The Forest Republican. (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, February 28, 1871, Image 1

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lit ovwt gvcpuMifua.
it runusnuD every tuehday, b,
W, R, DUIIN,
XTloe In llnox's Ruildingi Streat.
TEUMS, 82.00 A YEAR.
JTo Snbaerlpllnns received for a shorter
period Uiim lliroo itioin list.
Corresuondcnen solicited from nil parts
of tho country. No nflttce will bo taken of
timmymmm communications.
Marriages and Death notices Inserted
gratis.
business directory.
TIONKSTALODGE.NO. 477,
I. O. Of. T.
Teett every Wednesday evening, at 8
IU o clock.
W. It. DUNN, W. C. T.
M. W. TATK, W. H.
a. wwtom rarria. milks w. tat.
PETTIS & TATK,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
JtMSlrtrt, TIONESTA, FA.
Isaac Ash,
TTOTtNEY AT LAW. Oil City, Pa.
11 will practice in the various Courts of
f orest i:onniv. All nusiness enirumuu hi
lali car will receive prompt attention,
, ia ly
W. K. Latlvy,
TTOTtNEY AT LAW AND SOLICI-
n. TOll IN DAW K II I I TUT, Mloneste,
forest Co., Pa., will practice In Clarion,
Vcnaniro and Warren Counties. Olllce on
Elm Street, two doora above lwrence's
grocery store. .
W. W. Mason,
A TTORNEY AT LAW. omee on Elm
I X. Street, above Walnut, Tionoata, ra.
C. W. Glinilan,
A TTORNEY AT LAW, Kranklln, Ve-
A nango Co., l a, ir.
N. B. Smiley,
A TTORNEY aT LAW. Petroleum Cen-
XV. tre. Pa. Will practice iu the several
Courts or Forest Oounty. .ta-iy
Holmes House,
HMONESTA. PA., opposite tlie Depot.
x C. I). Mahlo. Proprietor, uooa nta-
blinR connected with tho houae. tf.
Jos. Y. Saul,
riRACTIf'AL Harness Maker and Sad-
i dler. Three doors north of Holmes
House, Tionenta, Pa. All work ia war
ranted. tf.
Syracuse House,
rniDIOUTr.PA.. J. A D Maokk. Pronle-
X tors. The houso has been thoroughly
retlttetl and Is now in the first-class ordor,
with -the best of accommodations. Any
formation concerning Oil Territory at
this nolnt will be cheerrullv nirnlNfied.
-ly J. AD. MAUKE,
Exchange Hotel,
LOWER TIDIOUTE, Pa., D.'S. Rams
liEist. A Ho Prop's. Thin houae having
lmen mil ted is now tho mostdosirablestop-
ring place in Tidiouto. A good Billiard
loom attuchod. 4-ly
National Hotel,
TRVINETON. PA. W. A. TIallenback.
Propriotor. This hotel is Nkw, and Is
.ow open aa a first class house, situate at
re Junction of tho Oil Creek A Allegheny
Hivcrand Philadelphia Erin Kail roads,
DiKtsite the Depot. Parties having to lay
ver traina will lind this tho most conven
er t hotel in town, with first-class aeeonv
todstions and reasonable charges, u.
TifTt Sons & Co.'s
TVTEW ENGINES. The undersigned have
1 1 for sale and will reecivo orders for the
altnve Kiieinc. Messrs. Ti 111 Sons & to.
are now sending to this market their 13
Hoine Power Engine with 14-Horse Power
Holler peculiarly adapted to deep wells.
OpricKH at Duncan A Chulfunt'a, dealers
In Well Fixtures. Hardware. Ac. Main St.
next door to Chase House, Pleasantvillo,
and at Mansion House, Titusville.
tf. K. DUETT fc SON, Agents.
Joh.r K- Hallock,
A TTORNEY AT LAW and Solicitor of
A PatentH.No. hiU ) rench etrcetinpponlle
Ueod House) Erie, Pa. Will pnvtico in
thesiverul SUtto Courts and the United
titatts Courts. tSpeciul attention rivcn to
aolicitirs patents for Inventors ; inlrinsro-
mcnt ro-issue and extension of patents
.,urnill v uUoMilcl to. ltolerenccs: Hon
cuvefullv attended to. ltolerenccs: Hon.
