The Forest Republican. (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, November 15, 1870, Image 1
Jorwt jgcpuMifira. r pvni.tsnni) eveut tuerdat, bt 7. It. D UNIT. 3fRc In Kro'a Building, Eln Street R w?m in a at Jb 0HEST 1 -21- TKIlMfl, 2.00 A YEAH. No Subscription received for a shorter period than tnreo month. Correspondence solicited from nil parts or the country. No notice will bo taken of annonyiiious' communications. Marrio,;oa and Death notice Inserted gratis. BUSINESS DIRECTORY. TIONKS.TA LODGE, NO. 477, I. O. O-. TJ " i Meet every Wednesday evening, at 8 clock. W. R. LATHY, W. C. T. M. W. TATK, W. S. NEWTON rKTTIH. MI I. Kit W. TATR. PETTIS & TATE, Attorneys at law, 'Aim Street, TIOXESTA, rA. Isaac Ash, ATTOnxr.Y AT LAW, Oil City, Ta. Will practice in tlio various Courts of Forest County. All business entrusted to ail cure will recolvo prompt attention. 1 ly W. E. Latty, ATTORNEY AT LAW AND ROLI0I TOR IN BANKItTPTCY, Tlonesta, Korcst Co., Pft., will practice In Clnrlon, Vcnamto and Warren Counties. OIHce on Kim Street, two doors above Lawrence's ,rocery storo. tf. W. W. Mason, ATTOTtNKY AT 1V on too on Kim Street, abovo Walnut, Tionesta, Pa. C. W. Gllfillan, ATTOrtNKY AT LAW, Tranklin-, Vo ikuiko Co., Ta. tf. , HolrrtPS House, . TIOXKSTA, TA., opposite the Depot. C, 1). Miilile, Proprietor, liood Sta bliiin conneclcil with the Iiouhc. tf. Jos. Y. Saul, IJRACTICAL Harness Maker and Sad dler. Three doors north of Holmes llonso. TioncNta. l'a. All work is war ranted. J tf. Syracuse House, .mm r..t"iiTt. T w I it . r. .. T .. ! -l tors. 1'hn Iioiiho I him been thoroughly refined and is now in the tirst-closa order, wilh the licst of accommodations. Any nforinaiion coiiccrniiiir Oil Territory at this point will bo cheerfully fiirniHhcil. -ly J.4D.MAUER, ' Ex c.hang Hote, T OWKU TIDIOUTE, Ta., P.'S. Rams '.LJ ikki, A Sox Prop's. This house having been relited is now the most desirable stop- i i 1 1 vc place In Tidioute. A good ll.lliurd tooni attached. ' 4-ly National Hotel, XRVINKTON, PA. W. A. TTallenback, Proprietor. This hotel is Nkw, and Is iiiw open aa first class house, situate at nejunction oftheOil Creek A Allegheny Kiveriuid Philadelphia A Krie Kailroads, pposite tlie Depot. Parties having to lav ver trains will find this the most eonvon ent hotel in Uiwiv, with 11 rut-class accom modation and reasonable liarues. tf. TilTt Sons & Co.'s NKW KN (SINKS. The undorsiprncd have formilcand will receive orders for the above 1 limine. Mraars, Tillt Sons fe Co. are now KcudiiiK to this market their 12 llorne Power Engine with U-Horse Power Jioi'er peculiarly alapted to deep wells. Ukku ki at Duncan A Chullant's, dealers fn Well Ki.tures, llardwurc, ,vc., MainSt. next door to Chaxo House, 1'lca.sautville, aiifl at Munition House, Tjtusville. tf. K. DUETT & SON, Agenta. Joh,r K. Hallock, TTORNKY ATJiAW and Solicitor or Pnlcnts.No. fxi."i Erench streotloniiosite Kced 1Ioiim) Krio, Pa. Will practice in the several Slalo Courts and the United Mutes Courts. Special attention given to solicit!" patents for Inventors ; Infringe ments, re-lNHue and extension of pHtcnts t-.irefullv attended to. Itcl'crences: Hon. lames Campls'll, Clarion; Hon. John S. McCalmont, Franklin; II. I.. A A. It. I'Jchmoiid, Meadville; W. E. Lathy. Ti onesta. 2 7 Dr. J. L. Acorrb, PHYSICIAN AND SritGEON, who has hail fifteen years" experience in a large and successful practice, will attend all Professional Calls. Oltlce In his Drug and (iroccry Store, located iu Tidioute, near Tidioute House. IN HIS STOKE WILL BE FOUND A full assortment of Medicines, Liquors Tnhai-co, Cigars, Stationery, Ulass, Paints, ils. Cutlery, and tine Groceries, all of the best quality', and will be sold at reasonable rales. 