IS rUBI.milEU EVERY WEDXBSDAY, BY
W. R. DUNN.
Dfflco In Kriox's Bulldlryg, Elrri Street.
TISUMS, $2.00 A YEAR.
No Rubserliitions.reoolvod for a shorter
period thnn throe months. .
Correspondents solicited from nil parts
of thn country. No notice will be taken of
annofmous communications.
Marriages and Death notices Inserted
gratia.
BUSINESS DJ EC TORY.
. NKWTOS PETTIS.
MILK)) W. TATK.
PETTIS & TATE,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
.Aim Street, TIOXICSTA, TA.
Isaao Ash,
ATTORNEY AT LAW, Oil City, Pa.
Will practice In the various Courts of
Forest County. All business entrusted to
is rare will recoive prompt attention.
10 ly
WyWr , Gaorg A. Jenlis,
1U..I, r. Bnukvlll, r.
Masory Jertks,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW. Ollleo on Elm
Street, love Walnut, Tlonesta, I'a.
C. W. Gllflllan,
ATTORN EY'AT LAW, Franklin, Ve
nango Co., I'a. tf.
J. R. HARRIS, D. D. FASSETT,
UAJtlllS FASSETT,
Attorneys at Law, Tltusvlll Penn'a.
I 'ACTICE In all the Courts of Warren,
, -Crawford, Forest and Vonango Coun
ties? 4!)-tf
W. P. Morcllllott,
ATTORNEY A COUNSELOR AT LAW
Tionosta, Pa. Oflloe on 101 in Street,
The profeHHional sorvieos of the Flon. S.
P. Johnson can besecurod throuirh no if
desired In any business entrusted to me in
Forest Co. Collections promptly attended
vt. aiho iteai I'hihio AK'cnt.
Tlonesta House.
MITTEL, Proprietor, Elm St.,Tlo-
tiesta, Pa., at the moutliof (heoreok,
Mr. Illlo has thorouKhly renovatnl tho
Tlonesta House, and re-furnished it com
pletely. All who patronize him will be
well entertained at reasonable rates. 20 ly
FOREST HOUSE,
"TV RLACK PROPRIETOR. Opposite
XJ Court IXoiimo, TioncHta, Pa. Just
opened. Kverythlm? now and clean and
fresh. The beat of liquors kept constantly
on nana, a portion oi mu puollo patron
go la rospoctfullysolloited. 4-17-lv
Holmes House,
HMONESTA, PA., opposite tho Depot.
X C. I). Muble, Proprietor. Oood- Sta
bling coiinoctoil with the house. if.
Syracuse House,
TUDIOUTK, Pa., J. A D Maoee, Proplo-
.- ion,, x no nouse naa neen tuorouniy
refitted and Is now in the first-class order,
with tho best of accommodations. Auv
nformation concerning Oil Territory at
mm puuit wiu uy cucemuiv inrniHiiea.
-ly J. it D. M AUK 13,
Exchange Hotel,
LOWER TIPIOUTE, Ta., D. 8. Rams
dkki. A Bon Prop's. This house having
Doon ronton is now tne most UiiMlralilo stop
ping plaeo in Tidiouto. A good Ili'liard
Room attoclied. 4-ly
National Hotel,
JRVINETON, PA. W. A. Hiillenbnck,
Proprietor. This hotel is New. and is
iw open as a first Vlass house, situitto at
no junction oi tncruu creeK A Allenliony
stiver and Philadelphia A Erie Ruilroads,
pposito the Depot. Parties having to lay
vcr wains win nun mis cue mom conven
mt hotel In town, with first-class accom
iiodatlons and reasonable charges. tf.
Dr. J. L. Acom,b,
PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON, who has
1 bad tlftoen years' experience in a hirpo
nd uocossfuf practice, will attend all
Professional Calls. Otllce in his Drug and
Urooory Store, located lii Tidiouto, near
mi. ii ... 1
1IUJUUU) 11UUKQ.
IN II IS STORE WILL BE FOUND
A full assortment of Medicines. Linunrw
Tobacco. Clirars. Stationerv. tilitss. Paints.
Oils, Cutlery, and tlno llro'cories, all of tho
best quality, and will be sold at reasonable
rates.
II. R. BURGESS, an experienced Dnnr
plstfrom New York, has charge of the
Ttore. au proscriptions put uj accurately,
tl.
