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soiucinet. Pa.
S. U. OHii-fc-
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Buiueniel, P.
-iui?a;irBalcl ui Uisir akn wul
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Suiuexact, Piu
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.-'ilATIVE MUTL'AL FIEE
-s- -(J., Li.KL.lN, PA,
t 'x at unual cost by iiisur-
Kofi. ,yc 1UMire Xowa D1
F pr.j. wr:u. f,,r itiforniiUoo.
JA J. ZOUX,
Secretary.
"EL GLOBE,
'WiiJ 11 '"Jiijirtrrn wars
John Murray.
-i ana tm&almer.
4 GOOD HEARSE,
- fwjuiLjj to taiMnLa fara-
f . R. r.'U
!
- Pa.
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tie
VOL. XLVin. NO. 34.
I. Jame
Eeadaea
Powdcra.
ANY
HEADACHE
Will jield to the
soothing infiuences
of tht man-elor3
little remedy,
Dr. James
m Headache Powders
Act directly on the
nerves not to -stupefy
them, bat to
soothe and
strengthen them.
Absolutely harmless.
At all Emg Stores.
4 doses 10 cents.
Core WTjsre
faU.
THE-
First Monal Bant
Somerset, Penn'a
Capital, S5O.O0O.
Surplus, S44.000.
UNOIVDED
PROFITS
S5.000.
ocreciTs receive ima( iu
OuTl, MTttll x DIID
CCOurri o (CMIIITt. rin.CM,
tTOO OCLCRS. H3 OTHCHI OklClTC0
-DISCOUNTS DAIL.Y.
BOARD OF DIRECTORS.
CH. O. tv'L'I.L. K. H.TLL,
JAMi 1- t'Uf.rU. W. H. MILJ-t-K,
JOtLN E. WiIT. RObT. r. L" I .!
EDWARD W.TLL, : t PKpyiPEVT.
VAit-TIK HAY, : VICE PKhli ENT.
HAKVEY M. bfJixLEY, l.AgHIF.R.
Tfc fuarto and aernrtties of ttls ban a are
caivi piwtr-t"1 ;n a -riforat-J Cokli- Bca
SLAk Proof SArt. Tne only ai mauleaoa
laieiT borsijir-prwjf.
Jacob D Swank,
Watchmaker and Jerlr,
Next 3oor Wetf of Utheri" Church,
Somerset. - Pa
I Am flaw
prepared to supply tie public
with Clocks, Watchta, nd Jew
elry of all descriptions, as Cheap
aa the Cheapest.
REPAIRING i
SPECIALTY
All work guaranteed. Look at my
stock before mating yoar
purchases.
J. D. SWANK.
HEP'S NEW SHOE STORE!
HEN'S BOYS . WCHErS, 6IRLS' urf CHXOF.EI'S
SHOES, OXFORDS and SLIPPERS,
Black and Tan. Latest Styles an J Shapes
at lowest
CASH PRICES
AJjoining Mrs. A. H UtL South-east
corner of aqtiare.
SOMERSET. PA.
wJ1544 50 YEARS'
J-rf-Ht, EXPERIENCE
. a" - aa.m
V DCSIGWS
ScitntiHc JUr-tncaa
MM i Co 35isr-.Hew icrl
Get an Edacatlon
CEKTML STATE iofi.
IKK tu -
atrcx rtT. r4 (ej
KIMS.
l I P1r, WQSt 90fjT td.
i 4 pUT moat ef fectivel. f over
VJ-a fcsuve scene he thioa
thiosm
wurn caotllra.
"The light that licighleps ;
beaatv' charm. ihat;nesthe
finished touch to thi-dra'aics
room or dining roo:c, Uie
mellow glow ot f
VAX CANDLES
Sold in aU colors
to harmonize with any interior
hanifings or decoratioefc.
Slanotertorcd by
i
- I ra 1 1 a r. Li w - K
V V - .-i-V- .... f' T"'
Wtea He Karried.
The po.frDasttr smiled a little when
he pe.rd out the mail, but Luther
Wilkina did not notice. He was try
ing to remember hther it was a yeast
cake or a pound of cheese he was to get
at the store.
H went out of the post -office still
ponderiDg, and ended by forgetting
both article, his attention being di
verted by the sight of two boys play
ing martles on the sidewalk. This
was the first sign of spring Luther had
en, so it was no wonder his memory
pi yed him i&lge.
After he had gone home and eaten
hu-t supper he thought of the mail in
hU overcoat pocket. He trouht it to
the table and sat down to examine it.
There was the wet-kly county paper, a
poultry journal, an agricultural month
ly, and, lat of all, a letter.
'Well, dow," said Luther, picking
it up, "I wonder who's been writiDg to
me. I don't know when I've bad a
letter."
He looked at it eagerly, held it nearer
to Lis eyes, then farther ofT. He re
movtd hU glasses, and then polished
them in nervous haste. After replac
ing them on his nose he picked up the
letter again and scanned it narrowly,
then be looked over his glasses as if at
some person, and then said:
"I swumT'
He sank into a reverie, out of which
he roused him.elf with a start to study
the envelope with renewed interest.
"Mrs. Luther Wilkius," he said.
"Mrs. Luther Wilkics. And I an old
bachelor who never so much as hardly
thought of getting married! Mrs. Lu
ther Wilkins! Why, h re is she?
And who is she?"
"Well, I guees I'll see what's in it.'
He intierted the point of bis knife un
der the corner of the envelope flat;
then he hesitated.
