(".fJWVr..M-.i n-
Site gcpuMirmi.
IS rUELISHKD EVERY WEDNESDAY, BY
W. R. DUNN.
D.Tlce In Kryox's Building, Eln Stroot.
Rates of Advertising.
Jb ORES'
One S'piaro (l inch,) one Inertlons - fl .V)
OnoHipmro " one month - - :t 0'
One Square " three months - ll 00
Onofvpnro " ono year - - 10 (ill
Two S'UnroH, one year - 1", on
tjuitrtert'ol. ;io no
1
Half " " f.O 00
One " " - ... loo oo
ICAN
- Hj M B it BJ U
TERMS, f2.no A YKAU.
$ Nn Subscription reoelvod for a shorter
porlod thnn throo months.
Correspondence solicited from nil purl
of the country. No notice will bo taken of
nnnonymou communications.
Marrlagos and Death nolicos lnsorlod
gratis.
BUSINESS DIRECTORY.
liu-onoss Cards, not exceeding ono inch
In length, f 10 per year.
" Lot U3 have Faitk that RiSht makes Might ; and in.that Faith let us to the end, dare do our duty as wo understand if-LINCOLN,
!.eg:il notices at established ra'os.
These rates are low, aud no deviation
Mil be ion ic, or discrimination anionic
VOL. V. NO. 21.
TIONESTA, PA., WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 28, 1872.
patron. Tlio rates offered are such, ss
i!l make it to the advanta'roof men dot. &
business in the limits of tlio circulation of
the laier to advertise liberally.
$2 PER ANNUM.
KKWTOK FETTIrt. MII,t:S W. TATK.
PETTIS & TATE,
"ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
Him Street, TIONESTA, Pvt.
Isaac Ash,
ATTOUXKY AT 1,AW, Oil fMty, Va.
Will practlco In Mm various Court of
Forest County. All business entrusted to
idt euro will roccive prompt attotitioii.
10 ly
W, W. Mmob, Qoorg A. Jenkn,
Tkuwal Pa. - Broubvlllt, Pi.
Mason, 4 Jonks,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW. Office on F.I in
Street, above Walnut, Tionesta, Pa.
C W. Gilfiilan,
ATTOItNEY AT LAW, Franklin, Vo
nango Co., l'n. tf.
J. R. HAIUUS, I). I). FASSKTT,
JfAHIlIH ,0 FASSETT,
Attorneys at Law, Tltusvllle Penn'a.
PRACTICK In nil the Courts of Wnrrcn,
Crawford, Forest nnd Veimngo Coun
ties. 41-tf
W. P, Mcrcilliott,
ATTORNEY .t COUNSF.LOU AT LAW
Tionesta, Pa. Office on Kim Nticct.
,Tho professional services of tlio Hon. S.
P. Johnson can he secured through ino if
desired in any business entrusted to nio in
Forest Co. Collections promptly attended
to. Also Heal Kstato Agent.
Tionesta House.
MITT EL. Proprietor, Elm St. Tio
. nesta. Pa., ut tlie moiithof thncreok,
Mr, 1 1 1 1 v has thoroughly renovated the
Tionesta House, and re-furnished it com
pletely. All who piitroni.e him will lo
well entertained ut reasonable rates, i!0 ly
FOREST HOUSE,
DrtLACIC l'UOPniKTOll. Opposite
Court House, Tionesta, Pa. Just
oponod. Everytliinir now nnd clean and
frosh, Tlio best of liquors kept constantly
on hand. A portion of the public patron
age Is respectfully solicited. 4-17-1 V
Holme3 House, .
nIONESTA. PA., opposito the Depot.
-I C. 1. Mnhio, Proprietor. Good Sta
bling connected with the houso. tf.
Syracuse House,
rpiDIOUTF.PA., J. A Maokk, Proplo
X tors. The houso has been thoroughl y
retltted nnd is now in tlio tirst-elnss order,
with the liest of accommodations. Anv
nforiniition concerning Oil Territory at
mis point will uo eiiecriuiiv lurnisiicit.
