chiefly seen, and can
beat be studied. In the railway coach,
the steamboat, the stage coach, the bo-,
lei, ho is as much at home as Welsh
parson in a cheese factory. Who is
that sleek individual who sits on the
outer side of the car, occupying four
seats, when he pays for only one?
How sweetly and innocently ignorant
he is of the fact that there is a carfull
of passengers looking for scats ! His
head is buried in a railway guide, and
soundly ho sleeps while the train is at
a standstill at a station' Shrewd rati
he knows well enough there will be a
rush fur scuts. As soot) as everybody
lias dispo6ei cf h'.sselftbree in a
seat-ho awakens from a pleasant
dream, stretches his legs, aud smiles
blandly on all.
He sits at the head of the tablo in
the best hotel iu the town. You deem
him some local magistrate, who cuts
off coupons for amusement. The dish
es are drawn up in front of him in
serried rows. lie arranges them in
the Bhape of a block house, and looks
at you through the port-holes, and
smiles. He doesn't smile at you be
cause he loves you, but because his
food tickles his stomach and makes
him good naturcd. He calls the wait
ress by her -first name. She doesn't
leave his side for an instant, save to
band him the last dish of the first pass
of the season, which you had so lov
ingly set your hungry eyes on. The
landlord enters and pours out a glass
of water for biro, and offers him a
cigar. He takes it as though he were
President of our glorious Republic.
The landlord's pretty daughter dresses
his salad, and one begins to wonder
which half of the State he owns, and
what he holds it at. You expect to
see somebody wng his jaws for him.
You hear the chambermaids giggling,
in the comer, and Mr. Sharpedse's
name hilariously mentioned. You
subsequently learn that Mr. S. is a
hardware drummer.
Strolling into tho hotel office Mr. S.
is sceu occupying three chairs. He is
cracking jokes while an admiring
crowd are cracking bottles for him.
Perhaps Mr. Calico, a dry goods drum
mer, Mr. felt, a hat drummer, and
Mr. Allspice, a grocer's agent, are
present. The hotel keeper cannot do
enough for Messrs. Sharpedgc, Calico,
Felt, and Allspice. He would cut the
throat of every other boarder if he
thought it would amuse them. Drum
mers tyj anize over landlords. Should
a hotel keeper offend a commercial
ageut, every bum , I mean drum
mer, soon knows it. Nut long ago an
Illinois landlord detected a Chicago
drummer tucking a cigar up his coat
sleeve, aud accused him of it. The
landlord's apartments are as comfort
ublo as are afforded by any country
alms-house.
Sometimes drummers perpetrate
practical jokes on one another. It is
sometime before a green drummer's
eyes are opened to the kittenish pranks
of his fellows.
A friend of mine was onco a drum
mer, but he retired from the profession
as soou as he had collected various
trifling little sums which his brethren
had borrowed.
I remember a joke which was play
ed on my friend by four dry goods
drummers. He will always remember
it, and he confidently expects soma
time to see its perpetrators looking
sadly through prison bars. He was
young and green. It was his first trip.
In St Louis he fell in with a Chicago
drummer. My friend had been com-
Elaining of the high rate of railroad
ire.
"Why?" asked one of the, gentle
men mentioned, "don't you belong to
the Agents' Co-operative Beneficial
Self-SuHtaining Commercial Associa
tion?" "By Jove! it's a splendid thing,"
said the other. "Every agent belongs
to it. No member of the 'A. C. B. S.
C. A,' ever pays any fare. They have
secret signs which all the conductors
recognize. Better join. We are offi
cers and will initiate vou. It costs
only $20.
"All right," say my friend, "I'll
join. Here is a draft for $20 on ray
firm."
In the evening my friend was invited
to a champagne supper, and the secret
sign was divulged. He had only to
run his middle finger over his cheek
and nose, and utter the sounds, "Clie-bung-wung-waug-wung,"
and the con
ductor would pass on, unless ho stop-
fed to offer him a cigar and a pull at
lis flask. The next morning the trio
boarded tho train. The Chicago and
the St. Louis agent sat behind my
friend. When the conductor called
fur my friend's fare, he made tho ap
AUGUST 13. 1873.
propriate signs and said, "Che-bung-wung-wang-wung."
The conductor
smiled at my friend and at the two
drummers and pawed on. My friend
informed ,his employers of his good
luck, and said he thought ho had ex
pended the money profitably.
The two drmmers soon left the train.
