Jorwt jgcpuMifira.
r pvni.tsnni) eveut tuerdat, bt
7. It. D UNIT.
3fRc In Kro'a Building, Eln Street
R w?m in a at
Jb 0HEST
1
-21-
TKIlMfl, 2.00 A YEAH.
No Subscription received for a shorter
period than tnreo month.
Correspondence solicited from nil parts
or the country. No notice will bo taken of
annonyiiious' communications.
Marrio,;oa and Death notice Inserted
gratis.
BUSINESS DIRECTORY.
TIONKS.TA LODGE, NO. 477,
I. O. O-. TJ " i
Meet every Wednesday evening, at 8
clock.
W. R. LATHY, W. C. T.
M. W. TATK, W. S.
NEWTON rKTTIH.
MI I. Kit W. TATR.
PETTIS & TATE,
Attorneys at law,
'Aim Street,
TIOXESTA, rA.
Isaac Ash,
ATTOnxr.Y AT LAW, Oil City, Ta.
Will practice in tlio various Courts of
Forest County. All business entrusted to
ail cure will recolvo prompt attention.
1 ly
W. E. Latty,
ATTORNEY AT LAW AND ROLI0I
TOR IN BANKItTPTCY, Tlonesta,
Korcst Co., Pft., will practice In Clnrlon,
Vcnamto and Warren Counties. OIHce on
Kim Street, two doors above Lawrence's
,rocery storo. tf.
W. W. Mason,
ATTOTtNKY AT 1V on too on Kim
Street, abovo Walnut, Tionesta, Pa.
C. W. Gllfillan,
ATTOrtNKY AT LAW, Tranklin-, Vo
ikuiko Co., Ta. tf. ,
HolrrtPS House, .
TIOXKSTA, TA., opposite the Depot.
C, 1). Miilile, Proprietor, liood Sta
bliiin conneclcil with the Iiouhc. tf.
Jos. Y. Saul,
IJRACTICAL Harness Maker and Sad
dler. Three doors north of Holmes
llonso. TioncNta. l'a. All work is war
ranted. J tf.
Syracuse House,
.mm r..t"iiTt. T w I it . r. .. T .. !
-l tors. 1'hn Iioiiho I him been thoroughly
refined and is now in the tirst-closa order,
wilh the licst of accommodations. Any
nforinaiion coiiccrniiiir Oil Territory at
this point will bo cheerfully fiirniHhcil.
-ly J.4D.MAUER,
' Ex c.hang Hote,
T OWKU TIDIOUTE, Ta., P.'S. Rams
'.LJ ikki, A Sox Prop's. This house having
been relited is now the most desirable stop-
i i 1 1 vc place In Tidioute. A good ll.lliurd
tooni attached. ' 4-ly
National Hotel,
XRVINKTON, PA. W. A. TTallenback,
Proprietor. This hotel is Nkw, and Is
iiiw open aa first class house, situate at
nejunction oftheOil Creek A Allegheny
Kiveriuid Philadelphia A Krie Kailroads,
pposite tlie Depot. Parties having to lav
ver trains will find this the most eonvon
ent hotel in Uiwiv, with 11 rut-class accom
modation and reasonable liarues. tf.
TilTt Sons & Co.'s
NKW KN (SINKS. The undorsiprncd have
formilcand will receive orders for the
above 1 limine. Mraars, Tillt Sons fe Co.
are now KcudiiiK to this market their 12
llorne Power Engine with U-Horse Power
Jioi'er peculiarly alapted to deep wells.
Ukku ki at Duncan A Chullant's, dealers
fn Well Ki.tures, llardwurc, ,vc., MainSt.
next door to Chaxo House, 1'lca.sautville,
aiifl at Munition House, Tjtusville.
tf. K. DUETT & SON, Agenta.