-ly J. AD. MAUISE,
Exchange Hotel,
LOWER TIDIOUTE, Pa., D. S. Rams
riKk'L it Son Prop's. This house having
Doenretlteil Is now tlio mostrtosiralilestop-
iing place in Tidiouto. A good Milliard
loom attached. 4-ly
National Hotel,
XRVIXETON, PA. W. A. Hallenlmefc,
I'roprletor. This hotel is New, and is
iw open ns a first class house, situate at
nn junction of the Oil Creek it Allegheny
liver and I'hitndclphia fc Erie Railroads,
pposite tlio Depot. Parties having to lay
ver trains will find this tho mist oonvon-
ent hotel in town, with first-class accmn-
noiliitions and reasonable charges. tf.
Dr. J. L. Acorrb,
PHYSICIAN AND SUllfi EON, who lias
had tiftcen years' experience in a largo
ana suoccssiui practice, wilt attend all
Professional Culls. Oltico In his Druut and
Grocery Storo, located in Tidiouto, near
nuiouie House.
IN HIS STORE WILL RE FOUND
A full assortment of Medicines. Liuuorg
Tobacco, Cigars, Stationery, Class. Paint.
Oils, Cutlery, and tine Groceries, all of the
iiesi quality, and will be sold at reasonable
raies.
II. R. BURGESS, nn experienced Druir-
gist from New York, has charge of the
More. All prescriptions put up accurately.
ii.
"7
JNO. P. PARK.
MA Y, VA ll K C CO.,
.B A U K E E S ,
Comer of Elm A Walnut Sis. Tionesta,
Tlank of Discount and Deposit.
Interest allowed on Timo Deposits.
Collections made on all the Principal points
of the U. 8.
Collections solicited.
18-ly.
JkO. A. Dil.K, rnn. J.T. DALK, CMltlor.
SAVINGS BANK,
Tionosta, Forost Co., I'a.
This Rank transact! a Gonoral Banking,
..onei'uuu and I'xciiano iiuhiiioss.
Dratts on the Principal tUties of the
fluted Status and Europe bought and sold.
Gold and Silver Coiti and Government
Soeiiritiea bought and sold. 7-ao lionds
"onvoiUiil on the most favorable, tonus.
InUircut allowed on time deposits.
Uar. 4, tf.
: : SLOAN & VAN GIESEN.
AND
? -W AGON-MAKER S.
. Corner of Church and Elm Stioots,
fTIONESTA
-
' This firm la prepared to do all work in
its lsue, and will warrant everything done
at their fetmps to (fivo kalistactioii. l'ur
; ticuiur ai.U3iUiou given to
fiive them trial, and you will not ro
' gret it. , l:t-ly.
" Tia Republican Office
TWEETS constantly on hand a larpo as-
IV Horlmeut ol illank liceds, Mortgages,
r!utpienas, WurrautH, Suiiiiiions, Ac. to
l,u itaJJ " bcup lor cash. tf.
D. W. CLARK,
(rovMtssioNKn's oi.kiik, forest co., pa.)
HEAL ESTATE AG EXT.
HOUSES and Lots for Sale nnd RENT
Wild Lands for Sale, 1
I have superior facilities for ascerlnining
the condition of taxes ami tax deeds, iVc,
and am therefore qiinlirtcd to act intelli
gently as Bent of those living at a dis
tance, owniuir lands in the County.
Olllne in Commissioners Room, Court
House, Tionesta, Pa.
4-41-ly. D. W. CLARK.
Fiw. mTiininnn, rr,t.
K U. DITIIIIUaiK, TruM.
T. A. wnwiiT. nfr.
VEO. W- ItlTllnnsiR,
THE SUPERIOR LUMBER CO.,
MANUFACTURERS OF
Pine Lumber, Lath, Shingles &c.
Mills on Tionrsta Creek, Forest Co., Fa.
Yards & Office tor. !2l & Rnil Road Sts.,
PITTSBURGH, PA.
Jos. Y. Saul,
PRACTICAL Harness Maker and Sad
dler. Three doors north of Holmes
House, Tionesta, Pa. All work is war
ranted, tf.
Wrr(. Fellers,
T ICENCED AUCTIONIER, will attend
x-i to all business in that line promptly,
at reasonable rates. Address
WM. KELLERS, Newmanvllle,
0-3in. Clarion Co. Pa.
