The Forest Republican. (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, February 21, 1871, Image 1

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rf ovist Vputton.
v;. a. DUIIII.
D.Tlc la Knox's DuilJlngi Eln Street.
Itatcs cf Advertlsiarr.
One R icnrn '1 Inch, one In " r I on . fl
f'lli- S; t;:'ri
1 Soi
l.i o
t 'i;.' ;
t mo
i ' !.
. r.i o i
Mo ev
J 1
TERMS, $2.00 A YEAR.
No Subscription received for n sltortor
period tiiin tiirco ui'iiilln.
Correspondence, snlicitud from nil parts
of the t!otnitt-y. No nciVico will ha tukon of
miiioii yn i m communications.
J.l n i iiioi mi l Dentil noticed Inserted
I. O. Or. T.
II f .eta every Vedtiosday evening, lit 8
III o'clock.
W. U. DUNN; W. C. T.
M. ,V. TATE, W. H.
jtb S!rtt, ' TI0SKSTA,'PA.
Isaac Ash,
Will practice In tho varloua Courts of
Forest County. AH business entrusted to
.ail csro will receive prompt aitcuticu.
ill ly
W. E. Lathy,
Forest Co., Pa., will practico In Clarion,
VonimKo nml Warren Count lea. Olllce on
F.liii street, two doors abovo I .nwreiice'a
grocery .tore, tf.
V. W. Mason,
Street, above Walnut, Tionesta, Pa.
V. Giimian,
AT LAW, Franklin, Ve
Vh. tf.
t V uuito Co.,
N. B, Smiley,
ATIOttNEY aT LAV, Petroleum Con
tra, 1'a. Will practice iu the several
Courts of Forest County. S5-ly
Holmes House,
nMONF.STA, PA., opposite tho Depot.
Jl C. 1. Mahlo, I'roiu iotor. Hood Sta
liiitiK connected with the house, tf.
Jos. Y. Saul,
IJRACTICAL Harness Maker and Pad
illtr. Three doora nonli of Holmes
Hours, Tionesta, Fa. All work is war
ranted, tf.
Syracuse House,
TIDIOUTF, Pa., J. D Maokk, Prople
tom. Tho house has been thoroughly
refitted and innw In the tirst-olas order,
with the beat of accommodations. Any
iforination eoncorninir nil Territory ut
this poiul will be ehoerfullv furnished.
-ly J. A D. m.ujee,
Exchange. Hotel,
J Ohm. A Son I'rop'a. This house hitvinn
been r.titod is now the moat desirable stop
ping place In Tidioute. A good llillinrd
Koo, n attache 1. 4-ly
National Hotel,
Proprietor. This hotel ia
Proprietor. Tliis hotel ia Xkw, and is
,1 open as a first class house, nituittn at
eejunction of tho Oil Creek A Alleirhonv
jtiveraml lliiladeipina cV l.aiiroaus,
ooosite the Depot. Parties havinir to lay
ver trains will lind this the moHt oonven-
nt hotel in town, with first-class accoui
lod.tiont anil reasonable chariies. tf.
TifTt Sons 4 Co.'s
VTIIVV ENCilNF-S. TheunderHlpnedhave
IN forsale and will receive orders for the
above Kn trine. Messrs. Titlt Sons A- Co.
er. now . sending to this market their VI
Hoise I'ower K.ncrine with Power
Jtoiler pecu:i:ii lv u hiotecl to deep wells.
(li l li'Ksat Dinicaii A Chitlliint's, dealers
fn Well rixtiires, imnlwure, Ac., Mam St,
iit door to Chuse Mouse, l'leiisanivill,
an t ul Muiihiou I (onve, I nosviiio,
tf. V., P.KKT 1' A SON, Agents.
John. K.'.ock,
TTORNKY AT LAW and Solicitor
V.'cuts.No. f,i"i l'reni'h m reet(opposito
l iioute), I'a. V. ill practice in
t -esiveial S-iite Courts mid tho United
fiia.ta Coin-In. Spi'ciat attentinn triveu to
ooeilii-' patents for Inventors ; iiifriimo-
uienln, re-issiio unit extension of pii'ents
'4'elul:v attemttd to. llclcrcucos: jioii.