11. II. RURGKSS, an experienced Drug I 1st from New York, has charge of the store. All prescriptions put up accurately. ti". W. P. MercilUott, Attorn e y at Law. JUSTICE OF THE PEACE, ANn IlEtl. i:TATU AEXT. TIOXESTA, PA. 27-tf JOHN A. DALE, PREt'T. OHM A. PROPER, VICE PR EST. A. M. STEELE, CA8HR, TIOUESTA SIDINGS BANK, . . TioneMn, Foiest Co., Pa. T'iiis ltaii transat.Li a General Ranking, .Collecting and Exchange Itusincfca. ltrufts on .the Principal Cities of the United States and Europe bought and sold. tioldand Silver Coin and Government Securities bought and sold. 7-:UI ISonds ionverted ou the most favorable terms, 1 uteres! allowed on time deposit. Mar. 4, tf. INSURANCE CO. OF NORTH AMERICA, No. 232 Walnut St Thila. Incorporated 1794. Charter Perpetual MARINE. IKLAr,D FiREINSURAHCE Assets Jan; 1, ItM'J, $2,348.323 39 J.iO.onO.OOO losses paid since its organiza tion. WM. HL'HLKH, Central Agent, J larrisburg, J'a. MILE3 W. TATE, Agent in Ti onesta, Foret County, Pa. 6 in Let us havo Faith VOL. III. NO. 32. J. W. ROWLAND, AI.KX. MO OOW K I.I, J. W. ROWLAND & CO., hie r:c:h.ant tailors AND DEALERS IN CJcnts' Farnlskilng Cool, And Agents for the Celebrated Qrover & "llakcr Sewing Machine. LIBERTY STREET, NEAlt DOE FRANKLIN, PKNN'A. 2 28tf. "W ALIjLIS M P R O V E D M A Q I C M P It O V E D M A O I C IMPROVED MAGIC 23 Jk- Hi 2& I W. II. PERKINS A CO., Solo Propri etors, Franklin, Pa. . 44 JONES HOUSE, CLARION, PENN'A. S. S. JONES Proprietor. STILL AHEAD. OUR GREAT BOSTON --" DOLLAR STORE ! We want good reliable agents In every part of the country. Ity employing your time to form eliilm and aending'us orders, you can obtain the nmst HIktiiI eommiss lons eitlior in . l ash or Merchandise, and all goods sen by uh will be aa represented aud we guarantee satisfaction to every one dealing Willi our house. Agents should oollcct ton cents from ev ery vuMomer, and forward to tin In ad vancn, for Deacriptive lists of the good wo sell, v Tho holders of tlio Checks, have the checks have the privilege of either pur chasing tho article thereon deacrilied, or ol exchanging for any article mentioned on our catalogne, nttmbering over 500 differ ent article. not Nie of which can be pur chvsed in the usual manner lor the Dame money. Tho advantages of first sending the riM'cks are these : We are constantly buy ing small lot of very valuable goods, which are not on our catalogue, an 1 for which we Issue clic ks until all are solil; Ixodes in every club we put checks for Watches, Quilts, lllankets, Dicss l'atterna. or some other article of eual value. -We lo not offer a sinu if article of mor- "chandiHO that can lx' sold by regular dcul- era at our price. Wo do not ask you to luiv goods of us unless, we can sell them cheaper than you obtain them in any oth er way while the greater part ol our goods are sold at about One Half tho Regular Rales Our stock consists in part, of the follow ing goods : Shawls, lilankets, Quilts, Cottons, Olng hniiiH, Dress tiiHHls, Table Linen, Towels, Hosiery, I .loves, Skirts, Corsets, te., cVe. Hilvor-l'laled Waro, Kpivina Plated on Nickel Silver, Dessert Forks, Five-ltottlo Plated Castors, Itrittannia Ware, til ass Ware, Table aud Pocket Cutlery, in great variety. Elegant French and German Fancy floods. Beautiful Photograph Albums, tne newest and choicest styles in Morocco and velvet ltindiiigs. Gold and Plated Jewelry of the newest stvles. . r .. . "We have also made arrangements with one of the leading publishiiiu houses that will enable uh to sell the latest and stand ard works of popular authors ataboutono, half the regular liricr? : such as Byron Moore, Itiirns, Milton, and Tennvson's Works, in Full Uilt and Cloth Bindings, and hundreds of others. These and every thing else for ONE DOLLAR FOB EACH ARTICLE. In every order amounting to over 650, accompanied by the cash, tho agent mny retain $2 ; and in every order ovei Sit)'), $4.(Hi niav lie retained to PAY EXPllKSS C1IAKUES COMMISSION TO AGENTS. For an order of f.'