18 rUnUSIIKD EVERY WKDNF.SDAY, HY W. It. DUNN. DtTlce In Krox' BuildinKi Klrr Street. TERMS, fJ.OO A YKAU. No Subscriptions received for a shorter period than throe mouths. Corrooiidenro solicited from nil parts of the country. No notice will be tnkun of aiAionymotM communications. Mnrrlngos and Death notices inserted KHttis. BUSINESS DIRECTORY. n. HRWtON PKTTIS. MILKS W. TATR. PETTIS & TATE, ATTORNEYS AT LAW, :Al,n Strtet, TIOXICSTA, PA. Isaac Ash, ATTORNEY AT T.AW, Oil City, Va. Will practico In the various Courts of i-fveiit County. All business entrusted to ill rare will recoivo prompt attenti n. 10 ly W. W. Mtwmi, Qoorge A. JoiiVn, Tumtita, IV BnmkOItt, IV Masor A Jenks, ATTOHNKYH AT I, AW. Offlco on Klin Street, above Walnut, Tionesta, l'a. C. W. Giinilan, ATTOUNRY AT LAW, Franklin, Ve d X nango Co., l'a. tf. J. It. HAIUUS, 1). O. KASSEIT, HA II It 1 8, V VA SS K TT, Attornoys at Law, Tltusvllle Fcnn'a. 1")nACTTCK In all the Courts of Warren, Crawford, forest mid Venango Coun ties. 4!-tf ' W P. McrcllUott, yrranNBY cottxsk.loh at law l Tliftiosta, l'a. Ofllco on Klin St eet. The professional services of the lion. .S. I. Johnson ran be secured through me It' desired in any business entrusted to nie in Korost Co. Collections promptly attended to. ' Also Iteal Kstate Acnt. Tloncsta House. MITTEL, Proprietor, Kim St. Tlo- nestn, Pa., at the mouth of the crock, .Mr; Iltlo has thoroughly renovated the Viynesta (louse, and re-furnished it com pletely. All who patronize him will be well entertained at reasonable rate. JO lv FOREST HOUSE, D II LACK l'ltontlKTOIt. Opposite . Court House, Tionesta, Pa. Just opened. Kverythinv new and clean and frih. The best of liquors kept constantly on hand. A portion of the public patron' ;e is rcspoetfull.VHolieited. 4-17-lv Holmes House, nyONKSTA, PA., opposite tlie Pot, A c. I. Mubie, Proprietor. Uouil Stn llini connected with the houso. tf. Scott HOU39. TJVAfit'NDUS, PA., K, A. Roberts, Pro L prietor. This ho'cl has been recently ro-furnished and now oilers superior ac commodation to lues's. -.)-ly. Syracuse House, TiniOUTI'", Pa., J. A H Macikk, Propio tors. The house has been thoroughly refitted and is now in the first -t hus order, with tho best of accommodations. Any nforinailon concerniiuj oil Territory tit till. point will bo cheerfully furnished, -ly J. Al. MAtiKK, Exchange Hotel, . LOWKR TIDIOPTK, Pa., P. S. Hams M'.ki, A Son Prop's. This house having lieen reliteil is now tlie most desirable top- iditK place in Tidioulc. ' A good Milliard too, n attached. 4 ly National Hotel, TnVIXF.TOX, PA. W. A. Hallenback, Proprietor. This hotel is New, and is ,-)w oien as a first class house, situate at ee junction of tlie Oil Qock .V Allegheny itiverand I'hihidVlphi.V Krie Kuilmnds, pposite tho Depot. Parties having to lay rcr trains will tlnd this tho most conveii rnt hotel In town, with tirst-class acenm- iioiUtious and reasonable charges. tf. Dr. J. L. Aconb, nifYSIOIAN AND SUKCi KOX, who has I had fifteen yeurs' experience in a largo and nueeBftil practice, will sllcnd all ln..rMul.i.ul iMl (kill. .a l. l.lo it-.... 1 iroeery Store, located iu Tidioute, near Tidioute House. IN HIS STORE WILL BE FOVN D X full assortment of Medicines, Liquors Tobaceo, Cigars, Stationery, (ilass, Paints, ,'"- v m.iTij , .i.i." mi urn i cm, nil in i mi liost quality, ayftvill be sold ut reasonable rates. . JJ. R. BUlfiiF.SN, an experienced Drug ifet from New York, has chargo of the Store. .AH proscription put up accurately. m. n. mat. jso. r. unit. A. D. KKLI.T. MA Y,AIK P CO., B A"lT K B E S , .. .isi.-. j. ii'..i .i.i .... . v.viiiri ui ciiu a it mil ub aiH, i inucsul. Bank of Discount and Deposit. Interest allowed on Time Deposits, ff'olleetions n;adoonall the Principal points of the V. S. Collections solicited. 18-ly. -J0. A. BALI. rrfl- J. T. DALK, C.l,i.r. : TIONESTA . u a Ai ug AJ J.X. AH 1L ( Tionesta, Forest Co., I'a. 