The Forest Republican. (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, April 04, 1871, Image 1

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    1 Rarest gtrjraMmin.
W. It. DUNN.
3Ulae In Krox's Building. Elm, Street.
IiatC3 of Advcitisinjj.
One Square (1 mc!i,) ono Insertion tl
One S piare " ono month. H oil
One S mare " three mouths..- rt ,,H
OnoS'iuaro 41 0:10 year 10 Wl
Two S.pnrcs, one year i
ijunrt'-r 1.01. --
Half " " is I rn
One " " 1W 01
I'usiness Cnrds, not ex-.-ec.-litifj one Inch
No Subscriptions received for a shorter
period tliim threo ni'iiiliio.
Correspondence solicited from nil parts
flfthe country. No notice will bo tukeu of
an nonymous' communications.
Marriages and Death noticoi Inserted
In lontli, $10 per year.
" Let U3 havo Faith that night makes Iliht ; and Id that Faitli lot U3 to tho cud, daro do our duty a3 wo understand it."--LINCOLN,
Legal notices at .established rates.
Tl,,.. ., .... I u.i l',,i- t,t,.1 iki ilnviattnh
.vill be made, or discrimination anionic
lalnins. The rates olIcr d arc such, w
ill make it to the advantajfflof men dot f I n the limits of the circulation of
VOL. IV. NO. 1.
the iiicr to advertise liberailv.
-1 1?13
I. O. CK T.
feet erory "Wednesday ovoninfr, at S
ll u clock.
W. It. DUNK, W. C. T.
M. XT. TATE, W. S.
41 rt, TIONESTA, PA.
Isaac Ash,
Forest County. All business entrusted to
aU care will recoive prompt attaint, a.
10 lr
IV. K. Lathy,
Tolt IN ItA N K KTPTCY, Tioncsta,
, Forest Co., Pn., will practice In Clarion,
Vcnanirnand Warren Counties. Oftlce on
Kim Street, two doors above Lawrence's
grocery iitoro. tf.
V. W. Mason,
ATTORNEY AT I, AW. Office on Elm
Street, aljovo Wnlnut, TionpMtn, IH.
C W. Gllfillan,
nango Co., Pa. tf.
. . N. B. Smlloy,
TTORXEY aT LAW, Petroleum Con-
A tre, I'b. Will practice in the aevcral
Courts of Forest County, !!51y
. . Holmes House,
jnIONESTA, PA., opposite the iepnt.
A C. D. Maine, Propriotor. Hood Sta
klintj connected with the house.
Jos. Y. Saul,
PRACTICAL Ilnr'ncsa Maker and Sad
dler. Threo doora north of Holmes
House. Tlonesla: I'a. All work in war
ranted, tf.
x Syracuse House,
TMPIOUTF. Pa.. J. A T) M aokk, Propio
1, torn. The house lias been thoroughly
refuted and is now in the first-class order,
illi the best of accommodations. Any
nforniation concerning Oil Territory at
thin point will be checrrullr rurtusiieii.
-ly J.Jtn.MAilEE,
Kxchange Hotel,
nwrn TinrntlTr P. . TV H. Ilixa
J J xijcri. A Pod Prop'a. This house harini;
neenrentea is now ine mwnimini"ui(i-
in place- In Tidioute. A good Milliard
Room attached. c;
National Hotel,
TRVINKTOX, PA. W. A. llallenback,
Proprietor. This hotel la Ntw, and Is
,iw open as a first class hnuno, situate at
ne junction of the Oil Creek A Alleirheny
tivcrand Philadelphia A Erie Railroads,
pposilethe I'eoot. Parties bavins to lay
ver trains will rind tliin the most conven
ent hotel in town, with first-class aceom-
MiodHiions and reasonable charge, tf.
Tim Sons & Co.'a
NEW F.NOINKS. Theundersiirnedtiave
lor sale and will receive orders for the
above Knjrino. Messrs. Tilll Sons A Co.
are now hemline to this market their 1--llorse
Power Kngino w ith 1 1-1 lorsc Power
Jloiler peculiarly a'iaited to deep wells.
t wks at Duncan A Challnnt , dealers
In Well Matures, Hardware, Ac, MainSt.
