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IS PUBLISHED EVEflT TUH8DAY, BT
W. R. DUNN.
3ffloe In Krtox's Building Eln Street
tme square " one month aw
One Square " throe mouths... W
One Square " one yoar 10 00
Two Squares, one year Is 0e
quarter coi. " - ow
Half " " sa i
One " " 100
TERMS, $2.00 A TEAR.
No Subscriptions received for a' shorter
period than throe months.
Correspondence solicited from all parts
of the country. No notice will be taken of
. Marrlagoa and Death notices Inserted
Business Cards, not exoeeding one look
in length, $10 per year.
".Let us have Faith that Right makes Might ; and in that Faith let us to the end, dare do our duty as we understand it"--LINCOLN.
Legal notices at established rates.
These rates are low, and no deviation
will be imvle, or discrimination among
VOL. IV. NO. 10.
TIONESTA, PA., TUESDAY, JUNE 6, 1871.
patrons. The rales offered are such, ns
will make It to the advantage of men dot. g
bwiinosn in the limits of the circulation of
$2 PER ANNUM.
tbe paper to advertise liberallv.
TION EST A LODGE i NO. 477,
x. o. a-, t.
ft feet every Wednesday evening, at (
W. R. DUNN, W. 0. T.
1C. W. TATE, W. 8.
, BBWTOll UTTIS. MILKS W. TAT.
PKTTIS A TATE,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
Atmmr4tt, TIONESTA, PA.
ATTORNEY AT LAW, Oil City, Pa.
Will practice in'tbe various Courts of
forest County. AH business entrusted to
hi cars will receive prompt attention.
W. w. Mason,
TTORNKT AT I-AW. Office on Elm
L Street, above Walnut, Tionesta, Pa.
C. W. Gllfillan,
TTORNET AT LAW, Franklin, Te
L nango Co., Pa. tf.
N. B. Smiley,
ATTORN KT AT LAW, Petroleum Cen
tre, Pa. Will practice in the several
Courts of Korest County, S6-ly
OnONKSTA, PA., opposite the Depot
i. C. D. Mable, Proprietor. Good Sta
Wing connected with the house. tf.
Jos. T. Saul,
PRACTICAL Harness Maker and Sad
dler.' Throe doors north of Holmes
:Hoaae, Tionesta, Pa. All work la war
vpiDIOUTR, Pa., J. D Maoick, Prople
X tors. The bouse has lmrn thoroughly
refitted and I now la the ft rut-class order,
dtith the riest of accommodations. Any
nformation concerning Oil Territory at
uns point will oe cneerniuv lurniHiien.
Vly . J. il. MAUEK,
; Exchange Hotel,
T'OWlCR TIDIOUTR. Pa.. D.'S. Rams
Lj bbc C A Ho!f Prop's. This house having
been rented is now the moat desirable stop
ping place in Tidloute. A good Billiard
'Kooia attached. - 4-ly
. TR YIN ETON. PA. W. A. nallenback
Proprietor. This hotel is New, and la
.BW open as a first class house, situate at
ne J unction of the Oil Creek A Allegheny
. Jtlver and Philadelphia A Erie Railroads,
-pposite the Depot. Partiee having to lay
ver trains will nna tnis me roost oonven
ent hotel in town, with first-class aooom
nodations and reasonable charges, tf.
Tifft Sons Co.'s
fEW ENGINES. The undersigned have
l for sale ana will receive orders tor the
Above Kmrine. Mesars. Tiftl Sons A Co.
. are now sending to this market their 12
Horse Power Kugine with U-Horse Power
Boiler peculiarly adapted to deep wells.
Okkicks at Duncan A Chalfant a, dealers
in Well Pictures, Hardware, Ac, Main Ht.
