1
3 rL'BLICIIEU EVERY WUIII5SIAY, EY
W. It. DUNN,
OITIOB IN H0BIH80N & BONNT.R'8 BUttDIMO,
ELM 6TRKET, TIONESTA, PA.
TCI IMS, A YEAR.
No Ruliserlpllons received fur shorter
period t mil threo months.
r'nrnwpointcm'p solicited from nil parts
of the eotinlry. No Willi TV ill rjclftVen nt
umiony nioiis comniuni'caliims.
BUSINESS DIRECTORY.
TIONESTA LODC
No. :wj,
T. O. ol'O. J
1.'1.1.... It.. i.t 7
Mi-.r. i vi-i i I'm.i ,7. ... .
ii'iii li. Ill th! Hull lorincrly occupied
)V theliood Templars.
M. ITTKL, N. 1.
V. II. DUNN, Scry. 27-tr.
Samuel D. Irwin,
ATTORNEY, COUNSELLOR AT I. AW
and REAL ESTATE AOKNT. Lejral
usincs promptly attended to. 'J'ioiicsln,
Pa. 4i-iy.
hwtoii rami.
MILKS W. TATE.
PKTTIi' A TAT E,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
AUh mrt, T 10 X EST A, rA.
'W.W.Muos,
Btxirj 1. fasti,
SrMfcriV. p..
Mason & Jenks,
ATTORNEY AT LAW. OnWon Rlin
Street, above Walnut, Tiniiesla,
W, P. Mercllliott,
-A
TTOrtNUY COUNSELOR AT LAW
Tlonesta. Pa. Olllce on Klin St rent.
Thii professional services of the Hon.- S.
Y. Johnson ran lie secured thmiiuli me If
tfusired inanv business entrusted to me in
forest Co. Oollei-tiona promptly nttcndeil
, Alao Ileal ttal Aunt. ,
F.W.Hays,
' A TTOKNKY AT LAW. and NoTAliY
Vrm.ic. ltpviioldn llnkill A t'o.'a
lllock. Seiiot'ii St.. nil fity. liu 8H-ly
George F. Davenport,
K TTOHNKY AT LAW.' Special atten
l tl.m f;ivrn to tlio ill Vi-Ktiyulitiiinf Lnnd
Titles, t'tnivcTnni'iiitr nnd t'olleetioim in
"Vananifo. 1'iu'wford and ndlnrent eoimliei.
.'All liimiiiemi iiromptlv attundiHl to. No. 8
Mercantile lio W, nil City, Pn. -ly
V. Kl N N BA n.
y. II. RM1LKY.
A'.tornayo at Law, - - - Franklin, Pa
PrtACTICK in tho novoral Oiurts of Ve
naiiiro. ('rnwfoid. lirost. mid udloln
inar c'luntivn. IW-ly.
i, K. BARKU, 1. n. Airr,
i
n a n n . a? rA sa k r r,
A'.'ray at La-, ; THustIUo Penn'a.
PHAC'TICR In all llio ConrU ut Wai ion,
I'rawford, t'oreut ami Ycnaiiso ('uin-
kM.
4u-tr
ysicia xs f ,s i n : i:oxs.
J. WINAS3, U. D., an! J. E. ULAINE, M. D. ;
11 avinir entered into a en-partnership, all
call, night or day, will receive immediate
utteiition. ( mice' at ronitlenco of In-. Wi
liiina, J:ini St., Tionosta. Pa. 3tl-ly
Clarlcs B. Arysart,
TftENTIST, Centre Strett, Oil City,
'1-t lnSimmis' lliock.
l'a.
Lawrerco House,
TTM.I.AWni:NCR,Vnoi'niKTon.
This
house lias Just
been opened to the
public nnd the furniture and littinrs are
all new. (iue.-its will be well entertained
at reasonable rntcn. Is situated on Km St.,
opposite. Superior LumberCo. Storo. 3!l-ly
Tiocesla House.
