The Forest Republican. (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, September 12, 1871, Image 1

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OIHce In Knox's Dulldlng, Kln Street
TERMS, $2.00 A YEAH..
No Subscriptions rcccivod for a Bhortcr
period than tliroo months.
Correspondence solicited from nil parts
of the roil 11 try. No notice will betaken of
nuonyiiioUa communication?!.
Marrlagos and PoutU notices insortod
I. O. GhT.
Meot every Wednesday evening, at 4
w. n. dunn, vr. c. t.
M. Yf. TATK, W. H. ''
&Im .Srreer, . TIONESTA. , 2M .
Isaac Ash,
Will practice In the various. CoiirU of
"Forest County. AH business entrusted to
ii care will recoive prou'.pt attention.
W. W. Mason,
ATTORNEY AT IAW. Office on Kim
(Street, above Valnut, Tionesta, Pa.
C W. Gllflllan,
nango Co., Va. tf.
- N. B, Smileyj
ATTORNEY AT LAW, Potroloum Cen
tre, Pa. Will practice lu the several
Court of Forest County, ; ,. 85-ly
.W. P. Mcrcllliolt,
Attorney at Lav.
Jotn. K. Ha Hock,
A TTORNEY AT LAW and Solicitor of
a L. l'ntonta.rxo. oiki J" rencn strcot(opposiie
Koed House) Erie, Pa, Will practice In
tho several stnto Courts and tho United
Ntates Courts. Special attention given to
Hollcltipj: patents for Inventors j Infringe
ments, re-Issue and extension of patents
mrpfully attended to. References: Hon.
James Campbell, Clarion; Hon. John S.
McCalmont, Franklin; II. L. fc A. It.
Richmond, Meudville ; W. E, Lathy. Tl
i onosta. 2 7
, . j Tionesta House.
M- ITTLE, Proprietor, Elm St., Tio-
ncrtu. Pa., at too mouth of the creek,
Mr..-Iltle has thoroughly ronovated the
Tionesta House, and re-furnished it.eoin
plotely. - All who patronise him will le
well entertained at reasonable rates. 20-ly
. Court House, Tionesta, Pa. Just
opened. Everything new and clean and
fresh. The best of liquors kept constantly
on hand. A portion of the public patron
age Is respectfully solicited. , 4-17-ly
Holmes House,
HMONESTA. PA., opposite the Pepot
X C, . Mnlile, Proprietor. Oood Sta
bling connected with tho house. tf.
Syracuse House,
TIPIOUTF, Pa., J. A D Maoer, Prople
tors. The house has been thoroughly
refitted and is now in tho first-class order,
with the best of accommodations. Any
n format ion concerning Oil Territory at
this point will bu cheerfully furnished,
-ly J. Al). MAUKR,
Exchange Hotel,
DEKL A Son Prop's. This bouse having
beenreliled is now t lie most desirable stop
ping piaco in imiouio. a gooa isiinaru
uin atiacneu, 4-ly
National Hotel,
TRVINETON, PA. W. A. Ilallonbaek,
Proprietor. This hotel is New, and is
ow open as a first claa house, situate at
tie junction of tho Oil Creek A Allegheny
liver and Philadelphia A Erie Railroads,
fiposite tho Depot. Parties having to lay
ver trains will find this the most conven
nt hotel in town, with first-class accotn
ooda lions and reasonable charges. tf.
' II. 12. 7IOK11LS,
I .a to of Brady's Bond, has located in
Tionesta, ami is prepared to do all kinds ol
work in the line of repairing .
Clocks, Watches, Jewelry, &o.,
In good style and warrantod to give satis
faction. Watches, Jewelry, Ac, will be
left in cure of 1. H. Knox, who will be re
sponsible for their safe return.
13-ly. t K. E. MORRIS.
Corner of Church and Elm Streets,
TioisriirsT, t?j.
. This firm is prepared to do all work In
its line, and will warrant everything done
at their shops to givo satisfaction. Par
ticular attention given to
Jive them atrial, and you will not re
gret it. 13-ly.
Tionestu, Forest Co., I'm,
This Bank transacts a General Banking,
Collecting and Exchange Iiiisiness,
Drafts on tho Principal Cities of the
Vni'ed States and Europe bought and sold.
