Herald.
a0t" publication.
wednlT morning at
'rfrT , ,h.r-l
jfp.id inaaauv,
.v ''" iU be djoon tinned until
at ,-"crtben' do-not
i1" be beld responsible
P -
il from ooe paetomoe to
... u, uie uaJUS Ol uie wnn-
- -
ten u kKAiT, Pa.
) ( i"- gnmarart, i"a.
1 9! ai Hour.
I ""' to nia care win be aW
I .S"'' ua ttac"',Jr-
I busueneU t.
t'ouiui eu mvutbarx. Pa.
I'
aoiueraet, h
buiuenet, ia
' eouierct. Pa.
;. v-aT-Iw.
1 eoiueiael. Pa.
J. U. CKiUu
- i i.i-i.l-A.r-i-A W,
3 buuicrnel, I I
I 'u w f ii M"aui
iLSfc HAY. A. U ii. HAY.
i" HA V,
i Ailou.t.Vs-Al-l-AW .
iLN H. LHL,
AiiUl-liV-Al-LAW,
tjouientet P.
boiueriMst, Pa.
toidlu nil business entnwurf U UU
iUU:r:t Ml"! UU1111U COU.LM, W1U1
n,i.niv. tiiuiou Miuu croM
MjUruUi orouery &ura.
All'UKA a, 1-AT-LA W
bow -t. Pa.
u..,,,.,,ih KUa-k. up ra. Kn-
ITob Mm Cro -oUecUons
Mtiili.
..OULBoKSi. U C OOLBOKN.
JIKOKN & COLBOKN,
At t, l-Al-irfA W,
bouuenicl. Pa.
emrustea lo oar care will be
111 EWUitTMU ocwiww J
uiLn. Burveyiaa ua couveyaucui
h U BALK,
buiuemet Pa.
xMaot m tjouierset and sdJvMnlnv
M ah bu.iueeiiirusud U lino wui
i--.r jruinpl allieuuou.
j. lurl Hu I n. w . H. PP
JiTKUlH ct KUPFKL,
At"i'Uiii.VrKAi'-l.W,
Somerset, Pa.
- uaiuo tn'jnMed to their care will be
s
sciiuu jiuuciimny stveuuea U. Jiuoe
iilu cum iiml, opposite MsmnioUt
4.
I L MAlisDEN. M. V.,
t-lt raiaiLi.v .uaBUiwiKoS,
irwl-'irvt Vxtmnal Hunk.
I iuuuu (itoi ui me cure of the
I uil ki Luc Umluicul ol curouic UlMWVi
W. CAliOTHliKS, M. D.,
t'iltalcivtN Asi&t"HuM)M,
bouiemel. Pa.
j od lu.o. fctreet, opposite U. B.
.unioihce.
i Y. i SiiAFfKlt,
J HiMi I A N .Nil I'RtifcX)N.
Bo uie met. Pa.
"aounjK-i .ua .ciuu. uiuoeouruer
-. .-Jwi ij f.Lrnl ueu
li J. -M. LoUTiiEK,
He Miuii tirwt, nair of lrux store.
Ji H. IS. KIMMtLL,
hit pnile.hionl kervice to the clti-
xi Jiiiirt-i huiI ticiuiiy. L uia prv-"-..)
ciiu tie cuu be luund t his of-
5 1 C f..ITT T - X"
i. . Jl 1. -.i 1 lljj,. ,
oniuuMUr in leuustry.)
i '' siu-uuou U the preservation
muiti i. ii. i).vu a Co'i store.
.!.(. rv. uul p&Lnot streets.
jr'U.Nh, Jb. rLLXK,
Land burveyor
ti L.N KEa. UsUe, Pa.
Ji'tRATlVE MUTUAL FIRE
S. CO., UEKL1N, FA,
ituuranttf at actual coet by iuur-
Lome. We insure Town and
i-ft'i-my. Write for information.
JA0. J. ZORN,
Secretary.
110
TEL GLOBE,
. ouiiuence. Penn a.
. iub mi urra muniiuini
J,"'''IJW "U mi UHMlern laiproveuienu
uuu"r ,J uuinii;eliieul ol John
;a leuordhoieiiusn. Thepuo
V 11 hed,urter when
Johu Murray.
I A. L0NU,
AHCIIITECT
't Pur Build g, pITTtiBL KO, PA.
kin"ar-v k,-u-l,rt prvpared and
PpruMti lrrukuli, a
submit-
ice sol
net tea.
H- UUsSTOX,
ertaker and Embalmer.
A GOOD HEARSE,
nTUln peruininf to foaarala fum-
tlhed.
cMerset -
- Pa.
f
mi
1 lie
VOL. XLVIIL NO. 44.
Single
tandard
only U pfuwible, whether as a tet of ei
ollfnce ia j'HirnMmm. or for the meas
urement of qunt:titM,tiiie or value; and
The...
Philadelphia
Record
after a rsreer rf ove twenty years r.f un
interrupted growth is justified in claim
ing that the htandard first established by
its founders is the one true test of
A Peif-ct Newspaper.
To publish ALL THE NEWS promptly
and succinctly and in the mo-t readable
form, without elision or partisan bitu;
to discuss its significance with frank
nw, to keep AN OPEN EYE FOR
PUBLIC ABUSES, to give besides a
complete record of current thought,
fancies and discoveries in all depart
ments of human activity in its DAILY
EDITIONS of from 10 to 11 PAGES,
and to provide the whole for its patrons
at the nominal price of ONE CENT
that was from tbe outset, and will con
tinue to be the aim of THE RECORD.
The Pioneer
one cent morning newspaper in the
United States, "The Record'' still leads
w heie others follow.
Witness its unrivaled average daily cir
culation, exceeding 185.000 copies, and
an average exceeding 1-15,000 copies for
its Sunday editions, while im.ita.ions of
Its plan of publication in every import
ant city of the country testify to the
truth of the assertion that in the quan
tity and quality of its content, and in
the price at which it is sold "The Rec
ord" has established the standard by
which excollace in journalism must
be measured.