James Camubell. Clarion: Hon. John
Vct'almont, Franklin: II. L. A A. H
Itichmoud. Mcadville: W. E. Lath-. Ti
oiiAta. 2 7
Dr. J. L. Aconb,
DHYSICIAN AND SURGEON, who lias
I had fifteen years' experience in a larpe I
ana micceasiui prm-tico, win anenn un
Professional Culls. Oil ice in his Drupe and
Grocery Htore, located in Tidiouto, near
Tidioute Houso.
IN HIS STORE WILL BE FOUND
A full asuortment of Medicinoa, I.innors
Tobacco. Ciirura. Stationery. Glass, Paints,
Oile; Cutlery, and tine Groceries, all of the
beat quality, and will be sold at reasonable
rated.
II. R. BURGESS, an experienced Di-ntr-
aiNtfroiii New "York, has charge of the
'Store. All proscriptions pui up accurately.
ti.
W. P. Mercilliott,
Attorney at I., aw.
AND
JIKAI ESTATK AGEXT.
-TIONESTA, PA.
S7-tf
s . . .
JOHN A. DALE, fHLI T. ,w
SNA. PROPER, VICE RRkT. A. H. STEELE, CASUi.
TIOHESTA
SAVINGS BANK,
y. Tionesta, Forest Co., Pa.
, Thin Bank tranaaiUi a General Banking,
Collcctinj; and Exchange Business.
Diutta on tliu Principal Cities of the
UniU'd Slates and EuroH! bought and sold.
Gold and Silytr tiiin and Government
(Securities non-U and anld. 7-30 Bonds
innvortod on tho iuot favorablo terms.
Interest allowed ou liuiu deposits.
Mar. 4, tf.
DR. J. N. BO LARD, of Tidiouto, lias
returiiKd to his practica aitur uu ab
sence of four mouths, spent in tho Hospi
tals of New York, where will uiUmd
alls in his profession.
Ullici in Eureka Drug Store, M door
tVwe Die hauk, Tidioute, Pa. 4ltf
j 'Vuinetliiiif; ttrpontly needed by evctybody
" - and examine, ' or sail. pies (sent postage
p.iid v.." ! ' i 'hiit ro'jiil nusily lor fin. It.
L- W-..l'co ii chytirut V, Y.
Forest
" Let ua have Faith
VOL. III. NO. 4G.
GREAT EXCI TFMENT !
at thC3tore of
D. S. KNOX, & CO.,
Elm St., ionesta Ta.
VT are in dally receipt o the aiftart and
Mt)ST COMPLKTE atock
and
rnovjsioH,
EVER BROUGHT TO THIS MARKET
BOOTS & SHOES !
TOR TUB
MILLIONS!
which we are determined to sell regardless
of prices.
AND
Ilonse Furnishing Goods, Iron, Nails,
Machine tools, Agricultural ImpleinenU,
Ac, Ac,, Ac, which we offer at greatly re
duced prlcee.
FURNITURE! FURNITURE ! I
of all kinds,
TARLORSCITS,
CHAMBER SETS,
LOUNGES,
WUATNOTS,
BPRINS BEUS,
MATRESSES,
LOOKING GLASS
ES, Ac, Ac, Ac,
In ENDLESS VARIETY. Call and see,
7-tf D. S. KNOX, A CO.
GENTS WANfKD Eolt THE
X LIBRARY OK POETRY AND
K()(i, The handsomest and cheapest
work extent. It has so. jotliin in it of the
best for overv one, for tho old, the mid
ille-nired and theyouni; and must become
universally popular. Execptiiiirtho Bible
this will bo the book most loved nnd the
n,ost f,-t1U0nti v relorred'to in the liimilv.
i;v(,rv .!lgft ,, pBssed under the critical
..v . ....... I
eye of tho .Tout iioet.
WM.tULWSS UKVAM'.
Itiire chance lor best au'ents. The only
book of its Kind ever sold by subscription.
