r
rf
: V .
I
ill
if'
i h
! ,
tn I'UnLIsriKD EVERY TUESDAY, BY
W. tli DUNN.
DfTlco In Knox's Building, Elm, Street.
TERMS, f'2.00 A YEAR.
No Subscription received .for a shortor
period than three month.
Correspondence solicited from all parts
of tlio country. Xo tiutijo. will bo taken of
annonyiiious' communications.
Marrlagos and Death notice . Insortod
V gratis.
BUSINESS DIRECTORY.
TIONESTALODGK.NO. 477,
I. O- G. ' '
Meets every Wednesday evening, at 8
o'clock.
J. WIN ANS, W. C. T.
M. CLARK, W. S.
NKWTON FETTIH.
MICKS W. TATE.
PETTIS & TATE,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
jttm Street,
TIONESTAiTA.
y Isaac Ash,
ATTORNEY AT LAW, Oil City, Ta.
. - ' ' .Y Will practlco in'the various Courts of
". ' Forest County. All business entrusted to
"m ' .Sir care will recolvo prompt attention.
WE. Lathy,
ATTORNEY AT LAW AND SOLICI
TOR IN RANK ItyPTCY, Tioncsta,
Forest Co., Till, will practice In Clarion,
Vennngo and Warren Counties. Ollleo on
Elm Street, two doors above Lawrence's
roecry store. ' " - ' tf.
W. W. Mason, .
A
TTORNEY AT LAW. Office on F.lm
Slreet, above Walnut, Tionosta, l'a.
. C W. Gilflllan,
ATTORNEY AT LAW, Franklin, Vo-
nango Co., Ta.
tf.
... Holmes. House,
TrONESTA, TA., opposlfo tho Depot,
C. D.. Mahie. Proprietor. Good Sta
THi4;r conuuclrd ith tlio house. tf.
, Jos. Y. Saul,
PTMCTK'AL Harness Mnkcr and Part-
X dler. Threo doors north of Holmes
IIoumo, Tloiieslo, .Fa. All work Is war
ranted. tf.
Syracuse House, . ,
TIDIOUTK, Pa!, J. A D Maouk, Troplo
tors. The houso haibcen thoroughly
refitted and lunair in the first -class order,
Willi tlio best of acaiiinodii: Ions. .'.Any
n formal I'm concerning Oil Territory at
thianoint'iVill bo chocriullv furnished,
-ly J. AD. MAUKK,
Exchango Hote,
T OWER TTDIOIJTE, Pa., D.'S. Rams
.IJ DKKt. A, So Prop's. This house having
li Jn rollted is now the most doairablo slop
ping plaeo in luliouto.
srood Billiard
Jlooi;
loom attached.'
4 ly
National Hotel,
TRVINF.TON, PA. W. A. llallenbaek.
Proprietor. This hotel is New, and is
' ,iw open as a first class house, situate at
ne Inaction of the Oil Creok k Allegheny
-.liver and l'liiladelphla fe Erie Railroads,
pposito the l)eHt. I'arties having to lay
ver trains will laid this tlio most eonven
cut hotel in to,wn, with first-class accom
modations and reasonable charges, tf.
TifTt Son3 & Co. 's
NF.W ENGINES. Tho undorslgned have
forsalo and will receive orders for tho
wbove Engine. Messrs. Tittt Sons A Co.
are now sending to this market their 1--J
lorso Power Kngino with ll-JIorse I'owor
toiler peculiarly adapted to deep wells.
OfKhKs at Duncan A Clialtants, dealers
In Well Fixtures, Hardware, Ao., Main St.
next door to Cliaso House, Plcasn?itvillo,
and at Mansion llonso, Titiiaville.
tf. K. ItUKTT A SOS , A.Tfinta.