!0 from a club of tlilrtv we will pay the Agent as ec m mission "Si yards bleached or brown sheeting, good dress pattern, all wool pants pattern, or (3.50 in cash. For an order of fCO, from a club of sixtv we will pay the Agent 05 yards, brown o'r bleached sheeting, hunting case watch, all wool sl:all, or 7,miin cash. For an order of JUKI, from a club of 100 we will nay tho agent 110 vard 1 ward wide, sheeting, splendid sewing machine or $11 cash. SEND MONEY BY REGISTERED LET TEH. For further particulars send for catalogues. Address. Geo. A. Hummer & Co., (Successor to Harris Plummer,) 30 and 40 Hanover St.. Boston, Mass 2 33 ly. . VIS KG A II made from Cider, fco., iu 10 houa wi'hout Djugs. Send 10 cents for Circular to F. SAUE, Cromwell, Conn. TVTEWSPAPEU ADVKKTIK1NU. A Kew Book of 12& pages. Prli 30 cts. bymail. American News Co., N. Y. U-it THE BOOT AND SHOE STORE. . IF YDTT WANT ft perfect fit and a good article of Boots and Shoes, of the tluest wuriituausiiip, go tAJ If. I.. JleCAXCirs, 39 CENTRE STREET, OIL CITY, PA. ,a-Satisfaction guaranteed. 2-33 tf. IEST STORY PAPER u the Universe. A fo " po every suhscib. r. duiiu siaiup tor i'rir-e Cireular and ELLIOTT, Publisher, frfiAuiieit. J. UoMton Mot, that .Risht makes Might ; and TIONESTA, PA., TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 15, 1870. A Debtor Cornered. i Very a'lroit was t!io march tliat Lije Lootnis dtole on tlie "Statute of Limi tations." Lije was tlio factotum of Guy's ;Neck. lie did a miscellaneous business us carpenter, cow-doctor, cof finmaker adding t It is otlicr func tions Unit of undertaking to the coun ty Poor-lionse. lie was, withal, an easy, good-natured fellow, free to trtidt and m t-t indulgent creditor. Among the others whom Lije had trusted to his cost was Grog Grimc.9, without exception the greatest promise maker and breaker in Guy's Neck. I verily believe he would, if possible, have put a creditor oti" till tlm Last Judgment, and then, ou tho score of being a bus-y day, have begged him to wait till to-morrow. Greg had wheedled Lije with prom-, ises till the hitter's chtiiu was "outlaw ed." Losing patience at last, Lijo took hij account over to the Squire's, when to hi no small discomfiture, he learned that unless ho could get a new promise from his debtor, with a wit ness to it, lie might whistle for his bill. Such fellows as Greg always, know a good deal of law, imperially Iho tharp of it. Greg would talk as freely, and as full of promises as ever when he and Lije were alone, but before others would either evade the subject, or else remain provokiugly mum. One day Lije drove up to Greg's door with ins old cray maro and spritis wagon, a plain pine cofiin one of those flat-topped affairs deemed good enough for poor folks being behind the seat. "Mornin, neighbor," said Lije. "Sume to you,"aid Greg, "goiu t plant a pauper, I see." t "Y-a-a-s; old Boke took rather sud den t leave last night, and went to try the charity of another world." "Which is no inor'n fair," said Greg,"seein' how long he's lived ou the charity of this." "Would you mind geltiti in and comiu' along neighbor?" said Lije; "it is mighty dull goin to a funeral all alone by oue's self." Greg didn't mind, but straightway mounted by Lije's side. The two chatted away, after a sort, to prove how cheerful good company can render even a grave occasion. "I 'spose you haven't forgot that little bill 'o mine?" Lijo at last took the liberty to hint. "Not by no means," said Greg. "Let's see, now how much did you say it was? I misremembcr rightly." "Eveu sixty-nine dollars, besides seven years' interest." "Quite right," Greg assented; "I recollect now." "Ef it's at all inconvenient to pay it," said Lije, "don't you put yourself out on no accouut." "I've been thrcatenin' to pay it for a month back," said Greg; "but times hcv been tight; an an' how would Monday-week do?" "To a dot," answered Lije. "I'll send it round," said Greg. A curious sound came from tho cof fiu. Tho ghost of a chuckle, Durdles would have called it. Gitggavo one jump and "lit" in an adjacent cow pasture. Looking back he saw Lije's 'pientice," the most misthevous imp iu Guy's Neck, but with plenty of sense aud lawful age to be a witness, sitting up iu tho coiliiu aud laughing like mad ! Greg took in tho situation at a glauco. lie hud been duped into com miting himself befuro a witness. "It's a dirty nasty, tueau trick !" he exclaimed. "What is it?" said Lijo. : "Why, trifliu' with a body's feelin's about old Boke, lauLiu' b'lieve he's dead !" "An" so ho is," said Lijo, "only I was goin' arter the body, iustid