Send at once for circulars, Ac, to
Cil'.O. AlACLKA-N, 1'ulilislicr,
30-4t 71'J Suuboiu St., Phllarlelphia, Pa.
SEASON OF 18T0-71.
MASON & HAMLIN CABINET
ORGANS.
Important Improvements.
Tatent June 21st and August 23d, 1870.
REDUCTION OF PRICES.
The Mason A Hamlin Orpan Co., have
tho pleasure of iiniiouncimt important im
provements in their Cabinet Organs for
w hich Patents were planted them in June
and AiiKuat last, Tbese are not merely
meretricious attachments, but enhance the
substantial exeellonee of the iustruniunts.
T hey are also enabled by Increasod facil
ities a largo new manufactory, they hope
hereafter tosuply all orders promptly.
The Cabinet Organs made bv this Com
pany aro of such universal reputation, not j
only inrougnoui America, mil aiso in i.u
ropn, that few w ill ueod asuraueo of their
suieriority.
They now offer Four Octavo Cabinet Or
gans, In quite plain cnses.but equal accord
ing to thei r capacity to unj thing they make
tor t-'A) CB4-li.
The same, Dotib'e Ried, tiW, Five Oc
tave HuaMe Keel Organs, Five Stops, with
fltune swell and Tremulant, in elegant ease
Willi- several of tho Mason and Hamlin
improvements, $123. The same Extra
with new Vox Humana, Automatic Swell
etc., (loO. Five Octavos, tliree seta Iteeils,
seven stops with Euphono; asplundid in
struiuents, &'1X
A new illustrated catalogue with full
information, and repuced prices, is now
ready, and wil bo sent free, With a testi
monial circular, presenting a great mass of
evidence as to tlia superiority of these in
struments, to any one sending his address
to MASON A HAMLIN OKU AN CO., 154
Treinont Street, Boston, os UM Broadway,
N. Y. aot
4.00 P. M. Freight and Accommodation
daily.
Bv 1!kv. T. Db Witt Talmauk,
The most Popular Preacher in Ainerlra.
Agents wai.ted everywhere, male or le
male, to wll tins great work, is better than
Mark Twain, and no trouble to sell. Big
I'n.iits. Send for terms and Illustrated M
page circular, Kvun, Sto.Mart A Co., Pub-
i.shers, No. 740 Ransom bt., Philadelphia.
that Right makes Might ; and
TIONESTA, PA., TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 28, 1871.
Subscription to M. E. Church.
We published last week the names
of tlioso who subscribed at dedication,
money for the use of the new M. E.
Church. A list of all who have sub
sribed has been handed us, which wo
publish below :
G. S. Hunter
A. Dewoody
J. Winans
M. W. Tate
C. D. Mabie
J. S. Shad duck
T. F. Simmons
D. O. Hunter
O. J Philley
J. P. Siggins
Mary and Addie Roberts
$250
100
100
100
50
20
60
25
10
50
100
5
5
25
20
20
W. W. Dimond
S. D. Irwin
Mrs. S. S. Rulings
O. W. Sawyer
J. Fiuhcr
VV. J. Roberts
10
D. S. Knox
. L. Davis
100
10
15
50
25
50
100
A. II. Tartridge
Polly Hunter
W. Dawson
V. P. Mercilliott
James McKay
T. B. Maze 5
Jacob Zents . 5
Jacob Mazo 6
J. Y. Saul 5
J. B. Wyant 10
J. S. Hood 1 50
V. B. Ilarland 10
David Hays 10
W. II. Butler 5
J. B.Agnew 25
A. II. Steele 25
Jacob Weuk 8
W. E. Lathy 15
William Hood 20
William Lawrence 15
James Savage 5
J. D. Rulings 5
J. W. Strotip 5
Benj. May 20
J. B. Meehling 5
E. W. Smiley 40
J. N. Teitsworth 25
Morris Rathburu 10
Charles Hiutou 10
P. O. Convcr 10
G. Jamison 25
Nancy Dawson 10
Isaac Dawson 10
I. C. Siggins 50
William Hunter, Sr. 100
Sarah Hunter 50
H. II. May 150
A D. Weller 5
W. W. Thomas 10
John A. Dale 10
P. D. Thomas 25
Jacob Shriver 10
Daniel Black 5
J. R. Strotip 10
Catharine E. Gillespie 25
L. L. Hackett 25
J. McElhaney, Sr. 15
J. McElhauey, Jr. 10
J. G Gear 10
C. Campbell 3
J. Martin 3
L. Iliggans 3
J. Pool 5
Willis Butler 5
L. II. Davis 25
N. H. Siggins 10
F. Monday 5
S. Whiten 1
Seldon Whitman 1
George Ke, r 1
S.J.Wolcolt 10
Total, $2,2G5.