, John K- H.illock,
ATTORNEY AT LAW and .Solicitor or
Putents.No. fiUTi French :rcct(opposite
r Heed House) Erio, Fa. - Will practice in
theseveiHkl Slate Courts and tho United
States Courts. Special attention fcivcn to
.solicitir j patent for Inventors ; infringe
. incuts. re-lssue and extension of patents
.carefully attended to. References: Hon.
.James Campbell, Clarion: Hon. John S.
't McCalniont. Franklin; II. L. A A. It.
Illehftiond, McadvillC) W. E. Ijithy. Tl-
imosta. jm . 3 7
, Dr. J. L. Aconb,
PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON, who has
I had tiileen years' experience in a larjre
land suecessfnf practice, will attend all
Professional Calls. 1 Office In his Druir and
!rocery Store, located in (I'idioute, near
Tiuioute itouso.
IN HIS STORE WILL BE FOUND
A full assortment of Medicines, Liquors
Tobacco, Cigars, stationery, lilass. Paints,
.Oils, Cutlery, and fine Uroceries, all of the
. best quality, ami will be sold at reasonable
rates.
H. R. BURGS ESS, an experienced Drug.
.1: 1st from New York, has charge of the
-store. All prescriptions put up accurately,
tf.
W. P. Mercilllott,
Attorney at Law.
: JUSTICE OF THE PEACE, .
AND
I'REAIi ESTATE AGENT.
,TI 0 XFSTA, PA..
2T-t . .
JOHN A. DALE, PREi'T.
PHN A. PROPtB, VICtPRtST. A. H. STEELE, CASHft,
TIONESTA
SAVINGS BANK,'
. Tionesla, Forest Co., Fa.
This Bank trnnsacbi a Ooneral Banking,
Colloi'tiiiK and Kxi'hanfre Businms.
Dralts on the Principal Cities of the
U ni toil States and Europe bouu'lit, and sold.
(joki and Silver Coin anil Government
Securities bought and sold. 7-30 'Bonds
converted on tlio most favorable terms,
"interest allowed on Uino uU'pobits. ' 1
MA , tf.
, INSUIIANCE
;C0.-0F NORTH AMERICA,
No. 2:i2 Walnut St I"uila.
" Incorporated H94. Charter Pprpetual
.uARINE, INLANDS FIRE INSURANCE
Assets Jan; 1, 18o9, 2,348.323 39
820,000,000 losses paid since its organiza
tion. WM. liUilLKU, Central Agent,
Harrlsburg, Fa.
MILra W. TATE, Agent inTi-
nonta, Forest Couuty, Pa.
s6ui
Lot us havo Faith
.; ;:. : u.
iV0L.,IIL.N0. 35.- I
J, W. ROWLAND,
AI.KX. McbOWELIi
j J. W. ROWLAND & CO., :
MERCHANT TAILORS
: . v i i i . ....
AND PKAt.KnS IS .
CJcnis Furnlishlng Good,
And Agents for the Colebratod Orovor A
Baker Sewing Machine
LIBERTY STREET, NEAR'DOE
FRANKLIN, PENN'A.
2:2s tf.
WALLLIS'
I - I
M
M
P
K
O
V
E
D
M
A
a
1
c
P
ft
O
V
E
D
M
A
a
1
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IMPROVED
MAGIC
B ALM I
W. II. PERKINS & CO., f5oIe Propri,
etors, Franklin, Pa. ' 44 .
SonES HOUSE,-
' , CLARION, PENN'A. . .
S. a JONES i - -Proprietor.
STILL AHEAD.
OUR GREAT BOSTON
DOLLAR STORE!
Wo want Rood reliable aircnts In every
part of ths country. By eui))loyiii(r yoar
timo to form el 11 bh and sondinii us orders,
vou can obtain the most liboral commiss
ions either in Cash or Merchandise, and
all noods sent by us will bo as represented
and we guarantee satisfaction to every one
dealing with our houso.
, Agents should collect ton centa from ev
ery customer, and forward to Tis in ad
vance, for Descriptive lists of the goods
we Hell.