Best door to Cbsse House, Pleasantville,
i and at Mansion i tonne, Titusviue.
tf. K. BRETT A SON, Agents,
John K. Hallock,
TTORNEY AT LAW and Solicitor of
A Patenta,No. 605 French street(opposUe
f Head House) Erie, Pa. Will practice in
- . theaoverai State Courts and the United
(States Courts. Npecial attention given to
soliciting patents for Inventora : lnfrinire-
meuts, re-issue and extension of patents
arsiuuy attended to. iteloronces: Hon.
James Campbell, Clarion: Hon. John S.
McCalmont, Franklin: II. L. A A. B.
Richmond, Meadville; W. E. Lathy. Ti-
vnesia. a i
Dr. J. L. Aconyb,
PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON, who has
had fifteen years' experience in a large
and successful practice, will attend all
Professional Calls. Office in his Drug and
Grocery Store, located in Tidioute, near
IN HI8 STORE WILL BE FOUND
A full assortment of Medicines. LInuors
Tobacco. Cigars. Stationery, (ilass. Paints,
Oils, Cutlery, and fine Uroeeries, all of the
best quality, and will be sold at reasonable
H. R. BURGESS, an experienced Druir
alat from New York, has charge of the
store. All prescriptions put up accurately,
HT, P. Mercllllott,
Attorney at JL w
HEAL, ESTATE AG EXT.
JOHN A. OALt, PMI'T.
HN A. PROPER, VICI lRCT. A. H. STCU.I, CASH,
Tionesta, Forest Co., Pa.
This Bank transact a General Banking,
Collecting and Exchange Buxineas.
Drafts on the Principal Cities of the
United Statos and Europe bought and sold.
Gold and Silver Coin and Government
Securities bought and sold. 7-30 Bonds
converted on the most favorable terms.
Interest allowed ou time deposits.
Mar. 4, tf.
DR. J. N. BOLARD, of Tidioute, has
returned to his practice after no ab
sence of four months, spent iu the Hospi
tals of New York, where )te will attond
calls in his profusion.
Office in Eureka Drug Storo, Sd door
auove mo nun, nuioute, ra, wti
Homothing urgently needed by everybody
Call and examine, or samples sent postage
puKl tor so els tnul retail easily lor jiu. it.
J.' Wulcott, 1M1 Chathnn Sq., W. x. 4o-4t
TEAVNESH, Catarrh and Scrofula. A
I J iady wlio had suffcrod for years from
Icufiie, Calarrh and Scrofula, was cured
by a himple remedy. Her sympathy and
griitituile prompts her to send the receipts
free of charge tv anv one Hiiullarly afflict
e l. Aildrean Mrs. M. C. Deggutt, JerKey
Tirv, N. J. 4i-U
at the.Store of
D. S. KNOX, Ic CO.,
Elm St., itnuU I.
We art In dally receipt oi th axgsstaad
MOST COMPLETE stosk
EVER BROUGHT TO THIS MARKET
BOOTS & SHOES !
whieh we are determined to sell regardless
House Furnishing Geods, Iron, Nails,
Machine tools, Agricultural Implements,
Ac, Ac,, Ac, which we offer at greatly re
FURNITURE ! FURNITURE 1 1
of all kinds,
ES, Ac, Ac, Ac.
In ENDLESS VARIETY. CaU and see,
7-tf D. 8. KNOX, A CO.
A GENTS WANTKD FOR THE
XV LIBRARY OF POETRY AND
BONO. The handsomest aud cheapest
work extent. It has something in it of the
best for every one, tor the old, the middle-aged
and the young and must become
universally popular. Excepting the Bible
tills will be the book most loved and the
most frequently referred to In the family,
Every page has passed under the critical
eye oi me great poet,
WM. CULLEN BRYANT.
Bare chance for best agents. The only
book of its kind ever sold by subscription.
Bona at once tor circulars, c., to
rcuvi nr icrriu x..i.tii..
30-4t 719 Sansora (St., Philadelphia, Pa.
SEASON OF 1870-71.
MASON & HAMLIN CABINET
Important Improvemen s.
Patent June 21st and August 23d, 1870.
REDUCTION OF PRICES.