All those knowing themselves in
debted on the above subscription are
requested to jy in the money to Ij. S.
Knox, at his Htore, as it is now duv.
There being sumo mistakes and
omissions in the list of thoso who sub
scribed during the dedication, we re
publish the list,' corrected. The money
unpaid in the following list ia due ou
or before the first of Juue:
John Pat ton,
Rev. R. R. Roberts,
Mrs. M. W. Tate,
Mrs. J. G. Dale,
S. J. Wolcott,
J. G. Dale, for grading,
Joseph Grove,
Mrs. J. Wintins,
Samuel Clark,
Mrs. R. R. Roberts,
Dr. J. Wiuaos,
J.P. Sigyqs, i
E.L. Davia, j
Mrs. S. S. Burton,
$50
25
25
25
25
25
25
25
25
25
25
20
20
10
10
10
J0lm A. Dale,
?UB
in that Faith lot us to tho end, daro do our duty aS we understand
Thos. McGill, 10
Wat ts B. Lloyd 10
A. C. Torter, 10
Peter Lovcl, 10
Mrs. T. B. Cobb, T 10
Mr. & Mrs. II. II. Stow, 10
Mrs. S. J. Wolcott, 10
S. J. Setley. 10
Mrs. John A. Dale, 5
O. P. Alsbach, . A
Mrs. J. N. Teitsworth, 5
E. M. McMichael 5
Jas. II. Fonef, 5
P.M.Clark, 2
N. G. Ball, 2
J. R. Stroup, 0
Mrs. Geo. Haslett, 1
Mrs. Neal, 5
Mrs. G. S. Hnnter, fi
Mrs. Wm. White, 5
Mrs. J. R. Stroup, 2
Mrs. S. Lewis, 2
Mrs. llilands, 5
Mrs. D. Robb, 5
Mrs. Jaue GilGilao, 5
D. Rays, " 2
Ella Rays, 3
A. Weber, 2
M. Carpenter, 3
N. II. Siggiul, - 2
M. Reese, 2
Capt. Ferry, 1
John Siggins, 1
Wm. Y. Siggins, 5
Mrs. A. B. Kelley, 2
Mrs. A. II. Partridge, 5
Mrs. C. D. Mabic, 5
Mrs. G. W. Sawyer, 1
Mrs. S. S. Hulings, 5
Mrs. R. R. Roberts, 2
Mrs. N. G. Ball, 5
Miss Mary Dawson, 1
Mrs. Harriet Dimond, 3
Miss Julia Noble, 2
Rachael 11. Gilfillan, 5
Mrs. Thcs. McGill, 2
Alex. Dale, 2cc
Total, $578.25
A Sailor's Description of a Dance
Haven't had any fun with the land
lubbers till Thursday night.at a dance.
When I arrived in the cabin found 'em
uuder way on a Spanish dance. Took
my station in line with Susan Tucker
Jell back and tilled, then shot ahead
two fathoms hauled up on tho star
board tack to let another crait pass
and came stern on another sail, spoke
her, nnd bore round against the sun,
and fell in with another sail in full
clmse. Passed twenty sail on same
course, aud when half across to the
shore, drop astern fell back couldnt
fill, so let po anchor and hauled up for
repairs. Next tinio 1 was drawn into
the current by a cowtillion, but didn't
make much headway shoti head with
Betsy Stark, and sailed over to the
other coast. Took a turn opposite ran
abreast twice towards other oralis, and
back astern again moved round to
starboard past ucar partner's lights,
and made sail to berth. Third time
ran into port with the tin no of the
tempest, the Yankee tar's faveritc.