of futchen' it away." Greg turned otr in disgust, Lije bawling after him : "Don't forget Monday-weok, and p'r'aps it'll save both of us some trouble." Greg didn't forget, but has never more than half enjoyed himself at a funeral eiuee. Now and then they cut ofT'lhe ears of a horse thief in Oregon, and then telegraph east that tlio crops were never better than "(Jiy. are this easou, ' i in that Faith let us to tho ond, The Right Thing to Do. If "bundling" was ever fashionablo and looked upon its innocent in Penn sylvania it must have been p'nyed out. L:ibt week, I chanced to visit one of the dutchest of Dutch settlement?, nnd stopped for tho night with an old Sourcrout himself. Of course, the ta ble was bountifully loaded. I count ed six different kinds 'of pickles, five of cake, and as for sweetmeats, and jams, and jellies and mamalaoes, and fruit, butter, and canned pears aud peaches, and so forth, I can't begin to enumerate. I only know that no man's internals ever contained such an infer nal conglomeration without he has visited the interior of "Pennsylvania." If it hadn't hecu fur the supper, I should' havo been perfectly ' at easo though I noticed old Sourciout was far from being so. '. "I wonder," (don't ask me to give you even tho faintest idea of his language; it was no more like Eng lish than H. G.'s writing is li!;e pen manship!) "where Be.-sy can bo all the time.?" ho kept muttering aloud to his vrow, who was modeled after tho fashion of a corpulent pounding bar rel. I soon learned that Betsy was the "solo daughter of h:s house," and that she had gone fr.ua home the previous day to attend cotnpmeeting, upon which they are heavy in that latitude. My modesty (?) kept me from asking any more questions, and after I had smoked with old Sourcrout untii I was sick and dizzy ,and the mess I had plac ed myself outside of (catch me ever doing it pgiiu) wo. king, and drank half a gallon of sour cider, I crawled off to bed. But I hadn't cot fairly buried among tho feathers wish the woman that invented them was, well, first tarred, and them rolled up in one before I heard a vngn drive up, sume one two rather, come in, and old S's tongue start off wagging. "Where you come from Betsy you and Hans?" he asked, between a growl aud a vawn. . "Cumptnecting, dad." "Why didu't you come homo last night?" "We did start Hans and I but wagon broke down and we had to stop." "Hans and you?" . "Yaw. It was as dark as dondor, and 'vo couldn't git on and it was raining, and so we stayed until day light." "Where you stayed ?" "Iu tho red school house." (As if every school house in. the whole east, end uf tho State wasn't red!) "Hans and you?" "Yaw.". ' "Who else?" "Nobody." "Only Huns aud you, Betsy?" "That's all." "Donder and Blitzen!" "But soon as it was light we. drove on, got thc-wagon fixeJ, aud camo on to the big woods." "And the wagon broke again ?" "No ; we got lost." "And you stayed there all day?" "Yaw; we couldn't find our way out." "And it took you till now Huns and you long after midiiigat?" "Yaw." "Well, Hans and you'll git married quicker, After staying all r.igjht iii a school house Hans and you and be ing lost all day in a thick woods-Huns aud you that's tho the right thing to do for Hans and you." ThO old man didn't in the least doubt the honesty of the girl of Hans (u3.ho told me privately,) but he in- j keep warm, and relates the following tended to keep them so, aud if I hud startling experience : "We once rode remained over I might have danced at j with a girl in an open cutter fifteen the wedding. And I would had done j miles, on one of the coldest nights of so had way stomach been cast iron and j winter, and while we sat frozen stiff as and my digestion that of an anaconda. ' a stake, our teeth chattering likecasti But I had realizing recollections of nets, she kept up an animated conver tho previous night's supper, and knew eation, every now and then exclaiming, a wedding one would be my death. "Oh, isn't this delightful ! Don't you Still, for all that, I camo away satis-j enjoy it?" When we arrived at our tied that old Sourcrout had hit