Rates of Advertising.
One Sipirtro (1 Inch,) ono Inertlons - $1 50
OneSiiuare " one month - :i no
13 PUBLISHED EVERY TUESDAY, nY
W. R. DUNN.
DfTlce In Knox's Dulldlrgi Elrr Street.
H OREST
3PTJBLICAN.
Ono Sipinre " three months - (I 0
One Square " ono year - - Iff fs
Two Hi u ares, ono year - - 15 On
Quarter Col. ;i) oo
Half " .... fil) oo
One " " - . - - 100 00
Business Cards, not exceeding one inch
In length, f 10 per year.
Legal notiees at established rates.
These rates are low, and no deviation
fl'ill bo made, or discrimination amonir
patrons. Tho rates offered are such, w
will iniiko it to the advantagoof men dot. J
business In the limits of the circulation of
tho mner to advertise liberallv.
TF.IIM8, J2.00 A YK.AK.
No Subscriptions roccivod for a shorter
period thnn three month.
Correspondence solicited from all part
of the country. No notice will bo taken of
nnonymous communications.
Marriages and Doath notlcos insortod
ifratls.
" Let us have Faith that Right makes Might ; and in that Faith let us to the end, dare do our duty as we understand if--LINCOLN.
VOL. V. NO. 14.
TIONESTA, PA., TUESDAY, JULY 2, 1872.
$2 PER ANNUM.
R
BUSINESS DIRECTORY.
I. XKWTOK rGTTIS. MILK w. tatk.
PETTIS & TATE,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
Aim Street, TIONESTA , JM .
laaao Ash,
ATTORNEY AT LAW, OU City, Pa.
Will practice In'tho various Courts of
Forest County. All buainem entrusted to
kit cara will rocoive prompt attention.
iaiy
yr, VT, Muon,
Tlgocatft, T.
Goorg A. Jenkt,
Mason & Jenks
ATTORNEYS AT LAW. Oniee on Klin
Street, above Walnut, TlonoHta, Pa.
C W. Glinilan,
TTORNRY AT LAW, Franklin, Ve
L. nango Co., Pa. tf.
jr. m. karris, d. d. fabsktt,
HAItlllS C FASSKTT,
Attorneys at Law, Titusvilla Penn'a.
PRACTTCR In all the Court or Warren,
Crawford, Forest and Venango Coun
ties. 4l)-tf
W. P. Mercilliott,
ATTORNEY COUNSELOR AT LAW
Tionesta, Pa. Odlce on Elm Street.
The professional services of the lion. H.
1. Johnson oan be secured through mo if
' desired in any business entrusted to me in
Forest Co. Collections promptly attended
to. Also Real Kstato Agent.
Tionesta House.
MITTEL, Proprietor, Elm St., Tio-
nesta. Pa., at the mouth of the creek,
Mr. Iltle has thoroughly renovated the
Tionesta House, and re-furnished It com
pletely. All who patroni.o him will bo
' wall entertained at reasonable rates. 20-1 y
FOREST HOUSE,
D II LACK PROPRIETOR. Opposite
Court House, Tionesta, Pa. Just
opened. Everything new and clean and
fresh. The best of lienors kept constantly
on hand. A portion of the public patron
age is respectfully solicited. 4-17-1 v
Holmes House,
'"piONESTA, PA.i opposite the Depot.
A C. V. Mabic, Proprietor. Uood Sta
bling connected with the house. tf.
Syracuse House,
rPIDIOUTE, Pa., J. A I Maokk, Prople
X tarn. 'J'ho house has been thoroughly
refitted and is now in the tirst-class order,
. with the best of accommodations. Any
nformation concerning Oil Territory at
this point will Ik) cheerfully turnished.
-ly J. AI. MAUKK,
Exchange Hotel,
IOWKR TIDIOUTE, Pa., D. S. Rams
J KKKI. A Hon Prop's. This house having
been retltod is now the most desirable stop
ping place in Tidiotite. A good Milliard
Itoom attached . 4-lv
National Hotel,
TRVIXETON, PA. W. A. Ilallenback,
Proprietor. This hotel is X :w, and is
iv open as a first (Mass house, situato at
ne Junction of tlio Oil Creek A Allegheny
(Ivor and Philadelphia A Erie Railroads,
pposlte the Depot. Parties having to lay
yer trains will find this the most eonven
, f'nt hotel In town, with tirst-clasa aceom
nodBtlons ayd reasonable charges. tf,
Br. J. L. Aconb,
pHYSICIAX AND BURGEON, who has
. A had fifteen years' experience In a large
nd suecessfuf practice, will attend all
.' Professional Calls. OlUce in his Drug and
Groeory Store, located lu Tidiotite, uoar
Tidiouto House.