JNO. A. Dll.I. Prut.
J. T. DALE, Caalilar.
TIOITESTA
SAVINGS BANK,'
Tionosta, Forest Co., Pa.
This Bunk transr.cbi a Gonoral Banking,
Collw ting and Kxehango Business.
Drafts on the Principal Cities of the
United States and Kurope boughtand sold.
Uold and Silver Coin and tiovernnient
Securities bouglit and sold. 7-30 Bonds
converted on tho most favorable terms.
Interest allowed on time deposits.
Mar. 4, tf.
Lloyd & Son,
WATEB STREET, TIONESTA, PA.
'IT AVE JUST OPENED an oxtensivo
Stock of
FLOUR AND FEED,
GROCERIES ADD PROVISIONS,
Which they offer to the public at rates as
low as euu be ollered by any other estab
lishment in town. . Ulve us a call before
purchasing elsewhere.
0-3m. LLOYD A SON.
SLOAN & VAN GIESEN.
BLACKSMITHS
AND
WAGON-MAKERS.
Cornor of Church and Elm Streets,
TIOISTESTA. H?V.
This firm Is prepared to do all work in
its lino, and will warrant everything done
at their shops to give satisfaction. Par
ticular attention given to
iioitsi:-siioi:ij,
Oive them a trial, and you will not re
gret it. la-ly.
SUBSCRIRK fur the Forest Republican
It will pay.
ID
i OREST
" Lot us have Faith
VOL. V. NO. 18.
D. W. CLARK,
(COMMISNlONErt'ei.KltK, KOHEST CO., PA.)
REAL ESTATE AGENT.
HOUSES nnd TMs for Siilo and RENT
Wild Iinds for Sale, 1 .
I have superior facilities for ascertaining
(he condition of taxes and tax deeds. Ac..
and am therefore qimlitlod to act Intelll-
genuy asagent or tiiose living at a dis
tance, owning lauds in the County.
Olllco in Comnilssionors Room, Court
Tlonso, Tionosta, Pa.
4-41-ly. D. W. CLARK.
T. A. wmortT. IWr.
UEU. W. DtlllltlliuR,
THE SUPERIQR LUMBER CO.,
MANUFACTURERS OF
Pine Lumber, Lath, Shingles dtc.
Milli on Tioncsta Creek, Forest To., Fa.
Yards & Office eor. 22d I Rail Road Sts.,
PITTSBURGIT, PA.
Jos. Y. Saul,
PRACTICAL Harness Maker and Sad
dler. Throe doors north of Holmes
House, Tlonesta, Pa. All work Is war
ranted, tf.
Kdwihd DiTHRinnx.
K. D. DITIiniDUK
FORT PIN GLASS WORKS.
Establislicd A. D. 18'.7.
BtTttaioGE & sate.
MANUFACTUItKIlS OF
Dithridge's xx Flint Glass
PATENT OVAL
LAMP CHIMNEYS.
AND ,
Silvered Glas3 Reflectors.
Thoso chimneys do not break by boat.
Ask for DiTiininans. Take no other.
DIT1IRIDGE & SON,
Pittsburgh, Pa.
2o-ly.
USew ISoartlinn; Ilouse.
MRS. S. S. HULINOS has built a lartse
aildition to h(r house, and Is now pro
pared to ai'commodateanumberof perma
nent boarders, nnd all transient ones M ho
may favor her with their pntronaire. A
good stable has recently been built to ac
commodnto tho horses of quests. Charges
reasonable Kcidenco on Elm St., oppo
site S. Haslet's store. &i-ly
JONES HOUSE,
CLARION, TENN'A.:
S. a JONES
Proprietor.
GROCERY AND PROVISION STORE
' IN TIONESTA.
GEO. W. B0VARD & GO.
HAVE t1nst brought on a complete and
caroiully selected stock of
FLOUR,
GROCERIES,
PROVISIONS,
and everything necessary to tho complete
stock ofatirst-clossdrocerv House, which
tl-ey have opened out at their establish
ment on Elm St., tt rBt door north of M. fc.
Church.
TE VS
COFFEES!, ' SUGARS,
SYRUPS, FRUITS,
SPICES,
HAMS, LARD,
A KD mo risioxs OF all kixd.
at the lowest cash prices. Goods warrant
ed to be of the best quality. Coll and ex
amine, and we believe we can suit you.
GEO. W. BOVARD A CO.