The Daily Edition
o" "The Record" will be seut by mail
to any address for J.i.00 per year or
25 cents per ruouth.
The Sunday Edition
at 2c per copy or 1.00 per year, togeth
er with the Daily, will give its readers
the best and freshest information of all
that is going on in the world every day
in the year, including holidays, will be
sent for f i 00 a year or 35 cents per
month.
Address
THE RECORD PUBLISHING CO.,
Record Building.
Philadelphia, Pa.
WHERE TO
DINE!
SOUPS,
hot lunches,
cold lunches,
icecream:,
DESERTS,
DAY AND NIGHT.
Tne neatest, cleanest and best place
in Somerset for meals. Everything in
season, carefully prepared and at moder
ate prices. When you come to town try
he "White Palace" and be happy.
OYSTERS.
Shipments of Fresh Oysters received
daily and for sale in quantities to
suit the purchasers, at
Cook A Beerits
M. L. Shaffer's.
Block.
ADMINISTRATOR S NOTICE.
Estate of Henry H. P. Panlcln. late of Jenner
U)wnliip, sonwnM county, I , aec a
f .vf Bmltilatmtlr.n All the Above
enisle having own t-rR riled io the undersigned
by the proper authority, nolioe Is hereby giv
en to all prntons knowing themselves Indebt
ed to mid eftsi to nuke immediate payment
snd thoiie having claims or deniandu sainvt
the same lo pretwut them duly authenti.ted
for setilement on .-isturday, the Uth day ot
April, 1UU, at late rr-inece oi air o.
ll..m liiir.ii-.
JOHN M. I'tMKKS,
Geo. R. Heull, Administrators.
Attorney.
TOTICE.
nnved lnd ?.ituaU in Khnde township, tm-
run cvuuiji, a ' v" " " "--
wf'rtHlm and John Ktimidti on ih
. . . U. .4l.ininr luriftsi 4f JisKlklh
flnhn I tt4ltrV-raniI JlillHI llllll iui VIS aiiv
... a. Ii... ;J t..i n.s a n 4 ItMirvA !.! llnttrttlH n
March 7. 1:UL BuiiiHlown. fa.
X EGAL NOTICE.
To Ella Coupnenonr. of ronnUvi:p, Pi,
OI a writ i jmruinui ii-ur v
. . . : . i . 1 u Il.a ili.
u.A n i.niit on ilt t remiM uu Ihemu
in i-Mirhop Utwuvmp. pku-' -t iauui, i ,
on Krl-inv, in lUh day oi M .y, IKM, w!m-i
. if vjui tt.iolr
ana wnere yuu vu vic
proper.
tShertfTP Offlw, ) J- B. BAYLOR.
ADMINISTRATOR'S NOTICE.
Estate of Elizabeth Trent, lat f Stonycreek
township, iiamiwu.
t fr r .iliiiliiluniiliiii on the nbove es
tate livln bwa nnleU I he uuUcrl,cued
ti. imurr million tv. no! ee herHiy giv.
en lo all prsoim Indebted lu ld etKl to
nuke hnun-diMte iwynieut, and Uiit bmviiic
cinimaifHlnl Uiome to prtent llieiu duly
ulhenlicHted for (eiilement tin tturrfay.
April AS, iaou, . Mio otimcm " - ' .
fcl). P. I Kl. I.
Administrator
a tiVIVTSTRATOR'S NOTICE.
Entato or Adalina Hmall, late of Shade
townliip. Muienrt oouuly, 1". dee'd.
UetteniofdmliiitrUon on tbenboveealate
k .-in. . u .i.niMl tt tlbe undermined by
the pruper auiboilty, noUoe in bvrvby given
to ail penon inaeutea to iu wmh w hm
iuimediiile puvmeut, aud tboae having claim
CHinxt theiMiue U preeiil lbm duly au
theuuvaled tor oeuieiueul to toe admiuinu-
' BESJAJtlN A. HMAIX,
Adiuiuismiior.
tSSlOXEE'S NOTICE.
Aaron Blough and (In the Court of Com-
Wire U , mon ei-m. -n iwibw-i
UwarJ Keller. ( art County. IVnn'a.
Aaron Biooth and wife bavln made a vol
nniary aaansunieut tor the benetltof Uieircivo
itoni.otall ur projwrty, real and pernooal.lo
the unaeriijjned, nuttee U hereby given to all
perwm tuoebied to an id awijenor to maka Im
nnduiieiiayrueiit, and tboe havins claim
arniMl him Ui pnwrnl them duly auiheiitica-U-,1
for aeitmiit to the aUroe, at Uie real-d'-nce
of Ute amiknor. u Weduelay. May 2,
1WU. at 10 o'chx A. M., In vtueinaboninc
townahip. t4omen connly, la.
tUWAKU KiXLKR, Aanignee,
tKMuenel, ia.
WANTED Lain to make by eontraet. Mill
forniahlnc. material for) M and upward, no
less considered. Fifteen y. expertenoe
i Kreuco. JOIIN iXKjbDlLXs Liopex, 1'a.
Pr. James
Headach.
Powdeia,
NEURALGIA?
Yes, it n-ill cure Neu
ralgia too any kind
of headache, in fact
and without any bad
effects.
Dr. James'
Headache Powders.
Famous Prescription
of an old physician.
Perfectly harmless
and perfectly sure to
cure.
Babie. Invalid, anv on can tax.
teem wi-.h perfect safety.
At all Drag Stores.
4 Doses 1 0 Cents.
Core Where
Others
fall.
THE-
First National Bant
Somerset, Ponn'a.
Capital, S50.000.
Surplus, S44.O0O.
UNO,v,iRP.Ts S5.000.
ocpoaiT scciivc m LAsor awoaaiatt
SMOUMT. PVLt ON OtVtSi
ACCOUMTB or SKCNtNTt, SattMEHS,
STOCK OCALtSS, ANO OTMCttS SOLICITED
DISCX5UNTS DAILY.
