ia runusitun evfuy tomcat, by
W. R. DUNN.
In Knot's niilUllns, Eln Stroot.
TERMS, ?2.00 A YEAR.
ITo rVilvte.rlplinna received for a shorter
period than three months.
Corrospmvlenco nolicitc.1 from nil parts
of Hi? conn! i-y. Nn not i'0 wiil bo tuknn of
alinouy moos' communications.
Marriage and l'eath notices inserted
gratis.
BUSINESS DIRECTORY.
TIONESTALODGE.NO. 477i
I. O. GK T.
rt every Wednesday evening, at 8
Ll o'clock."
w. n. dunn, w. c. t.
M. W. TATE, V. S.
MI I, KB W. TATK
PETTIS & TATK,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW, .
A h rot, TIOKESTA , PA.
Isaac Ash,
ATTORNEY AT T,AW, Oil Cltv, T.
Will practice in tlio various Courts of
Forest County. All business entrusted to
til care will receive prompt attention,
13 ly
W. W, Mason,
ATTORNEY AT LAW. Office on Elm
Street, above Walnut, Tioncstn, Pa.
C W. Gliminn, W
ATTORNEY AT LAW,. Franklin, Ve
nn n go Co., I'a. tf.
N. 13. Sml!--y,
ATTORNEY aT LAW, I'otrnlcnm Con
tra, I'a. Will practice in tlio noveial
Courts of Forest County, M-ly
Holmes House,
ryiONESTA, TA., opposite tlio Topot.
J. C. D. Mahie, Proprietor. Uood Sta
bliiiK connected wiih the house. tf.
Jos. Y. Saul,
PRACTICAL Harness Maker and Sad
dler. Throo doors north of Holmes
House, Tionosta, I'a. All work in war
ranted, tf.
Syracuse House,
T1DIOUTIPa., J. A I Maokr, Tropio
tors. The house lias been thorninrhly
refilled and is now in tlio tirst-elass order,
rilu the best of accommodations. Any
."rmaiion concerning Oil Territory at
tlJs point will bo cliocrfullT furnished,
ly J.4U.MAUEK,
Exchange Hotel,
I CVTT Ell TIDIOUTE, Pa., T). 8. TUms
J fvr.u A How Prop'a. This house having
bnanretlted is now the most desirable stop
ping place in Tidioute. A good Billiard
Koo.u attaehod. 4-ly
National Hotel,
YRVINETOtf, PA.' W. A. Ilallonbaek,
Proprietor. This hotel is Nkw, and is
ow open as s first clans house, situate at
rejnnetion or tne u:i treoK Aiioguony
diver and Philadelphia A F.rio Railroads,
pposite the Depot. Parties having to lay
ver trains will tind this the most conven
er t hntol in town, with first-class accom
modations and reasonable "harirns. tf.
Tlfft Sons 4 Co.'s
(VIEW ENGINES. The undersigned have
1 1 for sale and will receive orders for the
above Engine. Messrs. TlfftSona A Co.
re now sending to this market their 12-
Horse Power Engine with H-Ilorao Power
lloitor. peculiarly adapted to deep wells.
Owners at Duncan A Chnllimt's, dealers
In Well Fixtures, Hardware, Ac, Main St.
xt door to Chn'-e House, Ploa-santville,
and at Mansion Mouse. Titusvillo.
tf. K. BRETT A SON, Agents,
Jolr K. Hallock,
k TTOP.NFY AT LAW and Solicitor of
J Pwtenta,Nn. MI'S I- rcncli streetlopposlto
Keeil M nuve) Erie, Pa. Will practice in
thaawnral Kliite Courts and the United
Htatm Courts. Kpecial attention given to
aoliciu' patents lor inventors : iniringc
neul!, re-issue and extension of patunU
rarelullT attended to. Itetercnees: lion.
Jsuies Cumnbell. Clarion; Hon. John S,
McCalinnut. Franklins H. L. A A. H.
Biehmond, Motdvillej W. 13. Lathy. Ti
one.ttK. 2 7
Dr. J. L. Aconb,
PHYSICIAN ANT SURGEON, who has
had lileou years' experience in larfre
and eucceislul practice, will aueiul all
Professional Culls. Olliee in his Druir and
Oroaerv Hioro, located in Tidioute, near
Tidioute House.