Jan. . '72.
A M I IS A V 1j 13 !
Mr. Samuel Rell, of W. E. Schmortz
Co., WholesalcHoot and Shoe Mauut'uc)iir
ers, 81 Fifth avenue, Pittsburgh, Pa,, has
been uidicted with chronic rlieumatiHh lor
thiity years, from his right hip to his foot,
having to use a crutch and a cone, at times
so painful as to utterly incapacitate him
from attending to his business. Having
tried overy" remedy known, without effect,
except Gilliland's Pain Killer, he was
finally induced to try it. A second applica
tion enabled him to lay aside his crutch,
and a third etlooted a permanent euro. Mr.
Rell is a popular and well-known eiti.en,
is a living monument of the etliicoey of
that great niedicul discovery, Gilliland's
Pain Killer. The atllk ted should ask their
grocer or druiigist for it, and try its won
derful power. Mr. Gilliland, 'we unilcr
stand, Nants a lospoctable agent ill every
town add crtunty tor it. The principal of
fice is ut Tl Third Avenue, Pittsburgh Pa.
ai-4t
AGENTS WANTED Bound canvass
ing book
SENT FREE!
of postage on recoipt of 75 cunts, aud ex
clusive territory granted on the
PICTORIL HOME BIBLE.
Contains over iu illustrations. Is a com
plete Library of Biblical Kuowled'.'o. Kx
cellsall others. In English and Gorman.
Win. Flint A Co., Phila., I'a. 27-4t
THE
BOOT AND SHOE
STOBE.
TF YOU WANT a perfect lit and a good
X article of Boots and Shoes, of tho tnest
workmanship, go to
II. I.. McCAXCirw, '
3'J CENTRE STREET, OIL CITY, PA.
.-Satisfaction cuurautccd. H-33 if.
that Right uiakos Might ; and
TIONESTA, PA., WEDNESDAY. AUGUST 7, 1872.
THE HIGH PRESSURE NOVEL A
TAKE OFF.
Once upon a time there was a fair
young maiden, whose noma was Mary,
although they called her Moll, for
short. She wasn't a tall, dnrk-oyed
maiden, with clear, transparent gkin,
aud lips like cherries, and cheeks
suffused with blushes. She cfiJn't have
glossy black hair, sweeping back in
wavy tresses from licr queenly brow,
and her form wasn't a bit like Hebe's.
No, there was none of thoso things on
the contrary, she was short nnd thin,
And had red hair and freckles, and she
also sported snaggle teeth and wore
pads, but still she was a right nice
girl, aud there was a young man who
fell in love with her, and his name was
Bill, although his friends called him
William when they wanted to hurt
his led in ''9, lor he didu t like it much
He wasn't fine looking, aud had neith
er curly brown hair nor a moustache.
Not much Bill laid himself out on
soap-locks, and wore a goatee that he
had dyed twice a week.
Now this Bill was jn love with Mary,
but did he go and make a deliberate
ass of himself? Did he, I say, go into
a grove with her, and iu the soft moon
light, by the streamlet that murmured
sweetly by, and with the tender ze
phyr sigWWgmli rough the foliage fall
down on Ins knees, seize her jeweled
hand and breathe bis deep affection in
the tender accents of fund attachment,
and swear "by yon bright orb above
us, always to be 11111101: Did he, 1
say? You can just bet he didu't. You
can lay out your whole revenge safely
on that. William knew too much
about the price of pants to go flopping
urouud on the wet grass with his good
clothes on ; besides ho never cared any
thing about streamlets or any kind of
cold water, except to mix with his em.
No, sir, but this William met. her at
the alley gate, and says ; "Say, Moll,
old L'al, s posen we cet bitched :
But how did Mary behave? Did she
go dropping to sleep over on the bricks
in a dead faint, or did she hide her
gentle head on his shirt bosom to con
ceal her blushes r No, she did 11 1 and
she didn't say, "I'm ever thine, my
wn love, dear William 1 Uh, my, no
She looked right iu his yellow eves,
aud Ays : "I'm in, Billy ; I'm the gal
lor tlfuse sort 01 things. (Jo in I
Now, tho old man wasn't wealthy,
for he sold sonp-iat for a living, and
so he didu't think Bill was nosing
around after his stamps , so when Bill
asked him, he neither ordcrei him
fiercely away nor did the dewev mois
turo gather in his eagle eye as he
passed his hemstitchcJ haukerchicf up
there and said : "liless von, my cinl
dren, bless vou !" Oh no nothing of
the sort. He just blew his old red
nose in his bandanna and told Bill to
take her, along, for he was glad to get
rid 01 her, he was, and William would
be the same mighty Boon, tor' she was
awful rough on victuals, and always
broke plates when sue got mad.