'TMs Bank transacts a General Banking, iC'olleetiiHf und Kxchane Itusiness. Drafts un tho 1'rincipal Cities of tho .United Slafos and Europe bought and sold. liold and Silver Coin and Government neuuriiit's uoiigut. aim aoia. -ju iiomis v'on verted on the most favorable tonus. Interest allowed on time deposits. Mar. 4, tf. SLOAN & VAN GIESEN. BLACKSMITHS AND TA GON-M AKERS. Comer of Church and Elm Streets, TIONESTA. I j. This fVm is prepared to do all work in i line, and will warrant everything done a their Hli'ipa to givo satisfaction. Par icular attention given to iioitsi:.snoi:if;, ir Oiwm a trial, and you will not re let 18-ly. " Let ua havo Faith VOL. V. NO. 33. D. W. CLARK, (COMMIHStONKIl'M l.l-MIK, KORKST TO., r..) UK AT ERTATi: AGBXT, TToUSESnnd Lots for Sale and REN CNT. u Wild IjiiuIs for Sale. I hnve superior facilities for ascertaining the condition of taxes and (ax deeds, ,Vo., and am therefore ipialiiid to act Intelli gently as agent of those living at a dis tance, owning lands iu tho County. OHIco In Commissioners Room, Court House, Tionesta, Pa. 4-H-ly. D. W. CLARK. r.im. ptTinimoK. rr.-t. K- U. UIlllllllMlK, Tiru. T A. WRHiHT. Sir. (;M. V. ItllHIIMiuK. Ito.luow Huniicr. THE SUPERIOR LUMBER CO, manifactlri:rs of Pine Lumber, Lath, Shingles &c. Mills on Tionrstn rrerk, Forrst To., Tn. Ynrds It flffirc for. ll k Rail Roml Sts., riTTsnuiioir, pa. Jos. Y. Saul, PRACTICAL Harness Maker nnd Sad dler. Three doors north of Holmes House, Tionesta, Pu. All work is war ranted, tf. Wrr), F. llers, T If'ENCKD AUCTION I Elf, w illnttenit I J to all business in that lino promptly, at reasonable ra'es. Address W.M. FELLERS, Newmanville. n-3m. Clarion Co. l'a. KIHVAKU UITIIIIIIIIO:. E. 11. DITIIKIIXIK FORT PITT GLASS WORKS. Established A. D. 1.H27. PITHFUDGE; & SQN;e MANfrArrfm:ns op Dithridge's xx Flint Glas3 PATENT OVAL LAMP CHIMNEYS. AND Silvered Glass Reflectors. These chimneys do not break by heal. Ask for DrniitiiHiKs. Take no other. DITHRIIMiK.feSON, 25-ly. Piusburnh, Pa. IVriv It:ti'dii3; IIoct.se. TI!. S. S. HULINUS has built a laro l'l addition to her house, and is now pre pared to accommodate a number of perma nent hoarders, and all transient ones who may favor her with their patronage. A flood stable has recently been built to ac commodate the horses iif quests. Chames reasonable. Residence on Elm St., oppo site S. lla-let's store. 'Sl-lv "JONES" HOUSisT" CLARION, FEXX'A S. C. JONES - - - Proprietor. GROCERY AflD PROVISION STORE .v t i ox ns ta . GEO. W. BOVARD & CO. H AVE Just brought on a complete and tareiuiiy seiecicu siocK ol FLOUR, GROCERIES, PROVISIONS, and everything necessary to tho ennpleto stock ofii tirst-elass i irocery I louse, which they have opened out at their establish ment on Elm St., lirst door north of M. E. Church. TEAS, COFFEES, SUGARS, SY HITS. FRUITS, SPICES, HAMS, LARD, .1 XI) PRO VISIOXS OF A LL K1XDS, nt tho lowest cash prices. Goods warrant ed to be of the bet quality. Call and ex amine, and we believe we can suit vou UEU. W. DOVARD k CO. Jan. 0, 72. Lloyd & Son, WATKIt STUKKT, TIOXISTA, TA. ITAVE JUST OPENED an extensive 11 St(l Stock of FLOUR AND FEED, GRGCERIES AND PROVISIONS, Which they oiler to the public at rates as low as can beotlcred by any other estab lishment in town. Give us a c ill before purchasing olsowhore. -;Sih. LLO V D A SON. Mr. Samuel Hell, of W. E. Schiuertz it Co , Wholesale Hoot and Shoe Manufactur ers, ai Fifth avenue, Pittsburgh, Pa., h:is been atlliclod with chronic rheuiiiatisli for thiity years, troin his riirht hip to his foot, having to ui-e a cruti'h and a cane, at limes so painful as to utterly incapacitate him from attending to his business. Ilavini; tried every remedy known, without riled, except Gilliland's Pain Killer, he was finally induced to try it. A second applica tion enabled him to' lay aside his crutch, and a third ellcdod a permanent cure. Mr. Hell is a popular and well-known ciiir.cn, is a living monument of the ell'acacy of that great medical iliscovcrv, Gilliland's Pain Killer. Thealllictod should ak their grocer or druggist lor it, and trv its won derful power. Mr. Gillihtnd, "wo under stand, wants a respectable agent in every town and county for it. The principal of fice is at 7 Third Avenue, I'ituburgh Pa. 31-Jt ri ri r Ti i that Ri?ht maka Might ; and TIONESTA, PA., HOW 1 CA.tlH to gi:t M