The holdora of the Checks, have the
checks have the privilogo of either pur
chasing the article thereon described, or ot
exchanging for any article mentioned on
our catalogno, nuriibcring over &00 differ
ent articles, not one of which can be' pur
chased in tho usual manner for the same
money.
The advantages of first sending the
Checks are these: We aro constantly buy
ing small lots of vory valuable goods, which
are not on our eatalogue, and for which we
issue checks until all are sold ; besides in
everv club we put checks for Watches,
Quilts, Blankets, Dress Patterns, or some
other article of equal value.
Wo do not oiler a-single artlclo of mer
chandise that can be sold by regular doaW
ers at our price. Wo do not ask you to
buy goods of us unless we can sell them
cheaper than you obtain thorn in any oth
er waywhile tho greater partot our goods
are sold at about
One Half tlio Regular Rates
Our stock consists In part, of the follow
ing goods :
Shawls, Blankets, Quilts, Cottons, Ging
hams, Dress (foods, Table Linen, Towels,
Hosiery, Oloves, Skirts, Coisot( Ac., e.
Silver-Plated Ware, Spoons Plated oil
Nickel Silver, Dossert Forks:, Frvo-ltotUe
Plated Castors, Brillminia Ware, Ulass
Waro, Tublt; anil Pocket Cutlery, in great
variety.
Elegant French and German Fancy
Goods. Beautiful Vhotngraph Albums,
the newest and choicest styles in Morocco
and velvet Bindings.
tJold and Plated Jewelry of tho newest
stvles.
"We have also made arrangements with
one of the leading publishing houses that
will enable us to sell the latest and stand
ard works of popular authors at about one,
half tho regular price : such as Byron
Mooro, Burns, Milton, and Tennvson's
Works, in Full Gilt and Cloth Bindings,
and hundreds of others. These and every
thing'clBo for
ONE DOLLAR FOR EACH ARTICLE.
In every order amounting to over $."0,
accompanied bv tlio cash, the agent may
retain 2; and in every order ovei $100,
KoO may bo retainod to PAY EXPRESS
CHARGES
. COMMISSION TO AGENTS.
For an order of $.10 from a club of thirty
we will pay the Agent as commission 33
J ards blenched or brown sheeting, good
dress pattern, all wool pants pattern , or
3.f0 in cash.
For an order of ffiO, from a club of sixty
we will pay the Agenl tiG yards, brown or
bleached sheeting, hunting case watch, all
wool shall, or f7,00in cash.
For an order of 100, from a club of 100
we will pay the agent HU vard 1 ward
wide, sheeting, splendid sewing machine
or (ill cash.
SEND MONEY BY REGISTERED LET
TE1I. For further particulars send for
catalogues. Address.
Geo. A. Plummer & Co.,, , .
(Successor to Harris A Plummer,)
30 and 40 Uanover St.. Boston, Mass
2 33 ly.
A CARD
A Clergyman, while residing in South
America as a mlssioiiaiy. discorved a safe
and simple remedy for the Cure of Ner
vous Weakness, Early Decay, Diseases
of the Urinary and Seminal Oigans, and
the whole train of disorders brought on
by baneful and vicious habits. Great num
bers have been uurud by this noblo reme
dy. Prompted by a dosire to beno&t the
atllicted and unfortunate, I will send the
recipe for preparing and usiiig this meili
l iiu, in asealud euvalope, to unv one who
need it, free of charge. Joat.ru T. Imman,
Station D, Bible House, N. Y. City. SO-4t
A Week Salary I Young
'''' men wanted as local and travel
ling salesmen. Adress (with stamp) It. II.
Walkkh, 34 Park Row, N. Y. 30-4t
AGENTS WANTED FOR
Hon. Wm. SEWARD'S GRAND TOTll
of Jexioo, Adventure and Sight-aeoiiig
in
"Our Sister Repuqlio."