' Bxt dir ( Chase Hons", Pleaiautvilre,
and at Mansion House, Titusrille.
tf. K. P.KIITT A SUN, Agents.
Jolr K. Hallock,
ATTORNEY AT LAW and Solicitor or
Patcnts.No. M' 1'reneh street! opposite
Reod House) Erie: Pa. Will practice In
tliH'Veral State Courts and the United
States Courts. Special attention piven to
aolicltlr- patents for Inventors.; infringe
ments, re-lsne and extension of patents
-vefllllv attended to. References: Hon.
'James Campbell, Clarion; Hon. John H.
Met 'almoin. Krunklin; 11. L. A A. H.
Richmond, Meadvillp; W, E. Lathy. Ti
oneitta.. a ?
Dr. J. L. Acoiryb,
pttYHICTAN AN1 Rl'ROEON, who has
I had fifteen vears' exMriencein s laie
and Huecessfuf prwtice, will attend all
Professional Calls, dftlee in his Drun and
tirocery Store, located in lidioutc, near
Tidioute lWnisc.
A full assortment of Medicines, Liquors
Tobaeco, Citrars, Stationery, tilass, Paints,
Oil, Cutlery, and line (iroceries, all of the
best quality, aut will be aold at reasonable
, H. R. BURf! ESS, an experienced Priig
flHtfrom New York, has charge of the
Store. All prescriptiunaput upaccuratel v.
tf. . . "
.- W. P. Mercilllott,
AtlorHpy at Law,
Tioneata, Forest Co., Pa..
This Rank ti ansai u, a (leneral Ranking,
CoUectiiij: and Kxi hanire HiiMincss.
Dia'.ls on the Principal Cities of the
United Slates and Europe bought and sold.
Hold and Silver Coin and tiovcrniiicnt
Securities bought knd sohl. 7-'.0 li.xids
toiivetted on the most I'avoiahle tcriiis.
Interest allowed on time deposits.
Mar. 4, tt.
D7l. J. X. IIOLARH, of Tidioute, lias
returnsd to hid practice, alter an ab
sence of lour mouths, spent in tint Ho pi
lalsot'Ncwv York, where ' will uttind
calls in his profession.
Oflico in Eureka, I'ruj? Store, 3d door
ibove the bank, Tid'oute, Pa. 4ic.f
$10 MAl,i rn,,M ro U1'8-
S imethlnar urgently neciled by eveibody
Call and 'Xauiiue, or sau.ples wMit postairo
raid tor .'m els that retail easily lur lo. U,
at the Store of
D. S. KNOX, & CO.,
Elm St., ionesta Pa.
We are in daily receipt o, the .rgestand
which wo arodctrrmined to sell regardless
of prices.
House Furnlbhtng Goods, Iron, Nails,
Machine tools, Agricultural Implements,
Ac, At,, Ac, which we offer at greatly re
duced prices.
of all kinds,
ES, Ac., Ac, Ac,
In ENDLESS VARIETY. Call and see,
MlXtl, 'I ho handsomest and cheapest
work extent. It has so. .,etliinu In it ofthe
best for cverv one, for the old, tho mid-dlc-aod
and the younjr and mils' become
universally popular. Kxecptin:; tho Hible
this will be the bonk most loved and tho
mcst frepientiy referred to in the family.
Every pajre Inis parsed under tho critical
eye of the -Teat p st,
Rare chance for best ayrcnts. The only
l"!-.k 01 its Kind ever sol.! by subscription.
Send at mco lor circulars, ,vc, to
;i",o. MACLEAN, Publisher,
3G--U 719Suusom St., Philadelphia, Pa.
SEASON OF 1879-71.
Important Improvers oris.
Patent Juno 21st and August 2'ld. 1870.
The Mason A Hamlin Orcan Co., have
the pleasure of announcing important im
provements in their Cabinet Urunna, for
which Patents were granted them in June
and Auiiust last. Tlieso are not merely
meretricious attachments, tmt enhance the
substantial excellence of the instruments.
