v
i
7
ipTOt gtcpuMtam.
IK rV'RLUHKD EVERT TUB3DAT, BY
W. It. DUNN.
IMTlno In Krox'B Building, Kim, Street.
THUMB, f-i.00 A YEAH.
No Subscription wolvod for shorter
period tlmn three months.
Correspondence solicited from nil part
of tho country. No notice will bo tukon of
nnonymou communication.
Mtirrhuros and Death notices inserted
UTatiK.
V BUSINESS DIRECTORY.
TION EST A LODGE, NO. 477,
I. O. O. T. .
feli vry Wednesday evening, at t
111 o'clock.
W. Tt. DUNN, W. C T.
M. W. TATE, W. H.
wewtos r-rrris. mii.ehw.tatk.
PETTIS A TATE,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
M h Xriit, TIONESTA , PA .
Isaac Ash,
TTORNKY AT LAW. Oil City. Pa.
S. Will practice In tho vnrlnu Courts of
. I orost County. All Ijumness ontruiu kj
4t cure will receive prompt atUmllon.
ia ly
W. W. Mason,
ATTORNEY AT LAW, Ofnee on Elm
Htreet, above Walnut, Tlonfwta, Pa.
C. W. GllflUan,
A TTOR5EY AT LAW, Franklin, Ve-
J i. nango Co., fa. u.
N. B, Smiley,
TIORIET aT LAW. Petroleum Con
I tre, Pa. Will practice in the several
mrt or rorest county. so-iy
Holme House,
nnONESTA, PA., opposite the Depot.
A C. I). Mabto, Proprietor, uooa ni
tiling connected with the house. tf.
Jos. Y. Saul,
nitAC
kCTlCAL Harness Maker and
Sad-
I dler. Tliroo doors north of Holmes
lonr, Tioncsts,
Pa. All work is
war
tf.
runted.
Syracuse House,
T1DIOUTT, Pa., J. & D Maoeb, Proplo
tors. The house lis been thoroughly
rafltted and is now in the first-class order
ith the best of accommodations. Any
nftirnmtion concerninn Oil Territory at
Ibis point will be cheernuiy rnrnisneu.
-iy j. Ad. mauee.
Exchange Hotel,
T OWER TltUOUTE. Pa.. IVS. Rams
lj mm, A Sox Prop's. This house having
liennretlted is now the most desirable stop
rint Place In Tldloute. A good Milliard
lloom attached. 4-ly
National Hotel,
TRVTKETON. PA. W: A. Hallenbnek
Proprietor. Thia hotol is Sw, and is
,i open aa a first class house, situate at
rejnnction of the Oil Crock Allegheny
.liver and Philadelphia A Erie Railroads,
npoHite the OeiMit. Parties having to lay
ver trains will Mnd this tho most convon
ent hotel in town, -with first-class acoom-
tiodatlons and rcnsonaule :liargea. u.
Tifft Sons & Co.'t
NEW ENGINES. Theunderslirnedhave
forsalo and will receive orders for the
lvov Kncino. Messrs. TitrlBons X in,
lira now sondlnir to this markot their 12
Homo Power Engine with 14-Horse Power
Roiler peculiarly adnpted to deep wells.
OrKtcics at Duncan A Chnlfant s, dealers
In Well Fixtures, Hardware, Ac, Main St,
next door to Chaso House, PlcasantvUle,
and at Mansion House, Titimvllle.
tL K. iKJSETT A SON, Agents
3titrn, K Hallock,
A TTORNEY AT IAW and Solicitor of
, l l'stenUi.No. 665 French street( opposite
Heed House) Erie, Pa. Will practice in
thesiveral Btate Courts and the United
(States Courts. Special attention given to
xoliritir ? natonta for Inventors : infringe
ments. re-Issue and extension of patent
.-KrofiiUv attended to, uerorencos! lion,
.James Campbell, Clarion : Hon. John 8,
Mct almom, r nnmin ; ti. li. a a. it.
Richmond, MoadviUe; W. E. Lathy. Ti
nnetta. 2 7
Dr. J. L. Aconb,
PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON, who has
had fifteen years' experience in a largo
mid successful practice, will attend all
l'rofossional Calls. Olllco in his Drug and
Grocery Store, located in Tidiouto, near
Tnlionte House.
