CRAZY JOURNALISM. NEWSPAPERS PUBLISHED BY LUNA TICS FOR LUNATICS. Tfce Paallratlaaa That 1m laeaed la Maafcuaaea Aarlama Are Al KWI Eatlrelr r'ri-e Fraam Claoa ad Melaacaolla. Dotted here and there over the earth are little colonies whose Inhabitants rre cut off from all Intercourse with the everyday world by their owa Idiosyncrasies. Kacb Individual lives In a world of his or her own creation, which. In the majority of cases, only two outside Interests ever succeed In reaching namely, the asylum doctor and the asylum magazine. In some cases the proof sheets are Just glanced at by the head doctor be fore the DMg&g'ne goes to press, but they are written, printed and published by the Inmates themselves. Although America produced the first two lunatic journals, to Scotland be longs the credit of having started the first paper of this kind which has sur vived Its infancy. In fact, the birth of lunatic journalism took place when the first nuiulH-r of The New Moon was is sued from the Crichton Royal asyinm. Dumfries, on Dec. 3. 1M4. Since that date the followiu; have been success fully launched: The Moruingside Mir ror," from the Royal Edinburgh asy lum; The Excelsior, from James Mur ray's Itoyal asylum. Terth; The Fort England Mirror. Grahamstown, South Africa; The Murthly Magazine, from the Perth County asylum; Under the Dome, the organ of Bethlehem Royal lospitkl, London, and The Conglomer ate, which lielongs to the Middletown aylum. New York. These magazines touch the journal istic Ideal, as. being written by the readers for their amusement, they can not fail t hit the popular taste. We find that those mentally deranged like about four-ninths of their reading to take the form of travel an J heavy prose articles of a strictly theoretical tinture. The rest of the couteu's comes In order of quantity as 'jilova: Hu mor, local notes, oetry. chieJy In a light vein; special articles ou local the atricals and fiction. The most strikiug feature about these Journals is the almost total ab sence of gloom and melancholia, and we have It on the word of the doctor of one of the leading asylums that this Is not owing to such contributions be ing tabooed. But now and again one comes on a poem or tale drenched with melancholia and morbid Insanity. In one of these Journals appeared a story written in the Erst person about a hero undoubtedly the writer who had his head twisted round the wrong way. The consequence was he invariably had to walk In the opposite direction to which he wanted to walk. This ter rible fate haunts him right through the (story, causing him to lose friends, money and everything else which m.ia holds dear and ends up by his. In his own in i nd. murdering the girl who was to save him from himself. Ac-cording to the story, the heroine was standing on the edge of a great precipice. The hero is standing near. Suddenly the heroine becomes giddy and totters on the brink. The hero tries to dash forward and save her. but of course runs the other way. Here comes a break in the narrative, which Is finished f the following sentence: "And the gates of an asylum for those mentally deranged shut the writer off from his friends In the outer world." Aart from such tragedies as the alove. the whole of these journals are saturated with humor. In one we find the following among "Questions We Want Answered:' "When does the queen of Sheba in tend to recognize the royal rauk of the Prince of Wales' IId 'Marie Corelll' really tweak the doctor's nose? Why did 'It.mji' throw the ball at 'W. C.'s' head during practice at the nets? Per Imps It should he explained that the celebrities referred to alve are not those known to the public, but other iK-rsous who claim their personalities and are detained In the asylums for that very reason. A writer in The Fort England Mirror fives the following reason for his de tention: "I met a young widow with a grown stepdaughter, and the widow married me. Then my father, who was a widower, met my ste'Mlaughter and married her. That made my wife the mother-in-law of her father-in-law and made my stepdaughter my mother and my father my stepson. Then my step mother, the stepdaughter of my wife, had a son. That boy was. of course, my brother, because he was my fa ther's son. He was also the son of my wife's stepdaughter and therefore her grandson. That made me grandfather to my stepbrother. Then my wife had a son. My mother-in-law. the step sister of my son. Is also his grandmoth er, liecnnse he is her stepson's child. My father Is the Drother-iu-la w of my child, tiecause his stepsister Is his wife. 1 am the brother of my own son. who Is also the child of my step-grandmother. I am my mother's brother-ln-law. my wife Is her own child's aunt, tny son Is my father's nephew, and I'm Iny own grandfather. And after try ing to explain the relationship In our family some seven times . day to our calling friends for a fortnight. I was brought here no. came of my own will." Another declares that he never found rest from his motber-in-law before, and he Intends to hoodwink the doctors as long as possible. And yet another oints o'Jt that it has always Iwcc the fate of really great men to le ignored r 111 treated by their contemporaries, and that is why he is now detained. "For the thick skulls and those of lit tle sense are Jealous of my being the first to discover that we could all live forever If we would only walk on our heads Instead1 of our feet. IxiudoD WalL la Illlaal' Karl 7 Da? a. Teaming to Chicago Is a favorite . topic of the early settlers, and many pleasing anecdotes are told of those long and weary, though oftlirtes hila rious, trips. It always required a week, and sometimes longer, to maize the Journey. Twenty or thirty hungry teamsters stopping at a rude couutry tavern overnight sometimes made it interesting for the landlord. Fifty cents for supper, breakfast and lodg ing, with all the whisky one could drluk and free hay for the horses, was the uniform price for entertainment In the early days, and the average team ster usually intended to get the worth of his money before he settled his hotel bill SUU water Valley (Ills.) Graphic. Taa faa'a Aaawer. After his oo'a great success with the Tame aux CameUas," Alexandre Du mas wrote to him as though a stran-F-r. congratulating him on the book, and expressing a -desire to make the author's acquaintance. "I myself am a literary man." said he. In conclusion, "and yon may have heard my name as the author of.'Monte-Chri8to.', Dumas fils was equal to the occa sion. He wrote Immediately In reply, xpressing the great pleasure he would Lave In making his correspondent's ac quaintance, principally on account of the high terms In which he had always heard his father speak of the author of "MorHe-Chrtsto."