4 low Call.
Once I es:!ed ihese seas, ben: are
.tie cannibals, with a corj'uh-ut csp
taiu. Whenever a chief cauie on lioard
t!ie first tUiuff lie was sure to admire
was the proiKirtions of our paltint tar,
autl the chief would feel fclui and
tiuack his own lips and turn op hi
own (.-tv at the prospect of so much
fataoss gilas to waste, as one may
My. These attentions our skipper very
nn:ch disliked.
Will, one day both boats were ab
. at trading, and It fell suddenly calm.
'The old waa" (the forecastle name for
ekipporl and self were the only
whites osi l2rL The strong- current
caupht the esse! and carried her cn
to the rocks, a ad we could pet no bot
u. :i a hundred yard from the shore.
The underflow from the wares kept
her from striking. The natives fath
ered on the cliffs, as ravens to a car
cass, waitiu? for the catastrophe I
took off an my clothe; and we waited
and waited for some two hours, the
natives recognizing the captain and
tcllir.s Lim plainly they would eat bin)
at last.
The strain on our nerves hit he
Imagined. At last the captaln'i: pave
way. "Goodliy. G . old fellow." he
said. "Those lieasts w'li hive tne ia
the ovens at once. Too mav escape
you are thin. If you see ray old pirl
iafn. tel! her I was tUInkln? of ber
at the hist." This was said with a
pulp and a quiver In the voice. But
Jii8t then the two boats came round
the point, bavin? at last beard our
Ftern puns, and we were saved.
-Anions the Man Eaters," by John
Gargin.
Where It Ralaa Troa-a.
Every once la awhile stories are
trough! out about extraordinary show
ers of Csh, of bloody snow, etc, the
litest thins iK-ins of a ship captain far
tut oa the Atlantic who ran Into a dust
fUowor so heavy be bad to set bis crew
shoveling the dust from the decks
when the weight lie-pan to pet danger
ous. To this le there added a tale:
It rains frops la Arizona. The old
timers bclli-ve there Is no doubt of it.
though they cannot esplaiu whence the
f rogs were orlpi na lly -1 1 f ted." But t h is
much Is straight let there be a sum
mer rain along the line of the southern
raeiGc In southwestern Arizona, and
Vehol-J the next tnornlnp every little
jkjoI has a myriad of little lean preen
frogs with marvelous croaking powers.
They don't wait for nightfall like their
more civilized brothers elsewhere, but
keep up the music by day as by night.
They live where water comes only i
about on-e a year. They can't live
over the interim under the sun baked
black rocks. They assuredly haven't
bopped from the Colorado river, and
they are all of a size to boot. If they
didn't come from the ground or from
tb? river, they must have come from
the skies.
And that's what the Hassayampera
firmly believe. Arizona Graphic.
X (bain Far HI at.
Three negro lads met on a street cor
ner one afternoon, and by some queer
freak of Providence each bad Just 13
cents. This was considerable for them,
and, being no unfortunate as to have
no "craps," it required much serious
deliberation to arrive at just the best
plan for sending It.
Finally one suggested that they
place their little capital la a pool and
then, each In turn, guess what was
pood to eat., the best guesser to take
nil of the money.
This plan met with hearty approval,
as each one bad Ideas on that subject,
and the 45 cents was toon In a pile.
Then the first one guessed.
"Possum, sweet taters an water
melon." be said.
At this the second one reached down
and began picking up bis nickels, but
the third stopped him with: "Hoi on
Iarc! Letdat money 'loner To which
the second roplied:
"You think I'ze poin to guess agains'
that fool nigger when he's done said
all der is good ter eat?" Types.
Ha Had Two Maujr Xaaaea.
- Alxiut two years before Mr. Sawyer
retired from the senate bis mail one
morning contained a touching letter
from a man in Maryland whose borne
bad just been brightened by the ar
rival of a bouncing boy. The fond
parent went on to tell thtt the boy
would be named Philetus Sawyer
Jones and expressed the hope that the
child would prow up an honor to the
name and the possessor of the fine
traits of character that distinguished
l-ie generous hearted man whose name
Would 1-e lorne by himself.
Senator Sawyer went to the senate
chauilKT with a warm glow In bis
heart and the determination to send
that fond parent a nice b'g check. He
felt so pood that be showed the letter
to Senator Allison. The Iowa man
chuckled as be read It and produced a
letter almost Identical, except that the
young iodigy was to be named Wil
liam Alusou Jones.
It was too pood to keep, and they
told the story to Senator Edmunds of
Vermont. That stately old gentleman
melted sufficiently to smilingly produce
a b'tter of similar purport. Thei there
ensued a comparison of secitorial
eotes. showing Lhat the youthful Mary-L-indcr
had been fairly loaded with dis
tinguished name from Justin Morrill
Jones to Don Cameron Jones. That
Maryland Infant received no- birthday
present. Milwaukee Wisconsin.
roafaalaa;.
When the ma'ron called upon the
bride of tbree months, she discovered
ber ia tears.
"Why. my dear, what la the mat
ter?" she cried.
"I want to die! I want to dier sob-tw-d
the bride.
"There, dear, there! What la the
matter.?"
"It's it's Harry!" wbbed the girl
wildly.
"Has he been abusing yon?"
"No--, but oh, dear, what shall 1
dor
"What on earth Is the matter, dear?"
"lie be ob, I can't tell you!"
"Ton must lias be been staying
out late nights?"
"Nokm!"
"Has be been drinking?"
-Xo-o-!"
"Then what Is the matter?"
"He he doesn't love me any more"
The matron drew the gobbing girl to
ber side.
"Now tell me all, dear." she whis
pered. "When when he c-came home Lift
night, be didn't k-k-kisa tae!" she sob
bed. "My dear." said the matron, "you'll
yet over that. When my husband came
borne last night, be did kiss me, and I
have been wondering ever since what
be faas been tip to." Detroit Free
Press.
Haw Tarr Eat.