. IN HIS STORE WILL BE FOUND
A full assortment of Medicines, Liquors
Tobacco, Cigars, Stationery, (ilass, l'ainta,
His, Cutlery, and fine Groceries, all of the
boat quality, and will be sold awoasonable
rates.
H. R. BURGESS, an experienced Drug-
hit from New York, has charge of tho
Store. All proscriptions put up accurately.
tf.
W.T. Mercilllott,
Attorney at Iair.
SEAL, EN TAT 13 AO EXT.
TIONESTA, TA .
27-sf
JOHN A. DALE, PREI'T.
OHM A. PROPER, VICE PREST. A. M. STEELE, CAtHR,
TIOUESTA
SAVING S BANK,
Tionoeta, Forest Co., Pa.
. This Bank transacts a General Biujklng,
Cnlleetin and Exchuniro Business.
Drafts-on the Principal Cities of the
United States and Europe bouehtand sold,
Gold and Silver Coin and Government
Securities bought and sold. 7-30 Bonds
converted on the most favorable terms.
Interest allowed on time deposits.
Mar. 4, tf.
NOTICE.
DR. J. N. BOLARD, of Tidiouto, has
returnsd to bis practice after an ab
sence or tour montns, spent initio Hospi
tals of New York, where will attond
calls in his profession.
OlHco in Eureka Drug Store, 3d door
hovo the hauK, i wiiouie, ra. uu
$10
MAKE FROM
50 G
TS,
Something urgently needed by cveiybody
s all and examine, orsair.pies Kent prsuugo
rid for 50 cts that retail easily for I0. II.
7 Wolcott, m Chathrm .So... N. Y. 4H-4t
DKAFNKSS, Catarrh and Scrofula. A
lady who had sutfored for yoars from
''afnes, Catarrh and Scrofula, was cured
by a simple remedy. Her sympathy and
c;ratitudo prompts her to send tho receipts
ine of charge tv anv ono similarly alllu-t-d.
Address Mrs. M. C. Deggett, Jersey
riry, J. 41 It
1 OREST
" Let us have Faith
VOL. IV. NO. 2.
GREAT EXCITFMENT I
at tbVStore of .
D. S. KNOX, & CO.,
Elm St., ionesta P.
We are In daily rocolpto, the argsstsnd
MOST COMPLETE stock
GROCi:ilII2I
and
PROVISIONS,
EVER BROUGHT TO THIS MARKET
BOOTS & SHOES !
for Tnn
MILLIONS!
which wo are determined to sell regardless
of prices.
:ei.aje2,id'W-A.:r,:e:
AND
Uouso Furnishing Goods, Iron, Nails,
Machine tools, Agricultural Implements,
Ac., &c Ac, which ws offer at greatly re
duced prices.
FURNITURE! FURNITURE ! !
of all kinds,
PARLOR SUITS,
CHAMBER SETS,
LOUNGES,
WHATNOTS,
SPRING BEDS,
MATRESSES,
LOOKING GLASS
ES, Ac., Ac, Ac,
In ENDLESS VARIETY. Call and sec,
7-tf D. 8. KNOX, A CO.
AGENTS WANTKD FOR THE
LIBRARY OF POETRY AND
SONG. The handsomest and cheapest
work extent. It has something in it of the
best for evcrv one, for tho old, tho middle-aged
and the young and must become
univerwilly popular. Kxcentinii tho Bible
this will bo the book most loved and the
meat frequently referred to in the family.
Every pauo ha passed under the critical
eye of tho .rrcat poet.
WM, UULliKS 1IKIA.M'.
Bare chance for boat agents. The only
book of its kind ever sold by subscription.
Send at once for circulars, Ac, to
GEO. MACLEAN, Publisher,
30-4t 719 Hansom St., Philadelphia, Pa.
SEASON OF 1870-71.
MASON & HAMLIN CABINET
ORGANS.
Important Improvement
Patent June 21st and August 23d, 1870.
REDUCTION OF PRICES.
Tho Mason A Hamlin Organ Co., have
the pleasure of announcing important im
provements in their Cabinet Or nans, for
which Patents were irrauted thorn in June
and August last. These are not merely
meretricious attachments, but enhance tho
substantial excellence of the iustrumeuts.