IN HIS STOKE WILL BE FOUND
A full assortment of Medicines, Liquors
Tobacco. Chrar. Stationery, Class, Paints,
Oils, Cutlery, and line Urocerics, all of the
best quality, aud will be aold at reasonable
rates.
H. R. BURGES3. an exnerieneed Drug-
t ist froa New York, has charge of the
'jtor. All prescriptions put up accurately,
tf. "
. . . W, P, Mercilliott,
Attorney at Law.
. A.VT)
EEAI. I5NTATE AG EXT,
TIOXESTA, FA.
r-tf
JOHN A. DALC, PHEI'T.
IN A. PrffceCR, VICE PRE IT. A. H. STEELE, CASH,
TIOITBSTA
SAVINGS BANK,
Tionesta, Forest Co., I'a.
This Rank transucu. a General Banking,
lrai'ls on the Principal Cities of the
I ! I 1 l.'l.M.1.,,l,n,1lu,.I
Gold and Silver Coin and Government
.--CUrillCH nouliv Ullil Mom, l',iu iu.iiin
i'. nvcrlod on the most favorable terms.
Intorest allowed on time deposits.
Mar. 4, tf.
NOTICE.
XJ returnad to hi prartire' after an ab-
K?nce oi iour nioniiiM, Kpui in mo nu. ju
UklHOfNaw Yorkv whore will atu-ml
.l.n 111 HI H
Otlioe in Eurelta Draft Ktore, 3d door
10
MADU FUOM
50
aJ
ti. rnethina; urgently needed by evti body
i'id and examine, or van.ples out p atago
p. d tor fO cts that rwuil easilv lor 10. It.
L Wolcott. l-il C'Ua'lirm Sq.t N. Y. 4H-H
yEAF.Nl ,SS, Catar h and Scrofula. A
V lad v who had bu tiered for yours from
Lc .fncs", Catarrh and .Scrofula, was cured
by a simple rem-(ly. Her sympathy and
si. Unto prompts her to send the receipts
T. of ,-liar e iv anv ore iini;arly atliict
'1 Addiooa Mrs. U, C. Deg.rott, Jersey
f, H. J. 48-K
r3
" Let ua havo Faith
VOL. IV. NO. 7.
GREAT EXCITFMENT !
at the Store of '
D. S. KNOX, & CO.,
Elm St., ioncsta Fa.
Wo are in daily receipt 01 the argrstand
MOST COMPLETE stock
(.KOCEIIIES
and
PROVISIONS,
EVER BROUGHT TO THIS MAIKET
BOOTS & SHOES !
FOR THE
MILLIONS!
which we are determined to sell regardless
of prices.
-" AND
House Funiishlnjr, Goods, Iron, Nails,
Machine tools, Agricultural Implements,
Ae., Ac,, Ac!, which 'we offer at greatly re-
i. -J , . ' "
iluced prioea.. - r
FURNITURE !; FURNITURE I !
of all kind, ' .
PARLOR SUITS, - .
CIIAMBERSETh,
LOUNGES,:
WHATNOTS, '.
SPRING BEIiH,
:". MATHERS Eft,
;i LOOK fNG C LKS
" i V.H, Ac, Ac, Ac,
In ENDLESS VARIETY. Call anil sec,
7-M . I). S. KNOX, A CO.
A CEN TS WAXTKII I-OH H'lIK
LIBRARY Or' POEI'KY AND
!()NG. '1 ho handsomest and cheapest
work extent,- It lias so. lethimr In it of the
best for every one, for Hie old, the middle-aired
and thoyouiif' and must become
nid versnliy popular. Excepting the Bible
this will bn the book most loved ami the
mcst fre-niontiy referred to in the family.
Every page hat pnssed under tho critical
eve of the jrcat poot,
WM. Cl'l.LEN BRYANT.
Bare chimco for best agents. Tlio only
book of its kind ever sold by subscription.
Send at once for circulars, Ac., to
GEO. MACLEAN, Publisher.
30--K 71'JSaiisoni St., Philadelphia, Pa.