Alillll P. AX OI,I IMOXKKls's PTOHY. "Your eppnliing of wn eliased liy wolves in Citna'lii wends recti I la n sim ilar experience I once had in Ohio," said tlie old pioneer, as lie shook with suppressed emotion, hut whether of u sad or pleasant nature could not he nscertuinud in tho dim light of the (i replace. "Let us hour your yarn," wo sng tnsted, with n reportoriul eye to tin item lor con-sider utioii in n. dull sen son. "O, it ain't any yarn, I nsstire you," said the old man, as he chuckled and Entitled, until a glacial movement of tohitcco juice Btn. teil front each cor ner of his mouth und pushed its way down Iho wrinkles that led to his fttuhhlc-covcred chin below. "Shut the door there so that mother cau'f hear what's going on, nnd I will tell you how I came to get married." Wc complied with his request, nnd nfter storing away a fresh pujiply of iho weed "that cheers but don't ino briaie," he drew his chair close to us and commenced : "It was in the year 1840 that I came to Cleveland, nnd became employed in a lianiwaro store on Superior street. I had spent all my previous lifo on a farm, aud had become tired of tramp ing around over ihe pastures, fodder ing sheep and cattla in the wintcr.iiud Working still harder in the summer. I won't sny anything about tlie difficul ties I experienced in getting employ ment upon my arrival in tho city, nor how I tried every place in the town before I could find it boarding place that suited me, until I became ac quainted with a widow lady who kept a few boarders on what is now known as Kuclid avenue. "aMv landlady was accomplished, and had evidently seea better days, but the death of her husband had left her in reduced circumstances. She had two daughters, both lively, intel ligent, and possessed of graces that only come from association with the bt tter class of society. They were of extremely gay disposition, aud 1 had not been nt the house a mouth before I was hopelessly in love with Funny, the eldest, and I thought at limes her manner tuward nie was tender and en couraging. She carefully avoided giv ing tno an opportunity to be alone with her long enough to declare toy passion. "Tho winter had nearly passed with out liuding nie any lurther advanced in my suit until one night in Februa ry, after a heavy fall of snow, I asked Miss Fanny to take a sleigh ride with nie, to which she const nted, and after tea I procured as high-stepping a pair of horses as could be found iu tho city, drove up to the hotiac of my athnity, and iu a few minutes we were whirling away out on the Cleveland and Medina turnpike. I bad taken that road partly because it ltd towards my old home, aud also ow ing to its be ing less trureled at night than the oth er thoroughfares leading from the city, and wo were uot likely to be interrupt ed in our ride or conversation, 'ihe uight was just cool enough to make it necessary to place my arm around my companion, the hoists were frisky, null the moon shone with that peculiar light which is preferred by lovers to all others, unless it b that of a par lor lamp turned down so low that as an illuminator it is nearly useless. "Through Brooklyn township we whirled out into, the country, where th lights from the farm houses became more scattered and the baying of a watch-dog was the only sound heard. Fanny, who had previously sung, laughed and chatted merrily on our ride, now became quiet. As we came to a rise in the road that disclosed n level strip two or three miles iu length before us, I said to myself, 'liefore we havo traveled the road now iu view, 1 will settlo my fate, uud go homo a hap pier or a more miserable man." "Hardly hud I come to this conclu sion before I heard a peculiar rushing sound behind us, nnd looking around could see a flock of sheep coming at full speed toward us, nnd behind them were two or thrco dogs, which account ed fur tho fright of the sheep, which would doubtless run for miles before stopping, nnd cause their owner much trouble iu hunting them up. Hut a bright thought came to me. Fanny was a city girl, aud hud never seen a sheep save iu the shspe of cutlets or rt ast at her mother's table. I would indulges in a btrategy of the kind w hich is considered fair in love or war. Lowering my voice to the note of the stugo Jibbcnnaiunsay, where bespeaks of the death of his parents, wife and friends, I said, 'Fanny my girl, are you brave can you bear terrible news?' 