19 rUni.IfllIKU EVEUY WUDSIOSDAY, UY
vr, 11. DUNN.
DfTTco In Knox's Dulldlryg, EIn Street.
TEItMS, J2.00 A YKAU.
No HulscrtptioiiH,rivnlvod for a shorter
period than three months.
Correspondent solicited from nil parts
of thn country,1:' No notico will 1)0 taken of
annoityinou communications.
Jtarrlagos and Dentil notice inserted
gratis.
BUSINESS DIRECTORY.
KKWTON PKTTIS. MILES W. TATB.
PETTIS & TATE,
ATTORNEYS AT LAV,
.A tin Sired, TIOXICSTA , PA .
Isaac Ash,
'A TTOKNEY AT T,AW, Oil City, Pa.
xV Will practice in the various Courts of
Korest County. All business entrusted to
Bis earn will reeoivo prompt attention.
10 ly
' W. W. Mamn, Georgo A. Jenka,
Tloaeilft, P. , llrwkville, P,.
MaSon, & Jcn.H.3,
ATTOTtNKYS AT T,AV. Ollleo on Kim
Street, above. Wnlnut, Tioucsta, I'a.
C. W. Giinilan,
ATTOKNKY AT LAW, Franklin, Vo
nanKO Co., I'a. tf.
t. II. HARMS, D. P. FASSKTT,
It A KRIS C FASSETT,
Attorneys at Law, Tituoville Penn'a.
-" I ACTICK In all the Courts of Warren,
, ,'rawford, Forost and Vonanjio Coun
ties.' 4!l-tf
W. P. Morcllliott,
ATTORNEY A COUNSELOR AT LAW
Tionosta, Pa. Ollleo on Klin Street.
The professional services of tlio Hon. H.
P. Johnson can be secured through mo if
desirod in any business entrusted to mo in
Forest Co. Collections promptly attended
to. AIho Keal Estate Agent.
Tlonesta House.
MITTKL. Proprietor, Klin St., Tlo-
nestii. I'a.. at the inoutliof therrcpk.
Mr. Illlo lias thoroughly renovated tho
1 ionestn 1 loiio, and re-furnished it eoin
plclcly. All who patroni.o him will lie
well entertained at reasonable rates, ill) ly
FOREST HOUSE,
T PLACK PltOPHIKTOU. Opposite
court: House, tioneslsi, 1M. Just
npcuid. Kvcrvlhlntr new and clean and
fresh. Tho best of liipiors kept constantly
on hand. A portion of the public patroii
no Is rospeetfully solicited. 4-17-1 v
Holme3 House,
JL V. 1). Manic, Proprietor. (Jood Nta-
bllng connected with the house. tf.
Syracuso House,
HPIDIOUTK. Pa.. J. A. 1) Maokk. Proi.io
J. tors. Tho house has been thoroughly
rpl'ittcd and is now In tho lirst-cliiss order,
with tho host of accommodations. Anv
nformation concern imx Oil Territory lit
tuts I'uiiii. niu uu cueunuiiv iiiruisncti.
-ly J. ill. MAllEE,
. ' ' Exchange Hotel,
T OWER TIWOUTE, Ta., P. 8. IUms-J-i
bkki. A Son Prop's. This house having
been rclitod is now the most desirable stop-
iinjr placo in Tidioute. A good llillinrd
loom attuclied. 4-ly
National Hotel,
TRVINETON. PA. W. A. Ilallenlmelc.
Proprietor. This hotel is Nkw. and is
iw open as a first "class house, situiito at
HO junctioii-of theOil Creek A Allegheny
tivcrani i-iiiactelpliiu ,fc l-rio Kailroads,
iposito tho Depot. Parties having to lay
ver trains will tind this tho most ennven-
ent hotel in town, with first-class accoin-
sxmHWUons and reasonable charges, tr.
Dr. J. L. Acomb.
PHYSICIAN AND 8UKOEON, who has
. ' I had fifteen years' experience in a hirj.-o
and aueeossl'uf practice, will attend all
VtTtf.Mtuljltinl I'llllu Olll,.ati. 1 k-.... .....1
tlroeery Store, loeatcd in Tidioute, near
Tidioute llouso.
IN HIS STOKE WILL BE FOUND
A hill assortineut of Medicines, Liquors
Tobacco, Cigars, Stationery, lilass, Paints,
Oils, Cutlery, and lino Groceries, all of tho
lest quality, and will bo Hold at reasonable
Voltes.