-Rival Ilea of the Haaae. McSwatters Where Is your mother-in-law DOW? McSwatters We are living with her. McSwatters What! I thought you owned a bouse? McSwitters I did till she came. Syracuse Herald. If silence Is ever golden. It must be beside the graves of men whose lives were more significant than speech, and whose death was a poem, the manic of which can never be sun;. Groteaawe Warrlara. Here Is a fetching description of a military review which we cull from Mr. Harold tJorsts book on China; "At one extremity of the field there was raised on a slight elevation of the ground a platform shaded by an im mense red parasol and ornamented with lanterns, streamers and some large lanterns that did not seem par ticularly uecessary, as the sun was shining In full splendor. The inspector t-xtraordinary of the Imperial army and the principal civic and military mandarins of the town were on the platform, seated in armchairs before little tables covered with tea things and loxes filled with excellent tobacco. The moment arrived to begin. A little culverin that stood near the platform was fired off. the military Judges cov ering their ears with their hands to protect them from the frightful detona tion, then a yellow flag was hoisted to the top of one of the forts, the tom toms sounded a furious charge, and the soldiers rushed together pellmell, uttering terrible cries and grouping themselves around the flag of their comiany. "It is Impossible to Imagine any thing more whimsical and comic than the evolutions of the Chinese soldiers. They advance, draw back, leap, pirou ette, cut capers, crouch behind their shields, as if to watch the enemy, then Jump up again, distribute blows right and left and then run away with all their might, crying. 'Victory, victory T " Mr. Klmbrrlrr'i Kimble Wit. Jaui.-s G. Blaine was nonplused once while he was secretary of state. One of the applicants for a consulate lu Jaj.an was the late "Samuel Klmber ley of Baltimore, who died in the serv ice In Central America. After he had prescutcd his credentials Mr. Blaine said: "I should like to appoint you, Mr. Klmtxrley. but I have made it a rule to recommend no one who does not speak the language of the country to which he Is sent. Do you speak Jap anese?" t'ert-t-tafnly. Mr. B Blaine," stam mered Mr. Klmberley. "A-a-ask me 6-8-somctblug in J -J -Japanese and Pll answer you." Mr. Blaine hadn't a word to say, but the Japanese post went to another man, all the same, and Kimbcrley went to Central America. Another story Is told of Klmberley equally creditable to his nimble wlL One day he met a young woman who threw her arms Impulsively around his neck and kissed him. Seeing her mis take, she drew back and angrily ask ed: "Aren't you Mr. Jones?" "X-n-no, madam." replied Klmber ley. liowing; "I'm n-n-not, but I w-w-wish to thunder I w-w-waa." Saturday Evening TosL The Proaanriatloa Explained. "There Is a family In Virginia," says Collier's Weekly, "the name of which Is sjK-lled 'Euroughty.' but It is pro nounced 'Darby.' This fact, familiar to many Americans, happened to be told by Miss Hay ward at a dinner In London at which Mr. Kipling was present, when he broke In: 'You have saved my reputation by telling that You are the first man, woman or child who could back me up In it.' "The explanation of the peculiarity Is that the Derbys were an English fami ly who settled In Virginia in the colo nial days. One of the sons, the tradi tional black sheep of the family, was left a share in his father's will on con dition that he changed his name. He changed his written name to En roughty, but continued to call himself Derby. "Ou hearing this explanation Mr. Kipling said. I think I will change my name to Smith.' 'You can spell it Smith if you like,' was the reply, 'but It will always be pronounced Kipling,' a remark which caused him to look 'as unfeigucdly pleased as a Iniy.' A Go a a Strmtea-tat, "John." said Mrs. TUursby, "you were saying yesterday that you were ia financial trouble, I believe." "Yes." Mr. Thursby replied, "and I'm terribly worried. I didn't sleep a wink last ulght." "I think I heard you say something, too. about a note held by Mr. Hewitt, didn't ir "That's what is causing the trouble. If I could get him to extend the time n It for nl tout DO d.-iys, everything would come out all right. 