SEASON OP 1870-71.
MASON & HAMLIN CABINET
ORGANS.
Important Improvement
Patent June 21st and August 2d, 1870.
REDUCTION OF PRICES.
The Mason A ll.itnllii Oil-hii Co., have
the pleasure of announcing important im
provements in til. -ir Cabinet Organs, for
which Patents were granted them in June
and August last. These uro not merely
meretricious atlachinciits, but enhancu the
substantial excellence of tho instruments.
They uro also enabled by increased facil
ities largo new nianufui tory, they hopo
hereafter to supply all orders promptly.
The Cabinet Organs made by this Com
pany are of such universal reputation, not
only throughout America, but also in Eu
rope, that few will in-ed assurance of their
superiority.
Tliov now offer Four Octavo Cabinet Or
gans, bi quite plnin cases, Inn equal accord
inn lo their capacity to anything they make
for ."l) each.
The same, DouboHeed, Five Oc
tave Double ltccd Organs, Five Stops.witb
Knee swell and Tremulant, in elegant case
with several of the Mason and ilamliu
imirovcinents, S 1 The same Extra
with new Vox Humana, Automatic Swell
etc., $I."0. Five Octaves, three sets Heeds,
seven stops with Euphoue; a splendid iu
atruinents, ftiss.
A new illustrated catalogue with full
information, and repuced prices, is now
ready, and wil be sent free, w tu a testi
monial circular, presenting a great mass of
evidence as to llio superiorily of these in
struments, to auv one sending his address
to MASON A HAMLIN ORGAN CO., lot
Trcniont Street, Huston, os i'M liroiulwny,
N. Y. ai-H
4.(0 P. M. Frsi ;'.it an I .c:inm -lation
rlnilv.
.v I.-1.-V T In: U l'IT 'I'.M.M AUK.
The most l'opular Preaclu r in Auun ica.
Agents wanted everywhere, male or fe
male, lo sell tins great work, is better than
M....L- 'l .t .t i, mi,l no Irnlllill, 111 sell. 1','lH
I Proiits. Sell d lor terms and iliiisirati d )-
jitme ciieulur, l-.vims, rsiou.ian .v iu.,ruis
Loiitis, No. 7W Saunoui St., l'hiia.lelilua.
J 1 vJ ' '
that Right raakas Might ; and
TIONESTA,
Puddles.
From the Boston Traveler.
: One roorninir early in March, - we
were sitting Sn the O. A. It. room of a
a little New Hampnhire town surround
ed by (lie debris of the previous night's
oyster supper, discussing the thaw and
listening lo anecdotes of warlike ad
venture, i
"So my city friend," remarked the
commander, "you think the mud at
tho bridge yesterday was pretty deep,
and that going the Grand Hounds af
ter a rain storm at Fort Warren was
rather dirty work. You ought to have
been with us down South, w here every
tain gave us mud ankle or knee deep,
and made great puddlca, or rather
ponds, along the rouds. Let me tell
you a story of one of these ponds. I
knew that I was to be posted by one
of them at night, aud told the fellows
when I saw the Colonel ride through
it in the daytime, that he'd have to
ttfke a bath that night. So when I
was on picket, I heard some one who I
knew pretty well was the Colonel, go
the grand rounds, ride up to the picket
on the other side of tho pond, dis
mount, give the countersign, and then
mount agnin. Orders were that any
one approaching on horseback must
dismount before before he advanced to
give tho countersign, I heard the
horse's logs splashing iu the water, aud
waited till he hud got some way into
the pond before I challenged. "Halt!"
The horse stopped. "Who goes there?"
"A friend." "Dismount."- The horse
aud rider begnn to approach. "Dis
mount, or I"ll put a piece of lead into
you." The Colonel, who was a fat man,
plumped right down into the water,
above his waist, when ho hcani my
lock, wuded through the mud and wa
ter, holding his horse by the bridle,
aud gave the countersign. As he
stood on the brink, shivering from head
to foot, for it whs a cold November
night, he burst out with, "How dare
vou do this? I've a mind to put you in
the guard-house !" "Well, Colonel,"
suid 1, "if I hadn't done so, you surely
would have put me there." At this 1 e
pulled out Ins canteen, took an awful
swig, and tillered it to nie, with the re
mark that he guessed I was right.