'J'hev are also enabled bv increased facil
ities a lanre now inannl'act'iry, they hope
hercatter to supply all orders promptly.
The Cabinet Organs uncle by tin Com
pany are of sunli universal reputation, not
only throughout America, but also in Eu
rope, that few w ill need assurance of their
Thev now offer four Octave Cabinet Or
gans, in iiiiteplaiin.ases.butequal accord
ing to their capacity to any thing they make
for fV) each.
The same. Dnub'e Ree. IS. Five Oc
tavo Double Reed Organs, Five Sups,with
Knee swell ami Tremulant, 1" cleiiaut fse
with several of the Mason and llamli.1
improvements, Hi.S. The sa;no Extra
with new Vox lluman i. Automatic Swell
etc., $l;-0. 1'ivoOctnves, three sett' Reeds,
seven stops with Euphonc; a splendid in
struments, A new illustrated catalog-no with fu'l
Information, and repuced prices, is n.''
ready, and vil be scut free, wall a tcsti
Iil' iiial circular, presenting a ureal muss of
evidence as to the superiority of these in
struments, to any one seiiilinu' his address
Tremonl Street, Itostuii, os o'M llroadway,
N. Y. :t"-n
i.t O P. M. Er,i!it mi l Aeo nnm id.ition
hiVr -":-r''J v" " " '
i.v Ituv. T. I'li Witt Tai.maou,
The nmst Popular Preacher in America.
Agents wanted every w here, luulu or fe
male, to sell this nival w ork, is belter than
Mark Twain, slid no trouble to kell. llitf
Prolils. Send lor terms and illustrated IJ
pane circular, Evans, M.nhlart .V Co., Pub
lishers, No. 710 Sausoui t., Philadelphia.
A Wild Ctt Story of Western Hang
ing. Several ypttis ngn, wlicn the West
was a comparatively new country, nn
individual prescntril liimsclf tit tiie
door of a log grocery, in tlie snttlclncnt
of which we write, and aked if there
was ajtulpc in the place. Uponhellig
inf'urmnd thnt the store-keeper himself
was a jtidp;, the stranger proceeded :
"Well. Judsre. vou see the facts of
tho enso is tins : 1 wns trayelin' alon
with a ri:irdiier down here a piece, an'
he plimved mo a silver dollnr which he
I had. Well, I wiitittd the money, and
i . ....... 11 i
ho wastl t InoKin 1 poppeo nun miner
tho enr with my pistol. Theu I took
his Bilver and tohaeker ami cum along
alone; hut I got to thinkin' the matter
over, and I don't think I did just the
rivJit thi..g by inv pardner. My con
liuns has been truublin' me, an I I
think I ought to be hung. Nov,Judf'e,
if it wouldn't he too much trouble I'd
like to have you try tne pretty soon
and have tne hung. If you doubt the
facts iti the case, there's the dollar I
took front my pardner, and you'll find
his remains down the road a piece, tin
,ler a log. I'll feci obliged to you,
.Iudj,e, if you will have me hung."
The judge told the stranger Jo make
himself comfortable at tho hotel until
he couhl send .-some men down the road
to investigate the matter, and if they
found the body he would call a jury
and try the stranger, as wae desired.
Tho dead man being found, the judge
summoned a jury and sent word to
the stranger at the hotel, that if he
would step over to the Rtore they would
give him it trial.
The stranger appeared immcdeately,
shook hands with the judge and jury,
invited the court to take a drink, and
appeared grateful and satisfied with
the proceedings.
The trial proceeded socially, and the
tenderhearted jury brought in a ver
dict of guilty of manslaughter in the
first degree. A look of anxiety, which
the stranger had woru up to this time,
faded fro in his face as he stood up to
receive his sentence. "You have ocen
found guilty," faid the judge, "of the
crime of manslaughter, fot which you
are undoubtedly penitent." Here the
stranger again began to get anxious
and uneasy.
"And it," proceeded the judge, "it
meets with your approbation, we will
try to htiiig you next Sunday morning,
at 11 o'clock a. m. In the meantime
try to make youself as comfortable at
the hotel as possible."