Proceeding along up coast nccording
to the regular order of sailing bore
ahead again rounded to then pass
ing adversary yard arm by ynrd arm,
lucked astern with tho whole squadron,
in circular order of sailing. Sally,
Jones all the time maneuvering and
making signals when under full saiby
Filially a n chord after a heavy squall.
Armstrong RuN.-From a gentleman
who paid the Armstrong Run oil ter
ritory a recent v'uh we learn the
following iu regard to the wells in that
vicinity: James well No. l.iapuping
25 barrels per day; James well No 2 is
claimed to bo yielding CO barrels, our
reporter thinks it is not yielding near
that amount; the old Jenning well, 80
barrels; Meldeu lieservewell flowing
150 barrels per day. This well has been
terpedoed tw ice. Tho lirst Ume it flmvr
ed between three and four hundred Lu.-
rels ot oil and then eased producing ; (U,r.lone of casiigation '"Liel, I've
entirely. A second torpedo, hirgerC(, t0 brin .. u., ft d,.eell, nnd
than the lust, was then expioovii. una
the well again vominonced to flow, it
iuim .. ....... a..u uiijr are goring ctuj,bounU on holiday I -
barrels daily. Our informant counted T,,e ,.Jum.e f ,ie interview was of
38 derricks up or tu V4n.i4 fctages I a stri(,,fy private and domestic charuc
of completion. At icustof these, wells ter uot U) e .iroraiied by publication,
drilling has commenced and several But to this day 'Liel U no good singU.
aro nearly finished. All the oil pro-1 . . :
duced is stored iu wooden tanks at the An Egyptian editoa, proposes a euro
wells, as fast as ono tank is filled an- for the curuivcrous pr -pciisitiea of the
other one being put up. This is made terrible "nian-eatcr" tiger. lie tcll.s
uecessarv us there is no in. nns of com- a story of a tiger cub, which is in tho
mimical ion with the
A.V. R. R. across
the river, the pipe lines only running
down to the river edgn. Oil operators
in that vicinity anticiimto
s lively times
the coming spring. I'd. Ceetdte lUc-ord.
Clara Louise Kellogg rode through M-homet Ali, who, he siiys, used to
Pennsylvania, on a locomotive, and have a t:inio tiger, to which he regular
rung t'l.ehcll ut the ciossiiig just like ly hauiWI over his hookah after enjoy
a man. The engineer says whenever i"g his mm after diiiuersedalive. The
she gets nut of a job i'lging, all she has uniinal wait.-l patiently for lib turn,
to do is to come to hi.n and s ie cuu und then pufl'eJ away with great gusto
have a job firing ou the engine. He And he assures ut ihut smoking tigers
like the way th a be-ll rin. I do not devour humni being.
f in a
Humorous.
We take tho following from the Ed
itor's Drawer in Harper's Magaz!ne,fur
March :
Humors of tiie Scaffold. An
Irishman had been convicted of a rob
bery of the Old Bailey sessions, for
which ho was brought up, with others,
to receive judgment of death. The
rloiicT, on being called on by tho
officer of the court in tho usual way to
declare hat he had to say why sentence
of death should not be passed upon
him, advanced to the front of the dock,
w ith a Vncaht stare, and inquired,'
"What was the question;
"You have been convicted of rob.
bcry. What have you to say why sen
tence of death should not bo passed
upon )ou according to law?
"Faith," answered the prisoner, "I
have nothing much to say, except that
do not think 1 am sale in your
hands."
The court laughed ; sentence was
pasted, and the prisoner was about to
retire, when the otneer oi tue court
called him back and demanded to
know his age.
Is it my age ye mane I
"What is your age?"
"I believe I am pretty well as ould
as ever I'll be."
A train the whole court was "convuls
ed with laughter;" but the wretched
man, whose mirth-movmg powers were
quite involuntary, was loomed even
at the scaffold to "set the people ill a
roar. In the press-room his irons
were removed, and his arms confined
with cords. This beins done, ho seat
ed himself, nnd in spite of the calls of
Jack Ketch aud ot the slierilla to ac
company them in tne procession to the
ftcaltold, he remained sullenly on the
bench where he had taken up his post
iton.