Is a work of rare merit' profusely Illustra
ted. Sond for circulars to Columbian Book
Company, Hartford, Ct. S-3t
that Right makes Might i and
- Ji.iutL i
I TIONESTA, PA., TUESDAY, DECEMBER 6, 1870.
A MAN WITH TWENTY WIVES.
' A Mormon Romanced ' " '
CHAPTKR I.-THE MORMON'S DEPARTURE
The morning on which Reginald
Gloverson was to leave Great Salt
Lake City with a mule train, "dawned
beautifully. , .
Reginald Gloverson xvas a young
and thrifty Mormon, with an interest
farnily of twenty young and handsome
wives. ;s . ., '
' Ilia unions had nerer been blessed
with children. As often as once a year
he used to go to Omahii, in Nebraska,
with a mule trniu for goods, but al
though he had performed tho rather
perilous journey many times with en
tire safety, his heart was particularly
sad on this morning, and filled with
gloomy forebodings. .'.
The time for his deparluro had ar
rived tli high-spirited mules were at
tho door, impatiently champing 'their
bits, j The Morraonj stoodjattiy mjnig:
his weeping wives.
."Dearest ones," ho said ''I am sin
gularly sad at heart' this morning; but
do not let this depress you. . The jour
ney is a 'perilous one, but, pshaw ! I
have always come back safely hereto
fore, and why ehotild I fear? Besides,
I know that every night, as I lay down
on the broad starlit prarie, your faces
will come tone in my dreams and
make me slumber sweet and gentle.
You, Emily, with your roild blue eyes,
and you, Henrietta, with your spleu-.
did black hair; and you, Nelly, with
your hairdo brightly beautiful golden;
and you, Mollic, with your cheeks so
downy j and you, Betsy, with your
with your that is to say, Susan, with
your and the other thirteen of you,
each so good and beautiful, will come
to me in sweet dreams, will you not
dearesta ? . . .
"Our own," they lovingly chimed,
;'wewill?"T .. ,.;
"And so farewell!" cried Reginald.
"Come to my arms, my own !" ho said,
"tlidt is as many of you as can do it
conveniently at once, for I must
away." . , , , r; .
But he had not gone far, , when th
off hind raulo became unhitched. Dis
mounting, ho essayed to adjust the
trace ; bat ere he had fairly commenc
ed the task, the misle, a singularly re
factory animal, snorted wildly and
kicked Reginald frightfully in the
stomach. He arose with difliculty and
tottered feebly towards his mother's
house, which was near byyfa' g dead
in her yard, with the 'rem.. , "Dear
mother. I havo come home to die!"
. "So ' see," she said ; "where's the
muleii?"
Alas! Reginald could give her
no. answer. In vain the heart-stricken
mother threw herself upon his inani
mate form, carying;
"Oh, my son my son ! only tell
me where the mules are, and then yon
may die if you want to."
In vain in , vain ! Reginald had
passed over. : j.
CHAPTER II. FUNERAL TRATPINGS.
The mules were never found. '
Reginald's heart-broken mother
took the body home to her unfortunate
son's widows. But before her arrival,
she indiscreetly sent a boy to burst the
news gently to his afflicted wives,
which he did by informing them, in a
hoarse whisper, "that their old man
had gone in."
The wives felt very badly indeed.
"lie was devoted .to me," sobbed
Emily. ' "
. "And to me," said Maria.
' "Yes," said Emily, "he thought con
siderable of you, but not so much as
he did of me."
"I say he did r ,J- l' ' "
; "I say he didn't!''
"Ho did!"- . -
"He didn't!",.
"Don't look at me with your squint
eyes!"
"Don't shake your red head at me I"
"Sibters," said the black haired Hen
rietta, "cease this unseemingly wrang
ling. I, ashis tirst wife, shall strew
flowers on his grave."
"No you won't," said Susan. "I as
his last wife, shall strtv&lowers on hie
grave. It's my business to strew."' ' '
"You shant so there!" said Henri
etta. "You bet I will," said Susan, with a
tear-stifluscd check.
in that Faith let us to the end,
'.ij:::'L:- , . i.