BOARD OF DIRECTORS.
CHAS. O. Ht L LL, OKO. R. HCULti,
JAM ICS L. HL'UU, W. H. MILLKK,
JOHN H. HCOTT. ROBT. H. HCUiJU
EDWARD SCULL, : : PRESIDENT
VALENTINE HAY, : VICE rKfcfll'ET
HARVEY M. BEKKLSY," (VABH1EB
curely protected in a celebrated CoaiiMs uca
qlab rftuor DArRi xueuiujr mug uuubkuw
lovely barglax-prooL
Jacob D Swank,
Watchmaker and Jeweler,
Next Ooor West of Lutheran Church,
Somerset, - Pa.
I Am Now
prepared to supply the public
with Clocks, Watchca, and Jew
elry of all descriptions, as Cheap
as the Cheapest.
REPAIRING A
SPECIALTY.
All work guaranteed. Look at my
lock before making your
purchases.
J. D. SWANK.
KEFFER'S NEW SHOE STORE!
KEN'S B0YS:. WOMEN'S, GIRLS' ad CHILDREN'S
SHOES, OXFORDS and SLIPPERS.
Black and Tan. Latent Styles and Shapes
at lowest
.CASH PRICES
Adjoining Mrs. A. E. TJhl, South-east
corner of square.
SOMERSET. PA.
v54! 60 YEARS'
XJ ,4 Trade Marks
CorrmaMTS Ac
Anroo. ttlf a rtrfrti and 1 iay
nuloklT urvrum cor opinio fT, ,
pi-rml mum, wttbost ehanra. la tha
Scientinc flmerlcam
MUKN&Co.6,B"--N8wTcrk
tail Oao-TeB r SUWadnasioa, D. u
a " TT ".it-!.
Get an Education
Th. bt ovtfil ia Ufa. Baat B.Lhodi aaad a
CDETRAL STATE RORsUL SCHOOL
LACK BAT EX (Ctla.M C fjU
fWnnc fMHf, nrid mmimm, to4 libnrr
Biodam tppfcriteu ib barurj md ajymDtv
f nm, taAi1otDt bBlidinn. UttBMTt itrumadfl.
ttlvr(ait Xtmm. lMk eiptaw, tt &id lo t
dot la cwi'iiUom io rarvw txHiraea, !.
iiTOvofkMoffarml in Moic, Shorthod,Tjp
jAMkM KLIMil. rk. rraoHpil, M liM, IS.
i
rS-.v fllXTULU
r:!en.l tnoft softlv cndX.
most clttCtJNtlV otr
.tl'P. I" 'J r , i V
'h& litrvc sceuc v 1.1 u tucv. a t
by wjxca coluUs. V
Tae liUt tLU 1I lttrrs
beauty's chiixnt, il:cij. -Mill c i
finished touci to titer; v ;i : :
room or dining icvi. , is. t. c )
mcllo-v glow ol
IMX CANS
Soli in nil ftjlor c:.i f
to haraioaiM mth ary uj
Ua;igiiig ecccrt tiers.
Jliin'a-tnrea y
STANDARD CI. TO
Tor vile C"x' ' 1 -
j
'1 h
Somerset
SOMERSET, PA., WEDNESDAY, APKIL 1 1 1H00.
FIDELITY.
They were young and glad together
In the dawn of life's tint May,
When Id bright arid sunny weather
Sang the hlrds from every p.ay.
Clear the heavens ebone out above them ;
Blue and radiant were the skies;
All thinxsptvlng seemed to love them,
And the spring gleamed in her eyes.
Through life's summer still together '
Band In hand and heart to heart,
They have borne the sultry weather
And have watched the diya depart.
Still she is to him the maiden
Who stepped daintily of old
Through the gnus, her apron laden
With bright buttercups of gold.
8U11 together, still together.
They will tace life's autumn boars;
In the grim November weather
Love will strew their path with flowers.
For their love has ever brightened
Hlnce the first long loving day.
And their happiness has heightened.
Though the' r hair is growing gray !
George Barlow.
PAINTED OUT.
Let me make it plain at once that I
am a port rait-punter. I lay 110 claim
to distinction, though I Lave sufficient
patronage to make life easy. This is on
account of the strangest and easiest
commission I ever had. My chief hob
by ia old-fashioned frames. I don't
care what ia Inside of them, my hobby
being to get a frame and later to paint
a picture inside which shall seem to me
suitable for such a setting.
One day in December, about a week
before Christmas, I picked up a fine,
but dilapidated specimen of wood-carving
in a store ou Sixth avenue. The
gilding had been worn nearly away,
and three of the corners were broken
off; yet as there was one of the corners
still left, I hoped to be able to repair
the others from it. As for the canvas
inside this frine, it was so siuoihered
with d'.rt and time-stains that I could
hardly distinguish that it bad been a
very badly painted likeness of some
sort, of a commonplace person, and
was daubed by a poor pot-boiling paint
er to fill the second-hand frame which
bis patron may have picked up cheap
ly, as I had done after him; but as the
frame was all right, I took the spoiled
canvas along with it, thinking it might
come in handy.
When I arrived at my studio I fouud
a gentleman awaiting me. I put the
o!d frame against the wall and inquired
hbi wishes.
"I want my portrait painted," he
said simply.
"Your own?" I asked.
"No," he answered hesitatingly,
that of a person who died several years
a$o.
Such commissions are not altogether
uncommon, and though they are sel
dom satisfactory, either to the artist or
to the client, they are profitable. So I
asked my visitor what he bad in the
way of photographs that I could give
my work by.
"I have a miniature on ivory," he
said. "It is a good likeness, and the
coloring is exact- If you could en
large "
I told him to show me the minia
ture. He 6aid he did not have it with
him, bt said be would bring it the
next day, and departed. Of course the
matter dropped out of my mind iu a
short time. I was very busy until well
in the evening, when I cbauced to look
at my recent purchase. The light fell
on it in such a way that my attention
was attracted by a slight marking that
seemed to indicate that the canvas bad
been u-ted more thao once. The orig
inal picture bad been painted out to
make room for this coarse daub.