So, you see, tlwre really was no ue
cessity for William to come at mid
night's solemn hour, in a' cab, and
throw a rope-ladder up to her window,
and whistle three times on his lingers,
and then tro up, band over hand, aud
bring her down in oue hand and her
truuk in the other, and a band-box
aud au umbrella under each arm, and
a whole lot of bundles ; and then get
into the cab aud fly to some distant
shore. That's the way it would have
beeu in a novel ; but Bill said he wasn't
on that lay, and so ho just went out
iu the yard, and out of pure joy lie
skinned the cat three or four times on
the grape-vine arbor, and then went
aud got in his butcher cart aud drovo
Mary right down to tho magistrate to
get the job done for a quarter for he
said he was some on low prices, he
was.
But the very queerest thing of all
was, that Bill had no tall, dark, ruffian
ly rival, with a scrowling visage aud
black whiskers, who flew at him with
a drawn dagger and a horse-pistol in
each baud, and a muttered curse upon
his lips, aud cried wildly for 'Revenge.'
Ha 1 ha! aud said "Death !" and "Vil
lain, thou diestl" Not any. There
was auother fellow in love with Mollie,
to be sure, but he was a weak-eyed
young man, who had saudy hair aud
wore spectacles aud a choker collar,
aud always looked scared when you
hollared at him. Bo, when he saw
that Bill had the best of the girl's
affections, he looked all 6creno and
said : "Go in, Billy, if you hanker fur
her ;" and as Bill was a triilo on the
hanker, he sailed in.
So William, you see had no trouble
at all aud you couldn't get up au
agonizing novel about him if you tried,
lie didn't have any urgeut business
that called him to a foreign land, and
so had to bid her a fund good-bye, and
swear always to be true, aud then go'
away and forget her, and fall in love
with a dark eyed Italian girl, picking
grapes iu a viueyard, with a square
towel folded on her head, while his
forgotten aud forsaken Maiy gradual
ly faded aud pined away, aud bufllcd
the physician s skill, aud grew paler,
and at last, when the June roses were
in bloom, lying gently down to die,
while through the open wiudow float
ed iu the bultuy odor of'jcssauiiue and
honeysuckle. And William didn't
Republican
in that Faith let us to the end,
come homo at last, and filled with
deathless remorse, go daily to the
sweet cemetery and strew flowers on
her grave, and teach his children to
lisp her name. Not at all. That is
the way Mrs. E. 1). E. N. Southworlh
would have dono it, but she wasn't
round. Bill was a butcher who wore
a hite shirt and a shiny hat, and ho
stayed at home and killed beef and
sold it at a big price, and stuck to
Mary, and she kept healthy and wasn't
much on the pine, or the fade, while
if any fellows got to lurking around,
William went right out and batted
them in the eye, he did.
And then, at last, when all was over,
Mary didn't sit in the room while they
dressed her n white, and mixed
orange blossoms in her waterfall, and
then go gently down stairs with six
bridesmaids at her heels, and stand
up with her William, aud weep gently
while she was being married by the
minister, and then get lost of present,
r.nd then go to her new house and live
through all the happy years with Billy
and never know sorrow or trouble any
more. Why of course, she didn't for
it wasn't her style, you see.
She just rushed up stairs and put on
her pink muslin and her sun bonnet,
and had nary bridesmaid, and went to
the magistrate's and never wept a
particle, and got no presents but fif
teen cents from tho old man to pay her
car fare home, and when she got to
the magistrate's she just rose off the
bench and told Bill she didn't see
much use in splicing, aud that she
didn't liko him ; any how; and so she
went home, and Bill he went with her,
and told her he wasn't sorry, as he
didn't want her and he guessed she
was hard on her clothes, any how, nnd
so they never got married, and the
whole thing turned out wrong ; but I
couldn't help it, for I ain't going to
put facts on record that ain't so. - But
it ain't a bit like any novel that I
ever read, so thero must have been
something strange about this fellow
and Mollie that I never could find out,
so I'll have to let slide as it is.