"Well," said I, "Colonel, I don't ofteu
drink, but seeing it's you, aud there's
no one to look at us, I don't care if I
do." When he was just riding of!', he
reined -up and called back to me, "II
any one tries to ride through ugain to
night, House him all over."
"I had one queer experience with
one of those puddles," began unother.
"Hold on a minute," cried a third,
"until I tell about that game they
tried on Jack Racket. Jack, you see,
was a city fellow, and the boys wanted
to try whether he was plucky or not.
So they determined to creep upon him
when he was on guard. It was a niian
game, and a very dangerous one, lor
the lock might have struck fire any
way, and then where would they have
been r When he was posted, the ser-
, gciint of the guard maiuige'll to take
the caps nil every nipple, on his revol
ver, while the lieutenant was talking
with.' him. The pickets there, were
armed with revolvers and sabres, and
sometimes also a carbine; but Jack
had only his revolver and sabre."
"Gad, how dai.gerous! He might
have capped his pistol before they
came. He "
"That's so," rejoined the narrator.
"Hut pretty soon Jack heard a noise,
and could tee some men creeping up
toward him through the darkness.
They did not stop ut his 'halt,' so he
snappped his pistol twice at them
without effect. Then quick as thought
he pulled a cap from his boot leg, cap
ped one nipple and fired, putting a
bullet .through the ajjoulder of his
brothet, who was in the party. Then
he went for the crowd with Ins sabre,
just as they t-eguu td laugh out of the
wrong side of their mouths, and were
crying for quarter. Jack's pluck was
never questioned again ; but this ex
j)eriment cost his brother some weeks
ill the hofpital."
. "I had, a somewhat i-imilar experi
ence with our q-.irterinas.tcr," said an
other. "He was a mighty mean man,
and was always skulking round, trying
to spy out what the soldiers were doing.
I was mi picket one night, when the or
der was to lire on anything that came
from the front, and to keep a sharp
lookout in the rear. Well, the quar
termaster was officer of the day.
About midnight I heiml a rustling m
the hushes uetsr by. As there wus no
answer to niy challenge, I was about
to lire, when what do you think? at
the clink of my lock, up sprung the
quartermaster from the luish, trying
'For God's take, don't tire ! lt'b I.' 1
never saw a man look more sheepish.
That's my storv. Now for y nir pud
die, Dan."
"Well," said Dun, "I was posted on
the edge of one of one such puddles
us l'li-cninu ili-s( ribed, being the only
s. utry between that and the guard
hoitsc. I heard Home one advancing
on horseback through the pond. 1
gave the customary challenge, and
then the order to dismount. The rider
requested the pr v lege of ridiug
up to me, but I s.iid that b( must dis
I mount. "Vhy.fceutry," said he, "it's
pretty bard to have to got into tin?
R
EPUBLICAN.
in that Faith let us to the end,
PA., TUESDAY, MAY 16, ,1871.
mud and water. If you will allow roe
to ride up, I can give the countersign."
But a little click made him dismount
and advance on foot. When he vault
ed into the saddle, he asked me where
the guard-house was, and I told him.
An the guard was turned out when he
he got there, I knew that I had dis
mounted some officer.
The next morning came an order for
M to go to the Colonel's tent. I
was a little flurried at this, because
Old Tom never sent for n man unless
he meant business. .Well, I went up,
knocked, and the Colonel's voice bade
me come in. He looked at me as I en
tered and I saluted him, but did not
speak till he had finished what he was
writing. Then he gruffly asked, "are
you the man that dismounted Gen.
Sherman in a mud-puddle near the
fuard-house last night?" I told him
had dismounted somo officer, but I
had tint seen his face. I was not sup
posed to know any one after stinduVn,
and had only obey orders. "Turn over
your equipments to the orderly, and
report with this note at the General's
headquarters." When Gen Sherman
had read the note, he turned to me
with a smile, and said "you may re
port for duty at the Quartermaster's
Department." And there I stayed,
boys, for four mouths, on duty only
two hours iu the day, with hardly any
thing to do, and twenty five ceats ex
tra every day. Thai's the way I was'
punished for doing my duty. J. II.