1 could then realize ou some securities I hold and get on my feet, but If be insists on payment now I shall have to sacrifice my valuable holdings, and this will practlc-ally ruin me." "Have you asked him for an exten sion of the timer "No. That wouldn't do any good. He never favored anylxxly in his life; If he knew how I am fixed, he would be all the more anxious to press me for au immediate settlement." "Well, don't you worry, dear. His wife, you know. Is several years older than I. We met at a party this after noon, and I spoke to a tot of women there of the days when she and I went to the same school. She turned pale when I mentioned the fact, fearing, of course, tliat I was going to tell how long ago it was, and that she was sev eral grades above me because she was older, but i put down my pride and pretended that as I rememliervd her she was a little thing In pinafores just learning her primer lessons when I graduated. You go to Hewitt's house now, and when she is present ask him to "extend the time on that note." Chicago Times-Herald. Beefy Beaatlea. "In Turkey the most beautiful and desirable woman Is the one wl weighs the mott." writes an American who has been sojourning In the sul tan's domain. "A thin and willowy creature would have no social standing in Turkey and would be a total failure on the stage in Constantinople. Un less a woman is fat she cannot secure an engagement In a musical hall, and the fatter she Is the more enthusiasm she arouses and the larger Is her sal ary. "On the evening after my arrival in Constantinople I went to the Concordia Music hall, and there I saw more fem inine breadth, depth, thickness, heft and circumference than I had ever le fore seen under one roof. The first woman who sang was fat; the second was fatter; the third was no. not fat test, although she was mu- h heavier than No. 2. She was uiei ' the prom ise of what was yet to tome. They were holding liack the really big art lsts for the finale. "At last these two came on. They were slererr" aad they made a large family by themselves. The house arose In Joy as the two vast egg shajied o'i Jects apiK-ared ou the stage. Th TurLs. who had been sitting stolidly In the boxes looking with dull uueon cern at the frail vocalists who weighed less than 3K. now str&Ighteued up and clapied their hands." " Croaada Kar Aetloa. Softleigh I aw had me mind wear by a pwofessiona! mind weader we cently, doneher know? Miss Cutting-Indeed! And what did he charge you? Softleigh Foah dollars. Miss Cutting What an outrage! Wtv don't you have him arrested for obtain ing money under false pretenses? Chicago News. The Other ta Blaate. "Ton can't keep a secret. Marie." "Yes. I can: but I always happen to tell things to other girls who can't." Chicago Record. A little sugar taken with water, not too cold, in case food !s not obtaInaM will relieve anr feellnz of eiha nation and sharp hunger. THE FORCE OF WAVES. GENTLE ROLLS OF WATER THAT HCLD A FEARFUL POWER. Groan Seas oa be Knslleh Coaat Which Wreck Vee: aa Calm Dare Theae Serella Strike Wllk a Poree ml a Tea ta the Squrt lark. Many visitors to the coast are sorely puzzled when a boatman either refuses to put off from the shore, or at most go far from hind, oa a day when there Is no sign of an approaching storm and the water Is only moved by a Ions and gentle rolling swelL Argument Is of no avail, and If the old salt Is pushed for a reason he will only reply with some cryptogram Ic re mark about "the ground sea," the questioner then retiring more bewil dered than before. It Is hard to understand how such a gentle swell can presage danger, but to experienced eyes It gives a warning that must be heeded. All along the west and parts of the south coasts of England and Ireland, as well as the west coast of Scotland, uncounted tales are told of ships which on a per fectly calm day have been within a few hours first caught by a gentle roll of the water and finally thrown on a rockbound shore by the dreaded "ground sea." To understand this curious marine phenomenon it must be borne In mind that out on the Atlantic waves are of ten formed to a heigh of 40 feet. Driv en before a heavy gale, these advance at a tate of from 30 to 40 miles an hour. Traveling at such a rate, they soon get out of the wind swept area. But even though, for them, the storm is past they still roll on In fury, their undulations often being felt S00 miles from the point of their creation. In the region of the storm these waves are fierce, breaking billows, but as they get farther away they, settle down into long, rolling ridges, which travel onward In long, unbroken lines. perfectly parallel with each other. Out on the op-.-n sea these ridges of ten stretch out for a distance of over 30 miles, and they travel In threes. each successive wave being larger than Its predecessor. The sight Is an Imposing one. The farther they propre the small er they become in height, but this It compensated for by the fact that their motion Is communicated to the mass of water below, until the roll can be de- tec-ted fully CO feet under the surface. This gives them the name of "ground sea." In this peculiarity their danger lies, for when a becalmed ship is caught In them, her draft, the resisting power that enables her to ride out a storm becomes the fulcrum which the liquid mass uses to hurl her onward to de struction. On a calm day any sailing craft caught In the "ground sea" near a rocky shore is as good as lost, unless a wind can spring up and enable her to beat out to sea. Many a ship has uiet this fate. The reason many more do not get lost Is due to the gentle swell that so deceives a landsman and warns a sailor. As the "ground sea" advances it pushes a certain amount of water be fore it- This also forms Into ridges, like Its pursuer, but of less height and approximately no depth. Tike "false sea." as It Is called. Is lit tie more than a rolling swell, but It gives a warning of from 20 minutes to two hours' duration, enabling a ship to either run luto port, get out to sea or securely anchor: while at the sea side resorts the boatmen run close In shore to the surprise of the "trippers.' When It is rememliered that a wave 20 feet high, which Is often attained by the "ground sea." strikes with a force of one ton to the square inch, the ne cessity for caution will be recognized. All waves that come In parallel ridges, however, are not dangerous, as there is a "wind billow" that Is closely allied to the "ground sea" In appear ance. "Wind billows" are due to a heavy wind blowing but a few miles off the land, but as they have bad but a com paratively short distance to travel they have no depth. Consequently even a rowing !oat Is perfectly safe on them If projM-rly handled. These waves usually appear when there Is a