' "Well, as for,mc,". said , the practi
cal Betsy,. "'I ain't on the strew, much
but, I shall ride at the head of. the fu
neral procession."
. "Not if I have been introduced to
myself, yon won't," said the golden
haired Nclly'that's my position. Yon
bet your bonnet strings it"s." ; !
"Children," said Reginald's mother,
"you must do some crying, you know
on the day of the funeral; and how
many pockcthandkercheis will it take
to go round t - Betsey, you and Nelly
ought to make one do between you."
"I'll tear her eyes out, if she perpe
trates a sob on my handkerchief!" said
Nelly.
"Dear dnughter-iu-law," said Regi
nald's mother, '"how unseemingis that
anger. Mules is five hundred dollars
a span, and every identical mule my
poor boy had hns been gobbled up by
the red men. . I knew when my Regi
nald staggered into the door-yard that
he was on the Die, but had I only
tli u ok to ask him about them mules
ere his gentle spirit took its flight, it
would have been four thousand dollars
in your pockets. You have never felt
n parents feelings." ; ;...' . '
"Its an oversight," sobbed Maria.
"Do not blame us."
CHAPTER III. DUST TO DUST,"
' The funeral passed off in a very
pleasant manner, nothing occuring to
mar the harmony of .the occasion. -By
a happy thought of Reginald's mother
the wives waled to tho grave twenty
abreast, which rendered that part of
the ceremony thoroughly impartial.
! That night the twenty wives with
heavy hearts sought their twenty re
spective couches. ' '
In another house not many 1 leagues
from the house of mourning, a gray
haired woman was weeping passionate-
'He died,' she cried, 'he died, with
out signerfying, in any respect, where
them mules went to I'
.-. ;, ' ; t; : "1-
CHAPTER IV. MARRIED AGAIN.
Two years elapse between the third
and fourth chapters, A manly MorH
mon one eveuing, as the sun was pre
paring to set among a sclec assortment
of gold and crimson clouds in the west
ern horizon although for that matter
the sun has a right to 'set' where it
wants to, a.id so, I may add, has a hen
a manly Mormon, I say, tapped at
tlio door of the mansion of the Regi
nald Gloverson.
The door is opened by Mrs. Susan
Gloverson. v.
"Is this the house of widow Glover
son TV. tho Mormon asked.
"It is," said Susjin.
"And how many is there of she?'
inquired the Mormon.
. "There is about twenty of her, in
cluding me," returned Susan.
"Can I see her?"
"You can."
"Madame," he softly said, address
ing the twenty , disconsolate widows,
"I've seen part of you before. And
although I've had twenty-five wives,
whom I respect and care for, I can
truly say that I never felt love's holy
thrill till I saw thee! Be mine! be
minel" he enthusiastically cried, "and
we will show the world a striking illus
tration of the beauty and truth of the
noble lines, only a good deal more so
"Twenty-one souls with a single thought,
Twenty-one hearts that beat as one."
They were united they were.
Trinidad ( Col.) Enterprise,
Despair. If tlajre is anything that
will kill a man, it is depair. It has
nerved the poor victin to steady the
knife on its way to his heart, . to the
core of life. It has flung the proud
woman who stood in her beauty and
loveliness, where before life was worth
living, into the filthy throng to be
trampled on, and a filthy thing her
self, an outcast frnm human love, a
poor wanderer from tho love of God.
Men and women are among us, on eve
ry side of us, who take our hand and
speak a passiug word, but they do not
live life ; they live instead, an awful,
ever-dying death. . Hope is gone, and
they word as the clock works, work as
a machine. Turn not too coldly, proud
fortune, from a fairer one who has fal
len at yonr feet sho was better than
you onco she stood up longer than
you could have doue the u your sis
ter she is God, '
dare do our duty as we understand it--LINCOLN.
. - 1 1 . -
A Murderer'! Unconcern.
From the Syracuse (N. Y.) Courier.
