Rates of Advertising.
One Square (1 Inch,) one Insertion. ...ft SO
OneSiUsre " one month 0
W rUBLUntD ETERT TUESDAY, BT
W. R. DUNN.
3ms In Krox's Building, KUny Street
b OKEST
REPUBLICAN.
Une Square " throe months... o to
One Square " one year 10 00
Two Squares, one year IS t
Quartwr Col. " SO 00
Half " " .60 00
One " " 100 00
TEItMS, 2.00 A YEAR.
No Subscription received lor a shorter
period than throe months.
Correspondence solicited from all part
of tti country. No notice will be taken of
asnonymous communication.
Marrlagoa and Doath notice Inserted
gratis.
Business Cards, not exceeding one incu .
In length, $10 per year. .
" Let us have Faith that Right makes Might ; and in that Faith let us to the end, dare do our duty as we understand if-LINCOLN.
Legal notices at established rate. ,
These rates are low, and no deviation
.vlll be inmle, or discrimination among
( strons. The rates offered are such, v
.till malm II t it lh. it1 vantjurn nf men flfii -f
VOL. III. NO. 50.
, TIONESTA, PA., TUESDAY, MARCH 28, 1871.
$2 PER ANNUM.
business in the limits of the circulation nt
tne paper to advertise liberally.
BUSINESS DIRECTORY.
TIONKSTA LODOK, NO. 477,
I. O. Gk T.
Meets every Wednesday renin, at I
o'clock.
W. R. DUNN, W. C. T.
M. W. TATE, W. 8.
e, wtok rami. milk w. tats.
PKTTIJ TATE,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
Mtm StriH, TIOJTSSTA, FA.
Isaac Ash,
ATTORN KT AT LAW, (Ml Cltr, Pa.
Will prartloe hi the various Court of
Forest Cnnnt.r. All business entranted to
Mi rare will receive prompt attention.
KIT
W. K. Latter,
ATTORNKT AT I.A W AND SOLICI
TOR IN BANKRTPTCY. Tlonesta,
Koreat Co., Pa., will practice in Clarion,
Venango and VVarren Counties. Office on
Elm Htront, two door a bore La wren-e s
grocery store, tf.
W. W. Mason,
TTORNET AT LAW. Office on Elm
L Street, above Walnut, Tlonesta, Pa.
C. W. Gilflllan,
ATTORNEY AT LAW, TrankUn, Ve
aango Co., fa. tf.
N. B. Smiley,
ATTORNEY kT LAW, Petroleum Cen
tre, Pa. Will practice in the aeveral
Courts of Forest County.
S5-ly
' Holmes House,
HMONESTA, PAj opposite the Depot.
1 C. D. Mable, Proprietor. Good Kta-
tiling connected with the bouse. tf.
Jos. Y. Saul,
PRACTICAL Harneea Maker and Sad
dler. Three doors north of Holmes
Mouse, Tionostt, Pa, All work la war.
ranta.1. tf.
Syracuse House,
T1DIOUTP", Pa., J. A D Maokb, Propie
tors. The house baa been thoroughly
refitted and ia now in the nrst-cless order,
with the best of aoeomraodationa. Any
nformation concerning Oil Territory at
this paint will be oheorKilly furnished,
ly J. AD. MAUEB,
' Exchange Hotel,
LOWER TIDIOUTE, Pa., D. 8. Rams
naat. A Ho Prop's. This house having
been rented is now the most desirable stop
ping plane in Tidioute. A good Billiard
Jloo.n. attached. -ly
National Hotel,
TRVINETON, PA. W. A. Hallenback,
Proprietor. Thla hotel ia Naw, and la
Ow open as a first elsss honse, situate at
reJnnctlon of the Oil Creek A Allegheny
stiver and Philadelphia A Erie Railroads,
ppoaite the Depot. Parties having to lay
ver trains will And this the most oonven
nt hotel in town, with first-class accom
modation and reasonable "hararea. tf.
TiCtt Sons A Co.'s
NEW ENGINES. The undersigned have
for sale and will receive orders for the
above Engine. Messrs. Tifll Hons A Co.
are now sending to this-market thnir 12
Ilorsa Power Engine with 14-IIorse Power
Hoiler peculiarly adapted to deep wells.