MITTEL. Proprietor, Kim St. Tio-
neita, Pu.. at Ihoinouthof tlmereek,
Mr. Iltle has llioronplily renovnteil tiie
Tlonuita House, and ro-fnrnislieil it oom
iletelr. All who patroni.e him will be
wall entertained at reasonable rates. M ly
, rO"rEST HOUSE,
BLACK PUOPltlKTOR. Oppoaite
.J Court House, Tinneata, Pa. Just
opened. Kverythinn now and sean and
fresh. The bust of liqtiora ket eonstantly
on hand. A portion of the public patron-
age is respectfully solicited. 4-17-Iv
Scott House,
FAGUNDUS, PA., K. A. Roberts, Pro
prietor. This ho' el has beesi recently
re-furnished anil now offers superior ac
commodations to R-uue's. 25-ly.
Dr. J. L. Acom,b,
PHYSICIAN AN I) SUHO EON, who has
had fifteen years' cxpcrieiicein larijo
and successful practice, will- atteml all
Professional Calls. Oil ice in his Urug and
Wroeerr Store, located in Tidioute, near
Tldioute House.
IN HIS STORK WILL T1R FOUND
A full assortment of Medicines, Liquors
Tobaooo, Ciurars, Stationery, Ohus, Puliits,
Oils, Cutlery, and line ilrocorles, all of the
liest quality", and iU bo sold atrea.tuua,lilo
Ti. R. BT'KdESS, an Qxpoi'lcneod nmiMtr
y ist from New Y', Ims cliarne of tho
Store, All iirPcniUoiii put up accurately.
UT. JSC! r T.U. A. S. KELLY.
MA Y, VAJtK .C CO.,
(Comer of-Elm A Walnut Sts. Tlouesta.
Bank of Discount and Deposit.
Interest allowed on Time Deposits.
iCVtllestions made on all thePrlnoipal points
of the V. H.
,(-nnctions solicited. 18-ly.
.(O 1 D1I.I W J- T. SAUI. 0Mbltr.
SAVINGS BANK,
Tiutiesta, Korest Co., Pa.
This ltank traiiHacL'i a Ocneral Paukiii;,
.Colleetiiiir mill Kxehauun ISilsineits,
Drafts on tlio I'rincipal Cities of tho
United States and Kuropo bought and sold.
.Hold and Silver C'oiu and Ciovcriiniont
Securities Imuntit and sold. 7-'iu ISoiuls
.(unvcited on the most favorable tonus.
d Merest niluwed on t'uie ttcposiUi.
Mar. i, tf.
ftp
VOL. V; NO. 45. -
TENEYCK&VANDERSAAL
WllOI.ltSAMi A IlKTAIt.
CONFECTTO XE It S.
STORE: No. 3 South Seneca Street,
KEXT POOIl TO POST OFKK'B.
MAMFACTORT : No. North Scnrta Street,
3'.i-ly OITjCITY. FKNN A.
D. "W. CLARK,
(fOM XI1SIOM KU'H CMC11K, FOIlKST CO., PA.)
JtEAL ESTATE AG EXT.
HOL SICSand Lots for Sale and ItKNT
Wild Landa for Sulo. 1
I liuve aupprior facilities for ascprtiiliiinR
Hie eondition of tnxes nnd tnx deeds, iVr.,
ami inn tlioreforo iiwilincd to net intelli
gi'iitly s intent of those livinir at n (lis
tance", ownimr lands In tho CViimty.
dtllce in CommisNionurs Itoom, Lourt
House, Tloneata, Pa.
4-41-lv. I). W. f'LAUK.
New Itonrdiiig Ilousie.
MltS. S. S. HI-LINOS has built n lnriie
aildilinn to her Iiouka, and is now pre
pared to acvoninnidatoa numlier of perma
nent boarders, nnd all transient ones who
ninv favor Iter with their patron!". A
Ifootl stable has recently been liuilt to ac
eonunodato the horses of (jnesta. t'harKes
reasonable. Residence on Klin St., oppo
site S. llaslet'a storo. -1 y
A. II. PARTRIDGE,
nr.At.cn i
FTJEiHITURE,
rllAMP.KIl SUITS. SOl-AS, TAI1LKS,
C'lIAIItS, HI'.DSTKADS, MAT
TKl'.SS KS, LOUNC; ICS,
SI'ltlNd HEPS,
AC, AC,
FRAMlSa I'lCTVJtES,
A HPKf'l A t.TY,
Has a larce variet v of Moulding of all
kinds, and will frame to order all pictures
brought to It i in in any style to sun erslo
ii.ers.