"What business have I opening her
letters?" be aked himself. '"I never
did open other folks" letters, and I
guess I won't begin now." He rose to
his f.et, and, carrying it to the mantel
piece, lr-aDed it up agains' t" e clock.
He settled himself to his pa,.-!., but
thoughts of Mrs. Luther Wilkins kept
intruding on what he was reading
about patent nest-boxes, and under
draining, and the news cf the Tillage.
Thereafter, during all his waking
hours, Mrs. Luther Wilkins was often
in his thoughts. He wonder-d what
she was like, and be thought of the
kiud of a woman be would wish her to
be, and enjoyed biouelf very much in
imagining how it would seem to have
her meet him at the door when he
ciue in from the fields, and how nice
it would be liot to have to get his own
meals.
At first he wa a little cynical and
told himself that the imagining was
much more satisfactory than the real-
ity would be. but after aw Sue be
changed his mind, and would sigh
heavily when he came into bis lone
some house.
The letter by the clock, too, began to
trouble him. He had a devouring cu
riosity to see what wa. ia it; and be
sides it did not seem right to keep it so
long before delivering iL
One evening in June Luther put on
his best clothes and walked three miles
to see an old schoolmate who had an
unmarried cou-ia living with him. It
seemed to him that Eliza Elliott fitted
in exactly with his idea of Mrs. Luther
Wilkins.
He came home quit early, very much
disappointed. Eliza wouldn't do at alL
He worked doggedly for a month,
trying bard not zo thick of the disqui
eting subjL It was no use, and tow
ail the eud of July it was observed
t lat Luther was becoming very neigh,
body. He spent eveniogs at different
neighbors' houses, he accepted invita
tions to tea, he went to church regu
larly and to all the Sunday-school pic
nics. And still he could not find a
suitable owner for the letter.
"I must be terribly fussy," be si g bed.
"I've got acquainted with about all the
women in town; they're nice women.
every one of them, but someh w they
don't suit me. I guess I'll have to give
up beat."
It was one eo!d, raw day in early
November that Luther sat at a window
m iking clumsy attempts at mending a
piir of very ragged socks. Happening
to glance acrow the street be saw a
woman out in Hammond's yard. She
w s very buy rakiug up the fallen au
tumn leaves.
"Letitia Hammond," Luther com
minted. "Bill Hammond's sister. We
doVt see much of her lately, bhe
don't even go to church; there's so
many of Bill's children to look after,
and Bill's wife U so took up with her
clu'js and thiag1. It's hard on Leti
tia, but she never Cnds a word of Liult."
fhe sock be wa mending fell to the
floor, and the w joden egg inside tt
stra -k with sjch a loud bang that the
Cat started io his sleep. Luther did
no', rotice. He was standing at the
windo v staring out.
'That is bert which Iieth nearest,' "
he said, solemnly. "What a fool I
bavi tieen."
He found l'i hat and left the house.
aiuiot riiuriing across the mail.
t t te irou raku away from Letiti
gently. "Trial's &h hard work for a
little thing like you," be said.
Ltitia's blue eyes were full of won-
df, but she yi-lded the rake meekly.
"You'd heller g- Into the hous?, too,"
Aid Lu:fer. "It's coid out here."
o one had been thoughtful of her
before far a long time, and Latma
couldn't uudritaud it- Wnen Lather
returned tne rike sae asked hiai to let
her do something f r him.
He carried her his best pair of socks.
She was horrid i at their condition,
and mended them lii a very artistic
manner.
Luther looked at them in wonder and
reverenct "I'll never wear "em," he
said, when be was at hom again. "I
wouldn't have let her do it, only I
knew It would make her feel better,
and it gave me a chance to see her, ton."
Hi found that it was an easy matter
o invent eXL-u for seeing her, and
fl ia!iy, to ne time in the winter, he
asked her, la fear and trembling, if she
would be Mrs. Luther Wilkins.
At first she tboaght it would not be
runt toabaadou her brother'achildren,
but her scruples melted away before the I
Somerset
SOMERSET, PA.,
warmth of his eloquence. Then
confessed that she was tired.
she !
"It is so long that I have had to take
eare of other folks, and it will seem
like heaven to have some one to take
care of me."
So it happened that in a little less
than a year the letter to Mrs. Lutber
Wilkins w&s given to its rightful owner.
"Circumstances over which I had no
control have prevented you from get
ting it before," Luther said.
"Why, it's nothing but an adverti.e
men"t of some new preparation of eere
aLt," she said, when she opened iL,
Lsther loc ked blank.
"I see how it is," she said, after a
moment's thought They sent to the
grocers for lists of their customers, and
then sent these circulars to their wives."
"Liet's keep it," said Luther, softly.
"If it hadn't been for that"
"Yes, we'll keep it," said Letitia,
blushing. Susan Brown Robbies In
Boston Globe.
A Laxyer on Great Fortaaei.
From tkt Pbllade'pbia North American.
President Logan, of the State Bar
Association of New York, advocates
the placing of a limitation upon inher
itance. "A great deal," he ays, "culd
be done for the amelioration of social
conditions, the betterment of the ma.ses
of the people, and the enhancement of
civilization with the money which
would come into the treasury if the
State were the heir of the surplus of
every man's fortune above f 10,000,000."
There are several objections to this
scheme. One is that the learned and
communistic Mr. Logan begins at tbe
w rong end. If large fortunes are hurt
ful to thecommuuity, prevention is to
be preferred to confiscation, both on the
ground of morality and of practicabil
ity. Perhaps Mr. Logan regards Mr.