KDU'AUD DITIIHIDGK.
P.. D. UITIIRIDOK
FORT PITT GLASS WORKS.
Established A. D. 1827.
PITKFUPGE& SON,
MANUFAOTUHF.IIS OP
Dithridge's xx Flint Glass
PATENT OVAL
LAMP- CHIMNEYS'.
AND
Silvered Glass Reflectors.
Thoso chimneys do not break by heat.
. Ask for DiTnwnoEs. Tako no other.
DITII RIDO E . SON,
25-ly. Pittsburgh, Ta.
f lttar!ing House.
MRS. S. H. HULINGS has built a largo
addition to her house, and is now pre
pared to acenmmodato a number of perma
nent boarders, and all transient ones who
may favor her with tiieir patronage. A
good stable has recently been built to ac
commodate tho horses of guests. Charges
reasonable. Residence on Elm St.. opoo-
ito S. Haslet's storo. 24-1 y
JOFJES HOUSE,
CLArvION, rENN'A.1
S. S. JONES -
Proprietor.
IsTEW
GROCERY AND PROVISION STORE
IN TIONESTA.
GEO. W.B0VARD&G0.
II
AVE Inst brought on a complete, and
careiuuy soiecicu siock or
FLOUrv,
GrvOCERIES, -
PROVISIONS,
and everything necessary to the complete
stock of a first-class Oroe'ery House, which
they havt oponed out at their establish
ment on Elm St., first door north of M. E.
Church.
TEAS,
COEFEES, SUGARS,
SVRUPH, FRUITS,
SPICES,
HAMS, LARD,
AND rROn.VIOXS OF ALL KINDS,
at the lowest cash prices. Goods warrant
ed to bo of tho best quality. Call and ex
amine, and we believe we can suit von.
UEO. W. BOVARD A CO.
Jan. 9, '72.
LLdYD&SON,
WATER STREET, TIONESTA, PA,
IT AVE JUST OPENED an extensive
Stock of
FLOUR AND FEED,
GROCERIES AND PROVISIONS,
Which they offer to the public at rates as
low as can bo offered by any other estab
lishment in town. Uive us a call buforo
purchasing elsowhore,
0-3m. LLOYD A SON.
A 3IIHACLK!
Mr. Samuel Hell, of W. E. Rchmertz it
Co., Wholesale Hoot and Shoe Manufactur
ers, ai Firth avenue, Pittsburgh, i'a., has
been afflicted with chronic rheumatish for
tliiity years, from his right hip to his foot,
having to use a crutch and a cane, at times
so painful as to utterly incapacitate him
from attending to his business. Having
tried every remedy known, without effect,
except Gilliland's Pain Killer, he was
finally induced to try it. A second applica
tion enabled him to lay aside his crutch,
and a third effected a permanent cure. Mr.
Hull is a popular and well-known citizen,
U a living monument of the efl'acaey of
that great nieilical discovery, Gilliland's
Pain Killer. The afflicted should ask tiieir
grocer or druggist for it, and try Its won
derful power. Mr. Gilliland, we under
stand, wants a respectable agent In every
town and cuuntv for it. The principal of
fice is at Third Avenue, Pittsburgh pa.
31-41
Poking Fun at a Railroad.
Mr. Derrick DooJ writes a follows
to tlio. Washington Cupilal about the
branch .railroad between Baltimore
atxl the Capilnl :
But about this railroad. Of course I
want it abolished, every one does. The
reckless velocity with which thu trains
are run between here and Baltimore, is
absolutely frightful. I was delighted
years ago when this road was estab
lished, because I thought wo had got
rid of the old rickety and dangerous
ly fast stage coaches, but tho speed
they are beginning to run the trains
on this road is worse yet. Now, every
one knows that Baltimore is forty
miles from Washington, if it is an
inch, and three days and a half is
plenty quick enough for tho trip, but
tho managers have already reduced
the schedule time to three days and
four hours, and what with making the
engine fires too hot, and racing with
cows along the road, and all that, the
conductors are even cutting that time
down.