The Mason A Hamlin Organ Co., have
the pleasure of announcinglinportant im
provements in their Cabinet Organs, for
which Patents were granted them in June
and August last. These are not merely
meretricious attachments, butenhance tho
substantial excellence of the lustruments.
They are also enabled bv increased faeil
lties a large new manufactory, they hope
hereafter to supply all orders promptly.
. The Cabinet Organa made by thia Com
pany are of such universal reputation, not
only throughout America, but also in Eu
rope, that few will need asauranee of their
They now offer Four Octave Cabinet Or
gans, in quite plain cases.but equal accord
ing to their capacity to anything they make
lor .u eacn.
. The same. Double Reed. $65. Five Oc
tave Double Reed Organs, Five Stops,with
Knee swell and Tremulant, in elegant case
wnn several or tne jviason ana liainlin
improvements, flZS. The same Extra
with new Vox Humana, Automatio Swell
etc.. $150. Five Octaves, three sets Roods.
seven stops with Euphoue; a splendid in
A new illustrated catalogue with full
Information, and ropuced prices, is now
ready, and will be sent free, with a testi
monial circular, presenting a great mass of
eviuence as to tne superiority ot tnese in
struments, to any one semlinghis address
to MASON A HAMLIN OHtiAN CO., 154
1 remont (Street, Uuston, os atio Broadway,
a. i. 30 ti
By Rkv. T. Dk Witt Talm auk.
The most Popular Preacher in America.
AOlll TIlfcOW oi rij T lit. L, I, IttlU V I .u-
nial. to sell this ereat work, is better than
Mark Twain, and no trouble to sell. Big
J'rolitH. hiciul lor terms ana liiumratea i a
nage circular, Kvaun, Sloildiirt A Co. Pub.
(lfeliei'M, fvo, liv sausoni I nuaaeijuua.
Susan Llppe; or the Lawsnit.
"I toll you what it is, ral," said old
Mr. Linoe to his daughter Susan. "I'm
determined never tohevaedicated fel
ler for my eon-in-law ; that's a fixed
"Cut, father," said Susan, "educa
tion don't make or unmake a man any
more than riches do. It's the soul, the
principle, that constitutes a man."
" W ery true, Susan, rejoined daddy
Lippe, "and I've found precious little
principle in college-bred fellers. I tell
yon that I've got along well enough,
and alius made my mark." As the
old man said this his eye roved out of
the windew over his broad and well-
imnroved homestead witk a glint of
Susan's father was no exception to
men of his class, who, when they im
bibe an idea, are pig-headed in their
adherance to it Susan understood
this trait ef her father's, and letting
the argument drop, relapsed into si
lence. While old Mr. Lippe entertained
such notions of letters, and, by the
way, was always taking pains to inform
everybody concerning them, he had
deviated somewhat with respect to his
only child, Susan, who had improved
tbe advantages bestowed by an excel
lent public school, situated in Stan
hope, a small village adjoining her
father's farm. Her mind, too, being
naturally of a studious cast, she had
stored it with an unusually large
amount of information, which display
ed itseit in a xenuea conversation and
well-bred vivacity of manners. To
these graces of the intellect was com
bined a beautiful person, and, as a
matter of consequence, her hand was
the coveted prize of more than one
young man in the neighborhood.
Tv the blandishments of the sterner
sex, 'aowever Susan turned a deaf ear.
The young Stanhoppera loved her fath
er's broad acres full as well as they did
his daughter, who, with the quick in
stinct of a woman, penetrated tho
shallowness of their protestations of
love. Besides, there was a young law
yer who had entered suit for her heart
and won his case, while teaching school
a short time previous to his admission
to the bar. It would have been singu
lar if the daughter of obstinate Lippe
had not been equally obistinate in the
constancy of her affection for Henry
Coverdale, her letigitious lover.