(old and Silver Coin and liovHrnment
Securities bought and sold. 7-30 liouds
converted on the most favorable terms.
Interest allowed ou time deposit.
Mar. 4, tf.
SU BSC ill HE for the Forest Republioro
Jt will pay.
"Let us have Faith
VOL. IV. NO. 23.
Dr. J. L. Aconb,
had fifteen vears' exoerlence in a larire
and successful practice, will attend all
Professional Calls. Office In his Drug and
CJrocery Store, located in Tldloute, near
Tidionte House.
A fti.ll assortment of Medicines, Liquors
Toljacco, Cigars, Stationery, fflass, Paints,
Oils, Cutlery, and fine Groceries, all of the
b':st quality, and will be sold at reasonable
r ates.
H. R. BUROESS, an experienced Drug
itlst from New York, has charge of the
Store. All prescriptions put up accurately.
Tim Sons & Co.'s
NEW ENGINES. The undersigned have
for sale and will receive ordors for the
above Engine. Messrs. Tiflt Sons A Co.
are now sending to this market their 12
llorso 1'owor Engine with U-Horse Power
Holler peculiarly adapted to deep wells.
OKricus at Duncan A Chalfant's, dealers
In Well Fixtures, Hardware, Ae., Main St.
next door to Chase House, I'leasantville,
and at Mansion House, Titusville.
tf. K. HKETT A SON, Agents.
Jos. Y. Saul,
PRACTICAL Harness Maker and Sad
dlor. Three doors north of Holmes
House, Tionesta, Pa. All work is war
rantod. tf.
DR. J. N. BOLARD, f-f Tldloute, has
roturnsd to his practice after an ab
sence of four months, spent in the Hospi
tals of New York, whore h will attend
calls in his profession.
twice in .Eureka urug store, Scl floor
ibove tho bank, Tidioute, Pa. 4Jtf
at the Store of
D. S. KNOX, fc CO.,
Elm St., ioncsta Va.
We are In daily receipt o, th argestand
which we aro determined to sell regardless
of prices.
House Furnishing Goods, Iron, Kails,
Machine tools, Agricultural Implements,
Ac., Ac,, Ac, which we offer at greatly re
duced prices.
of all kinds,
ES, Ac, Ac, Ac,
In ENDLESS VARIETY. Call and see,
7-tf D. S. KNOX, A CO.
Triumphs off Enterprise,
A New Book, 700 octavo pages, well
Illustrated, intensely interesting, and very
instructive. Exclusive territory given.
Our Terms are the most Liberal. Apply
to us. and see if they are not. A. S
HALE A CO., Hart tor J, Conn.
NEW YORK STORE, Centre Street,
that Right make3 Might; and
The fact that 'civilty costs nothing'
is probably the secret of its unfushiona
bleness. A thing that every one can
have, few think worth havine.
Men of Industry, of integrity, of
respectable intellectual gilw, are met
at every turn ; but your purely civil
man is rara avis. We are not speak
ing of people in their social relations,
but in their intercourse with the out
side world. Many men, who are every
thing that is genial and courteous in
the home circle, become cold, brusque
or irritable the moment they enter
their counting-rooms, offices, places of
business, or labor, or whatever else it
may be. The playful, indulgent pater
famtiiat of half an hour before, sudden
ly changes into a surly ogre, who Bnaps
up his little palefacad clerk as is lie
would make a supplementary break
fast of him. Under such a master it
is no wonder that the clerk in turn
finds it impossible to be civil to any
stranger whom the chance of business
may throw in his way.
As a general thing clerks in mercan
tile houses do not stand in need of un
gracious examples. Much dealing
with complicated Accounts seem to
sour the disposition. Fractions beget
fractiousness. If you desire a tine
healthy specimen of irritability, take
an ancient book-keeper at the time be
is making out his balance Bheet, and
ask him the slightest question not con
nected with his calculations. But fur
all people engaged in strictly sed
entary occupations one should make
a generous allowance.
Men who hold positions which bring
them into contact with the public, and
place tho public to a certain extent at
their mercy, have no right to be any
thing but civil. The ticket-master at
the railroad statiion has no right to
snub you because you do not happen
to know on which track your train is.