The editor of Life and Bcanty, a
British organ on hygiene and diet, suc
ceeded In eliciting from a tVw popular
writers replies on the subject of diet
which they find most conducive to
good work.
Hail Caice wrote: "1 am afraid I
bave no theories oa the subject of diet.
If I knew anything that would be
worth telling. I would avail myself f
lt advantages, being a constant mar
tyr to all the trouble that attend d'et."
Mr. Zangwill's answer was brief and
epigrammatic. "Unfortunately I bave
never eaten to work, but always work
ed to eat"
"John Oliver Hobbes" confessed that
ehe "tr'ed vegetarHjism for two years,
but now finds that on the whole, the
ordinary diet cf the country U the
best"
Mme. Sarah Grand said she never
drank milk. "I never forget the hor
rible cow," she added In explanation.
Marie Corelli answered characteris
tically with a quotation from "Ham
let." "I eat the air. promise crammed.
Yob cannot feed capons so."
Bow Teary Welrleve. KiU Dacka.
Lieutenant It E- Peary, the arctic
explorer, wss bom In Maine. He pre-
pared himself for entering Bowdoia
. . - i a. - j v-
CtHie? ai riiruing m..wjrui.f iu ' J
burg, in the western part of the state.
The fallowing story of Peary's early
days -hows bis method of overcoming
obst?les:
One of b!s fellow townsmen wh.'le
ntit hmitir.- n!u 1ht in Jkovemoe" Qis-
..i
covered a Cock of ducks In a pond
about two miles from the village. The
taen wanted the birds, but knew no
way of getting them, even If bis Bitot
were effective, for be bad do dg, and
there was no boat In the pond. On bis
way home he met Peary and told b-n
ubout the ducks and why be bad not
fired at them.
"Now." said Peary, "let's go back to
the pond, and if the ducks are still
there I promise to retrieve all yon
kiU."
They returned to the pond; tie ducka
were undisturbed. The weather had
been cold for several days, ice had
formed around, the shore of the pond.
and the ducks were bunched out in
pen water, but within ran ere. Merrill
fired and killed two. Withoit- more
ado than if he were about to take a
dip In the old swimming hole on a hot
July day Teary removed hH clothing.
broke the Ice wiU a heavy sMck and
swam out picked up the aeia Dirus
and brought tbem to land. Saturday
Evening Post
The Sla-a Palatera.
The question has been asked of sign
painters hundreds of times, "Which
letter of the alphabet do yon consider
the hardest or most difficult to make?"
It Is but natural to make the in
quiry, for to the novice some particu
lar letters are more perplexing than
others. It Is most generally conceded
by some experts that the Boman capi
tal letter "It" Is the roost difficult
Others will cay tha.. an "S" Is very
bard to make, anI many strongly con
tend that the character "Si" Is the
hardest and most difficult of any In
the entire alphabet Practically speak
ing, all of these letters are somewhat
difficult, and to the young beginner
they are not easily mastered.
It has frequently been supposed that
an artist of ability on account of his
great talent In drawing would of
course naturally make a pood sign
painter, but the experiment has been
tried and given up with unsatisfactory
results.
An artist may draw and pplat a
mobt beautiful picture, but when It
conies to forming a perfect letter be Is
entirely out of the race. About 4
years ago there were five well known
artists of this city, who were also ex
ports at lettering, they having learned
and worked at this branch" previously,
New York Times.
Vealee Wltfaoat Water.
Venice without water would hardly
be Venice at all, but we are assured
there Is a possibility that the pictur
esque Venice of today may become a
city of the past and eventually Venice
may be water'ess.
According to Professor Marine!!!, the
regular Increase In the delta of the
river Po Is such that In process of
time the northern Adriatic will be dry.
and Venice will no more be upon t'ue
sea. The annual surreys show that
the mean annual Increase of the delta
during 70 years has been three-tenths
of a square mile.
An encroachment upon the sea of
three-tenths of a mile in a year means
a large increase li a century. It ap-
piir8 that the total Increase in six
centuries has been about IDS square
miles. The increase is continuing, aud
the gulf of Venice Is doomed to dls
appear.
No immediate alarm need be felt, and
It will not be necessary to hurry
to enioe to take a farewell look at
the city In its present pieturesqneness.
Professor Marinelli calculates that be
tween 100 and 120 centuries will elapse
before the entire northern Adriatic will
bave become dry land. Youth's Com
panion.
DIa Toast
Brown was very much in love with
pretty Miss Simpson aud bad told ber
so repeatedly, but In vain. She did
not reciprocate. Brown's friends knew
of the affair, and whenever Brown
pave a toast Miss Simpson was made
the subje-ct of It One night when
Brown and his companions were en
joying a little supper among them'
selves, one of the men said:
"Come. Brown, your usual toast"
"No." came the reply. "Since I can't
make ber Brown I'll toast ber no lon
ger." London Answers.
I-adr Betty.
In prerevolutionary days there was
a woman public executioner In Vir
ginia. At that time death sentences
were respited on condition that a criui
Inal should perform this office.
"Lady Betty." as she was afterward
called, was sentenced to death for mur
der. She offered Instead to become
public executioner and held this office
for many years.
It is said that on tbe scaffold she
officiated without a mask. Chicago
Tinies-Herald.
Uardrard.
"Flow came a nan of your ability
and position in society ever to engage
In counterfeiting?" the Judge asked
him.
"I wanted a light easy way to make
raoaey at my own home, your honor,"
answered the prisoner.
Tbe judge looked at him sharply and
gave bim the full limit of the law.
Cbicrgo Tribune. -
Fishermen In Holland kill all fish
as soon as they are landed, while
French fishermen, on the contrary, al
low them to die of asphyxiation.
There are no gutte-s In the streets
of Ca'.ro. A heavy rain consequently
gives the city the aspect of Tcnlee.
Tae stapl Talaar.
"Do you think tLe shortest route to a
man's heart is through bia stomach?"
asked Miss Gabby as she prepared to
exhibit her still with tbe chaliLg dish
to young Dr. Power.