Of this attachment, however, daddy
Lippe was blissfully ignorant. He had
never seen young Coverdale, and
that young gentleman being well
aware of the antipathies of his con
templated father-in-law towards school
masters and their ilk, prudently re
frained from visiting Susan at her
home. The accommodations of the
house of a maternal aunt of Susan's,
in Stanhope, were vouchsafed them,
her uncle, a harness-maker, rather
liking, than otherwise, their clandes
tine visits. In this way the lovers
managed to keep the fire on the altar
of their hearts fanned to a bright
flame. Tho impatient Coverdale do
sired to bring his suit to an issue, but
the beautiful Susanwouldlnot consent
to an elopement. With the hope of
modifying ner sire s views on the sub
ject of education, she had introduced
tho theme, with what success as is re
Thai night, after family prayers.
quite an animated colloquy took place
between Susan's parents. The door of
Susan's chamber being aiar.she became
an innocent listener to the conversa
tion, which, as it concerned herself
alone, proved rather interesting. Moth
er Lippe was in Susan's secret, and fa
vored it with all her mielfc
"Now, old man," said she, as that
functionary was covering up the fire,
the last thing before going to bed, "its
downright mean in you to oppose Su
san's ijees about learning. I'm sot not
to hev any ignorant scalawag ' rooting
round arter my darter."
"I rule this roost, responded daddy
"And I'll mako the roost for you,"
rejoined the dame. "Times ain't now
what they was when we was youngsters.
Just think of mating Susan to Mat.
Awl ; or vet to Chris. Gabby, the shoe
maker, who has about as much ef an
ijeo of books as a hog has of meetin."
"There's no mite of use argufying
about it, old woman ; I'm sot.
"And so am I," replied the irate
dame ; "And we'll see who'l sit to the
most purpose. If Susan can't marry
the kind of a man she wants to, she
can stay at homo, and that's the end
With this clincher Mother Lippe
turned her face to the wall, and re
fused to say another word.
In the meantime, Harry Coverdale
was gradually winning his way to emi
nence. As a speaker, he Btood head
and shoulders above any of the young
men, his associates at the bar. The re
sults of his efforts also began to flow
in upon him in a golden stream. Yet,
still ho remained a bachelor, though
many wondered. Still there were no
sigus of old Mr. Lippe relaxing in the
least from his views on "education."
However things were destined to
shape themselves entirely different to
what a mere observer might rcaon
ably hope to expect.
This grew out of Co ver dale's love
for Susan, which now assumed tbe cast
Une day a young man id homespun
farb presented himself at the house of
Ir. Lippe, and inquired if he wanted
to hire a hand on tbe farm.
The old farmer eyed him for some
moments, and finding him remarkably
well favored and knit together, said :
Where are you from r
"I live at Monroe, when at home."
replied the young man.
"Raised on a larm V
"About how much do you want a
Whatever you think is right."
"You'll never get along in the
world, unless you drive a better bar
gain than that," said Mr. Lippe.
"Jlut I'll tell you what I'll do. You
shall work a month for twenty dollars,
and after that, if we suit one another,
we'll bargain for a year.
"Agreed," said the voung man, and
was forthwith installed as hired hand.
As the reader guesses, the hand was
none ether than Henry Coverdale,
who had commenced to put into opera
tion a plan to gain the old man's con
sent to his union with Susan.
Time wagged along. Old Lippe
was mightily pleased with his hired
hand, and often praised him to the
woman folk. Indeed, he looked with
a dree of complacency on his atten
tions to Susan, which began to be
marked, and Coverdale was on the
point of popping the question, when a
circumstance happened as follows :
The farm of Mr. Lippo was a part
of a tract, the title of which had
formerly been in dispute, though it was
in deed and in equity his. Just at
this time one of those land-sharks
that infest the country, raked up a
worthless claim, and entered suit for
This proceeding was so obviously
absurd and rascally, that Mr. Lippe
merely laughed at it, although at the
advice of his hired hand ho appeared
at court to refute the claim, supposing,
however, that his bare word would be
all-sufficient to dispose of the scoun
drel of a land-shark. His hired hand
also concluded to lose the day and go
with him, rn order, he said, "to see
what a judge and court were like."