James Cumpbell, Clarions Hon. Joint S.
Jic aiinoiit, l'i Hiik lin ; II. L. A- A. II
II clmwnJ, Meadville; W. E. Lathy. Tl
onesta. i 7
Dr. J. L. Acorrb,
pHTSiriAN AND Rl'RGKO.Y, who has
a nail litiecn vcni's exis i leiicem a lartte
and succoN'Inl practice, will aticnd nil
Profssional Calls. Oilico ill his Druir and
Grocery Store, located in 1 idioute, near
Tiuioute House.
A full assortment of Medicines, Liouors
' Tobacco, Cigars, Stationery, Glusx, Faints,
Oil., Cutlery, and line Unioeries, all of the
bast quality, aud will be .old at reasonable
II. R. BURGESS, an exnertcncedXrus
pist from New York, baa charge of the
More, ah prescriptions put up accurately,
W. P. Mercilliott,
Attorney at Law
Tiouesta, Forest Co., Pa.
This P.ank transact, a General Raukintr
t'o'.:,ictniir and l-.xchane Iusiiioss.
Iirans on the I'li.icipal Ciliea of the
L'n.terl St iles and Europe liouuht and sold
Gold and .Silver Coin and Govrrnuiont
rti.cuiities hntiu'ht lind Mild. 7-itU liouds
rfn'ei toil on tlie niosl favorable terms.
Interest allowed on time deposits.
Mar. 4, tf.
DR. J. N. ROLARD, of Tidioute, has
ruliirusd U his practice alter an ab
sence of four months, spout iu the Ho. i
talsofNow York, where l will attend
ealls iu his profession.
Oitico iu Kui;cka Druir Stora, 31 door
aoove the bank, Teii onto, Pa. 411
TANTE. Land in Pennsylvania for
caelt uid t-"K(l Btocks, Townstjid
Hww,HHMaiO 'Uttri Ha, Phlrt, '.'4-
"Lot ua havo Faith
VOL. III. NO. 45.
at theStoro of
D. S. KIT OX, & CO.,
Elm St., ionesta Pa.
W are In daily receipt 01 tha argeattnd
B00T3 & SHOES !
which w. ar. determined to sell regardless
of prio.a.
House Fnrnikhing Goodsi, Iron, Nails,
Machine tools, Agricultural Implements,
Ac, Ac,, Ac, which we offer at greatly re
duced prices.
of all kind.,
ES, Ac, Ac, Ac,
In ENDLESS VARIETY. Call and eec,
7-tf D. S. KNOX, A CO.
SONG. Tho handsomest and cheapest
work extent. It lias s. .icthinir In it of the
best for every one. for the old, the mid-d!e.-!ii;cd
and the younir and inn become
universally wpulnr. F.xeeptiim the It. hie
this will be the book moot lovisl and the
most freiincni i v reierrctl to iu thelimiilv.
Every imfje has passed under tho critical
eye of tlie .Tout poet,
Rare chance tor best airents. The only
book of its kind ever sold by Biibtcriptioii.
Send at once for circular. Ac., to
ti Ml. MACLEAN, Publisher,
?.fl-4t "l'J Smisom St., Philn leiphia. Pa.
Important Improvements.
Patent June Slst and August 2'M, 1870.
The Mason A Hamlin Oriran Co., have
the pleasure of anKoiincing important im
proveinonts in their Cabinet Ortruns, for
which Putcnla were ifiHiilod them in June
and AuiiUHt last. Those aro not merely
meretricious attachments, but enhance tho
substantial excellence of Uio instruments.
'i'hey are also enabled by increased tacil
ities a Iutko new manufactory, they hope
herealler lo supply all orders promptly.
The Cabinet Or cans made bv this t'oiit-
pany are of such universal reputation, not
only throimhout America, luilalso iu Eu
rope, that few will need asouranoo of their
'l'hev now offer Four Octavo Cabinet Or
gans, in quite plain cases, lint equal accord
ing to their capacity toan thing tlicy make
for i 0 each.