Professor Pratt's method of tam
ing horses is not so popular at Spring
Mill as it was. Mr. Fisher of that
place took lessons from the professor ;
and having perceived how, with a
piece of rope, lie subdued tho wildest
awnals, aud even opened umbrellas
sffddenly in their faces w ithout scaring
them, JUr. Isher felt certain that be
could tame the most fiery steed iu
Montgomery Co. There was a canal
boat man in Spring Mill who owned
an implacable mule, and Fisher felt
that it was his destiny to conquer that
mulo or perish. They" led the mule
out upon the towpnth one morning,
and Fisher followed with a bit of
clothesline and an Uiiibrella. He tied
the mule's lez with the ropo, as Pro
fessor Pratt had done, aud threw it
down three or four times until bo
thought it was lime. Then tying tho
rope around his own waist, while the
other cud of the cord held the leg of
tne mulo, he asked tho crowd to watch
how that submissive animal would not
flinch when the umbrella was opened
suddenly in its face. Fisher then flung
the umbrella open. Only a moment
or two later a certain subdued mule
might have been observed to plunge
wildly from the towpnth into the river
and to swim down stream at the rate
of nine knots an hour, while a misan
thropic and humilitatcd victim of
V rot. 1'ratt s method with animals
towed behind, and made a fresh dive
under the water every timo tho mule
jerked its hind leg forward. When
ho was rescued and resuscitated he
said it must have been the wrong kind
of an umbrella; but he has discoutiuu-eiWtnimal-taming
as a business now,
aiB whenever he hears of the approach
of anybody named Pratt he scowls,
and gloomily says he wishes ho had
brought his shot-gun with him.
During the New York draft riot of
1803, a howitzer, trebly shotted, was
planted on the Tribune stairway, and
men stationed beside it, ready to fire
it off upon the first attempt of the mob
to storm the building. What a for
tunate thing thut the attempt was not
made I It is fearful to contemplate
what a large number of Greeley votes
might have goue down before that
howiUer !
"How do you like the looks of the
varmint?" asked an Arkansas fellow
of a down-easter, who was gazing with
distended eyes at an alligator, which
was lying w ith open jaws on the banks
of the Mississippi. " Wa'al," respond
ed the Yankee, recovering his mental
equipoise, "he a'u't what we'd call a
httu'sonie critter, but he has a deal of
openness when lie Brailes."
An excellent old deacon, who' hav
ing won an old turkey at a charity
raffle, did not like to tell his severe
orthodox wife how he came by it,
quietly remarked as ho handed her
tho fowl, that the Shakers gave it to
him.
The difference in nature was well
illustrated at the depot this morning.
Two siaters met. "O, my dear sister,"
said one, exhausted, us they embraced.
'.'You've been eating onions," said tho
other, calmly aud fearlessly.
dare do our. duty as wo understand if--LINCOLN.
A Poor Boy's Victory.
An appointment to tho United
Slates Is aval Academy having lieen
f lace within the gift of Colonel Wm.
5. Roberts, member of Congress from
New York city, he determined to award
it to the applicant who should, in a
competitive examination, prove him
self 10 be best qualified therefor. This
examination recently took place in
tho hall of the Board of Education in
New York city. Twenty-six boys
wero present, thirteen from the public
and thirteen from the private schools
of the Fifth Congressional district.
Sixteen of the number were rejected
by Dr. Skiff, the medical examiner.
The examination was conducted by
.-superintendent Ividdio and his assis
taut, Mr. Harrison. Matter John
O'Keefe, aged fifteen years, of 107
Washington street, stood first in the
order of merit and is to be the nomi
nee. His parents are in very humble
circumstances, his father, Timothy
O'Keefe, being an ordinary dock la
borer. The announcement of tho de
cision of the co rum it too was received
with applause, as tho appearance of
the lad denoted his condition in life.
He was heartily congratulated by all
pre3eut, but by noue with so much
pride and emotion as his principal
teacher, Mr. Duffy. Master O'Keefe,
it was remarked by all present, bore a
striking resemblance to cx-Presitlent
Lincolu. A subscription is to be im
mediately started in the First Ward
for the purpose of securing his neces
sary outfit.