Old Mrs. Lippe and Susan accom
raoied them for the purpose of mak
ing some purchases, as they could get
better bargains in the county town
than in Stanhope.
Tbe conversation of the family had
placed Henry Coverdale in full pos
session of the facts in the case, and he
had manifested such an interest in the
affair, and appeared to be so anxious
as to the result, that the old man was
not astonished to see him enter the bar
and take a chair by his side. He no
ticed, also, that his dame and Susan
were among the spectators in the
The case was called, and the lawyer
lor the piaintin arose and made out so
plausible a statement that it en raced
the old man dreadfully, so much that
he could scarcely contain himself until
the lawyer concluded.
The moment ho sat down the old
man sprang to his feet.
"See here," exclaimed he. "Here
are deeds, and every man in this court
room knows me well enough to know
that I never got them by rascality, or
claimed more than was justly mine."
"All this may be true, replied the
judge, "but the court demands legal
proof, relative to the points at issue, I
presume you have an attorney. Mr.
"Never said a word to a single one.
I never thought it worth while," said
the old man, perfectly aghast at tho
turn matters were taking.
At this bttge Lippe s hired hand
rose to his feet.
"May it please the court, I will un
dertake the cuse for Mr. Lippe," said
"A pretty case you'll make of it,"
said the old man. "You can plow
corn a wonderful sight better."
"I assure Mr. Lippe that Mr.
Coverdale is perfectly competent to
the task," said the .'udge, who was well
acquainted with tba young lawyer, and
who, though ignorant of his present
relations, fancied he smelt a joke in
the actions of the parties.
"Mebbe your honor is right," said
Mr. Lippe, "bat plague take me, if
you don't fibd him a likely sight bet
ter farm hand than lawyer."
A general titter ran around the bar.
The suit proceeded. The young at
torney having previously mastered the
whole ground, entered into its merits
with such force and clearness as
astonished even the court. But how
shall we paint the surprise of old Mr.
Lippe I It took bim by storm. At
every word of the young lawyer be
seemed to distend with astonishment,
until his amazement was something so
ridiculously appalling as to convulse
the eutire audience with laughter.
Teal after peal resounded, and even
the Ait sides of the judge, forgetting
tbeir gravity, seemed ready to shake
to pieces with merriment.
"Who, who, who are you ?" at last
gasped the old man.
"Isit down. Mr. Linne." said Cover-
! dale. "I am attending to the cuse." !
1 men, Etooj'ing, ne uuibpercu iu 1113
ear : "I am trying to earn Susan."
"she s yours, shouted the old man.
regardless of tho bystanders or the
court, which having now an inkling of
tbe matter, gave a loose rein to their
jubilant feelings. How Susan felt,
however, can be better imagined than
described. She blushed like one of
her mother's peonies, and hastily hid
her face in her veil.
When the merriment had subsided
and old Mr. Lippo had secured his
equanimity, the nappy attorney pro-
rreded. and nnally made so clear a
case for his involuntarily client, as
caused the judge to dismiss the suit.
Tho old man left the court in triumph,
and with his hired hand, proceeded
forthwith to tne clerk s oltice, where a
license was procured. The judge gave
the court a short recess and united the
happy pair in the bonds of matrimony.
Since that event, Mr. Lippe has
changed his views on educational mat
ters. 1 be other day as Judge Cover
dale was leaving home to take his scat
in Congress, he said to his grandson :
"Lippo Coverdale, get your lessons
well, and who knows out what you'll
go to Congress too.
"Who .knows 1" exclaimed the
The Lottery of Life.