Walter Graham killed Samuel Otto
in Wf.yno county. He left the. body
when the deed was done, and went to
a lawyer in the village of Wolcott and
bad a paper drawn up which set fourth
an agreement between Otto and Gra
ham leasing 11 farm owned by Otto to
the latter. He also drew up a receipt
and forged Otto's name thereto, pur
porting to show that h had pid Otto
$700, ami then returned homet inform
ed the neighbors of the murder, went
with them to the place where the body
lay, and, after assisting them in bring
ing it homcj gave himself up to the
proper authorities. On his introduc
tion into the county jail, he was un
concerned as to what he had done, and
as to what the result would be. With
but few exceptions, from that time to
the present, when asked why he com
mitted the crime, he has replied that
it was done in self-defense, and in a
moment of anger; that Otto threw an
axe at him first, and 1 that he killed
Otto by throwing the Same in return.
He was tried and convicted last
Friday. When asked if he had any
thing to sny, he rose, and said: "I
want to say, there are some things they
(the witnesses) said, that I didn't men
tion. They said I said 'I meant to kill
him.' That is the Bible truth b thing
I never said to any one. I never told
I meant to kill him. I done it in self
defense, and I want all to understand,
that I have prepared myself, and that
I wouldn't flip a cent any way whether
I. live or die. They have to answer
for all these things at the judgment of
God. I ain't got to answer for them;
I answer for myself, and that is the
truth: I know I have friends I have
to leave, but for all that I hope I may
meet them in that place, and shall be
forgiven for all I have done."
i Judgo Dwight then addressed the
prisoner, : and sentenced him - to be
hanged on the 21st of December. '
Douglass' Estimate of Clay.
Donn Piatt gives the following as
Stephen A. Couglass' estimate of Hen
ry Clay :
Ho was a consummate actor, not so
honest as Tom Benton, nor, in my opin
ion, so able. Tom had not old Harry's
trick of oratory, but he had most
Statesmanlike views, and he was dead
in earnest. . Old Bullion believed in
the constitution And Tom Benton.
Henry Clay believed in nothing. I
have no doubt but that he used to
laugh in his sleeves at his Great
American System, as he called the tar
iff, and wonder , how men could be
gulled by suh stuff. He swore like a
trooper, drank to excess, and was pas
sionately loud ot gambling, ile wasl
the most dangerous person forayoun
man to know, for he made these vices
respectable. To this day. thsy swell
up in the South and say, "Be God" be
cause the great llarry would swell up
and say "Be God." He gambled in his
rooms, and shrewd observers used to
say that he used his facinating pow
ers of .Conversation to win his adver
sary's attention from hit cards or, if
a young man, would awe him with ut
ter confusion.
Ida Lewis.
A correspondent wonders how Ida
Lewis can handle the oars with such
power. She weighs only one hundred
pounds, is thin and not at ah the per
sonage the popular notion has made
of her. Her hands, it is said,are large,
her feet ditto, and what is not very
pretty in a heroine whoso name has
been eushrined in song, she does not
show mueh respect for Lindly Murray.
But then she performed a gallant act,
and the people houo gallantry wher
ever nud it. By the way, Ida
was a mother at that time of her re
cent marrlugo a mother and not a
widow. A certain captain in the navy
was the lover of the light-house keep
er's daughter when he wore the uniform
of a mid shipman.
The late James T. Brady once re
marked that his experience convinced
him that a man'twifo was his best law.
yer.
The people oC Springfield, Mass.,
felt another shock on Sunday morning,
whim tney supposed to do that or an .
earthquake. I
u; :
$2 PER ANNUM.