The following is said to be an au
thentic anecdote of a well-known ar
tist. This son of genius, ono of the
greatest portrait-painters of his day,
was at times such a votary ot the bot
tle that his friends begau to fear that
he would be utterly ruined iu body and
mind. After one of his periodical
"spreas," several of his friends deter
mined, if possible, to arrest him in his
downward course, and so went over to
his studio, carrying in a pocket a big
rat, lor purples which will be Been.
E. sat pointing lazily, returning to his
woik alter he had erected his visitors
They took him to task roundly for his
dissipation, declaring that Ins health
was urly ruined, and that very soon
he would be driven into "snakes," oth
erwise called delirium tremens. They
pressed the topic, when finally he rose
iu a passion, and as he did so tho rat
was slipped loose, and went flying
among the hall'-fiuiehed pictures, h.
gave chase with a cuue, calling loudly
for assistance, knowing that if the an
imal was not caught it would work
mischief with his canvass. NoUhear
ing the others move he looked round
with astonishment, and shuddered visi
bly as he saw them looking at hira
with faces full of sadness nnd pity.
They tried to get him to sit down, say
ing that he'd "get over it pretty soon;"
but he shook them of!', and went silent
ly back to his painting. After a few
touches he stopped and turned round,
wun an attempt to laugh that was in
expressibly painful, and broke out:
"That was a good joke I had on you
fellows. I did not see a rat."
The last remaining brilliancy of the
eninire has heen pclittaod hv tUa aa&
g J ...VI
of the Empress Eugenie's diamonds at
iwoiidon. mere were no less tliau one
hundred and fourteen lots of these
gems, iucluding almost every variety
of beautiful handiwork imaginable.
The jewels were, of course, of the most
elegaut and .expensive discription.
There were diamonds without end iu
the wonderful combination with other
precious stones. One group was made
to represent a rosebud and leaves, and
another a buuch of forget-me-nots",
formed of pearls encrusted minutely
with diamonds. Tho enraptured spec
tators found themselves dazzled suc
cessively by brooches in the foim of a
double piuk, sprays of flowers and
leues, pendants of brilliants, pearl
drops as lurge as n sparrow's egg, mag
nificent emerald, oval shaped gems,
formerly belonging to the Empress
Josephine.grotcsque oruameutss Imped
like a guitar or a tortoise, diamond
snuff boxes, nnd, above nil, tho ex
quisite ncckluce of forty-one choice
pearls, matched in sizo uud spleudor,
which has employed tho most hercu
lean endeavors of admiring scribes on
many a State occusiou under the old
regime. Lace parasols and funs of
miraculous beauty complete this glow
ing aud yet sad record of the glories
of departed power.
A novelty in the way of "hops" has
been inti-niliirerl in 7t,,l,,ii A hull ot
the South Eud is now open every Fri-
aay evening lor "shu t uud pants danc-
inir parties." and the Ht tfllllil ll.i. 1.1
confined to those of the middle cluss
who are disposed to behave themselves.
There is nothing allowed that would
bo considered improper in any hall in
the city, aud the nronrietor tukca .
sible ground that if ludic consider
themselves dresed in "shirt waists"
there is" 110 reason why "gents" should
not appear in tho sutue cool apparel.
A VOUUtr ludv 111 l'hltl J,nrr.,A,.,l Iw.r
mamma. "How liinn ilnn iim li. r 1 n 17
moon lust?" to which tho practical
mother replied, "Until you uK your
husband for money.
$2 PER ANNUM.
A Middle-Sized Boys Composition
on Girls.
Girls are the most unaccountable
things in the world except women.
Like the wricked flea, when you have
them they ain't there. ' I can cipher
clear over to improper fractions, and
the teacher says I do it first rate ; but
I can't cipher out a girl, proper or
improper, and you can't either. The
only rule iu arithmetic that hits their
case is the double rule of two. They
are as full of Old Nick as their skins
can hold, and they would die if they
couldn't torment somebody. When
they try to bo mean they are as mean
as piissley, though they ain't as mean
as they let on, except sometimes, and
thon they are a good loal meaner.
The 'uuly way to get along with a girl
when she comes at you with her non
sense is to give her tit for tat, and that
will tlummux her, nnd when you get
her llummuxed she is as nice as a pin,
A girl can sow more wild oats in a
day than a boy can in a vear. but girls
get their wild oats sowed afler a while,
which boys never do, and then they
settle down as calm and placid as a
mud puddle. But I like girls first
rate, and I guess the bovs all do. I
don't care how many tricks they play
on 1110 aud they don I care either.