OrricKs st Duncan A Chalfant'a, dealers
In Well Fixtures, Hardware, c, Main St.
next door to Chase House, Pleasanlville,
and at Mansion House, Titusville.
tf. K. BRETT 4 SO1 A gents.
. jonn nauot
ATTORNEY AT LAW and Solicitor of
Jl Patnta,No. 66ft French strootloppoalte
Reed House) Erie, Pa. Will practice in
the several State Courts and the United
MtaU-s Courts. Mpeoial attention given to
soliciting patents for Inventors ; infringe
went, re-issue and extension of patents
0refu)ly attended to References: Hon.
Jame Campbell, Clarion; Hon. John H.
McCalmont. Franklin; H. L. A A. H.
RichmondMeaavUlo; W. E. Lathy. Ti
ouestav. , a 7
Dr. J. I Acorrb,
PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON, who has
had fifteen years' experience in a large
and auoceesfuf practice, will attend all
Professional Calls. Ofllee in his Drug and
Orooery (Store, located in Tidioute, near
Tidioute House.
IN HIS STORE WILL BE FOUND
A full assortment of Medicines, Liquors
Tobacco, Cigars, Stationery, Glass, Paints,
Oils. Cutlery, and fine Groceries, all of the
beat equality, and will be sold at reasonable
rates.
U. R. BURGESS, an experienced Drug
It 1st from New York, has charge of the
-J tore. All prescription put up accurately.
W, P. Mercilllott,
Attorney at Law.
HEAL ESTATE AG EXT.
TI 0 NEST A, PA.
17-1
MHN 4. DALI. PRUT.
OMNA. PSOPIR, VICIFRCST. A. H.tTIILt, CASH a,
TIOlsTEST-A.
SAVINGS BANK,
Tioncsta, Forest Co., Pa.
Thla Back transacts a General Banking,
Collecting and Kxclmngu business.
Dralls on the Principal Cities of th
United States and Europe bought and sold.
Gold and Silver Coin and Government
Securities bought and sold. 7-30 Bonds
converted on the most fuvoruble terms.
Interest allowed ou time deposits.
Mar. 4, tf.
NOTICE.
in, J. n. ouiiiiw, vi MKiiouie, nas
XJ returnsd to his practice alter an ab
sence of four months, spout ill the Hospi
tals of New York, where will atUmd
calls in his profession.
office in Eureka Drug Store, 3d door
tbove the kauk, Tidioute, Pa, 4Ulf
$10
MADE FROM
50 (J
i'S.
Humothing urgently needod by everybody
Cull and examine, or suu.ples sent postage
aid tor 60 cts th:t retail easily for J HI. R.
L- m Cfctrtirm t-.V. Y. V4t
GREAT EXCITFMENT !
at thsStore of
D. S. KNOX, tc CO.,
Elm St, lonesta Pa.
Wa are ia dally receipt o. tks argsstand
MOST COMPLETE stock
GROCERIES
and
PROVISIONS,
EVER BROUGHT TO THIS MARKET
BOOTS & SHOES !
-
FOR THE
MILLIONS!
whleh wa are determined to sell regardleas
of prices.
AND
Hons Furnishing Goods, Iron, Nails,
Machine tool, Agricultural Implements,
Ac, Ae,, Ac, which ws offer at greatly re
duced prices.
FURNITURE ! FURNITURE ! I
of all kinds,
s
PARLOR SUITS,
CHAMBER BET,
LOUNGES,
WHATNOTS,
BPRIN6 BEDS,
MATRESSES,
LOOKING GLASS
ES, Ac, Ac., Ac,
In ENDLESS VARIETY. Call and aee,
7-tf
D. ft. KNOX, A CO.
AGENTS WANTK.D FOR THK
LIBRARY OF POETRY AND
SONG. The handsomest and cheatest
work extent. It has so. jethinn in it of the
beet for every one, for the old, the mid-dle-afted
and the young and must become
universally popular. Excepting the Bible
this will be the book most loved and the
meat frequently referred to in the family.