Look Before You Kick.
A minister ii oue of our orthodox
churches, while on bio wuy to preach
a funeral sermon in the country, called
to see one of his members, an old wid
ow ladv, who lived near the road he
was traveling. 1 lie old lady had jist
been making sausages, uud she felt
proud of them, they were so plump,
round and sweet. Of course she in
sisted on the minister taking some of
the links home to his family. He ob
jected on account of not having hid
portmanteau with him. This objec
tion was soon oven uled, aud the old
lady, after wrapping them in a rag,
carefully placed a bundle iu either
pocket, of preacher's rapacious great
coat. Thus equipped lor the funeral.
While attending to the solemn du
ties of the grave, some hungry dogs
sceuted the sausages, aud were not
long in traoking them to the pockets
of tne good man's overcoat. Of course
there was a great anunyauce, and he
was several times uuder the necessity
of kicking these whelps away. The
obaequii sat the grave being completed,
the minister and the Congregation re
paired to the church, where the fune
ral discourse was lo be preached. Af
ter the sermon was finished, the minis
halted to make some remarks to the
congregation, wheu a brother who de
sired to have some appointment given
out ascended the steps of the pulpit,
and gave the minister's coat a hitch to
get his intention. The divine think
ing it a dog, having designs upon his
pocket, raised his foot, gave a sudden
kick, and scut the good brother spraw I
ing down the steps.
"You will excuse tne brethren and
sisters," said the minister, confused,
and with ut looking at the work he
had just done, "for I could not avoid
it I have sausages iu my pricket and
that t.uim Jon il"g has been trying to
grab them ever since I came upon the
premises
t"
The Binghaiuton Republican says:
About twenty persons have signed a
petition to have Ituloff's sentence
commuted to imprisonment for life;
and they do so only on the stated
grounds that they are opposed to capi
tal punishment in all cases. Most peo
ple holding to those views prefer to
wait until after the 18th proximo, be
fore they assist iu any movement to
have capital punishine-d abolished, be
lieving that, if there can bo any such
thing as justice in execii'ioiis, it will
just in llie case of Kuloff.
Olive Logan has at last been
found out by a Wtst.rii critic, who
watched her closely through an opera
glass. He says "she wears about her
an artlcts simplicity which lessens her
apparent years as it heightens her at
tract ivencas." We always knew MisH
Logan wore one of tlnse things, but
never liked lo call attention to it. She
got it upou our recommtlidation, frotu
a woman in New York, who devotes
herself eut:rely to the manufacture of
artless simplicities with all the latest
i m p ro ve in en t s. 1 Jen vvr lie raid.
A u "immediately" married couple
went tVo i u the bridal al'ar to a dry
goods shop in Keokuk, the other day.
Aflersundry purchastsHiid becu made,
the ignorant clerk asked the lady to
buy a hat lor her boy. Will) queen
like dignity fche responded; "No, I
have only been married : bnut twenty
minutes. I have no boys yet."
A Vermontcr b.is had S3 damages
awarded him for being butied over a '
fi uco by his neighbor's bull. The!
sm.illi-cs of the ttiiu is duo in the '
pl.iiulill's avonul that he was trying!
in g.-t over the fence as quietly as
possible, o the bull only helped him
n carrying out an intcutiou contieved
of his wwii fry will.
dare do our duty as we understand if-LINCOLN,
WHO IS AT FAULT?
The following essay was read by
Rev. S. S. Burton, at Good Templar'i
Hall, Tionesta, Wednesday evening
hist. By a unanimous vote of the
lodge assembled, Mr. Burton was re
quested to furnish a copy of the same
to the Forest Repcbucan. Ed.
Where wrong exists, there exists
also a disposition to avoid responsibil
ity. ,
The fact has an existence, that men
become intoxicated, and very few can
be found who will Dot admit that
drunkenness is wrong; but who is to
be blamed ? Some say the answer is
easy: the drunkard himself. Let us
follow him iu his foelings and acts, aud
see if we cannot pity, as well as cen
sure. Do you see him leaving his
home with that appetite already form
ed which has now become his master.