comparative caliu near the shore, their great poiut of difference from the "ground sea." in apin-arance being that their unbroken lines are nearer and are all equidistant, not traveling in threes. Generally the "wind billow" does not break Into foam, but occasionally this happens when they are coming In agaiust the tide. Then It Is hard to de tect them from ordinary waves, the product of a local windstorm. These always break Into foam at their crest, the "white horses" of the inn Hue poet. UeniemU'ring these peculiarities of the various waves will save tourists considerable disappointment when wis er heads bid them keep to the land, for. to them, no appareut reason, while it may keep them from rushing Into unknown dangers. Oue other fact Is also worthy of mention, as It may prove of advantage should a loat drift out to sea with an inex'tcrieuced crew and no compass abonrd. Then. If a "ground sea" Is "running." set your mind at ease, for you can steer by It. as. on the English and Irish coasis at least. It always comes from the northwest. Pearson's Maga sine. Iter Weaknena. ne This shoe doesu'l fit. Try a big ger tine. She (severely! No. sir; bring me the same size a little larger. Denver Sun. Inquisitive people are the funnels of conversation; they do not take In any thing for their own use, but merely to pass it to another. Steele. Railroad Tire. A fact of some Interest in railroad construction is the great diversity In the number of ties used to the mile on different lines, as well as In the size and quality of timber. Thus, accord ing to the construction details of the New York. New Haven and Hartford railway, the number of ties used on that line Is 2.800 to the mile, three quarters of these being chestnut and one-quarter oak. while some roads use 2.000 only, or 2.000 to the mile. More than H ier cent of the ties are cut 8 feet long. 12 per cent 9 feet and the rest fcVi feet long; the nine foot ties are used chiefly by the southern and gulf group of railroads, where pine timber is very abundant and cheap. The New England roads have their ties cut from five to six inches In thickness, while the southern roads seem to prefer sev en inch ties; the width of the ties like wise varies from five to six inches in New England to eight inches In the central northern and the southern roads. New York Sua. A Hastier. "Now, then, my friend." said the businesslike young preacher, pocketing the wedding fee and turning again to the bridegroom, "let me ask If you are carrying any life Insurance?" "No. sir." replied the newly made benedict. "Not yet" "Well, the most sacred duty resting upon you now Is to take out a liberal policy for the benefit of this young wo mr.n, who Is dependent upon you here after. I represent one of the strongest and best companies in this country. Here are the figures showing," etc And be got the young husband's ap plication. There Is nothing like finish ing a job thoroughly while you arc about It Chicago Tribune. Nothing takes Impudence out of tvao. Ile so promptly as adversity. Atchi son Globe. A Rascally Valet. Von Bunsen told me that Humboldt In his latter days was completely un der the Influence of a rascally valet named Seiffert, and, to the disgust of his friends, bequeathed to him all his effects, of little value. It Is true, for the old man left no projierty of any ae eor.iit Even Lis private letters and pajiers went to the wretch. The king and the queen, said Voa Bunsen, were for years In the habit of sending Humboldt a present on his birthday. " At length it became diffi cult to know what would be acceptable to the old mail, whose wants were so few aud tastes so simple. It was their habit to send au aid-de-camp to him a few weeks before his birthday to as certain. If he could, the sort of gift likely to be most acceptable tJ him. and whatever that might be, of course. It was seiit- Shortly previous to one of these an niversaries, and In reply to a similar Inquiry, the royal couple got word that the philosopher would be pleased to receive a ilvuble bed. They wondered what in the world could have put It Into HutiilHihlt's head to ask for a double bd, having probably never slept In one In all bU life and having been habituated from childhood to the least luxurious sleeping arrangements Imaginable. The old man died, however, before the expected birthday auuivcrsary ar rtveL It then transpired that the provident valet had concluded It would be a nice thing for him and his wife ta have a spick aud span new bed with the royal arms urou it. and had taken advantage of the king's regard for Ilunibohit to try getting one at their majesties' expense.-John Blgelow lu Century. t'achecked Drolalttr. It Is very different, the treatment of domestic aniraaU In Paris. There, if you live In a hotel on oue of the nar row streets of tl? Eatiu quarter, you will be kept awake all night long by the never ending rracking of the whips and the withering cuts as they are laid hard and stinging over the backs of the limping, half starved horses that draw the voitcres and fiacres. If a cab horse stumbles and falls to his knees la Paris, the driver does not run to the nearest apothecary's for 'St centimes' worth of liniment to bathe the scratched knees, as the Loudon cabby does for tuppence worth. He simply gets down from his seat and, taking the butt end of his whip, beats the horse over the head until he clam bers to his feet; then, after administer ing a couple of kicks from a No. 13 hobnailed loot, he mounts his liox and drives along. The tram horses are constantly bela bored with a whip and sworn at In the argot of Paris, and the result, strange as it may seem. Is that It takes you longer to go a mile In a fiacre lu Paris with the horses lc!ug whippet! all the time thaw it does the same distance la London when not once during the drive will the animal feel the touch of the lash. Detrtiit Free Press. Kino Solomon aa Rgrotlet. And yet this king (Solomon 1 with his