Every page lias passed under the critical
eya of the jrost poet,
WM. CULLEN BRYANT.
By chance for best agents. The only
book of its kind ever sold by subscription.
Send at once for circulars, Ac, to
GEO. MACLEAN, Publisher,
36 -it 719 Sansoiu St., Philadelphia, Pa.
SEASON OF 1870-71.
MASON & HAMLIN CABINET
ORGANS.
Important Improvement
Patent June 21st and August 23d, 1870.
REDUCTION OF PRICES.
The Mason A Hamlin Orpan Co., have
the pleasure of announcing important im
provements in their Cabinet Onrarm, for
which Patents were granted them In June
and August last. These are not merely
meretricious attachments, hut enhance the
substantial excellence of the iuHtruments.
They are also enabled by Increased labil
ities s large new uianufai-tory, tboy hope
hereafter ut supply all orders promptly.
The Cabinet Organs made by this Com
pany are of such universal reputation, not
only throughout America, but also in Eu
rope, that few will need assurance of their
superiority.
They mw offer Four Octave Cabinet Or
gans, in quite plain cases.but equal accord
ing to their capacity to anything they make
for -iQ each.
The same, Doub'e Reed, ton. Five Oc
tave Double Reed Organs, Five Stow,with
Knee swell and Tremulant, in elegant oase
with several of the Mason and Hamlin
improvements, $15. The same Extra
with new Vox Humana, Automatic Swell
etc., (150. Five Octaves, three sets Heeds,
seven stops with Euphone; a splendid in
struments, 25.
A now illustrated catalogue with full
information, and repueed prices, ia now
reaily, and will be sent free, With a testi
monial circular, presenting a great muss of
evidence as tu the superiority of these in
struments, to any one sending his address
K MASON A HAM I. IN OKU AN CO., 164
Tremout Street, Boston, oabM Broadway,
N. Y. 30-n
4.U0 P. M. Freight and Accommodation
daily.
Bv Rev. T. Db Witt Talmaok,
The most Popular Prewher in America.
Agents wanted everywhere, male or fe
male, to sell this great work, is better than
Mark Twain, and no trouble to sell, liig
Proht. Send for terms and illustrated Vi
page circular, Evans, Stoddurt A Co., Pub
lishers, No. 740 Sausoui St., Philadelphia.
SO-
THE CHUMS.
Tom Baker and I were better friends
than most twin brothers are, yet we
were nut it kin to each other any more
than you or 1,
c j V Ve hunledJ togelUr,
fished tociether, wo roomed together,
ws
W8 Pt together, we aU togethei, and wheiher lie ,aw ier r 00t. I itod it
I am ashamed to say that once in a just as long as I could ; and finally I
whi ewe drank together a bottle of B,cpped 0er t0 Mrg. Malone'r, one
port or sherry. , evt.ing anri managed to get an intro
fom and I were loafers, yes, regular duclioI t0 Migg Victorine Saunders
bu.lt loafers Ve had nothing to do the you ,nd na tt
and didn t like to do that any ofiener naroe too v 1
than we could help it. Some folks r ,i',.. W-r, :, ul
don't like loafers,
WeM I never liked
as Tom Baker. I
but one and that was
loved him. lis was my partner in every-
thing, my other self, my shadow. You
Know lux not much account lor any
thing; wen, neither was lorn. We
had beou to California together and
got enough gold to live off the interest,
and that s how it huppened that we
always had good duds on and Jiept
ourselves spruce like.
I own up that lom played poker
Tom and I was just of an age to the
day just of one size, and somewhat
alike in the face. Don't know but
Tom was rather the best looking of
the two ; likely he was.
Many's th time we've been in dan
ger together, Tom and I, and it so
happened that he saved my life twice
'.
or three times. U. well, we are a
J 1 .7 T. J 7
wrapped up in each other bound to-1
getherbycordsof t bit k.nd of affection
that breaks but with breaking hearts.
Strange how two great rough men
should love one auother as Tom and I
We had our bachelor quarters over
Beckman Bank, just opposite Mrs.