II. H. BTJROESS, an experienced Drus
p 1st from New York, has chargo of tlo
Store. All pi-ocriitious put up accurately.
JNO. A. Dil.K Prait.
1. T. DALK, Cuhlur.
TIOITESTA
SAVINGS BANK,
Tionpstu, Forest Co., Pa.
Thin Bank traus,v:0i a Goneral Banking,
t-'ollocting and Kxchauo Business.
.Drafts on tho Principal Cities of the
United States and Europe bouhtand sold.
Hold and Silver Coin and Government
Securities bought and sold. 7-!i0 Bonds
converted on tho most favorable terms.
I nterest allowed on time deposits.
Mar. 4, tf.
Lloyd & Son,
WATER STREET, TIONLSTA, I'A.
' IT AVE JUST OPENED an oxtanslvo
XX Ktocl
Stock of
KiOUR AND FEED,
GROCERIES AND PHOVISIONS,
Which they offer to tho public at rates as
low as can be offered by any other estab
lishment in town. Uivo u a call before
purchasing elsewhere,
sU-3. LLOYD A SON.
SLOAN & VAN GIESEN.
fc AND
WAGON-MAKERS.
. w Corner of Church and Elm Streets,
TIONESTA lV.
This firm is prepared to do all work in
1U lino, and will warrant everything done
at their shops to j;ive sulislactiiui. Par
ticular uttoulion given to
iioitsi:.snoi:ix(;,
Give them atrial, and you will not re
gret it. lit-ly.
SUBSCRIBE fur the Forest Republican
ll will pay.
1
JL
J. UlD
" Lot us havo Faith
VOL. V. NO. 18.
D. W. CLARK,
(commissioner's CI.KIIK, KonUST CO., PA.)
It EA L EST A TE A G EXT.
HOUSES mid lints for Sale and PENp
Wild Ijmds for Sale. 1 .
I have superior facilities for Rscertnlnlnor
tho condition of tuxosand tax deeds, Ac,
and am therefore qualified to act intelli
gently awairent of those living at a dis-
tniK'e. ownlntr laruls In the C ninty.
Olllco in (Joiumissionars Booin, Court
Honso, Tionosta, Pa.
4-41-ly. D. W. CLARK.
THE SUPERIOR LUMBER CO.,
MANUFACTURERS OF
Pine Lumber, Lath, Shingles &c.
Mills on Tioncstn Creek, Fortst Co., Pn.
Ynrtls k Office eor. 22d k Rnil Road Ms.,
riTTSnUUGII, PA.
Jos. Y. Saul,
PRACTICAL Harness Malter and Sad
i (Her. Tlirco doors north of Holmes
House, Tionosta, Pa. All work is war
ranted, tf.
KDWAHU DITIIRinilK.
t. D. DITIIIIIDUX
FORT PITT GLASS WORKS.
Established A. D. 1SL7.
MASUFAOTt'llKltS OF
Dithridgo's xx Flint Glass
PATENT OVAL
LAMP CHIMNEYS.
AND
Silvered Glass Reflectors.
Thoso chimneys do not break by heat.
Ask for PiTirmnons. Tako no other.
DIT1IRIDGE it SON,
Pittsburgh, Pa.
25-ly.
'Hvw ISoardlii"; House.
MRS. S. S. HUI.INtiS has built a larco
addition to her house, and is now pre
pared to accommodate a number of perma
nent lsiBrders, ami all transient ones who
inay favor her witii their patronage. A
Kood slalilo has rocently Ikm'H built to ac
commodato tho horses of quests. Charges
reasonable. Residence on Elm St., oppo
site S. Haslet's store. 23-ly
JOP1ES HOUSE,
CLARION, rEXN'A.'
S. S. JONES
Proprietor.
GROCERY AKO PROVISION STORE
IN TION ES T A .
GEO. W.B0VARD&G0.
II
AVEust brought on a completo and
caroiuuy sciecteu stocK 01
FLOUR,
GROCERIES.
PROVISIONS,
and everything necessary to tho completo
stock ofa tlrst-classi.rocerv House, which
they have opened out at their establish
ment 011 Elm St., Hrst door north of M. E.
Church,
TE S
COFFEES, " ' SUGARS,
BVRUPS, FRUITS,
SPICES,
HAMS, LARD,
A KD PltO IV.SOA'.S OF A LL KIXD.
at the lowest cash prices. Goods warrant
ed to bo of tiio best quality. Call anil ex
amine, and we believe we can suit you.