magnificence and unrivaled power, this shrewd judge, this skillful statesman, this scholar with his wide culture, Ikv cauie a essimist. and stands forth one of the saddi-st figures In all the his tory of melancholy. But If we analyze his misery we find that Le was a pessl mist not lecausc men are disciplined by conflict and trouble, but because he was a confirmed egotist. Had men used printing presses in those faroff days the first letter to be exhausted in setting up Solomon's copy would have lieen the capital le'ter "1." "I" bullded me houses. "I" got me soldiers. "I" wrote proverbs. "I" had manservants, "I" had maidserv ants. Through insatiable egotism Solo mon lifted up this "I" as a columnar hitching ost. and asked all creation to stand around and admire him. But simplicity Is to a great man what sweetness Is to n rose. A bloated and overwrought egotism makes happiness impossible. Rev. Newell Dwight mi lls. D. D., la Indies' Home Journal. I.'onr ta Get Rid at a Crowd. The late Prince George generally dined oil his balcony, during which time his Cossac'.is played delightful airs from the Russian operas. Crowds of Htple csme to stare most rudely, so one evening there was a very dis agreeable smoke which swept over them and drove them away. I had the curiosity to find out the meaning. A stove had lieen filled with bark and leaves aud placed in such a position that the smoke was driven right into the faces of the people, and I could Imagine the quiet laugh that went around the lmicrla! dinner table as the fHHiple disersed as sheep having no shepherd. Review of Reviews. A Very Flae Male. Sly neighlsir. Morris, has a very fine mule, aud about six mouths ago this mule tried to pick his teeth with his hind foot aud got the shoe fastened in his mouth on a broken tooth. Mr. Morris wori ed an hour to nnloose It. and then called In the nelghlmni. and they worked with rxxsaiid levers, but couldn't. AH of a sudden, while Morris was standing by. thinking what to do next, the tooth broke with a report like a pistol, and the mule's foot Hew back against Morris shin bone and broke It all to pieces. Raleigh News and Observer. Care of Robber Goorfe. In putting away rubber gloves, rub ber sKti)ge bags and rubber bathing caps a Lleral supply of talcum, or even ordinary toilet powder, should lie appHnl t ) liieiu on all slli-s. and they should b. placed carefully lu boxes without rolling. When they are nettled for use again, they will not he found adhering iu different places lu a way thai makes pulling apart tlaugerous. If not entirely disastrous. 3 a an ere la I'abile. The pirsuu who has been trained from childhood to consider the comfort snd convenience of others at the ex pense tif his own will Instinctively take the least comfortable seat In a tar and get on or off the car In a way ivhk-li will cause others the least In nveuienee. The erson who has not been traiued In this way will make himself obuoxlotis and cause much In ward swearing among his neighltors. Lei the children lie trained to be po lite. Washington Times. Ctersrmra Lead la LoacreTltjr. Diagrams prepared by an cxcrt for ne of the large life Insurance compa nies to Illustrate the comparative lon gevity of clergymen, farmers, teachers, lawyers ami doctors, show that 42 out of every 170 ministers of the gospel reach the age of 70. 'j he farmers come next, their projiortion for 70 years of age U'lng 4.1 out of 170. Next come the teachers with 34: the lawyers show 2T. and the doctors are last, with only 24 out of 170. Atlanta Journal The ose of cocaine to produce local Insensibility Is forbidden In Turkey on religious grounds. A WOMAN. Cod did act make her ri-ry wise. Bui -rtri a Ktniufi-nne rv-und her uoata; Hr put tti-r grt-t ejrruw in bcr eye AoJ ttif:nt-a fur Mit-n'a auuia ia Uruulh. And tm bcr late, f-jf all to tee, Tbe fteat uf aful trart!. Cod did not makr her rtrj lair. liut wkitr and II 1 be and atrange and awret: A auUlf flagrante in IkT hair. A alcodcr raifinrat in uer lrt. And in ta 1-stk.h a aluw -n-c, Cud madr itvrar fur my atradfattneea. Cod did it rive to b -r a hrert, v Cut tlw-fr 11 that milhin brr tace T& ml UM-n long to muar apart I'l.lil !ur kokJik- linJ and Ijrare, And tmnk tu r.-eJ and jrhii tnrre AJ fcuud. y t du" l a.-aneljr tair. A. 0. Hull in .V r Vura Tribune. POARlSEWOLim A Conspicuous EcnieDt in the Campaigns in Tbia Ccm-moiiwealth. THE PEOPLE KOT DECEIVED. Motives or the So-called Bosineaa Learn e and Other Typea That Be-pDb-.tcai.lam Has Hd to Contend With Thoronizbly Eipoeed. (Special Correspondence.) Philadelphia, Not. 7. The Pharisee la becoming a consplcous personage In Pennsylvania politics. Not all of the so-called insurgents can fairly be styled Pharisees, though all the Phari sees are insurgents. And It Is a fact to be deplored that all of the Phari sees would like it to be known that they are Republicans. It ia. of course. In accordance with their time worn custom for the Democrats to lay claim to every virtue and to pose as the em bodiment of ail that Is good and proper, but then they as a party are not to be taken seriously. The Democ racy have gotten into power time and again upon glowing promises of great reforms they were going to Introduce and they have Just as often gone out of power through failure to keep their promises. But to the Pharisees who style them selves Republicans, who act with the Republican Insurgents; that is. men who go outside of the Republican or ganization, who do not abide by the will of the majority, after participating In Republican primary or caucus or convention. Not only do the Pharisees act with the Insurgents, but they are actually in league with the Democratic machine and give corrfort and finan cial support to the Democratic organ ization. IN TWO CAMPAIGNS. The Pharisees -ere conspicuous in the last two state campaigns in Penn sylvania. They were deep in the con spiracy to elect a Democrat to the governorship, and did all in their power to help