Kooins in necond story of ltonner tt' Mc
Kay new building, Klin St., Tionest:,,
l'a." o!)-8in
flCMTKi: STKwKT, OIL CITY, PA.,
KtKiKS,
STATION Kit Y,
FANCY IjOOIIS,
TWIN KM,
TOYS, INKS,
tl UOl.KBll.2 ANO llETAlI..
Books, Newjpspops and Magazines
MAILED TO ANY ADDRESS
At publishers rates.
89-ly
GROCERY AND PROVISION STORE
IN TIONESTA.
GEO. W.BOVARD&GO.
1TAVK Just brouirht on a complete mill
ii careuuiy uoiecicu biock oi
FLOUK,
PROVISIONS,
and everythliiR necessary to the oonipleto
stock ofa Mrst-elassif rm-ery House, which
they have oponnd out at their establish,
mailt on Klin St., first door north of M. K.
Church,
TEAS,
COFFEES.
SUGAKS,
SYRUPS,
FRUITS,
STICKS,
HAMS,
a .v rito VIMOX8 Or '
LARD,
ALLKtXDS,
ut (ho lowest cash prices. Goods warrant
ed to bo of the best quality. Call and ex
amine, and we believe we can suit you.
!KO. W. 1SOVAHDACO.
Jan. 8, 'Ti.
QONFECTIONARIEg
IAONKW. lit the Post Omee, lias
V. opened out a choice lot of
t ROCERIES,
CQNILCTI ON A li IES,
CANNED FRUITS,
'10UACC0S,
. CIGA11S, AND
NOTIONS OF ALL KINDS.
A portion of the pntrouiine of tho public
a rt sspecifnllv olii;it'l.
1-Hf ' IL. AGNEW.
T10NKSTA. I'A.. FKHIUTA11Y 19, 1873
SCHOOL MASTER OF
SIAN BAR.
RUS-
"Wlirn is lio expected ?"
"Tlioy Enid lie wits coming in to
night's singe."
"Y.i, I guess lie was in the depart
ment." The doctor's wife wns nn authority
en all matters in Uussinn 15a r, nnd on
this last sensation tho coining of n
school ninster she freely enlightened
her neighbor, Mrs. Blunt, it plump
widow, whose miner husband huj died
a lew months ueiorc. mere was uoi
much to coMtn about in that quiet
villaze. The orrival and depnrture
of the stace brought the people to
their door three times a week, and if
a strniiL'L'r was noticed, envoys were
immed'mtelr despatched to the hotel
to learn his name ami business and me
probable lenirtb. of his stay. Hut now
Kussian Isar wns to have n new school-
innster, and the folks wondered much
if ho would have nny trouble with
Sum Seymour.the butcher's boy; or Ike
Walker, and unruly spirit, who had
knocked down and pummelled the
last preceptor who undertook to teach
him school discipline, the trustees
were powerless i these matters, and
dec a red that it a schoolmaster was
not able to "get away" with the boys
in the souare, stand up hrlit, he might
as well pnek his traps and leave Rus
sian Bar.
On the cvcnitis of tho expected ar
rival, Seymour and Walker, the lead
ing spirit of the mutinous school boys,
met at a pool, from which they were
both trying to coax a few speckled trout
for supper.
"Have you heard what the new
chap is like, Sam ?" said Ike, as he
impaled a wrigglo worm on his hook.
"No ; have you ?"
"Father told Jake, the barkeeper,
that he was vtry young."
"And small?'
"Yes."
"Uucs.i he won't slnv long in town,
Ike."
'I purs. not, Sam. School ain't
good l,.r us, such him weather as this.