Joh,r K. Hallock,
TTORNKY ATJiAW and Solicitor or
Pnlcnts.No. fxi."i Erench streotloniiosite
Kced 1Ioiim) Krio, Pa. Will practice in
the several Slalo Courts and the United
Mutes Courts. Special attention given to
solicit!" patents for Inventors ; Infringe
ments, re-lNHue and extension of pHtcnts
t-.irefullv attended to. Itcl'crences: Hon.
lames Campls'll, Clarion; Hon. John S.
McCalmont, Franklin; II. I.. A A. It.
I'Jchmoiid, Meadville; W. E. Lathy. Ti
onesta. 2 7
Dr. J. L. Acorrb,
PHYSICIAN AND SritGEON, who has
hail fifteen years" experience in a large
and successful practice, will attend all
Professional Calls. Oltlce In his Drug and
(iroccry Store, located iu Tidioute, near
Tidioute House.
IN HIS STOKE WILL BE FOUND
A full assortment of Medicines, Liquors
Tnhai-co, Cigars, Stationery, Ulass, Paints,
ils. Cutlery, and tine Groceries, all of the
best quality', and will be sold at reasonable
rales.
11. II. RURGKSS, an experienced Drug
I 1st from New York, has charge of the
store. All prescriptions put up accurately.
ti".
W. P. MercilUott,
Attorn e y at Law.
JUSTICE OF THE PEACE,
ANn
IlEtl. i:TATU AEXT.
TIOXESTA, PA.
27-tf
JOHN A. DALE, PREt'T.
OHM A. PROPER, VICE PR EST. A. M. STEELE, CA8HR,
TIOUESTA
SIDINGS BANK,
. . TioneMn, Foiest Co., Pa.
T'iiis ltaii transat.Li a General Ranking,
.Collecting and Exchange Itusincfca.
ltrufts on .the Principal Cities of the
United States and Europe bought and sold.
tioldand Silver Coin and Government
Securities bought and sold. 7-:UI ISonds
ionverted ou the most favorable terms,
1 uteres! allowed on time deposit.
Mar. 4, tf.
INSURANCE
CO. OF NORTH AMERICA,
No. 232 Walnut St Thila.
Incorporated 1794. Charter Perpetual
MARINE. IKLAr,D FiREINSURAHCE
Assets Jan; 1, ItM'J, $2,348.323 39
J.iO.onO.OOO losses paid since its organiza
tion. WM. HL'HLKH, Central Agent,
J larrisburg, J'a.
MILE3 W. TATE, Agent in Ti
onesta, Foret County, Pa.
6 in
Let us havo Faith
VOL. III. NO. 32.
J. W. ROWLAND,
AI.KX. MO OOW K I.I,
J. W. ROWLAND & CO.,
hie r:c:h.ant tailors
AND DEALERS IN
CJcnts' Farnlskilng Cool,
And Agents for the Celebrated Qrover &
"llakcr Sewing Machine.
LIBERTY STREET, NEAlt DOE
FRANKLIN, PKNN'A.
2 28tf.
"W ALIjLIS
M
P
R
O
V
E
D
M
A
Q
I
C
M
P
It
O
V
E
D
M
A
O
I
C
IMPROVED
MAGIC
23 Jk- Hi 2& I
W. II. PERKINS A CO., Solo Propri
etors, Franklin, Pa. . 44
JONES HOUSE,
CLARION, PENN'A.
S. S. JONES
Proprietor.
STILL AHEAD.
OUR GREAT BOSTON --"
DOLLAR STORE !
We want good reliable agents In every
part of the country. Ity employing your
time to form eliilm and aending'us orders,
you can obtain the nmst HIktiiI eommiss
lons eitlior in . l ash or Merchandise, and
all goods sen by uh will be aa represented
aud we guarantee satisfaction to every one
dealing Willi our house.