IN HIS STORE WILL BE FOUND
A full assortment of Medicines, Liquors
Tobacco, Cigars, Stationery, Ulass, Paints,
Oils, Cutlery, and tine Urocerles, all of the
best quality, and will be Mold at reasonable
A tea.
H. R. BURGESS, an exporleneed-Drug-
gist from Now York, has charge of the
Store. All prescriptions put up accurately.
JOHN A. DALE, PHEIT.
HN A. PROPER, VIC PREiT. A. H. STEELE, CA1HR,
TIONESTA
SAVINGS BANK,
Tionesta, Forest Co., Pa.
This Bank transacLi a General Banking,
Collecting and Exchange Business.
Drafts on the Principal Cities of the
United States and Europe bought and sold.
Gold and Silver Coin and Government
Securities bought and Bold. 7-110 Hoods
converted on the most favorable terms.
Interest allowed on time deposit.
Mar. 4, tf.
SLOAN & VANTrESENr-
BLACKSMITHS
AND
"W AGON-MAKERS.
Corner of Church and Elm Htroots,
TIONESTA rA.
'This Arm is prepared to do all work in
1ls line, and will warrant everything done
tit their shops to give satisfaction. rar-i
liuuiur attention given lo
lIOIlSH-fcllOKIXCi,
Aiive them' a trial, aud you will not ro
,gret it. I3-ly.
Lloyd & Son,
WATER STREET, TIOXE8TA, PA.
HAVE JUST OPENED an extensive
Stock of
FLOUR AND FEED,
GROCERIES AND PROVISIONS,
Which they offer to the pul
o at rates as
other estab
a call before
low as can ue olleruu uv
lishnient in town. (-11
purehasiuir elsuw here.
. 4U-3m. LLOYD ct SON.
The Republican Ofilce
KEEPS constantly on huud a lare as
sortment of tilaiik Deeds, Murtaes,
Nubptenas, Warrants, buiniuons, Ac. to
be aolvl vhcaj) for cash. if.
D. W. CLARK,
(COMMISSIOXKR's CI.KRK, FOR KMT CO., TA.)
REAL ESTATE AGENT.
HOUSES and Tjots for Rale and RENT
W111 Lands for Sale. 1 .
I have superior facilities for ascertaining
the condition of taxes and tax deeds, Ac.,
and am therefore qualified to act intolii-
?;ently ns agent of thoso living at a dis
aneo, owning lands hi the County.
Olllee in Commissioners Kooin, Court
House, Tionesta, Pa.
4-4l-ly. D. W. CLARK.
itrnr. mTMRtnns, ri.t.
1. DITIIIIIUUK, Tnm.
T. A. WRinnT, SrPT.
UKU. V. IIITHIIIDl'iR.
THE SUPERIOR LUMBER CO.,
MANUFACTURERS OF
Pine Lumber, Lath, Shingles &c.
Mills on Tionesta Creek, Forest Co., Pa.
Yards k Office cor. Hi k Roil Rond Sts.,
PITTSBURGH, PA.
Jos. Y. Saul,
PRACTICAL Harness Maker and Sad
dler. Three doors north of Holmes
House, Tionesta, Pa. All work is war
ranted, tf.
KUWARD DITIIUIDUK.
(. D. DlTIIRIDnl
FORT PITT GLASS WORKS.
Established A. D. 1827.
MANUFACTURERS OF
Dithridge's xx Flint Glass
PATENT OVAL
LAMP CHIMNEYS.
AND
Silvered Glass Reflectors.
These chimneys do not break by heat.
Ask for DtTHRiUQEs. Take no other.
DIT1IIUDGE A SON,
Pittsburgh, Ta.
25-ly.
Xcw Hoarding House.