. , Beauties of Insurance. ,
A Calfornia Lnter-writer thus gives
his experience of insurance;
"Insuronce is a nice thing a beau
tiful system. ,1 tried it Once ; insured
a vessel,, , she' got nocked into
"smithereens;" had her repaired under
the eye of their agent., On settlement
they treated mo to a treatise ,on "jet-
om, "flotaom, "general average,"
"navigation,"' add several other scien
ces. A broker rendered a beautiful
document, all figured over ana ruled
in red ink, and we settled. , They first
charged me what I had paid for re
pairs, then charged it back to the ves
sel then charged the vessel the dif
ference between what she then was
and formerly was not then deducted
what she ought to have been charged
me back the insurance I had paid,
and having by some error a small bal
ance in my favor, they gave that to the
broker for making out the papers. Not
being a scientific mathematician,. I
took the document home and figured all
day on it, and the result stood thus: I
had been allowed the privilege of re
pairing my own vessel at my own cost
to pay two notes not half due, and
put $75 in Broker Jones' pocket for
the concoction of all the mysteries of
DaboH simmered down in red ink, and
tied up very tastily with green ribbons.
It is a very pretty thing I have it yet;
and If I am ever sentenced to solitary
confinement in Sing Sing, I want the
privilege of taking the document with
me. In ton or fifteen years I miaht
begin to comprehend it. You re some
on figuers, Jones, you are." .
The Bad Habits of Choirs."
The New York Examiner thus des
cribes a "fashionable choir:".. "The
choir loft ten feet behind and the feet
above the worshippers ; then the four
teen sorts of, tune books ; then the bal
ustrade to hide tho praisers ; then the
praisers themselves, who come tripping
to their places with exuberant satisfac
tion and demonstrative delight; then
their salutious and greeting, which in
any other part of the church would be
considered intocrably irreverent( there,
fore tho choir loft is not recognized as
a part of the church, or the inhabit
ants a part of the worshippers ;) then
titter, a disease which is as incurable
in choirs as it is inseparable from them;
then solemn singing with a background
of merry smiles, hilarious nudging and
characteristic (not to say choristio
winks; then a grand reconnoiteringof
tune-books, accompanied by appropri
ate whispers, during the piayerorthe
reading of the Hcly Bible; then a lit
erary entertainment,or an exchange of
penciled notes on all tha great ques
tions that interest the human mind
excepting religion ; then the transfor
mation of the choir into a sleeping car,
of which tho chorister is conductor,
who wakes up his passengers when it is
time to go to praising again.
-Oue dark night not Jong ago, a
burglar entered a private house in
Sixth avenue. On ascending one flight
of stairs he observed a light in a cham
ber, and while hesitating what to do, a
large woman suddenly descended upon
him, seized him by the throat, forced
him down through the hall, and push
ed him into the street before he had
time to think. ''Heroic repulse of a
burgular by a woman," was the way
the story appeared in the papers next
day. But when friends called and
congratulated her upon her courago,
she exclaimed, "Goodness gracious ! I
I didn't know, it was a burglar. If
I had, i should been frightened half to
death. I thought it wad my husband
come home drunk again, and I was de
termined he shouldn't stay iu the houso
in that condition."
Some young men talk about luck.
Good luck is to get up at six o'clock
in the morning. Good luck,, if you
havo only a shilling senveck Is to live
on eleven penco and save a peiiny.
Good luck is to trouble yourjhead with
your own and let others' business alone.
Good luck is.fulfill the commandments,
do unto other peoplo as we wish them
to do ucto us. We must plod and f es
severe. Pence must be taken care 'ci'
because they are the seeds of guineas.
To ''get on in the world," we nfust
take care of home, sweep our own
doorways clean, try to help other peo
pie, avoia temptations, ana nave faith
irt truth and God.
j RatoCtfrAdverti8ing.
One Rquaro(l Inch,) one Insertion Jl r
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One Square . " threo months. .-11 00 .,.
One Square " one year 10 00'
Two Squares, one year .......15 00
Quarter Col. " SO 09
Half " " - , HO 00
One " ' 100 00
Business Cardsr not exceeding on Inch
Vn lengUi, fJO per year. ,".''
Legal notices at established rotes. . -.