The conductor has no right to regard
you with a look of disdain mingled
with commiseration when you ask him
the name of the next station. You
were not born ou the road, and if
your interrogation convinces him that
you are a natural idiot, he ought to
respect your misfortune, and not be
try it to the other passengers. The
hack man who gloomily awaits you at
the terminus of the journey has no
rig'it to hustle you as if you were a
part of your baggage. The hotel clerk
the natural humility of whose disposi
tion lies buried under that monumen
tal diamond pin, has no right to treat
you as an inferior. Yet who that has
traveled has not met all these forms of
iucivilty? This, to be sure, is only
one side of the story. The traveler is
almost as likely to be exasperating as
the employee of the road or the clerk
of the hotel. But then the traveler
is not paid for being civil, and the oth
er gentlemen are.
It costs so little and is worth so
mucbl A young clerk with civility
already has a stock of goods of his
own. Regarded as mere policy, it is
the next best thing to honesty ; and,
like honesty, it is good for its own
sweet self. An uncivil man is neces
sarily a discontented man a discom
fort to himself. We beg leave to add
a new sentiment to the copy-hook of
the period : Be civil, and you will be
At a recent spiritual sitting in this
city there was present a woman mourp
ing the loss of tier consort ; and, o. the
manifestations began to respond, the
spirit of the departed Benedict ap
peared upon the scone. Of course the
wilow was now anxious to engage in
conversation with the absent one, and
the following dialogue ensued : Wid
ow "Are you hi the spirit-world f"
The Lamented "I ' am," Widow
How long have you been there ?" The
Lamented "Of some time I" Widow
"Don't you want to come back and
be with your lonely wife?" Tho La
mented "Not if I know myself I It's
hot enough hero."
"Maria," said a lady to a colored
chamber-maid, "that's the third silk
dress you have worn since you have
come to me; pray how many do you
own?" "Only seven, missis; but
I'se savin' my wages to buy anoder 1"
"Seven 1 what use are seveu silk dre&set
to you T why, I don't own so many as
that." "'Spect not, missis," said the
smiling darkey, "you doesn't need 'em
so much as I does. You see, you qual
ity folks everybody knows is quality j
but we bettermost kind of cullud pus
sons has to dress smart to distinguish
ourselves from common niggers."
Tho Lowell Courier tells this story
of a feline act of affection which oc
curred at St. John's lospital, in that
city. "A hen was sitting on a nest of
duck's eggs, and just before the duck
lings should have appeared she died.
A maternal tabby belonging to the es
tablishment, who is check by jowl with
the poultry, at onco took the old hen's
place, and sat out the time of incuba
tion as faithfully as though she had
been a 'side judge,' bringing out a fine
brood of ducks."
Hammerfest, Norway, is the most
northern towu of Europe where a news
p u per is published. It is a weekly,
and is entitled Vinmnrlepoftm.
in that Faith let us to the end,
A Young Wife's Experience..
I was hurrying around the house
this morning, doing up my extra Sat
urday work as quickly as possible, that
I might sit down with Henry, who was
kept home by the violent storm ; when
suddenly I heard Henry call me from
the sitting room. I found him looking
as I had never seen him before, ana
Aunt Minerva rather abashed. Henry
drew me down on the lounge by his
side, and, putting his arm around me,
said, "Now, Aunt Minerva, please re
peat what you have jiiBt said to me."
She tried to speak, but the words re
fused to come. She was such a picture
of confusion that I really felt sorry for
her. At length, find ing that she could
not or would not speak, Henry turned
to me, and said, "Annie, Aunt Minerva
has been telling me that you are so
extravagant in your cooking, and in
some other ways, that you will soon
exhaust my means. And this is not
the first time she has complained of
you in this underhanded way. I have
never replied, thinking that she would
perceive from ray manner that I would
not attend to such talk; but the last
time it occurred, I resolved that the
next time I would call you in direct
ly." And then, turning to Aunt Mi
nerva, he went on : "Whatever fault
you have to find with Annie herevfler,
must be done in her presence. She and
I are both young, and make no pro
fessions of perfection. We are faulty,
and are striving together against our
defects. But I have conGdence in An
nie's judgment, and do not think she
will go far astray in housekeeping mat
ters. She may feel that I nave the
most entire confidence in her iu every
respect, and that I will never allow any
one to even attempt to prejudice me
against her." At this stage of our
first domestic storm, Aunt Minerva
summoned courage to say: "Well, I
must say you are making a great fuss
about a little matter of advice." Hen
ry replied, "It is not a little matter of
advice ; the saddest case I ever knew
of estrangement between husband and
wife was brought about by just such
interference as yours. I knew of it
when quite a boy, and the circum
stances made a very deep impression
on my mind. The husband aud wife
were good people, and truly attached
to euch other ; but the husband had a
sister, of whom he was very fond, and
at length gave heed to her jealous whis
perings iu regard to his wife. For
many years they were unhappy. A
time ot reconciliation and better un
derstanding came, and the wife had
some years of comparative rest and
happiness before her death, dimmed to
a great extent, howover, by the recol
lection of the undeserved misery which
she had endured for so many years.