He despises himself for being a slave
to the cup ; despises the cup with all
the influences it possesses for evil ; and
yet his appetite is so strong, he must
tako one glass where the opportunity
presents itself, and then, who dots not
kuow that a second glass must be ta
ken to keep the company of the first,
and then a third, and so on, until the
mau loses hi self-control entirely.
Now, w hen we remember the potency
of a bad habit, and the impotency of
resolution in the presence of exciting
causes, shall we not pity instead of
blame?
May we not ask if the vendor of the
enchanting, enslaving, and captivating
drink is not entitled to a share of the
responsibility ?
But he not too severe iu your cen
sure. First take his place ; look at a
family, breadlcss, unless the father fol
lows that business which he has paid
for tho privilege of following, by pro
curing license of the proper authority,
aud investing' his all in a public house,
so that by refusing to let the man who
drinks have his accustomed dram, he
cuts off his means of support, not only
for himself, but for his family, aud
what father can see his children suffer
for bread when he can, iu a legul way,
provide means to prevent it?
Shall not the responsibility of selling
the soul-and-body-destroying beverage
ho divided between tho vendor and tho
judge who signed his license to fill
drunkards' graves, and people tho re
gion of darkness?
Though the judge, Pilate-like, may
wash his hands in innoceiiey, and may
hope to be acquitted at the bar of God
and public sentiment, yet, he, rilate
like, did a ireadful deed simply for
position. He dure not stand up liken
man, and refuse all liquor btibes and
tho influence of all whiskey men, aud
of all anti-w hiskey men who are ready
to kick any man whom they may
chance lo see some one else kicking.
"No," says tho piisilauimons judge,
"public sentiment would be against
mr." Men are fe who will Hand by
men who stand by sentiment.
None of God's true noblemen have
ever lived, who cannot attest to the
truth of the assertion just made ; so we
must jidinit the fact, and it changes
our hitter reproach to a kind pity for
the specimen of humanity who holds
au office by a sacrifice of his true man
hood. ''At 1 we may be permUtol to nsk,
shall not the responsibility be divided
betweeu the judge and those very re
spectable citizens who signed the peti
lion for license ?
They turely had uo money to make
by the operation, unless by bribes
which they would blush to make pub
lic; for who would wish to advertise
that he had sold himself and and his
fellow men for money, and that, too, a
trifling sum? I fancy I soe these
sneaking, low-lived specimens of hu
manity asking to share the responsibil
ity with all Good Templars, and other
good temperance men, w ho will see the
'aw broken, men ruined, ami God dis
honored from day to day, by the sale
of the beverage to minors and men of
intemperate habits, ami who w ill soothe
their guilty consciences by niectitig
weekly and engaging in a routine of
forms and ceremonies, all meauingless,
unless it means it means salvation to
the drunkard. Among these may be
found officer of justice, whose duties
officially performed, would lead them
to investigate these matters; als law
vm who knw th law and how to n-
$2 PER ANNUM.
force it, but shrink from a plain duty;
also physicians, who well understand
the results of this course of things, and
whose warning voice, in the discharge
of their professional duties would ac
complish more than any mere plebian ;
also the minister, who is commanded to
"cry aloud, and spare not,"' Ac.
Smile not upon Bin, even if that
smile is to make a friend and bring
nxincy, honor praise, and a multitude
of other desirables. We are at fault
for these evils, and let the one who is
without sin cast the first stone, and I
fear no stones will be cast.
What is the remedy?
Answer. Let us kindly, carefully
and considerately resolve what to dof
and then in the fear of God and love
of our fellow men, let us do it, with as
little injury as possible; but in the
name of our common humanity let us
act, as well as to meet, and debate aud
wrangle, and-tlo our routine of Blue
Book business, then go h&me and con
sider duty done till next lodge night.
Action moves the world.
The Earth only a Shell.
