glu forest gltpuWicnu. IS rCBMSIIEI) KVKHY TUESDAY, BY W. R. DUNN. DfTlce In Kn.ox'9 Dulldlng. Elm. Street. Rater of Advertising. One Square (I Inch,) one Inertlons - f 1 SO One Square " one month - - II 00 One Square " three months - DUO One Square " one year - 10 00 Two Squares, one veor - 1" no Quarter Col. ' " - - - - m IX) Half " " m 00 Olio " "... - 100 00 Kuslness Cards, not exceeding one inch In length, $10 per year. Leal notices at established rates. Theso rates are low, and no deviation vill be made, or discrimination atnonn patrons. Tho rates oll'ered are such, n will make it to the advantage of men dol, g business in the limits of the circulation of the nu.ier to advertise liberally. M ORES EPTJBL TERMS, $2.00 A YKAU. No Subscriptions rccelvod for n Hhortor period tlmti three months. Correspondence solicited from all parts of tho country. No notice will bo taken of annonymous' communications. MnrrifiKo and Death notices iiiHortod gratis. " Lot us havo Faith that Right makes Might ; and in'.that Faith lot us to tho end, daro do our duty as we understand it."--LINCOLN. VOL. V. NO. 13. TIONESTA, PA., TUESDAY, JUNE 5, 1872. $2 PER ANNUM. ICAN BUSINESS DIRECTORY. HE WTO I'ETTIS. MILKS W, TATE. PETTIS & TATE, ATTORNEYS AT LAW, Aim Strict, TIONESTA , PA. Isaac Ash, ATTORNEY AT T,AW, Oil City, Pa. Will practice In tint various Courts of Forest County, All business entrusted to his cure will roeclvo prompt attention. 10 ly W. W. Maiwn, Goorip A. Jnnk, Tioa.au, r. nnwkTllle, P.. Mason & Jork3, ATTOUXKYS AT LAW. OffiVo on Klin Ktreot, above Walnut, Tionesta, Ih. C. W. Gilfillan. , A TTOItXKY AT I,AV, Pianlilin, Ve- IlUIltfO VO., k II. II. J. R. HAHUIS, 1). I. 1WSSKTT, IT A II I! IS if FA SS i: TV, Attorneys at Law, TltusvUla Penn'a. PRACTICF. In all tho Courts of Warren, Crawford, Forest and Venango Coun ties. 4H-tf W. P. Mercilliott, ATTOItXEY A COUNSKLOU AT LAW Tionosta, l'a. Ollleo on Kim Street. Tho professional services of tho Hon. H. P. Johnson can bo secured throuirh mo If desired in any business entrusted to me in r'orent Co, Collections promptly attended to. Also Heal ICstato Atrcnt. Tionesta House. MITTKL, Proprietor, Kim St., Tio- .,, 1 ,l,n I, i.PllinAMinlr Mr. Iltlo has thoroughly renovnted tho Tionesta House, and ro-l'iirnished it com pletely. All who patronize him will bo vim entertained ut reasonable rates, bi ty FCIEST HOUSE, DI1LACK PKOPHIKTOU. Opposite Court House, Tionesta, Pa. Just opened. Kvervtliincr new and clean and fresh. The best of liquors kept constantly on Hand. A portion ol inn imbue patron no is respoctl'uliy solicited. 4-17-1 V Holmes House, nnOTs'F.STA, PA., opposite tho rvpot, I C. 1). Mabie, Proprietor, (iood Sta bling connected witli the house. tf. Syracuso House, T1PIOUTK, Pa., J. A n M aoef, Propio tors. The houso lias been thoroughly relltted and is now in tho first-class order, with the best of accommodations. Anv lil'ormation onecruimr Od Territory ut Mil point, will 00 elicoriilliv Iiirmsiieii. -ly J. Silt. MAtiKK, Excbango Hotel, T 0WF.it timoctr. Pa., rvs. tums XJ dkki. So Prop's. This house having neen rented Is now tup most desirable stop ping place in Tidiouto. A good Billiard iuoiu aiiucncu. -'' National Hotel, TTtYIXETOX, PA. W. A. llallenbnd;, Proprietor. This hotel is Nkw, and is ,iw opc.n as a lirst class house, situate at ne Junction of the Oil Creek it Allegheny liver and Philadelphia A Krio Railroads, pposite tho Depot. Parties having to lay ver trains will tind this the most convcii ont hotel In town, with first-class aeeom- nodntjons and reasonable charges. tf. Dr. J. L. Acoirb, PIIYSICTAX AND Sl'RP. I'.OX, who has had lifteen years' experience in a hirjro nun ucccfiui jjracnce, win nucud nil Professional Calls. Oltlce in his ln-mr ami grocery Storo, located in Tidlouto, near luuouta uouso. IX HIS STORK WILL UE FOUXD A full assortment of Medicine. I.iouors Tobacco, Ciuars. Stationerv. tilass. Paints. Oils, Cutlery, and