The stranger looked a little sad, and
the Judge asked him if he wasti't sat
isfied ? If there was anything ho could
do for him ?
"Judge, I hate to bo particular and
AiMy," taid the stranger, "but bavin'
the ag-r an' fever, the chills come on
at 10 o'clock in the mornin', an' if ymi
could have me swing off before that I
sImuU f'e4 obliged."
"Of course," sai.l the Judge, "wo
always respect a party's feel 'tigs. No
troublo at all. Come round at 9
o'clock, atnl may be we'll get through
before church time."
Sunday morning at 9 o'clock the
stranger came out of the hotel and
proceeded to the grocery. There he
met a deputation of citizens, one of
whom threw a lariat over the limb of
a tree, and, as soon as the stranger had
taken a chew of tobacco mid shaken
bauds all round, they hauled him up.
A certain professor was note 1 for
having a certain set illmtratious, from
which he could not well deviate with
out running the risk of a blunder. In
illustrating the powerful eflccts ot
pru&dt: acid, he was wont to inform
the class that a drop placed on n dog's
tongue was sufficient to kill him. On
one occusion, when lecturing to his
class, he said :
"Mr. Smith," addressing a young
man w hse chance of passing was very
slender, "w'iRt can you say of prussic
acid? It it powerful or otherwise?'
"It is rather powerful," said the stu
dent, dubiously.
"Rather powerful 1" said tho profes
sor, indignantly. "Put a drop on your
tongue and it will kill a dog."
The shout of laughter which follow
ed, and Smith's confusion, revealed to
tho professor that his illutral:on br.d
served a double purpose.
There is a story in the Des Moines
Register about un Ohio girl who came
to Mu.-eat.ino in the spring of 1 ($(!!,
,snd in the full enlisted in the 24lh
Io.'va Iniantry, in which regiment t-he
rservi 'd till the close of the war. Then
she wei.'t back to her fathers house,
where she v"8 received with open arms,
but never sa.:'l anything about her war
history; l in vested several hundred
of lu r savings in Northern Iowa hind,
and became rich; a member of her
own regiment fell in '"ve with her,
never dreaming that she had fought
at his side, so ch.i'igcd was her appear
ante; but si. e t ll him her history and
they were married. Then hc told her
father about her military cured", and
he didn't believe her; but lie visited
Ics Moines, consulted Gen. Baker and
tho records, and found that ir M
j Why do we admire the pretty feet
of a maiden? Because nllV well that
I ends well.
Kiss My Vife or Fight.
There are a few married men who
are not averse to seeing their wives
kitf'ed, but a correspondent relates the Kpintcd debate on the lull to prohibit
particulars of a cuso in which a new ly- crinoline, introduced by Mr. Aikens.
wedded Benedict felt himself insult- We publish a fuw of the most brilliant
cd because his wife was not kissed. 1 passages.
The bridegroom was a stalwart young i Mr. Drummond was an ardent ad
rustic, who was known as a formidable tuircr of hoops from childhood, lie
operator in a "free light." His bride was born with a love of hoops. When
was a beiiutilu! and blooming country
girl, only sixteen years of age, and the
twain were at a party where a number
of young folks id' both sexes were en-
joying tlieihtelvee in the gcKid old-fash-
loiied id vie. J',vcrv ifirl in the room
was called out and k.ssed, except it.,
the beautiful young bride aforesaid;!
and, although there was not a young-
ster who was not dying to taste her'
lips, they were restrained bv the pre- ;
sence of her iierculean liusLaiul, who
stood regarding the pirly with a look
of sullen dissatisfaction. They, how
ever, mistook the cause, for suddenly
he expressed himself:
Rolling tip his sleeve, ho stepped
into the middle of the room, and in a
tone of voice that at once secured
marked attention, said :
"Gentlemen, I have been noticing
how things have been working hefe
for some time, and I ain't sati.-ficil. I
don't wan't to raise a fuss, but ''
"What is the matter, John ?" inquir
ul half a dozen voices. "Have wo
done anything to offend yon?"