The worthies sat nnd fished in fci
lenco tor sometime and then Ike pro
duced a bunch of cigarettes and pass
ed them to hix friend. At last find
ing that the fish would not bite, they
shouldered their poles and straggled
up towards tho village, pausing lor n
moment to stoue a Chinaman's rooster
which had strayed lo3 litr from tho
protecting wash house.
Philip Houghton was a schoolmas
ter from necessity, and not taste. Like
many who have betn educated as gen
tlemen in one fcn. of tho word, that
is without tho acquaintance with any
special pursuit that might be turned
to good account of the struggle for
bread, he found himself adrift in Cali
fornia, with nothing to iitll back on.
Seeing an advertisement in a paper
for a competent teacher to take charge
of the school at Kussian Bar, ho an
swered it and was accepted at a ven
ture. Putting his few movables to
gether ji pair of old foils nnd set of
well-worn boxing cloves, Houghton
was an accomplished boxer nnd fencer
he bought his ticket tor Kussian
Bar.
Ho found the stage driver a commu
nicative, pleasant fellow, who, at his
request, described tho characteristics
of his future home. Indeed, his des
cription of the class of boyi whom
Houghton was to take charge of was
not very tiicouraffinw. "You'll find
tbm a hard lot," said he, "and they're
all on the muscle, too."
" hat is about tho weight of my
oldest?" asked llojighton, good hu-
tuoreilly. "lousee, it 1 hive got to
exercise something moro than moral
illusion, I want to get posted on the
physique of my men.
" Well, ham Seymour is about tiie
strongest,
"And what is about the tizo ot the
redoubtable Ike?"
"Well, I guess he tops you by half
a head.
"O, I expect we'll get along well
enough Ugethcr," said Houghton ;
"and 1 suppose this is the hrst glimpse
of Kussian Bar," he added, as a turn
in the road brought them in view of
that picturesque village.
The stage bowled along the smooth
road and piut the great white oak un
der whoso friendly branches the team
sters were accustomed to rnako their
noon time halt.
"I'll set you down at the hotel,"
said the driver.
"1 here 8 Perkins, tho proprietor;
that tat man sinuUmg on the stoop.
Houghton eonfeskud to himself that
tho prospect before him wa anything
but a prepossessing one. He was not
of a very combative nature, though ho
liked a littlo danger for the excite
ment; but a gamo of listenll' with a
dirty, mutinous boy had utither glory
nor humor for a man that hail been
one of the hardest hitter in his col
; le.
The folks wore all at their door
' when the stage uUttlercd up the single
I? II . II ti M K W ML . V I f
u
ttrcet, and the slender good-looking
young man by the driver was meas
ured and canvassed lielore tho wormy
had passed tho mau to the doctor,
who, with his medical avocations, also
found time to "run the pnstolhco.
i he doctor s wife wns at her win
dow, nnd alter a long survey of the
schoolmaster, hastened to communi
cate her opinions to Mrs. Blunt. Mean
while Houghton washed orl the red
dust of the road, and took his seat at
the supper table, the driver had in
troduced him to about a dozen of the
leading citizens during tho few min
utes that intervened between their ar
rival nnd the evening meal.
"How do you like our town, Mr.
Houghton?" asked the landlord, gra
ciously, as he helped his new guest' to
a cut of steak.
"Well, it seems a pretty place."
"When vim get acquainted you'll
find yourself pleasantly situated, but
yuu'11 have a hard time with the
boys."
"So they all tell me. Anyhow, I
am not unprepared," said Houghton
cheerfully.
After supper (he landlord remarked
confidentially to the Doctor "that the
young man had grit in him, and he
thought he'd be able to 'make the
riihV with the beys."
When Houghton arose next morn
ing, and opened his window to the
fresh breeze, odorous with the perfume
of the climbing honeysuckles, he felt
tlint, nfter all, n residence in a remote
village, even with n parcel of rough
boys to take care of, was preferable to
the dusty, unfamiliar streets of Sail
Francisco. He smiled as he unpack
ed his foil and boxing-glove, a little,
sadly, too, for they were linked with
many pleasing associations of his un
dergraduate days.