tino (Jrocories, all of tho best quality, and will be sold at reasonable rates. II. R. BURGESS, an experienced Drnif- pint from New York, has clmro of the Ture. All prescriptions put up accurately. JOHN A. DALE, PRtt'T. HN A. PROPER, VICE PRE8T. A. H. STEELE, CA8HR, SAVINGS BANK, Tionesta, Forest Co., Pa. This Rank transact)! a General Ranking, Collecting ami K.xchanjje Business. llrarts on tho Principal Cities of the Vnited States and Europe bought and sold. tiold and Silver Coin and lioverninent Securities bought and sold. 7-:)0 Uonds converted on the most favorable terms. Interest allowed on time deposits. Mar. 4, tf. SLOAN & VAN GIESEN. BLACKSMITHS AXD WAGON-MAKERS. Corner of Church and Kim Streets, TIONESTA lV. una nun in iiiiaioi tw UU (111 Vt III K J II I Hh lino, niul will warrant evorvthinir done J tiuulur atttiiiiiou given to iioitsi:.snoi:i., Rive them atrial, and you will not re gret it. 13-ly. Lloyd & Son, TCATKIt STHEET, TIOXtSTA, PA. HAVE JUST OPKXED an exteiibivo Stock of FLOUR AND FEED, GROCERIES AND PROVISIONS, WhL'li lltAV nlK.f In llin iml.liA nl i-nln. low as can he ottered by any oilier oMab-sJ iiKiimcni in town, lino us a cull belmo liurcliiiaing elsew here. U-;iiu. IXOVDASON, Tlo Republican Office KEEPS constanlly on hand a l.iro as bortment of lllaiik Deeds, Morti'.urcs, HubHtuus, Warrants, Siinimous, Ac. to liBBold chip (or ca-.li. tf. D. W. CLARK, (COMMISSIONKU'B CI.KHK, FORKST CO., T.) REAL ESTATE AG EXT. II OUHRS nnd Tots for Rale and RKXrp Wild Ijtnds for Kale. x I have sunerior facilities for ascertaining the condition of taxes and tax deeds, Ac, ami am thereforo qualified to act intelli gently as airont of those living at a dis tance', owning lands In tho Countv. Ollice in Commissioners Room. Court House, Tionesta. Pa. 4-41-ly. P. W. CLARIC. riiir. niTMRieoK. Pw.t. K U. linillllllUK, Tn-M. T. A. VRIOIIT, Pvt. ui:o. w. iiiiiiiuiiuR, THE SUPERIOR LUMBER CO., MAXUFACTURERS OF Pine Lumber, Lath, Shingles &c. Mills on Tionesta Creek, Forest To., Pa. Yards k Office cor. lh k Rail Road Sis., riTTSIiURGH, PA. Jos. Y. Saul, PRACTICAL Harness Maker and Sad 1 dler. Threo doors north of Holmes House, Tionesta, Pa. All work is war ranted, tf. KIIWAI1D D1TI1RIIMIE. K. p. DITHKIDGE FORT PITT GLASS WORKS. Kstablished A. D. 187. PITHEHDQE & MANVFACTURF.ItS OF Ditliridge's xx Flint Glas3 PATENT OVAL LAMP CHIMNEYS. AXD Silvered Glass Reflectors. Thoso chimneys do not break by heat. Ask for Ditiiiitdoks. Take no other. I)ITHRID(iRv SOX, 25-ly. rittsbui-Kli.ra. yiow I5arJIti"; House. MRS. S. S. HULIXGS has built a lame addition to her houso, and is now pre pared to accommodate a number of perma nent boarders, and all transient ones who may favor her with their patronage. A pood Htahto has recently been built to ac commodate tho horses of quests. Charires reasonable. Resideneo on Kim St., oppo site S. Haslet's store. J-ly JONES HOUSE, CLArjON, PENN'A.; S.S. JONES - - -Proprietor. GROCERY AND PROVISION STORE IN TIO NFS TA . KLINORDLINGER & GO. nAVEjusthroinrliton a complete and carefully selected stock of FLOUR, GROCERIES. PROVISIONS, and everything necessary to tho coniploto stock ofa tlrst-class Urocery House, which they have opened out at their esUiblish meut on Elm .St., first door north of M. K. Church. TKAS, COFFEES, SUGARS, SYRUPS, FRUITS, SPICES, HAMS, LARD, A XD ritO VISIOXS OF ALL KIXD. at tho lowest cash prices. Cioods warrant ed to be of the best quality. Call and ex amine, and we believe we can suit vou. N. KLIXOROLINUER Jt CO. Jan. 9. '72. A. M I It A CIK! Mr. Samuel Roll, of W. K. Schmert d: Co., Wholesale Root nnd Shoo Manufaciur ers, 31 Filth avenue, Pittsburgh, Pa., has been alllicted wiih chronic rheumnlish for thiity years, from his rijrlit hip to his foot, having to uso a crutch and a cane, at times so painful as to utterly incapacitate him from attending lo his business. Having tried every remedy known, without eil'ect, except Uillihmd'H