The Boston correspondent of the
Chicago Journal tells this story : Five
years ago the wife of one of tne most
prominent men of State street was a
poor seamstress. When she first came
to the city (from Maine) she worked
three weeks before receiving any pay,
and sleeping with one of her shopmates,
she borrowed money and bought bread,
having been refused regular board
without paying in advance. In order
to keep body and soul together, relent
less work employed her all day, and
hours at night demanded that she
should ply tho needle. But the most
cynical of men approve of woman's a
good personal appearance, and this
seamstress finally managed to dress
well and pay the price of a seat in an
up-town church. Her natural beauty,
coupled with a spirit of womanly inde
pendence drew towards ber friends,
aud the result was that she married
one of the wealthiest gentlemen at the
South End, against the wishes of his
ti'cnds, however, who did not like the
idea of his marrying outside of the
circle of wealth. But Cupid cuts up
come curious tricks, sometimes. The
Jioor seamstress is now Bitting in the
ap of affluence, and those who know
her are inclined to envy her good luck
as she comes down town in a carriage
to do her shopping. But this sudden
change in her world y condition has not
made her a bit "stuck up." She not
only drops a tear of sympathy over the
heart-sick condition of the struggling
shop-girl, but italicizes that sympathy
by donations of much cash.
A New Orleans paper tells tho fol
lowing story : One of our coast plan
ters, who has a number of Chinese la
borers in his employ, seeing a exposi
tion on tho part of some of the ne
groes to annoy tho Orientals, and ap
prehending a resort by the latter to
the use of the sharp knives which they
alway wear, cautioned them not to
take law" into their hands, but in case
they were troubled by any negro to
bring the offender before him and he
would see that justice was done. Ac
cordingly one day the planter, while
sitting 011 his gallery, abserved a pro
cession of the Chinamen coming from
the quarter, bearing at tbeir head a
package. Tbe marched with great de
liberation and dignity up to the man
son and laid their burden on tbe gal
lery at the feet of planter. It proved
to be a negro, securely bound as only
Chinamen know how to tie a parcel.
Tbe negro was scared out of his senses,
though eutirely unhurt. Laying him
quietly down on the gallery, the lead
er of the Chinese, pointing to the mass,
said to the planter; "Niggahl too
much ! too much niggah I" aud then
the whole party trotted back to their
work. It was an hour's hard work to
untie the frightened negro, who on his
release, very cheerfully acted upon the
suggestion of the planter to "make
"Clara" writes from Brooklyn to
say that she has no sympathy- with
those "sham modest" girls who com
plain because young men gaze at them
in the street. Clara says she is a pret
ty girl, and is perfectly willing that
poor young men wuo admire beauty,
aud cannot afford to get a specimen
for themselves should look at her
square in the face, provided they do it
iu a delicate manner. Clara adds that
she has beautiful feet and wears short
dresses, and that her object in wearing
such dresses is the same as that ot all
the other pretty footed girls iu the
Hobbs, tho old rascal, says an
American girl loves with her eyes, an
English girl with her arms, a Freuch
girl with her' lips, aud Italian and
Bpanibb with all . three. . A Boston
woman capitulates iu three mouths, a
New York woman in two, and a New
Orleans woman in. coio. Causes,
partly cliniatrio and constitutional,
and partly a few words from the old
folks in the lack room,
Going Home with Sally.