Agents should oollcct ton cents from ev
ery vuMomer, and forward to tin In ad
vancn, for Deacriptive lists of the good
wo sell, v
Tho holders of tlio Checks, have the
checks have the privilege of either pur
chasing tho article thereon deacrilied, or ol
exchanging for any article mentioned on
our catalogne, nttmbering over 500 differ
ent article. not Nie of which can be pur
chvsed in the usual manner lor the Dame
money.
Tho advantages of first sending the
riM'cks are these : We are constantly buy
ing small lot of very valuable goods, which
are not on our catalogue, an 1 for which we
Issue clic ks until all are solil; Ixodes in
every club we put checks for Watches,
Quilts, lllankets, Dicss l'atterna. or some
other article of eual value. -We
lo not offer a sinu if article of mor-
"chandiHO that can lx' sold by regular dcul-
era at our price. Wo do not ask you to
luiv goods of us unless, we can sell them
cheaper than you obtain them in any oth
er way while the greater part ol our goods
are sold at about
One Half tho Regular Rales
Our stock consists in part, of the follow
ing goods :
Shawls, lilankets, Quilts, Cottons, Olng
hniiiH, Dress tiiHHls, Table Linen, Towels,
Hosiery, I .loves, Skirts, Corsets, te., cVe.
Hilvor-l'laled Waro, Kpivina Plated on
Nickel Silver, Dessert Forks, Five-ltottlo
Plated Castors, Itrittannia Ware, til ass
Ware, Table aud Pocket Cutlery, in great
variety.
Elegant French and German Fancy
floods. Beautiful Photograph Albums,
tne newest and choicest styles in Morocco
and velvet ltindiiigs.
Gold and Plated Jewelry of the newest
stvles. . r .. .
"We have also made arrangements with
one of the leading publishiiiu houses that
will enable uh to sell the latest and stand
ard works of popular authors ataboutono,
half the regular liricr? : such as Byron
Moore, Itiirns, Milton, and Tennvson's
Works, in Full Uilt and Cloth Bindings,
and hundreds of others. These and every
thing else for
ONE DOLLAR FOB EACH ARTICLE.
In every order amounting to over 650,
accompanied by the cash, tho agent mny
retain $2 ; and in every order ovei Sit)'),
$4.(Hi niav lie retained to PAY EXPllKSS
C1IAKUES
COMMISSION TO AGENTS.
For an order of f.'!0 from a club of tlilrtv
we will pay the Agent as ec m mission "Si
yards bleached or brown sheeting, good
dress pattern, all wool pants pattern, or
(3.50 in cash.
For an order of fCO, from a club of sixtv
we will pay the Agent 05 yards, brown o'r
bleached sheeting, hunting case watch, all
wool sl:all, or 7,miin cash.
For an order of JUKI, from a club of 100
we will nay tho agent 110 vard 1 ward
wide, sheeting, splendid sewing machine
or $11 cash.
SEND MONEY BY REGISTERED LET
TEH. For further particulars send for
catalogues. Address.
Geo. A. Hummer & Co.,
(Successor to Harris Plummer,)
30 and 40 Hanover St.. Boston, Mass
2 33 ly. .
VIS KG A II made from Cider, fco., iu 10
houa wi'hout Djugs. Send 10 cents
for Circular to F. SAUE, Cromwell, Conn.
TVTEWSPAPEU ADVKKTIK1NU. A
Kew Book of 12& pages. Prli 30 cts.
bymail. American News Co., N. Y. U-it
THE
BOOT AND SHOE
STORE. .
IF YDTT WANT ft perfect fit and a good
article of Boots and Shoes, of the tluest
wuriituausiiip, go tAJ
If. I.. JleCAXCirs,
39 CENTRE STREET, OIL CITY, PA.
,a-Satisfaction guaranteed. 2-33 tf.
IEST STORY PAPER
u the Universe. A fo
" po every suhscib.
r. duiiu siaiup tor
i'rir-e Cireular and
ELLIOTT, Publisher,
frfiAuiieit. J.