MRS. S. S. HULINGS has built a largo
addition to her house, anil is now pro
pared to aiH-ouinindateanuuiber of perma
nent boarders, and all transient ones who
may favor her with their patronage. A
good stablo hiis recently been built to ac
commodate the horses of guests. Charges
reasonable. Residence on Elm St., oppo
site S. Haslet's store. l-y
JONES HOUSE,
CLArvION, PENN'A.'
S. S. JONES
- Proprietor.
GROCERY AND PROVISION STORE
IN TIONESTA .
GEO. W.B0VARD&G0.
H
AVE just brought on a com plot and
eareiuuy scieciua btocK o:
FLOUIt,
GROCERIES.
PROVISIONS,
and everythinft noeessary to tho complete
stock ofa first-class Grocery House, which
they have openod out at iheir establish
ment on Elm St., first door north of M. E.
Church.
TEAS,
COFFEES, SUGARS,
8 Y HUPS, FRUITS,
SPICES,
HAMS, LARD,
A KD vno visroxs OF ALL kzxds,
at the lowest cash prices. Goods warrant
ed to be of the best quality. Call and ex
amine, and we believe we can suit you.
GEO. W. DO YARD & CO.
Jan. 0, '72.
A JIIU ACL 13 !
Mr. Samuel Boll, of XV. E. Schmortz t
Co., Wholesale Hoot and Shoe Manufactur
ers, 31 Fifth avenue, Pittsburgh, Pa., has
been afllicted with chronic rheumatish for
thiity years, from his riht hip to his foot,
having to use a crutch and a cane, at times
so painful as to utterly incapacitate him
from attending to his 'business. Having
tried every remedy known, without effect,
except (iilliland's Pain Killer, ho was
finally induced to try it. A second applica
tion enabled him to lay aside his crutch,
and a third effected a permanent cure. Mr.
Hell is a popular and well-known citizen,
is a living monument of the etlacaoy of
that great medical discovery, Cilliland's
Pain Killer. The alllicted should ask their
grocer or druggist for it, and try its won
derful power. Mr. Uilliland, we under
stand, wants a respectable agent in every
town and county for it. The principal of
fice is at 72 Third Avenue, Pittsburgh Pa.
31-H
AGENTS WANTED Hound canvass
ing book
SENT FREE!
of postago on receipt of 75 cents, aud ox
culsive territory granted on the
PICTORIL HOME BIBLE.
Contains over 3H illustrations. Is a com
plete Library of Hiblical Knowledge. Ex
cells all others. In English and German.
Win. Elint t Co., Phila., I'a. U7-U
THE
BOOT AND SHOE
STORE.
IF YOU WANT a perfect fit and a good
article of Hoots and felloes, of the finest
workmanship, go to
II. I. Slt'CAXCK'N,
39 CENTRE STREET, OI I. CITY, PA.
.irSatisfactiou iruaruntced. 2-33 tf.
JIM WILD.
BT F. BRET H ARTE.
Say. there 1 P'raps
Homo of you chaps
Might know Jim Wild T
Well, no offence
Thar ain't no sen so
In gottin riled 1
Jim was my chum
Up on the bar :
That's why I como
Down from up yar,
Look in for Jim.
Thank ye, sir 1 you
Ain't of that crow
Hlcst if you are 1
Money T not much ;
That ain't my kind ;
I ain't no such.
Ruin T I don't mind,
Soein its you.
Well, this yer Jim,
Did you know him t
Jess 'bout your size ;
Same kind of eyes ?
Well that is strati go
Why it's two year
bince he como here,
Sick, for a change.
Well, hore's to us,
EliT
The douce you say.
DeadT
That little cuss?
What makos you star'
Vou, over thar T
Can't a man drop
'S-glasa in your shop
But you must rar' T
It wouldn't tako
Very much to break
You and your bar.
Dead I
Toor littlo Jim !
Why thar was me,
Jones and Bob Lee,
Harry and Hen,
No-account men ;
Then to take hiin I
Well, thar Good by,
No more sir, I
EhT
What's that you say?
Why, dorn it 1 Bho !
No! Yes I By Jo I
Soldi
Sold! Why, you limb,
You ornery,
Dcrned old
Long-legged Jim I
From our Special Correspondent.
T'ltl'I TO
THE MAMMOTH CAVE of KY.