If you bury a thermometer fifty feet
below the surface of tho earth, the mer
cury will remain at the same point the
year araind, in winter and i'J summer,
showing that the influence of the sun
does not reach below that depth. It
we carry the thermometer fifly feet
deeper the mercury will rise one de
gree, and will rise in the same ratio for
every fifty feet wc go dowu. It can be
easily calculated at what depth all
known substances will melt. This
would not exceed fifty miles. It will
thus be seen that the crust or solid
part ofthe earth in exceedingly thin,
in proper! ion to the diameter; not so
tlliek as an egg-hhtll in proportion to
the size ofthe egg. With a crust so
thin, constantly cooling, and producing
a pressure upon the internal masses, ii
is not strange that the bed of oceans
should he elevated in a single day, and
whole cities have been sunk in the same
space of time. The side of a volcanic
mountain once broke away, and tho
liquid masses flowed out, forming a
river twelve miles wide, which, in its
course, melted down six hills six hun
dred feet high, filling up valleys six
hundred feet deep, and spreading over
a surface one thousand one hundred
square miles. ;
VVhiskeri.
The editress of the Lancaster Liter
ary Gazette nays she would as soon nestle
her nose in a rat's nest of swingle tow
as to allow a man with whiskers to kisa
her, to which the New Orleaus Lee, it
maybe utigullantly, thus responded:
"We dou't bclive a word of t? The
objections which some ladies pretend
to have to whiskers all arise from cu
vy. They would if the could, but the
fact is, the continual motion of the
lower jaw is fatal to their growth. The
Indies God bless them 1 adopt our
fashions as fast as they can. Look at
the depredation the dear creatures
have committed on our wardrobes the
lust few years. They have appropriated
our shirt bosoms, gold studs and all.
They have encirlcled their soft, be
witching necks in our standing collars
and cravats driving us men to flat
lerits and turndown., Their innoct-ut
little hearts have been palpitating iu
the inside of our waist-coats, instead
thundering against the outside, as nat
urally intended. They have thrust
their pretty feet and unkles through
unineiitionuldes iu short, as Alicaw
her would say, brechshes. Aud they
are skipping idoug tiie streets in our
heeled hoots. Do you hear, gentlemen?
We say boots !
The stoicism of some men is com
mendable. A man was recently en
gaged to be nuiiried to a fair damsel
of his native village. The happy day
arrived, and, aftired in his best, the
groom went to claim his blushing bride
und conduct her to the alter. Leach
ing her house, he was informed that
she had been helped out of she w indow
bv another fellow, at 3 o'clock that
morning, and that a Justice having
married them, they hud departed for
parts unknown. Not a bit cast dowu
was the philosophic youth et this, but,
taking matters coolly, casually re
marked : "I am glad that she was mar
ried last night instead of to-Light, if
she is of that disposition."
An old Scotch lady was told that
bei minister used notes. She disbe
lieved it. Said one "go into the galle
ry and see." She did so, aud saw the
written sermon. After the luckless
preacher had concluded his reacing on
the last page he said : "But I v ill not
cularge." The old woman cried out
from her lofty position : "Ye cunna,
ye canua, fur'yer papers give oout."
Two travelers, stopping at a Des
Moines hotel can.e near losing their
lives by blowing out the gas on retir
ing to bed. One of tluiu wheu asked
if he smelt any thing wrong, said yes,
but he thought it was the other fellow's
breath.
. Rates of Advertising.
OnoSqnare(l islrh,) one Insertion...."! W
onoNquaro " (inoinonin -
One Square " - threo months..- " 00
One Square " ono year lo (W
Two Squares, one year 1
ounrtcr l.oi. v
Half " " 0W
Ono " " 10
Husiness Card 4, not nxoeoding on tnob
In length, $10 per year.
I.ejrnl notices at istablbhed rate
These rates ar; low, and no deviation
vlll be made, or discrimination amoni
patrons. The rat'is offered are such,
will make it to the ad vantageof limn dol.
business in the limits ofthe circulation of
tne iaiier lo advertise liberally.
A Grievous Wrog.
There is the soundest common sense
in the following paragraph from tho
Manufacturer ana Builder :
Why is it that there is such a repug
nance on tins part of parents to put
tiug their sous to a trade? A skillful
mechanic' is an independent man. Go
where he will his craft will briug him
support. He need ask favors of none.