"Well," ho soliloquised, as he
straightened his arm and looked at
the (irmly developed muscles, "I ought
to be able to hold my own in a stand
up fight with these troublesome pupil
of mine. Tins is mv day of trial,
however, and before noon we shall
probably have had our battle out."
The school house, a raw, unfinished
looking frame building, stood hard by
the river at about half a mile from
town. When Houghton opened the
rickelv wooden gate that led into tho
school lot, he found a group of some
twentv boys already assembled. Among
them were Ike Walker and Sam Sey
mour. The bitter's sister a pretty girl
of sixteen, was leaning against the
feuco with a half dozen of her friends,
for the Kussian Bar school house was
arranged for the accommodation of
bn'h sexes.
Houghton handed the key to the
nearest boy, and asked him to open
the door. With a look at the others,
and a half grin he obeyed.
"Now, boys, muster in," said Hough
ton, cheerfully, to the boys.
They all passed in Seymour and
Walker lust. The latter took a good
look at the schoolmaster as he went
by. Wheu they were seated, Hough
ton stood at his desk and laid a heavy
ruler on the books before him.
"Now, boy," he said, "I hope we
shall get along pleasantly together.
lou treat me fairly and you shall
have no reason to complain, I prom
ise you. Silence and obedience is
what I require, and a strict attention
to tho matter of our instruction."
Giving them a portion of the gram
mer to prepare for recitation, he
walked up and down the room, occa
sionally ctanding at the windows, but
appearing to keep no stirvetlance on
the boy, buduenly tho crack ot a
match was heard, followed by a gen
eral titter.
IIoiiL'Iiton turned quietlr from tho
window, and Raw a blue smoke from a
cigarette arrtsiiig lrom where bey-
uiour at.
"What i your name, boy?" lie ask
ed in a stern tone.
".My name is Seymour, replied the
mutineer, insolently.
"And you are smoking?
"I guess so."
"Leave the room."
'I goes not."
There was a dead silcHco in the
school-room noiv, and Houghton felt
that the hour of trial was at baud.
"Seymour," lie said very quietly.
"What?"
"Come here."
So v mi our, rutting his hand in his
pockets, sauntered from his dcik, stood
within a yard of the schoolmaster,
and looked sneeriugly in his face.
"Leave the room," said Houghton
again in a lower voice.
"No."
the little arm straightened like a
flash of lightning, and the rebel mea
sured his length on the floor whilst the
blood gushed from his nostrils. In a
moment he sprang to his feet and
rushed furiously at the schoolmaster,
but went down again like a reed be
fore that well-aimed blow. The sec
ond time he fell, Houghton stooped
down nud lifted him up as if he hud
been a child, fairly flung him outside
$2 PKll ANNUM.
.
the donr. Snymour confused nnd
amazed, staggered down to the brook
to wash his face and refivct on the
wonderful force of that slight arm.
And Houghton, turning to bis school
without a word of comment on the
scene, commenced the recitations.
Walker 'wns mum. Seymour's fate
had nppnlled him, and in fact the en
tire mutinous spirit ef the scholars of
Russian Bar was in a lair way Of be
ing totally subdued.
When the trustee heard of the
affair, they unanimously commended
the schoolmaster's pluck.
"I tell you what, boys," said Per
kins te n crowd who wero earnestly
engaged nt n camo of old sledge in
his bar-room, "that Houghton knows
a thing or two about managing boys.
He'll fix 'em off, or my mimes not
Perkins."
Houghton was hospitnlly (rented by
the fulks at Russian Bar. They felt
him to be a man of refinement brought
down in the world, but showing no
offensive superiority in his intercourse
with them, J. he Doctors wile pro
nounced him to be the hest cw 1 ork
cr she had ever met, nud the gossips
insinuated that Mrs. Blunt, the wid
ow, was setting her enp for him.
Gipsy Lane, the daughter ofa lead
in it man in Russian Bar, nud made
wealthy by n saw mill, which nil dav
long groaned and screamed some dis
tance down the river, did not exiire
her opinions as to Houghton's merits,
but in the summer evenings, when the
schoolmaster, rod in hand, wandering
along tho stream, nnd throwing bis
line across the niill dam Gipsy was
seldom far away. Lane, a blnll'
hearty old fellow frequently asked
Houirhton to spend tho ovening with
him. and told his adventures in car
California to a patient listener, while
I r' i ..-r n. 1.1 I, (V.