upon ; destination, notwithstanding we were the "right thing to do," iu all such ' dressed a great deal warmer than our cases made and provided and iu view . fair companion, she had to lift us cut of the future. A California jury in a suicide case lately found the following verdict: "We, tho jury, find that the deceased was fool," daro do our duty as wo understand if--LINCOLN. A Young Man Hugged Against hit Will.. A most ludicrous scene transpired in a -place not a thousand miles from liouisvillc, one night recently, which, although a little annoying to the per sons immediately concerned, was just so innocent and funny that wo cannot refrain from giving the general out lines, suppressing names, of course. Two sprightly and beautiful young ladies were visiting their cousin, an other sprightly nnd young lady, who, like her guests', was of that happy ago which turns everything into fun and merriment. If the truth were told, we fear we should have to record the fact that these three misses were just a lit tle fust. They were fond of practical jokes, and were continually playing all sorts of pranks with each other. AH three occupied a room on tho ground floor, aud cuddled up in one bed. Two of the young ladies attended a party on the night in question, and did not get homo until half-past twelve o'clock at night, As it was late they concluded not to disturb the household, bo they stepped quietly into their room through the low, open wiudow. About half an hour after they had left for the party, a young Methodist minister called at the house where they were staying, and craved a night's lodging, which of course was granted. As ministers always have the best of leverything, the old lady put him to sleep in the best room, and tho young lady (Fanny) who had not gone to the the party, was entrusted with tho duty of silting up for tho absent ones, and informing them of the change of rooms. She took up her post in the parlor, and as the Dight was sultry, sleep soon overtook her, and sho departed on an excursion to the land of dreams. Wo will now return to tho young ladies who had gone to their room through the window. By the dim light of the moonbeams as they struggled through tho curtains, the young ladies were enabled to descry the outlines of Fanny, as they supposed, ensoonced iu the middle of the bed, and a pair of boots on tho floor. They saw it all. Fanny had set the boots in the room to give them a good scare. They put their licads together and determined to turn the tables on her. Silently they disrobed, and stealthily as cats they took up their position on each side of the bed. At tho given sig nal they both jumped into bed, one on eace side of the unconscious pnrson, laughing aud screaming, "Oh, what a man !" Oh, what n man !" They gave the poor bewildered parson such a pro miscuous hugging and tussling as few persons are able to brag of iu the course of a life time. The noise of tho proceedings awoke tho old lady who was sleeping in an adjoining room. Sho comprehended the situation in a moment, nnd rushing to tho room she opened tho door aud exclaimed : "Gracious, gals, it is a man sure enough !" ' 'I hero was one pr donged consolida ted scream ; a flash of muslin through the door, and ull was over. The bestof the joko is that the min ister took the whole thing in earnest. Ho would-take no apologies the old lady could offer for the girls. He would hear no excuse, hut solemnly folded his clerical robes about him, and silently stole uway. Query Was he mad at the girls or at tho old woman. Louisville Jour- The Bchenecluily Aor is puzzling itself over tho conundrum why girln can dress as thinly Ui they do and still of tho cutter and conduct us to the tropical kitchen of a furm-houso. On the return trip we were frozen to death and fhe drove the corpse homo. It must be that girls are a great deal ! tougher than we men people." $2 PER ANNUM. A Curious Manner? of Deciding a Claim. Two gentleman of high birth, tho one a Spaniard and the other a Ger man, having rendered the Emperor Maximilian the Second many services, they each, for recompense, demanded