'Why, Henry, what is the mat ter? What makes you look so pale'' Assuming n more tragic voice, I re plied, 'I5o firm, dearest ; rely on me; wo are followed by wolves. Look be hind you, and you can seo the mon sters, who are already thirsting for our blood.' "Sho gave a hurried glance hack ward, heard the rushing sound it many feet, tiie deep breathing which, when heard in the forests of the north, causes the wildest dismy; then drawing MEPUBE in that Faith let us to tho end, dare do our duty as we understand it."--LINCOLN. WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 20, 1872. $2 PER ANNUM. nearer to me, said : 'I did not know there were any wolves so nenrlhecity, Henry.' 'Neither did I think there were any,' I replied; 'hut it seems we wi re mistaken, for those behind tie are of the gray species, and most danger ous of any to meet. Driven by hunger they hnvo approached the settlements, and unless our horses can go to tho Stone tavern in I'arma before wo are overtaken, we are lost.' "At this juncture tho old, curly horncJ leader, tired nnd out of wind from tho long run, gave vent to a pro longed bleat, which wns fearful enough to scare a girl less timid than Funny. I sawed on the horses' hits, and flour ished my whip frantically around them, until they were cxcile'd and ap parently doing their best to escape the fate behind us.but I wnssecrctly holding them back, to allow tho wolves (?) to get closer. On came the blonly horde, panting for breath, nearer nnd nearer, until I began to throw out robes and blankets 'These will keep them chaw ing n few minutes,' I said, 'and we may escape.' Hut the sheep had no appetite for the robes, and were close behind us. "I arose iu the sleigh, gave the reins to Fanny, saying, 'Drive for your life I will sacrifice myself for you,' and made n movement as if to jump out of the elcigh. 'Never, never!' she scream. ed, 'We will dio together,' nnd she pulled me down beside her, to nwait her fate. While thus employed, I suc ceeded in obtaining a Imsly avowal of Fanny, nt the same time I was holding back the hordes, to let the pursuers go by. They came; the monsters sepa rated and passed us on either side, while I held my hat over her fitce, that she might not see the dreadful decep tion I had played upon her. "She fainted the moment wo were overtaken by the wolves, nnd without trying to revive her, I turned the horses homeward aud only stopped to pick up the robes which had been thrown out to check the ferocins ani mals. After driving a mile or two my now affianced wife revived sufficiently to hear how wo were si veil by a party of sleigh-riders, who met ns just as we were surrounded. Though nervous and weak from the excitement, sho re covered her buoyancy of sprit before we arrived home, nnd had promised to keep our udveuture a secret, ns I in formed her the 'owner of the horses would charge me a fearful price if he knew to what lesls his steeds had been put.' And that is my adventure with wolves, and how I cii'me to ninny." "But did yeur wilo never find out tho deception you practiced?' we asked ti e old settler, at.d he laughed again, while thinking of his boyish pranks. "Not until eight years ago," he re plied, "when I told her of it one even ing when she was ironing." "What did she say ?" "Xot much not "very much," an swered our old romancer, but remov ing his hat, he showed us a triangular space upon his head, such s might have been made by a hut tinooii Ing iron, and with not a hair upon its sur face. Wc thought Fatiiiv was rcveng-! l.KT -If!: TACKI.S; lil.1l. There is something in the Scotch brogue that is interesting to almost every one, provided ol course they know enough of it to understand tlie drift of what is said. Of all Ihe ex amples that have been given of it any where, we think t.'iere is nothing much better than the following: iu a