Dear Editor : Vrith
mission I propose to give
tiou of our trip to tho
your per
a descrip
Mammoth Cave, Kentucky :
Leaving Louisville on Monday
morning, June 10th, we reached the
Cave Hotel in due time, but being fa
tigued we did not enter upon our ex
plorations until after dinner. The
party consisted of several ladies and
gentlemen from your State, and sev
eral others who went there for the
same purpose, i. e. to see the cave.
One must see a party attired for
the cave to appreciate their appear
ance. The "cave suits" for tli6 ladies
are somewhat picturesque, while those
for the gentlemen are simply well
suffice it to say your correspondent
wore his only one day, as he did not
think it very attractive, either in fit or
material.
Promptly at 4 p. m. we took up our
line of march, led by the accommo
dating guide, James , a very in
telligent colored man. Winding our
way down a deep ravine we reached
the mouth of the cave, which is about
five hundred yards from the hotel.
It has a wild, weird look, as, standing
just above the eutrance, you gaze
down into its depths of darkness.
Our lamps were soon lighted and we
started on our journey, to make what
is called the "short route."
Before proceediug further, it may
be well to give a few facts about the
cave. It is situated in Edmonson
county, Kentucky, about nine miles
from Cave City, on the Louisville and
Nashville Railroad, from which place
it is reached by stage. It was dis
covered in 1809, by a man named
Houchins, who ran a bear into it.
During the war of 1812 Baltpcter was
manufactured in this cave; the old
vats still remaining in a good state of
preservation. Though sixty years
have passed away the ruts, worn by
the cart wheels used iu transporting
the saltpeter, are still plainly visible
in the now almost petrified earth.
For many years after this the cave
was considered of little value, and at
one time the property on which its
entrance is situated, containing 200
acres, was sold for only fifty dollars.
It is now owned by a company, and
is leased by Mr. I). L. Graves, who is
the proprietor of the hotel, and who
knows how to make his guests com
fortable and happy.
It would bo vain to attempt a de
scription of the many interesting
scenes in the cave. Nothing but
sight can give any adequate idea of
their grandeur. I will therefore con
tent myself with a brief running ac
count of our trip through this subter
ranean world, leaving the imagination
of the reader to draw the pictures as
I proceed.
Passing along tho "narrows," and
leaving the saltpeter vats to our right,
the first place of interest we reached
was the Methodist Church. This is a
large apartment, eighty feet in height.
It is said meetings were held there
fifty years ago, and the logs used as
scats are still there. A projecting
rock some fifteen feet high served as a
pulpit platform.
Passing on by "Wandering Wil
lie's Spring," we entered the Gothic
avenue, saw the "Giant's Coffin," and
reached the "Gothic Chapel." This
is a very large room, the ceiling ap
pearing to be supported by gigantic
Btalactites, which extend to the floor.
The stony icicles are large enough to
form ribbed pillars, and fair gotliic
arches. Three of these stalactite pil
lars form the alter. Our guide told
us that three couples had been united
in marriage before this altar. The
first couple were driven to this sub
terranean chapel because the fair
bride had solemnly promised her
mother that she would not marry any
one on the face of this earth ! So she
had to go under the earth. The guide
said he knew of no reason for the
other marriages there unless the par
tics wished to "run matrimony in to
the ground." Next we reached the
"Devil's Arm Chair." This is a very
larga pillar, with a very comfortable
seat in it. Nearly all our party
tried the chair and as Miss McF
sat in it some one remarked, "Now it
is forever purified," and as your hum
ble servant in turn took the seat, the
remark was made, "Now the old fel
low himself is iu it." I vacated im
mediately. Tossing on our way we
came to a small body of elenr water,
named "Lake Purity," from which we
drauk, and hastened by objocts of
minor interest to the famous "Star
Chamber." This is sixty feet in
height, seventy in width and five hun
dred in length. The ceiling is com
posed of Black Gypsom, and is stud
ded with innumerable white points,
which, by the dim light, presents a
resemblance of stars. Here all our
lamps were hidden or extinguished,
aud the guide threw a faint light
upon the ceiling, and most of the
party immediately went into ecstacies
over the starry heaven which they
fancied they saw.
By far the grandest sight on tho
"short routo" is "Goriu's Dome."
This is more than two hundred feet
high, and its walls present a gorgeous,
and impressive appearance when
lighted by a Bengal light. This is
alone worth a visit to the cave.
Turniug away we now retraced our
steps and soon were again in the outer
world.
Next week I will give you a de
scription of the "Long Route." D.