Rockefeller's eolil pile with s;ecial
diz-favor. Would it not be better to de
prive the Standard Oil company of the
monopoly which it maintains, largely
through criminal coi! union with rail
roads that grant special privileges, than
to take for tb frtate all above $10,000,
000 of Mr. Rockefeller's pile when he
dies? Wherever a great fortune is the
result of monopoly the cure for it is to
strike at the root, not at the fruit.
Mr. Logan may be an able lawyer,
but he surely is not a gentleman en
dowed with capacity for thinking. The
law which he imagines would fill the
treasury and abate great fortunes would
merely induce the possessors of tbe for
tunes to evade the confiscating tax by
disponing of their wealth to their heirs,
or otherwise, before death. TheAstors
and Vanderbilts would not be stopped
by such a statute, any mora than they
are by the constitutional inhibition '.f
primogeniture and entail, from consti
tuting the eldest sou the representative
of the family and the custodian of the
bulk of the family wealth from genera
tion to generation.
Si long as social conditions remain as
they are we shall have gigantic for
tunes. And since the people have the
power at the ballot-box to alter these
conditions at will, it is to be presumed
that the people prefer them to continue
rather than to try the plans of the so
cialist, tbe singie-taxers, and other re
formers who aim at making excessive
accumulation by the few impossible.
Mr. Logan's plan contemplates rob
bery, sim ply.
On the Wrong Tack.
In the town of Adams, Mass , during
the recent recruiting for the volunteer
regiments for the Philippines, Corpo
ral Couway was sitting iu charge of the
lol recruiting office. From time im
memorial the recruiting officer bad
bein notoriously "all things to all
men," and Corporal Conway was quite
willing to give to promising recruits as
favorable an account of the service as
he could conscientiously.
The recruits were for he most part
volunteers from patriotism or for the
love of adventure. Therefore, when a
tail, stolid, sturdy-looking you ok farm
er presented himself, the corporal was
not surprid to bear him a.-k :
"Say, mister, are you 9ure there's go
icg to be lots o' fighlin' out there r'
'"Lots of it sure thing," answered
the corporal; and he believed it.
"tioin' to have the 'leaden hail lhat
tbe newspapers talk about, au' mar ch
in' up to the canuon's mouth, an' that
'ere kind o' thing?"
"Weil, something a good deal like it,
I fancy," said the corporal.
"Buckets o' blood flowin' oa the
tented field, I suppose?"
"I guess you'll be able to s se all the
bkxxlihed you want," answered the
corporal, encouragingly.
"Wal," &aid the young farmer, "it's
just this way. I'd kind o' like to go to
war, but I live over here in Savoy Sa
voy, you know. Savoy's a fine place.
I aiu't never seen any biooUhed there,
'eeptia' when you cut your finger, or
somethin like that. Savoy's a nice
town, an' I guess, come to think about
it, I'll stay right there! Savoy's good
enough f-r ineT" He wett away, and
the recruiting officer was a war- that
for once he bad made a mLetak? in his
estimate of human nature. Youth's
Companion.
A Bluff for a Coostable.
Coast able Shinkel was nie'y bluffed
by a Soutn Chester politician, whom
he proposed to evict from a bouse to
make room for another tenanL Shink
el met the m?.u at the door, and was
about to enter, when the tenant told
him that on account of a case of scarlet
fever in the bouse he could not be al
lowed in.
Shinkel backed off, but later met the
doctor supposed to hav chargofthe
case and asked him about iL Then he
learned that the tenant had put op a
bold bluff. He returned to th house
as mad as a hornet and carried out tbe
eviction proceedings.
I want to let the people whosuff-r
from rheumatism and sciatica knew
that Chamberlain's Pin Bxlm relieved
me after a number of other m-dicines
and a doctor had fadeL It is tbe best
liniment I have ever known of. D. A.
Doggen, Alpharetta, Ga. Thousands
have been cured of rheumatism by tnis
remedy. One application relieves the
pain. For sale by all druggist.
ESTuBIISHElD 1827.
WEDNESDAY. JANUARY 31. 3900.
Tie English. Granting Habit.
An observant philosopher, who baa
lately teen devoting considerable at
tention to tbe study of modern man
ners, has been much struck wl'h the
habit of grunting and pseudo-coughing
which is growing among both sexes
and threatens to become a public nui
sance wherever two or three men or
women are gathered together. When
nobody baa aoy thing to say some on
beirina an affVcted cough, which ia
merely the indication of a mind with
nothing in it, or makes a gutters
grant, to prove that its author is still
alive.
The correspondent continues : "If
people do not exercise a little self
restraint and check tcis pernicious
habit we shall soon be called a nation
of snorters and grunlers. On Sunday
last I was at church, and immediately
behind me sat a woman with her
young children, and during the ser
mon, to which I was listening inteatly,
my thoughts were distracted by the
woman behind me constantly grunting
possibly the doctrine hit her too
hard. Her children followed suit.
When ssked cn the way home why
they grunted, the elder of the young
sters replied, 'Mummy grunts, so do I.'
Recently I was traveling in a first
class railway carriage wfth five other
men. The one in the far corner back
seat set up his peculiar grunL the man
opposite followed, then tbe man next
to me la the centre, and then the man
opposite him, and then the man op
pesite me, and they ail seemed to take
it up again in their turn, and to think,
much more to read, was out of the
question, and I felt inclined to jump
out of the carriage, but as we were in
a Southwestern, which is famous for
the pace it travels, this was quite out
of the question, and I bad to endure
tbe persecution until the first stoppage,
when I left the occupants to grunt at
each other to their hearts' content."