"Come," at lust urged the hangman,
"the time is arrived.
But the Irishman would not move
"The officers are waiting for you,'
said the sheriff. "Can any thing be
done for you before you quit this
world ?"
No answer was returned. Jack
Ketch grew surly.
"If von won't go, I must carry you,'
he eaid
"Then you mar," said the prisoner,
"for 1 11 not walk."
"Why not?" inquired a sheriff.
"I'll not be instrumental to my own
death, answered the prisoner.
"What do you mean?" asked the or
dinarv.
"W'hat do I mane?" retorted the
hapless man ; "I tiitiue that I'll not
walk to my own destruction.
And in this determination he persist
ed, nnd was carried to the scafibld
where he was turned off, refusing to do
any thing which might be construed
into "his being a party to his own
death."
HOW IT SOUNDF-U IN THE GARRF.T.
"As true ns the first ot John,"vri.tes
an Ohio correspondent, U tho follow
ing :
Eliel Calkins . lives in the villaea
of , 'Liel ia no singist, for 'Liel's
musical ellorts were discouraged iu
their first timid ventures. Besides,
he had tocommenco farther back than
most folks. His first essay resulted in
breaking up a Sunday-school "in a
row;" and this resulted in tho "old
man"pereniptorily ordering the abash
ed 'Liel to attend singing-school. 'Liel
went, but on tho first night discreetly
kept silent, wholly absorbed in obser
ving how others surmoun'ed the diffi
culties which environ "Days of Ab
sence," and in endeavoring to note,
for future use, "tho lick it waa done
with." On the following Sabbath 'Liel
tooV bio "Missouri Harmony," aud re
paired to the attic to practice. He
had about arrived at the conclusion
that ho was worrying no little melody
out of that "hyiiie," when he heard a
stealthy atep on the stairs. Looking
nervously around, he beheld the failing
cw of the "old mail" looking "hick
ory withe"' at him. lie likewise heard
; i. .!.. i .1 i : .
a Vinn in mm less iiiumuui mail ins
own di.tt"roaking.
V'Lii-h" excluiined the "old nuijj,"
In m . v nnut n I ii t inn Willi un nil.
. mrul ,,t . ftml W,1C V()U otljj,,
, t() )v jres!ij fr meeting,' hero W
habit ot smoking up nil his muslr s
cigar stumps.
He secures them as they
aro thrown away, and alter Ins master
l as retired to lieu -gets a ngia iioin
the kitchen, ami enjoys a quiet smoke
I every night. In buck this story, tho
I Al'riciin , 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 . 1 i : f . fells iiliiittier ,it
it."--LINCOLN.
$2 PER ANNUM.
How She Did It.
The Lawrence A mcrican tells the fol
lowing ktory : A gentleman passing
down Magazine etreet a few days fcince,
was astonished ns he went by a window
to see ft nair of rosv lins suddenly
pressed against the glass nnd a pair
of flasiiinp; blew eyes looking unmis
takable love at him through the
window. It was not in the nnture of
man to resist such an appeal as' this,
and lifting his hat courteously,
ho inquired: "I beg your pardon, but
do von wish to kiss me." The lady
had evidently been mistaken. She
mistook huu for somebody else, and
fled incontinently from the room.
The centlemnn went on his way; but
that same night was introduced to the
lady at a ball. It is needless to say
that they recogniled each other. After
the usual courteous expressions of a
first acquaintance, the gentleman in
quired if the lady was fond of kissing.
Oh, not at all, he said, "but my
lips aro very fevership, and of cold
mornings I sometimes press thrm
against the window panes to chill
them."
an -i
Franklin's Loan.
The following letter was written bv
Dr. Franklin white at Paris, and was
communicated by the person who re
ceived it to the person by whom it wus
originally published :
April TI, 1(84.
I rend you herewith a bill for ten
Louisd'or; I do not pretend to give
such a sum, 1 only lend it to you
When you" shall return to your coun
try you cannot fail of getting into
some business that will in time enable
you to pay all your debts. In that
case when you-meet with another hon
est man in similar distress, you ruiibt
pay me by lending this sum to hi in, en
joining him to discharge the debt by a
like operation w hen he Bhall be able,
and shall meet with such another op
portunity. I hope it may thus go
through many hands before it meets
with a knave to stop its progress. This
is a trick of mine for doing a deal of
good with a little money. 1 am not
rich enough' to afTord much in good
work, and so am obliged to be earning
and make the most of a little.