Pain Killer, ho was finally induced to try it. A second applica tion enabled him to lay aside his crutch, nnd a third ell'ected a permanent cure. Mr. Hell is a popular and well-known citizen, is a living monument of tho rtt'aeacv of that great medicul discovery, Oillila'niVs Pain Killer. The atllictod should ask their procor or druirgist for it, and try its won derful power. Mr. tailliland, 'we under stand, wants a respectable agent in every town ami county for it. The principal of lico is at 11 Third Avenue, Pittsburgh Pa. Ul-4t AGENTS WASTED Round canvass ing book SENT FREE ! of postage on receipt of "5 cents,' and ex culsive territory grunted on the PICTORIL HOME BIBLE. Contains over .'too illustrations. Isa com plete Library of Riblicai Knowledge. Ex cells all others. In Eifglisli and tiermau. "Win. Flint it Co., Piiila., l'a. 127-lt THE BOOT AND SHOE STOBE. TP YOU WANT a perfect fit and a pood I- article of Hoots and Shoes, of tho thiunt workmanship, go U If. I,. JlrCAXC'K'S, S'J CENTRE STREET, OIL CITY, PA. .-r'rSutistactiou guaranteed. tf. Jerusalem Present Condition of the City. A private letter from an American in Jerusalem, under date of March 22, gives this account of the present con dition of tho Holy City: Jerusalem, once "the toy of the wholo world," has fallen low; it is Jerusalem, but not "the City of the Great King." It is a poor place, with narrow crooked lanes or streets, badly paved damp and filthy. The people are poor, and thero is no trade or com merce, as it is in the rnidt-t of a barren land, and remote from the line of the world's business. How the people live here is a mystery. Tho city is walled entirely around, and as the walls are in good condition, from its external appearance from all points, one would expect a rich Hnd beautiful town within. Beggars in rags meet one on all sides, clamoring for "buck shecsh," and lepers sit by the wayside exhibiting a picture only to bo real ized. Frequently, during my sojourn here of seven weeks, have I ascended the Mount of Olives, and, sitting under an olivo tree, contemplated tho great event in the past history ot Jerusalem, and endeavoring to realize that when tho Saviour was upon earth, and when he also walked the same roads that I now walk, and gazed upon the same natural scenes, and as 1 look down up on the city, I think of tho words of Christ while also looking from the same mount, "iNot one stone shall re main upon another;" and how true! now nothing remains of that Jerusa lem but the site, now tho modern Jeru salem. Often have I entered tho Church of the Holy Bepulcher, on Cal vary, and there silently mused. The painful miuuteness of detail in which holy places aro marked out and shown ns identical, detracts creatly from one's enjoyment. I believe the church, or buildings on Calvary, occupy tho very rock, but 1 do not believe in the identity of spot to the fraction. While standing by tho rock which is marked as the very place where stood the cross, I bclievo one is within a few feet of tho place, which is quite sufficient. Anil as to the bepuleher, in a small building in tho center of a rotunda, above the floor, I do not believe iu it, and yet am of faith it is over the tomb hewu in tho rock. Tho tomb now shown is a plain marble sarcophagus, much like a bath-tub. There is nothing to bo seen of the rock of Culvary, being all covered with buildings and marble floors, ex cent that portion where the cross was elevated (.which is some fifteen feet higher than the tomb), and this is on ly seen through a small openiner, and also tho rent, caused, as said, by tho earthquake at the crucilixion. Pil grims aro now gathering here for Eas ter Russians, Persians, Armenians, Greeks, etc., etc. and they present a unique picture in their curious cos tumes. They daily enter tho Church of the Holy Sepucher and kiss every old stone from the entrance through out, firm in their belief of every place lueniiueu. it is an interesting scene long to be remembered. 