"Oh, Uar. nor exclaimed the yuaug
physician, swelling up with the cn
eciousne8 of his superior knowledge.
"The shortest way to the heart Is by
way of an Incision through the left
subclavial section of the thc--.cic psrie
ties." Tbua la cold science wresting Cupid's
weapons on by one from the bands
of tbe fair sex. Baltimore American.
A PrUe Thaasht.
A teacher of music In one of the pub
lic schools of the south desired to im
press the pupils with the meining of
the 6lgns "f" and "ff" In a mg they
were about to sing. After explaining
tLri f ' meant Torte be said, "Now,
children. If T means forte, what does
"fT mean?"
Silence relgneJ for a moment and
then be was ast -nlsbed to bear a bright
little fellow about:
"Eighty." New LIppIncott
The Day Artr.
Mrs. Mixer Tell me the worst, floe
tor. Is my husband's condition seri
ous? Doctor There Is no cause for alarm,
madam. He is now out of danger, al
though Buffering acutely from enlarge
ment of tbe cerebral glands.
Mrs. Mixer But doctor, bow do yon
suppose It was brought on?
Doctor On a tray probably. Chica
go News.
The Irlee f Tea Ceata' Wart.
Customer Give me 10 cents' worth
f paregoric, please.
Druggist Yes. sir.
Customer (abscntailndedly) How
much is it?
Druggist A quarter. Boston Chrff
Han Register.
1 !" L.urU Vp t - xtu?.
; Uncola Led to t.e grtut ue
Ife" In telling how he gained a knife
j 1T W Tbct bafi bot,n Pub"
' liihed. bi;t I bave not seen another in
I ' . , .
print telling bow Le gained bis wile.
Mrs. Lincoln was a beautiful lady, at
tractive, sharp, witty and relished a
Juke even at her own expense. She
was staving with her sister. Mrs. Ed-
She bad not been there long
uu.
i
before everybody new MUa Mary
! Todd. She often said: "When a girl I
thoucht I would not marry until I
rould get ore of the tandsomet men
In the country, but since I became a
woman I learned I can't get such a
man, which has cause 1 me to change
my mind. I bave concluded now to
marry the ugliest looking ma"n I can
find."
Later on Lincoln came to town. She
Led never seen biin-hefore she met
him on the street Ste was told who
he was and went home and told ber
Bb-ter she had seen her man, "the ugli
est man I ever saw., Abraham Lin
coln, and I am going to set my cap for
him."
'ih&t lecame a common srylng In
street gossip. Whn they wort mar
ried, instead of taking a bridal trip,
they went to the Globe hotrl, owned by
the writer and occupied by a tenant
They took board at $1 a week. When
be got able, he bought a lot fo. $200
and built a four room housa costing
less than $1,000. When be received
$5,000 from his great railroad case, be
spent $1,500 of It in putting a second
story on his bouse, and there be lived
until be went to Washington. Thomas
Lewis In Leslie's Weekly.
Be Telesrrapaed Vp Oae rilskt.
That New York Is a big city which
the stranger seldom learns very well
was quite forcibly Impressed upon a
certain well known Califomlan a few
days ago. He visits New York twice a
year and has long Elnce learned to find
bia way about"
He was charg'ng about In the busi
ness district and suddenly remembered
that he wanted to telegraph to a friend
whose offices are at 105 Broadway.
The Californian dashed Into the near
est telegraph office, wrote out bis dis
patch and. covering It with tbe coin,
passed It through the wicket -to the
receiver. Tbe receiver amiled.
"What Is the matter?" demanded tbe
Californian.
"Why, this Is 133 Broadway." said
the receiver, "and your man Is up Just
one flight of stairs."
There was a confused period that
lasted about a seconj. and when the
Californian got his nerve back h calm
ly said: "I know that Let It go any
way. I guess I can telegraph across
tbe rooaj or this counter If I want to
and bave the money. We do that thing
out In California every day for a Joke."
Tbe receiver mry bave been bluffed,
bnt as receivers fo they are hard to
Impress.- San Francisco Chronicle.
Easily- Maaaaed.
House Hunter But are you tura that
the cellar Is perfectly dry ?
Ileal Estate Dealer Oh. yon may be
snre of that! Never was a drop of wa
ter ever seen In It even In the wettest
kind of weather.
Hotife Hunter Sorry about that. Do
you know I have a theory that a da nip
cellar Is the healthiest thing In the
world. In my oniniou the water In a
cellar absorbs noxious gases, and, be
sides, it so moistens the whole atmos
phere of the bouse as to make It more
grateful to the lungs.
Real Estate Dealer Come to think
of it It was that other house on the
other side of the street that has the
dry cellar. The cellar in this house Is
never free from water. Really, sir, I
think it will suit you immensely. Bos
ton Transcript
Cot Over tbe Limit.
The late Senator Sawyer of Wiscon
sin was a very generous giver of char
ity and of presents, which neither be
nor the beneficiary would bave cared
to denominate as charity, though the
rifts amounted to inueh the same. He
told a friend one day that he was
going to turn over a new leaf and try
to keep his donations down to a limit
that would nut exceed $1,000 a month
Three months after be bad, announced
this resolution bis friend asked bow
he bad made out
"I started out pretty well, be re
plied, "and ii I hadn't given an old
friend of mine In Wisconsin who had
struck hard luck $10,000 last month I
think I shot 'd have kept -within the
limit" Philadelphia iiulU-tin.
Trr a Chaise, .
You have probably tried the plan cf
making others miserable and found
Vttle comfort in It. Try making oth
is happier. Possibly It will suit yon
better. Too many people bave the hab
it f saying disagreeable things to and
about others. There is no pleasure In
it but there Is so much uuhappiness
in the world that you can pain genuine
satisfaction by saying kind things of
people, by doing kind things. Don't
cut and slash. It otily makes niisera
ble people more miserable. The fact
that others cut and slash you Is no ex
ense for adopting their mistaken poli
oy. With a little modesty and a little
kindness you can do missionary work
every rtay and accomplish a great deal
of good. Atchison Globe.