They are also enabled by increased facil
ities a large new manufactory, they hope
hereafter to supply all orders promptly.
The Cabinet Organs made bv this Com
pany are of such universal reputation, not
only throughout America, but also in Eu
rope, that few will need assurance of their
superiority.
Thev now offer Four Octave Cabinet Or-
irans, in Quite plain cases, but equal accord
ing to their capacity to any thing they make
or too eacn.
The same. Doub'e Reed, trto. Five Oe.
tuve Double Reed Organs, Five Stops.wilh
Kneeswelland tremulant. In elegant case
with several of the M.tnon and Hamlin
Iniorovemcnu. 8125. Tho same Extra
with new Vox Humiina, Automatic Swell
etc.. (ISO. Five Octaves, three seta Keeds,
seven stops with Euphone ; a splendid in
struments, sa,
A new illustrated catalogue with full
Information, and repuccd prices, is now
ready, and will be sunt freo. With a testi
monial circular, presenting a great mass of
evidence as to the superiority of these in
struments, to any one sending his address
to MASON A HAMLIN ORGAN CO., 154
Tremont Street, Boston, os Uo Broadway,
N. Y. SXMt
4.00 P. M. Freight and Accommodation
daily.
Mv Kkv. T. Djc Witt Talmaok,
The most Popular Preachor iu America.
Acenta wanted everywhere, male or fe
male, to sell this itreat work, is belter thau
Mark Twain, and no trouble to sell. lii
ProliM. bond for tonus and illustrated 12
pago circular, Kvans, htodilnrt dr Co.,Pub
libbers, No. 740 bonsom Hi., Philadelphia.
38" 4.
mmmm
that Right makes Might ; and
TIONESTA,
Enoch Arden in Pittsburgh.
From tho Pittsburgh Leader.
Pittsburgh lias now a real Enoch
Arden sensation. The parties connect
ed with tho affair are nil Pittitburgliera
and are quite well known here, which,
of course, makes it an item of more
than usual interest to our readers.
In the month of January, 186'2, a
young woman, named Miss Sarah P.
Voun, was married to Joseph M. Ab
bott, a young man who hnd gained a
local reputation as an amateur actor,
who lived in ono of the upper wards
l of the city. A few months after their
! : l l- .-j .1
marriage yvouon cijiiimcu iu hid aioiv,
in Company A. Une Hundred and
Ninth Pennsylvania Regiment, we be
lieve. The regiment, which was must
ered in Philadelphia, although a com
pany or two was organized in this city,
was sent to Harper s i erry and was at
tached to General (now Governor)
Geary's brigade. From llaper's Ferry
the regiment took the field actively.
Abbott corresponded with his wile up
till this time, but after that Mrs. Ab
bott failed to receive any lettors from
her husband. She made inquiry cou
cering him, but could get no informa
tion in regard to him, as the regiment
was constantly on the move she could
not reach it by letter. At length she
heard he was killed, unci, of course,
went into mourning over her dead hus
band. Some time after a young man,
named Thomas L. Williams, asked the
irivilcge of calling on Mrs. Abbott.
Ie paid considerable attention to her,
and at length asked her hand in mar
riage. She at first refused on account
of the mystery connected with her hus
band's fate. There could be no doubt,
however, from the report she received,
that her husbnd was dead, nnd she at
last consented to accept Mr. William's
proposal, and was married again. This
was in I860, four years after the depar
ture of her first husband for the wars,
Everything went on smoothly with the
new wedded couple, nnd prosperity
sec mod to hover about them. They
were blessed with three children as the
result of the union. Williams was
prospering nicely, and held the posi
tion ot a conductor on the 1 anhai.dle
Railroad ; a position, we believe, he
still occupies.
But the heaven of joy was one day
disturbed by the return of the first hus
band to this city. Abbott, instead of
being killed, as was reported, had pass
ed through the war safely, and had re
turned sound in body and spirit
About four or five months ago he re'
turned to this city. Imagine the as
tonishment of those when the reality
a pea red. The wife believed that her
first husband wns dead, and ho comes
home to find his wife wedded to anoth
er. His appearance caused a separa
tion all around.