UoMton Mot,
that .Risht makes Might ; and
TIONESTA, PA., TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 15, 1870.
A Debtor Cornered.
i
Very a'lroit was t!io march tliat Lije
Lootnis dtole on tlie "Statute of Limi
tations." Lije was tlio factotum of
Guy's ;Neck. lie did a miscellaneous
business us carpenter, cow-doctor, cof
finmaker adding t It is otlicr func
tions Unit of undertaking to the coun
ty Poor-lionse. lie was, withal, an
easy, good-natured fellow, free to trtidt
and m t-t indulgent creditor.
Among the others whom Lije had
trusted to his cost was Grog Grimc.9,
without exception the greatest promise
maker and breaker in Guy's Neck. I
verily believe he would, if possible,
have put a creditor oti" till tlm Last
Judgment, and then, ou tho score of
being a bus-y day, have begged him to
wait till to-morrow.
Greg had wheedled Lije with prom-,
ises till the hitter's chtiiu was "outlaw
ed." Losing patience at last, Lijo
took hij account over to the Squire's,
when to hi no small discomfiture, he
learned that unless ho could get a new
promise from his debtor, with a wit
ness to it, lie might whistle for his bill.
Such fellows as Greg always, know a
good deal of law, imperially Iho tharp
of it. Greg would talk as freely, and
as full of promises as ever when he
and Lije were alone, but before others
would either evade the subject, or else
remain provokiugly mum.
One day Lije drove up to Greg's
door with ins old cray maro and spritis
wagon, a plain pine cofiin one of
those flat-topped affairs deemed good
enough for poor folks being behind
the seat.
"Mornin, neighbor," said Lije.
"Sume to you,"aid Greg, "goiu t
plant a pauper, I see." t
"Y-a-a-s; old Boke took rather sud
den t leave last night, and went to try
the charity of another world."
"Which is no inor'n fair," said
Greg,"seein' how long he's lived ou the
charity of this."
"Would you mind geltiti in and
comiu' along neighbor?" said Lije; "it
is mighty dull goin to a funeral all
alone by oue's self."
Greg didn't mind, but straightway
mounted by Lije's side.
The two chatted away, after a sort,
to prove how cheerful good company
can render even a grave occasion.
"I 'spose you haven't forgot that
little bill 'o mine?" Lijo at last took
the liberty to hint.
"Not by no means," said Greg.
"Let's see, now how much did you
say it was? I misremembcr rightly."
"Eveu sixty-nine dollars, besides
seven years' interest."
"Quite right," Greg assented; "I
recollect now."
"Ef it's at all inconvenient to pay
it," said Lije, "don't you put yourself
out on no accouut."
"I've been thrcatenin' to pay it for a
month back," said Greg; "but times
hcv been tight; an an' how would
Monday-week do?"
"To a dot," answered Lije.
"I'll send it round," said Greg.
A curious sound came from tho cof
fiu. Tho ghost of a chuckle, Durdles
would have called it. Gitggavo one
jump and "lit" in an adjacent cow
pasture. Looking back he saw Lije's
'pientice," the most misthevous imp iu
Guy's Neck, but with plenty of sense
aud lawful age to be a witness, sitting
up iu tho coiliiu aud laughing like
mad !
Greg took in tho situation at a
glauco. lie hud been duped into com
miting himself befuro a witness.
"It's a dirty nasty, tueau trick !" he
exclaimed.
"What is it?" said Lijo. :
"Why, trifliu' with a body's feelin's
about old Boke, lauLiu' b'lieve he's
dead !"
"An" so ho is," said Lijo, "only I
was goin' arter the body, iustid of
futchen' it away."
Greg turned otr in disgust, Lije
bawling after him :
"Don't forget Monday-weok, and
p'r'aps it'll save both of us some
trouble."
Greg didn't forget, but has never
more than half enjoyed himself at a
funeral eiuee.