"Yes, you have; all of you have
hurt my feelings, and I have got just
this to say about it. Here's every girl
in the room has been kissed nigh a
dozen times apiece, and there's my
wife, who I consider as likely as any
of 'em, has not had a single one to
night; and I just tell you now, if she-,
uou t get as many kisses the rest of
the night as any other girl in the room,
the man that slights her has got me to
lick that's all. Now gu ahead with
your plays."
Seeing is Believing.
A notorious scamp was once brought
before an Onondaga justice of the
peace. lie was accused of having
"come the strap game" over a native.
The portly justice, wishing to decide
uiiderstaiiiliugly, nskkiLlo fee a sample
of his skill. "The party" instantly
produced a leather strap, gave it a
scientific whisk across the table and
remarked :
"You see, judge, the quarter under
the strap?"
"What!" interrupted the dignified
functionary ,"do you mean to say there
is a quarter under there?"
"Sartiti!" was the reply.
"No such thing," said the justice.
"I'll go you n dollar un it," exclaim
ed the prisoner.
"Agiecd !" said the justice.
With accustomed adroitness the
strap was withdrawn, when lo! there
was the quarter.
"Well," said the astonished Shallow,
"1 should nut huvo believed it if I had
not seen it with my own eyes. Here
is your dollar, and you are fined five
dollars for gambling, contrary to the
statute in such ease made and provid
ed. '
The eloni'tited countcnanco of the
I eumbler leuiiii'td no additional evi-
dience to testily his appreciation of
"lbs sell."
It is no mark of a gentleman to
swear. The most worthless and vile,
the refi so of mankind, the drunkard
and prostitute swear, as well as the; Bavaria was eaten up by pauperism
best dressed and educated gentlemen, and beggary, in town and country.
No particular end wmciits are rcqtiis. This had long been the despair of her
ite to give a finish to tho art of curs- ministers of state and religion. It
ing. The basest and meanest of man- ' was reserved for an adventurer from
kind swear with as much tact and Bkill , beyond seas to free the stale from these
as the most refined ; a:id he who wish- i cleaving mischiefs. Thompson laid
es to degrade himself to the lowest It is plans so wisely and look his pre
level of pollution and shame, should ' cautions so prudently, that the miracle
learn to be a common s-carer. Anv was accomplished in one day. On the
man has talents enough to learn to
curse God, and imprecate perdition on
themselves and their fellow men. Pro
lane swearing ncv-cr did any man nny
good. No man is the richer, or wiser,
or hamiier for it It helps no man's
'education or manners ; recommends
no otic to uny society. It is disgust
lug to the refined ; abominable to the
good ; ins'ilting to t!ioso with whom
we associate ; degrading to the mind;
l nprofitable, needless, ami injurious
to society; and wantonly to profane
His call His vengeance down,
to curs j Htm, and to invoke His ven
geance, is, perhaps, of till ntl'discs, the
must awful in the sight of God. Louth.
The following letter, nddie.-sed to a
trenlleman of llarrisburg speaks for
Sl mni.:: City, Kansas,
March 7, 1871.
DtiAIi Sir: We have just organized
Sumner county. We have ()) inhab
itants in Sumner county. There are
VU bachelors in Sumner county.
Could there be that number of good,
industrious single ladies of your State
induced to come to Sumner county,
Kansas? If so, I think they can find
good, honest, hard workin-' husbands.
Yours, Ac. . .
Tho t.I'n.pi Toy Napoleon tjs
that his return to France U only a
question of iii. und tine s jl,uer or
lat r he bS rec.rH 0 p-er.
Legislating on Hoops.
In the Canadian limine of Assem-1
bly, sonic time since, they had quite a .
lie was a child ot tender growth lie
used to trundle his hoop, all uncoiu
scions of the fate that was in store for
him. Later in life he swallowed a ring
which resulted in a whooping cough,
and even now llio eight ot an empty
hogshead bought tears to his eyes,
Mr. Brown complained that it was
impossible now to choose a wife, since
her defects were so hidden by hoops
and enveloped tu cnno. iie that the
Speaker Order.
Mr. Brown Mr. Speaker.