Tlie same, Doub'e Reod, t5. Five Oc
tave Double Uocd Organs, Five Stops, with
Knee swell and Tremulant, In detrain ease
with several of the Mason and Hamlin
improvements, fU5. The sinue 1 xua
with m'W Vox lliimana, Autoiualie Swell
etc., 8U,0. Five tettivus, three wis Reeds,
seven stops w ith Eujhonej a splendid in
siruuieiit.s, J-"-"i.
A new illustrated eataloiruo with full
information, and rcpuced prices, is now
ready, ami wil be sont free, wall a testi
monial circular, presenting a reat muss of
evidence us to tlie superiority of these in
struments, to any one Kcudiu his address
T remold Street, liostou, os tRi itroadwuy,
N. Y. UtMt
1.00 P. M. Freight and Auejiiiin i Lition
liv ltiov. T. Dii Wri t' Tai maok,
Tho most Popular Preacher in America.
Af.'ents wanted everywhere, male oi fe
male, to sell tills irreut work, ia belter than
Mark Twain, and no trouble Id mil. Iii
Prolils. Send lor terms an
id illustrated i
iih 'o circular. Evans. Mm
litduii-M. n. 710 Koilnom St
' sUk
that Right makos Might; and
Ci ve me sincere fricnd.J.or none. This
hollow glitter of smiles oml words
compliments that mean nothing pro
testation of affection its solid as '.'..c
froth upon clianipagnc invilutioiis
that nro hut pretty scnteuccs, uttered
becnuse sttcli things aro cnstoinarv,
are worthless to me. There is no need
of them. It is proper to he civil and
courteous to the most indifferent stran
ger; but why aspume friendship's out
ward how when no reality underlies
it? en one feels friendship, tlie ob
ject iat sentiment cannot suffer,
and li. .e our hearts untroubled can
not be slandered, leaving us unharmed.
To see ouj friend successful, even be
yond our own powers of success, is a
great joy to us ; to hear that friend ap
plauded is a pleasure. 1 ct, every day
men who fancy themselves frte.ids,
show mean envy of each other's lucky
hits; anil women, who kiss on both
cheeks when they meet, will whisper
treacherous little stories of each other
yes, and whipper them to men. So
that, when msot women say to me,
"We were talking of you just now!"
1 wonder only lor one is not sincere
enough to say it out whether it lias
been possible to squecie one drop of
scandal into the humdrum story of my
life; or, failing that, how many times
they have been multiplying my ago
by ten, to prove me older than I con
less myself to he. But it is lint sin
cere to praise everybody. It sounds
amiable; but men cannot all be
"charming," and women all "so sweet."
I like to know from tho Fpeccb of a
man or woman that this one is a friend;
that, a mere aciiiiiintance. I think
warm heaited people are never gener
al admirers. All cannot bo loved siu
cerely; all cannot bo really even
pleasant. Constant laudation of eve
ry body may be a pleasant form of in
sincerity, but it is insincerity, after all,
forme. It heaven will help me, I will
be siuoere. I wi.l not abuse my inti
mate friends when their backs are turn
ed ; I will not praise any one I do not
like; I will not kits women I hate,
nor give men loving looks aud loving
smiles when I do not like them. Aud
as I do unto others, may they do unto
me, for I deserve no better. Ex.
t .
Thirst Quenched Without Drinking.'
It may not be generally known lo
our rentiers tht water, even salt water,
imbibed through the skin appeases
thirst almost as well as water
taken inwardly. In illustration of
this subject, a correspondent has sent
us the following abridged quotation
from a "Narrative of Captain Kenne
dy's losing his Vetscl.and his Distresses
afterwards," which wus noticed in
"Dodsloy's Annual Register for 1769:"
"I cannot conclude without making
mention of the great advantage I re
ceived from soiiking my clothes twice
a day in suit water, and putting them
on without wringing. It whs u consid
erable time before I could mnkt tne
people comply with this measure, al
though from Feeing the good ellects
produced, they afterwards practiced it
twice a day on their own accord. To
this dicovcry 1 may with justice attri
bute the preservation of my own life
I and six other poisons, who must have
perished it it hud not been put in use.
The hint was first communicated to
me from the perusal of a treatise writ
ten by Dr. Lind. The water absorbed
through the pores of the skin produce J
in every respect the fame effect as
would have resulted from the moder
ate drinking of any kind of liquid.