With some curiosity I set to work
with water and soap to clean the thing.
This process brought out the viledraw
ing ot the upper portrait in ugly clear
ne.. It was the bloated, piggish vis
age of a politician, clearly, with a plen
tiful supply of jewelry displayed, as is
usual with such masterpieces, where
the features are not considered of so
much importance as a strict fidelity in
the depicting of such articles as watch
guard and seals, finger-rings and breast
pins; these were all there, as natural
and hard as reality.
Having got the dirt cfl", I had re
course to spirits of wine and turpen
tine, with which, anil a plentiful sup
ply of rags, I began to demolish the
politician ruthlessly in the vain hope
that I might find nomething worth
lookloK .t underneath.
A slow process that was, as well as a
delicate one, so that it was close upon
midnight when the gold cable-rings
and vermilion visage disappeared, and
another picture loomed up before me;
then, giving it the final washover, I
wiped it dry and ret it In a good light
on my easel, while I filled and lit my
pipe, and then sat dowu to look at it.
What had I liberated from, that vile
prison of crude paint? I did not re
quire to set it up to know that this bun
gler of the brueh had covered and de
filed a work as far beyond his compre
hension as the clouds are from the cat
erpillar. The bust and had of a young wom
an of uncertain age, merged wtth a
gloom of rich accessories, painted as
only a matter hand can paint who is
above asserting bis knowledge, and
who has learned to cover his tech
nique. It was as ierfect and natural
in iu somber and yet quiet dignity as
if it had come from the brush of Mo
roni. A face and neck perfectly colorless in
their pallid whiteness, with the shad
ows so artfully mat aged that they
could not be seen, and for this quality
would have delighted the strong-minded
Queen Bess.
At first I looked and saw in the cen
ter of a vague darkness a dim patch of
gray gloom that drifted up to the shad
ow. Then the grayness appeared to
grow lighter as I sat from it and leaned
back in my chair until the features
stole out softly and became clear and
definite, while the figure stood out from
the background as if tangible, although
having washed it, I knew that it had
been very smoothly painted.
An intent face, with delicate nose,
well -shaped, although bloodless lips,
and eyes like dark caverns without a
park of light in them. The hair loose
ly textured, jet black and lusterless,
which hid the upper portion of the
brow, with the ears, and fell in straight
indefinite wave over the left breast,
leaving the right portion of the trans
parent neck exposed.
ESTABLISHED 1827.
'I'flA Hrofia o 1 1 liaibor.-inn.l irnni Di'm. I
phonies felony, yet full of subtle col
oring and masterly feeling; a dree of
rich brocaded velvet with a background
that represented vatt receding space
wondrously suggestive aud awe-inspiring.
I was so fascinated with my discov
ery that I sit gazing at it until I nearly
fell asleep in my chair. Then I went
to bed and did not awaki; until aroused
by a knock. When I inquired who
was there I recognized the voice of my
visitor of the day before. Bidding him
be patient for a moment, I dressed hur
riedly aud let him in.
"Good morning, Mr. Masters," he
said on entering, "I have brought the
min-"
. He stopped abruptly, the word seem
ing to choke him. He was all of a
tremble, the only steady part of him
being his eyes, which were fixed upon
the easel, where I bad left the portrait
found in the battered frame.
"A striking face, is it not?" I said in
a good deal of wonderment at bis agi
tation. "I uncovered it last night."
"Uncovered it?" he said vaguely;
I've been looking for it these six years.
See here," and he handed me a tiny
box, which I opened. It euclosed an
ivory disk, setjt jewels, upon which
was painted with most delicate work
mauship, the exact image of the face
on my easel. Then I took my turn at
staring, my wouder growing the more
carefully I compared tlie two portraits.
"It's my daughter," said he present
ly. "But these were painted a short
lime before her death. The canvas was
stoleu. Why it was stolen I never
knew "
"The frame was valuable when it was
in good order," I suggested.
"That ' was not the frame," be res
ponded, "but your explanation may be
true, for the original frame was very
expensive. It was iu my summer
house and the robbery took place in
the winter. The house was ransacked
for every possible article of plunder.
This went among the other things, and
I have haunted the picture stores ever
since trying to find it."
"The thief probably sold it to a junk
man," I said, "from whom it was pur
chased by a poor artist who wanted to
get a canvas for the miserable picture I
washed out la.-t night. In any event I
am glad to restore so fine a work to its
owner," I continued.
He grasped my hand warmly.
"Thank you a thousand times," he
exclaimed, "but you shall not lose your
commission. You have supplied me
with something Infinitely better than I
hoped you could do. I do not dispar
age your ability, Mr. Masters "
"No oflense taken," I interrupted.
"No artist can hope to paint satisfacto
rily unle be ha a 1 ! nlJct."
"And this portrait was painted frcm
life! I shall pay you your whole fte,
Mr. Masters."
Of course I demurred; but he was
very wealthy; he would not be satisfied
without paying me, and insisted on
knowing my usual fee for such work,
and In the end I had to tell him. How
much? Well, 1 usually get a thousand
for a portrait like that. Chicago News.
The Country Is Safe. -
Hj was a rather raw specimen of the
country yap, but he stepped into the
presence of the editor with the usual
confidence of a free American citizen.
"Excuse me," be said, after the or
dinary salutations, "but will you tell
me to the best of your knowledge and
ability if this country's going to take
in the Philippines?"
"There's nothing else to do," replitd
the editor.
"How about Porty Reeky?"
"That's settled, a one of us."
"And the Sitidwish Islands?"
"In with us, too."
"How about Cuby?"
"That will be in by and by."
"And Guam and the scatteria'?"
"All in or beard from."
"Aud are we going to have the same
old Star Bpangled Banner?"