These rates' are low, and no deviation
vl)l be made, or discrimination among
natrons. The rates offered re such, s
ill make it to the advtntngoof men rtol.
business in the limits of the circulation of '
trie paper to advertise liberally.
; The.Raffle of a Belle.' ; '
;, ! Considerable excitement was created
among the young unmarried men of
New York last week by an annouce
went which appeared in the CommeT'
rial Advertwcr,to the edict that on a cer
tain evening a beautiful heiress was to
be raffled away to some lucky swain
at the Pair which was then being held
for the benefit of the Foundlirg
Asylum.. The reason given for this aj
parent sacrifice was that the young
lady In question considered marriage
a lottery at beet, and sho was as will
ing to be disposed of at a raffle as any
other way. The prospect of having a
chance to obtain a wealthy wife by iff- '
vesting five dollars proved an irresisti
ble attraction to those of the male sex
whose affections were ui.plnced, and
whose pockets were not overburdened
with superfluous funds. Accordingly,'
on the appointed evening, the Fair was
thronged with m galaxy of brilliant'
but impecunious young men, each with -the
requisite amount for a single
chance at least in this lottery which
was to confer on some favorite of for
tune not only a wife, but abundant
means for the support of hcrsolf and
husband.
But alai for human expectations !
It was all a mistake a cruel, harrow
ing joke 1. Marriage may bo a lottery .
in the opinion of many young and at"
tractive heiresses, but the one who
was willing to be disposed of at a raf
flo was not to bo found. . Heiresses -
must bo wooed as well as their, less
pretcusious sisters, and those who 'as
pire to win the hands of the wealthy
and beautiful; must still expect that .
parents and guardians will not be as
particular as ever before in examining .
their bank accounts and financial pros
pects, and yet a beautiful and elegant .,
ly dressed belle was raffled off accord-
ding to annoncement, but though her .
attire was costly, Mat beauty was all
waxen, and wealth did not exceed her ...
market value as a doll.
It is but fair to state that this'inno- ,
cent joke, which was, nevertheless, the
means of stirring up the smouldering
fire of love in many a manly breast,
was perpetrated by a well known
journalist, and not by the ladies of tho.
Fair, who were as innocent of it as
any of the puzzled beaux, who, how
ever, were as thoroughly sold thereby
as the waxen belle which summoned
them from their clubs and evening en
tertainments. A young lady who sometimes in
dulges her wit, " without regard to
expense" of feeling on the part of
those at whom the barbed darts aro
hurled, recently asked our village dry
goods clerk this question : " Why is
your mousiache like a black hair?"
He blushingly gave it up when the
answer, sharp and rather starical,
caused him to blush still more : "Bo
Cause it's all down I"
A young man at San Francisco,
finding that the object of hia heart's
dearest affection would not listen to a
proposition of marriage, procured an
old pistol, which he fiilled with powder
and paper, and discharged it at her,
with the view of winning her over tt
his way of thinking; but the young
lady took it as a genuine attempt to
murder her, and had him committed'
to await the action of the Grand Jury.'
"Mother said a little shaver tho
other day, 'I know what I "Would do
if I was at sea, and the men were all
starving and they should draw lots to
see who should be killed and eaten,
and it should be me I'd jump into
the water." "But," said the mother,'
"they would fish you up." "No," said
ho, "tor I wouldn't bite."
A Western editor accused another'
of having stole his report at a meeting
which was recognized by certain ear- '
marks. Tho retort courteous is that"
the first editor ihould tie his ears over
tlis top 6f LTs head while writing to ,v
keen llieui out of the itik bottle."
. m. u
An Albauy girl wats-itrkuow
whlher the woman's rihrooveiheuts"
includes .Upright to do" the courting.
If.4t docs the iu fuvor of it ; as the
young men in her viciuity are bashful.
Murk Twain says that the Sand-, .
wich Island dibit of plain dog "is oaljw
tho cherished American sausage-with '
thw mystery removed." vT' .
St
i
r