The hoity-toities girls in the world
can't always boil over like a glass of
soda, liy and by they will get into
the traces with somebody they like.
and pull as steady as an old stage
horse, bo let them wave, 1 say ; they
will pay for it some day, sewinc on
buttons and trying to make a decent
man ol the fellow they have spliced on
to, and ten chances to one it they
don t get the worst of it.
1 p
One of the Candidates.
A gentleman traveling through In
diana in the early days of that' now
powerful and vigorously growing State,
stopped at a log cabin and asked and
obtained entertainment for a man and
horse. During tho conversation after
supper the stranger said :
"I am traveling through your coun
try to obtaiu information about its re
sources and products."
"Well, stranger," observed the host,
"you have stopped at the right place.
I am a candidate for the Legislature,
and I reckon I know as much as the
next man."
"Ah, indeed? Well, I am unfortu
nate. What is the. population of your
count v?"
' "Corn, iiheat, oat?, and such like
truck." f
lou misunderstand me. I want
to know the population of the county."
"Oh, to be sure, 1 did misunderstand.
Well, there's ouk, dogwood and some
elms mostly with vims running up,
hat spectacle more pleasing does
the earth aflord than a happy woman,
contented in her sphere, rcutly ut all
times to benefit her littlo world by her
exertions, and transforming the briar
and thorns ol life into rose of Para
dise by tho magic of her touch? There
aro thoso who are thus happy because
they cannot help it; no niisfortuues
dampen tluir sweet smiles, uiid they
diffuse a cheerful cknv around them.
as they pursue tho even teuor of their
way. J hey have the secret of content
ment, whose valua is ubovo the nhilo's-
opher's 6tune; for without seeking tho
baser exchange of gold which buys
some sore 01 pleasure, they convert
everything they touch into joy. What
their condition is makes uo difference.
'I-1 . 1 1 ...
ney may no ran or poor, high, or
low, admired or forsaken hv the fickle
world; but the spuikliiiir fountain
bubbles up in their hearts and makes
them radiantly beautiful. Though
they live iu a log cabin, they make it
suitio with a lustre that kings and
queens may covet, and they make
wealth a fountiiin of blessings to the
children of poverty.
A clergyman of Saratoga sprjtiL'S
has constructed a system of national
time, for tho convenience of railways,
us well as of the traveling public,
simple in its elementary principle, yet
evincive 01 mucn sttmy nnd research
in its details. Ho proposes to make
Washington time tho nationul time
standard, and then to divide the couu
try longitudinally into four scclious,
the extremes of which, being fifteen
flegrci's Hpiu t, difii r from each other
just one hour iu time. Those hour sec
tions of fif'tceu degrees uro subdivided
by the vurious ruil wuy stuliotis which
they contain ; and by a syteni of in
dexes ut each station, the traveler,
huvinlho local timo of each stutiou,
can reuilily diteriiiine its relation to
the nationul time standard at any
point between tho Atlantic and the
Pacific The New England Kail w ay
Association, having submitted the sys
tem to a conimitltO for .eoiistdi ration,
has unanimously adopted the report of
the committee upproving it uud rec
ommending it to ull the railroad turn
panics iu the United States.
A youthful lover who siinu and i!a v-
cd before his young lady's house for
two 11101 tal hours, i-riday night, wus
electrified after a short pause by a
cordial "thank you" gracefully pro
nounced by tho "other feller," who ap
peared ut the window.
Rates of Advertising.
One Suture (1 inch,) one Ineiilons - tl SO
in wpiare " 0110 month - : no
One Hanaro " three months - 1x1
One Sipinre " one year - - 10 ni
Two Squares, onn year - - ml
Quarter L'"l. ' - . :in If)
Half " ' - . - . no (Hi
One " - - - . 100 00
Business Cards, not exoeedinir ono Inch
in length, $10 ier year.
Leiral notices at established rater
Thosc rate are low. and no dnvlatlon
vill be ma le, or discrimination amonir
pntron. Tho rates ollered are such,
will make it to the ail vantsneof men rtol. g
bHxincusin the limita of tho circulation of
the imior to advertise lilx'rnllv.
A "feller end his cal" from tho
couutry, concluded to try a little soda
water, and accordingly ordered a
couple of glasses. "What syrup?"
asked the handsome clerk. "Syrup
syrup," repeated the bucolic fop, with
n stare ; and then leaning forward, lie
impressively added: "stranger, money
is no object to me to-day you can nut
sugar iu them."