Annie cannot,of course, expect to spend
a life free from trials, but, God helping
me, she shall never suffer from want of
confidence and love iu me."
This scene has drawn Henry and
myself very near to each other; aud it
baa made me very sorry for poor, dis
contented, short-sighted Aunt Mi ver va.
Herald of Health.
A lecturer on the "moral senti
ments" in Philadelphia remarked that
the "dearest ship in. the world was
friendship," whes a young man rose
from amouj the congregation and
stated he knew auother a dearer
jhip still -and that was courtship.
I he young man had once been a de
fendant for a breach of promise of
Several members of the Forty-first
Congress are still prowling around
Washington in search of something to
do. They are willing to do almost
anything for a living. At any rate it
would seem so from the fact that one
of tbem, it is said, has applied tor the
eituation of husband to Anna Dickin
son. At a certain ho'tel iu Ohio a large
mirror i placed at the entrance of the
diuip-hail, which is so constructed
that you teeyouself a thiu, cadaverous,
huugry person, but when you come
nut from the table, and look again iu
the glass, your body is distended in the
extremity of corpulance.
A naughty little boy, blubbering
because his mother wouldn't let him
go down to the liver on the Subbath,
upon being admonished, said: "I
didn't want to goaswimmiu' with 'em,
ma. I only wanted to go down and
see the bad little boys drowu forgoing
a swimmin' on Sunday.
Why are women like churches?
Firstly, because there is no living with
out one; secondly, because there is
many a-spire to them ; thirdly, because
they are objects of adoration ; aud
lastly, but by no means leastly, be
cause they have a loud clapper iu their
upper story.
A Dutchman married a second wife
in about a week after the death num
ber one. The Sabbath following the
bride asked her lord to take her rid
ing, and was duly "cut up" with the
following response: "You think I iide
out with anoder woman so so.iu alter
the death of mine i'ruu ? No, no !"
Water Commissioner Beymtr, in
fur two years, is ft residjntot Oakland
and a leud-iug mau iu white lead man
ufacture. I
dare do our duty as we understand it"--LINCOLN.
Judging by Appearance.
Some years ago there arrived at the
Cataract House, Niagara Falls, an odd
looking man, whose appearance and
deportment were quite in contrast with
the crowds of well-dressed and polish
ed figures which adorned that celebrat
ed resort. He seemed to have just
sprung from the woods; his dress,
which was made of leather, stood
dreadfully in need of repair, apparent
ly not having felt the touch of a needle
for many a long month. A worn-out
blanket, that might have served for a
bed, was buckled to his shoulders; a
large knife hung on one side, balanced
by a long rusty tin box on the other,
and his beard uncropped, tangled and
coarse, fell down upon his bosom as if
to counterpoise the weight of the thick
dark locks that supported themselves
on his back and shoulders. This be
ing, strange to the spectators, seeming
ly half civilized, half savage, pushed
his steps into the sitting-room, unstrap
ped his little burden, quietly looked
around for the landlord and modestly
asked fur breakfast. The host at first
drew back with evident repugnance to
receive this uncouth form among gen
teel visitors, but a few words whisper
ed in his ear satisfied hitn, and the
stranger took his place in the compa
ny, some shrugging their shoulders,
some staring, some laughing outright.