The K-nly Elected AMermaa.
When a politician has Just been elect
ed a meml-cr of the council and the di
rectory man comes around next day
and asks bim what his occupation Is,
be has to struggle with himself some
times net to answer, "Statesman."
Somerville Journal.
Wraaallntc la the Choir.
"Why can't yon be obliging?" cried
tbe facetious music rack. "The bells
play when they're tolled Come, give
us a tuner
"No." grumbled the organ In deep
diapason: "I'll 1 Mowed If I dor
Philadelphia Press.
Kut Pty Tax t Hold 0oe.
Judge Johnson, ef Dataware county.
ha decided aeainst the cliiin of a man to
hold public office when he has not paid
tax. At tbe last election in I).rby town
ship LeRoy Haller, just ast 21 yoars of
aga, was elected Supervisor. lu town
ship auditors refused to accept his bond
wbeo it wa presented, and the matter
was brought into court The question
waa then raised that be had not paid his
tax, and for this reason it w ait argued
that he was not eligible for the office. The
office was declared vacant
Haller then became an applicant for
appointment to the vacancy by the court.
and was opposed by David E. Lewis
Judge Johnson Thursday handed down
ao opinion refusing to appoint Haller
aud appointing Lewis. The Constitu
tion says that a man must pay a tax one
month before election to become a quali
fied elnctor. The Court eaid : "The fact
that Mr. Haller at the date of bia applica
tion for appointment had never paid a
cent of sc&jol, road. State or county tax
w uot calculated to favorably Iiuprens the
Court with the propriety of his appoint
ment" A Smooth Citizen.
"What kind cf man is he?"
"O'a, he's tbe kind that arouse9 your
sympathy."
"Sympathy?"
"Yes; you have to feel sorry f.r oilier
men who go into business with him."
Indianapolis Journal.
CASTOR I A
For Iafaat and Children.
Tba Kind Yea Kan Always Bough
Bignatnx. of Cut&ffi&g
t;-.fi J.i.1 to llrJp Ee-Ua.
Flie uv.-ivie.i t.,i" Wiiy to
run a house economically wa to keep
a set f books, so she trade ril neces
sary purchases. iDeludinz a bottle of
red ink, end started in.
It was a month late'r when her bus
band asked ber bow she was getting
along.
"Splendidly," she replied.
"The system is a success, then?"
"Yes, indeed- Why. I'm $00 ahead
already V
"Sixty dollars'" he exrlalmed. "neat
ens! You'll be rich before long. Have
you started a bank account?
"XiHr, not yet"
"What bave you done with the moa
eyr
"Oil. I haveu t got the money, you
know! That's only what the books
stow. But jest think of Lclr.g $00
ahead !
"Fin, yes! But I don't exactly aee"
"And all In one month to."
"Of conrse. But the money? What
has become of that?"
"I don't exactly know," she said
doubtfully. "I've been thinking f that,
and I think we must have been lobbea.
What do yon think we had better do
about Itr
He puffed his pipe In solemn silence
for a moment and then suggested:
"We might stop keeping books.
That's easier than complaining to the
police." Atlanta Constitution.
Tbe Leetarera Blaader.
One of the Institutions of New Yjrk
that are praised by all the public with
out reserve Is the course of free lec
tures In the public schools. These lec
tures are given before splendid audi
ences and, as a rule, by persons of
veracity and intelligence. Occasion
ally, however. In order to get a lecture
n a rare 6ubject great risks are run.
Recently a lecture was given by a
person who had been n an excursion
to the North cape. Among other won
derful things te saw there waa the
eclipse of the sun. ne gasped for
breath as be told of the weirdly grand
sight He told of tbe streamers of fire
that blazed from the obscured orb to
all quarters f tbe heavens. But bis
frenry carried him too far for a public
pebool audience, for he declared that
among the stars made visible In tha
midst oi oay he saw the planets cir
cling In their courses. He even called
the planets that he saw by name, but
be made a fatal mistake. He said be
saw Neptune.
This statement called for a round of
sarcastic applause that he mistook for
commendation, for he smiled In a hap
py way as it echoed through the halls.
Evidently he did not know that Nep
tune Is Invisible except with the most
powerful telescope. New York Mail
and Express.
Saved nta Honor.
"Vat ees eet Jean?"
"Monsieur. e doctaire cornea today
to vaccinate monsieur."
"Nevaire! I vill die first ! Eet ees
degrading! Eet ees an Insult!"
"But, monsieur, eet ees also xe law."
"Shameful! How can I suffalre a
beast ot a doctaire wl bees brutal
weapoue to stab me me, xe Count de
Mooscalonge? Nevaire!"
"But eet ees no law. monsieur."
"Perfidious law! Ah, I have eet! I
have eet now! Beautiful! Listen! Yoa
will prepaire se swords!"
"Ze swords, tnousieur?"
"Prepaire zo swords. On tp point
of ne sword, monsieur, re doctaire
will rub bis vaccinate niattaire. See?
Zen be will diffaire from me on a ques
tione. I will feel insulted. I will chal
lenge ze doctaire. He will aevept nam
ing swords as se weapons. We will
fight at once, and here ze doctaire take's
ze prepaired swords. See? One. two.
three! Ze eltctnire pricks me slightly
In se arm. Ha. ha! Honor is satisfied!
I am vaccinate!" Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
Took It Away Front th Jury.
There are any number of s.'ories to
be prlnte-d about Judge Caldwell, but
here hi one that Is said to be typical:
He was hearing an argument whereby
an attorney for an insurance company
was attempting to evade payment of
Insurance on a purely technical ground
Judge Caldwell Interrupted him. "Let
me understand you. Brother Todd," he
said to the attorney. "The policy was
issued r
"Y'es." was the reply.
"And the premiums were paid?"