"The same."
"And the same old American Ea
gle?"
"The same."
"An1 f 1 1 a aflnionl.l T'.mrtli nf Tillv"
"Just the same,"
"Aud the same old Uncle Stm?"
"A little taller aud wider out, that's
all."'
"And the same old constitution and
by-laws ?"
'Exactly."
"And the same old great and gloiious
republic?"
"The same, only more so."
"Much obleeged," he said, starting
out. "They wanted me to run for con
stable down In my county, but I didn't
want to put my card in the paper and
whack up till I knowed more about
what kind of a gover'ment I was goin'
to git mixed up with."
"Oh, the country is all right," said
the editor encouragingly.
"I reckon," he hesitated a moment,
"you wouldn't object to guaranteein'
that the pallajium of our liberties wasn't
goin' to be jostled nor rhook on its un
derpinnin', would ytu?"'
"Not at all."
"Much obleeged, much obleeged, and
if I ain't a constable after the returns
comes in it'll be because there's a tog
in the gudgeons of ttate, that's alL
Good morniu'," and he passed out more
breezily than he had come in. New
York Sun.
Do Not Be Fooled
With the idea that any preparation
your druggist may put up and try to
sell you will purify your blood like
Hood's Sarsaparilla. This medicine
has a reputation it has earned its
record.. It ia prepared under the
personal supervision of educated
pharmacists who know the nature,
quality and medicinal effect of all
the Ingredients used. Hood's Sarsa
parilla absolutely cures all forms of
blood disease when other medicines
fail to do any good. It Is the World's
great Spring Medicine and the One
True Blood Purifier.
Literature travels faster than steam
nowadavs. And the worst of it is that
we can't any of us give up reading; it's
as insidious as a vice ana as tiresome as
a virtue. The louchstone.
Ia the Best of Humor.
Politicus The question is. What
shall we do with our new pessionn ?
Younghub I'll tell you what I do
with mine; I walk the fioor nights with
it Harper's Bazar.
Impartial Spectator (at dj,j fiht)
That under dog doesn't seem to be a
match for the other, but I don't wonder
you sympathiza with him. That's hu
man nature.
Excited Individual Sympathiza with
him? Tuuuder! Hi's my d j-Cii
cajo Tribune.
'Ittstus What yo' I'nk is de m ittah
wif me, doctab ?
Doctor Oil, nothing but the chick,
en pox, I guess.
'iiastus (getting nervous) I 'clare
on mah honah, doctah, I hain't bin
nowhar I could ketch dat! Judge.
"Is it true that you Filipinos are
making secret visits to Manila?"
"Well," answered the uative "we've
gottogetiato Miuila oiicj In a while,
so as to get the news from the sympa
thiz'M in America and Had out ho
-the war is getting ou." Wasbiug-.on
Star.
"Feller in this town," said the land
lord of the tavern at Polkville, Arkan
sas, "drank half a piut of lye last week,
thinkin' it was whisky."
"How did it affect him?" aiked the
tourist from the north.
"Aw, he has been thinkin' ever since
that it wasn't whisky." Judge.
The advance division reached the top
of a low bill commauding the town.
"Ah!" cried the leader, yonder are
the tents of the enemy. Now, men, to
work!"
The men worked like beavers, and
preseutly all the dead wails, Laru,
fences, trees and such in the neighbor
hood bore huge posters which read:
''Don't go to fake shows! Wait for
Farnum's Gorgeous Circus! Coming!
Coming!" Philadelphia Press.
How to Plant Fruit Trees in Kansas.
Dig the hole about C Inches deeper
thau the tree stood in the nursery.
Fill up about 4 Inches with rich top
soil, aud leave a mound in the center
for the tree to rest upon. Make the
hole large enough to admit all the roots,
without cramping them. Fill in 2 or 3
inches with fine dirt, putiu one bucket
of water, wait uutil it soaks away, fill
in 2 or 3 inches mure soil, and tramp
good. That will pack it firmly around
the roots. Then fill In aud tramp it
until tlia hole is full. Leave the tree
about 30 degrees, toward 2 o'clock, the
time iu the day when the sua is hottest.
When planted cut off all limbs at the
ring or barn near tne trunk, put be
careiul not to disturb the ring, as it
will then soon heal over aud leave uo
"bump" or scar. If the ring Is injur
ed or cut away, It will leave a hollow
or dimple. Cut the top off 3 feet above
the ground on apple, 2 feet ou cherry,
plum, pear and apricot, and 11 feet ou
peach. Cut the limbs otrall, Uie same
as on apple. Form your -new top in
Jme. Ua apple, leave six limbs on
the upper foot, five limbs oa cherry,
plum pear an 1 apricot, and on peach
four limbi on upper G inches. Taking
away tne limos gives tae roots a
chance to take bold and form new root
lets and thus gain sufficient strength
to support the tree througti the hardest
drought we ever bad iu Ktusts. H.
Gephart in Farmer's 'Advocate
Why H7changedPolitics.
Col. Johnson, of Kentucky, one of
the many, loves nothing on earth better
thau the Il"publiean party, uoles-t it is
a good story along with the flavor of
hUdriQk. At a dinner iu New York
a few evenings ago he was called ou for
a toast. He drank the toast and re
sponded with a story about a G -bel
Democrat who weut hunting on his
native heath. "It began to rain," said
the colonel, "and in Kentucky it never
rain but it pours. The Democrat had
ju-it enough widoin to get out of the
we', so ,he crawled into a hollow log
and fell asleep. When he awokethe
water-soaked log had swollen. He
couldn't move, and he began to think
of tome of the mean things be bad done.
AU of a sudden the thought struck him
that he was a Democrat, aud well, sir,
that fellow feit so small be crawled out
of that log easy. He has been a Re
publican -ver since." New York Com
mercial Advertiser.
Eemarkabla Care of Rleumatism-
Kexxa, Jackson Co., W. Va.