Yet there was more in that one man
than in the whole company. He had
been entertained with distinction at
the tables of princes ; learned societies,
to which the like of Cuvier belonged,
had bowed down to welcome his pres
ence; kings had been complimented
when he spoke to them. In short, he
was one whose fame will be growing
brighter when the fashionables who
laughed at him, and much greater than
they, shall have been forgotten. From
every hill-top aud deep, shadowy grove,
the birds, those blossoms of the air,
will sing his name. The little wren
will pipe it with ber matin hymn ; the
oriole carol it from the slender grasses
of the medow; the turtle dove roll it
through the secret forests ; the many
voiced mocking bird pour it along the
air, and the imperial eagle, the bird
of Washington, as he sits far upon the
blue mountains, will scream it to the
tempest and to the stars. He was
Johu J. Audubon, ornithologist.
In New York the question of the
legality of Sunday marriages is excit-
tug consiaeraoie attention in legat as
well as clerical minds. There seems
to be about an equal division of both
parties in this important matter. It is
a legal civil contract, and that legal
civil contracts are illegal if made ou
the Sabbath, it is void if performed on
this day. An interesting test case, is
now peuding in Rochester, N. Y. A
millionaire died there recently, and will
ed all his property to the children of
his second wife, disinheriting two of
his own children. The roarrige was
performed on Sunday. It is not clear
how this will work if the decision be
agaiust Sunday marriages, but some
lawyers believe that in such a case the
will could and would be bioken. If
the court decides that marriages are
invalid if performed on this day, no
doubt many more interesting and point
ed cases will arise. Lawyers will grow
fat on contested rights of property,
while in ordinary divorco they would
not pay their rent. But no decent
court will decide against the legality
of pure marriage.
A farmer in Northampton county,
while plowing last week, exhumed the
skeleton of a gigantic mau. It hud
evidently Iain in the earth for many
years, and it is believed to have be
longed to some member of an ancient
tribe of Indians. The farmer has ad
vertised it in all the papers, but up to
this. time, the owner baa not called to
claim it. If this should meet his eye,
he is requested to call at once aud re
move the bones. Men ought to be
very careful how they leave their skel
etons around in this manner, even if
they dou't feel as if they wanted them
in hot weather. It would be very un
pleasant, for instance, if somebody had
stolen portions of this Indian's frame
work, and he had been carried down
in a pillowcase to hear the minstrels,
and had seeu the end man who plays
tho bones up there rattling his Indian
ribi together iu the interval between
the conundrums. No aboriginal war
riar with any self-respect could wish to
suffer such mortification as that.
There is a woman in Sayder county
who is too much of a utillitariau to be
regarded with sentimental admiration.
When her husband died it seema that
she had him buried without his shin
bones, which were extracted and Bent
around to be worked up into knifo
handles aud suspeuder buttons, so that
she could go to housekeeping properly
when she married the second time. It
really seems as if some women must
have an object around which to clniti r
thesweet aud tender memories of the
past. There is a love that lives to
vond tho grave, and fimU joy even in
Lone-buttons and knife-handles.
In Bostonjfoundling hospitals are
styled "Refuges for anouymous human
ity ;" in Chicago, "Ranches foj chil
dren born on the European Jrvv
The Humbug offarly Rising.
All this talk about early rising is
moonshine. The habit of turning out
of bed in the middle of the night suits
some people ; let them enjoy it. But
it is only folly to lay down'a general
rule upon the subject. Some men are
fit for nothing all day after they have
risen early every morning. Their en
ergies are deadened, their imaginations
are heavy, their spirits are depressed.
It is said you can work so well in the
morning. Some people can, but others
can work best at night; others again,
in the afternoon. Long trial and ex
periment form the only conclusive
tests upon these points. As forgetting
up early because Professor Gammon
has written letters to the papers prov
ing the necessity of it, let no one be
goose enough to do it. We all know
the model man, aged eighty t "I in
variably rise at 5 ; I work three hours,
take a light breakfast namely, a
cracker and a pinch of salt work five
hours more; nevcrsmoko, never drink
anything but barley-water, eat no din
ner, and go to bed at 6 in the evening."