Now and then they cut ofT'lhe
ears of a horse thief in Oregon, and
then telegraph east that tlio crops
were never better than "(Jiy. are this
easou, ' i
in that Faith let us to tho ond,
The Right Thing to Do.
If "bundling" was ever fashionablo
and looked upon its innocent in Penn
sylvania it must have been p'nyed out.
L:ibt week, I chanced to visit one of
the dutchest of Dutch settlement?, nnd
stopped for tho night with an old
Sourcrout himself. Of course, the ta
ble was bountifully loaded. I count
ed six different kinds 'of pickles, five
of cake, and as for sweetmeats, and
jams, and jellies and mamalaoes, and
fruit, butter, and canned pears aud
peaches, and so forth, I can't begin to
enumerate. I only know that no man's
internals ever contained such an infer
nal conglomeration without he has
visited the interior of "Pennsylvania."
If it hadn't hecu fur the supper, I
should' havo been perfectly ' at easo
though I noticed old Sourciout was
far from being so. '.
"I wonder," (don't ask me to give
you even tho faintest idea of his
language; it was no more like Eng
lish than H. G.'s writing is li!;e pen
manship!) "where Be.-sy can bo all
the time.?" ho kept muttering aloud to
his vrow, who was modeled after tho
fashion of a corpulent pounding bar
rel.
I soon learned that Betsy was the
"solo daughter of h:s house," and that
she had gone fr.ua home the previous
day to attend cotnpmeeting, upon
which they are heavy in that latitude.
My modesty (?) kept me from asking
any more questions, and after I had
smoked with old Sourcrout untii I was
sick and dizzy ,and the mess I had plac
ed myself outside of (catch me ever
doing it pgiiu) wo. king, and drank
half a gallon of sour cider, I crawled
off to bed. But I hadn't cot fairly
buried among tho feathers wish the
woman that invented them was, well,
first tarred, and them rolled up in one
before I heard a vngn drive up,
sume one two rather, come in, and
old S's tongue start off wagging.
"Where you come from Betsy you
and Hans?" he asked, between a growl
aud a vawn.
. "Cumptnecting, dad."
"Why didu't you come homo last
night?"
"We did start Hans and I but
wagon broke down and we had to
stop."
"Hans and you?" .
"Yaw. It was as dark as dondor,
and 'vo couldn't git on and it was
raining, and so we stayed until day
light." "Where you stayed ?"
"Iu tho red school house."
(As if every school house in. the
whole east, end uf tho State wasn't
red!)
"Hans and you?"
"Yaw.". '
"Who else?"
"Nobody."
"Only Huns aud you, Betsy?"
"That's all."
"Donder and Blitzen!"
"But soon as it was light we. drove
on, got thc-wagon fixeJ, aud camo on
to the big woods."
"And the wagon broke again ?"
"No ; we got lost."
"And you stayed there all day?"
"Yaw; we couldn't find our way
out."
"And it took you till now Huns
and you long after midiiigat?"
"Yaw."
"Well, Hans and you'll git married
quicker, After staying all r.igjht iii a
school house Hans and you and be
ing lost all day in a thick woods-Huns
aud you that's tho the right thing to
do for Hans and you."
ThO old man didn't in the least
doubt the honesty of the girl of Hans
(u3.ho told me privately,) but he in- j keep warm, and relates the following
tended to keep them so, aud if I hud startling experience : "We once rode
remained over I might have danced at j with a girl in an open cutter fifteen
the wedding. And I would had done j miles, on one of the coldest nights of
so had way stomach been cast iron and j winter, and while we sat frozen stiff as
and my digestion that of an anaconda. ' a stake, our teeth chattering likecasti
But I had realizing recollections of nets, she kept up an animated conver
tho previous night's supper, and knew eation, every now and then exclaiming,
a wedding one would be my death. "Oh, isn't this delightful ! Don't you
Still, for all that, I camo away satis-j enjoy it?" When we arrived at our
tied that old Sourcrout had hit upon ; destination, notwithstanding we were
the "right thing to do," iu all such ' dressed a great deal warmer than our
cases made and provided and iu view . fair companion, she had to lift us cut
of the future.