The saline particles, however, which
remained iu our clothes became in
crusted by the heat of the sun and that
of our own bodies, lacerating our
kius and being otherwise income n
ieut; but we found that by washing
out these particles, and frequently w t
ting our clothes w ithout w ringing tw ice
iu the course of a day, the skin be
came well in a short time. After these
operations we uniformly found that
the violent drought went off, aud the
parched tongue was cured in a few
minutes after bathing and washiugour
j clothes ;
and at the same time we
found ourselves as much refreshed as
if we had received some actual nour
ishment. Four persons in the boat
who drank salt water went delirious
aud died; but tnoie who avoided this
and followed the above practice exper
ienced no such symptoms."
Yesterday a couple of chaps, going
east on the express, made the acquain
tance of a gentleman from Utica, Ve
uango county, before reaching this
point. They explained to him their
business, telling him they were mer
chants, dodig busiuchs iu this city un
der the firm name of More ton Tick &
Co., and wished the old gent. email to
lend them some money on a cheek.
He finally gave them eleven dollars,
for which lie was allowed to hold a
check for eight hundred dollars. They
monopolized his lime until tho iraiu
left, when they got oil safely. The
Utica man begMi to see clearly by this
time, and untitled Chief U.iyd, but the
stun was not deemed stitiicient to look
nfier, and bo just left his check for
1 rrnaTfr,
ia that Faith lot U3 to tho end,
Tho Whitford Arrest.
We characterised yesterday morn
ing, as we felt tlie wrong deserved, the
arrest, at Krie, of II. C. Whitford for
tho murder of James II. Wisner.
Yesterday afternoon, boys were crying
"Iho Erie IHxpa'ch Full account of
tho arrest of Wisncr's murderer!"
through ur streets, the columns of
which contained a string of circum
stances, and a chain of evidence point
ing to Whitford as the assassin, as im
potent and infamous as the addled
i . ,i i ,i .. . ,w.,ii
Ortllll Ol a Uioou llllisiy iciMjliei I
make them. Very few of our citizens
. . .. i...:. i ... .i i ... i: i ...t...
caught tho bait, but thoije who did lake
it in, did so simply to see bow big a
fool the Erie City D'mpatch could
make of itself. The job was accotu-
f dished in a masterly manner. Near
y a column and a half of witless spec-
ulations, dark in range move
ments of poor lialf-demented Whitford,
and unaccountable expressions from
the same individual were given with
remarkable preciseness and wonderful
adaption to the lixing of this deed up
on tlie unfortunato victim of "a detec
tive's" shrewdness 1
See how plain a tale sliall put the
schemers to flight, and set their cap
tive free. On the night of tho Wis
her murder, Henry C. Whitford was
miles away from ntusville, where he
bad bad been for nearly two weeks, en
gaged in chopping wood. He knew
nothing of the murder until he return
ed here on Friday last, a week after
the occurrence, and we are told, never
knew tho man, or of him, until told
who he was ! The infamous charge set
up that Whitford killed Wisner be
cause of his inlinmcv with his wife,
months or years ago, is so base a libel
upon the dead, that we marvel that the
Dispatch should publish it. The con
clusions and ifucpicions, from begin
ning to end, as set forth by the Via
p'ttrh with so much particularity, are
of tho same valueless character, un
worthy of sober thought, save in the
direction of regret for bo shameless a
prostitution of tho public press. Cour
ier. The Home Paper.
One of our city exchanges makes
the following truthful observation con
cerning local papers, and the duty of
giving them wholesome support :
The local paper is an absolute neces
sity to the county and community
where it is published. All the city
papers cannot supply the first love of
every man or woman, for with the pa
per i"s the locality identified. The pa
per gives tlie county and town, where
printed, much of their importance in
the world, and gives in detail the local
news, which cannot be gained by
any other source. Every-day's issue
of the paper is an much local history,
and the rise, growth and development
of the town and county can bo meas
ured aud recorded only by tho local
newspaper that constantly is gathering
its items. People do not properly ai-
preciate their house newspaper. I'hey
measure uie vuiuo ot u pnpoi i
much by the number of colu una it
contains. The home paper utauy price
is tlie cheapest paper one can take, for
iu it is found matter that cannot be
had from any other source. Another
thing to be taken into consderatiou.