his daughter Helena in marriage. The prince, who entertained equal respect for each of them, could not give the preference to either; and aficr much delay he told them that, ns both had equal claims to his attention and re gard, ho could not give Lis definite consent to either of them to marry his daughter, and that they must decido it by their own strength and address ; but us he did not wish to risk tho loss of either or both by suffering them to fight with offensive weapons, he had ordered a large bag to bo brought, and ho who should be successful euough to put his rival in it, should obtain his daughter. This extraordi nary duel took place in presence of the whole imperial court, and lasted nearly an hour. At length the Span iard yielded, and the 'German, the Baron of Talbert, when he had put his rival into the bag, took him on his back and placed him at the feet of the Emperor, who, on tho following day, gave the victor his daughter Helena in marriage. William Tell Outdone. Two you'pg men, Alfred Kibbling and Charles Greenwood, residing in the town of Dublin, N. H., having procured a pistol amused themselves by each in turn shooting an apple from tho other's head. Tho shooting was quite accurate, and the apple was pierced several times; but 3ally Grecuwood failed to elevate his piece enough, and the bullet passed through Kibblitig'8 scalp. It entered near tho forehead, glanced up oil the skull bone, nnd came out two inches further back, directly in the centre of the top of hie head, without doing serious injury. The fun commenced by each in turn holding an apple in his hand for the other to shoot at, when, finding their aim quite accurate, it was transferred to the head, with the above result. The distance form tho marksman to his mark was about twelve feet. Kibbling wa3 not at all concerned at his wound, and left the field, bragging that he was tho better marksman of the two. George P. Kowcll & Co., of New York, tho well known and enterpris ing advertising agents, havo purchased the agency of John Hooper fc Co., of the same city, an equally well known and reliable firm, and by tho union of the two will have by fur the largest and most flourishing advertising estab lishmcnt in tho country; and if it is as well mauaged in the future as iu the past it cannot fail to become still more ciL'iuitic and successful. Messrs. Kow cll & Co. publish the Anicricau News paper Directory, tho most complete volume of tho kind ever issued iu this or any other country, and at their New York office they keep on file more thau five thousand periodicals, vhieh are always open to the free use of their patrons when in New York. Both the retiring partners of the lute firm of J Hooper & Co., aro to remain with Geo, 1. Uowell & Co. for some months, un til their own business matters can be adjusted, after which Air. Wayne con templates going abroad, and Mr. John j Hooper, who hits been elected treasti rer of the Col wells, Shaw and Willard manufacturing compuny, of New York, will give his attention to the introduc tion of the putent tin-lined lead pipe an article of great merit, extensively manufactured and sold by that compa ny. Springfield Republican, Oct. 18th, 1870. A printer once had a quarrel with his employer, and after cursing to the full extent' of his ability, wound up villi this professional anathema; "I wish he was iu Tex us, with his buck broke, setting diamond italics at ten cents per thousand." They have some vgry wicked chil dren down at Scranton. A Presbyter ian Synod was lately in session there, . and a precious young rascal aked his father if the Mayor intended to in creusethe police force while it was in session. He ought to be sent to Sun day school six days iu the, wtk, aud the- seventh to church. Rates of Advertising. One Pillars fl Inch,) one lnnrtirm....fl (4 Ono Square " nnehloftth 8 00 due Square three months... l .1 One Square " one year 10 00 Two Squares, one year..., 15 M Quarter Col. " a j 00 Half . ' " M 00 One " " 100 00 Business Cards, not exceeding one Inch In length, 10 per year. Legal notices a! established rates. These rates are