Tho reader will laugh over this un
less human nature has greatly changed
since our boyhood :
One bright moonlight winter's night,
in tho days of "lanr syne," when
school-houses, cheap schoolmasters and
blue beach rods were the only lnstru
mentalities used for teaching the
"young idea how to shoot," we chanced
to attend a "spelling school I" in
certain rural district, the geographical
location of wt ich it is not now neces
sary to mention. 'Twas there, how
ever, where our eyes first fell on a
"fairy form" that immediately set our
susceptible heart in a blaze. She was
sixteen, or thereabout, with bright
eyes, red cheeks and cherry lips,
while the auburn ringlets clustered in
a wealth of profusion around her
beautiful head, and her person, to our
ravished imagination, was more per
fect in form and outline than the most
faultless statue ever chiseled by the
sculptor s art. As we gazed, our feel
ings, which never before had aspired
girlward (we were scarcely eighteen,)
were rally aroused, and we determined
to go home with her that night or
perish in the attempt. As soon, there
fore, as school was dismissed, and our
"lady love" suitably bonneted and
cloaked, we approached to offer our
services as contemplated, and we then
learned an imporUnt lessen, .viz, the
diilerence between resolving and do
ing. As we neared her to put our
resolution into execution, we seemed
to be stricken with a sudden blind
ness ; then red, green and yellow
lights flashed upon our vision, aud ap
peared and disappeared like watches
in a phantasmayoria. Our knees
smote together like Belshazzar's and
our heart thumped with apparently as
much force as if it were driving
tenpeny nails into our ribs I We, in
the meantime, having reached Sally's
side, manage to mumble over some
thing which is, perhaps, known to the
Becording Angei, but, surely, is not to
us at the same time poking out our
elbow as nearly at rig'it angles with
our body as our physical conformation
The night wind blew keenly, which
served in some sort, to revive us, and
as our senses returned, what were our
emotions on finding the cherished ob
ject of our primal love clinging to our
arm with all the tenacity a drowning
man is said to clutch a straw I Talk
of elysian, or sliding down greased
rainbows, or feeding on Uerman nutes
what are sich 'pheliugs" in com pari
son with those mighty ones that swell
ed our bosom nigh unto bursting off
our waistcoat buttons 1 Our happi
ness was simply ecstatic, and every
young lady or gentleman who has
ever felt the mighty throbbings of a
newlyplulged love will completely un
dcrstand that common word.
Well, wo walked on pleasantly tO'
ward Sally's home, conversing very
cosily and sweetly as we passed along,
until so courageous did we become
that we actully proposed "to go - and
sit awhile," to which our dulcina very
graciously assented. Alas for us !
now soon were we to be reminded that
the "course of true love never did run
Sally had a brother of some ten
summers, who accompanied us along
the way, and who was in wonderful
high spirits at the idea of bis sister's
having a beau, and ho would circle
around us, every noff and then gig
gling in tbe height of his jglee, and
examining us as clossly as if Sally and
ourself were tho world renowned
Siamese twius, and he was taking his
first look. Bill, by-the-way, was a
stubbed, chuckle-ht aded boy, whose
habiliments would have made the for
tune of an ordinary dealer in mop
rags. 1 length we arrived at the bars,
and while wo were letting thsra down
Bill shot past us, and tore for the
house, as if pursued by a thousand
bulls of Bablmn. He flung open the
door with a bang, a ad shouted at the
top -of his voice :
"Mother! mothor! Jim Clark is
coiniu' hum with S.1I I"
"Is bo T" scream .d the woman' in
"Wal, I declare !" I didn't think
the saphead kucwi nough 1"
Header, we didn t go in.
He took her fun jy when became;
he took her hand, he took a kiss; he
took no notice f the shame that
glowed her happy cheek at this. He
took to coming f.fternoous ; he took
an oath he'd ne'er deceive ; ho took
her father's silver i;pooun,and after that
he took his leave.
The fears that fho heathen Chinese
would overrun tbe country are pre
mature. In Calif jruia, out of a popu
lation of 500,22., only 49.311 are
Chinese, while of other foreigners
there are nearly 100,000. In San
Francisco the Chinese number 12,0i
More men kill themselves than
women. Women prefer jumping into
the water ; men prefer to blow their
brains out. Aed men cut their
throats ami aged women take to ropes.
More single peieons commit suicide
than married ; more divorced persons
than widowers, f 0 ray tie statistic?.
A laughable incident is related by
the Chicago Evening Journal in con
nection with the Baptist Convention
just held in that city. Tho reception
Committee bad been driven to their
wit's end to devise means of lodging '
the ministers in attendance, and after
considerable tribulation found quar
ters for them all, some fifteen hundred
in number. About fifty were quarter
ed on the floor of the Chapel attached
to the University on Cottage Urote
Avenue, and succeeded in sleeping
very comfortable during hve nights.