Why it was only the other day, on
the down trip, we happened to spy
Simn's old mule about two miles out of
town. What should the reckless wretch
of an engineer do but clup on full
steam and race every foot of the way
into the district! We didn't exactly
pass the mule, but we caught up with
him twice, and came into the depot
neck and neck and which waspuftiug
the most, the mule or the engine, you
couldn't have told to save your life.
Now it was all very exciting, and all
that, I know, but 1 hadn't purchased
an accident ticket, and I don't believe
the other four passengers had cither.
11ns is all wrocg, Mr. Editor, all
wrong.
And then on another occasion, I ro
member, we came within a hair's
breadth of havintr a verv serious acci
dout. Tho engineer had gotten off to
snowball a chipmunk, and iheconduc
tor was minding a young widow's baby
ior ner ine result was tho train hap
pened to get on a clown grade and we
started off at a terrific rate, every bit
ot tour wiles au hour, 1 should think
We were just half a mile above the
Annapolis junction, and the first thing
we knew there being no whistle to
wake up tho switch-tender we wc
turned off into the Annapolis road
and went down the track at full speed.
Imagine our consternation, when just
ai mis moment we heard the whistle,
not a half mile ahead of us of the
Annapolis up train. We were para
lyzert with terror. Here were two
trains on the same track approaching
each other at the dizzy speed just
mentioned. Iviuently our time had
come I lna Jew. short hours the en
ciues would meet, and then dedrue
Hon I With great presence'of mind, a
minister on board organized a prayer
meeting, rale but calm the doomed
band of passengers sat, aud though
wiiu uie very shadow ot death upon
inetn, raised their voices in a parting
nymn.
"Send for the bnggngo master," said
a young man with a sad smile.
"Why?" was asked.
UTI 11
- jecatise we are an about to pass
in our cnecKs. -
iveryDoay wept, iroin tho rear
platform we could see the miserable
engineer straining every nerve to catch
up, but he had tight boots on and
didn t gain anything to speak of.
At this moment a ray of hope
ciawnea upon us. I had just finished
writing my will on the back of a v
i i t i
uing cara, wnen i observed a young
lady in the act of detaching her bustle.
Placing the article which was com
posed of eight hundred Capitals and a
hair mattress under her arm. the
heroine marched through the car. We
followed her anxiously.
She climbed up on "the tender and
then over the engine. It was very in
teresting aud thrilling to see hor climb
ing over the wheels aud brass things
on her way to the cow-catcher. It, re
minded me of a country girl getting
over a wire fence. But never mind
about that now. Let me seo where I
was. Oh! yes on the cow-catcher.
Holding on by the cross bars with one
hand, the noble maiden tied the bustle
on the sharp prow with the other.
You can guess the result. In the
course of the afternoon the collisiou
came off. Protected by tho bustle,
the engine received a gentle bump,
and we were saved !
I took up a collection for tho wo
man on the spot. I always take up a
collection on such occasions always.
Thero is nothing mean about mo. I
suppose you have noticed my clothes?
A Western paper describes the man
of love-making practiced among some
of its readers, in the following para
graph : "The young people who were
seen feeding each other dove fashion,
over a gate post the other evening, had
better bo a little more cautious in the
future,"
An unscrupulous writer says that
Tennie C. Clatlin's spurs penetrate the
equine flunks from opposite directions.
To thif fabrication she indignantly re
plies: "I'm no rooster; I don't wear
spurs nor rido straddle legs. The
writer is a liar."
Earnings of Magazine Writers.
The other day I observed a state
ment that Bret Harte had made an ar
rangement with the proprietors of the
"Atlantic," by which ho was to rccoivo
$12,000 a year for twelves article to be
contributed one a month to that
magazine. I venture to sav that the
foundation for this story is very slight.