Speaker The honorable gentleman
is out of order.
Mr. Brown But, Mr. Speaker, the
Speaker Hold your tonge, sir.
Mr. brown llie naked
Speaker Upon my soul, Brown, si
lence, or I'll have you arrested.
Mr. Br iwn IVrtnit tne to explain,
Mr. Speaker. When I said the naked
Speaker ( yclling)-Olear the galle. ies
of ladies, Mr. Sergeant.
Mr. Brown In tho name of the
seventeen grace and fifteen muses, Mr.
Speaker, let mo apologize. I only
meant to say that hoops and crinoline
had reached 1 to such a rotundity that
it was impossble to nnive at the naked-Speaker
(frantically') Death and
blue devils! Stop, or I'll brain you
with the mace. Consider the inipro
pt iety of
Brown (wildly) Truth! truth!
truth! Naked truth was what he was
going to say.
Mr. Dunbar Ros.i understood li'ts
honorable friend to say that the peo
ple friend to say that the people could
not pass along the streets without be
ing assaulted by highwaymon. Now,
surely, the honorable member Lake
Ontario could not but be aware thnt
the character of every member of the
House was uticcted by such dam
Mr. Talbot objected to such unpar
liamentary language.
Mr. Ross protested against interrup
tion. He was going to say dam
Mr. Cameron The Innorable mem
ber should not swear in that dreadful
Mr. Ross Wasn't doing anything
ot kind, but Would bo tempted to do
So if not allowed to fini-li his sentence
but such a dam order, order !1 a
dam contusion he would repeat it
bv such dam tremendous uproar.
Mr. Wright stood ii) and moved,
moid the wildest confusion, that Mr.
Ross be expelled from the House for
such awful language.
Mr Ro.-s( black in the face) exclaim
ed that damaging statements was till
that he meant to say when he was in
terrupted bv 11 foul
Mr. Talbot Who's n fool ?
Mr. Ross Foolish ass
Mr. Cameron Who's an ass?
Mr. RossFool'teli assertions of pro
fanity. t
How Count Rtmford Freed Bavaria
of becgars.
morning ol llie 1st ot January, K.hi,
the hosts of beggary went forth in
their strength to spoil the land. Be
forj night they were all under arrest
Htid the next morning humanely pro
vided fiir. The helpless and impotent
were more comfortable than they had
ever been before, while the sturdy and
able-bodied were set to work nod made
useful members of society. Ami this
was done with so much discretion and
wist) humanity, that no vestu.i interest
or even prejudice was disturbed, while
the whole population breathed freer at
being released fr ui this odious burden
Even the ancient guid o' beggars Was
so tenderly dealt with, that tli y bless
ed the ihungi! which hud abolished it;
ami on one occasion when their bene-
fact r was ill, they w
to the cathedral t" oil
lit in procession
r up prayers for
his recovery
and on
another, they
Set apart an
hour every dav
lor i oe
i. . i..
same service in ins lichait.
Month!'', iit April.
"Loll--cog igculeii
writes a younjr
of fashion,
lady, ".no going out
vouir' men b iie' at last
ihe stoniilitv id' niuking matrimo
engagement's until thev are in a posi
tion lo fulfill their promihu at once.
el5rid .ct.what has became of the
II I i' reused my W"h
Ullow I km .ul I y ,nll.k wheat
"".,r" ' " "O 1
I had waited
Sixteen Reasons.
A writer in one of our exchanges
gives the following plain and forcibl i
reasons for abstinence from the use of
intoxicating liquors as a beverage. It
is a view (ninct i' lied bolh'by religion
and common sctife :
1. ISecauso ale, porter, gin, rum,
brandy, etc., all contain a spirit which
is calculated to derange the human
1. Uecntiso none ot these drink?, ns
an habitual beverage, are ever useful,
but always injurious to persons in
health, and ninny professing Christians
both young and old, have been rub.ed
by thcin
3. Because drunkenness is a beset
ting sin, and leads to idleness, quar
relling, swearing, fighting, stealing,
adultery, murder, and almost every
other sin, and liualiy to eternal nitse
4. Because drinking produces pover
ty, bankruptcy, destruction ot pro
perty, loss of reason, disease and pre
lum u re death
5. Because a great deal of valuable
time, labor and capital, are worse than'
wasted upon making, vending and us
ing these drinks.