GEO. W. 1IO YARD A CO.
Jan. , '7i
A M I It A I. 13 I
Mr. Samuel Hell, of W. E. Schmertz &
Co., Wholosalo Hoot and Shoo Manufactur
ers, 31 Fifth avenuo, Pittsburgh, I'a., has
been altlictcd with chronic rheumatish for
tlii.ty years, from his right hip to his fisit,
having to use a crutch and a cujie, at times
so painful as to utterly incapacitate him
from attending to his "business. Having
tried every remedy known, without effect,
except Gilliland s Pain Killer, ho was
finally induced to try it. A second applica
tion enabled him to' lay aside his crutch,
and a third eltcctod a permanent euro. Mr.
Hell Is a popular and well-known citizen,
is a living monument of tho efl'acacy of
that great medical discovery, Gillihuid's
Pain Killer. The atllii tod shc'uild ask their
gris'or or druggist lor it, and trv its won
derful power. Mr. (iilliland, 'we under
Htand, v ants a respectable agent in every
town and eduut.v for it. The principal oi
llco is at 7 Third Avenue, Pittsburgh Pa.
31-4t
AGENTS WANTED Bound canvass
ing book
SENT FREE!
of postage on receipt of 75 cents, and ex
eulsive territory granted on tho
PICTORIL HOME BIBLE.
Contains ovor:(oo illustrations. Isa com
plete Library of liihlu-al K nowled-re. Ex
cellsall others. In English and German.
Win. Flint &. Co., Phila., I'a. ii7-4t
THE
BOOT AND SHOE
STOKE.
IK YOU WANT a perfect lit and a good
articlo of Hoots and Shoes, of tho Lnest
workmanship, go to
II. I.. Mt'CASCK'N,
S'J CENTRE STREET, OIL CITY, PA.
J'tr Satiif.c tinn sjuaiantcrd. 'J-Zi u'.
Or
that Right makoa Might ; and
TIONESTA, PA., WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 7, 1872.
THE HIGH PRESSURE NOVEL A
TAKE OFF.
Once upon a time there was a fair
young mnidcn, whose name wnHMary,
although they called her Moll, for
short. She wasn't a tall, dark-eyed
maiden, with clear, transparent skin,
and lipg like cherries, and cheeks
suffused with blushes. She didn't have
glossy black hair, sweeping back in
wavy tresses from her queenly brow,
and her form wasu't a bit like Hebe's.
No, there was none of thoso things on
the contrary, she was short and thin,
and had red hair and freckles, and she
also sported snuggle teeth and wore
pads, but still she was a right nice
girl, and there was a young mail who
fell in love with her, and his name was
Bill, although his friends called him
William wheu they wanted to hurt
his feelings, lor he dtdu t like it much.
He wasn't fine looking, and had neith
er curly brown hair nor a moustache.
Not much Bill laid himself out on
soap locks, and wore a goatee that he
had dyed twice a week.
Now this Bill was in love with Mary,
but did he go and make a deliberate
ass of himself? Did he, I say, go into
a grove with her, and in the soft moon
light, by tho streamlet that murmured
sweetly by, and with the tender ze
phyr sighing through tho foliuge fall
down ou his knees, seizo her jeweled
hand and breathe his deep affection in
the tender accents of fund attachment,
and swear "by yon bright orb above
us, always to be tin tie r Did he, I
say ? You can just bet ho didu't. You
can lay out your whole revenge safely
on that. William knew too much
about tho price of pants to go flopping
around on the wet grass with his good
clothes on : besides he never cared any
thing about streamlets or any kind of
cold water, except to mix with his gin.
No, sir, but this William met. her at
tho alley gate, and says; "Say, Moll,
old ual, b posen we net latched
But how did Mary behave? Did she
go dropping to sleep over ou the bricks
in a dead faint, or did she hide her
gentle head on his shirt bosom to con
ceul her blushes? No, she didu't and
bho didn't say, "I'm ever thine, tny
swn love, dear William 1" Oh, my, no.