The "Atlantic" people are not inclined
to pay any such prico for contributions;
and, though they gave Mr. Ilarte a
very extravagant rate last year to
write exclusively for thoir periodicals,
neither thev nor ho, I understand, were
satisfied with the eugagement.and bo,h
were clad to discontinue it at the close
of the twelve-month. Tho literary
men and women who have written ex
tensively for certain publications have,
so far us I know, been much pleased
at the expiration of the time of their
contract. They say that they always
led not only cramped and conhned,
but that something extraordinary were
expected of them. They lose, to a
largo extent, the stimulus and motive
for composition, aud feel conviccd that
under the circumstances they cannot
do their best work. One of the most
desirable engagements a follower of
the quill can make (1 have long been
looking for just such a one) is to be
restricted to a single publication, and
not even to write for that. Were I
immensely wealthy, and philanthropic
at the samo time, I should certainly
buy up in this way many industrious
and conceited scribblers, who, in sea
son and out of season, inflict their pro
ductions upon a patient and long-suffering
public. To return to the Atlan
tic. It is not in the habit of bestow
ing any such munificent price upon
authois as that associated with the
name of Mr. Hart6. Tho highest rate
which it allows to its most favored
contributors, liko Emerson, Lowell,
Holmes and others never, if I am
rightly informed, exceeds $250 an ar
ticle, while $100 is regarded by them
as a handsome figure for a first-class
contribution. Few things are more
delusive than writing for the maga
zines, unless one likes to write for
pleasure, whicli, assuredly, is not tho
feeling of A professional. I hear al
most every day ambitious desires and
rash menances to make a livelihood
by this sort of labor. The livelihood
so made would, I opine, be meagre
and unremunerative, indeed. Jn the
whole country there are not more than
eight or ten monthlies, and of these
only five or six are really prosperous,
and capable of purchasing manuscripts
at fair rates.
It is hardly possible, under the most
favorable circumstances, to get more
than three nrticlcs priutcd a year in
any one periodical, so that all the very
highest, fifteen would be the amount
of achievement. The contributions
would not average more than $80 a
piece in all probability not so much
and, consequently, their authors would
realize $1,200 per annum. He or she
who should have fifteen articles a year
in all the magazines would seem to be
a perpetual aud irresponsible scribbler,
aud however well they might bo writ
ten, they would tire the public and
provoke hostile criticism from their
frequency. I question if anybody has
auy such number printed, and I am
sure that the majority of literatcttrs
who are considered regular contribu
tors to the mouthlies, do not usually
earn $1,000, or even $900 per annum
in that particular field. I can't see
how any one not lifted above daily
wants aud weekly needs can afford to
pursue literature save as a recreation.
Whenever I hear a man talk of living
by his pen, outside of a journalistic
position, I have a shudderinor suspi
cion either that he is vaporing, or that
no lias lound some extremely economi
cal method of supporting existence.
Button Correspondence Chicago Trib
une. Some very curious discoveries have
been made by medical gentlemen in
the service of life insurance compa
nies, not generally apprehended by
well-informed physiological savants.
It is this, viz : the children of long
lived parents live a little longer than
the parents. If ouly one is loug liveij
and the other is from a stock with less
vital force, then the children have a
sort of division of vitality among them.
One will live to be very aged, while
another falls considerably short of the
life period of the shortest lived pareut.
But thra is another fact still more
surprising, pretty nearly as well es
tablished. When a child arrives at
the age at which either parent died,
asiue irom accidental cause, it will be
come indisposed, gradually sicken, aud
may die. If it survives at that time,
it may pass through a similar state of
vital disturbance on or about the an
niversity of the other paront's death;
but if that is passed, some years inore
may be safely predicted as a lifo-leaso
for the individual. Laws of limitation
are not exclusively legislative acta.
Nature established them before con
gresses and parliaments were organ
ized. The following uotico may be seen
on a blacksmith's shop in Essex : "No
horse shod ou Sunday, except sickness
and death,"
A Showman's Sick Child.
Doctor Lemoni was one of the most
courtly and affable of Paris physicians.
He was once called upon by an athlet
ic, ruddy personage, who certainly
seemd in no individual need of the
distinguished doctor's advice; the lat
ter, too, in kind effort to reassure the
embarrassed visitor,addressed him with
his usual politeness aud condescen
sion.
"Monsieur, I am the proprietor of
a menagerie,"said the square shoulder
ed man, "and one of my children is
sick"
"Exactly, my friend. Of what na
ture is the disease?"
"He ran a splinter into his thigh;
it is very ugly monsieur, but I am rich
enough to pay well."