Abbott refused to assume his station
as husband" when ho found that she
had wedded another, and Williams de
clined to remain with her when the
other husband had made his appear
ance. Williams accordingly left her,
leaving her their three childred to care
for, while Abbott retused to have any
thing at all to do with her.
J. he result of the whole aflair is that
a few days ago Mrs. Abbott-Williams
called on Brown & La in bio, attorneys,
and after consultation, decided to bring
suit against the second husband, Wil
liams, for the support of their children,
which he left iu her hands to care for,
as she alleges, without giving her any
means for the support of the children.
The suit was instituted before Alder
man Nicholson, who has held the case
for trial. Tho trial, when it comes up,
will doubtless be interesting in the ex
treme. Somebody bus given a droll para
phrase of George Washington and the
hatchet story. He says General But
ler and Wendell Phillips were in the
Garden of the White House waiting
to see the President. They were kept
there for some while, when Butler,
picking up a hatchet, began cuttiug
the trees to beguile the time. Grunt
soon after appeared, and asked, "who
has beeu hacking these trees?" But
ler answered, "I cuntiot tell a lie, Mr.
President; it was Wendell Phillips."
They 'sell pretty good brandy in
Massachusetts. A man up there late
ly bought some brandy, aud taking it
home hung it up in a bottle by the lire
place, when following circumstance
took place as related by himself after
wards: "It was a middling cold night,
and when I got up in the morning I
I found the bottle had dropped on the
hearth and broken into a thousand
pieces, but the brandy was all right
there it hung on that nail, froze solider
than thunder!
A Missouri girl has not spoken to
her parents for five years. When she
wants money or anything she writes it
down on a slate and hands it to her
father, nnd loads a revolver. He
never failed to "come down" yet ; so
tli :y don't know really whether she
would shoot or not. She is getting to
be an old maid, because no young uiuu
dares to take the chances.
Shoutheast, Conn., glories in the
possession of a juvenile progeny, un
13 years of age, who can do "all the
sums" ia twenty-ono arithmetics and
thy nnic nam her f algt hrHS.
R
EPUBLIC
in that Faith let us to the end, dare do our duty as we understand
PA., TUESDAY, APRIL 11, 1871.
Democratio Senate.
The Democratic pnrty is digging its
own grave as fast as it is possible for
any party to do. Every day, almost
every hour, the people are learning the
lesson, that notwithstanding nil its
promises and protests, it is still the
snme old revolutionary party that hiss
ed the loyal soldiers of the Govern
ment, and applauded the victories of
the Confederates. Whcrevei it lays
its hand, a law is violated. The few
successes it has gained within the past
year, have only enabled it to tench
the country its true character, and to
mark it as totally unfitted lor govern
ment. It has made no dill'urence where
those successes have been achievedthe
result has been, in every instance, the
malicious trampling upon all law,
peace, and good order. Whether we
turn to the South or to the North, suc
cess with that party bos secured the
same end. Whether we regard the
terrible increase of crime and murder
of loyal Southern men, or whether we
turn to Indiana, Pennsylvania or New
York, we seo the same malignant,
devclish spirit, prompting and ruling
their actions.
In our own State the Democratic
Senate commenced with hip-h-handed
usurpations totally unknown heretofore
and to.duy, that same Senate is steal
incr money from the Treasury, and re-
Iusiitb to uo the ICKitunate worn that
belongs to that body. No less than
four weekly Calendars remain untouch
ed, and every effort to pass a bill or to
call it up, is defeated by a strict Dem
ocratic vote, lhe excuse given is on
ly commendable by reason of its un
blushing effrontery. The Senate Ap
pertionmetit bill, will not be pnssed in
the House. Because a separate and
distinct branch of legislation does not
choose to pass a bill originating in the
Senate, Democracy refuses to act on
any House bill, or indeed on any bill
at ull. Here is an effort to force the
House in rauvsurcs, and to do so, the
Senate moots dav after day, idles away
the time, and pockets the peoples
money. I his is Democracy. L.nW'
abiding, law-loving, constitutional De
mocracv. Its acts are as moral and
upright as a till-tappcr, and no more.
From present appearaces there will be
a rupture between the two Houses.