She looked right in his yellow eyes,
and says : "1 in in, Billy ; 1 m the gal
lor these sort ot things. Go in 1
Now, tho old man wasu't wealthy,
lor lie sold soap-iat lor a living, and
so ho didn't think Bill was nosing
around fitter his stamps , so when Bill
asked him, he neither ordcreJ him
fiercely away uor did the dewev mois
turo gather in his eagle eye as he
passed his hemslitchcJ hankerchicf up
theie and said: "liless von, my chil
dien, bles3 you !" Oh no nothing of
the sort. He just blew his old red
nose in his baudauna and told Bill to
tako her, along, for he was glad to get
rid ot her, he was, and William would
be tho sauie mighty soon, tor' she was
awful rough on victuals, and always
broke plates when she got mad.
So, you see, th;re really was none
cessity for William to coiuo at mid
night's solemn hour, iu a cab, and
throw a rope-ladder up to her window,
and whistle three tunes on his lingers,
and then go up, hand over huifd, aud
bring her down iu one hand and her
trunk in tho other, and a band-box
aud an umbrella under each arm, and
a whole lot of bundles ; and then get
into the cab and fly to some distant
shoro. That's the way it would have
been in a novel ; but Bill said he wasu't
on that lay, and so he just went out
iu the yard, aud out of pure joy he
skinned the cat three or four times on
the grapo-vine arbor, and then went
and got in his butcher curt aud drove
Mary right down to the magistrate to
get the job done for a quarter for he
said he was some on low prices, ho
was.
But the very queerest thing of all
was, that Bill had no tall, dark, ruffian
ly rival, with a scrowliug visttge and
black whiskers, who flew at him with
a drawn dagger and a horse-pistol in
each hand, aud a muttered curse upon
his lips, and cried wildly for 'Revenue.'
Ha 1 ha ! and said "Death !" aud "Vil
lain, thou ditst!" Not any. There
was another fellow in love with Mollie,
to be sure, but ho was a weak-eyed
young man, who had sandy hair and
wore spectacles aud u choker collur,
and always looked scared wheu you
hollared at him. So, when ho saw
that Bill had the best of the girl's
affections, he looked all serene and
said : "Go in, Billy, if you hanker for
her ;" and as Bill was a trillo on the
hanker, he sailed in.
So William, you see had no trouble
at all and you couldn't get up an
agouiziug novel about him if you tried.
Ho didn't have any urgent business
that called him to a foreign land, and
so had to bid hera fond good-bye, and
swear always to bo true, aud then go
away and forget her, and full in love
with a dark eyed Italian girl, picking
grapes in a vineyard, with a square
towel folded ou her head, while his
forgotten and forsaken Maiy gradual
ly tinied aud pined away, aud buflled
the physiciuu s skill, aud grew paler,
and at lu.st, when the June roses were
in bloom, lying gently down to die,
while through the open w indow float
ed iu the balmy odor of jessamine and
houcy suckle. An J William didn't-
Republican
in that Faith let us to the end,
come homo at last, and filled with
deathless remorse, go daily to the
sweet cemetery and strew flowers on
her grave, and teach his children to
lisp her name. Not at all. That is
the way Mrs. E. D. E. N. Southworth
would have dono it, but she wasn't
round. Bill was a butcher who wore
a white shirt aud a shiny hat, aud he
stayed at home and killed beef and
sold it at ft big price, and stuck to
Mary, and she kept healthy and wosn't
much on tho pine, or the fade, while
if any fellows got to lurking around,
William went right out and batted
them in the eyo, he did.
And then, at last, when all was over,
Mary didn't sit iu the room while they
dressed her in white, and mixed
orange blossoms in her watcrfull, and
then go gently down glairs with six
bridesmaids at her heels, and stand
up with her William, and weep gently
while she was being married by tho
minister, and then get lost of presents,
r.nd then go to her new house and live
through all the happy years with Billy
and never know sorrow or trouble any
more. Why of course, she didu't for
it wasn't her Btyle, you see.
She just rushed up stairs and put on
her pink muslin and her bud bonnet,
and had nary bridesmaid, and weut to
the magistrate's and never wept a
particle, and got no presents but fif
teen cents from the old man to pay her
car fare home, and wheu she got to
the magistrate's she just rose off the
bench and told Bill she didn't see
much use in splicing, and that sho
didn't liko him ; any how ; and so she
went home, and Bill he weut with her,
and told her he wasn't sorry, as he
didu't want her and he guessed she
was hard on her clothes, any how, and
so they never got married, and the
whole thing turned out wrong ; but I
couldn't help it, for I ain't going to
put facts on record that ain't so. But
it ain't a bit like any novel that I
ever read, bo thero must have been
something strange about this fellow
and Mollie that I never could Cud out,
so I'll have to let slide ns it is.