My friend finished his business, and
returned by the same road. He got
on the train at midnight. It was for
ty miles to tho next station. He had
only ten cents in his pocket. Ho in
tended to tlraw on his firm at the next
rillugc. Settling himself in a scat,
the conductor soon called for fares. My
friend wont through with the necessa
ry signs, and "Che-bung-wung-wang-wung."
"You man, I want your fare," said
the conductor peremptorily.
My friend repeated louder than be
fore, "Che-bung-wung-wang-wung."
"You can't play tho insane dodge
on me," growled tho conductor; "pay
or I'l! put you off."
Expostulation was ineffectual. My
friend and bis valise were deposited at
a cross-road, twenty miles from civili
zation, on a blustering January night.
Shortly afterward be met the Chica
go agent oa his native heath. He
gave him a sample of eastern English,
and demanded the $20 out of which
he had been swindled.
"Oh !" said the Chicago man, "there
must be some mistake. Which hand
did you make the sign with?"
My friend said he had used his left.
"Oh I" said the Chicago man with
the coolness of a cucumber, "that's
where the trouble is. You ought to
have used your right hand."
My friend made a sinister motion
with one of his feet, and the Chicago
man disappeared around the corner.
Nevertheless, the drummer is a
necessary evil. He coins brass into
money for himself and his employers.
What more wuold you have?
TlrC latest thing in hotels is suggest
ed by an ingenious correspondent of
the Galveston News. It is to bo call
ed the Aerial Sanitarium. It is to be
a huge balloon, firmly secured by
'strong attachments at a proper height.
"Galveston," he says, "is whithin one
mile of the most delightful climate in
the world, and this climate is directly
overhead." To the enormous balloon
there is to be attached a framo work
of sufficiently strong wire, fitted up
to accommodate 100 guests. This
airy saloon will be reached by a small
er bolloon acting as an elevator. When
tho barometer indicates disturbing
weather, the gas can be let off and
tho whole establishment' brought down
to solid earth. We can imagine a car
avansary of this kind perfectly de
lightful. Owing to the purity of the
air the chambermaids would bloom in
perpetual youth ; and iu such vicinity
to the immortal gods every man wai
ter would develop into a Ganymede
and every table girl into a Hebe. As
tho gentlemanly clerk, what limit
would there bo to his celestial gifts
and graces? And here would the
landlord grow solid, impressive, and
jovial as Jove himself! So near the
moon and stars, what more charming
place could thero be for flirting? And
when we cull to mind how easily the
bores could be thrown over, we feel
that we need say no tnoro.
Says the Sacramento Record: The
Sarstiold Guard, which appeared in
the procession of the Fourth, had at
its head the following six tall men :
MikeByrte, 6 feet 5 J inches; S. B.
Can n, 6 feet 6 inches; J. J.Tackney,
G feet 6 inches; A. J. Holland, 6 feet
31 inches; D. Gillis, 6 foot 2 inches:
C. S. -Major, C feet 0 inches. There
were three others belongiug to the
corps who, if present, would have
made the average weight of 256
pounds, whereas it was 251 pounds,
the aggregate being 1,506 pounds for
the six men ; and in length they would
make nearly 38 feet of pioneers. One
of the absent pioneers of the company
breathes in an upper atmosphere 6 feet
7 inches above the earth, and weighs
310 pounds, if M that is said of his
corporosity be true. He started to
come into town from the country to
join in the pioneer rank, but as he
rode Ms head struck a limb far up on
a wayside tree, and his injuries pre
vented his participating and looking
down on bis follows. The Stockton
company has eight pioneers who weigh
just a ton, but they are all short and
stout. The Saretklda claim their big
men beat them, six weighing over
three-fourths of a ton, and tauntingly
ask the Stockton boys, "How is this
for high?"
An Eastern paper says, "Every day
the advantages of the postal card sys
tem is becoming more and more appa
rent. The other day a merchant sent
his porter to the mail with about
eighty business letters written on pos
tal cards, who several hours after was
dicovtred by a clerk of the house,
standing in front of the letter box,
reading each letter before dropping it
in.
tCdlll
$2 PER ANNUM.
THR JIVISTERY OF "OLr TOM."
Saratoga, July 21.
'.'Who is 'Old Tom?" asked Mrs.
Spriggins.
X replied that I did not know, and
asked why alio asked.
"Because, she said, "when Mr.
Spriggins and I aro sitting on the piaz-
i A,inH i:tii ...i.:i . 1 1
I Cljr BOI11U 01 HIS
friends, como un nnd sav that 'Old
Tom' wauls to see him, and he gets up
auu goes ou luoKing pleased, and
comes back with his face Bhinier than
ever and smellir.g of peppermint."