Loudon Telegraph.
Bed 5oe Caused bj Veil.
Few things, says tbe Philadelphia
Medical Journal, are more annoying to
a sensitive woman than per .intent red
ness of the tip of the nose. This ery
throrhiua, as we may call it, is particu
larly frtquent among women with a
delicate complexion, and is not often
seen among the peasantry. A Berlin
physician. Dr. Rosen bach, believes that
be has fathomed the cause of tbe con
dition, and is convinced thai, the veil
is responsible. He found that the red
oess was most marked where the veil
pr-s-ed most clo-iely against the nose,
and that when the wearing of tbe veil
was abandoned the condition, in a ma
jority of instances, disappeared. Al
though veils are very soft to the touch,
the threads soon become rough with
use, and are then capable of exerting a
decided irritation upon the sensitive
skiu of tbe nose and cheek, against
which the veil rubs. The evaporation
from the nose is apt to moisten the veil,
especially in winter, and then the veil
acts almost like a inoit compress. The
shape of the nose Is also slightly alter
ed by the veil. The nose is depressed,
flattened, and, in Dr. Rjsenbach's opin
ion, tends to lise its graceful form.
With time this alteration becomes per
manent. Knew tie Voies.
A dear old lady who lived up on
Marshall street died suddenly, the
other day. Her death was completely
unexpected in fact, the evening before
she died she had been persuaded to
speak into tbe receiver of a phonograph
owued by her sou-in-law. It turned
out to be a remarkably good record, for
the old lady had a peculiarly shrill
voice, and as she sang her favorite
hymn into the phonograph the repro
duction was perfet-L
"Now, there is a colored girl in the
family who possesses all the supersti
tions of her race. A couple of days
after the funeral she was dusting the
furniture iu the sitting room when she
inadvertently turned the switch that
started the phonograph. As luck
would have it, the cylinder was the one
containing the old lady's bymu, and it
rang out with startling distinctness.
The colored girl stood rooted to the
spot, ga-ping for breath. It was fully
a minute before she quite recovered her
faculties, and then, with a yell of "Fob,
df good Lawd's Hike! Miss 'Liu's
corns back!' she ran down stairs. No
am unt of explaining could convince
her that there was nothing supernatur
al about it, so she took her clothes and
went. Philadelphia Record.
Hugging a Store.
The young man 'i taken off bis
c at and bang b' n it carefully oa the
hall rack. Coming into tbe parlor, he
wifit to the fire and held his bands out
to warm them. The girl waited for
him to speak, but it was evident that
he was a bashful young man, and
knew not bow to begin the conversa
tion, Finally he said:
"It was very, very cold last nighL I
stayed at home and hugged the stove
ail the evening."
The girl turned her great, brown eyes
toward him, and said, with just a tinge
of ait in ber voice:
'-I don't see any use in hugging a
stove "
It didn't require a house to fill ou
the young man, even if be was bash
ful, and he promptly resolved not to
hug any more stoves. Baltimore News.
Hirinj a Great Sua oa Chaaber
laia'tCoagb. Remedy.
Manager Martin, of the Pierson drug
store, informs as that he is having a
great run on Chamberlain's Cough
Remedy. He sells live bottles of that
medicine to one of any other kind, and
it gives great satisfaction. In these
days of la grippe there U nothing like
Chamberlain's Cough Remedy to stop
tbe trough, heal up the sore throat and
lungs and give relief within a very
short time. Tbe sales are growing,
and ail who try it are pleased with its
prompt action. South Chicago Daily
CalumeL For sale by all druggists.
It would be a sorry world if God Had
left us out of his plana, the way we
leae him out of ours.
"Womaa's Century.
In 1S00 women were not permi.ted
in any country to cootrcl their property
nor will it away at death ; to all in
tents and purposes they did not own
it, says the Pittsburg PosL Tbe legal
existence of the wife was so merited in
that of ber husband thai sh4 was said
to be "dec.: in law." Not oaly did be
control her property, collect and use
her wages, select the food and clothing
for herself and children, but to a very
large extent he controlled her "freedom
of thought, speech and action." If
she disagreed with him, or in any way
offended him, be possessed the legal
rUht, upheld by public opinion, to
punish her, tbe courts interfering only
when the chastisement exceeded the
popular idea of severity. All posses
sions passed into the hands of the hus
band at marr'age. If a married wom
an worked for wages she could not
legally collect them, as they belonged
to her husband. She could not make
a will, sue or be sued.
Few occupations beyond domestic
service were open to women. No col
lege In the world admitted women,
and th) belief was universal that she
was not capable of the highest
branches of learoiog. Public schools
were in many places closed to women.
Elementary branches of education
the three It's were deemed all-sufficient
for ber. They were forbidden to
speak or pray in the churches. The
general trend of masculine thought
was lhat it was unwomanly she should
hold or advance opinions on serious
questions, or seek independence
through natural or acquired gifts.
Boy Eailroad Xajnate.
The election of a boy 2 years of age
as vice president of a i ail road at a sal
ary of $-VJ0U is the somewhat curious
commercial development reported from
Atlanta, Ga., oays the New York Com
merciaL The youthful railroad "mag
nate" is Cornelius J. Simmons, Jr.,
whose father is president of the Collins
Park and Belt Line Railroad, a trolley
line. The boy was nominated for the
place by his fond father, and his elec
tion followed by a unanimous vote.