cas e in Wliiell .TcfPrnv ntul Cockbuni, when barristers, were en gaged, a question ar se as to tlie sani ty of one of the pTirties concerned. "Is the defendant iu your opinion, perfectly suue?" said Jefl'iey, interro gating one of tho witnesses, a dam, stupid-looking country nun. The witness gazctl iu bewilderment at the oiiestioiirr. but. (i-uca t... nnt...p i - t, - o"u, Jeflrey repeated the inquiry, altering ma noiua to Ji you llllllli 1110 lle- fendani capable of manaeini' his nun aliairs?" Still in vain. "I ask you," said Jeffrey, "do you consider the man perfectly rational, or not ?" fo answer yet. "Let llie tilllilc him " sni.l ( '..,.L- l,n 'lhen, ussiuiiir his broadest Scotch tone, and turning to the obdurate wit ness, he began ; "Hae ye your mull wi' ye?" "Ou. av. said tho awkward Cimon. stretching out hisenulf horn. "Noo, boo Ioiil' ban ve kent John Sampson ?" sai l Cuckhurn, taking a pinch. '"Kver sen ho was that high," whs the ready reply, tho witness indicating with his bund the alleged altitude. "An' d'ye think imo. atwecn vou an' me," said the barrister, iu Irs most insinuating Scotch manner, "that there's ony thing iiit.il tho cratur?" 1 wuilua lippcn him mi a bull call, (1 would not trust bun with the guardianship of a bull calf,) was the instant mi. I brilliant rcjoiuer. 1 he end was attained, uiuid the con vulsions of the court. Cfeor'ia irU use none but li.ru. papers for their Sunday bustles. I IHMMl MONKY. Dr. MacKenzio in nn niticlo on coining money, says : The metal (we will call it gold) having been reduced, or elevated to a perfect degree of puri ty, is cast into ingots, in crucibles of plumbago, with the requisite quantity of alloy say twenty-two parts of gold to two of copper. When n thorough amalgamation is proluced, by great heat, the liquid metnl is poured into irom mouli.s, from which, when cool, it is turned out in bars twenty-one inches long, one inch thick and nearly two inches wide. A small peice is cut from ihe end of each bar, and this fragment is assayed. A small piece of hair, about an inch in length, is put into one of two scales, protected from the dust by a glass ense, and so finely balanced this morsel of hair will turn the scale. If tho Mint nssayist, tlu.s weighing the gold, discovers impurity in it equal to that hair, he would reject the bar. This assay of tho gold is rigorously performed several times be fore the coin is delivered for circula tion, the bar of gold having been de clared to bo "all right," and of the requisite fineness, is now ready for the rolling-room. There the first thing done is to clip off the ends 'vith a huge pair of scissors or shears the theory being that such ends are sub ject to undue contraction in cooling, and the fact being that coin produced from these ends would bo "dumb," that is, not have the proper ring. The bars are then repeatedly passed be tween successive pairs of rollers of hardened steel surfaces, driven by steam power. 15y this action the length and breadth are extended, and by gradually bringing the rollers closer, the thickness is diminished. As the bars become extended, they are cut into several lengths ; each (if which, iu turn, is passed through tho rollers, until it becomes a "fillet" of the thickness required for punching out "blanks." Though tho rolling is not very rapidly performed, the work men nre careful to touch tho gold or silver only with thickly gloved hands. If you were to take up one of these fillets, you would instantly know tho reason why, for your fingers would he as severely burned ns if you bad drawn them across heated iron bars. The heat generated iu tho opera tion of rolling is very great. The finishing rolleis are so finely ad justed that the fillets (or thinned burs) do not vary in thickness iu miy part more than the len-thotioundth part of nn inch. The fillcls finally nre put in to the "drawing-bench," where they are drawn between steel dies, ns in wire drawing, to the exact thickness of the coin required. In the process ol rolling, the bars tiro annealed, to remove the hardness induced by the pressure. The fillets nro handed, when they finally