low, and no deviation a ill bo made, or discrimination among atrons. The rates otlered are such, w will make it to tlie advantage of men dot. business in the limit of the circulation of the t aper to advertise liberally. A Fxih 7:t. Two wags passingout of town on the Galveston road says the Kansas Tribune, were struck with the benuties of Lawrence. . "Whose place is that?" said one of them. "That is the lordly residence of Ma jor Gcorgo A. Reynolds. Cost thirty thousand dollars." "What is his business?" "Indian Agent." "What is his salary, and how long has he held his office?" . "Two years, at fifteen hundred dol lars a yetfr." "Lord, what did the honest fellow do with the rest of his salary ?" "Started his brother and two other honest men in the newspaper buisincts to denounce corruption." Don't "paste this in yottr hat," where you will never see it, and it can't "get through your wool" except by a trepanning opertion, but stick it on the fly-leaf of your prayer book, where it will surely fall under your eye daily, at your morning devotions. It is a scrap of proverbial philosophy from Micawber: "Annual income twenty pounds; annual expenditure uinetecn, eleven and six ; result hap piness. Annual income, twenty pound annual expenditure, twenty pounds, eight and six ; result misery. The blossom is blighted ; the leaf is with ered ; the good of day goes down up on tho dreary scene; and in short, you aro forever floored." Ex. One afternoon lately, a New York policeman observed au individual ap proaching him in a most besotted and miserable condition. His face was full of cuts and bruises, his clothes wcro torn and blood-stained, and his whole appearance indicated the misery of his situation. He wa3 on the point of fall ing through' a cellar of considerable depth, and the consequences would in nil probability have been of a serioua nature. This miserable creature proved to be Daniel McFurlitud, who shot A. D. Ilichardson. . Newspaper subsrlptions aro infal lible tests of men's honesty. If a man is dishonest ha will cheat the printer in some way say the money was lost by mail or will take a paper not pay for it, on the plea that he did not sub scribe for it; or he will move off leav ing the paper to come to tho office he left. Thousands of professing chris tians are dishonest, as tho printer's books will tell fearfully at the judg ment day.' Are there any guilty ones who read this paragraph ? A gentleman was once traveling in .Tennessee, and was obliged to stop in a furm-houso for the night, owing to the ( scarcity of hotels. During the progress of the evening meal, 1-0 ob served an urchin tugging at a leaf of bread. At length the urchin cried out: "Granny, thar's liar ou this broad." The old lady remarked that it was only a piece of corn silk. "Corn silk !" ex claimed ho, "how came corn silk to have a nit ou it? That's what I waut to know." The demoralizing influence of temperance is seen in the following de claration of a Kane City girl who said, iu a maiden speech : "Cider is a necessity of life, and I must have it. If it is decided that we are out to drink cider, I shall cat apples, and get some young man to squeeze me for I uiust have the juico of the apple." Two cent stamps are still required ou bank checks, under tho new reve nue law; but they are not necessary on receipts for money or tho payment of a debt, nor need there be any stamps put upon promissory notes for less thau one hundred dollars, nor on assign ments of mortgages which have becu once duly stamped. A woman is cither worth nothing or a great deal. If good for nothing, sho is not worth getting jealous for; if she be a true woman, she will give no cause for jealousy. A man is a brute to be jealous of such a woman u fool to bo jealous of a worthless one but a double fool to cut his throat for cither of them. "Nominate your family disturb ance," is the Vicksburg styla of asking whut'U you take to drink ? "Solomon, I fear you ate forget ting me," paid a bright-eyed girl to her lowr the other day. "Yes, Sue," said slow Sol, excusing himself, I have tu.u for gettiug you thv two ywrs."