Every county has one or more newspa
pers. Hen-e, the circulation of each
paper must be limited. There is, there
fore, the greatest need of activity and
interest on the part of the people, to
give their own paper good vigorous
and substantial support
Harmony cf Colors
Many ladies wiih small fortunes lav
ished on their drcs", lock dowdy ana
and gawky ; while others, with only a
scanty purse to fall back upon, out
shine' them in every particular, be
cause the harmony of cfilnrs was stud
ied in the latter case, ami disregarded
in the former. Women should study,
individually, the colors that are most
becoming to them. The real secret of
success in dress is to wear those colors
which horuionize with the hair, eyes,
complexion, ami general appearance.
It u not so much tlu style or texture
of a garment, as the colors. If only
our American ladies would be more
independent and select for tbems Ivrs
whatever t most becoming, without
regard for what is worn abroad, they
would soon establish for themselves a
reputation for taste in dress, which ran
never beattaintd by blindly following
the fashion set for them by the dame,
of the Continent.
Mark Twain has this adviie for
young men with literary aspirations :
"Write without pay until .niucbndy
offers pay. If nobody offers pay within
three years, the candidate may look
upon tlie circumstance w ith the most
implicit coiifidtuce as the igu that
saw ing wood is w hut he was iiiltlnled
John I'aiidolph was once, on a race
Course, solicited to bet by u stranger,
who said, "Smith, here will hold the!
stakes. "Just so, replied the deseen-
dant of Pocahontas, "but who'll hold
daro do our duty as we understand
The Uttl Church Around the
The story of "The Little Church
Around the Corneri" illustrates from
what apparently unimportant events
in the afliiirs of men most important
results will follow. At the solicitation
of a committee of actors, Joe Jefferson
called on the llev. Mr. Sibine to ar
range vith him for reading the funeral
services over poor George Holland.
Mr. Habine had consented without hes-
nation, auo tjcueisnii wua nuuui, nc-
i t . ii' - -i .1-
.. . , , , , , .
J;ar,.1"'-W I VV" r h 7 T- V, .
t' I''"' ! fcabme might not
understand who Holland was. and Jef- j
lersoneai.i: .ur. no i mnu was actor , .
will that make any ri.itercnce to your
Mr. feabtne hung his head and a mo-
ment ana t .en repjteu, lesu win i earn I in At. V firm t.,f ail '
V . " !
Mr Jellersou then can you ,
tell me who will ? to whieli Mr. Sa-
bine replied, "iheresa i.ttic emiren
, . """' "" -'" -y ,
tilings jenerson ooweu anu quiet y I
remarked, "All Honor to Hie lime
church around the corner,'
and bade
Mr. riahine good
went around the corner and secured
thc services of the Rev. Dr. Houghton.
Jeflerson made no mention of the event
save to the committee, and the whole
affair seemed likely to pua by without
the slightest publicity. x day or two
after' however, one of the committee,
in conversation with one ot the editors
of the Globe, chanced to repeat tho
incident. Iu the next issue of the
Globe the story appeared headed "God
Bless the Little Church Around the
Corner." The next morning papers
took it up, and during the day Jell'er
son was besieged by reporters, none of
whom,-however, gained audience, Mr.
Jeflerson declining to aid in the pub
licity of the atiair. But it was too
good to keep and, nnd the "Little
Church Around the Corner" has been
made immortal. The great prejudice
against the dramatic profession has
crumbled at one blow, and the true
spirit of Christianity stems better un
derstood than ever before. The change
is wonderful, and no hater of bigotry
or lover of the good can refrain from
exclaiming with Jeflerson, "All honor
to the church around the comer." X.
Y. Vlube.
A Cure for Catarrh.
Take one part finely pulverized salt
petre, and mix with two parts white
sugar reduced to flour. This is an ef
fectual remeday in all stoppages of the
head, catarrh, etc. It must he entitled
up the nose a dozen times or more a
day, according to the severity of the
affection. Persons frequently die from
catarrh in the head, the disease becom
ing so bad that the mucus, instead of
discharging through the Hose, as it
should du falls down the throat and
lodges oil the uings, producing many
a sore throat, the cause of which is
not Siispected, aud terminating fatally,
in man v instances, in that most dread
ed of all diseases, coi.suniptioii.