The inference is that tbe elder Sim
mons owns the railroad, and, being the
whole thing, could elect an infant at
the breast as vice president, secretary
or treasurer, if be so desired. But in
asmuch as almost any old kind of a
railroad has certain responsibilities to
tbe public, it would seem that this
family business might very well stop
somewhere near the cradle. We have
the theory of "diviiie right" applied to
beings, but that doesn't exactly mean
trolly kings.
Folly Deserved a Cracker.
A Philadelphia daily relates the
story of a parrot that protected her
owner's home from burglars, who had
entered through outj of tbe front parlor
windows. They crept through the
hall room past the bird and began jim
mying open the sideboard ia the dining-room
where the silver was kepL
One of tbe other men gathered up the
costly Turkish rugs on the floor, and
another was taking down the curtains
when Pclly spoke up.
"Is that you, Frank?" she queried.
The burglars stopped as if they had
been shot. Polly repeated the ques
tion in a louder and more imperative
key. The noise of the parnt awak ;a
ed her master, Mr. Fisher. He grasped
a revolver, whica he had b-Might only
m few days before, and kept under his
pillow, and made fur the bead of the
stairs. He pressed tbe electric button
on the wail and lit the lights in tDe
hall room, when he saw three men
struggling to open the front door. He
promptly opened fire, but thty suc
ceeded in getting away. Mr. Fisher
then went down stairs, where he found
tbe parrot ia her cogs under tbe piano.
Theesgj was upset, but the bird was
uninjured. Tbe owner placed her
right side up on the piano, when she
lifted her frightened hed from under
ber wing and aked;
"Is that you, Frank?"
Fainted Paragraphs.
The art of making work pay is a
work of art
The self-made man always venerates
his creator. '
Perfect men belong to an order of
things not yet in effect.
Oil and water will not mix. Neither
will love and philosophy.
Whea the landlord raises the rent
the tenant must raise it also or get ouL
Lexicographers think favorably of
changing the word politician to politi
cian. The unexpected happens occasional
ly, but not so often as the ex pec ted fails
to happen.
Tne man who is the architect of his
own character often puts up a job no
other man will take off his nana.
Even the engagement ring is the out
come of a trust, and tbe wedding ring
is the natural result of a combination.
Time may be money, but tbe aver
age man would rather give you a lot of
his time than lead you a little of his
money.
' XisUkes the Effic:
Caaje.'
for the
That is what the person does who
tries to cure rheumatism or any other
disease by relieving the symptoms.
Hood's Sarsaparilla attacks the cause
of these diseases. It neutralizes the
acid in tbe blood and thus permanent
ly eures rheumatism. It tones and
strengthens the stomach, restores its
natural digesting fluids and permanent
ly cures dyspepsia.
Hood's Pills cure constipation. Price
5 cents.
"Have you a fine law practice, Crib
ley?" "I should say so. If it were much
finer there wouldn't be anything left of
it."
"Boston is noted for her crooked
streets," said the Chicago man.
Great Scott T' retorted bis Hub
cosin, who had been held up three
times, "there are more crooked streets
in Chicago than Boston ever dreamed
of."
era
Tha Old Kaa Hal Chained.
A Lancaster eoucty man once came
to a Philadelphia portrait painter with
a request that be paint a picture of bis
father.
"Very well," said the artist; "have
th old gentleman come ia the next
time he comes to town, and I will give
him a sitting."
The man replied: "II j gan't do dot;
he Is dait."
"Oh, welt, then, you have a photo
graph of him?"
"No; I d u't got no f jttograf of him
eider."
"Well, how do you expect me to
paint the portrait of your father when
I cannot see him and have nothing to
give me an idea of his appearance?"
"Veil," he replied, "I dinked maybe
of I dole you ab-ut him you cau baint
him from dot."
"Ail right," said the artist, "describe
him."
"Veil, my fadJer was not so dall
on 1 not so short; he vas not fat ui.d
not so din." And the hoaest fella
proceeded to describe his father as he
recalled him.
Toe artist undertook to punt the
picture, and ia due course it wn com
pleted and the Lancaster county man
comes in to vie the results of the
artist's efforts.
As the canvas U disclosed hegizs
long and reverently upon the picture
of his departed par eat. Then he feel
ingly rejiarks:
"Yah, d t is mine fodler! Mine fod
der vat I loafed so much! But ach
himm d fodder, how you haf changed!"
Philadelphia Times.
A Caalid Chill.
I weut to see a woman the day bef
yesterday who has a small daughter.
My soul loves that child. She was in
th rooui when I come in, and her
mother endeavored by coax and LrUe
and overt threat to induce ber fc
speak to ma. Tae child paid not the
slightest attention, but weut on hap
pily looking at the picture- ia her
picture book. The mH&er gveupiu
despair.
"I'm so sorry she won't speak to peo
ple," she said with a sigh, "but, you
know, she's so shy."
Tbe child looked up with a candid
sweetness that went straight to my
heart.
"I ain't shy," said she, cheerfully,
"I'm rude." Washington Poet.
A Farmer'! Discovery.
Ever since last September Eugen
Dooiittle. a farmer living at Rockwell'
Mills, in this county, has been driving
about in a wagon with $-,000 under the
eat cushions, says a correspondent at
Norwich, N. Y.