Heretofore the House lias gone on,
legitimately discharging its business,
acting on all tho bills, and has
beeu doing the best it could un
der the circumstances. We see, how
ever, that a caucus has been held, and
s Drue, kind of an agreement entered
into by the Republicans. What the
exact naturo of that agreement may
be we do not preteud to know, but that
it points towards retributive justice is
most certain. Democracy, heretolore,
could get its private bills passed
through. We see that Mr. Buckalew's
bill for cumulative voting in elections
of borough councils, managed some'
how or other to get through the Sen
ate, and to the House. The agreement
on the part of Republicans is iu all
probability, that in tho future the
llouso of Representatives will take
care of these bills, and that the cha'iee
so freely thrust upon Republicans, by
Democracy in the isenate, will be com
mended to its own lips. We are not
at all certain that even this retribution
is right and proper, but it seems to be
the only way to deal with men, who
have shown a total disregard for all
law, and a determination to force a
separate Legislative brunch, to favora
bly puss a Senate Apportionment Bill.
This Dead Lock iu the Legislature,
arising as it does among, aud being di
rectly chargeable to the Democrats of
the Senate, will rise in judgment
against them in the State hereafter,
IHlttburgh Gazette.
Mr. Thomas Gill, a veteran news
paper reporter who died in Boston a
week or two ago, in his lifetime was
very fond of a joke, ami possessed a
keen sense of humor. Tho Washing
ton Chronicle gives an amusing in
stance of his drollery, 'lhe Hon. Rob
ert Rantoul, Jr., was delivering to an
immense audience nil oration a cele
bration ou Bunker Hill, in the course
of which he described with great pathos
and effect the famous battle which had
occurred ou the very spot where they
were assembled. As he resumed his
seat, Gill, who was seuted near him,
carelessly remarked, "My father was
iu the battle." Rantoul immedintely
sprang to his feet and announced this
fact, whereupon there were vehement
calls from the crowd fi r the sou of the
Revolutionary hero. Mr. Gill mod
estly rose, and after acknowledging the
vociferous cheers which greeted liim,
quietly informed his hearers that it
was true that his father was in the bat
tles of Bunker Hill, but he was fight
ing on the other side! The scene that
followed "beggared description." Mr.
Gill waa an Englishman by birth, and
one of the first professional reporters
who caine4o America.
Character is like a sl.'ck in trade;
the more of it a man poseses, the
greater is his faculties for adding to it.
Character is influence; it makes
frieuds, creates funds, draws patron
age and support; and opens a sure
and easy way to wealth, honor, and
happine-'.
A Very Remarkable Rat.
We often hear stories related of the I
wonderful cunning and knowledge of
the of the rat. but one is told savs '
the Ogdensburg (N. Y.,) Journal "of
a recent occurrence in which a real old ,
gray rnt whs the hero, nnd the incident
whereot took plaie in that city, which ;
is equal to the best. A lady who has
n number of fine hens, to which she
has devoted a good deal of care and
attention during the winter, in hopes
to obtain an early and a fair crop of
fresh eggs, was surprised at the mea-
gre result actually reached. The hens '
made noise, in singing and cacklug, i
enough for every day layers, and yet '
only occasionally did she get on egg.
lhe lady at length determined to
watch operations and ascertain if pos-
sible the cause of failure. She saw '
the hens go upon the nest, but if she I
was not present when they came ou no
egg was found. At length! constant
watching and waiting solved the mys-
tery. A day or two since, while on the
watch, a hen came off the nest and
commenced cackling. Almost instant
ly an old rat came out of a hole, and
running into a barrel, which was
thrown down upon its side, and in
which the hen's nest was, at once nosed
the egg out upon the ground, then laid
down upon its back and getting the
egg between its fore paws and nose,
commenced squealing, when two other
rnts came out and taking the rat with
the egg by the hind legs, dragged it.
egg and nil, into the hole. The lady
afhrms that she can substantiate the
foregoing fact by at least three living
witnesses. If any one can tell a more
remarkable rat story than this we
would like to hear it.