Dr. Guthrie says: "Before Go 1 urnl
man, In-fore the ('iiiin h ami theworid,
I impeach intemper. nee. Iiharge it
w ilh the murder of innumerable souls,
In this country, blessed with freedom
and plenty, the word of God, and the
liberties of true religon, I chargu it as
tho cause whatever tie the source
elsewhere of almost all the poverty,
and all the crime, and almost all the
ignorance, and almost all the irreligion
that disgrace aud ulllict the land. 'I
am not mad, most noble Festus. I
speuk the words of truth and soher
neai.' I tin, my conscience, believe
that these intoxicating stimulants have
sunk into wretchedness more men and
woineu than found a grave in that
deluge which swept over tho highest
hill tops, engulphtng a world of which
but eight were saved."
Did any ever think f a surgeon's
troubles when a pretty girl is his vie
tim? The people of Fort Dodge.IowH,
voted that Miss Kitty Underwood wus
the most beautiful young lady in town.
Kitty had a felon mi her lkud, and a
surgeon was called to lance it. The
glitter of Kitty's eyes caused his hand
to tremble, and iu a second Kitty's
blood spurted into his face from a ar
tery he had severed. The Republican
says the wound bleeds so profusely
that it is feared the arm mtut be am
putated. While a Mississipj i Mam hunt was
taking on some like stock, a mule re
I'liood to hudi'.P, so the mate told a deck
hand to twist hi. tail. He twisted his
tail a twi-t or two, or perhaps three,
when something appeared to give way
there behind tiie mule, but the man
never knew what it was. It was a l t
of mule heels, and the dock bund left
a wile and two chiidau iu Ne Or
leans. An Illinois postuui-ter gives notice
as follows: "Af er this date evert body
must lick their own stumps, for luv
tongue's given out."
It is a rein irable fact that however
well voting ludies may bo versed in
j grammar, very few are tuallcd to
I afioe matrimony.
Max Ring, the German author, 1ms
published a new book, entitled "Louis
Napoleon Itonnpnrte," in which he
gives the following anecdote f tlie
early years of Hie ex-hniperor : W hen
a very little fellow, he used to pa,on
his way to school, a blacksmith shop,
around which he sometimes loiterrd.
One day he made the discovery that
the blacksmith was in the habit of
lighting his pipe with a long rod of
iron, and, watching for a favorable op
portunity, he drew the rod out of the
lire and replaced it with the hot end
left sticking out. so that when the
v v . v.v v..v ,. ......
8mith retur"LMl in n ftw 8RCon,,S af,cr
,tr,,mrn on,t -.!.
of the ci,unc took bold of the rod to
draw it out of ti,e fire, to light his
mm hc hatned hi8 i,.uid i,atl
T nh est,amatioll of paia nnd gur,
,,rifie was responded to bv a burst of
1 . . . . .t t .
uncontrollable laughter Jrnm the irre
IirrRHil)ll, Lo1, who hi)1(len llim
WHV 8()II1(,wilcre to cnjny thc lc,
TOffl of ni(,0 iittle prm,tical joke,
alui W, thus, despite ot himself, had
vtBe(l i,ia .ct.rct all(1 lis hiding.
!ln The ronsenuencfl wna that he
' ;..j ,i, I,,,,, i : ,i,, u ,i
n-Lcnrn n'c mov ucuiiu tuai. ou j lov
ably ever got iu Ins life t,Ndan except
ed; from the old smith, whose name
was Mavor, and who is still living and
well to do near Elhing
How much greater is the power of
an old song, n ith simple air and words,
than of those more dm, cult and art is
tic ones winch sometimes throw the
professional musicians into ecstacies of
delight. It nmy not be because there is
more music or more feeling to them;
but they are endeared to tho hearts of
the common people through familiari
ty, and associated with home scenes
of love and affectioli.and appeal to sen
timents and feelings thatcould not be
awakened, no matter how artistic, or
sparkling w ith gems of beauty. When
these have become familiar, and asso
ciated with the loves and joys of a
lifetime then, they will also beconio
"household words," and awaken the
same feelings ; but until such is the
case, the simple songs of yesterday
will be the most popular.