leave the rollers, to a workman called the "fryer," who punches a ti ial Id sink out of each, and weighs it in a hr.I.mce; if it vary more than one- eighth of a grain in weight, that niiet is rejected. After this, it' tlie trial be satsifiictory.n final rolling reduces it to what may be called "coin thickness." Next the fillet passes into the "cutting room," where the coins are punched out of it by steam and pneumatic pressure; tho fillets being fed into tho the press rapidly, ns each of the twelve cuts out sixty blanks in each minute. The scraps left aftt r the punching ari-: culled "scissel," nnd are taken care of lo he remelted. Each Mark, actually an unstamped coin, is weighed in the automaton balance which tests twenty-three blanks per minute, and en eh to the .001 of a grain. All under a certain weight are pushed into a box to be remeltid; all oivr it are put aside to be reduced by filing. The cor rect blanks nre separately rung on a sounding iroii, and ihose'uhieli do not give a clear ringing sound are rejected. This ordeal passed, tho blanks are "milled'' on the tdtie bv a machine which raises or ribs the edge, nnd makes them iierfeclly round. They are then filed, to take off any wiry rising which the process may have pro duced. Alter this thty are annealed, to soficn them before they are struck with hardened skil dies, and ulso put into a pot of boiling diluted .-ulphui ic acid, to remove any oxido of copper from the surface. Next they arc washed with water, dried with great care iu hot sawdust, and finally put in to au oven, at a temperature slightly above that of boiling water. Tlu.-e processes produce the beautiful bloom which may be observed in new coin. Now the blanks pas into the stamping-mom, to receive the impressions, on bo;h sides, which will convert them into coin. In the Mint in Loudon the Mumping presses make much noi.-e, and convey the idea, by the tremor which their coiicus.-ioii mutes, that ihe liiihjiu; illicit pr. badly fail down. Iu the Mint at l'hilaih Iphia ibis iio-e ami this concussion arc n..t perccpti dle. There are two dies iu each coin ing pre ss. The lower one is stall. 01111 v ; the other is firmly lixed into a screw, worked by cieani, whi h, each lime 11 descends upon a blank, placed on the lower die, lual.t s the dolled ilouoh impression, te hiiicallv designated the "obverse" und the "rt verse." A sled ring or collar holds the coin while it is being stamped,' and the impressed coin falls out ns soon ns completed. A person attend to each press, nml reg ularly feeds it with a succession of blanks. Tho machine does nil the rest seizes (he blank, pushes it for ward on the die, holds it steadily there, jerks down nnother die on it, with a heavy ut noiseless thump can mill it, if required and finally drops it down. A somewhat amusing incident is told of a woman whose husband, a ' wealthy man, died suddenly "without leaving any will. The 'widow, desir I ous of securing the w hole of the prop- city, conceal 'd her husband's death, ! and persuaded a poor shoemaker to take his plane, when a will could be i made. Accordingly he wns closely ! inufHed in bed, as if very sick, ami a I lawyer culled in to write the will. The t shoemaker in a feeble voice, bequeath ,ed half of all the property to thowid ow. "What shall bo d.,no with the remaider?" asked the lawyer. "The I remainder," ho replied, "I give and j bequeath to the poor little shoemaker ! across the way, who has always been 1 a good neighbor and a deserving man; ' , Thus securing a rich bequest for him self. Tho widow was Ihuiidentruck i with the man's audacious cunning, but I did not dare to expose the fraud, and two rogues shared the estate. The John O'Gront Journal says: A clergyman resident in this country, while on his pastoral rounds a lew days ago, met a tinker lad playing on j the bngp:pes. lie listened with atten tion to the various airs played, nnd expressed his aduiirariun of the excel I lent, manner in which the minie had j been performed ; but being apprchtn ' sive that the performer's musical tal ent had been cultivate 1 at the expense ; of knowledge of a more momentous ; character, he asked him if he knew ! "What is man's chief end?" The musician, after a pause, replied, "I jdinna ken, I'm sure; but if ye'll ! whistle 'l I'll play 't !" J Quad Lewis, a Detroit journalist, has a romantic history. By being . blown up on a steamboat ho was en abled to "realize" handsome')' on n damage suit. With his hard earned . cnpilal he then entered a country printing otliee, where ho afterward wrote an account of "How it Fee's lo 1 be Blown L'p" his fiist effort in liter- , tu re. '1 he sketch had a great run in the newspapers, and Quad, astonished, kept on writing. Ho h now one of ; the spmklirg writers of the Detroit 1 iM'ce I'ress, nnd concocts romances of seven! v five chapters for the literary II-. . - weeklies at an t iioniiuiis salary. A very singular 1 r. pertv of ice is ; shown by placing a wire across a mass of that substance, and weighting it so that it will cut its way through rapid ly. The ice will reunite behind the wire nml can bo ns easily cut at any other points ns where the wire went through. A Scotch experimenter has slo iouibl that a muss of ice placed on wire gnc.e iii.d ti.lijectcd U slight pressure, will (.ass through the gauze am! reappear 0:1 ihe ether tiila in a solid mi:ss of the same shape and licar- lv the same wc!"!i bef. re "You have been hire along lime, I suppose," said a pompous Iviglish traveler to au old hunter in Oregon, who had been ailing 113 his guide. "You bet I have," said the hunter; and then pointing to M it Hood, he continued: "You see lhal. mountain there? Well, sir w hen 1 first came to Ibis country that mountain was a hole in the ground." I came for the saw, sir. What sau cer? Why, the saw, sir, you borrow ed. I borrowed 110 saucer. Sun: von did, sir; you borrowed a saw, sir." I never saw yoni saucer. But you did ; there's tho saw now, sir. Oh, you want the saw ; why didn't you say 00? A young mail hunting turkeys nt Kalamazoo, Mich., thought he saw one iu the gra-s, but a coroiie.'s jury de cided that it was the head of ihe lar mor who owned the premises, and was taking a nap.'" Is there any dancer of ihe lion-constrictor biting? usknl u visitor of a (mi. logical showman. Not the least, replied the show man ; he never bites ; he swailows his will le whole. The g'rls nt Saratog'i object, to be ing pressed to maul v vests which wear hard lumps in the shape of gold watches. An editor's pocket Mas picked at Litchlicld, Illinois, nnd he tried to make the public believe he lost i. "Fan him with your boots" is said by those familiar with the subject to be the latist thing iu slang. An idd holy, writing to her son out West, warns him to beware of biliioiis saloons and bowel alleys. A lady ei'leicd a asked for a bottle of ' dice." "Do vou rujov gooi ry?" "Why, yVs, I, drug store ami 'J.iiij's Fxperi- I he ihh, Z icha 1 be sure; who .lie Ml I ! Why lire hhu I -mil 1 ;i! a . w icked nun? Bicau-e tl.cv ;:-cgiw;i 1 j 1. e. Rates of Advertising. Ono Sipiaro (I inch,) one lnrrtlons - 81 .10 OneHipmro " one month - a no One H pmro . ". throe, months - 00 One Sipiare " midyear - - 10 00 Two Sipinres, one year -' l.i (HI (Juai te ol. " " . . . . ;so (it) Hall' " " . . . 50 (hi Ono " " . - . . pin oil r.usiness Cards, not exceeding ono inch in length, f 10 per year. I.r::al notices nt established rates. These rates nre lotar, and no deviation vill Iih made, or discrimination amoiifr (iitrons. The rates ollcred nro such, will make it to the ad vantage of men doi. j business in the limits ol tlio circulation of ti.e paper to ndvertlsn liberally. Tho latest novelty in sti'cides comes from Cleveland, where nn individual who had drawn a blauk in a lottery went to his death after tho following unique ond elnborato -preparations : He first procured a loaded revolver und connected it with clock work, so that it should be fired offat a certain time. He then got into bed, and, af ter placing the pistol behind his ear, took a dose of chloroform. Under the influence of the narcotic ho then went to sleep. At the given time the clock work pressed the trigger, discharging the pistol, and launching the slumber er into