The wagon is a two-seated one, and
Mr. Dooiittle was giving it a thorough
cleaning, preparatory to taking bis
family for a drive. Ashe took up th
cushions on tbe back seat be saw a
long wallet under them. It eintaiued
a ten-dollar gold piece and $:l,00O in
securities.
The name of the owner was on a
card in the pocketbook, and the honest
farmer returned the property immedi
ately. It hail probably been stolen by
a pickpocket at the county fair iu
Norwich in September, and hidden
under tbe cushions.
Golf Dialect.
In the woman's golf championship)
games in Philadelphia this week w
are told that "Mrs. Fox selaffed her
brassey second, the ball rolling down
the hill to a bad lie," And then we
are informed that her opponent "ap
proached dead on the like, but mL-e ta
ble putting by Miss Hoyt resuked in a
halved hole 7 to 7. They drove well
from the fifteenth tee and were oa the
edge of the green on their third. Miss
Hoyt was stymied on her putt and
Mrs. Fox won the hole, making the
latter dormie 3." And jet there are
persons in this country who strenuou-
ly object to th? dialect story, but who
countenance the ever-growing ppj
larity of golf! Lewistou JouruaL
Hia Capacity Was Limited.
An old farmer who was in tbe habit
of ea'ing what wa sec before him.
asking no questions, dropped into a
Memphis cafe for dinner. The waittr
gave him the menu card and explain
ed to the old gentleman that it was the
list of dishes tbe cafe served for dinner
that day. Accordingly he began at,
the top of tbe bill of fare and ordered
each thing in turn until he bad cover
ed about one-third of iL The prospect
of what was still before him was too
overpowering, yet there were some
things at the end that t e wanted ti
try. He called tbe waiur and confi
dentially marking off th spaces on the
card with bis index finger, said:
"Look here; I'veet from thar to thar.
Can I skip f.-nut thar to thiaad eat oa
to the bottom?" Memph's Scimetar.
It has been demonstrated repeat'y ia
every state ia the Union ant in many
foreign countries that Chamberlain's
Cough Remedy is a certain preventive
and cure for eroupt It has become the
universal remedy for that disease. M.
V. Fisher of Liberty, W. V., only re
peats what has been said around the
globe when he writes: "I have used
Chamberlain's Cough Remedy in my
family for several years and always
with perfect suecesst We believe that
it is not only, tbe best e-h remedy,
but that It Is a sure cure for croup. It
has saved the lives of our children a
number of times." Thi remedy is for
sale by all druggists.
CnjtitatiojaL
"Nice lot of citizens we are getting
ia these sew islands," bowled the
anti-eipansiouisL
"What's the matter now?' asked
tbe optimist.
"Here I see tbe Sultan of Sulu has
been on a drunk and flogged three of
his wives alrucst to death.''
"That jurtt shows he is taking kindly
to American institutions.''
"Why, Low do you make that out ?"
aked the anti-expaniioList.
"Don't you know that it is one of
the fundamental
principles cf tn:s
country that a king full always beu. j pure blood. Taes aad in vg-.rates the ! Never caa tell what momeut' au acci
three queens." Indiana poUa JouruaL I w hole sy;em. ' fcat to happen.
1
1
WHOLE NO. 2531.
PAEX 5EW3 ASD VIEWS.
Frota th. Phiiade'phia R.-1.
A hole in the granary, through
which the grain would be lost, would
cot be allowed to exist very long after
its discovery. A bole in tbe stable,
through which the cold air enters and
chills tbe animals, causes a lose of
grain just as surely as tbe bole la the
granary, as more fixni will be required
to a.-wUt the animals in maintaining
warmth. It is the things that are un
observed which sometimes cause loss.
When the flow of milk is reduced, or
tbe animals do not make gain propor
tionately to the food allowed, there is
always a cause and it should be sought.
It is claimed that mutton at five
cents per pound wi l pay better than
wool at 3-j cents. Such claim depends
upon conditions. A gxl Slerino will
pay more ia wool thaa can be derived
from common sheep, while a breed of
mutton sheep will give a greater profit
thau can be derived from sbeep that
are not bred with a a otject to be at
tained. Farmers who keep sheep also
make a pn tit iu the manure and in the
utilization of tne waste materials con
sumed, but sheep require feeding as
well as other stock, and should not be
expected to seek their food entirely at
any season of the year.
Some of the best farms in Pennsyl
vania Lave been brought to the higLeit
degree of fertility by the u-e of elor,
lime and manure. The farmers who
have accomplished such results have
aimed to $ave every pound of manure,
and also to preserve it iu the best man
ner. Lime is used extensively by tboee
who know that lime is an essentia-
ingredient of plant?, and clover en
riches the soil by promoting the si:pply
of nitn-gen. " -
When draining with !i!eit is a mis
take to p!a-e the tiles too near the xir
face. When they are but eighutn
inches or two feet undt-r ground tilt
roots cf gnj-s and other crcps will oou
obstruct them. TUey should be placed
live or MX feet under ground, wii;ch
not otily redacts the water .evel, but
permits of greater room for the feeding
of plants. Drain tile shouid I put
d o n in a manu- r so as to have no dif
ficulty after the aork is done, as the
ct cf repairing tr rearranging the
tiles is greaL It pys to use tiies oa
a.I wet land, as the draining of a field
rt duces the water level and allows of
the growing of crops that will not
thrive on the field uiii? it ii drained.