"Ye;"
"And It was not set en fire?"
"No."
"Si-other Todd," said Judge Cald
well, "yon can sit elown. The Jury
will tc'nrn a verdict for the plaintiff."
Indianapolis Sun.
Diplomacy la the Palplt.
"Jes one word," said Uncle Renin
from the pulpit as the collection wag
.bout to be taken: "dar's been a mighty
sight oh chicken stealin "bout here late
ly. Now, don' any yon niggars dat
help steal dem chickens put nuUin In de
'lection Itox. I'ze not poin tab any you
'sgracin de good Lawd dat way, no
how.'" Harper's Bazar.
A Father ta Re Appreciated.
Teacher I called to see you, sir.
about your son's schooling and ain-sor-
ry to say that he Is behind In his
studies.
rarcnt That's all right If he wasn't
be'hind. how could he pursue them?
Boston Courier.
Hot, It started.
A restaurant keeier In Galena bun?
ont the sl.in. "Our meals are hard to
beat A rival rubbed ont the "b In
"beat." And then the" fight commenc
ed. Kansas City Journal.
A German physician explains why
red raired persons seldom seem to get
so ii2M ns others, lied Lairs are so
thick that 20.000 cover a head as well
as 1G0.0O0 M9nd or TOS.OOO black hairs.
The Boy FrIead."
A boy Laving been taken to task for
rlol.it len of school rules, the principal.
a woman, told him to ask his father t
vail at the school. Xxt day the bo
appeared with a rather seedy loukin
man whom he iutreduerd as bis f-
thtr. The he-ad of the school and vlf
Itor had a talk, anJ the latter prom
Ised to do all in bis power to make
the boy 6ee the error of bis ways.
Some days biter the boy waa over
heard saying to some of his compan
ions: "I played a good joke on Miss
Black. I introduced a bum as me fa-
tbe-, and she never caught on."
"VTasn't that man yonr father?" ask
ed one of the listeners.
Nope." was the answer. "lie was
me friend." Brooklyn Eagle.
Famllr Reaemblane.
A young gentleman took bis little
sister witb bim while calling tbe other
evening at a bouse where he Is a regu
lar visitor. Tbe little girl made her
self eiuite at home and showed great
fondness for one of the young ladles,
bugging ber heartily.
'How very affectionate she Is." said
the lady of tbe bouse.
'Yes: so like her brother." responded
tte young ladr unthinkingly. Buffalo
Courier.
Welcome Chaage.
'My dear." began the extravagant
young wife. "I've got several things I
want to talk to yon about"
Ah. that's a relief." exclalmad the
Lusband.
-What lsT
To le assured that you're got the
things you want to talk about Yon
generally discourse npon- things yon
need." I'hlladelpbla Press.
A yocng man seems to be willing to
make almost any sacrifice for the girl
he loves except to go bome early and
tave her f.-cin a scolding next morn
Ini?. Atchison Clot.
r:?;pt!aa f hlrtca Taetorlea,
In hi voiutnc on "Present Da)
Egypt" Frederick PenBeid thus de
sciiles one of the laterettlug sighta
in the EeUhlrhood cf the pyramids,
the lucubatorj in the native vlllnges.
"It will be found." be says, "that the
ncvlsitor Is constructed e.f sun dried
briekn aud so arranged Internally that
the ej'gs, placed In mud constructed
ovens on tisys cushioned with cut
straw, are couFtantly under the at
tendant's view. No scientific rpparatus
Is employed by this man. not even a
thermometer. He knows from experl-eni-e
and bis iv,n feeling bow much
btat Is nee-ded. aud be systeiflaticully
turns the egjrs several times each d:iy
until they are developed Into peepin;
chicks.
"These batching establishments exist
throughout middle and upper Egypt
and In a season bring fully 2(,000.uMJ
chickens Into the world that grow up
to be scrawny, unattractive fowls. The
Industry is thousauds of years old and
seems conclusively to settle the ques
tion of a c'jicUen's maternity by allo
cating that parentage to the hen laying
the egg.
. "The incubator la a foster -nothcr
only and is responsible for stifling the
'seitiug' Instiuct with Egyptian bens.
The keepers of the incubators bave a
system of trafiic with peasant farmers
by which erg? are purchased outright
or six live chicKs given in exchange for
a dozen fresh eggs."
Death te tha Workaaea.
It wes la an art store in Fifth ave
nue, and the dealer was showing gild
ed clocks and candelabra to a cus
tomer. Pointing to one particularly
handsome set, he said. "That Is worth
$3."0." Pointing to another cf similar
pattern, but not so hsmUouie, be said.
"That is worth $fi00."
"But the ether one Is lK'tter," 6aid
the customer.
"Well." said the dealer, the chief
vr.lue of this one (pointing to the $4)0
affair! Is in the gilding. It was gildcil
by the mercury process which Is uow
forbidden by law almost everywhere.
The other one was treated with the
electroplating process."
"Well, It's handsomer," said the cus
tomer. "Is It as durable? If It Is, why
should I pay $2o0 more?"
"It is practically as durable, end It la
handsomer," said the dealer. "But you
can duplicate it end you can't dupli
cate the other. The mercury process
of gilding waa death to the workmen
who engaged In it The-y inhaled the
fumes of the mercury, and in the end
It killed them, and it wasn't long do
ing It. either."
"I'll tike the mercury one," said the
customer, "but the other Is handsom
er." New Y'ork Sun.
Tie Couacka of tbr Dob.