0. over seventy millions of
money, being more than the whole rev
enur.are annually expended upon them
ill the United Kingdom, which ought
to bo laid out iu loud and manufac
tures. 7. Because nearly six millions of
bushels of good grain are annually
destroyed in this Christian land to
make those liquors, while the markets
are high and many of the poor are
8. Because intemperance obstructs
the progress of civilization, education,
the religion tf Jesus, and every use
ful reform.
9. Because abstinence is sure and
safe, but drinking moderately is dan
gerous, and has lend to all the drunk
enness in the world.
10. Because I find I cannot effect
ually warn the drunkard, or set him
example, unless I niu myself an en
tire abstainer. "
11. Because I like to join those who
are exerting themselves to promote the
temporal and spirital reformation and
happtnestuif man.
VI. Because tt is important to set a
safe example of perfect sobriety to our
children, friends and associates.
13. Because it is our Christian duty
to deny ourselves even of lawful things
to promote the happiness of others.
14. Because, while millions in time
and eternity have repented of drink,
ing, not one has ever repented of ab
10. Uerausp. while no blessing is
prom unced upon drinking, God's ap
proval is frequently recorded in favor
ol abstinence. xxxv ; Lame
i, 15: Rom. xiv,21; I'rov. xx, 1.)
lli. Because 1 should be a- hamed to
touch, taste, handlu, or keep in my
house, the article which is filling the
laud with dissipation, vice, poverty,
misery, lamentation and woe.
Too Poo".
M iore.of the Rural New-Yorker,was
sitting in his olh'co, one afternoon,
some years ag", when a farmer friend
came in a mi said : "Mr. Moore, I like
your paper, but times are so hard I
cannot pay for il."
"Is that so, friend Jones? I'm very
snrry to In ur that you lire so poor;
if you are so hard run I w ill give you
my paper."
"Oh, no! I can't take it as a gift."
"Well, then, let's, see how wu can
fix it. You raise chichens, I believe."
"Yes, a fe.w, but they don't bring
anything, hardly."
"Don't they? Neither does my paper
cost anything, hardly. I will continue
your paper, und when your g; homo
you may select from your lot one
chicken and call her mine. Take
good care of her and bring mo the pro
ceeds, whether in egtrs or chickens,
und we will call it square,"
"All right, brother Moore;" and
the obi fellow chuckled at what he
thought a capital Imvgan. He kept
the contract strictly, and at the end
of the year found that he hail pit id
about four prices for Ida paper. He
often tells the joke on himself, and
say.-, he never hud the face to say he
w as too pour to take a paper since that
The fiillow'ng is told of a young soci
ety cent'.emuii, who graduated from
Harvard: at tho examination of phy
sics ho was a.-ked : "Mr. , What
1 planets were known to the ancients?"
I rc. podi d, " Ti.c-ru were Venus
i ,,, Jupiter, and
ailcr a pause,
but 1 atu not quite
I think the Furtl
An man, sent'-iced to be
haiiL'.-d. is in a bad wav. The neigh-
Inline? carnciiler refused to build the
gallovs, ami tho Sherilf doi.'t know
how. The prisoner isa carpenter him
self, and the Sherilf has tried sev-
I times to have him build it, but
he say"lVll bo hanged if he will
Almost any young b'dy haspubiie
spirit enough to he willing to have
i i' .1 . I A .......I !'.. a ....iir.
j her lumcr t uuum uws " .....-
A Practical Joke.
The Congrcgatiomtlitt has an anec
dote : A tew days ago two young men
went from Massachusetts to Jlarttord
to make a visit. They were excellent
in every way, and carried little relig
ious cards in their pockets with suita
ble niottos, in order lo sow seed by the
wayside. They were very anxious to
see' Dr. Bushnell, and yet did not feel
bold enough to call on the great man.