IY.ofessou Tuatt's method of tam
ing horses is not so popular at Spring
Mill as it was. Mr. Fisher of that
place took lessons from the professor ;
and having perceived how, with a
piece of rope, he subdued tho wildest
animals, and even opened umbrellas
suddenly in their faces without scaring
them, Mr. Fisher felt certain that he
could tame the most fiery fstccd in
Montgomery Co. There was a caual
boat man i Spring Mill who owned
an implacable mule, and Fisher felt
that it was his destiny to conquer that
mulo or perish. They led the mule
out upon the towpatn one morning,
and Fisher followed with a bit of
clothesline and an umbrella. He tied
the mule's leg with the rope, as Pro
fessor Pratt had done, aud threw it
down three or four times until ho
thought it was lime. Then tying tho
rope urouud his own waist, while the
other cud of the cord held tho leg of
the mule, lie asked the crowd to watch
how that Bubmissivo animal would not
flinch when the umbrella was opened
suddenly in its face. Fisher then flung
the umbrella open. Only a moment
or two later a certain subdued mule
might have been observed to plunge
wildly from tho towpath into the river
and to swim down stream at tho rato
of nino knots ar. hour, while a misau-
thropic and liumilitated victim of
rrof. Pratt s method with animals
towed behind, and made a fresh dive
under the water every timo tho mule
jerked its hind leg forward. When
ho was rescued and resuscitated he
said it must have been the wroug kind
of an umbrella; but he has discontinu
ed animal-taming ns a business now,
and whenever he hears of the approach
of anybody named Pratt he scowls,
and gloomily says he wishes ho had
brought his shot-gun with him.
During the New York draft riot of
180.5, a howitzer, trebly shotted, was
planted on the Tribune stairway, and
men stationed beside it, ready to fire
it off upon the first attempt of tho mob
to storm the building. What a for
tunate thing that the attempt was not
made I It is fearful to contemplate
what a large number of Greeley votes
might havo gone down before that
howilier !
"How do you like the looks of the
varmint?" asked an Arkansas fellow
ofa down-easter, who was gazing with
distended eyes at an alligator, which
was lying with open jaws on the banks
of the Mississippi. "Wa'al," respond
ed the Yankee, recovering his mental
equipoise, "he a'u't what we'd call a
hau'somo critter, but he has a deul of
opeuncsss when he smiles."
An excellent old deacon, who' hav
ing won an old turkey at a charity
raillo, did not like to tell his severe
orthodox wile how he came by it,
quietly remarked as he hauded her
I ho fowl, that the Shakers gave it to
him.
Tho difference in nature ivnu u-..11
illustrated at the depot this inoi'iing.
Two sisters met. "(), my dear sister,"
said one, exhaueted, us they embraced.
ii V I . .. ...
. iou ve ueeu eating onions," said the
other, calmly and f..:nlc.-lj,
daro do our duty as wo understand ifLINCOLN
A Poor Boy's Victory.
An appointment to tho United
States Naval Academy having been
flace within the gift of Colonel Wm.
5. Roberts, member of Congress from
New York city, he determined to award
it to the applicant who should, in a
competitive examination, prove him
self to be best qualified therefor. This
examination recently took place in
the hall of the Board of Education in
New York city. Twenty -six boys
wero present, thirteen from the public
and thirteen from the private schools
of the Fifth Congressional district.
Sixteen of tho uumber wero rejected
by Dr. Skiff, tho medical examiner.
Tho examination was conducted by
.-superintendent Kiddio and Ids assis
tant, Mr. Harrison. Matter John
O'Keefe, aged fifteen years, of 107
Washington street, stood first in the
order of merit and is to be the nomi
nee. His parents are in very bumble
cireumstauces, his father, Timothy
O'Keefe, being an ordinary dock la
borer. The announcement of the de
cision of the committeo was received
with applause, as tho appearance of
the lad denoted his condition iu Die.