.several or mo young ladies have ask
ed me if there is a spring away off ou
the far piazza, for they 6eo the gentlo
men wiping their mouths when coming
back from a promenade there.
This morning tho Sprigginscs were
down to breakfast later than usual,
and there was a diffcreuco in tho or
der of their arrival. Usually Mr.
Spriggins frisks in first, in a sort of I-
pay-for-tbis style, and Mrs. Spriggins,
leading tho little Spriggins by the
hand, follows, with the grace and dig
nity of a Christian mother conscious
of trying to do her duty and satisfied
witn tne way her back hair s done up.
But this morning Mrs. Spriggins Jed
the van, with the injured air of a per
son who pays taxes nnd is not allowed
to vote, and Mr. Sprigging followed
after with his head down on the floor,
as though hunting for something he'd
lost; aud his hair was thinner than
usual looked as though the moths
had got in it during the night. And
he didn't seem to want anything for
breakfast but pickles; and when Mrs.
Spriggins got through she didn't wait
far him as usual, but just clawed hold
of the little Sprigginses and sailed out
of the room like a seraph sliding down
a Riverdale hill on a shingle you'd
have thought she was getting away
from something catching.
"The fact of it is my, boy" (this is
what Mr. Spriggius said to me after
breakfast, confidentially), "there's no
use in those newspapers going on and
discussing whether Old Tom Gin will
intoxicate, for I've tried it. I novcr
could drink more than a gallon of
anything without feeling it, and you
needn't tell me thot Old Tom won't
set a fellow up if he takes enough of
it, even it it does mix bettor with Con
gress water than some other drinks.
You see a good many of the boys got
around yesterday and kept looking
toward me, and I got so confusod af
ter a whilo that ono of them went
home with me, and when we got about
where I thought the room was, ho put
in his head to ask if Mrs. Spriggim
lived there, and tho rest of him dis
appeared kind o' suddent, as though
something took hold of it. And when
ho came out he thought there must be
a mistake somewhere, that he'd acci
dentally stirred up the nest of a fe
male threshing machine, disturbed the
old bird while she was hatching, or
something. She's little, but she's
amazing powerful, Mrs. Spriggings is,
aud she. thought it was mo she was
yanking. I didu't sleep much last
night, for she'd a good deal to say that
she thought'd be interesting to me;
and you mayn't have noticed it much,
but she's got a way of fixing a fellow's
attention when she sets out that's sur
prising, and she gives you nothing but
facts, either. She's great on facts,
Mrs. Spriggins is."
Passing the barber's shop just niw I
saw Spriggins in there having bis head
shampooed ; it's the third time he has
gone through that to-day, and I guess
he'll feel better by and by. You see
the trouble with Spriggins is that he
oaa't hold much any way and doesn't
know when he's full. Most men are
muzzle-loaders, and a deal like guns;
some can burn a good deal of powder
comfortably, and other's can't ; some
take the drams without winking, and
others kick up a thundering fuss with
one in them. If a man doesn't know
when he's got enough and will drink,
the better way is to cany a "charger"
in his pocket and load by that; guess
ing by fingers-full won't do. And
then one wouldn't be safe unless he
evened the measure off every time
with a staight-edge.
The Shah himself is an ugly cuss.
He resembles closely the pictures of
the more cruel of bis forefathers con
tained in the early editions of the
Arabian Nights. I dare say he has
caused many a poor fellow's head to
be chopped off on a notice of five min
utes, aud it would not surprise me to
learn that he has a trick of making
himself a widower three or four times
a month. A fierce-eyed, tullow-vis-aged,
ugly beast as ever wore a dia
mond or carried a cimeter; his Grand
Yizior.twho is alone with him. is onlv
a trifle the less brutul and vicious. If
you met cither in a dark alley you
would tremble for your life. If Cap
tain Jack has a worse contenance he
is no true Modoc. Henry VVatterson.
A New Hampshire paper speaks of
the "idiots who are climbing tho Wliuo
Mountuius to get a view of the cows
pasturing in tho meadow b below."
Itates of Advertising.
One Squnro (1 Inch,) one Inerlion - 1
One Square " one toouth - -:(
One Square ' three months - (I OA
OiicSquaro " oho rear - - 10 (o
Two Squares, one year - 15 00
tinaiUsrCol, ' . . . . ,m no
Half " .... so CO
One " " - - . . 100 10
Lcal nuticrsat established rates.
Marriage and death notices, pratis.
All bills for yearly advertisements col
lected quarterly. Temporary advertise
ments iniiHt be paid for in advance.