A California jury in a suicide case
lately found the following verdict:
"We, tho jury, find that the deceased
was fool,"
daro do our duty as wo understand if--LINCOLN.
A Young Man Hugged Against hit
Will..
A most ludicrous scene transpired in
a -place not a thousand miles from
liouisvillc, one night recently, which,
although a little annoying to the per
sons immediately concerned, was just
so innocent and funny that wo cannot
refrain from giving the general out
lines, suppressing names, of course.
Two sprightly and beautiful young
ladies were visiting their cousin, an
other sprightly nnd young lady, who,
like her guests', was of that happy ago
which turns everything into fun and
merriment. If the truth were told, we
fear we should have to record the fact
that these three misses were just a lit
tle fust. They were fond of practical
jokes, and were continually playing
all sorts of pranks with each other.
AH three occupied a room on tho
ground floor, aud cuddled up in one
bed.
Two of the young ladies attended a
party on the night in question, and did
not get homo until half-past twelve
o'clock at night, As it was late they
concluded not to disturb the household,
bo they stepped quietly into their room
through the low, open wiudow.
About half an hour after they had
left for the party, a young Methodist
minister called at the house where they
were staying, and craved a night's
lodging, which of course was granted.
As ministers always have the best of
leverything, the old lady put him to
sleep in the best room, and tho young
lady (Fanny) who had not gone to the
the party, was entrusted with tho duty
of silting up for tho absent ones, and
informing them of the change of rooms.
She took up her post in the parlor, and
as the Dight was sultry, sleep soon
overtook her, and sho departed on an
excursion to the land of dreams.
Wo will now return to tho young
ladies who had gone to their room
through the window. By the dim light
of the moonbeams as they struggled
through tho curtains, the young ladies
were enabled to descry the outlines of
Fanny, as they supposed, ensoonced iu
the middle of the bed, and a pair of
boots on tho floor. They saw it all.
Fanny had set the boots in the room
to give them a good scare.
They put their licads together and
determined to turn the tables on her.
Silently they disrobed, and stealthily
as cats they took up their position on
each side of the bed. At tho given sig
nal they both jumped into bed, one on
eace side of the unconscious pnrson,
laughing aud screaming, "Oh, what a
man !" Oh, what n man !" They gave
the poor bewildered parson such a pro
miscuous hugging and tussling as few
persons are able to brag of iu the course
of a life time.
The noise of tho proceedings awoke
tho old lady who was sleeping in an
adjoining room. Sho comprehended
the situation in a moment, nnd rushing
to tho room she opened tho door aud
exclaimed :
"Gracious, gals, it is a man sure
enough !"
' 'I hero was one pr donged consolida
ted scream ; a flash of muslin through
the door, and ull was over.
The bestof the joko is that the min
ister took the whole thing in earnest.
Ho would-take no apologies the old
lady could offer for the girls. He
would hear no excuse, hut solemnly
folded his clerical robes about him, and
silently stole uway.
Query Was he mad at the girls or
at tho old woman. Louisville Jour-
The Bchenecluily Aor is puzzling
itself over tho conundrum why girln
can dress as thinly Ui they do and still
of tho cutter and conduct us to the
tropical kitchen of a furm-houso. On
the return trip we were frozen to death
and fhe drove the corpse homo. It
must be that girls are a great deal
! tougher than we men people."
$2 PER ANNUM.
A Curious Manner? of Deciding a
Claim.