r.lcng the canvass of that eminent citizen, but Bourbon Demo crat, George A. Jenks. The Pharisees over reached themselves in that cam paign, and Colonel William A. Stone was triumphantly elected by the stal wart Republicans of the old Keystone state. While still professing to be Ke publicaus, the Pharisees came to the front in the contest this fall. The Republican state convention had no sooner plated its candidates in the field than the Pharisees rppeared, lined up with the Bryanite Democrats, determined to defeat the Republican ticket, because, forsooth, they had not been permitted to dictate the action of the convention. With the issues fairly defined, the Republican primaries had been held throughout the state and the lnsi'i-gents nere beaten five to one in the election of delegates to the state convention. There was no reason why any good Republican should not have accepted this result and abide by the will of the majority. If matters did not suit them their opportunity to even matters up should come at the next primary election. SO-CAIXED BUSINESS LEAGUE. Conspicuous among these disgrun tied and dosperate party wreckers are members of the so-called Business Men's League, of Philadelphia. Th8 mark of the Pharisee is upon this orcanization. Its course in this fall's canvass has accentuated this fact It is a body of very limited member ship, but in it is the embodiment of Wanamakeii.sm and everything that Implies selfish and personal politics of the most pronounced type. .hile it has but few members it has a corps of what are known In the circus bus! ne8 as "barkers, or in the realms of Queer financiers as '"boomers" or "pro moters. Their businesa is to keep the name of the league before the pub lic, to issue manifestos and to annoy and harass the regular Republican or ganizatlon of Pennsylvania and the stalwart Republican leaders as much as possible. To do this they have practically made the league an annex to the Guffey Democratic state com mittee. The agents of both these or ganizations work together, though not entirely for the same end. Guffey's men are seeking to disrupt the Repub lican party, so that Millionaire Guffey may be elected to the United States senate. The league agents are busy as sailing and maligning the Republican leaders and the Republican organiza tion, bo that a condition of affairs shall be brought about which will en able Millionaire Wanamaker to go to the United States senate. Neither of these contingencies is likely to happen. The people of Pennsylvania prefer that the stalwart Republican sentiment of this state shall be represented In the upper house of congress by a stalwart Republican, and not by a Democrat or a man who would wreck the Republi can organization to satisfy his personal ambition to figure in official life In Washington. PEOPLE KNOW THE GAME. The people of Pennsylvania have seen through the game that is being played in the politics of this state. They recognize the work of the Phar isee in the assaults that were made upon Colonel Stone when he ran for governor, and the attacks that were made upon Colonel Barnett during his canvass for Hate treasurer just closed, and which were the most contemptible and cowardly witnessed in this statd since the civil war. The work of the Business Men's League during the closing days of the campaign this year was the most bold faced exhibition of party treachery that has ever been attempted in this city by an organization which made any claim to Republicanism. They first sent out a glowing eulogy of Creasy, the Bryanite candidate for state treas urer. This circular contained no men tion of Colonel Barnett. the Republican nominee for that office. Then two diys before election they distributed what was In the nature of a last card, in which they used as an argument wh Republicans should not vote for Colo no! Barnett. the fact that while he fill rd the office of deputy secretary of th rommoawe-ilta he had. in his offlcla' capacity, certified the McKinley Citi zens' ticket to the county commission ers, which ticket getting on the ballot lesulted in the election of Alexander Crow, the reform candidate for si erif. They let the impression go out thai by this action thousands of vot? we-e lost to President McKinley for presi dent The fact wa3 that the printing of this c.h'.mn 011 the ballot was to the direct advantage to the polling of large McKinley vote, as it gave the lnder.enile!it citizens au o: portuullv to vote for the reform candidate for sher iff rsnd by the same marking of the Id lot put in a vote fcr the McKinley elMors. This circular Is regarded ss the siHie.n document ever gotten out in a political campaign. THE PRESS BUREAU. White the Business Men's League was co-operating with the Democracy fha Wanamaker newspaper Influence, embodied in the Wanamaker owned and the WunamcUer advertising con trolled pspers in the city and vicinity. ha-1 their columns filled with syndicate political matter designed to descredit the Republican candidates and help along the Democracy. They attempted to picture Creasy as a great reformer and published in full the speeches made to order for him to read as he went from county to county. The star political writers of the so- called Republican newspapers were sent with Creasy to help him make a showing before the people, while cor respondents were made to belittle and misrepresent Colonel Barnett on every opportunity. When the Democratic papers began printing the scandalous libels as to Colonel Barnett not having been a brave soldier the Wanamaker so-called Republican papers Joined In the raid upon the gallant soldier of the campaign in Luzon. They would not print the statements of his comrades wno voluntarily came to the front to refute the charges and to tell how thp saw Colonel Barnett lead his battalion ' into uie nre or the insurgents in the Ihillpplnea and in every way conduct himself as a courageous and manly of ficer should. No mention was