Malone's boarding-house. Our win
dows were a little higher from the
greund than those of the boarding
house, and it so happened that we oft.
en sat Smoking, with our feet elevated,
looking over at the lady boarders and
making remarks about them. I re
member that one of them was a slim
old maid, of whom Tom never tried
talking about, in his dry old way, oft
en reminding me that she looked like
a yard of calico wrapped around a
bundle of fishing rods. But this dosen't
belong to my story ; I'm always get
teug off the subject.
One day Tom sat at one window
and I at the other. I recollect that
we had got a fresh box of cigars that
day, good ones as ever I set teeth ou.
Tom was gazing dreamily through his
smoke out across the street, and I was
gazing just as dreamily at Tom. It
was an August morning, hot as fire,
and not a breath of air that would
stir a feather. We hud off our coats
and vests, our shirt sleeves rolled up
and our collars thrown open. All was
still dowu in the street. O, it was red
hot out of doors, and still a heating.
Suddenly Tom started a little. I
thought he had burned his finger, for
he was knocking tha ashes from his
cigar, but slow.y a look or wonder
spread over his big.good-humored fuce.
Ilia eyes dilated pleasantly, he stroked !
hw beard and smiled, gazing steadily j
across the little sea of emoke rolling
ofi" before him.
"Look, Ned, look !" said he in a hall
whisper, motioning with his hand very
highly in the direction he was looking.
I turned and saw, over in one of
Mrs. Malone's windows, the loveliest
girl that ever did live. Yes, sir, I
stick to it, she was sweeter and more
beautiful than anybody's angel ; twice
as pretty an two angels, Tom used to
say ; but Tom would joke, you know
' "A new boarder, I reckon," said I,
feeling a curious shiver of admiration
go over me from toe to crown.
"S pose so," added Tom. "Isn't she
a neat oue, though.
I theutrht she was, and so said to
a good deal in California, and as for j Bhe was a chaW ,itle thi Uh lhe
me I took a game or two of seven-up mogt exprcsilive'face in thetvrld, but
But that s been a long time ago, and . .,, lhiM mj ,ife Why, ,ir her
needn t be mentioned at all. j 1 ! u t 'j '
Tom. But the girl happened to let : it jut t as I ought to. Tom and I play
her great hatel eyes wander over to ed a funny game. It was laughable,
our windows, and seeing us, she disap- j Wheneyer my back was turned Tom
peared like a jack-o'-lantern. was over at Mrs. Malone's. When-
Crack ee-ce 1 cried lom. "What ,
a bird she is! Must ha' got away from
some menagerie, Ned."
"Come straight from heaven, more
like," said I.
"Bah ! get out your banjo, and sing
me a solo. None of yoursentimeutats
to me:" and Tom lit a fresh fioaro.
I saug "Kiss me Trough the Garden
t ::j I.: i i :
j cute, lum joiiicu ma pjmcuuiu unn-
tone to the chorus. Just as wo were
ending the song and the accompani
ment was swelling, rich and loud, on
the final 'D' chord, I saw the girl again
stand close to the window, us if listen
ing to our music.
"There she is again, the little
witch 1" I half whispered to Tom.
"Well, she's not going to hurt any
body," he answered, "let's siug 'Little
Nell," for her benefit."
So we sung the song and several
others. Finally, our little beauty dis
appeared entirely, uud e saw her no
more that evening.
I'm afraid you can't fully under
stand just how matters stood betwixt
Tom and me. We'd ha' died for each
other; that's it, and no doubt of it.
Tom would joke. He was better on a
juke than I was; though, for that mat
tcr, I wasn't slow. I have novcr seen i
Tom's equal for friendship. He'd ha'
cut his head oIF to do me a favor, so he
would.
Well, after that we saw our girl at
the window mot every day. I own
flint T ura tsiKaail fill tiaa nAnnianrtsf Asa
,.or Tom ,,e whitued ,,, grunted and
..1(o,i mnA ,a . ;r :aA.j-,
try to de8cribe , feeiing, when for
the firat lime X tM) a SeRl face to face
with that wee fHi of . , M fc
; :,,, panone(1 a5 ' , " : 'bnmat
Once it got into ray throat and staid
there some time just a rolling over and
over, I think my fuce must have
changed eoler fifty times a minute.