Two gentleman of high birth, tho
one a Spaniard and the other a Ger
man, having rendered the Emperor
Maximilian the Second many services,
they each, for recompense, demanded
his daughter Helena in marriage. The
prince, who entertained equal respect
for each of them, could not give the
preference to either; and aficr much
delay he told them that, ns both had
equal claims to his attention and re
gard, ho could not give Lis definite
consent to either of them to marry his
daughter, and that they must decido it
by their own strength and address ; but
us he did not wish to risk tho loss of
either or both by suffering them to
fight with offensive weapons, he had
ordered a large bag to bo brought,
and ho who should be successful
euough to put his rival in it, should
obtain his daughter. This extraordi
nary duel took place in presence of
the whole imperial court, and lasted
nearly an hour. At length the Span
iard yielded, and the 'German, the
Baron of Talbert, when he had put
his rival into the bag, took him on his
back and placed him at the feet of the
Emperor, who, on tho following day,
gave the victor his daughter Helena in
marriage.
William Tell Outdone.
Two you'pg men, Alfred Kibbling
and Charles Greenwood, residing in
the town of Dublin, N. H., having
procured a pistol amused themselves
by each in turn shooting an apple
from tho other's head. Tho shooting
was quite accurate, and the apple was
pierced several times; but 3ally
Grecuwood failed to elevate his piece
enough, and the bullet passed through
Kibblitig'8 scalp. It entered near tho
forehead, glanced up oil the skull bone,
nnd came out two inches further back,
directly in the centre of the top of hie
head, without doing serious injury.
The fun commenced by each in turn
holding an apple in his hand for the
other to shoot at, when, finding their
aim quite accurate, it was transferred
to the head, with the above result. The
distance form tho marksman to his
mark was about twelve feet. Kibbling
wa3 not at all concerned at his wound,
and left the field, bragging that he
was tho better marksman of the two.
George P. Kowcll & Co., of New
York, tho well known and enterpris
ing advertising agents, havo purchased
the agency of John Hooper fc Co., of
the same city, an equally well known
and reliable firm, and by tho union of
the two will have by fur the largest
and most flourishing advertising estab
lishmcnt in tho country; and if it is as
well mauaged in the future as iu the
past it cannot fail to become still more
ciL'iuitic and successful. Messrs. Kow
cll & Co. publish the Anicricau News
paper Directory, tho most complete
volume of tho kind ever issued iu this
or any other country, and at their New
York office they keep on file more thau
five thousand periodicals, vhieh are
always open to the free use of their
patrons when in New York. Both the
retiring partners of the lute firm of J
Hooper & Co., aro to remain with Geo,
1. Uowell & Co. for some months, un
til their own business matters can be
adjusted, after which Air. Wayne con
templates going abroad, and Mr. John
j Hooper, who hits been elected treasti
rer of the Col wells, Shaw and Willard
manufacturing compuny, of New York,
will give his attention to the introduc
tion of the putent tin-lined lead pipe
an article of great merit, extensively
manufactured and sold by that compa
ny. Springfield Republican, Oct. 18th,
1870.
A printer once had a quarrel with
his employer, and after cursing to the
full extent' of his ability, wound up
villi this professional anathema; "I
wish he was iu Tex us, with his buck
broke, setting diamond italics at ten
cents per thousand."
They have some vgry wicked chil
dren down at Scranton. A Presbyter
ian Synod was lately in session there,
. and a precious young rascal aked his
father if the Mayor intended to in
creusethe police force while it was in
session. He ought to be sent to Sun
day school six days iu the, wtk, aud
the- seventh to church.
Rates of Advertising.
One Pillars fl Inch,) one lnnrtirm....fl (4
Ono Square " nnehloftth 8 00
due Square three months... l .1
One Square " one year 10 00
Two Squares, one year..., 15 M
Quarter Col. " a j 00
Half . ' " M 00
One " " 100 00
Business Cards, not exceeding one Inch
In length, 10 per year.
Legal notices a! established rates.
These rates are low, and no deviation
a ill bo made, or discrimination among
atrons. The rates otlered are such, w
will make it to tlie advantage of men dot.
business in the limit of the circulation of
the t aper to advertise liberally.