He was heartily cougratulated by all
pre3eut, but by noue with so much
pride and emotion as his principal
teacher, Mr. Duffy. Master O'Keefe,
it was remarked by all present, bore a
striking resemblance to cx-President
Lincoln. A subscription is to be im
mediately started in the First Ward
for the purpose of securing his neces
sary outfit.
o
The following is said to be an au
thentic anecdote of a well-known ar
tist. This son of genius, one of the
greatest portrait-painters of his day,
was at times such a votary of the bot
tle that his friends begau to fear that
he would be utterly ruined iu body aud
mind. After one of his periodical
"sprcas," several of his friends deter
mined, if possible, to arrest him in his
downward course, aud so went over to
his studio, carrying in a pocket a big
rat, lor purposes which will bo seen
E. sat painting lazily, returning to his
woik alter he had greeted his v.sitors,
They took him to task roundly for his
dissipation, declaring that Ins health
was utterlv ruined, and that vervunnn
he would be driven into "snakes," oth
erwise called delirium tremens. They
pressed the topic, when finally he rose
in a passion, and as he did so tho rat
was slipped loose, and went flying
among the halt-fiuished
gave chase with a cuue, calling loudly
for assistance, knowing that if the an
imal was not caught it would work
mischief with his canvass. NoUhcar
ing the others move he looked round
with astonishment, and shuddered visi
bly as he saw them looking at him
with faces full of saduess and pity.
They tried to get him to sit down, say
ing that he'd "get over it pretty soon;"
but he shook them off, and weutsilent
ly back to his painting. After a few
touches he stopped aud turned rouud,
with an attempt to laugh that was in
expressibly painful, aud broke out:
"That was a good joke I had on you
fellows. did not see a rat."
The last remaining hrilliancvnf the
empire has been eclipsed by the sale
of the Emnress Eugenie's iliHinniulu nt
London. There Were no less than one
hundred aud lourteeu lots of these
geiua, including almost every variety
of beautiful handiwork imaginable.
The jewels were, of course, of the most
eiegaut ana expensive inscription.
There wero diamonds without end in
the wonderful combination with other
precious stones. One group was made
to represent a roscbutl and leaves mid
another a bunch of forget-me-tiots',
iormeii or pearls encrusted minutely
with diamouds. Tho enraptured spec
tators found themselves dazzled suc
cessively by brooches in the foim of a
double piuk, sprays of flowers and
leuves, peudanu of brilliants, pearl
drops as lurgo as a sparrow's egg, mag
nificeut emerald, oval shaped gems,
formerly belonging to the Empress
Josephine.groU'sqiio oiuauieutss haped
like a guitar or a tortoise, diamond
snuff boxes, and, above all, the ex
quisite neckluce of forty-one choice
pearls, matched in sizo aud splendor,
which has employed tho most hercu
lean endeavors of admiring scribes ou
many a Statu occasion under il... .I, l
regime. Lace parusols and fans of
miraculous oeauiy complete this glow
ing aud yet sad record of the glories
of departed power.
A novelty iu the way of "hops" has
been introduced in Boston. A hall at
tho South Eud is now open every Fri
day evening for"bh'u t aud pants'danc
ing parties," and the attendance is
confined to those of the middle class
who uro disposed to behuve themselves.
There is nothiug allowed that would
be considered improper in any hall in
the city, and the proprietor takes sen
sible ground that if ludic consider
themselves dressed iu "shirt waists"
there is'no reason why "gents" should
not appear in tho samo cool apparel.
A young lady in Platlsburgaskcd her
mamma, "How long does tho honey
moon last?" to which tho practical
mother replied, "Until you ask your
husband for money.
$2 PER ANNUM.
A rVliddle-Sized Boys Composition
on Girls.
Girls are the most unaccountable
things in tho world except women.
Like the wicked flea, when you have
them they aiu't thero. I can cipher
clear over to improper fractions, and
the teacher says I do it firstrate ; but
I can't cipher out a girl, proper or
improper, and you can't either. The
only rule iu arithmetic that hits their
caso is the double rule of two. They
are as full of Old Nick as their skins
can hold, and they would die if they
couldn't torment somebody. When
they try to bo mean they are as mean
as pusslcy, though they ain't as mean
as they let on, except sometimes, and
then they aro & good deal meaner.
The uuly way to get along with a girl
when she comes at you with her non
sense is to give her tit for tat, and that
will flu in mux her, and when you get
her flummoxed she is as nice as a pin.
A girl can bow more wild oats in a
day than a boy can in a vear. but cirls
get their wild oats sowed after a while,
which boys never do, and then they
settle down as calm nnd placid as a
mud puddle. But I like cirls first
rate, and I guess the bovs all do. I
don't care how many tricks they play
on mo and they don't care either.