The relative whom they wjre visiting,
was engaged in one of the banks, and
told them that the doctor was in the
habit of dropping in there pretty oft
en ; and that, in fact, he must come
in soon, as there was some money await
ing him. One morning while the two
were in the bunk, thinking that perhaps
the Doctor might happen in an elder
ly man with a felt hat, put on rather
slouchdy, a grayifh black suit, a big
oak walking slick, and tho air of a
well-to-do and Id nil", outspoken farmer
came in as though he belonged there,
and received a thick roll of greenbacks
from the cashier. They had that vile
smell which money much handled gets,
and the old gentleman (it was Dr.
Bushmill) began in Ins sharp way to
jerk out something about this "filthy
ctirrrency, and lo stigmatize it who
terms a good deal mote turcible limn
legant. lhe young men looked at
the chlerlv one with a good deal ot
commiseration, and overhauling the.r
eliirious cards, nicked out one, and ap
proaching him, put it into his hand. It
contained the word?, "Are your
thoughts sure?" What the doctor
thought can hardly be imagined, nut
we can conjecture w hat the young men
thought, when thoir friend came out
from behind the counter, unconscious
of what hud passed, and introduced .
them to tho Rev. Dr. liushueli, oi
whose piety they had heard so much,
and whom'they" so greatly desired to
see. History "drops tho veil on - the
scene at just this point.
Gunpowder. ,
When gunpowder. was first discover
ed to possess a projectile power, ib
military application was confined to a
kind of mortar or bombard,, intended
as a substitute for the enormous batter
ing machiiHS then usually constructed.
'I ho commencement of the fifleentTr"
century was the time of their origin
in the "field ; for though the more mod
ern author, Vilani, asserts that they
w ere used at the battlo of Crcssy, the
more accurate Froissart is enterely si
lent abont them. Bilius, a noble and
learned Milanese, who lived at tho
time, speaks in his history of hand
guns as tir,H used at the seige of Lucca
in 14150. The Florentines had artille
ry which discharged lame stones by
means of gunpowder. "But the Luc
ehese," says Bilius, "besides darts and
nrrnu'd lovi- nted a new kind of weap
on ; in their hands they held a kind of
club, about a cubit and a half in
length; t this we-ro attached iron
tu' cs, which, being filled with sulphcr
and uitre, bv the force of fire emitted
iron balls. 'The blow, if it struek.wiis
certain destruction neither armour
nor shields were sufficient protection,
for often two or three dep, if fired up
on, would be transpierced bv a single
"A Large Contract.".
A pretty good story is told of him"
self (siys the Boston Traveler) by a
season ticket holder on the Boston and Railroad a wide-awake, jolly,
genc.-ous, joke-loving gentleman, Dem
ocrntiu in his politcs and liberal in his
religion. Riding in a horse car a short
time since, with the Catholic priest of
his village, who has been active in try
ing to induce IdsfocU to become tem
perate, ho familiarly addressed him iu
language soractiiing as follows : "Fath
er , you a.e doing a pretty g d
work jtift now I don't know hut you
are doing as much good ao all the oth
er clergymen in town." The priest
quietly replied that he was doing whet
he could to improve his people. "I'll
tell you whut it is," continue!) the gen
tleman, "I have been thinking about
utteiiding your church, but was afraid
it would cost too much to get all my
sins partitioned." "Oh," said the
priest, "we can manage your case ;
when we have a very large contract we
make a liberal discount I the laugh-
tt that followed thu response only
closed when the cars reached tho end
of thir route. And the cuptain lauutis
over the story us he repeats it until lliia
An optical illusion. A chandler
h.ivin;; had some catidlcs stolen, a
per.-oii bid him be of good cheer, "for,
in a short time," said he,"they will all
coiiui to light."
Lu lies want to be employed as post
office clerks. One of their strangest
recommendations is that they will
secure greulor regularity in tho arrival
of males.
A young man being asked why the
hair on the top of his head was so thin,
exclaimed, "The trills pulled U out
. . i " i ...
pulling tne in iu wiu w union,
A fence in Detroit bears the inscrip
tion : "For tore eyes or piles, rea'l
thc 7V'A?ia"