Pretty girls, unless they have wise
mothers, are more educated by the op
posite sex than their own. Put them
where you will, there is always some
mail busying themselves in tlicir in
struction ; and the burden of niascu
liue teaching is gencmlly about the
eame, and might be stereotyped as fol
lows: "You don't need to be or do
anything. Your business in l.fe is to
look pretty aud amuse us. You dou't
need to study , you knew all by na
ture that a woman Deeds to know. The
only sense you need is lovely nonsense.
You urc, by virtue of being a pretty
woman, superior to anything we can
teach you ; aud we wouldn't, for 'the
world, have you anything but whut
you are.
A Western editor, on entering his
oflieo and seeing his apprentice boy
cutting 8om queer capcrs.called out to
him :
"Jim, what are you doing on the
floor?"
"Whv, sir, I have had a shock."
"A shook ?"
"Yes,"
"What kind of a shock?"
"Why, sir," said the bid, gasping,
"one of your subscribers came in dur
ing your absence said he owed for
two year's subscription paid' it and
also paid another year in advance."
A little fellow, some four or five
years old, aud who had never seen a
negro, was greatly pcrr'lexed ono day
v hen one came to where he and his
father WffgjeKTtie youngster eyed the
stronger "suspiciously til. he .had pass
ed, nnd "lEiiS.Sce'd his father :
"l',-ho painted that mau all black
so?" '
"God diil", my son," replied the fath
er?" "Well," sa.l tho little one. still
looking nt b Iicl Jo,"I shouldn't tho't
he'd a hAJ still-
A ('Jcrj yi:iiiioeting a little boy of
his 'arj-.KiaJJ-e aid : "This is quite
tlnrmf'Ciay, my son ?" "Yes, sir,"
in
-a the boy, "fins is quire a wet rum.
iho clergyman, thinking to rebuke
such hyperbole, asked it he knew of
any other thau wet rain. "I nevir
knew personally of any other," said
the boy. "but I have rend in certa'm
book of a time uhen it rained fire and
brimstone, and I guess that was not a
wet rain."
A woman went to a circus in Terra
Haute Indiana, accompanied by eleven
children, and wl en ashed w here the
old niuii was, said he wus tit home
taking care id' the children. Another
neighbor called at the house, and
seeing tho obi man trying to amuse
nine young ones, asked i hero tho old
liiov was. Ho said he let her go to
ihe circus with tho children.
A iniMintaineer with two thousand
aud five dollar.-, coiul ailed tho l...i:sc
of la i a iu Kansas City till he had
eiily five dollars left, lie lit a cigar
with that uu t coolly walked back to
V-nTor.
. natc3 of Aclvcrti.Vi-'.
Our .Square (1 inch,) one inser'.ior. f
Ore S,,,!!rC " In '1l''i
One S iiiitra -"- i!""- ti'M!'i .
One S-1 -.tare " "lie ;" ar - J'
Two Sqo-" -cs, en"1 yir
'.: rU:t C"U " V'
Unit- " "
OlIO
11
.100
Bnsinc!' Cfirils, rtM exceeding one In - i
In length, t? 10 per year.
l.c,;al notk-osntcsiablislivd rates,
These rates aro low, and no dovlnti n,
vill bo liulde, or discrimiTiatinn r-ivn:
I ntrons. 'J lie rales ottered are such, in
wiil uiiike it to tim ndvauMgoof in.-uu a &
business in the limits of tlm circulation t
tne 1'iiper to advertise liberally. i
imwimiii.iiiii.1 iiiwuiilfifr , '
Miscellaneous.
Wasting Time Hugging the girlf !
None but the brave dispute the far.. -
When is a penny like a hermit!
When it's a loan (.alone).
When is a black dog not a black
dog? When it's a greyhound.
A chime of bells in Milwaukee is in
scribed: "Iu memory of Minnie J
Hodge weight 724 pounds."