About three years ago my wife had
an attack of rheumatism which con
fined her to her bed for over a month
and rendered her unable to walk a step
without assistance, her limbs being
swollen to double their normal size.
Mr. 8. Maddox insisted on my using
Chamberlain's Pain Balm. I purchas
ed a fifty-cent bottle aud used it accord
ing to the directions and the next
morning she walked to breakfast with
out assistance in any manner, and she
has not had a similar attack since. A.
B. Paksons. For sale by all druggists.
A Poor Opinion ot the Postmaster.
A man with Canadian wool trousers
and a peaked fur cap as the most prom
inent articles of his attire came into the
Biddeford postoffice tLe other day and
stepped up to the window. Said he
with a bland t-mile:
"P'rap you don't have not tin's here
for Joseph-Me frau, hey?"
"I douno," said the clerk. "What
do jou fay your nima is?"
"Joseph Mefrau."
"Mee-frow, Met-fro w how do you
spell it?"
The Canadian at the window looked
through the bars at the clerk, nd then
with a disgust that I cannot put in
words be cried :
"Ba darm, yo' donno how spell
Joseph Mefrau, yo' batter sal out dis
plac and go fin nine nodder bus'ness."
Lewieton, Me., Journal.
Accidents come with distressing fre
quency on the farm. Cuts, bruises.
stings, sprains. Dr. Thomas' Eclectric
Oil. relieves the pain instantly. Never
safe without it.
Tie flower trade of Lcndo i exceeds
in value $10,000,000 per annum.
Herald
Esisic' Corn.
If you wish early corn and heuvy
yields, plant in the Southern states on
March 20, or at the time of the first full
nnon in Mrch, and give a good dis
tance to yHir corn, say S4 feet, one
to a hill. Put a large double handful
of well rotted manure under each hill.
In preparing the laud, I plow deep,
harrowing o(f smooth aad cover light
ly in rich sail. I usually plant in rows,
4 feet aptrt and leave a stalk every 2
feet iu the row. I plow deep and close
to the corn at first an 1 scjud work
ings then I run scrapers with scooters,
gophers or sweeps through the rows
three times, taking care to not cut
many of the feeding roots. S me say
cut these roots, but my experience is
that they should never be disturbed,
for they are almost as necssary b the
corn plant as nerves are to the human
system. Save the feeders. I remember
that in my boyhood days every oue
was trying get the corn laid before
the Fourth of July; also looked forward
to getting acottou bloom on that date.
The corn, cotton aud peas were fine in
those day, and juicy melous were
abundant. Bjt what a sad c'lange do
we see. We now have to plow deep,
manure and fertilize heavily, work
hard and make oue-fourth as much
in the daysgoue by, when cotton mIe
a bale t the acre aud brought $"0 a
bale, orn 2 to UJ bushels per a-rean 1
peas mostly rotted on the grouud. We
now make a bale of cotton ou four
acre, corn 1) tJ 2 bushel P-r a-re
aud very few peas. My experieuce is
that we should fertilize heavily with
manure and other fertilizers and plant
a reduced acreage. We must briu our
lands up to what they were I u former
years, and with the aid of p-a it can
be done. Plant eitton in last year's
pea p itch aud see theeirct, BJt never
plant paas iu your c ottoa, for they will
ruiu it. H. A. Cooley.
"Beans and Brown Bread."
I recall especially the impatient crit
icism made by a young German lady
who had come to this country when
she was about 19 years of age. She had
learned English well in ten years, and
had renounced her allegiance to all for
eign potentates, especially to the Em
peror William II. Going back to Ger
many to visit her friends for a year, she
became so homesick for Boston that she
wanted to returu in three months.
"Everything here in Germany,"" she
said, "is too klow, too old-fashioned."
Argument could scarcely couvince her
that there was anything over there
which we might adopt to advantage,
unless it were a few more German citi
zens. At that I tried to awaken ber
pride of birth by referring to br native
tongue. "Well, 1 said, "you, at any
rate, like the German language." "Oh,
German, she said, "is so awkward and
clumsy; it is so artificial; English is far
better for business." "Well," I said.
when you get angry, don't you find
German more convenient?" "No,"
she answered, "I can scold a great deal
better in English; it has m.irj snap to
it." "Well, perhaps you like Germau
for love-making?" "No," she replied,
"I think English ia much better even
for that." After this experience I am
prepared to believe the story of the
German who, after living several yean
in Boston, went home with his family
to live ia Germany. Finding that they
could get no Boston "beans and brown
bread" in that country, life became in
tolerable, and they returned. Hoi. S.
J. Barrows, iu the Forum.
American Humor.
In his new book, "America To-day,"
William Archer reproduces the follow
ing examples of American humor:
"Ou board oue of the Florida steam
boats, which have to be built with ex
ceedingly light draught to get over the
frequent shallows of the rivers an Eng
lishman accosted the captain, with the
remark:
"'I understand, captain, that you
think nothing of steaming ar.ros a
meadow, where there's been a heavy
fall of dew.'
" 'Well, I don't know about that,'
replied the captain, 'but it's true we
have sometimes to send a man ahead
with a watering pot.' "
"Again a southern colonel was con
ducted to the theater to see Salvini's
'Othello.' He witnessed the perform
ance very gravely, aud remarked at
the close:
"That was a mighty good show, and
I don't see but the cooq did as well as
any of 'em."
"A third anecdote that charmed me
was that of the man who, being invited
to take a drink, replied:
"No, no; I solemnly promised my
dear, dead mother never to touch a
drop; betides, boys, it's too early in the
morning; besides, I've just had one."
The Best in the World.
We believe Chamberlain's Cough
Remedy is the best iu the world. A
few weeks ago we sufiered with a
severe cold and a troublesome cough,
and having read their advertisements
in our own and other papers we
purchased a bottle to see If it would
affect us. It cured us before the bottle
was more thau half used. It is the
best medicine out for cold and cou jha.
The Herald, Andersonville, ImL
For sale by all druggists.