If anybody finds that don key tied sort
of life suit him, by all means let him
continuo it. But few people would
care to live to eighty on those terms. If
a man can not get all withered aud
crumpled up on easier conditions thmi
those, it is almost as woll that he
should depart before he is n nuisance
to himself and a bore to everybody
else. School boys aud young people
generally, ought to get up early, for it
is found that nine-tenths of tbcm can
stand it, and it docs them good. But
let no man torture himself with the
thought that he could have been twice
as good a man as he is if he had risen
every morning at daylight. The hab
it would kill half of us in less than
five years. Ar. J'. Time.
The other day we heard of a school
teacher who killed herself for love of
a boy thirteen years old, and now
comes an account of a man in Mis
sissippi, who blew out his brains be
cause bis laundress left his shirt button
ed at the collar and sent it to him in that
outrageous condition. Poor old Mr.
Hopkins, tottering on the verge of
ninety years, got his bead into the
body of the shirt and his arms into
the sleeves, and thus struggled for
awhile against fate and buttons. He
became frightfully enraged, cursed and
foamed at the mouth, and at last, when
the linen gave way, rushed for his gun,
seated himself on the edge of his ned,
placed the stock of the weapon so that
lie could pull the trigger with his toe,
brought the inuzale to his chin, pulled,
and blew his head off. Can that laun
dress be said to bo morally rcsposible
for his act?
Tapioca is recommended as a cheap
er and more nutritous article of food
than even potatoes and rice. The cul
tivation of the miininc plant in India,
from the root of which tnpiocs is mode
as starch is from potatoes, is rapidly
extending. Its advantages are that it
grows iu almost any soil, requiring
but little labor, and, after tho first
month, but little moisture. It ; vtry
productive, aild '.a easily prepared for
consumption. The Indian government
have taken measures to test the merits
of the plant, but as tho food it yields
is almost exclusvcly of the starchy or
fat-producing character, and contrib
utes little or nothing to the formation
of muscle, it is difficult to see what
benefit would be derived from increas
ing its use.
A writer in on j of our city papers
believes that boiler explosions are
caused somehow or other by electricity,
and, to prove the truthfulness of his
theory, he asks us to ohservo there
are never any such explosions while
the aurora bnrealis shines. We do
not profess to understand how the au
rora borealis induces the boilers to
hold in, but one thing is certain ; that
if this man's ideas are correct, congress
ought either to make arrangements
for a perpetual aurora borealis, or else
compel men who have boilers never to
use them excepting wheu there is an
aurora around.
The following anecdote was given at
the Edwards Reunion, in illustration
of the abyentmindedness of the great
Jonathan Edwards: Atone tirao he
rode after the cows, and a little boy
very respectfully bowed and opei
the gate for bun. "Whose 'o0y are
you, my little man?" "loaa Clark's
boy, sir." Ou his return with the cows
the same boy appeared aud opened tho
gate for him.' Edwards tlnmkid tho
little fellow, aud ttaked : "Who.' boy
are you ?" "The same man's boy I wus
a quarter of an hour ug', tir."
A few days ngo a young gentleman
and lady from the rural districts vis
ited Somerset, Pa., to get married.
The young couple entered the town on
this festive occasion atrii!e of one
horse. They dismounted, had their
horse fed, partook of a sumptuous re
past consisting of crackers, were then
united in the holy bonds of niutrimo
uy by a justice of the puiee, wheu they
again mounted their stied and weuded
their way to their nouutain ho we
amid the cheers of the populace.
Evening papers are called.vespertil
in organs in Chicago.
Ratos of Advertising;'
One Sqnare (1 Inch,) one Insertion It BO
One Square " nne monlli 00
One Kquare . " three months... fl Of
OnoHqiinre " one year ...10 on
Two Squares, one year 15 W
quarter CoL " 5W 09
Half " " AO 00
One " " 100 00
Business Cards, not exceeding one lack
In length, f 10 per year,
Legal notices at established rates.
These rates are low, and no deviation
rlll be made, or discrimination among
patrons. The ratos offered are such, sji
will make It to the advantgoof men dot,
business In tho limits of the circulation of
the paper to advertise liberally.
How Much did he Lose.
A New York gentleman at dinner
ou board a Cunard steamer laid a wa
ger with the captain that he could uot
give him a correct answer, within a
minute, to the following question: "A
Yankee rushed into a bootmaker's
store, i n Broad wa v, "Here, 1 ook sh arp 1'
cried be, "just of!' for California ship
sail in half an hour want a pair of
boots look alive!" Down tumbled
the boots off the shelves, from which
he was soon fitted. "How much?"