mart. f the fact that while Colonel Barnett was fizhUng for hla countrr'a flat and ioa- or in the far off Orifcflt. the Wana maker cor tracts with the government for supp:h!8 f"r ne artnr were nlllns the coffers which were to be drawn upot- later to help along a dastardly campaign against one of the most un justly manned and misrepresented soldier of the Keystone state. But the reople have memories, and the day w ill come w hen there shall be a reckoning. ?fot Slrlckea Wit" Grief. "I thought my ambulance service had hardened me agaiust unpleasant surprise." said a joung doctor who does considerable work on the lower east side, "but sometimes It seems not. For Instance, yesterday morning when I called on an old woman patient In a bl tenement down town 1 found she was dviug. and I was shocked to see lying asleep close Inside her on the narrow Im1 a youug girl of alout Uk -I aroused her at ouce and explained to her that her grandmother was with in a few minutes of death. 1 thought naturally that she would Jump out of her unpleasant jsjsltion. without think ing long about the manner of her Jumping. But I fooled myself. She Just glanced at the old lady and shook off my hand sullenly and muttered You leuime Mone then she turned over to go to sleep again without mov ing away an inch. "The rest of the family went on with their chattering and wailing, ami when I left the house after the end had come to the grandmother the girl was still sleeping there, refusing to have her niornlug nap disturUtt. and somehow my svstem was considerably Jarred by the "thing."-New York Commercial Advertised. Tbe VaaUevllle Theater. Sometimes the vaudeville theater Is en Individual and Independent enter prise; more often it belongs to a circuit The patronage, expenses and receipts r.re enormous. Oue circuit will speak for nil. It has a theater In New York, oue lu Philadelphia, one In Boston, and one iu Providence, and they give no Sunday performances, and yet these four theaters entertain over 5.000.' people every year, give employment to 3j0 attaches and to 3..V10 actors. Four thousand people pass In and out of each oue of these theaters daily. Ten thousand dollars are distributed each week In salaries to the ac tors and e3.r(K) to the attaches. Take one thea ter for example, the house In Boston. It Is open the year round, and It costs $7,000 a week to keep it oien. while Its patrt.us will average 'Jo.OtiO every week. Ou a holiday it will play to from 10.000 to 12.000 people.-From "The Vaudeville Theater." by Edwin Milton Uovle. In Scribner's. RECORD OFTHE PAST No Stronger Evidence Can Ce Had. Look well to tVtr record. What lluy have done many times in years gone by. Is the best guarantee of future rest't. Anyone with a bad back; any reader suf fering from urinary troubles, from any kidney ills, will find in the following evi dence proof that relief and care is near it hand: Veteran G. N. Asbenfelter, of 338 West Penn street, Carlisle, Pa., says: "Although I gave a statement vouching for Doan's Kidney Pills in January, 1896, I had not so thoroughly tried them as I have since. I bad pains and lameness in my back and an annoying difficulty with the kidney secretions. I used Doau's Kidney Tills for the trouble and found them promptly reach my case and give me almost instant relief. I have never suffered since as I did before using them. I have recom mended Doan's Kidney Pills to many of my acquaintances and I can conscientious ly do so fully as fervently now as I could over three years ago." Doan's kidney Pills 50 cents per box. For sale by all druggists, or mailed by Foster-Mi.burn Co., Euffalo, N. Y., sole agents for the U. S. Rememlier the tame. Doan's, aud Uke no substitute. SOMERSET MARKET REPORT COKKECTKD WIIKLI BY Cook & Beerits, Wednesday, 0 (. 4,1899. pet Da dried, t VHponttxd fc. Apple Hulier.per rI ( roll, per Butter. i frm.h kt-e." per .. (crmmery, per fc.. Tt-Vc 4c l:-c -to to5c 1ST aw neeewax per b . "A? country hm, per 10 to ljc rw !ucrcurvl ham. per 1) r'-n Ua0n-1.ide, ner t . a to sc vkhouldtT, per t 10 u He Bean. white navy, per bus 1.1111, per id .. Hreeu, per It . Coffee. ..l.V rcHtited. per ..10 to l Cement J u'trlnd, per bbl f I .(Hi to I.JU Cornmeal, per b. i,nuu. yr-t 0111 tJU IO l.UT lkJ 1 W FUh. lake herring-. I H lr 70' T J? I'ibbl perauBl. I ....... j . w viwn,i-r . 3 Lard, per b 7 to lor Mmcperbbl .UW .iKMMK-wK, n.u., per eal . fty Onion, per bus. u, , a Potatoes, per bun ;v rwicnee, evaporated, per g to lie Prune, per t fc r,, iw ( v' v . 1 " . J.. ... r, .,.10 Salt, 111 Mm jj;, pi 01.1 , llllm 1 I U Dairy, V bua aa-k.s 2f " " " 5. 4 hm .nob rrotind alum, lau aackalL....iiir 1..,, 1, r m KtOltle imported yellow, pc-r It 5c white, A. per B JSi-e f ranuUted, per t iia-tf e Sugar. - - I' yvs m OC per eal rtia nl aw . 1 1 1 & - Syrup. HlnnaTuri iti Hn ThlloW, ptT fe.- j" Ify mrBi. 1-1 --e .... JU Ip'wlc ( timothy, per bu.. I lllVr Iter till at a -r is. ciimmm. per bua 4 m I AlfulfH, per iu e.-jo V aair-j n UU..WMW 7..TII Millet, German, pr bun m ( ltalll-V Whit au.. V...I '.- Grain icorn (helled, per bua.L.L"T"i"io 4r "" V, .1 loS- rye, per bu.... wheat, per biw Klc A Feed bran, per 1U0 tw h)C corn and oau chop, per li)0ibau. g.lc flour, roller proreMa.per bbl TJs.i) Flour. pruig patent and mncy iflour.Uiwererde"p7i'i)Ba.iijSMl.io I vhllr. n.. lilt I. MlddliBga. I rii"- iTa, yrr w n,. CONDENSED TIME TABLES. Baltimore and Ohio Railroad. Somerset and Cambria Branch. ItORTHWABD. JobnUwn Mall Exprem. Rorka-ontl 11-10 a m., i-mfraei i nuyenUwn liui, Uoov- JobDitown Accommodation. Rock wood 1 40 p. iu.. nomereei .suyeitwuu 31. HooT ravlll6.4J Johnstown S 3). Ihll'TRVl yu Mull. Johnntown tl 2j .m..HooTerTllle 0J V , - " ooincret y.ij Hock wood Eipnp-w JohnRtown 1 10 p. m., BooTenvtlla I a, HtovmtowD ill, 8omraet tiO. Koca woodS). Iil7. F. D. rSDERWOOD. D. B. MARTIN Cit-nt-jai Manager. PaaeeQger Traffic Uanaer. 