"There is no such thing, my wife
tells me," said a professionel man to
me, lately, "as obtaining a good cook
w ith a good character at anything like
reasonable wages. And I believe it.
We bail one, a very pluin cook, botb
in accomplishments and manners, to
whom we gave $100 per annum. Find
ing she knew nothing, 1 paid (15 to
have her properly instructed at a
cookery. This done, she immtdiate
ly demanded that her wages should be
doubled. As we declined to comply,
she left us, and obtained easily 8200
elsewhere. Reflecting on the loss of
our $15, my wife proposed that she
should herself take a of lessons
ut the said school, to which I jovfolly
agreed, and never has our money been
better invested.
There is a story cxtnnt of an absent
minded man who had the toothache.
He was a quarry niiin by profession,
and he concluded that the lust way to
rid himself of the afflicted tooth would
be to blast it rut. So he filled his
mouth with powder, fired a slow match
and ran around the corn r to get out
of the way of the rsult. When the
explosioti'oceurred l.e was surprised to
find hotv (dose it seemed. I; wits very
successful so far as the tooth was con
cerned; but when the Mount Con is tun
nel chap went home the general aspect
of his mouth resembled that of the
Dclawaie gap. The dentist says he
would not undertake to fit him with a
set of teeth, of the necessary size, for
less than a thousand dullars.
Many a man of respectable intellec
n rt I powers bus gone down to ruin, and
died mi-erably, because of his limp
ness, which made it impossible for him
to break new ground or to work at
anything whatsoever, with the stimu
lus of hope only. He must be bolster
ed up by certainly, supported by the
walls of his groove, else he can do
bothing; and if he cannot get into his
his friendly groove, ho lets himself
drift into destruction. Iu no manner
are limp people to be depended on;
their very central quality being fluidi
ty, which is a bad thing to rest ou.
At a late meeting of the Farmers'
Club, in New York, there happened to
be a peculiarly tine apple ot one vari
ety, which the chairman whs requested
I to" present to the handsomest lady
I pre-ent. This was rather a p iser for
the chairman, hut with his customary
readiiuss, he tilst bowed graciously to
the ladies, and then p icketed the fruit,
remarking that he dared uot introduce
an apple of discord into such a har
monious and intelligent assembly.
A gentleman ut Elmira wanted to
build a warehouse ou the ( In tilling, and found it necessary to drive
it lot of piles, so ho wrote to Horace
lirch v to lind out v. l.tit he could gel
a diivcr for in New Yoik. Horace
wrote lo him that l.e had been inquir
ing of the pr.'prit t els of the stage lima
tle rc. and found ti nt he could ret one
for Si!-") u inoiilh, and hourd and wash
ing, but hu advised him to employ
some countryman todtixe for him as
the city drivers were always gittin-'
ii I-:. h-
( '
: t :-n :ix;h
in len.-.'.i, I0 )" r J ear.
1 c -ill rv'l n! c-trtU'sni"!
These ntoH are .e.v, nod no deviation
vill he in i ie, or (t:.,-i,mbiitti'ii iiini
I eti-.ois. Tie1 rites o!.fe,t nro stu h. "is
will mal;e it t i the i lv:mlaeol ini-idoi
bu 'im -s in the limit "1 il,i, circulation of
tne paper to advertise liberal! v.
huiii.iiiowii ' iiiin nil " """"
Law is like a sieve ; you may see
tlironrrh it but von must be considerably
j . .
reduced before you can get through it.
The difference between a country
a. id a ritv greenhorn is that the oms
would like to know eVcrthing, and
the other thiuks he can tell him.
A little Boston girl joyfully assured
her mother the other day that rhe had
found out where they made horses
she had seen a man in a shop just
finishincr one of them, for he was nail
ing on his lust foot.
Little Jimmy WenB, a New l ork
newsboy, is the inventor of "walking
ofl on his car." He throws his heels
into the air, places his ear on the floor
ami propels himself rapidly across the
room by his hands,
A Detroit girl, who wears a leaver
and carries a cane, tried to kiss a hottl
w aiter t'other day. The insulted youth
complained to the landlord, who in
formed the oti'encr that sho must re
spect the men about the hotise.or leave.