FURTHER DESCRIPTION OF THE MAM
MOTI1 CAVE, KENTUCKY THE
LONO ROUTE.
Dear Editor : As I promised
you in my letter of last week I will
now try and give you a description
of our second day's journey to the
Mammoth Caveby the "Long Route."
After a pleasant night's rest, the
next morning, at 8 promptly, we set
out on the long route to reach the en
trance of which we went over a mile
or more of ground (or rather rock)
traversed the day before, and left the
main cave at the foot of the "Giant's
Collin." The entrance is very diffi
cult and requires one to appear very
much in the same ridiculous attitude
the ladies assume iu tho Grecian bend!
Roving on througli the deserted
chamber and other places of no in
terest we came to a long, serpentine
and narrow passage, culled "Fat
Man's MifcCJy ;" and it is well named,
for it Ss almost impossible for one
weighing, say 250 or 275 pounds, to
get safely through it. It is about fifty
yards long. The lower part of the
avenue in width is from fiftcca to
thirty inches, and the upper part,
that is from a man's chest to his head,
from four to eight feet. In height it
varies from four to eight feet, the
greater part of the way averaging but
four feet. The heaviest man known
to have passed this tortuous avenue
weighed 263 pounds. Tho "Fat
Man's Misery" leads to a large hall,
called "Great Relief."
Through "River Hall" we reached
"Bacon Chamber," where most visi
tors think they see a fine collection of
limestone hams and shoulders sus
pended from the ceiling. My impres
sion, however, was that unless told so
by the guide,imagination would never
see the bacon. Leaving "Bacon
Chamber" we went on to the "Dead
Sea." This is the most awful wild
and solemn view in the cave. Along
a narrow, slippery terrace, we passed
a deep gulf, which, when illuminated
by the Bengal light, we saw to be a
body of water some fifty feel long,
twenty-five wide and fifteen deep.
From the terrace to the water is an
almost perpendicular wall about forty
feet high. There is a terrible gran
deur iu this place, and as I write 1
involuntarily shudder at its gloom.
Connecting with the "Dead Bea" is
the river "Styx." As you pass along
you hear the dull sound of invisable
waterfalls. The deep, dark river is
over-arched with rock so that we
crossed it on a natural bridge. The
"Styx" is one hundred and fifty yards
long, from fifteen to forty wide, and
varies in depth from thirty to forty
feet. The natural bridge crosses the
river about thirty-five feet above it.
Soon we reached tho calm and
peaceful lake "Lethe." This is one
hundred and fifty yards long, thirty
feet wide, and has an . average depth
of twenty feet. As we stood by its
side and peered out over its waters,
we could al most fancy we stood by
the heathen stream of oblivion so
denso was tho darkness so awful
still the scene.
Here we had to embark in boats.
As they moved away, the reflection of
the swinging lamps in the water was
beautifully sublime. But a few hun
dred yards further on we reached
"Echo River," which is three-fourths
ofa mile iu length. Connected with
this river are some of tho most de
lightful impressions we received iu
tho cave. There are sights more gor
geous, more awful, more sublime, but
nowhere are tho senses of sight and
sound so beautifully and so charm
ingly brought into unison, as at "Lake
Lethe." So here we crossed in beats
which made three trips before wo
reached the "other shore."
Before crossing "Echo River" our
guide fired a pistol and the reverbera
tions were louder than the heaviest
artillery or thunder I ever heard.
In these waters are found the cele
brated eyeless fish. The fish are
rarely over eight inches long and re
semble tho common catfish very much.
They have not the slightest trace of
the organ of vision and are almost
transparently white.
I have not space to dwell on many
places of interest, but will briefly re
fer to the remaiuder of our journey.
By a tedious and monotonous route
we reached "Washington Hall," where
we partook of the frugal repast set
before us by our guide. Some of tho
party complained of a scarcity of pro
visions, but as every body knows my
well merited reputation, as a small
eater, this was of no great inconveni
ance to me.
The most artistic portion of the
cave is to be sceu after leaving the
dining hall. Passing through "Snow
ball Room" aud avenue wo came into
"Cleveland's Cubinct," which, iu its
extraordinary beauty, is the crowning
glory of the cave. This avenue is
about two miles in length and is a
perfect arch of filly feet iu tho centre.