The Don Ccssaeks are the finest look
ing race of men ever seen. Kingly la
tboir carriage, tall and slender, lithe
and graceful, thrir untamed spirit visi
ble In every motion, their liearlnjr Is
that of an unconqnered people. Used
as a livinj: harrier against the Tartar
Invasions of lliissia, they were never
conquered. Livlnp In what they call
camps, each with his horse and gun.
they are always ready to move In re
sponse to the emperor's calL
Their costume Is a long, tight fitting
cor.t reaching to the knee, having loose
sle'pvcs aud a small, standing collar
and with a row of ammunition poekots
across the breast. The colored be-lt
which encircles the Cossack's slender
waist bristles vith ornamented knives.
elajrjcrs and pistols. Soft, high boots
without hce-ls and a great lamb's wool
cap, with a I'ttie touch of color for
the soft crown, and then the burka or
long cape of hairy felt which they seem
to we-ar In all sorts of weather com
plete the costume. These burkas ap
pear to be worn on the theory that
what keeps out the cold keeps out the
heat Anyway, these long black or
white garments protect horse and rider
equally ironi the rain and cold. Self
Culture.
Ilia Oae SnRgrettlon.
"Furthermore. John Henry Meeker,
said Mrs. Meeker, who was standing In
front of the mirror and putting the
finishing touches to her toilet "I want
you to take notice that I am perfee-tly
capable of getting ready for church
without any prompting from you. and
you can cough and look at your watch
as much a3 you please It won't hurry
me a single second. Do you clearly un
derstand that?"
"Yes. my dear." mildly replied Mr.
Meeker, "though I think 1 crmM un
derstand It a little better if you didn't
bave your mouth quite so full of hair
pins." Chicago Tribune.
A FrobaMe IteiBlt.
"If people were only compelled to
practice what they preach!" sighed the
theorist
"What pood would that do?" de
manded the practical man.
"It wor.Id make the world better.
wouldn't It?"
"Oh. I don't know. I'm Inclined to
think that whatever changes we no
ticed would le In the preaching rather
than In the practice." Chicago Post
Hl Sbota.
"Charley, dear." said young Mrs. Tor-
kins. "I want yon to le more careful
about the use of firearms."
"Why. I harcn't"-
"Charley, dear." she proceed;!, with
sweet severity, "you mnstu t try to
deceive me. I lnard you telling yes
terday alK.ct how yon fell down on a
long shot If you must go In for such
things, please get a gun that won't
kIck."-Washington Star.
Doe to Ixraoranrc.
"lie thinks lie's famous."
"AVcll. lie never was much of a mnn
for acuirin; tnowK-dire."
"What has that to do with iV
"Why. he prt!iably never has con
sulted the dictionary and learned the
difference between fame a:id n'otorl-
ty." Chief go Tost.
eft- aaaaaaaaiaaaaBa.
It(aSwjs mnkea a man mad to fcrLf
oia name misspelled in a BewtDarMr.
because he believes everybody ought to
Enow bis name. Atchison Globe.
Xo man Is absolutely perfect, but one
who n-knowIiil;vs his faulis in more
il.ati h:ilf way up the ladder. Chft-ago
Oid You Tsko
Scott's
mulsioii
ihrough the inter? If so, we
are sure it quieted your cough,
healed the rawness in your
throat, increased your weight,
gave you more color, and made
you feci better in every way.
But perhaps your cough has
come back acain, or you are cut
ting a little thin and pale.
Then, why not continue the
same helpful remedy right
through the summer? It will do
you as much good as when the
westheris cold.
Irs persistent use will certainly
give you a better appetite and a
stronger digestion.
It will cure your
weak throat and heal
your inflamed lungs.
It will cujecvery case
cf consumption, when
8 cure is possible.
Don't be persuaded
1
to take something they say is just
cs good.
All rrnj;irT. J . and $1.
6COTT a lvWSE,Cbi;iB.l, N.r.
.ANcfctahle PreDaralionforAs-
I! similalingtticFooJandScula-
tir.2 flic 5 toinaclis anuliowt is a
Tromolcs DigeslioivChccrfur
ness and nesl.Contains neithcr
OpiumJIorpIune norJIiiicraL
'OT?iAHCOTIC.
tit CtMtLMJtJa
C lotted .-40T
Apcrfecl Remedy for ConsLpa
Tion . Sour Stomach. Dianuca
Worms,ConYulswris.Fevrrish-
ness mid Loss OF Sleep.
Facsimile SiCnalure of
NEW "YORK.
? 1
F WRAPPER. I J
JJ
EXACT COPY o
Tfiirisrifirii.ii.iiiuriiiiiifiifiucjii.iisr.
The Smith Premier Typewriter
BEST VALUE
Easv Touch. .
Durability. vAWgq!
Perfect
Type
Cleaner.
Simplicity.
Double
Cue
Keyboard.
,V fc .
Leaier in
i
Improvements.
Ot Descriptive
The Smith Premier Typewriter Company,
EOBEET S. SCULL, AGENT, SOMESSET. PA.
THE
CLEANMXG
AND HEAUXei
CLUE FOIt
CATARRH
it
EIv'sCreaiiiRaltn
E-y and pleasant
to (imp. Contains no
injiirimis druc.
It is qnn-klT ab
orb!. Gives relief
st once.
It open sand
Cleanses the Nasal Kntim. Allay In
nam mntion. Heals and I'r. lects Ihet mem
brane. ICtcttorea ttip Senses ot Taut and
Smell. I.srjre Sie, .Vj ceni at Drugiri st
or by mail; 'I rial sizn, lo-r,ts bv ii.mi1.
KLY BROTH KKS. 5i arrenSireet,
New Yo'-k.
- Jacob D Swank,
Watchmaker and Jeweler,
Next Door West of Lutheran Church
Somerset, - Pa.
I Am Now
prepared to supply the pub!i
with Clocks, Walchf and Jew
elry of all ele-scriptlons, a Ch-.i;
as the CLeaport.
UEPAIUIXG A
SPECIALTY.
All work guaranteed. Look at my
stock before making your
purchases.
J. D. SWANK.
lEFFEH'S KEW SHOE STORE!
EN'S BOYS . WGKEVS. GIRLS' and CHILDREN'S
SHOES. OXFORCS and SLIPPERS.
Black and Tan. Latent Styles an J Shapes
at lowot
.....CASH FCICES.....
Adjoining Mrs. A. E. I' hi, South-e.wt
comer of square.