"Very well, my man," replied the
doctor, unable to suppress a smile at
the simplicity of his visitor, "we will
talk of that after a while. Tell me
explicitly what is the matter with
your child ?"
"Monsieur, the splinter is festered
in bis thigh, and he will not let any
one touch it ; he is headstrong, fur all
he is very gentle. It will be necessary,
I know, to perform a slight operation ;
but he is violent and headstrong about
it"
"Leave his violence to me. How
old is he?"
"Four years only. But I am afraid
he will bite or scratch you if you at
tempt to touch it. You must admin
ister chloroform."
"Not at all, my good man. Your
child cannot be very daugerous on the
exercise of his temper it he is only
four years old."
"But he is large for his age "
"No; I will go with you to sec your
boy. It were folly to administer chlo
roform in such a case."
"But, monsieur, you do not know
him so well as I," continued the man,
importunately. "I pray, I beseech
you to take the chloroform all the
same, in case you should need it."
To dispel the anxiety of the nervous
man, Doctor Lemoni carried with him
the required amcethetic, and shortly
arrived at the house of the beast-tamer
"I have put him up stairs, doctor,
where the poor fellow would be un
disturbed. Ascend with mo, please."
They mounted to a kind of loft.
The doctor having entered, the show
man followed and closing the door be
hind him, quickly locked it. The
former, turning in some surprise, de
scried a full grown lion slowly ap
proaching tlicm, with an unquestion
ably wicked and meuancing snarl.
Tho beast-tamer grew pale; and
when he addressed some soothing
brute language to theauirual, his voice
trembled. The doctor became ghastly
pale and covered with a cold sweat.
"For hc-aveu's sake, doctor, bo
quick !" whispered tho beast-tamer,
hoarsely ; "he is ugly to-day."
Still showing his white teeth, the
lion crouched in the attitude prepara
tory to a spring. He dashed the chlo
roform which he held in the minimi's
face. Tho latter recoiled and began
to droop under the effects of the drug.
This permitted a still further adminis
tration of it, till he was finally stretch
ed powerless before them. The opera
tion required was then made upon the
wound, and the proper restoratives ap
plied. Neither the doctor nor showman,
spoko a word until they bad descended
the steps.
"Monsieur," said the showman'you
have saved, by your wonderful pres
ence of mind, a life whose value is in
calculable to me. Permit mo to offer
you my grateful thanks aud to give
you your fee." And he handed the
other a hundred-franc note.
"Thank you, Monsieur Doniteur,"
replied the physician, "and when you
have need of services for a similar case,
I pray you "
"I will certainly call you in."
"No, no, that is not what I intend
ed pray summon some other doctor."
A London letter contains this refer
ence to the habits and industry of
President Thiers: "He rose before
six yesterday, received and read dis
patches, gave audiences, conferred with
his Ministers, scolded a young Sub
Prefect who had left his duties to run
away with a Citce, lauded aud consult
ed other functionaries ; after breakfast
he accompanied M. Goulard to the
Finance Committee, aud Rpokc, in his
wonted lucid but discursive slyle, for
two hours, on the machinery by which
he meant to work the coming loan ;
then crossing over to U'o National
Assembly and spoke for three hours
and a half ou the various schemes of
taxation which had been proposed ; af
terward received a large compuny at
dinner, letting off whole streams of an
ecdote and information of varied kinds,
and retired to rest at midnight, to bo
gin again the same rutino ou the mor
row. Pretty well this for au old mun
of 74."
During tho haying season Maine
farmers send their daughters to mar
ket. The pretty girls get five tents
a quart more for berries thau the "old
man" could possibly obtain, whicli wo
should call equal rights with some
thing to boot..