The hoity-toities girls in the world
can't always boil over like a glass of
soda, liy and by they will get into
the traces with somebody they like,
aud pull as steady as an old stage
horse. So let them wave, I say ; they
will pay for it some day, sewing on
buttons and trying to make a decent
man of the fellow they have spliced on
to, and leu chances to one it they
don t get the worst'of it.
One cf tho Candidates.
A gentlcmau traveling through In
diana in the early days of that 'cow
powerful and vigorously growing State,
stopped at a log cabin and asked and
obtained entertainment for a man aud
horse. During the conversation after
supper tho stranger said :
"I am traveling through your coun
try to obtain information about its re
sources and products."
"Well, stranger," observed the host,
"you have stopped at the right pluce.
I am a candidate for the Legislature,
and I reckon I know as much as the
next man."
"Ah, indeed? Well, I am unfortu
nate. What is tlio population of your
county?"
' "Corn, elicat, outs, raid such like
truck." ,
"iou ini.sunuerslund m. I want
to know the population of the county."
"Oh, to be sure, I did niis.iuderst.iiid.
Well, there's oak, dogwood and some
elms mostly with villi's running nji
hat spectacle more pleasing does
the earth ali'ord than a happy woman
contented in her sphere, n utly at all
times to benefit her little world by her
exertions, and transforming the briars
and thorns of life into loses of Para
dise by tho magic of her touch? There
arc those who are thus happy because
they cannot help il; no misfortunes
dampen tin ir sweet smiles, uiid thev
diffuse u cheerful ghnv urouud them,
as they pursue tho even tenor of their
way. J hey have the secret of content
ment, whose valua is ubovo tho philos
opher' sbine; for without seeking tho
baser exihaiigo of gold which buys
Koine sort, oi pleasure, nicy convert
everything they touch into joy. What
their condition is makes no difference.
'I hey may bo rich or poor, high, or
low, admired or forsaken by the fioklo
world ; but the spiuklini; fountain
bubbles up in their hearts aud makes
them radiantly beautiful. Thouirh
they live iu a log cabin, they make it
siiino Mini a nistro that kings and
queens may covet, and they make
wealth a fountain of blessings to the
children of poverty.
A clergyman of Saratoga sprjngs
has constructed u system of national
time, for the convenience of railways,
as wen as ot the traveling public,
simple in its elementary principle, yet
evincive of much sludy and research
in its details. He proposes to make
Washington time the national time
standard, and then to divide the coun
try longitudinally into four sections,
the extremes of which, being fifteen
degrc-is apart, tii'i'cr iVnm each other
jul one lioiiriu time. Those hour sec
tions of liftccu degrees aro subdivided
by the various railway btulions which
they contain j uml by" u sytem of in
dexes at each station, the traveler,
having the local timo of each station,
can readily dttermiiie its relation to
the national time standard at any
point between the Atlantic ami tho
Pacific. The New England Railway
Association, having submitted the sys
tem to a cummitlto for .eoiisidi ration,
has uuiiiiiiuoii.- y adopted the report of
tho committee approving it and rec
ommending it to ull the railroad com
panies in the Uuitcd Slates.
A youthful lover who siiiil' and play
ed before his young lady's house fur j
two mortal hours, Friday night, was
electrified after a short pause bv a
coidiul "thank you" gracefully mo-
nouueed by the "other fuller," whoup-
p' nrcd at the w indow.
r.atca of Advertising.
OneSpmiorl inch,) otio Inertlons - tl M
(neS-pnirn ' one month - - .1 no
OneS pmro " tlireo months . n in)
One Sipiarn " ruin year - - In i"
Two Squares, orm year f, M
ifiinrnTi o. :. K)
Half " " .v, ,Mi
Ono " . . . . iix) no
Iliisiiip-M I'snl i, not ex coed ins one Inch
In length, fit) cr j ear.
Irf-al notices at cMshllshod rates.
Thon riles are low. and no deviation
A-ill i.o hi:, I,-, (r diserini'iiation amonir
i-mrniis. 't in, rates ntlcr, d are unci,.
will make It to the ml van: sueof itiimi dot. g
Imsini-ss in the limit ni l.lm circulation of
tlio jn;.cr to advertise lils-rall v.
A "feller onJ his gal" from tho
country, concluded to try n little sod:i
water, and accordingly ordered a
couple of glasses. "What syrup?"
linked the handsotnn clerk. "Syrup
syrup," repeated the bucolic fop, with
a stare ; and then leaning forward, lie
impressively aided: "stranger, money
is uo object to me to-day you can put
sugar iu them."