SOMERSET, PA. i
H. HUSTON,
a
Undertaker and Embalmer.
A GOOD HEARSE,
ind everything pertaining; to fQDr.itU furn
ished.
SOMERSET
- Ps.
V
Blend most softly and
jk play most effectively ever
cr ii
A icsuvc scene vucuitin
by waxea candles.
ine ngat mux iitiWci-s 5
beauty's charm, that pic. tlie B
fioiihed touch to tie draw ii .g J
room or dining rocu;, is tLe ?
mcllo glow ot J,
1 n
Sold in all relets auiT" il-n-. !
to harmonic wilh cry in:cr:i.r '
hangings or decoritiot..
Slanufartured hr '
STANDARD CIV CO.
I'or rtrr-1: ic.
818
COLD 'N HEAD
MM
im i HII
Tor Infants and Children.
Tha Kind You Hsvs
Always Bough!
Bears the
Signature
In
Use
For Over
Thirtv Years
WRITING MACHINE,
. . . . Uniform Work.
!
Scientific
Construction.
Rapidity.
vjf-VX if
Beauty
Mechanically Superior.
Art Catalogue Free.
COMERSET MARKET REPORT
k7 (UDl'ill I)!T LI
Cook & Beerits,
We lnemloy ft ft. th.
fppi tq.
Appl liriiM. Ir;
( vaMr.!!'il ft..
Apple ! r, pt-r ga'
roll vr tt
ButU-T. frv.h r r
(crt-:i u. . . r E...
..kV3ft
to Oil
a--
...
Beeawaz per fc
2.
oountrv hn., p-r r 10 to lJi
Bacoo.
miriri'uivo uaui, por lb l-j-l-t
.full-, p-r a. H,-
vi4hon
nUlrrf per ft .
..In u-t
Bean.
Coffee.
t white Davy, per ban . FJ.H) to 5-' 2
1 I.Iihm, per !fc . ii .
jsrw ri, per fft l.v-
1 nu.tea. per 9. o to 1-V
I I'll in lerin iid, per bbl II.Kt U) l.a-
1 Hertland, perbol $2.50 to 4.iV
e ommoHi, per iD , IK
e-fK. pei lox i,
fish, ke herring. Pr
Honey, wii'K elover.pef JV-
LAnl, per . 7tliV
1 inr. pr htl
enln, pej 'm u U) 7V
I'otaUM. per bu.. itn."nn
lfe.r.es,evHporatet, per S) . t to Mr
Fruue. p. r t k u liy
. 1 ., per uti.
riiwi'Ur. per tjbi . 1 f
Salt,
iii.iry, w dim ftrk..
4 but n-irk
it
irronna Alain. IK) BMkcks
maple, per m ;un;e
inixriea ye ilnw, per F6... ftc
Sugar.
wi.irp. a. p r P ...V'4-Ki4(
(raiiuiHW., per R ;-4 -O
'ub.. or oulveriied, per IS ,
Pyrup.
p r nl
IllHple. per el 40 to h
wonewsn", vauou s
lhiiovr, per E t
vincw. rverin.1 to:ir
urmrtriy.per bu. .
c.over. p-r out ;.,..) .ou
Seed ii.
rriniHon, pT bus...
alfnlfn, per bun
" alsvkft. rr hna
jiiuei, etermn. ier bu
I barley, white o.-arrllesii, per baa. l.TV
I buekwheat. per bus . 4
Urain i corn eheilert, per bu. tnta 4-r
otii, per bu,'j to
I rve, per bn.
4 Feod I wbeMt, per hu Kv-
bnn, per 1) t't .S.tc
eorn and oata chop, prr i'O i g.v
flonr, roller prooes.per bbl .3.)
Floor.
. apnng pate ill and fitDcr
( Boar, lower arrad Mr laO'ba 'tl Aural
Mlddlinet i wn.,u!- Vtiw M
I rea, ier IU0
.per 100
-5c
CONDENSED TIME TABLES.
Baltimore and Ohio Haxlroad.
Somerset and Cambria Branch.
KOKTRarmn
Johnstown Mail Exprwa. Rorkvond Hr45 a.
ertvlile 14:l Jobnitnwn l tl m
Johnstown Aeoommodailon. Kockwrvd 4 40
p. m.. sm-rit' h:ir stoypotown 5:31, Uoov-
' . , " w. tt.
Mall. Johntown a.ni..Hfovf rTti!p 9 (
lu-l V oomt rei v. Hoc i wood
Elr,T",- Johnstown VSO p. HxwerTlll
,. . ..l..il,l0ullrenitl Mock-
Btf J -ail
Daiiy.
F. D. CTiTiFRWoori
D. r . M A RT1 V. tim ,. i Ma
- FUKPnir 'TroW. .......
pENNSYLVANLV RAILROAD.
raTini stahcamo timc
IN EFFECT NCV. f9, I8S9.
OOWPCXhKD SCKkntrr a
j.Th?I?-rlrfcn JLe.prt from JesUUon at
WCJiTWAKD.
Wpofom ETprs
Hou'hw lrrn Kxnmu,
lohnv ,wn ArcommndaliooT
Jobnstovn ArninimodaUonl
mi-inr txprrsa..
Pttisburi Expnjsa...
nil.... ......
Kim l ine
-V.?1 ""I and OnKrlpttmi ar
W . wtthoai cnr, la tba
Scientific Jltsjrican.
U.ufn ,r any rh,miao , r?TZ
litaaca oa C T gt, WaAlilro" lit
Wanted An Idea
M
i - h A ! ap' fi En
4:51 a. m
ft-lrt M
r. 20 "
. . t p m
. , 4 :tt .