On the sixth, however, one of tho
reverend gentlemen happened to wake
up at an early hour and groped about
for his clothis, but they were gone
nothing that usually arrayed the
clerical person could be found, lie
sat np in bed and scratched his head
in confusion, not fully comprehending
the situation at first. Looking
around, ho discovered that Brother
B. s clothes were also absent, that
Brother T.'s big boots were not in
their usual place ; and, in fact, a
thorough examination showed that not
an article of apparel belonging to the
half hundred ministers was in the
room. Thoroughly frightened, tho
unfortunate Baptist yelled "Bobbers !
Burglars I" at the top of his voice,
and soon his companions were made
aware of the situation. Tho ensuing
scene can be better imagined than do
scribed. Considerable valuable prop-
erty was mciuucu wun tne missing
garments, such as money, watches,
railroad tickets, &c, and the situa
tion, to the unlucky victims, was gravo
in the extreme. The unclothed fifty
rushed hither and thither in tho ex
citement of the moment, vainly seek
ing something they could not find.
One could not but have pitied them,
and yet their embarrassment was ludi
crous in the extreme, lhey looked,
Bays the Journal, like a lot of ghosts
holding a grand carnival in the early
dawn. Finally the news spread, and
soon professors, students and porters
wcro busy devising means for dressing
up tbe unfortunates, but before they
had solved the difficulty presented, a
pile of clerically cut garments was
found in an out of the way corner, n
pair of boots in another place, and tbe
thorough search which was then in
stituted showed that some mischievous
college boys had played a trick upon
them, and hidden their garments in
various nooks and corners about tho
building. The ministers were finally
clothed, and will not soon forget the
scare they received.
The Lockport Union describes with
much feeling "a court scene of quiet
demeanor." It says a boy had neeu
arrested for the offence of picking up
some pieces of jewelry that came bv
accident in his way, and when chased,
running off with them. The venera
ble Juuge Marvin called tho boy to
him, and in answer to the several
questions put to the young one, he
answered that he was eleven years old.
Ho trembled considerably as ho ap
proached, to him, the awful presence
of tho white-haired judgo; but he
found that the wonted seat of cold and
solemn judgment was a mercy seat,
and the judge s eye a father s counsel ;
and as the judge told him never mor
to keep anything ho found, always to
be a good boy, and asked him if ho
would always do so, the little fellow
answered firmly, "Yes sir;" and a)
the boy turned and went away fror:
the premises of his fatherly adviser,
we thought that to a boy of that age,
a "Go home and be a good boy," was
infinitely safer than prison bars ; and
that perhaps the sound of those word.i
would not die away for many yean ,
but stay with the young prisoner and
make a man of him.
The Detroit Tree rrctt say :
"Some three months since, as a well
known undertaker was sitting in frca.
of his shop-door an acquaintancecairo
along, and for a joke asked the und...
taker what he would charge to bury
him. The man replied that he wot;! 1
do it very reasonably, and consid er
ing that it was a very dull day .;d
that he would bury in fine style :';r
thirty dollars, provided that he del
in twelve weeks. The bargain v,c
concluded on the spot, a third party
being called to witness, and on Mon
day the undertaker kept his share
the contract, the man having d -1
after an illness of two weeks, wl .' '1
were his only sick days for tw -iv-M
The Ciri. They think of Ht i i
lovers forsake them they can't :.t ''i
crying. They sit at the window, m. 1
can't help spying. Into private 1, : .
ters they can't lielp prying. Tj ,y.
each a beau they can't helptrv..:,:
When together, their tongues csi.''.
help plying. At the mirror they vm. ':
help twisting aud turning and try.:
They screw up their corset, trii c.;
the consumption, aud cuu't hel.i c
A westeruj editor has been
abroad by his subscribers on ac '
of ill health. This is the first iiis;. ;
of the kind on record. Clerg. n.t.i
are sometime subject to this t -