Rossiter Johnson has a fresh article
on an old subject, "The Torments of
Typograpy." He gives this good ad
vice as to writing: "It matters little
how ungraceful or clumsy one's chiro-o-rnnhv
mav be : if he uniformly makes
i j j , -a
distinct character for each letter of
the alphabet, it can soon be read with
ease. But there is a good deal of
writing, called elegant, in which such
words as "moreover" nnd "carnivoi
ous" words with no long letters in
them are represented by a mark like
the outline of a row of saw-teeth. You
can only guess them from the context, i
and can only guess the context Irom
its long letters. When it treats ef or
dinary topics, such manuscript can be
used, though it is always an annoyance.
But when proper names technical
terms are written in this way, it be
comes exasperating beyound all en
durance." Of telegraphic blunders he says:
"You can uo more induce a telegraph
operator to forego his indulgence in
these and kindred blunders, than you
can coax, cajole, train, frighten, drive
or hire a provincial compositor to
spell tranquillity with & double ."
In a western villiage a charming,
well-preserved widow had been court
ed nnd won by a physician. She hud
, ., , . .i . i a i
, i. . i , ... , . f. . -v
ed, certainly allowed great "freedom
o,l ..rl.lnl. nTu,.' ni-ont "(,,, l,,,
in debate." The wedding day was ap
proaching, and it was time tho chil
dern should know they were to have a
new fother. Calling the crippled boy
the widow said :
"George, I am going to do some
thing belbro long thai I would like to
talk about with you.
"I am intending to marry Dr. Jones
in a few days, and
"Bully for you, Ma 1 Does Dr. Jones
know it?"
Ma caught her breath, but failed to
articulate a response.
Beautiful is that benevolence which
1 .1 1 . i it s
works silently ana in me simae. yno
of our citizens, says the. New ork
UT' "I " ", ' , " " , " -
tc be mentioned, hus, at the cost ot
$150,000, fitted up a hospital for all
comer of Avenue
n nin'iVn(h Btret The iintientaof
all countries and creeds are welcomed,
entertained without charge, at the ex
pense of the founder. Our best phy
siciuns and surgeons have promised
their attendance also. It is a noble
charity. May God bless the giver and
all who aid iu carrying out his happy
designs.
The members of a church at Kee
waukee, 111., felt so sorry to see Mil
burn, the blind preacher, traveling
around the country lecturing, that they
opened their hearts and offered him
AWW .1 .1 it1. . (
&oi"J a year to locate mere aim prcacn
to them
jjiuuuru couiuu t see n, un-
ing blind. A hundred and fifty dol.
lars a night relieves the tedium of
blinduess better than $ii00 a year.
In one of the pleasant villages in j
Western New-York, the other day, a '
certain worthy housekeeper thought
she would call on her nearest neighbor.
She was about entering the door, but I
hesitated, thinking that tho family
might bo taking supper. "Come io,"
said the hostess, "we are having tab-:
leaux." "Yes," replied tho visitor, '
"I thought I smelt 'em
A man was ioiu oy a clergyman 10
A . Ill-- 1 . A . I
, T , II I lil
roiriKin I titr ji a IV I fit I I a TP I I Mil I It A
: " , . u
1-, n l.nlihlA Atl.Mlfrll aith hlU 11111
with
without
wivf.
remembering other
AN .
if--LINCOLN.
$2 PER ANNUM.
How Poor People Live.
Alexander II., gets $8,250,000
an-
has
Dually, or 825,000 per day, nnd
the ruu of his entire dominion.
1:1
eluding half of Europe, and one-third
of Asia.
Francis Joseph receives 4,000,000
annunliy, or mz,6i per day, with a
largo allowance of beer. Joe has a
family, and the entertainment given
Prussia proved so expensive, that a
little retrenchment has lcen found ne-
ccssary. lie 1ms several pleasant rcsi-
dences in the city nnd country, with
out-houses, stables, wood-house, etc.,
and is said to bo very comiortably
fixed up.
Frederick William is not paid quite
as well as his neighbor over in Austria,
but manages to keep up appearances
on $3,000,000 a year or 88,210 per day.
He is said to suffer for want of funds,
and is iorced to economize.
ictor Jbmanuel manages to get
along tti Italy on 512,4W,UW a year,
oi $7,849 per day, but this is owing to
the tact that the climate being mild in
his dominions be is able to wear cotton
clothes.
Victoria receives only $1,200,000 a
year, or $6,270 per clay ; but she owns
several large dairy farms, and her but
ter and milk command tho highest
price in the London market ; besides,
she supplies the first families with veg
etables. She has married several of
her daughters to men of fine incomes,
who help her to pay little bills when
she finds herself pressed fur change.