A Human Kangaroo
A Chicago paper well calls the sub
ject of the following sketch a "human
kangaroo :"
Coming into the city on a Chicago,
Burlington and Quincy train as it en
tered the suburbs recently, a youngster
about ten years old, with one leg am
putated to a very brief stump, was ob
served handling his crutch briskly
along the side of the track, evidently
with a skilled purpose to get his mo
mentum up to that of the rapidly mov
ing train. He did it, and climbed up
on the rear platform, and sat down as
cool as though his feat had not excit
ed the wonder of a score of passengers
who watched him. The appearance
was as if a lame lad had taken some
risk to take a ride downward. But at
Canal street he climbed down from his
perch, and went back down tho track
with flying leaps, like a kangaroo.with
evident purpose of boarding a long
freight train, already under good head
way in tho opposite direction. It was
au explot only tho most adroit and
venturesome railway employees would
think of attempting, so great was tho
speed of tho strain ; but again the
brisk monopode achieved it, clung like
a monkey to the iron ladder on the
side of the car, near the rear of tho
train, and went up, hand over hand,
with his crutch uuder his arm. Tho
next instant he was running or rut her
hopping, with long leaps at full speed
along the top of the cars, taking the
the interspaces as easily as a boy skips
over a crosswalk. And then ve learn
that this midge is the victim of an ex
traordinary passion for riding on the'
cars. Of course he lost his leg in this
way, at the Oreat Eastern crossing
eighteen months ago, and was provid
ed with attendance and a light crutch
oy the railroad company. Any one
would think the loss of a leg would be
a lesson for a life-time, but instantly
on recovery he resumed his sport,
which had become a passion. Since
that time he pusses his whole day in
the manner above uoticed. His mis
fortune has really equipped him with
means of locomotion with which he
distances all two-legged youngsters.
He captures every train that passes.
takes excursions into the country at
will, sure of being able to compass
ins return in the same way. Kail
road employees scold and put him off,
but his crippled condition secures him
immunity, and as he never inouuts
train until it is 'in motion, he gives
them the option to stop the train or
throw him off. There is no moral to
the story beyond the mention of the
fact. If the loss of it leg is no lesson
to boys to keep off moving trains,
there seems to be no remedy except to
shorten them at tho other end. Per
haps, after all, it is as well for the
trains to carry this youngster as
prominent advertisement to the other
lads tf the peril of tho practice of
which they are so noted an example
A Big Dinner.
A couple of flat-boatmen on the
Mississippi luvcr, having made an ex
traordinarily good speculation made,
iu fact, six hundred dollars, a very
larirc sum to that kind of folk tiventv
yeurs ago concluded that while- they
were in New Orleans thev would fur
once in their lives see what it was to
have a real first-class hotel dinner.
They could afford it, and they would
just like to seo how it would co. So
thev went to the St. Charles Hotel
and ordered the very best dinner that
that establishment could atlord. When
thev hud eaten to their rnmnlcrn nnd
entire satisfaction (aud tho probable
nsioiiisiiment ot the waiters), they
called for their bill. The waiter in
attendance misuiulerstandinir them
and supposing that they wanted the
uiu oi iare, laid it oetore them, with
the wine-list uppermost.
"Whew. Bill!" said .lerrv: "here's
a bill. Just look at it! Here, you
add up one side, und I'll add up "the
other, and we'll see what the old thing
comes to."
So Bill added up the prices of wines
on one sine oi me list, and Jerry ad
ded them up on the other, and" they
niailo the sum total $084.
"Wh ew, Bill!" sai.l Jerry; "that's
nigh all we've got. What are wo goiu'
to do about it?"
"We can't pay that," said Bill ; "it
ud clean us right out. Tho waiter
ain't here now ; lets jump out o' the
window and put."
"No, sir-ee," said Jerry, "I'd never
do sich a mean thing as that. Let's
pay the bill, and theu go down stairs
and shoot the landlord."
Just then the waiter explained, when
they paid their bill and departed
greatly relieved of their tciuporury
embarrassment.
A lady in Lcwiston, Me., has a
dress which sho has worn every sum
mer for twenty-live year's. The dry
goods men look upon her with perfect
scorn, while sho is beloved by every
married mun in town.
"Albany has four hundred dwelling
houses and two thousand four hundred
inhabitants, till standing with their
gable cuds to the streets. " So it was
printed iu a school geography uotlotig
ago.
Too Thin For Gasmen.
It has been ascertained that tho
fumes of the purifying rooms of gas
works, will cure the wboopiug cough.
To test it a lady, took two of her chil
dren there. The superintendent of tho
works very kindly waited upon her to
the rooms.