It is completely incrusted from end to
end with crystalizations of gypsum,
white as snow. These crystalizations
assume various figures, mimicking
flowers of all climes. Sometimes the
the hard rock is changed into a par
terre of white roses ; sometimes it is
starred with opening daisies ; tho sun
flowers spread their flat disks and
rayed leaves ; the feathery chalices
of the cactus hang, from the clefts ;
the night blooming cereus opens se
curely her snowy cap, for the morning
never comes to close it j "tho tulip is
here a virgin, and knows not that her
sisteis above are clothed in scarlet of
shame." Among so much magnifi
cence it was difficult to select special
objects for the memory to retain.
But the "Last Rose of Summer" de
serves mention. This is a large white
rose, eight inches in diameter, which
hangs from the ceiling, and, strange
to say, is the last flower in the avenue,
and there are no others in the imme
diate vicinity. This fact gives it soil
tary beauty which it would not other'
wise possess.
The cross attracted considerable at
tention. This consists of two crevices
in the ceiling, intersecting each other
at right angles, forming a maltese
cross. These crevices are lined with
flowers of plaster of paris. The cross
is about eight feet long.
Leaving these enchanted scenes
where wo see God's appreciation of the
beautiful we soon crossed the "Rocky
Mountains" and reached "Crogans
Hall," the end of the cave, having
traveled a distance of nine miles
Wearily we set out on our return,
Several of our party had been too
tired to proceed beyond "Cleveland's
Avenue," and had alicady started
back.
J? many the cave s mouth was
reached and toiling up the hill we
soon surrounded tho well filled tables
of the dining-room, and I opine that
that there was not much margin for
the landlord that night.
In conclusion I would say we had a
most delightful trip, although we were
all very tired. D.
The Detroit Frco Press mourns the
loss of a smart boy in this manner:
The public will regret to learn that
the family of James Otis, Porter
street, is to remove to baeinnw, tak
inir vouiifr Johnny along. The boy
started out two years ago by shooting
himself. Two mouths after he chok
ed himself with a fish bono. A few
days after he built a fire in the barn
and called out the steamers. He then
swallowed a top, got run over by an
ice wagon, full into tho river, was lost
for three days, and first and hist he
has been a fountain of local news,
whose value cannot be estimated on a
slate four feet square. If tho Saginaw
reporter only commences on him right
he will "pau out" at least threo times
per week. Jle should bo himisheil
with a box of matches, a horse pistol
aud plenty of gunpowder, and it won't
do any harm to pat him on the back
occasionally and tell him that his ef
forts are appreciated.
One of tho most remarkable men in
Mexico is General Manuel Lozadn, an
independent chieftain, who .prides
himself on having in his veins the
blood of the Montczumas. i or many
years he has been independent of the
government, has his own army, col
lccls his own revenues, mckes his own
guns, and declaics war aud makes
pence to suit himself. The population
of his canton is 30,000, all Indians,
and under his complete control. He
maintains the most stable and orderly
government in Mexico. He is a far
mer by desires and tastes, and ono of
the hardest-working men m the can
ton. His people are comfortable an!
happy, yet he cannot write his name.
That sort of thing is done for him by
a priest who is always by his side.
An Irish correspondent of an Eng
lish paper, after staling the fact that
every steamer is loaded with emi
grants for America, many being left
behind for want of accommoda
tions on boarj, says: "I sincere
ly hope my poor countrymen are "im
proving their position" iu going
lo the 'Fur West ;' but if emigration
on this scale continues a little longer,
I think Ireland will become a large
pasture farm. Already several large
farmers in my locality hnvo sold oil'
their much cows and turned to (ceding
dry stock, in consequence of the scarci
ty of female servants."
Iu Cleveland, Olio, tho other day,
a young woman culled at a tailor's es
tablishment to procure work. One cf
the workmen, an eutiro stranger to
her, being attracted by lier appearance,
struck up a talk, and in less than an
hour they were made man aud wife. Of
course such a protracted courtship
afforded every opportunity for tho
young lady to become thoroughly ac
quainted with tho disposition aud
character of her spouse, and a happy
married life must lie tho result.
A young man in Hartford read
somewhere that more deaths occurred
at five o'clock in the morning than at
any other hour, and now gets up
regularly at four, iu order to be out
when Death makes his morning calls.