Briny. Young women often keep
their lovers by tears. "Ye8," saysi
Grumwig, "love, like beef, is preserved
by brine,
A Califoria jury in a suicide ca.e
lately found the following verdict:
"We, the jury find that the deceased
was a tool.
Rapped Up. Physicians are pro
verbially absent-minded, and the rea
son is obvious they are often rapped
up in their profession.
To-morrow.-A French barber'n
sign reads thus, "To-morrow the pub
lie will be shaved gratuitously." Of
course it is always "to-morrow."
jot likely. A Southern editor has
had his 'pistol stolen. lie advertises
to give the thief the coutents, and no
questions asked, if he will return ii.
An old lady heard about the strike
of the wire drawers in Worcester.
Mass., and said that of all new fangh d
things, wire drawers must be the queer
CBt.
A Chicago merchant caught some
body getting in his window, and
chopped oirsomo fingers that ho saw
on the sill. Tho burgling ceased,
soouly.
Sawdust pills, says an old physician,
would effectually cure many of tho
diseases with which mankind is alllict
cd, if every patient would make his
ow n sawdust.
RulofT, the murderer, condemned
to be hung at Binghamtou, is employ
ing his time in writing essnys to a pa
per in that eity on the subject of an
cient and modern languages.
"What aro you doing there?" in
quired Jack, of Tom, as he caught
him peering through the keyhole.
"What's that to you?" said Tom, "I
don't like to eee a person prying into-
other people 8 business.
A lady who has been rending law is
in the most fearful and agonizing
doubts regarding tho legality of her
married condition. She says, "Lotte
ries are illegal, and marriage is the
greatest lottery in life!"
A baristcr blind of ono eye, plead
ing with his spectacles on, said : "Gen
tlemen, in my argument I shall uso
nothing but what is necessary."
"Then," w hispered a wag, "take one of
your glasses out of your spectacles."
A physician being asktd by a pa
tient if he thought spiaits now and
then would hurt him much, replied, "I
do not kuow that a little occasionally
would hurt you much ; but if you don't
take any, it won't hurt you at all."
A part of the roof of the Rail
road bridgc.at this place.was blown off
last week. A heavy wind was blow
ing at the time, but not so strong as it
had previously blown. It was a whirl
wind thut did tho mischief. Warren
Ledger.
Jones, says the Boston Journal.
whoveara his pocket-book on the left,
not 'only lets not right hand know
what his left hand doetii, but goes fur
ther he dot not let his left hand do
any thing for fear his right hand msyr
know it,
Mr. Scrauton, proprietor of the
Scranton liepullican, was sued for libel
by John Jess up, lor saying that the
latter' house was none of the best..
The case was tried at Wilkesberrc last
week, aud resulted in a verdict of ac
quittal, tho State bearing the costs.
A young rrjarried lady being applied
to for a situation by a servaut-giil,she
asked : "Why did you'leave your last
placo,?" Why, you see, ma'am," re
plied the girl, "1 was too good-looking;
and wheu 1 opeued the door the gen
tlemen always took me fjr the missis."
The life of an editor is not always
free from care. They have to stand
this up in Newnan, Gu.: "Come and
look, mother," said a little boy, "there
goes an editor." "My sou, you should
not make sport of the poor man ; you
cannot tell to w hat extremity you may
come." Vharlfituit t'oihicr.
The New York Tribune says: "Ono
hears ofcxtrvugant prices paid by the
iniignzjfle lor literary articles, but the
prices are usallv exaggerated or
imaginary. The best rate giveu by
thrt 'A3nij fvi n to such eminent and
lavorito eunti iiiiitors as I loin. ...
croon and Lowell, is 52;. t'.
general price fi r nitigaziuo unifies U
rarely mure thau SlUU." f
Aini'hrl ad his neighbor arrested
under the char;: nf stealing wheat
from his mill, but being tumble to sub
stantiate the charge by pnu.f.the court
ndjUilcid that the niilier should i; al o
acknowledgement to tho accused.
'Well," says l.e, "I hand you arrcsL'd
far stealing my wheat. I can't prove
if, and I am orry for i' "