1 have been around tho citv with out the walls many times, as also upon them, and either has its interest. Threo times havo I been within the Mosquo of Omar, on Mount Moriah, the site of Soloman's Temple. The mosque, bciner the second halv nlncn of Hn. hammedanism, is much out of repair and greatly neglected, as also the sur rounding grounds, nn interesting com ment upon the religion of that people as to sacred places. The vaults or ex tensive arches under the platform on the south side are exceedingly interost ing, nud supposed to bo of the time of bulomon. I have twice explored the extensive quarries under Jerusalem, which bear marks of quarryiiig ns distinct as though ot yesterday. Thev extend probably to the temple, and no doubt weie used for the great temple, of 1.- 000 years B. C. Thev are diflicult of exploring, as one has in many places to crawl on hands and feet. I have been to Jericho, and bathed in the Jordan, as well as tho Dead Sea, in whieli 1 was borne up like, a cork. Have visited Bethany. Bethlehem, and Hebron, where Abraham was buried, also the pools of Solomon, etc., etc., and iu fact every place of interest hereabouts, and next week start over land for tho Sea of Galilee, Nazareth, etc etc., to JJeyrut, and acaiu to Dam ascus, where I am in hopes of joining a party lor Palmyra, and on my re turn will go to Smyrna, Constanutino pie, etc., etc., and thence to Greece, Albania, juontengro, etc., etc. The weather is beatiful iu Palestine; flower8are in bloom, and all nature is in its most gorgeous array, where thero is an opportunity of being so. Under Turkish Government everything is left to decay, and nothing is repaired or renewed, consequently lias a neglected appearance. . A newsboy having been garroted and robbed in Jacksonville, Illinois, tho Chicago Times sajs that highway men will bo attacking repoiteis soon, ns those gentlemen stand next below newsboys in tho scale of journalistic opulence. Tho following we extract from a little book on chronic disenscs, by R. V. Pierce, M. D., of Buffalo, N. Y. Our readers can receive this interest ing aud useful little book, post-paid, by enclosing one postage stamp to tho doctor. The great prevalence of this di sease, and its latal results, are well calculated to enlist our best efforts for its cure. What is Consumption? It is a diseaso of the lungs, produced by an acrid and impure condition of the blood, which, circulating through theso most delicate organs, poisons and irritates their tissues and invites scrofulous humors of the blood, caus ing the deposition of tubercles and es tablishing local scrofula. Another prolific exciting cause of the develop ment of scrofulous disease of the lungs, or tubercular consumption, is chronic nasal catarrh, which, extend ing along tho mucous lining mem brane of the throat, trachea aud bron chial tubes, finally attacks the sub stance of tho lungs, and here estab lishes such an irritation as to invite the blood to deposit its burden of impurities in these organs. Con sumption itself is not so often heredi tary as is generally supposed. That a condition of low vitality may be transmitted from parents to children is unquestionably true. . It is this de ficiency of vitality which is inherited a weakness which makes nutrition imperfect, and leads to the deposit of tuuercies. jjut thousands of persons who inherit feeble vitality would never suffer from consumption if the functions of the system were kept correct and tho blood pure. When tho liver becomes torpid, and but very imperfectly pours off tho effete, poisonous materials of the blood, the lungs, as has before been shown,, be come irritated. The general health becomes broken down, and tlio person feels languid, weak, faint, drowsy and confused. Pain in the right side, in tho region of the liver, and sympa thetic pain in the shoulders and 3piue and through the lungs, is generally complained