A gentleman of Washington, hard
pushed for a compliment to a lair lady,
whose face was marred by an uudiuia
ble flat nose, n marked "
tire a fallen angel frcin Heaven, Lilt
yott fell on your nose."
Jno. Jacob Astor was addressed bv
a poor person once like this: "I wn-li
I had your wealth." "Would you take
caro of my propeity for your bread
and clothes asked A-tor."No."exciaim-ed
the querist. "That is all I get:"
replied Ailor.
A printer ilitnned a man for the
amount of his bill. The debtor aid
he was "Sorry cry sorry, indeed that
he couldn't pay it.'" "Well," said tho
printer, "I took you for a man that
would be sorry ; hut u you are sorrier
than I am I'll knock under." .
A frenllemnn littv'iut? a t0nv that
- -. b - ,
started and broke his wife a neck, a
neighbor told him that he wished to
purchase it for his wife to ride upon.
"No," says the other, "I will not sell
thc little fellow, becauso I inteud to
tnarrv ngain."
Mr. Hoffman, of Texas, was in a
barber's chair, getting shaved, when
an unknown man entered and shot
him dead.' The gross impropriety
of such familiarity, without the form,
ality of an introduction, will be wo
think, universally conceded.
At Cedar Falls, Iown, says an ex
change they get mad if a man goes in
to the theatre with a cigar in his mouth
aud puts bis heels on the shoulders of
the man in front of him. A man got
arrested just for that out three. '1 hero
is no socibility about some people.
A sirong movement is afloat at Boston
for the relief of the needle women and
othei working girls, ninny of whom are
now out of employment. Boarding
places wlnr living may he had at
small expeme will be istublibhid, and
other iihiliintl.ri pic piutis will souii be
carried uiit.
And now Phil. Pheridan is tumirg
bis intention to legal ucquirum ids.
He is to be married on his return from
Europe to Miss Bessie Law, one of tho
belli a of Zam svillo, Ohio. He evi
ih nt!y wants his diU of relat'ioin in
law, A father in lu a- Law, a mother
in law Law, a sister-in-law Law La i
Frank Bueliitti'.d, the well-known
naturalist, says the lust way of secur
ing one's portiiienteHti a speedy transit
through any custoni-houtc, British or
foreign, is to have a live snake cu the
lop of tho articles contained in it.
This is about the first suggestion for
utilizing suake since i'nir A .years ago,
had a pit tore of a Kentuckiau clean,
ing his meersehani pipe by "walkiug a
live rattlesnake through it."
A countryman was standing on one
of the w harves the other duv watchiutr
the progress of hoisting au anchor of a
schooner, winch we getting under
weigh, and as he saw the huge iron
rise from the water to the "Yo heave
oh!" of the sailors, he remarked : "You
mm houvA liiidi and heave low. but
you will never get that crooked thing
through that Iittlo hole I I Know Bet
ter." Harrison county can beat the mean
est man iu Indiana. A farmer in the
north part of that county has his aged
father living with him, and employed
at low wages. Last week the farmer's
child died, and na'urallv enough the
old nisti attended the funeral of his
grandchild. The duti'.'til son in set
tling w ith his father a f w davs after
the funeral, docked him for tho timo
be hud lost in attending tho child's
A worthy old gentleman in a nei;.h
boriiiir tow n is verv absent minded, and
I has a short memory. It is a mimm :i
habit with him in the pulpit to to-,
1 soineihii.L'. nnd iht n al;critlir." uowu
I to i ise up ugain, and hegiu ll ! lo
! ineiiiuiy riiurrk wilh tlie x j.r " u :
"By the wav." A few Sumt-i.
jle'g't 1, nil' way a jiayir,
! when he hisitllt'ed, h r.nt wlicl l.e vrs
! about, tt tut sat down ubruptly will nut
ilos:i ;j. In a i o iiKi:! or two, he je.-e
ai d 'f'i I - ioiceio r -iu Ue
auu iiic'. i i. ' i ti, 1. 1 tu.d : "Oh I
ly the way Amen."