"Five dollars." "Give me change for
this fifty dollar bill sharp quick."
The bootmaker, not having change,
rushed to ft money-changer. "Quick,
give me change for this fifty dollar
bill passenger just off to California!"
And in a few minutes away ran the
Yankee with his boots and his chango
off to ' California, of course. In
about an hour afterwards the money
changer came down to the bootmaker.
Halloa t see," quoth he, "this is a bad
bill ; pay me down fifty dollars at
once" which the poor fellow, much
disgusted, had to do. Now, how much
did the bootmaker lose?
A new style of torpedo has been in
troduced in Philadelphia, to be sold
with other harmless fireworks, which is
one of the best arrangments for pre
venting a superfluity of children ever
thought of. It is the size, shape and
color of a sugar-plum, and being mis
taken for such by a small boy, the oth
er day, came very near blowing the
top of his head off, and loft, as it was,
an impression which will disfigure him
for life.
A well-known officer in Auld Reekie
was celebrated for his cunning and wit.
His mother having died in Edinburgh,
he hired a hearse and carried her to
the family burial place in the High
lands, lie returned, it is said, with,
the hearse full of smuggled whisky,
and being abused about it by a friend,
he said, "Wy, man, there's no ham
done. I only took awa' the body and
brought back the spirit."
Last week there was a report that at
Newport a French Count had eloped
with the wife of a New York gentle
man. The news went to New York,
and within twenty four hours, it is said
over one hundred desperate individ
uals came on suddenly, to see their
wives at that fashionable watering
place. What au eihibhiouttf conjugal
A schoolmaster who asked asked a
small pupil of what the surface of the
earth consists and waa answered
"land and water," varied the question
slightly that the fact might be impress
ed on the boy's mind, and asked,
" land aud water make?"
to which came the immediate re
sponse, "Mud."
The Lord Chancellor of Great
Britian was made the medium of a
Sunday School presentation to the
Princess Louise, recently. The pres
ent was a Bible, given by the Suuday
School children of the United King
dom, and on its acceptance the princess
made a charming li::!? speech.
A gentleman of Connecticut, who is
something of a sportsman, went to
aleep in church on one of the late
warm Sundays, dreamed he was hunt
ing rabbits. During an eloquent pas
sage in the sermon he espied in his
drcutn a rabbit, and startled the con
gregation by shouting "There he goes."
One Sunday recently a minister
in Iowa advised the sisters to mortify
Satan by giving their jewelry to the
Church on the next Sabbath evening.
The result was a galvanized watch aud
three brass finger-rings. "They are a
mean set of sinners," said the parson,
"It's a desp'rt thing," said old Joe
Smykers; "a desp'rt thing! That 'ere
young couple who've beeu billin' and
cooiu,' aud makiu' eyes at one another
for a mouth, have now gone to the
minister and got a permit to see if they
can't keep it up for a lifetime?"
An anecdote is told of a young lady
of Harrisburg, who was recently on a
ridinz excursion. The horse com
menced kicking, when she, in the most
simple manner, requeued hercomnan;
ion to gei oui -.ud Hold LSne'a leg
Vl --oni, mjuro e vehicle
The Memphis Appeal sa.ya: "As the .
coo', weather may be expected in a few
weeks preparations are. being made for
a vigorous religious campaign iu our
churches this I all." For tho sake of
Memphis, we ask for cool weather.
Mrs. Julia Ward Howe, Miss Char,
lotto CuBhman, Fanny Fern, Colonel
Higgiuson, James l'urton, and other
literary eople have joined hauils in a
picnic club which mecU onco a week
at Newport.
"I say, Jones, that's a shocking bad
hat of yours. Why do you wear such
a hideous thing?" "Because, my deah
fellah, Mrs. Jones declares she will
not go out of the house with mo till 1
gut a better one."
A Dubuque hasband out off his
wile's hair w heu she woj asleep, and
purchased a jug of whisky with it.
An unpoetical youth described, hia
fiancee' hair as fii.ileJ iu front, ajidj
frjeaatced and scrambled at the Wck.