Mrs. Henpeck "For goodness sake!
what did you buy that squawking par
rot for?" Mr. Henpeck "For f 10, my
dear." "Don't be funny. You com
plained the other day that there was
too much talking about this house, any
way." "Yes, dear; and since I can't
have less talking, I can at least have a
change occasionally."
In all stages of Nasal Catarrh there
should be cleanliness. As experience
proves, Ely's Cream Balm, is a cleans
er, soother and healer of the diseased
membrane. It is not drying nor Irri
tating, and doe) not produce sneezing.
Pries 50 cts. at druggists or it v ill be
mailed by Ely Brothers, 50 Warren
St., New York. Upon being placed into
the nostrils it Fpreala over the mem
brane and relief is immediate. It la an
agreeeble cure.
WHOLE NO. 2541.
Working Country Road.
All reforms come through and by
r asou of a?iition, and it is a hopeful
sign to see such a widespread awaken
Ing on this ul jfCL Now, lam noth
ing if not a radical, and I advocate a
complete revolution in our jystem of
road work. My idea ia to have all the
road tax paid ia money instead of
work, and then hire the road work by
the season. In this way I think $1
would d the work of f2 under the
present system, if this estimate should
prove correct, then we might reduce
our poll tar. to $2 and still be a dollar
ahead. Then, if we bad a man to do
our road work who devoted his entire
time to it, our roads would te worked
when they should be. This way they
never are and never will be. It is
universftlly conceded that all heavy
gradiug should be done in the spring,
but where in the farmer that will leave
his spring woik to work on theroad?
It will not be different next spring nor
the spring following; so you see, under
the present management, there is nc
hope for a liettenueut of conditions.
No, is it wise to retain that which
we cau never improve on ? Better lay
it aside as having outlived its useful
ness and put iu its place something
better. There is another advantage in
favor of the road overseer, and that is,
he would in time learu his business
aud would not waste more than half of
the funds applied through lack of
knowledge as to how to properly apply
it. It is not an uueommon sight to see
the road aetualiy damaged by the over
seer's misguided efforts. WUh a gaug
of three or four roci under the
guidance of an experienced roadmaster
it is eafe to ay more could be accom
plished iu one day than we now do in
two wi:h the same forfe. Under the
present system the road tax derived
from real estate is nearly all lost. The
several amount-tare nearly all too small
to make it worth while to tak- a team
to work it out, and the result is it "goes
glimmering." That is the way it
works in tfur road district. Now, you
see if we would adopt the cash system
we would t-ave all that. Iu fact, I
think we have everything to gain and
nothing to lose by the proposed change.
W. P. Lnug, in Farmer's Advocate.
flitting Shale Trees in Oklahoma
A bulletin cf the Oklahoma Experi
ment Station says: Those who failed
to set out shade trees during the fall
should prepare now to so in the spring.
At the Oklahoma Experiment Station,
in one experiment on a hard soil, the
following method resulted successfully:
Holes 3 feet iu diameter and 3 feet deep
were dug iu the early winter aud al
lowed to remaiu open, so that the soil
could -vea the? aui become, porous.
Iu February three forkfuls of well
rotted manure were put iu the bottom
of the holes, and on top of this two
shovelfuls uf leached ashes. This was
then covered with surface soil aud the
holes fillet up to within a foot of the
top. This was then allowed to settle
aud become firm before the trees were
set Tne Iree-i were set out in March
and the soil within 3 feet of the trees
was hoed after every rain during the
summer. Maple aud locusts were plant
ed, and they made a vigorous and rapid
growth. While Ibis method is perhaps
too expensive to be used for extensive
plantings, it is recommended for nseiu
town-i and about the bouse and lawn.
Whatever imthod of planting is fol
lowed, little success, will follow unless
the soil is tborojghly cultivated and
the surface kept free from grass and
wted i.
What Their Wives Said.
Three friends who bad been spending
the tven n; at their club agreed that
the one woo did not do as his wife told
him when he got home should pay for
an oyster i-upper.
Smith, in trying to find the matches,
trod on the cat
"That's right," said his wife, waking
up; "kill the poor cat, and have done
with it!"
"Well," thought Smith, "I'll have to
kill the cat or pay for the supper." So
he killed the cat
Brown was uo less fortunate when he
arrived home. Iu the dark be stum
bled against the piano.
-"Why don't you break the piano?"
demanded his wife.
Brown at once broke the piano,
When Joues got home he stumbled
on the top step of the staircase.
"Go on!" said his wife from the bed
room. Tumble downstairs aud break
your neck!".
"N'jt iue!" answered Jones. "I'll
pay for the supper first" Auswers.
'The Loss of Oali is Great;
The loss of health Is more." Health i
lost by ueglecliug to keep the blood
pure, but it is regained by purifying,
enriching and vitalizing the blood with
the great health restorer, Hood's Sar
saparilla. Thousands who thought
health had been permanently loot have
been made perfectly well by taking this
great medicine. Your experience may
be the same.
Hood's Pills are gentle, yet always
effective.
Mia- Wantoneaux "I thought you
considered Tom one maa in a million."
Miss Maynchanz "So I do." Miss
Wantoneaux "Yet you've become en
gaged to Mr. Kichleigb." Miss Mayn
chanz "Yes; he Li one man with a mil
lion." In almost every neighborhood there
is some oue whose life has beensavtd
by Chamberlain's Colic, Cholera and
Diarrhoea Remedy, or who has been
cured of curonic diarrhoea by the uje
of that medicine. Such persons make
a point of telling of it whenever op
portunity offers, hoping that it may ba
the means of saving other lives. For
sale by all druggists.
The British ironclad Warrior, which
is the oldest war-ship of its kind iu
Her Majesty's navy, has just been
stricken from the roll of vessels in act
ive service. The Warrior was launch
ed in 1S00 aud completed the next year.
She has a displacement of 9210 tons,
and ber iron armor is 4 inches thick.
An Awful Afterthought .