of. Tho patient soon has a dry, hacking cough that liver cough. Small minute tubercles are developed in tho lungs, and perhaps exist for mouths nil unknown to their victim. Nothing is done to remove tubercles by the ordinary treatment. There is no rational way to cure con sumption except to purify the blood. Those poisonous materials in the blood which cause the tubercles must bo thrown ofl'by exciting tho liver to action. Vitality must bo supported, the system nourished nnd built up, and the development of tubercles thus prevented. Remove tho blood poison by restoring the action of the liver, nud the cough, which is only a symp tom of tho real disease, is relieved. You thereby strike at tho root of in cipient consumption and euro the pa tient. From the properties and remedial effects of Dr. Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery, which I have in the pre ceding pages fully explained, the reader will readily understand why it has been so successful in curing the fatal malady. With it I havo arrested tho hack ing and harassing cough, tho night sweats and hectic fever of tho con sumptive invalid ; snatched fiom the jaws of death and restored to health and happiness many who, but for my Discovery, must soon have fallen vic tims to that relentless foe. God, I believe, has installed into the roots and plants from which this wonderful medicino is extracted, the healing properties, by the use of which, Con sumption, tho scourge of tho human family, may, in its early stages, be promptly arrested aud permanently cured. I do not wish to delude, flat ter, and then disappoint tho afflicted by asserting that this can be accom plished when the lungs are half con sumed, as many do who, being devoid of all conscience, aim to humbug tho afflicted, that they may sell their of ten worse than worthless compounds. But if my Alt. Ext., or Golden Medical Discovery, is employed in the first or early stages of the disease, I know from ample observation and actual test in hundreds of cases, that it will positively arrest the disease anil restore health nnd strength. From its wonderful power over this terrible diseaso I thought of calling it my Consumptive Cure; but from the fact that it is a perfect specific for the sore throat aud hoarseness to which minis ters and other public sneakers and singers are subject, and also for Bron chitis, and all severe coughs, and is an invaluable remedy for diseases of tho Liver, and also as a blood purifier I decided not to apply to it a name which might mislead aud prevent its use in other diseases for which it is so admirably adapted. It w ill cure a cough iu one-half the time necessary to cure it with any other medicine, and it does it not by drying it up, but by removing the cause, subduing tho irritation and healing tho affected parts. Dr. Pierce's Gulden Medical Dis covery is sold by Druggists every where. I Winnie's Mistake. by i. o. u. In an arbor formed by two giant oaks, and canopied by their interlac ing branches, sat beautiful Winnie Geoffrey, and by her side was Maurice West, his dark eyes fixed on the vel vet turf, nnd scemiugly intent only on the utter destruction of the rosetree beside him. An exclamation froniWinnie roused him from his reverie. "Maurice. What are you thinking of? You have not uttered a word for the last half-hour. If the demolition of rosetrees is more agreeable than my society, I will go back to the house." "Do not go, Winnie," he said, "I have something to tell you." And there was a pause, during which the rosetrees was nearly denuded. 