Job work. Cash on Delivery.
I'LAVlMi MUP FKfll). ,
Mr. Boggs is a wclL-to-do, big, fufc
farmer, living iu the southern portion
of Ilarbercreek, where tho local op
tion law doth flourish and tho the sup
ply of Wahoo bitters has long sinco
been expended in correcting incidicsit
cholera. Boggs carao to town yester
day, and the family wagon, besides
bringing his wife, furnished room for
a couple of maiden sisters of a certain
age, who also wished to do some shop
ping. Of course.be swigged a few
glasses of lager, partly because its rari
ty made it very palatable and some
thing had to be taken to balance the
evaporation caused by the intense heat.
Boggs was about ready to start for
home, his countenance lit up by tho
sunshine of a beaming smilo that
showed him to her at pence with bis
fellow-men.
As ho turned on State at Fifth
street, his attention was attracted to a
group of boys. Happy little fellows,
unconscious of the interest Boggs was
taking in them, they played at leap
frog and then ono put his hands on
tho top of a hitching post, lightly
bounding over, leap frog fashion, and
the others all following suit, even tho
smallest ono springing up on his hands
and going over like jumping-jacks.
Boggs gazed at the last with a curious
sort of fascination and then at tho
ptBt, and there was an almost irresisti
ble impulse at work which plainly
said, "Boggs, just jump over that post
as you used to jump when you was a
boy." The lager may have had a lit
tle to do with the infatuation, but the
longer Boggs looked the more ho felt
impelled to try it, nnd casting a hasty
glauce up and down street to see that
no one was looking, he ambled at tho
post. It would have been all right
but that at the critical moment liis
strength failed him. As he made tho
best spring of which his corporosity
was capable, his right hand slipped
the post was hemlock and gnawed at
the side and was instantly the rccep-.
taclo of a dozen slivers. But for that
he might havo got safe over. The de
fection caused him to lurch to tho
right, and full with his bread basket
on the end of tho post. A few nails
had been driven there for tho horses
to gnaw at, and no of them caught
his pants by the waistband, and ripped
them from the band clear down bis
right leg, and held him there, head
do H owards, with a. mashed hat over
his eyes, in tho gutter, his No. 11 boota
waving helplessly in tho brcezo. A
triple scream, which he recognized as
the voices of his wife nnd two maiden
ladies, roused hut didu't release him.
A bottle of cholera medicine, which
smelt very much like Monongahcla
whisky, got broken in his pants pocket,
and ran down his reversed duds, soak
ing him to tho neck. .
Two sooty Samaritans from tho coal
docks lifted him down and tenderly
helped him to the wagon, where belay
on the bottom, iu shame and sorrow,
while the wife of his bosom drove the
team and delivered a tcmpcranco lec
ture. As for the spinsters, tbey rodo
home iu virtuous indignation, upon a
hay-rack, with a man who neither
lagers nor plays leap frog over hitch-ing-posts.
Erie Ditpakh.
An act of Crvelty. Chapped
hands aud fuce are the most serious
annoyance that farmers, and people
who lafcor much out of doors, experi
ence from exposure. Exposed per
sons, especially children-, repeatedly
suffer intensely from great cracks up
on the bauds, that often bleed. It is
cruel to allow ono's self or others to
suffer in this way, when the means of
positive prevention are so easy to fee
had, and so cheaply, as to pay teu
cents for a cake of Hand Sapolio.
Hand Sapolio is not only better than
the costliest soap for removing dirt,
but it prevents chapping and renders
the skin soft and pliable. Sold every
where. 17-19
They have a practical way of right
ins things up in Canterbury, N. II.
A Manchester man who had unfairly
obtained a farm of a dying man, to
the detriment of the widow aud chil
dren, recently visited it to cut the hay,
got his mowing machine ready for use
the next morning, and retired. That
uight about twenty mou aud women
turned out, prepared the hay by moon
light, sold the crop, and placed tho
money in kepping for the rightful
heirs, all before daylight,
A g 'uial and unselfish considertion
of the comfort of others is one of tho
very rarest things in tho world,
and when it is found it ought to be
chrouicled. A Cincinnati editor, who
has indulged in a heavy life insurance,
is said to bo followed wheuever ho
goes a fishing by several insurance,
companies aflc'ctionatidy bearing lifo
preservers and sun umbrcllus.
A murderer at Meridian, MitM.,
asked to be hung on the Kourlh of Ju
ly, aud the judge kindly consented
it would help along tho prop'"
bratiuu.