The fruit grower who expects to bave
fair crops of fruit must begin with the
u.- of insecticides eariy. He must not
dlay too late into the spring, as the
fir;,t spraviug is sometimes the most
Luportaut of 11 Paris green will not
destroy the enemies ttiat live on sap
nor will kerene injure those that feed
u,jou the leaves. Iu using remedies,
tiert fore, it must be doue with an ob
ject ia view and with a knowledge cf
tie hobLsof the parasite or insect to be
CestroieiL
It takes time for manure to show full
effect ia the soiL am but little benefit
may be noticed the first year, but grad
ually the materials will decompose aud
return to the soil the original elements
derived therefrom. Some farmers are
occosienaily disappointed with the uxe
of manure, but the benefits from ma
nure the first year depend largely upon
its condition when applied to the soiL
Every former knows that when a
miid speil of weather occurs in winter
the Lens begin to lay, and then cease
when the temperature is low.- This
fact dt-monstrate4 that warmth has
much influence ou laying, and that
warm quarters are essential to egg pro
duction. Wheu the hens can go on
the fie'.d-t in the spring and forage they
secure a large arnou it of insect fm.L
During th winter a suo-itit'i'e for such
foods may be allowed ia the form of cut
bone, ground m 'at, fresh, meat, and a
change of grains. Corn and whent
make excellent foods during cold weath
er, but a variety of foxls must be given
i ia rdr to have the hens produce egk's.
j . i Land that was plowed Ia?t fall will
i eause considerable trouble thisspringif
it is not properly turned over that i.,
if tbe soil was not eiwupletely inverted.
It should le plowed again ia the spring
and tli-n worked weli with a disc rrar
row. Tbe disc barrow should be used
aiaia just before the eora is planted.
Tuless the gas- has been destroyed
there will be sullicient growth oa some
fields to irjure the young efn. The
mode of reducing sod land is to plow
the land in July and seed it to Hunga
rian grass, which wiil kill out the nat
ural grass. The field caa thee be plow
d ia October, or sooner, if preferred.
Ta3tig!:t He Vxs at Horse.
"I want a marriage license,' he said
to '.be clerk, boldly.
His name and her name and both
t heir ag- s were asked. He gave them
to the clerk in a loud, winter-weather
Viice and looke 1 around tbe room to
sre how much attention he had attract
ed. "H jw much ?' be a-ked.
The price of the bit of paper was
given to him.
He took it in his Land. He looked
it over. Thea he asked, "Where's the
coupa ?"'
"Wnat coupon?'' queried the clerk,
wouderingly.
"The divorce coupon, answered the
oi in.
Tne clerk gasped. "The idea!" he
exdaimcL "Who ever heard of such
a thing? Say, Mister, where are you
from?"
"Dakota'
To accommodate those who are par
tial to the use of atomizers ia applying
liquids into the nasal passages for ca
tarrhal trouble, the proprietors pre
pare E'y's Liquid Cream Balm. Price
iucl ading the spraying tube is 7 Cents.
Druggists cr by maiL The liquid no
boditsthe medicinal properties of the
solid preparation. Cream Bdm is
quickly aoorbed by the rueoibrane
and does not dry up the secretions but
changes them to a natural and b-alcay
character.
Sh, N. Y.
Ely Brothers', 00 Warren
j Ca't "v perfect health without pure
r blood. Burdock ill.! BiUers make
UP HEAD CN A ELUriDER.
Ei-.mm - Win C air sr. 4m
Ocn Frmwm m i-.it I Trachcr.
"The c!u la Lat: a will now recite."
said the Latin teacher at one of th
city t'Ii schools th other iliy.
Tbe members f the elas in La:. a.
consisting of oil or more bri'.it Uwi-iaif.
iriris. wilii :l.ree or four boys, canie
forward un.l took their place. All
raored alcc smoothly until the dec
lination of the noun "donam" was la
order. aal taere was trocble. It was
the ablative that caused t3e trouble.
for tile benefit of those not acquainted
with the mysteries of Lat'.a it may b
ment'oaed rv'ut here that the ablative
U Mono.'" and the pronunciation is the
same as if one should say "don't
know." slurring the two words, as ia so
frequently done, to "don know."
"Miss Jones." said the teacher to
the head of the clas, 'what Is th
ablative of 'donam
Visa Jones jrav her rersloa and
was told to sit down. The que-jtica ta
torn went down the entire lenTh of
the class, all failing, until It reached
the last, a boy who had a reputation
for baseball and footbalL but ncae for
scholarship.
"WelL Percy, the ablative of do
cnraT " astced the teacher.
Percy scratched his head and dupair
ln!y looked at his gnaniag class
mates. Oon know." he finally blnrted oat.
"Itii;!it. said the teacher; "go up
head."
And thpo the c!a.s broke out Into a
lanza that cost each nieabcr tea
ej.-H bi:t oone peached on Percy,
and the teacher to this day cannot un
derstand what there is so ccmit-al ia
the ablative of "doaura." Cbicasf la
ter Occaa.
LIGHTS FOR BIRDS' NESTS.
Carlo.. Habit. Pmrt i--l Iw
lb. Vt .rld f Ssaiilun.
Many birds suspend their nests frota
the branches of trew. one tit the most
ccrioas Bests of that kind lein that
of the baya bird of Inoia. It ia buc
frota the branch, with it opnias at
the bottom, an.l han?s like aa inverted
bottle meenre frctu the apprxicti of
tree snakes and other repiiles. The
cost curio-? tiiin about the baya,
bird is tha. it Is said to lisht up its
j rest It stick. r;; ureases c:i its s:ovs
w ita clay or soft rauL Then; scvtiis to
te little tlonbt uf the- fuct.