Daniel Drew, being on one of his
own steamers not long ago, was accost
ed by a passenger, who took him for
one of the crew with,
"Do you belong to the boat?"
"No, said Uucle Daniel, quietly,
"the boat belongi to me."
A littla girl having learned what a
post-mortem examination was, declar
ed that she would not consent to bo so
dealt with after death.' "What, not if
it would be greatly to the benefit of
those who lived 7 asked her mother.
"No ; how would 1 look goin to heav
en all cut to pieces?"
Thousands of wild geese got lost by
getting into the smoke in Hying over
Pittsburgh, the other day, aud they
flew around there for several hours,
until filially a man came along with a
lantern, when they followed him into
the country.
Mr. Hyde aud Miss Taller, of
Columbus, having been married, and
the "fatted calf" having been killed
in their honor, gives the Lou. Cour.
Jour, an opportunity to air a joke
about "killing cattle for the sake of
the Hyde and Taller."
A dying Irishman, asked by his con
fessor if he whs ready to renouueothe
i devil and all his works, replied
"Don't ask me that ; I'm going to i
strange country, and I don't iti tend to
make myself enemies."
In Nevada a contemplative Digger
'Indian sat watctiuig a party or uaso
ball players, who seemed to him to be
j WOTK i Ilg V
g very hard.
Turning to
"How much
one
of them, he asked,
get in one day?"
you
The other day, two young girls of
Garliuville, Jllinois.bouiid their drunk
en father hand and foot, nnd so kept
him fi,r two days. Ihey linally re
leased hi in on his promising to join the
sons ot lemeruuee.
An editor describing a primitive
! church says, "JNo velvet cushions in
our pews; we uon t go in lor style.
The fattest person has tho softest Beat,
and takes it out with him at the close
ot services."
A Portland man lias sued a barber
, for ei0 000 (iftn,ages for cutting oif his
: mustat.lle. The Isrher apologizes by
saying hedulu t see it.
J
The Boston Post says tho J'Dcmo
cratic platform of 1872 is Victory.'
It uIwuvb is, until election day and
then it isu't.
Sylvanus Cobb, Jr., is supposed to
have written seventy-five miles of
printed matter and yet he is not hap
py I Nor his readers.
A Pittsburgh man has sued his broth'
er to obtain possession of the ambro-
type picture ot their dead sister.
Von Moltke is pestered by applica
tions tor locks of hair, while his head
is billiard balled.
Mme. Dudcvant is said to con torn
pintu the issue ot a daily tewspapcr
ju l uris Willi a stan oi wouiuu-rignters.
A Ciucinnaiiun pawned 1 is watch
and then shot himself. Having part
ed with time he sought eternity.
The Council Bluffs women have do
niaudcd to be registered as voters at
the coming election.
"Order fr'latc" is the judicious nd
vico BiisncnedeJ before certain coal
offices.
Two little Ill'nois boys tried to burn
a church to get rid of going to Sunday
school.
. . . ;,: . r u,i
iiU C 1ST Bill I tC - J UltllKKWUUV W
t . . . . .
at fave o clock iu tho morning.
I
How to raiso beets
tlie tops nnd pnll.
-take Isold o
Rates of Advertising.
One Square (t Inch,) one Insertion ?'
One S'junre one month ' "'
One H')iiare " three month... n fil
OneHiinro " . one year lots)
Two Squares, ono yenr ' 'I'-'
QnnrterCol. " :'
Half " " ' ' 'J"
One " " I-' '-"
nusiness Cards, not exceeding one in j'i
In length, f 10 per year.
Legal notices at established rnto.
These rtdes are low, and no rterln'ion
vill be mndo, or discrimination aimrir
pntrons. Tho rates offered are suvh, v
will make it to the advantage of men di
business in tho limits of the circulation rf
the paper to advertise liberally".
How's this for cats? It a cat doth
meet a cat upon a gnrden wall, and if
a cat doth greet a cat, O, need thfty
both to squall? Every Tommy has his '
Tabby waiting on the wan; and jn:,
he welcomes her nppronch with syn vj.