A young man went into florist's
store the other day to buy a rosebud
lor his athanced. ftovcnty-Gvo cents
was the price asked :
" ill it keep? Inquired the young
man.
"Oh, ye, a Ion;' while."
"Then you may kieep it." Exit
young man.
A very close-fisted old fellow, In
treating a friend to somo liquor, pour
ed out a verv mall drink. I'ho latter,
taking the glus and holding it abov
his head, remarked very skeptically,
"You say this is forty years old?"
"Yes", replied iho host. "Then," re
plied our friend, "all I have to say is,
it is very small jbr its age !"
A humming bird flew into a
court room in Georgia, during tho
session of the court one day recently,
at 10 a. m., ami continued to fly with
in a few inches of the ceiling until 0
p. m., when it fell slowly and alighted
ou a mentel-piece, where it was cap
tured. It was on tho wing seven and
a half hours without rest.
A prudent Kentucky father, with a
marriageable daughter, found it im
possible to keen the bcaus from tho
house, so he furnished her with a mu
sic box which plays "Home, Sweet
Home," at 10 o'clock p. in., precisely.
The beiiis are all gone, and the hoiiia
closed up in five iuituitcs after.
A Paris journalist recently encoun
tered a poor blinl man playing a clari
onet in the street, whom ho had f r
merly seen doing tho earns thing in
St. Cloud. He asked him how he had
happened to change places. "Ah sir."
answered tho blind man, "it mado mo
sad to look at tho ruins of the war."
A Chicago female graduato has
written and recited a long essay urging
the futiliy of using the pen or tongue,
and the infinito superiorly of confin
ing oneself to thought and deed. Very
well, but if such be her conviction
why did she indite aud speak her es
say? The rising generation "ago" rapidly
in Detroit. A mature specimen, eight
years old, was hunting ubout the po
nce station tho other night for a stray
father. "You Bee," he remarked, wild
filial exultation, "the guv'ner's a littlo
wild yet, but he'll grow out of it."
An old writer has quaintly said:
"God looks not ut tho oratory of our
prayers, how eloquent they are; nor
at their arithmetic, how many Ihcy
ore ; nor at their logic, how methodical
they arc ; but He looks at their sin
cerity, how spiritual they are."
"We have a pan of horses," said an
economist the other day, "on our farm
that support themselves without any
cost." "Why, how is that?" exclaim
ed a listener. "Why, you see," re
marked the questioned, "one is a saw
horse, aud the oilier a clothes Jiorso."
"I hope you havo no objection to
my getting weighed?" said a husband
to his wife. "Certainly not, my dear;
but why do you ask tho question?"
"Only to sec, my leve, if you would
allow mo to havo my weigh for once."
A Detroit man, who bad no ear for
music, confessed as much when ho
frankly owned that "If I were the pro
prietor ofa hand-organ, set expressly
to play 'Old Hundred," I couldn't get
over seventy-fivo out of it."
Two Irishmen once saw a red-hcad-ed
woodpecker pecking awuy at an
old stump. "Murthrr, Jemmy 1" ex
claimed one of them to his compatriot,
"just look at you bur-red; he's ham
mered his head till it's all a blaydiii!"
John Randolph met an cuemy in
tho street, one day, who refused to eivo
mm nan me sioewniH, saying mat no
never turned out for a rascal. "I do,"
said Randolph, stepping aside ami
politely lifting his hat, "Pass ou, sir."
They havo a flower in Alameda,
Cal., called "Aaron's cup," which
ineusures two feet eight inches from
the buse of the flower to the tip of the
cup.
Tho Yo-Semite Valley is said to bo
full of rattlesnakes, and the little
Snake Indians aro said to use them
for rattles to cut their teeth on them.
The Colorado desert, by a late rail
road survey has been found to be in
places 200 feet below the level of tho
1.:.., I...U- .i. ..: i il. .i . i
sea. Scientists aro iu a quandary.
An Irieh lecturer of note solemmv
said one evening. "Parents, you may
have childreu ; or it you have not,
your daughters may have."
Col. Tom Scott, tho Boston Post
thinks, has become greater than a rail
road king, niui it therefore describes
him as a railrcad tlephaut.
A California jury, in a suicide ca.-e
lately, ictuiiie.i tho following verdict:
"We, Iho jury, find ;hut the deceased
was a f,-ul."