A Fxih 7:t. Two wags passingout
of town on the Galveston road says
the Kansas Tribune, were struck with
the benuties of Lawrence. .
"Whose place is that?" said one of
them.
"That is the lordly residence of Ma
jor Gcorgo A. Reynolds. Cost thirty
thousand dollars."
"What is his business?"
"Indian Agent."
"What is his salary, and how long
has he held his office?"
. "Two years, at fifteen hundred dol
lars a yetfr."
"Lord, what did the honest fellow
do with the rest of his salary ?"
"Started his brother and two other
honest men in the newspaper buisincts
to denounce corruption."
Don't "paste this in yottr hat,"
where you will never see it, and it
can't "get through your wool" except
by a trepanning opertion, but stick it
on the fly-leaf of your prayer book,
where it will surely fall under your
eye daily, at your morning devotions.
It is a scrap of proverbial philosophy
from Micawber: "Annual income
twenty pounds; annual expenditure
uinetecn, eleven and six ; result hap
piness. Annual income, twenty pound
annual expenditure, twenty pounds,
eight and six ; result misery. The
blossom is blighted ; the leaf is with
ered ; the good of day goes down up
on tho dreary scene; and in short,
you aro forever floored." Ex.
One afternoon lately, a New York
policeman observed au individual ap
proaching him in a most besotted and
miserable condition. His face was full
of cuts and bruises, his clothes wcro
torn and blood-stained, and his whole
appearance indicated the misery of his
situation. He wa3 on the point of fall
ing through' a cellar of considerable
depth, and the consequences would in
nil probability have been of a serioua
nature. This miserable creature proved
to be Daniel McFurlitud, who shot A.
D. Ilichardson. .
Newspaper subsrlptions aro infal
lible tests of men's honesty. If a man
is dishonest ha will cheat the printer
in some way say the money was lost
by mail or will take a paper not pay
for it, on the plea that he did not sub
scribe for it; or he will move off leav
ing the paper to come to tho office he
left. Thousands of professing chris
tians are dishonest, as tho printer's
books will tell fearfully at the judg
ment day.' Are there any guilty ones
who read this paragraph ?
A gentleman was once traveling
in .Tennessee, and was obliged to stop
in a furm-houso for the night, owing to
the ( scarcity of hotels. During the
progress of the evening meal, 1-0 ob
served an urchin tugging at a leaf of
bread. At length the urchin cried out:
"Granny, thar's liar ou this broad."
The old lady remarked that it was only
a piece of corn silk. "Corn silk !" ex
claimed ho, "how came corn silk to
have a nit ou it? That's what I waut
to know."
The demoralizing influence of
temperance is seen in the following de
claration of a Kane City girl who said,
iu a maiden speech : "Cider is a
necessity of life, and I must have it.
If it is decided that we are out to
drink cider, I shall cat apples, and get
some young man to squeeze me for I
uiust have the juico of the apple."
Two cent stamps are still required
ou bank checks, under tho new reve
nue law; but they are not necessary
on receipts for money or tho payment
of a debt, nor need there be any stamps
put upon promissory notes for less thau
one hundred dollars, nor on assign
ments of mortgages which have becu
once duly stamped.
A woman is cither worth nothing
or a great deal. If good for nothing,
sho is not worth getting jealous for; if
she be a true woman, she will give no
cause for jealousy. A man is a brute
to be jealous of such a woman u fool
to bo jealous of a worthless one but a
double fool to cut his throat for cither
of them.
"Nominate your family disturb
ance," is the Vicksburg styla of asking
whut'U you take to drink ?
"Solomon, I fear you ate forget
ting me," paid a bright-eyed girl to her
lowr the other day. "Yes, Sue," said
slow Sol, excusing himself, I have tu.u
for gettiug you thv two ywrs."