'I received a letter from the senior partner this morning. Ho says it is necessary for one of us to go to Brazil immediately, to look after our inter ests there. He wishes me to make the voyage. Winnie, shall I go?" "Dear me!" she exclaimed, "What a question. You must consult your own pleasure. I am not the one to decide." "You are, Winnie, you are," he said engerly, searching the fair face of the little coquette with his dark eyes, as if to find there the comfort which her words denied him. "Upon your de cisiou rests mine. Tell me, shall I go or stay," "You will do as you please," was tho calm reply. "Then it -makes no difference to you." "Indeed it does not." He turned away, very quietly for a rejected lover, Winnie thought, but she did not sco his face, and could not know tho bitter disappointment written there. "Winnie," she looked up in sur prise at the cool, firm tones. "It is getting damp. It is not safe for you to be out longer. Let mo take you to the house." She took his proffered arm, and ns they passed up the avenue of stately elms, she wondered at his manner, so quiet and self possessed, so different from the eager, ardent lover of an hour ago, and alone in her room she regretted her hasty words, words that her heart denied, even while they wero being spoken. "But ho will forgive me," sho told herself. "lie will come to mo again." Tho morrow came but brought no pleading lover. Instead thero came the tidings that Maurice West bud started for tho city the evening of their interview, bull she could not believe that he was lost to her, for in tho depths of her coquettish heart, Winnie loved Maurice West with all tho strength of a flirt's affection. Sho watched and waited for some tok en of forgiven remembrance, but the days and weeks camo and went, bring ing no messago from the absent one till over a year had flown. A year passed by; Winnie Geoffrey in alter nate hope nnd disappointment. "Well Winnie, I havo some news for you," said Mr. Geoffrey, on enter ing the breakfast room one morning. Winnie glanced up from her paper and asked, "What is it, pnpa?" "Maurice West has returned. Why! What ails you girl?" for Winnie had turned white as marble, aud tho paper rattled to tho floor. "Nothing papa, only I am not well this morning. Did you say that Mau rice West had returned ?" "Yes, Squire Willis was telling me. His uncle you know; Squire says he's njarricd to a very beautiful woman, too. Met her off there at Para-Pura, what is the name of that place where he's been? She is not of South Amer ican birth, however. Squire's seen her and says she is intelligent, highly educated, and all that. I used to thinlr, before Maurice went away, that you and he liked each other pret ty well. But I was mistaken it seems. Hey, Winnie?" "It was a mistake," faltered Win nie, as she hastily left tho breakfast room, for her father's talk ef Maurice aud his bride was more than she could bear. "It was a mistake, my mistake," she told herself in after years of her secluded life, when sho saw tho happi ness of Maurice aud his gentle wife. "Tommy, my son, what are you go ing to do with that club?" "Send it to the editor, of course." "But what aro vou going to send it to the editor for?" "Cause he says if anybody will send him a club ho will send them a copy of his paper." The mother came pretty near faint ing, but retained couseiousucss to ask, "But, Tommy, dear, what do you sup pose ho wants with a club ?" "Well, I don't know," replied the hopeful urchin, "unless it is to knock down subscribers as don't pay for their paper. Never run down your opponent's goods in public. Let him do his owi; advertising. A Philosophical Darkey. An elderly darkey with a very phil osophical and retrospective cast of countenance, was squatting upon his bundle on the hurricano deck of one of tho Western river steamers, toast ing his shins against the chimney, and apparently plunged in a state of pro found meditation. His dress aud ap pearance indicated familiarity with camp life, and it being soon after the siegb and capture of Fort Donelson, I was inclined to disturb his reveries, and on interrogating found that he had been with the Union forces nt that place, when I questioned him further. His philosophy was so much in the Falstaffin vein that I will give his views in his own words as