CflDSV UUIIIlllly Ilieimuu lit:i iamvi c
socks, cn the verandah.
Mrs. Lane, when Gipsy was a baby,
was laid to rest in Lone Mountain,
long before tho thought of settling ut
Russian Bar. Seymour and Walker
were tlio best nnd most industrous pu
pils the young mr.ster had, nnd were
happy when accompanying him on his
excursions. In fact, nil agreed in de
claring that the educational depart
ment in the village wasn thriving suc
cess. . ,
One pleasant evening in June, Gipsy
Lane, twirling her straw lint thought
fully picked her way across tho broad
fields that lay between her house and
the mill. The stream was n winding
one, and as she placed her tiny foot on
tho first stepping stone, she saw n straw
hat on the grass which she knew well.
"How is Jhss La no this evening:
nsked Houjiiton.lazily.from beneath 'a
manzAtiitu bush, where lie had been
enjoy uijj a hooii and a pipe.
VVnl! ibiinL- von. How Is Mr.
Houghton ?" replied Gipsy, shyly.
"Warm, but not uncomfortable.
Are you going to tiie mill ?"
" Yes, have a letter that hns just
come for father."
"May I nccompiny you?"
"Certainly, if you choose."
Houghton put on his hat and helped
Gipsy across the brook.
"I had a letter from New York a
few days ago," said he, aftor they had
left the first bend of the river behind.
"A pleasant one ?"
"Well, although in ono sense it
brought good uews, still I can hardly
call it a pleasant letter,"
They talked on, and Gipsy swung
her bat peusively, longing with a
woman's curiosity, to bear more about
the New lorlc letter.
"I'm going to leave Russian Bar,
said Houghton abruptly.
"Indeed, how sonu r
"I don't know, yet ; possibly within
a week.
The bat was swayed from side to side
with increaeu oucrgy.
"Do you care much, Miss Lnne?
This wns said with earnest look into
the hazel eyes that were kept tendily
bent on tho brown pnruhed grass bo-
twen their feet.
"Yes, of course, we shall all bo sor
ry to loose you," returned Gipsy
evasively.
"If I come back in a few months
with something for my future wife.
shall I see this ring on her linger ?
whispered Houghton capturing the
little hand that held the hat, and
slipping a pearl ring on tho delicate,
little linger.
Gipsy said nothing; but her eyes
turned fur a moment on tho school
master' eurost face, and in the next
moment her soft cheek was retting on
his shoulder.
Russian Bar, to u man turned out
to wish Philip Houghton god speed
on the morning he took his placo by
the driver who one year before had
set down nt lVrkin's Hotel. They
knew he was on his way to Nw York,
nnd that ho bad been left some money,
uml tho go&sips more than lie suspected
that there was .something between
Gipsy Lane, and their favorite. At
all events her eyes were red for n
week al'ler his departure.
Rates of Advertising.
One Square (1 lneli,) one Inertion f)
One Square " one month ....
ne Hiiuiro " three months '
One Sqiiarn " one year l' ''u
I wo Squares, one vcnr - I '.
qiliirtorCol. : 0
Olio " .... IIKI I.IO
iwtd MoUiHwaA eaUthlislittd rates. ...
Marriage nud death notices, gratis.
All bilfs tin- voiirly lulvertiseinntils ei.
"tod uuarteilv. Toiiiuorarv Bdvortifl-
luciits Mint lc f it i c I Ibr in advance.
loh work, Casli on Unlivery.
Winter had come and tho river w is
swollen and rapid, and many n lof'.v
tree from the l ine forest had tourd
its way to the Russian Bar. One !
licious morning, ctisp and cold, afr-i
a rain the stngo passed by the laru'i
white oak and splashed with mud,
halted before Perkin's Hotel. It ImO
been nil night on the way, for the road.
wers very heavy.