The following extract from the Lou
isville Courier is a getn in its way I
"The New York Sun, which is seldom
satisfied with things, objects to the
proportions of rattle-snake recently
seen in Carter County, in this State,
and described as reaching from ono
side of the road to the other, while its
body was as big as an ordinary churn.
The Sun says 'that was a very badly
proportioned snake,' and that 'it
should have been a good deal longer
or else a good deal thinner.' We
should like to know who is running
the snakes of this State, herself or the
editor of the New York Sun. When
things come to such a pass that New
York arrogates to herself to dictate to
Kentucky the sizo and shape of her
serpents, it is high time for the trum
pet to sound to arms and for the sword
to leap from its scabbord."
A few days ago a couple of Boston
runners entered a restaurant in Port
land and ordered dinner. One was
pleased to order a plate of baked
beans. When he came to settle ho
asked tho price, and was informed
that forty cents would be satisfactory.
The runner was astonished, and ex
claimed "Isn't that a h 1 of a price
for beans?" The man of grub got
mad, and said that was tho price and
that must be paid. The runner re-uttered
the same pious exclamation of
astonishment several times and pnid
the scot. On going out of the door
he turned and yelled it again, but tho
bean man was silent. The next day
the restaurant keeper received a dis
patch and paid the telegraph boy for
ty cents. Judge, if you can, of his
utter disgust when upon opening it ho
read. "Isn't that a h 1 of a price for
beans ?" Bangor Commercial.
We havo a little story for boys with
a nice moral to it. Little Johnny
Moore, away out iu Monroe, Mich.,
went to a picnic last week, and like a
foolish little boy that he was, tried to
smoke a cigar. It made him sick, of
course, and he threw himself on tho
wet grass aud lay there a long time.
The result was ho had congestive chills
atid died. It is a sad story, aud the
moral is that you can go to picnics
if your parents are willing, but you
had better not try to smoke cigars,
and by all means don't lie on the wet
grass.
There seems to bo an unusual anxie
ty nowadays to save the lives of mur
derers. The minions of the law will
neither compass their death nor allow
them the privilege of doing it them
selves. A wretch in Peoria, Illinois,
who had slain one wife and obtained
another iu Kentucky, tried to poisfbu
himself a few days ago, but was pro
vented. His wife had kindly furnish
ed him with a dose of corrosive subli
mate, but was disappointed by the
meddling officers.
A simple, practical test is given in
the American Artisan to test the purity
of colleo by which many adulterations
of that article can easily bo detected,
even if the taste is not a sure index.
If a tcaspoonful of genuine ground
coffee be thrown into a tumblerful of
cold water, it will float upon the sur
face. Most substances used in odul
teriug colleo will sink at once.
A printer, having been "flung"' by
his sweet heart, tried to commit suicide.
The "devil" found him out and took
him to the sanctum where the editor
was writing duns to delinquent sub
scribers. The picture of despair pre
sented by the editor reconciled the
printer to his fate. He began to con
sider himself as comparatively happy.
A New Fuirficld man who failed' to
get a thirty cent pine apple for a quar
ter of a dollar, wanted to know
"whether we are breathing the pure
air of freedom, or being strangled with
tho fetid breath of a hellish despot
ism ?" The storekeeper said those
were the only pine apples he had.
An aged couplo in a village reprov
ed a young mau for familiarities with
their daughter, when he thus to them
did make reply: "Well, you needn't
be so bouncy about it, we've been mar
ried a year."
An ingenious youth, in Quiucy, 111.,
has been doing a thriving trade iu sell
ing rats' tails, planted in flower pots,
to unsophicated florists, as specimens
of new species of cactus.
A Kansas paper iu reporting a trial,
concludes with "tho jury returned a
verdict of not guilty, but if the pris
oner is sharp, he will leave town with
out loss of time."
A city missionary was asked the
cuuso of his poverty. "Principally,"
said he, with a twinkle of the eye,
"because I have preached so much
without notes."
There are two reasons why somo
people don't mind their own busiuess.
One is that they havo no business,
and tho other is that tiny have no
mind.
An old farmer said of his clergy
man, whoso sermons lacked point:
"Ah, yes, he's a good man; but ho
will rake with the teeth upward."
A dumb man recently went to law
w ith a deaf man. Tho latter, of cui:i.-e,
was the deaf-endunt.
"Ti ii ' j,-.