Johnatown Accommodation 9 a
CD YEARS
X,, "V EXPERIENCE
pMiyder s rharmacy,
inf
m
irvr
liXiu anu giuu tuiiu.uua. ia uic war oi
IR Optical Goods 1,1
m i rushes b uted. &u oi me vesi ana mosi approved TW
JJ Kepi in ST.OCK. caUMttClluu guinaiiiccu.
m
m
Dr-narsist,
PEEEEEEEEEEccEEcEEE
Tliis Model Drur Store is rapidly lecomicg a gt.-at !lu.-;;e
X XXJ-Z'W X JL X". J. w iaj-i WHIJlj
MEDICINES. DYE STUFFS, SUPPORTER
liUUUIQlD 1 1 G D bl ip UU11D 3 r Q1UU j ncbcJ
And a Full Line of Optical Gooda alwajg on Land. Frca
A Iwajs on Land. It id always a pleasure to di.play ti;rgofi!;
MAIN STREET .... SOMERSET.,
LUMBER ITJEi
HARD AND. SOFT WOOD
Oak, Poplar, Bid Ins.
Walnnt, Yellow Pine. Flooring.
Cherry, Kbinglem Doora,
Lath. M hite Plae Blind,
genera! llnof all trades of Lumber and Buildinc aterlal at I K :".:; 8 ' W
aiork. Also, can furntmh anything lu tbe line of oar busiinens uiorirr withreW
ble promptma, aneh.aa Braeiieta, odd-lied,srorl!i tf.
Office and Tri yppositft S.RR. B. Station,
Fiftv-eiolit Years Old!
j o
MONDAY.
WEDNESDAY,
new
York
FRIDAY
K PRACT.rMLY , . Korovrrtfty-W"'
Tri-wcckly A DAILY Weekly. jr.j
Triiin axothe Tribune ;ri' tTtliv'
A rie-a-rrrt M.n'-irWKMT sttictiva pub. , .ff ffi
in "uvii, j-r.-ii.-.t-i v iiiuNirmi-fi u ii n nnr- t: 1, m-.-. -
riits and I.hIi-i. mc ; yM.ftin alt thn
-iriKir.jr iipws r-wtnr the y.:v Tri
huiio. Srcial War IiepHt.-l.. Iionif-s-
tnriM. HiutirmwM IIlut.tri.ti.mts KpPort4 ' ' p.Bjr
trial Iif,.rniation, Kiwhion N'nt.-. Axri- nnextf Hetl Agnriilturai
' uiiui.ii uimtfrv mr nil 1 v iruii tin
t'ompri-l pn'ie ni Kciil. tinanria
and .Market Rcpirt. It in niil at s -inn
hour a the daily ediinui, rowliM a )ar
Drtortion f Mtilknr.r:iAn r.n i4..,... .
and each d;ti.i ia a thoroughly op-io- jt The Pel'1'' 'aI'r
j ....,il(j .-n,i,T ir uufty
l-wpi?.
RfEuUrsubscripti-in prii-e
l.oO per year.
We furtiixh it with tho II KKALD for
50 per yvar. w J j
Send all Orders to the HERALD, Somerset -j
$2 50 per yvar
IT WIIL JiY
TO BUT YOUR
7remor.nl IVork
or
VM. F. SHAFFER,
Mannfactarer of and Iler In
"atern Work rursUhM on Short Nolle tlJStlXtijl!
vm m mm m
AJso, Ai-ntfor the WHfTK BEONZE !
Persona In .. r . .
fii,. it . ; , " -'"''oWL't Wo' arm
wn..o , in"--' ll at mv to
- rice. ,ery low. 1 OT., , ,pCT.i(li ,Ut,i to
Whit, Pr, Cr Fur. 2Iro yonumfnts.
terrS:A:K.': c:'"1
,',,.,, .." . B 'l!f! Ml
"! c'Lr m"- V- ch " : u tl e
" - i.ve a3,i; 1 '
It requires a good selected stock and a neatly arrn j i
rocra to do a brisk business. !
WE HAVE BOTH OF THEM.
Pure Dnip-s L , to w
O "" U1 in . p i
e i J 1 T 4V.. r
I 1 COOi ly LlUil Anything not advertised, a,k S
we are buro to bavo it. You are always sure of getting Uie be-1
JOHN N. SNYDER,
SOMEIl.SKT.p,
LOUTHER'S
RUG ' 3T0R
MAIN STREET,
SOMERSET, PA.
People ia Search of
SF0.TGES. TRUSSES TOILET ARTI
CLES. PERFUMES. ETC.
TH VMXK JIVH rBKMOMAl. ATTBSTIOM TOTBI COaporXMsoor
OKKAT CARS SKIS TAIIS TO C8 05tt Ttsn Ut rest AMICUS.
Spectacles, Eye-Glasses,
ltrg9 tS30rtment all can be suite 1.
THE FffiEST BESHDS OF CISlEs
teiidiDp; urcliaser9, wLcthcr they buy from us or dciLtre.
J. f1. LOUTHER Til. D.
SOAIET?SET
Elias Cunningham,
ViHTUlTVUI AJTD DKaXXm A2TD WHOLEUU A!(D RiTilLHOr
Lumber and Building Materials.
Ai
I rflAE
' 4
-Uail
Picit,
Kail. .!ai ii
Italnster. Ihrwai
wel Pests, tic.
MUZ
0'
Ai
a
Elias Cunningham,
i
D
NEARLY
11
'Alio
New
01 T HU S53
York
ii
1 ma
huu
p
Ii gives a'.l i:W""'-
tionsnJ V..r!il, tii !rwU"
b
let
ana
Sh..rt
Scientific r,.l M-li:i'ii'l
fr the ffjsel
Fashion Article
ruorou8lllutrati.nf"ro!J
J.
13d ,
United SUt.
Regular suiwril'ti Pr" '
1.00 per year.
We ftirofa.h it i:h th liEEA
$2 CO per yr.
Si,
u.
Ailu
aica,
A5rj
.i
.a. I if-I
i
FalCTlCiLLI,1
Over SOO
Beautiful
Designs.
'mis
iturr
i
! i
I J in
.
1
j c
1 Pre
Vm, F. Shaffer.