near as my memory will serve me. ere you in the fight? I had a little taste of it, sa. Stood your ground, did you? No, sa, I runs. Run at the first fire, did you? Yes, sa, an' would hab run soonn had I know d it was comin . Why, that wasn't very creditable to vour courage. Dat isn't iu my line, sa cookiu's my protession. Well, have you no regard for your reputation r Reputation! miffin to me by the side of life. Do you consider your life worth more than other people s? It's worth more to me, sa. Then you must value it very high ly? Yes, sa, I does; more dan nil this world; more dan a million dollars, sa; for wut would that be wuth to a man wid the bref out of him? Self prescr bashun am de fust law wid me, sa. But why snould you act upon a dif ferent rule from other men? Cause, sa, different men sets differ ent value" upon tier selves; my lifo is not in ue market. But if you lost it you would have tho satisfaction of knowing that you died for your country. Whnt satisfuc'n would dat be to me, when the power of leelin was gone? Then patriotism and honor are noth ing to you? Nuffiu', whatever, a I regard dem as among do varieties. If our soldiers were liko you trait ors might have broken up tho Gov ernment without resistance. Yes, sa ; der would hab been no help for it. I wouldn tput my life in do scales gainst any gubenucnt dat eber existed tor no guberment could replace de loss to me. Spec, dough, dat de guberment safe if da is all like me. Do yon think any of your company would havo missed vou if you had been killed? May bo not.sa. A dead .white man ain't much to deso sogers, let alone a dead nigga: but I'd a missed myself, and dat was de pint wid me. It is safo to say that tho dusky eornse ol that African will never darken the field of carnage. " Scratch That Man Off." In one of the United Stales Courts a short timo ago, tho Marshal was calling the list for tho purpose of im panuellinga jury, and tho work was going bravely on, when, in answer lo a name, a somewhat shabby genteel individual put in nn nppenranee, nnd in a very mild nnd self-depreciating manner feebly asked to be excused. The judge, a very pompous nnd dig nified gentleman, first looked aston ished, nnd then in a deep, rebuking voice, sternly said : "Excused, sir ! excused, sir ! excused ; on what ground !" The juror, that was not to be, cast ing a helpless look around with a faint attempt at a smile, replied : "I I I have tho itch, sir." "The itch, sir; tho itch? The deuce you have," said his honor, at the same time rising in his magisterial dignity. "The itch, sir! Mr. Marshal," tumiug to thnt functionary, "Mr. Marshal, scratch that man off." Tho Marshal fainted, the court went into convulsions, nnd the juror left. J Washington Pastry. A sojourner in Washington sends the following : I am particularly fond of lemon pie and ice cream for des sert. At I went on peaceably for a couple of weeks, but always eating lemon pie under a silent protest, for I was a stranger, nnd did not like to raise objections. Finally I called a waiter and said : "John, I have nothiug to f ay about this ice cream, but what kind of pie is this?" "What kind did you order, Fall?" "I ordered lemon pie, but this ap pears to be dried apple." "Dat's lemon pie, siih. You know dey has a way ofniixin' dried apple iu do lemou pie here, sail, to dat ex tent it requires a man of ability to 'stinguiah 'em apart, sab. Do lemons are scarce, you know, ami dey has to conoiniso nn so ns to mako one lem on do or sixteen pt.s. A full purse never lacks irieiiils. What He Used to Think. Upon General Grant's accession to the Presidency a great number of those who hnd" supported his election, with some who had not, sought office at his hands, or expected him to be stow it unasked. He was unable to gratify their nspirntions. Their la mentations, mingled with the howls of the disappointed, made up a very dole ful dissonance, whereof the only mean ing deducible