He has literally his fortune in his own
hands. Yet foolish parents ambitious
that their soii3 should "rise in the
werld," as they say are more willing
that they should study for a profes
sion, with the chances of even moder
ate bucccsss heavily agaiust them, or
run the risk of sending their niau
hood in the ignoblo task of retailing
dry-goods, or of toiling at the account
ant's desk, than learn a trade which
brings them manly strength.health and
independence. In poiut of fact, the
method they choose is tho one least
likely to achieve the advancement aim
ed at, fi.r the supply of candidates for
"errand boys," dry-goods clerks, and
kindred ocupations, is notoriously
overstocked ; while, on the other hand,
the demand for really skilled mechan
ics of every description is as notorious
ly beyond the supply. The crying
need of this country to-day is for skill
ed labor; and that hither who neglects
to provide his son with a useful trade,
and to see that he thoroughly masters
it, does hiin a grievous worng and
runs the risk of helping by so muth
to increase tho stock of dependent,
if not vicious members of society.
It is stated in the report of the Piiscn
Association, lately issued, out of foui
teen thousand five hundred and ninety
six prisoner ton fined in the thiity
States, in 18G7, seveiity-scveu percent,
or over ten thousand of the number
had never learded a trade. The fact
conveys a lesson of profound iutereit
to those who have iu charge the train
ing of boys, aud girls too, for the ac
tive duties of life.
A correspondent from Brazil of tho
Boston Advertiser writes: "The negro
totes every thing ou his head from a
small tinner nn reel to a fraud DiaUO.
I I - I C- . '
auu, oa IMS ncau, u iuujt apcuuiug
the hot months iu Tijuca ordered her
piano sent out from the city, a distance
of about twenty miles, supposing it
would be sent by steam. But on the
day appointed eight negroes made their
appearance at White's Hotel in Tijuca,
with the said piano riding aloft on
their woolly heads having brought
it the entire distance, including the
mouutaiu road of three miles heavy
'up grade,' without once stopping for
rest on tho way. Before setting it
down these jolly negroes paraded it
about the yard with a sing song march,
to show that they were not iu least
done up by their performance."
Somebody writes to the Washington
Cc;iWa3 follows: "I'll just tell you a
good joke. The other day one of tho
High Joints said to a pretty girl,
'Where are all vour handsome men?
The ladies are all very well, but 'pon
my soul, you know, I haven't seen a
handsome man since I've been here.'
'Ah,' said the young lady.swectly.'but
you have handsome men in Kiiglaud.I
presume?' 'Oh! yes, of course, wo
have plenty of them.' 'Then, why,'
she asked, 'did not the Queen send one
here?' "
A beggar importuned a lady for
alms, and she gave him a shilling.
"God bless your ladyship," said he,
"this will prevent mo from executing
my resolution." Tho lady, alarmed,
urn! ttiinLinir he cnntemnlated suicide.
asked what he meant. "Alas, madam,"
replied he, "but for this shilling I
should bo obliged to go to work."
FinE. On Saturday morning 15th
ult., the barn of William Barrow, sit
uate on Laurel Bun, Jay township,
thiir country, was entirely destroyed by
firo. All the grain, hay, corn, etc.,
was burned together with six valuable
horces. The cause of the fire is not
definitely known. Elk Advocate.
The lady principal of a school in
her advertisement, mentioned her lady
assistant, and the "reputatiou she
beats," but the printer left otif'which,"
so the advertisement went forth com
mending the lady's reputation for
teaching the bears.
Even Tom Hood is almost Incxcusa
hlu for such a deocriptiou of music as
this: "Heaven reward the man who
first hit unou the very original notion
of sawing the inside of a cat with the
tail of a hoise."
A Tennessee lady, with a tendency
lo practical punning, being ill, thought
she might get well bv jumping nit
one, but unfortunately kicked the
bucket iu her descent.
"One ov the. best temporary cures
for pride and aft'ectashun that I have
ever seen tried," says Mr. J. Billings,
"is sea sickness ; a man w ho wants to
vomit never puts ou airs."
An uvkImiiiif, nut- fprsclv of a tinted
Texan rufruui,thut "through the euergy
of a sheriff ho now oruamcuU a rustic
graveyard."
An advertisement of cod-liver oil
end thus: "l'atieuts who have ones
tskeM it ran lak no ether.