After a few moments lie noticed a
black streak along her forehead, near
the hair, but supposing she had mado
it by some crook from her fingers,
thought nothitig more of it, and he
left the parties to inhale tho vapors.
When ready to depart, ho suggested
to the lady that before she went back
to tho city sho had better look in a
mirror, which she did aud was not a
little surprised to find her faccasblack"
as charcoal, from the hair around to
her cars, and uuder the chin.
After much scrubbing with soap and
water, she succeed in making herself
white. She inquired. anxiously of tho
superintendent, who is a family man,
and knows how it is himself, what
could posaibly have caused it. Ho
very politely intimated that it might
be something she put on her before she
came there, which she indignantly de
nied she didn't "powder," not she!
"Madam," said he, "that's too thfn.
You can't cheat the gasworks."
A good story is told of two promi
nent candidates for county positions.
One of them, Mr. W , owns sonio
corn-fields in a certain valley, and
having occasion to visit them, he in
vited a well-known politician of tho
locality to ride with him. Oa arriving
at tho spot, it is said that W drove
up ou a hill overlooking a splendid
field of growing wheat which belonged
to him. After bragging about for
some time, he turned to his political
compauion and said, "You see what a
spleudid field of wheat this is. Now,
if you will exert your influence in my
behalf.I'll give.you the best acre of it.
His political companion turned ab
rubtly around, and viewed him for a
few seconds with mute ustonishment.
He then warmly exclaimed, "You
must be a stupid ! P has agreed
to give nie'the flour in the sack !"
Islington dairies, we are told; prin
cipally supply London with milk. A
curious story is related of an honest
dairyman. When he bought his "milk
walk," the seller offered him, for 30,
the receipt for adulterating tho fluid.
It was indignantly refused. He fur
nished his customers pure milk, and
he lost nearly every one of them. They
complained of the color, the taste, tlip
effects of tho fluid, accused him of
adulterating it, and went .to other
dealers. In despair, he bought tho
oflered recipe. It gave directions for
watering the milk, and for compound
a mixture (a rank poison), one drop
of which would givo a pan of milk
the appearance of cream. The pur
chaser recoiled from such a course,
made another effort to find customers
for pure milk, failed, and sold out,
A certain French gentleman, jwho
had only just arrived in America was
invited to a friend's houso, where a
largo bowl of punch was made a
liquor he had never seen before, and
and which did not at all agree with
him. Having forgotten the nnmo of
it, he asked a person the next day :
"What dey cull dut liquor in Amer
ica which is all do contradiction ?
where is do brandy to muke it strong,
and de water to innse it weak; do su
gar to make it sweet, and de lemons to
make it sour ?"
"I suppose vou mean punch," an
swered tho oilier.
"Ah, ponche, begar!" cried mon
sieur : "it almost ponche my brain out
last night." v
A reporter upon a western paper,,
speaking of a certain fair creature, re
marked that "tho profusion and color
of her hair would lead one to look up
on it as Miough it was spun by nimblo
fingers of the easy bouts as they glided
through the bright June days, whoso
sunny rays of light had b?en caught
iu tho meshes aud were content to go
no farther." This ii ono way of look
ing at it. It expresses the idea with
delicacy, and poetry, and tenderness,
which are never attempted by the
brutal reporters who slash out "para
graphs iu this part of the country. If
any of our journulists had undertaken
to describe that woman they would
probably have alluded to her as a
"rcJ headed girl." We have much to
learn from theso inhabitants of tho
Western wilds.
A prim looking
elderly South Bust
A prim looking vouth went ta nn
V South Boston newsdealer th
other day, and claimed an acquain
tance which the gentleman was slow to
recall. "You don't know me," snys
the young man. "Why I am ,
tho sou of Mr. ; father took
papers of you for yeurs before ho died,
and 1 have ever since; but we've
moved from street, and now
live over the bill. By the way, Mr.
llich, 1 believe Lowe you a dollar ou
tho last quarter." The old gentle
man's pulse, quickened; ho took an
other pood look and remembered. His
youthful debtor produced a ten-dollar
bill, the debt was settled and they bado
eacd other a courteous udicu. The bill
proved to be a counterfeit.