Young Mrs. Torkins teemed very
much wotried when her husband camo
home la the evening.
"What's the matter ?" he asked sym
pathetically.
"Oh, Charley, I'm so afraid Ie
made euumies. f
"Why, you haveu't done anything
to harm auybody or hurt their feelings,
have you?"
"Not inteutionaily. But you know
how likely we are to be misuuderstooj.
I'm afraid thow people who have
moved next door will never speak to
us again. And I'm so sorry. They
seemed like such nice people. They
sent the servant girl they brought with
them from Boston over here this moru
ing to borrow something."
"Well, they're just getting settled.
You ought to accommodate them in
any way you can."
"That's what I thought So when
the girl came over and asked our girl
to lend her a mop I told her to give her
the best mop is the house, and tf we
hadn't a good one to go around to the
store and buy a new one."
"That's right"
"But, Charley, have you heard them
ta'k ?"
"A little. They all broaden their 'a s'
a'ter the manner of Boston. It souuds
vry pretty and precise. I like to hea r
it"
"Yes. But it is so confusing. A mip
was such a funny thing for cultivated
people like them to ask fur. I shouldn't
be a bit surprised if they were readiDg
some war news and what they wanted
to borrow was a map, and oh, dear I
think maybe I'd better put on my
thing ar J go over right away and try
to explain." Washington Star.
Kind Over Matter.
"I suppose it was wrong," said a
w.-ll-kuown member of the Detroit b&r
with a grin, "but I couldn't afford t-
let the opportunity pass. My .vife has
become a couvert to the mind cure fad.
and for the Last mouth I have heard
nothing but the power of the mind
over matter. I said liit'e, hoj i:ig that
she would soou tire of it and drop it.
But I was soon doomed to disappoint
ment, for the longer she harped on it
thj worse she became.
"This morning she i- -overeil that a
Wtter pipe wad leaking, and she enl
at it wi!h that universal woman's tool,
a h iirpia, with the result that she only
made the hole larger and caus d a small
jet of water to be shot into the room.
Clapping a finger over the hole t stop
the flow of water, she filled lou.lly fur
me, aud when I appeared on the sceue
I look the situation in at a glance.
"What is the matter, my dear?" I
ask -id.'
"'There is a hole in the pipe!" she
ga-tped, 'g-t a plug while I hold the
waer back."
" 'There is no leak there if you will
o lly think so,' said I soothingly. 'Put
y ur miud ou it and reuK'Vt your flu-
"'John Henry 'she began, but at
that moment her finger slipped and a
jet of water hit her in the eye, and the
valu tb'.e remark that she was about to
make were Inst for all time.
'"John! she snapped, 'can't you see
that the wall paper will ba ruined if I
let go?'
" 'Well, my dear,' said I ignoring her
qu wtiou, "it is time I was going down
twn, besides I am afraid that if I re
nt tin here I may interfere with the
calm, reposeful working of your mind.
Convince yourself, my dear, that there
is no leak and remove your finger.'
With that I left her. I took the pre
caution, however, to send up a plumb
er; but from what I beard, when I left
I am afraid that her miud was far from
being in a peaceful mood." Detroit
Free Press.
A woman who resides in the Back
Bay district of Hot-ton hired an auto
mobile the other day and started out to
make a rnuud of calls. Presently she
noticed that not only was the vehicle
moving at an alarming rate, hut that
she had passed the address given to the
operator as the first stoppiug place.
The occupant of the cab thereupon
stuck her head out of the window and
called to the maa outside to stop, only
to be informed that he had lost control
of the machine aud would have to go
on until the power should le exhausted.
At the end of an hour and a half the
automobile cum to a ttop out in the
suburbs, thirteen miles from the start
ing place, and the operator went back
to Boston for assistance. The womau
returned on an electric car, and bad to
pay her own fare at that
In his. proclamation appointing Fri
day, April 13 (Good Friday), as a day
of fasting and prayer, Governor Louns
bury, of Connecticut, said that he did
so "in accordance with a custom insti
tuted by a generation which feared God
and kept his commandments."
. m a
Liverpool is the greatest foreign dis
tributing point for American applts,
and as many as 100,000 barrels of our
apples have been sold there iu one wet k
at remunerative prices. London, Glas
gow and Hu'.l also receive immense
cargoes of the American fruit
"I bad rheumatism so bad that I
was no good on earth. Wheeler's
Nerve Vitalizr cured me. Spread the
good news that every sufferer may
know its great value," so writes C. F.
Chambers, Atlanta, III.
Mrs. Ii. C. Flint, Stewart, 111., saj:
"Brant's Balsam is tlie best couh cure
I ever used." Warranted 2" cents.
For sale at German's Drug Store,
Berlin, Pa., and Mountalu fc Sou's
Drug Store, Couiluence, Pa.
One of the signs in the grocery store
annouueed: "Raspberry jam, 25c. the
jar." "Ah!" said Mrs. Newliwed,
"Isn't that dam jear?" "Beg par
don!" exclaimed the grocer. She tried
it again. "I said isu't that dam dear?"
Then she blushed vividly aud retired
iu confusion.
Professor Beat, of the United States
Department of Agriculture, calculates
tixat one species of sparrow (the trie
sparrow) destroys i7' tous of noxious
weed seeds in seven months in Iowa
alone.
"Talk about your Czars! Just think
of the amount of patronage he has to
distribute." "Yes, only don't say 'pay-trou-age.'
Iu New York it is called
'pat-rou-age,' with the accent ou tLe
Pt' "
"I-evyson is still wearing his sham
rock." "What! Levysou Wearing a
shamrock?" "Yes, the same old sham
rock his fake diamuud."
Half the ills that man is heir to come
from indigestion. Burdock Blood Bit
ters strengthens aud tones the stomach;
makes indigestion impossible.
"All men are bcru equal," quoted
the Socialist "Ob, I don't know," re
plied the Triiler; "some are boru a Lb
more wealth of hair than others."