The worthy of that excellent liousn
was in the net of tossing his first cock
tail, when n heavy hand wns laid on
his shoulder, and Philip Houghton
shouted:
"Perkins, old boy, how are yon ?"
The landlord returned the shake of
the hand, dived behind the bar and
had a second cocktail mixked in a
moment. "And now," snid he, as ho
pledged the ex-schoolhiaster, "when
will the wedding lake place?"
Six weeks afterwards the old mill
was hung with evergreen wreaths, and
a grand festival wus held at Russian
Bar. (tipsy Lane was a lovely bride,
and when Houghton took charge of
the mill nnd invested nil his New
York money in Iho villngo nud was
admitted to practice in the courts-
everything seemed to take a fresh
start. Through nil, his warmest and
most devoted friend wns Sam Seymour,
once the terror of Russian BarechooL
masters, and now the holder of that
important position.
A resident of Denison, Texas, writes
as follows: "This is the liveliest town
in these parts. Only six months old,
it has been built up by the Missouri,
Knnsns nud Texas Railwny, which has
it.- terminus here. The Houston nnd
Texas Central will be nlong soon, and
then there will be rail communication
from St. Louis to Galveston. We
have 5,000 inhabitants, and we have
hotels, stores, churches, grog shops, two
parsonages, one gambling house, and
a town bnll. Wc have been wanting
a graveyard. Yesterday a man died,
and this uftornonu everybody will
turn out to inaugurate the new ceme
tery. Wo thought we should have to
import n corpse to start it, but this
fellow hnppeucd to die and save us
tho expense. Another one is sick of
a disease he brought from Missouri,
and tho doctor say wo had better
hold the other chap a day or so, and
make one job of it. Don't think we'll
do it though, as we want the grave
yard started nnyhow."
Yhen Dickens wroto his Jinen'cm
Auto, just thirty years ago, he alluded
to the melancholy condition of the
convicts of the Philadelphia peniten
tiary, where the punishment is solitary
confinement. He alluded particular
ly to the case of Charles Langheimer,
who was never permitted to see any
thing but tho stono walls of his dun
geon ; and ho believed tlint ho could
not exist in tho ceil more than five or
six years', nnd entered a prediction to
that effect in the A'oto. Dickens ia
dead, and Charles Langheimer still
inhabits the cell in which Dickens left
him. He is seventy years old, well
and hearty, has spent more than half
his Ii to in solitary coiitinement, ami
says he prefers that niede of lit'o to
any other.
A Scotch builder was at work not
long ago ou a high chimney. When
he decided to deeend, ho found that
his ropo had fallen to the ground, and
wns a hundred fst below him.
Friends did what they couid to help
him, but could not got a rope near
him, and he was in a fair way to die
of his superiority when a brillant idea
struck him. lie took oh" a stocking
that his wife had knitted for him, un
raveled it, and lowered the yarn to
the ground ; then ho drew up a string,
then a rope, and in a few minutes he
was rejoicing to bo ou a level with his
fellow men.
Tho futility of attempting to
thwart tlve designs of Providence by
passing laws ag'iinst the careless hand
ling of firearms lias been impressibly
illustrated in Michigan in the case of
an old lady who wns shot through the
head last week by a gun which fell of
its own accord from tho wall of an ad
joining room.
An enterprising citizen of New
York, i tier for the absurdly low
price of one million dollars cash, in
tear down one of the pyramids, bring
it to Now York, nud set it up ngaiu.
Napoleon-Fugeuo-L'iiiis-Jeau-Joseph
Bonaparte, unit nearly seventceu years
of age, is now heir to tho phantom
Bonaparte throno.
Bob says he can't drink liqiiour, it
goes right to his head. A wag sug
gests that it is sociable stuff nud won't
stay there long all alone.
A boy writing u coiujiokitiou on
"Extremes," remarked that "wo
should endeavor to avoid extremes,
especially those of wasps and bees."
What is the ditl'erence hutweeu a
stuck broker and a critic? None; be
cause, neither having anything of their
own, they livo on tho properly of
thoe who have.