Dr. Bi-'-.-haana says: "At niht each
of the liaH'atious Is limited u; by a
flredy stack ia the t-p with a pie-e of
clay. The n t rcus.sts r,f two rvom:.
Societies tLerv are three or four !".r
fiie. and tin ir lUiz in the little cells
dazzles tLe eyes uf the bars, which of
ten t!t-rri;y the yoita - cf these birds. "
rVrh.Tps ot'iT asiui.iis arc -arvd o'T
t y the baya bird's electric l:st:t. sin-e
a writer !n Nature records this curi
ous o! servatii'ii: "I have tieen i:;fur?:i:'d
a safe authurity that tbe la ban Ut
tle bi:-l protects Lis C;st at n''.it by
stlckii several of the- jilow iwtic.4
aroun.I th entrance ty cans cf clay,
and ,c!y a few i'.ays ba U aa Intiruatw
fri. r.d of n?y Oiva was watching three
rats on a r-mf rafter of bungalow.
W hea a Io-.v fly Ioi!.eI very close f
them, the ru immediately scampered
orT." Vdr I'unib Aain.iili
Broke Co..ai4Bli.
The brilliant youni prea her. trVa
he malii- Lis paroch'al calls, endeav
ors to cultivate an acquaintance witlx
the develypaier.t of the younger minds,
thus aft-.-r a fa-hioa Le-ji:c.g taj- upwu
Lis Sunday school ti-achvrs.
The ether aftereoi-n. while he was
waiting ia the ib-awia nmtu of a beau
tiful Cass avenue residence for the de
layed a-eH-sracce cf Elsie's nsatan.;.
he was catenated by the little daus
t?r herself. Taking her epe-a his Is.,
he heaau a review of the church les
sons that had teen si re a to the littli
raal I of Z.
"X'an you tell rae. Eisie. how taaay
coraiiiauilrjects there are?"
"Yes. sir: seven or eiht."
"Oh. uo. dear; there are tea.
"Yes. I kao-x there used to be. but I
heard papa ted raarniaa yesterday that
you tad hro' en two or three of thero
at least, aud tl.at would leave oz'y
sevea or eiht. you kcow." Detroit
Free ITesa.
ftramc Cmk f Fate.
Say3 the Portland i )rvston's: it is
the belief cf sn:u- historiaas that the
name "Oren Is Arabia ia disguise,
that it wa jrlveu to this country by
the early SfpuuNh voyavrrrs aad that
Aaierii-an explorer so interpreted the
wunl given them by the ludians. The
theory U at h ast plausible aad indi
cates a str.ta:w freak of fate. The
caaie Spaia proudly brought to this
distant ci a -t ri turned to the West la
dies CIO yearn later to destroy tue
power of sjpaia oa the seas! Littlu
thought I'e Fuca whea he sighted this
coast in tT: that some tlay it would
build a warsh'p which, under the came
of Araion. or O.vsen. would be fore
xost in the battle that marked the end
of Spain's deminioo iu the new world."
Pvenliaritr Saakea.
A snake tamer who had walsed a
srr-ct to follow tia around the house
aad even out cf dxes happened one
day to take it with hia to a Strang
place. The snake, unused to the local
ity, suddenly seemed to forget all hi
traiain? and. escaping Into the boshes,
resisted capture with bites and every
Indication of wiidness. When caught.
It ct once resumed its .tarae cabita.
This tendency to become Wild lrame
dhitely np'.'a ohtuiuins their frsedcra
and t ) 2-ra:n- become tame when caasht
U sai l to be a peculiarity cf snakes.
Ne?r Yor's Tribune.
Tbe PrwNablr Rea.ow.
Th? Ciercyma iprou Ilyi People ar9
loath to leave rar ch'inh. V.'hr. ?ter
services. It Is fully Ii mfnut--. tcfure
the edifice i3 emptied!
The Sian-'r-l dun't wonder r:: th.-.l.
Some p?cple ere very hnrJ: ta trrat.l
-t:c3hdva Life.
"I had nervous prostra:iec: don't be
lieve any one evrha l it wer-e and
lived. Wheeler" N-rve Vi."ai;er iifh d
iae out r.f bed and pat me .a my fe--r.
I never a-or bear I cf its equal." so
writ s Thoaiis Caahore, N 2 potter,
Mich.
A- L. Terry!!, Devereaur, Mich.,
writes: "P.rant's Ilalsam cured my i:"e
cf chronic Asthma." Worrsr.red to
cure everybody ceuU. !' al- m
Gorman's Dru Store. Berlin, Pa., and
MouaLuu 4 Sot's Drug Store, Con
fluence, Po.
A: tie Ear.
A hush tills upoa the court.
,-D yo-i know th prisoner at the
bar?" asks the counsel.
"When I've got the price I know ev
erybody at the bar," protests the Colo
nel, from the witness stand, with dig
nity. The Colonel, understand, employs
the Kentucky dialect of fiction, which
he has learned to speak with consider
able fluency. Detroit JournaL
la the Saart Sat.
Mr. Jones If the clergy maa hesi
tated, why dida't ynu get a civil mag
Ut rate to marry yoa ?
Mrs. Brawn Oh. I could't think cf
; ic! , It's bad enough for a person of a
! deeply religious nature to Lave to te
divorced by a magistrate, to say notfc
l icf being married bv one.
TLa"t safe to be a div w:?hir. r
j Thomaa' Eclec'ric O i in th K,