Can't remember what I said nor
what she said, but I had a pleasant
sort of a time the hour I staid. Miss
Saunders was a niece of Mrs. Malone.
O ' . -j p
eyes just danced in her head
"Call again, Mr. Duncan," she said,
as she rose to bid me good evening. I
left that house feeling lighter than
cork and sweeter than sugar. Music
hummed in my ears joy leaped
through my veins. On the steps that
led to our rooms, I met Tom. 1 looked
! right straight into his eyes and tlx
there
1 1 saw just a nine on oi a ciouu, jus
, faintJ ,eam f di8piea8Ure. We ra
gtu i(Ie b Bl,f ourfeet8pattill
I , the Wh ,
just
ran
2
sharply on the steps. When we reach
ed our room Tom eat down and hauled
out a newspaper to which for hulf an
hour he paid strict attention. I got out
my banjo and sang 'Kiss me Quick.'
Presently Tom leaned back in his
chair and laughed loud and long, then
he read aloud the auecdote that had
so tickled him. For my part I didn't
think it very funny at all.
Next morning I proposed a fishing.
Tom said ho had a big headache, so I
went alone, leaving him smelling vig
orously of a camphor bottle. In all
fmy Ufavlhad never before known him
to nave tne oeaupe.
Pshaw such a fistthigasl had. Not
a nibble did I get. Thbrook bubbled
lazily, and the wind hummed sleepily
away up in the white yMtwore trees.
A little bit of a bird with yellow wings
and a red throat sat on a swingiug
branch and sang, 'Chip-a-ree, Victor
ine' all the time, and a tiny nest was
hard by, just chuck full ot young ones.
I stayed by the brook an hour,
thinking how happy it would be to
have a nest like that little bird, with
some one to sing around like a bee
around a flower. Then I wound up
my line and walked toward town, while
fainter and fainter grew the voice of
the red throat, 'Cliip-a-rce, V ictorine !
When I reached the foot of the
stairway to our attie, I glanced over to
ward Mrs. Malone's. ISoine one came
out of the door. It was Tom. I saw by
the smile on his face that his heudache
was not so severe as it had been.
filing rod, and was singing 'Bury me
under a pile of straw,' when Tom came
jn- j d;d not i00Ik up, but just picked
ftway at ti,oge strings with might' and
1 ran up to my room, put away ray
might aud main, the banjo fairly talk-
ing.
"Umph 1" said Tom, taking a cigar
and ruling a match on the wall.
"Catch any fish ?"
"No." said I, "did you?"
Tom sucked away at his cigar as if
he did not hear roe.
"How's your headache?" I added.
He looked at me sharply for a sec
ond. Then wagging his head dolor
ously, he replied ;
"Did ache awfully. Like to a bust
ed." Well, time ran on slowly and de-
liciously ; but somehow I didn't enjoy
lom s back was turned I was there.
Now, then, I loved Turn. I'd a died
for him. Good old Tom, I'll never
have auother such a friend. No, his
like' not to he found at. all..
Well, day by day Tom went over
to talk to her. Day after day she
grew sweeter and prettier, day after
day Tom's fuce grew sullower, and day
.i ... r... . .i.:
alter uuy my iu':e grew wnutier.
Dowu in my heart I pitied Tom,
and just as deeply I pitied myself.
Sometimes the good spirit in my heart
dead with me to give way and let Tom
mve Victorine, but how could I? He
, had saved my life more than once, but
what wus life before I saw her.
. Filled with conflicting emotions, I
sat one evening alone in our room.
Tom, I knew, was over at Mrs. Ma
1 Ion's. Stronger than ever my good
spirit was arguing with me. I was
thinking how happy Tom and I had
been together since our boyhood.
Must I make him wretched now?
While I wus thinking Tom came in.
His t'uco wus yellow as sufl'rou.
"Ned," ;aid he, taking my hand in
both his, "I have been talking with
Victorine, and I havo told her that
sho must not think of mo auy more.
For ymtr sake, Ned, I havo done, this,
Go to her, Ned, and may you and she
be happy ?"