runs thus: "Gen. Grant is found wanting his Administration is a failure." "Failure?" how? in what? Havo we not peace and plenty in the land ? Is not our flag displayed and re spected on every sea ? What foreign foe molests or threatens us? Who fears insurrection at home, or invasion from abroad ? Yes. Gen. Grant has failed to gratify somo eager aspirations, and has thereby incurcd some intense ha treds. These do not and will not fail ; and his Administration will prove at least equally vital. We shall hear lamentation after lamenta tion over his failures from those whoso wish is father to tho thought; but the American people let them pass unheeded. Their strong arm boro him triumphant through the war nnd into the White House, and they still uphold nnd sustain him; they never failed and they never will. The above very sensible remarks are from tho pen of Horace Greeley, and were published not so very long ago in the Tribune. They nro not a whit less true to-day than when they were written, although Greeley him self now ranks ns au "office-seeker" backed up by those staunch patriots, Waldo Hutching nud Reuben E. Fen-ton. A wnggish journalist who is often merry over his personal plainness, tells this story of himself: "I went onco to a drug store for a dose of morphine for a sick friend. The night clerk objected to give it to mo without a prescription, fearing I was going to kill myself. "Pshaw," said I, "do I look liko a man who would destroy himself?" Gazing steadily nt mo, ho replied : "I don't know. Seems to me if I looked liko you I should bo greatly tempted to kill myself." Brighara Ycungs's quiet little fami ly circle consists of thirty-two wives and sixty-eight children, and when they all gather around tho hearth on a winter evening, the effect is said to be indescribably cosy. A wedding that wns to. have takeu placo in St. Paul, a day or two since, was indefinitely postponed by tho dis appearance of the brido that wns to bo on tho wedding morning. Sho eloped with a former lover. An English law compels a married woman, if she has money or the means of making it and her lord has none, to support him, bo ho ever so worthless, that tho expense of his keeping may not come upon tho parish. A lady in Clinton, Iowa, gave a burglar a very severe flogging with a dustingbrush tho other night. She said sho wouldn't havo done it if she hadn't been under tho impression that it was her husband just getting home. Somo of tho Indian clergymen in tho civilized tribes ol the West havo queer names. Among them nro Rev. Mr. Black Fox, Rev. Mr. Muskrat, Rev. Mr. Walking Stick, and Rev. Mr. Johnny Juniper. A skull 20 inches iu circumferenco above tho ears has been dug up at Du buque, Iowa. This seems to indicate that "in those days" there were men with a mighty deal of intellect above their ears. The Dululh Herald says that Dan Shumway, a notorious rough, killed at Moorhead two weeks ago, was buried face downward with a pack of cards iu his hand. An aged gentleman, at Chariton, Iowa, attempted suicide by hanging, but his family cut him down ; where upon ho took tho ropo and administer ed a general flagellation. Tho editor of tho Rcedsbtirg Press refers to the occurrence of a "little fe nialo incident" at his houso which prevented his attention to business. Elderly Chicago women held a muss meeting to complain that tho pretty receive prompt nid from tho commit tees, while plainer are left to sutler. Thousands of acres of sugar beets aro being planted iu the vicinity of - ill . i. : . 1'ict'jiui i, in., tins year. A man at Bloomington, III., scalped another tho other day merely to show how it was done. One man and his sou in Wiuuecoune, Wis., have slaughtered oVXIl niuskruts in two months. Tho llanisljurg car works, recently destroyed by fire, aro being rapidly rebuilt. A Western editor called Alexis tho noble "Russ." The printer made it "Ku-s." Extensive had mines are leiug i pencil in I'tnh. 9