eternity. " This device is an ac cession to the plain self-shooting and hanging of ordinary suicide, and in its mechanical merits, seems tieate:', if uot quieter tli.in the gullotine. Certain young Indian gentlemen, who were pursuing the study of tho law, were one evening invited by the Master of the Temple to spend tho evening at his house. Tho time set for tho arrival of tho interesting party arrived, but nobody came. When nearly an hour had passed iu fruitless waiting, the doctor's lady rang for tho maid, w ho had not becorno quite ac customed to tho ways of tho house. She entered in a state of considerable excitemeut. "Have noue of tho gen tlemen arrived ?" asked her mistress. "Nn," answered the do.nestie ; "but a lot of Christy Minstrels have been a ringing at the bell, and I have been a driving 'em away." Oshkesh, Wis., bus had nn Enoch Anleii, but he didn't como back ami gaze through the window at tho felicity of the reconstructed household, anil then go into the green and yellow mel ancholy business ; not any. He kick ed the new husband out, sorted over tho children nnd sent his brats nfter him, nnd nfier threshing his wife, set tied down into n peaceful and happy head of the family. Two Irishmen, on a sultry night took refuge under the bedclothes from n party of mosquitoes. At last one of them, gnping from heat ventured fo peep beyond the bulwarks nnd espied a fire fly which had strayed into the room. Arousing his companion with a punch, he said ; "Furgus, Furgus, it's nn use. Ye might ns well come out. Here'i one of the ernythers searching for us will n lantern.'' Occasionally, when the train arrives nt Middlctown, Conn., a nice young man jumps off ami kisses the best look ing girl nt tho depot, supposing her to be his sister. He npologizes bo nicely that the girls me getting so they look for him regularly. Some big brother will pull his nose yet. A Sunday school (eacher who had almost become discouraged over the listlessiiess of her class, at last K it re warded by nn interesting look from a little girl, the reward wns lost when the little creature touched a bracelet on her arm, nnd asked, "Teacher, aie them threaded ou Mastic.". "Charles," said a young lady to her lover, "there is n ithiug interesting iu the paper to-day, is there, dear?" "Ni tore, but I hope there will be one day, when we both shall bo interested." Tho lady blushed, nml said, of course, "For shame, Charles !" A baby hud the misfortune to swal low the contents of nn ink bottlo. Its mother, with wonderful presence of mind, immediately administered a box: of steel pens ami two sheets of foolscap paper, and the child has felt write in side ever since. "Do you ihink Jonah cried when ho was iu the fish's belly?" was the ques tion put to an oily seaman by n sleek querist. "Don't know," replied Jack, "but should think not, as there, was plenty of blubber without his'n." At n certain church fair a sot of Cooper's works was promised to tho individual who should answer a set of conundrums. A dashing young fellow was pronounced the winner, nnd re ceived n set uf wooden puils. A printer out west, whoso office is half a mile from any other building, and who hangs his sign on the limb of u tree, advertises for un apprentice. He says: "A boy from the country preferred." Two undertakers meeting tho other day, 'die of them remarked on the vast increase of mortality. "Well," replied the other, "you're luckier than I, for I have not buried a living soul these three weeks." A i-tory is told of a person asking anothtr whether he would advise him to lend a certain friend money. "What, lend him money? You might give him an emetic, and he wouldn't return it." A lady about to marry was warned that her intended, although a good man, wan very cecentne. Well, sir.) s.iid, if he is very unlike other turn, ho U more likely to make u good husband. Wine is a mocker; stiong driuk is raging; uud whosoever is deceived thereby is not w he. Tin; hirge.-t d.iirv in Calil'orni.i con tains l.'JOd cows, ihe milK of which is elan n- .1 lit. bint, r by - earn. .' Jitinie .1 I 'i- 11 i., the lie.-', telegraph ' 1 later iu Muloj'.ii'.