Tom s voice was hollow and strange
like.
My heart leaped into my mouth. I
couldn't say a word. I just wrung
Tom's hand like fury. I loved him
more than ever noble, generous Tom 1
I hardly knew anything till I was
knocking at Mrs. Malone door. Vic
torine opened it herself, and it was
her own sweet voice that said "come
in."
As I followed that little fairy into
the parlor, something said to me, "Tom
Tom ; poor Tom I"
Suddenly a resolve entered my
breast, I would be generous. I would
plrad for him.
I own that my voice shook as I be
gan. "Miss Victorine," said I, "you have
just had a conversation with my part
ner, my friend."
"Yes, sir."
"Will you let me plead for him ?" I
faltered.
"It's useless," she replied rather
coldly.
"Then," said I, passionately, catch
ing up her pretty little white hand,
"let me plead for myself I"
- She snatched away her hand, and
stood bolt upright on the floor.
"Sir," said she, "You and your
friend must be crazy I I have treated
you civily, nothing more. I love neith
er of you, and have given you no rea
son to think I do. I told your friend
this, and asked him to tell you so.
Good evening." So saying she sailed
out of the room like a rose leaf in the
wind.
I stood up in the middle of the floor
awhile; then I bolted out and went
over to our room, thinking a good deal
as I went.
"Tom 1 Tom'" said I rushing into
the room. '
I was answered by as hateful a snore
as ever I heard. There lay . Tom on
the bed fast asleep with bis boots on,
and his mouth open. Near him sat a
chair, and ou the chair sat a bottle,
and on the bottle were the words:
"Ho. for Pike's Peak!" That bottle
had the smell of brandy.
Strange, there Wasn't a drop left for
me.
An Editor' Shirt.
Editor's have A first-rate time in
Texas. The ladies of a town out there
have given to the editor of the paper,
an embroidered shirt which contains a
pictorial history of Texas, including
the war with Mexico, and the meeting
of the first Legislature, and also pic
tures of the State, all worked in red
worstexl. The editor never wore a
shirt in his life, and he thought this
was a flag for temperance procession
which was to come uflf the next week.
So he made a little speech of thanks,
in which he said he would fVng it out
forever to the breezes of heaven, that
they might kiss its folds, and thut un
til his hands palsied it should never
be trailed in the dust never. The
ladies didn't understan J him,aud when
he talked about its trailing, they blush
ed and said they were sorry they made
it too long. But a committeeman took
the editor aside and explained. The
next day he appeared in the office with
that shirt mounted over his coat, and
wrote four columns of explanation for
his paper. The shirt is much admired
by the boys of all ages of the town,
and whenever the editor goes out for a
walk, they follow him in regiments,
studying the history of Texas aud the
fine arts ou the back of it.
When we acknowledge that drunk
; tin ess is a disease, let us not forget
that it is also a sin. No man is forced
to become a drunkard ; he drinks to
excess with his eyes open, with his
hands free, with his conscience upbraid
ing him, until he drowns it in the
bowl. He voluntary surrenders his
reason, his taste, his judgment, his
health, his character ami his con
science on the altar of appetite; and
is not that a sin ? He knows that his
habits of indulgence will disqualify
him for the performance of the duties
of child, husband, parent and citizen,
and while they deaden the faculties
which should elevate him above the
dumb beast, they intensify and quicken
all the animal and brutal instincts of
degraded humanity; and is nut that a
siu ?
The Norwich (Conn.) Bulletin tells
a pathetic little story about a pigeon
which became fastened by a long string
hanging from its leg to a telegraph
wire on Main street, in that city. Two
or three cruel boys wanted to throw
stones at it, but a kind gentleman' tell
ing them not to hurt the poor bird, got
a ludder and carefully unwound the
string and put the frightened, flutter
ing little creature tenderly into his
bosom while he descended. The next
evening he remarked thut it had made
a much nicer pie thau he expected.
Miss Laura Roam overhears such
remarks as these at a Chicago social
gatherings: "Look how elegantly Mrs.
T. is dressed. It is the first time she
has been out sinccher divorce. There
is Mrs. L., too, and tho case iu the
papers so lately. Would you have
believed il?"