And if a kitten wish to court upon t!ie
gnrden wall, why don't he sit nnd
sweetly smile, nnd not stand tip and
bawl, lift his precious back up high.nt d
and show lus "teeth and moan, as if
'twere colic more than love that mr i
that fellow groan!
The Warsaw Acto York tells a lit
tle store nt its ovn expense. Recently
it advertised for a copy of its own isaue.
for July 7, to complete a file, and t.n
appreciative lady gubscriber.who care
fully preserves her papers, reminded
the publsher that he had a patriot m
or lazy spasm that week, nnd skipp'-d
one issue because of tho Fourth ofau y,
a circumstance which had entirely
escaped his memory.
Some doctors leave no stone untur
ed to cure patient. Ono in Iowa
gave a woman fourteen kinds of m-;d-inino
tn r-ure the chills. She has been
cold ever since, but she has'nt shook a
shake only when the hearse run over
a stump on the way to the gravo.
Tho doctor has moved away frow
there.
Joseph Holland, of Claremont, N.
II., relates that h3 and 45 of his as
sociates signed the pledge of tot:-.!
abstinance forty years ayo; that he
was tho ouly ouo of the whole number
who kept it, aud that he is to day th
only one alive. This is a very practi
cal argument in favor of temperance.
Ooiln and his wife had a bit of con
tention tho other day. " I own that
rou have moro brilliancy than 1, said
tho woman, "but 1 have the octter
udgment." "Yes," said (Juilp, "your
choice in marriage shows tnnt.
Quilp was informed that he was a
brute.
Tn Albnnv. tho other night, a wo
man met her once husbnnd at a wed
ding party. They bad been divoiued
for ten years, ana naa not met ,
iu all that time. A short chat at sup
per and a little flirtntion aflerwaias .
settled matters, and they were re
married the next day.
"You nust have lived here a long
time," said a traveling Englishman to
an old Oregon pioneer. "Yes, sir, I
have. Do you seo that mountain t
Well, when I came here that mountain
' . . . .i 1 TI,-
was a nolo in tue grounu. a no
Englishman opened his half shut eyes.
As old Van Shroomps was giving
his youngest, who wns inclined to be
lazy, a good cowniuing, me oov enra
out: "Oh, don't ladder, it makes me
smart 1" "Dat's shoost vat I vante,"
said the old man, as he whacked away
with renewed vigor.
"Shall I help you to alight?" said
a youug gentleman, addressing a boun
cing country gill, who was preparing
to jump from a carriage in front
of his oflico. "Thank you, sir,"
sweetly replied the girl, "but I don't
smoke."
An exchange says Ellen Gray, a
pretty servant, living in Ottawa, III.,
committed suicide the other day, bo
cuse she loved Henry Rigden, and
Henry wouldn't love her back. What
was the matter wtih her back?
At a recent charity lecture across
the border the admission tickets had
a text from scripture printed thereon,
"He that giveth to the poor lendeth to
the Lord. Fifty cents. Admit
one!"
A saw mill owner of Vigo county,
Indiana, celebrated his wooden wed
ding recently. His workmen presented
him with 10,000 feet of lumber, and a
neighbor contributed 18 largo poplar
logs.
A rich man named Budd lately died
in London, Leaving $100,000 to his
sons on condition that they shall never
wear moustaches. So citherlhe hairs
or the heirs are nipped in the Budd.
Trousers are worn a little wider at
the knee, a trifle straighter to tho
leg, with a medium spring over tho
boot. Slits at the bottoms are vulgar
and in bad tasto.
Charles XV., Kintj of Sweden and
Norway, grandson ot Gen. Bondotte,
is so dangerously ill that the announce
ment of his death my bo looked for
any day.
A large number of lovers' quarrels
havo been reported in Terre Haute,
because the ungullant swains refused
to invest a two months' salary in to
Nilsson concert tickets.
Let u woman ouce think you uncon
querable, uud unless she is unliko all
other women, she will still try to con
quer you.
St. Louis about t3 become the bury
ing ground of a funny paper. It ill
soou be issued, aud its uamo will bo
luk.
An Iudiana girl finding a man in
her room, nt a hotel, picked hiiu up
and threw him out of tho window.
Lillie is the fashionable name fir
young ladies this year. No family
should he without it.