A young man went into a florist's
store the other day to buy a rosebud
tor his alhanced. oeventy-five cents
was the price asked :
"Will it keep? Inquired the young
man.
"Oh, yes, a long while."
"Then you may kjeep it." Exit
young man.
A very close-fisted old feliow,Iri'
treating a friend to some liquor, pour
ed out a very email drink. The latter,
taking the glass and holding it abovn
his head, remarked very skeptically,
"You say this is forty years old ?"
"Yes", replied the host. "Then," re
plied our friend, "nil I have to say is,
it is very small Jbr its age 1"
A humming bird flew into a
court room iu Georgia, during the
session of the court one dov recently,
nt 10 a. m., and continued to fly with
in a few inches of the ceiling until 0
p. m., when it fell slowly and alighted
on a mentel-piece, where it was cap
tured. It was on tho wing seven and
a half hours without rest.
A prudent Kentucky father, with a
marriageable daughter, found it im
possible to keep the benus from the
house, so he furnished her with a mu
sic box which plays "Home, Sweet
Home," nt 10 o'clock p. m., precisely.
The beans are nil gone, and the house
closed up in five minutes nften
A Paris journalist recently encoun
tered a poor blind man playing a clari
onet in the street, whom he had f ir
raerly seen doing tho sams thing in
St. Cloud. He asked him how he had
happened to change places. "Ah sir,"
answered the blind man, "it made me
sad to look at the Tuins of the war."
A Chicago female graduate has
written and recited a long essay urging
the futiliy of using the pen or tongue,
and the infinito superiority of confin
ing oneself to thought and deed. Very
well, but if such be her conviction
why did. she indite aud speak her es
say? The rising feneration "ago" rapidly
in Detroit. A mature specimen, eight
years old, was huutiug about the po
nce station tho other uight for a stray
father. "You see," he remarked, witL
filial exultation, "the guv'ner's a little
wild yet, but he'll grow out of it."
An old writer has quaintly said:
"God looks not at the oratory of our
prayers, how eloquent they are; nor
at their arithmetic, how many they
are ; nor at their logic, how methodical
they nre ; but He looks nt tf.eir sin
cerity, how spiritual they nre."
"We have a span of horses," said an
economist the other day, "on our farm
that support themselves without any
cost." "Why, how is that ?" exclaim
ed a listener. "Why, you see," re
marked the questioned, "one is a saw
horse, and the oilier a clothes .horse."
"I hope you hnve no objection to
my getting weighed?" snid a husband
to his wife. "Certainly not, my dear ;
but why do you ask tho question?"
"Only to see, my love, if you would
allow mo to havo my weigh for once."
A Detroit man, who bad no ear for
music, confessed as much when he
frankly owned thut "If I wero the pro
prietor of a hand-organ, set expressly
to play 'Old Hundred," I couldn't get
over seventy-five out of it,"'
Two Irishmen once saw a red-headed
woodpecker pecking away at an
old stump. "Murther, Jemmy I" ex
claimed one of them to his compatriot,
"just look at you bur-red ; he's hnm
mered his head till it's all a blaydiu!"
John Pandolnh met an encmv in
the street, ono day, who refused to give
him half the sidewalk, saying that lie-
never turned out tor a rascal. "I do,"
said llandolph, stepping aside aud
politely lifting his hut, "Puss on, sir."
They havo a flower in Alameda,
Cal., called "Aaron's cup," which
measures two feet eight inches from
the base of the flower to the tip of the
cup.
Tho Yo-Semite Valley is said to be
full of rattlesnakes, and the little
Snake Indians nro said to use them
for rattles to cut their teeth on them.
Tho Colorado desert, by a lute rail
road survey has been found to be iu
places 200 feet below the level of the
seu. hcieutists uro iu a ouuudarv.
j .
An Irish lecturer of note snlemmv
said one eveiiinir. "Purenls. vou mnv
have children ; or if vou have not.
your daughters may huve."
Col. Tom Scott, the Boston lwt
thinks, has become greater than a rail
road kitiL', nnd it therefore describe
him as a railroad elephant.
A California jury, in a suicide case
lately, returned the following verdict:
"We, the jury, fuul ;hut (ho deceased
was a foul."
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