Sleep, Fainting, Apoplexy.
When a man is asleep, his pulse
beats and his lungs play, but he is
without sense, and you can easily wake
him up.
If a person faints, he ton, is without
sense, hut he has no pulse and does not
breathe.
Apoplexy is between the two: the
heart beats, the lungs play as in sleep,
and there is no sense, as in fainting,
but you cannot shake the man back
to lite.
In sleeD. the face ia natural in
fainting fit, it has the pallor of death ;
iu sppoplexy, it is swollen, turgid,and
luiriy uvea.
If a man is asleep let him alone
nature will awake him up as soon as
he has got sleep enough.
When a person fainU, all that is
needed is to lay him down flat on the
floor and he will "come to" in double
quick time. He fainted because the
heart missed a beat, failed for an in
stant, failed for only once to send the
proper amount of blood to the brain.
If you place the patient in a horizon
tal position, lay him .n his back, it.
does not require much force of the
heart to send the blood on a level to
the head ; but if you set a man up, the
blood has to be snot upwards to the
head, and this requires much more
force ; yet in nine cases out of ten, if
a person lamts and falls to the floor,
the first thing done is to run to him
and set him up, or place him on a
chair.
In apoplexy, as there is too much
blood iu the head, every one can see
that the best position is to set a man
up, and the blood naturally tends
downward, much so as water will come
out of a bottle when turned upside
down, if the cork is out.
If, then, a man is merely asleep, let
him alone, for the face is natural ; if
a man has fainted, lay him flat on his
back, for his face is deadly pale; if a
man is apoplectic, set him in a chair,
because the face is turgid, swollen, liv
id, with its excess nf blood.
The Bachelor Juror.
A gentleman who rather given to
story telling relates the following:
When I was a young man I spent
several years in the South, residing for
a while at Port Hudson on the Missis
sippi river. A irreat deal of liberation
was going on there about that time,
and it was not always an easy matter
to obtain a jury. One day I was sum
moned to act iu that capacity, and re
paired to court to get excused.
On my name being called I inform
ed his honor, the judge, that I was not
a tree holder, and thrciore not qualm
ed to serve.
"I am stopping for the time being
at rort Hudson.
"You board at the hotel' I pre
sume ?"
' "I take my meals, but I have rooms
in auother part ot the town, where
lodge."
"So you keep bachelor's hall."
"Yes. sir."
"How long haye you lived in that
manner 7
"About six months."
"I think vou are Qualified, pravelv
remarked the judge; "fori have nev
er known a man to keep bachelor's
hall the length of tiran you name, who
had not dirt enough in his room to
make him a free-holder! The court
does not excuse you."
Water Telescopes.
The people of Norway carry in
their fishing boat a water telescope, or
tube three or four feet in length, they
immerse one end in the water, and
then looking intently through the
glass, they are able to perceive objects
ten or fifteen fathoms deep, as distinct
ly as if they were within a few feet of
the surface. So when they discover
plenty of fish, in a good locality
they surround them with their large
draught nets, and often catch them
in hundreds at a haul, which, were it
not for those telescopes, would fre
quently prove aprecarieus aud unprof
itable fishing. This instrument is not
only used by fishermen, hut is also
found in the navy and coasting vessels.
"Charley ! what is osculation ?"
"Osculation, Jenny, dear,
It ia a learued expression queer,
For a nice sensation.
I put my arm, thus round your
waist ;
Your head sinks to its resting place;
ThU is approximation,
You need not feur
There's no one here
Your lips quite near
I then"
"Oh, dear"
"Jenny, that's osculation."
A young man in Oswego, who started
to attend a masquerade party the
other evening, hideously attired and
accoutred as he supposed Sutan usually
is, uuhappily entered the wrong house,
to the consternation of the inmates.
The old geutlemau, father of the family
especially, wus generally alarmed,
aud, with a wild shriek, "Maria, save
the children 1" ho made his exit thro'
the rear door, closely followed by
Maria and all tbeir littleenc.
' Not Much of a Sportsman.
The gentleman mentioned iu the
following anecitoVd might have served
as an original for Dickens' Mr. Win
kle: Once, when Mr. Buxton was
staying with Mr. Coke, at Holkham, a
weil-kuown professor was also one of
the visitors. The venerable historian
had never had a gun in his hand, but
on this occasion Mr. Coke persuaded
him to accompany the shooting party;
care, however, was taken to place him
at the corner of the covert, where it
was thought the other sportrmcn would
be out of his reach. When the rest
of the company came up to the spot
where he was standing, Mr. Coke said
to him : "Well, what sport? you have
been firing pretty often." "Hush,"
said the profesor,"lhcre it goes again;"
and he was iust raising the gun to hit
shoulder, when a mau walked very
quietly from the bushes about seventy
yards in front of him. It was one of
the beaters who had been sent to stop
the pheasants, and his leather gaitcrt,
dimly seen through the bushes, .had
been mistaken for a hare by the prt
fessor, who, much surprised at its ten
acity for life, had been firing at it
whenever he saw it move. "But," said
Mr. Buxton, "the man had never dis
covered that the professor was shooting'
at him."
A New Orleans paper tells of a
printer who, when his fellow workman
went out, to drink beer, during the
working hours, put in' the bank the
exact amount which he would have'
spent if he had gone out to drink. He
kept to this resolution for five yeara.
He then examined his bank account
and found that he had on deposit
8521.8G. In the five years he had lost
a day from ill health. Three out
of five of his fellow workmen had in
the meantime, become drunkards,
were worthless as workmen, and we.e
discharged. The water drinker theu
bought out the printing office, went
on enlarging his business, in twenty
years from the time he began to put -by
his money was worth $100,000. .
The story, whether new or old, teaches
a lesson which ever boy . and young
man should lay to heart.
A diabolical outrage was'perpetrat
ed on the convicts of the Michigan
State Prison the other day, by an. in
human warden, 'who introduced an organ-grinder.;
within the walls, and set
him at work with his infernal machine
to torture the inmates while they were
at dinner. The guesU of that estab
lishment vow that they will not pat
ronize it again if they can help it
and, indeed, many were heard to say
that they would leave immediately,did
circumstances permit. '
Mr. Snooks was asked the other
day how he could account for na
ture's forming him so ugly. "Nature
was not to blame ." said he. "When
I was two months old I was considered
the handsomest child in the neigh be r
hood, but my nurse swapped me away
for another boy, just to please a friend
of hers, whose child was rather homely
looking."
A country editor, in New xlamp-'
shire, has had presented to him,' for
allowance in a lawsuit, a bill which '
reads: "To doing your chores, such as
d. awing water chopping wood, and
and feeding cattle tho weeks you lay
drunk, ?21."
A lady teacher in one of the pub
lic schools of a town in Wisconsin has
laid aside her ferule and adopted the
method of kissing her pupils into
obedience. The lurger boys, it is said,
are particularly unruly, and require
daily correction.
Great compluint comes from the West
about Anna Dickinson. One report
fays that she was so engrossed with
youuk- lawyer in Bay City, Michigan
a few nights since that next morning
she overslept herself, missed the train
and her lecture at a neighboring city.
A Youngstown couple were divorc
ed at the lust terra of the Mahouing
county, Ohio, court, after having
lived together twenty-eight years, iast
week they mutually agreed that siugle
life was not "very bletsed," and were
accordingly remarried.
A New Hamphire man when asked
to give his consent to the marriage of
his daughter, turned with a beaming
countenance to the applicant and
answered frankly: "Yes, ves; and
don't you krw some likely young
man who will take tho other ? '
A dutiful son in Detroit has killed
67 of his ueighbors' cats to get money
to buy his mother a set of false teeh.
He has make a quiet neighborhood
where was a howling wilderness, and
the old woman can eat heartily. ,
A St. Louis paper published an ao- '
count of a suicide of a steamer cap
tain, including hisiasUHords, which'
the captain says are incorrect.
A roasted onion bound upon the pulse
ou the wrist will stop the most
iuveterate toothache in a few minutes.
Ex.
We are told there is nothing made
iu vain. Uut how about a pretty
youDggirlr wnt ehe maiden vain?