'E-N8YLVAXIA RAILROAD. IN EFFECT JULY I, 1899. TmIm .nl. .nil ...... . . I . iV . . ,T "rr inaiwuonat Johnatown aa folio wi : Wamriia, Weatern Kipr Southwestern Kxprem. Jnhnatowo Accommodation JohnMown Accommodation Pacific Kipre .. Pitinhnrg Einma I Mail ' p. m. Faat T.ln Johnatown Aooom moda lion Sjlstwakb Atlantie V v nrM. Seashore Eipreae Altoona Accommodation iiiy r.xprea... Altoona Accommodation" JobnKtown Accommodation PLIladlphia Kxpreaa Ff t :jm , , ' .J0:15 12TO p. m - 4:SS a. m 6:( :62 M 8:10 " :-M - 2:50 "' a - it I " A 0- 5:11 . S-.3S - : a. aa 5:10 " 8:'4 - So Says Mr. Beacoa to Critics cf the State Treasury. THE G0VSH0K'3 POPCLAEITT. Colonel SUa. tha Sinn aa AIwaJ"a Waa. Is Making Good Exeontteo, (Special Correspondenca.) Rarrlsbure. Nov. 7. A fact that waa brought out conspicuously In the state ramttalra Just closed Is tnat me it- publican administration of tbe state treasury has been such that Treasurer Beacom cca defy tne critics of hia con duct of the oCce to make them sub stantiate any statement tney m7 rnttka de-rros-atory of his management , nir-M. It haa been a familiar mm Dai en cry of the Democracy that the state treasury will not bear Inves tigation. They were met upon this issue before, when the Republicans in the legislature had a committee appointed nH hi the books of the office gone over carefully and they found the bal ances correct to a penny. The snme oiu cry was raised this fall. Treasurer Beacom went upon the stump and de that ha had the books of his office ready for Immediate inspecden and he challenged the Democratic nominee for state treasurer to come tJ hla office and go over all the records. BEACOM IS THE OPEN. "I want to face the people," said Tiwisnrer Eeacom. "I want to go .mom them and discuss the state finances; tell Just what sums I ha 3 on deposit, where the money is, ana snow them that the interest on every penny is collected regularly and that the state eeta it all. I want the people to know that the Republican party passed the laws which require the payment of interest on state funds and that the Republican party Is prepared, through me, its representative, to make an exact accounting of every dollar that has been received and that has been paid out since I came into the office. I think we have spiked the guns of the Democrats who have been making so much noise about state Issues. As with the state treasury, the sev eral other departments on the "hill" are being conducted upon the strictest business prinrlplep. Reforms have been instituted and the men who are In charee of the departments are alt men nf character and standine: most of them are old soldiers, men who served tfcelr cotintiy in its hours of prll, rd who have been rewarded by the Re publican party and the people at large with positions of honor and trust. GOVERNOR STONE "POPULAR. Governor Stone, who when a poor boy working on his father's farm ran away and enlisted in the union army, is making a roost satisfactory chief ex ecutlve officer. He In touch with the people. He does not show any change In his manner of treating callers or in giving those little personal attentions to visitors which are expected from a public official. He is the same today aa he was before he was elevated to the position of governor. He is one of the plain people and his friends are proud of the fact that he gives every evidence of being the broad minded, liberal and kind hearted Colonel Stone that he was before he became governor. Governor Stone is now engaged in tb encouragement of the project to protect the forest of Pennsylvania. As one who followed a plow, he can ap preciate the importance of saving the forests of the state. Major McCauIey. the auditor gen eral. has introduced a number of inno vations since he took hold of that of fice and today declares that there Is not a similar department in the country that is operated upon more careful lines for the protection of the Interests of the taxpayers. THE SEATING OF QUAY. The next move on the political check er board will probably be over the seating of Colonel Quay in tbe United States senate upon the certificate issued to him by Governor Stone. Upon this subject the New York Herald through its Washington correspondent. recently said: "Matthew S. Quay will be seated by the United States senate. Senator Quay's credentials, given by the gover nor of Pennsylvania, will be acceptable to the United States senate by a safe majority. "This is the conclusion reached not enly by Senator Quay's friends, but by those who have made aa impartial canvas of the situation. A senator who has had some correspondence recently with Vice President Hobart. who by reason of his position has a better op portunity of learning the individual views of senators than any other public man, tells me that Mr. Hobart is con fident that Mr. Quay will be seated. "in addition to this I understand that a systematic canvass of the senate has been made in two separate instances one for Senator Quay himself by desig nated friends and tbe other by George Q. Cannon, of Utah, who has been promised the vacant senator-ship from that state by gubernatorial appoint ment provided the senate votes to seat Quay. As a result, both are understood to be well satisfied that they will oc cupy seats in the next senate. "The canvass made by Mr. Cannon Is said to have been complete with tbe exception of Senator Hanna. He refused to commit himself, but as he voted to seat Corbett Quay is said not to be worried by the way he will vote, and Cannon s poll showing a majority of two for Quay includes Senator Hanna In the affirmative column. "Details of these polls are not ob tainable at present, and a verification of them, even if published, will be dif ficult, for the reason that a number of the new senators who are Included in Mr. Cannon's poll, when publicly asked for their views, declare that theT have not made cp their minds, and that they desire to hear the arguments on both sides of thb floor of the senate Le fore committing themselves." Oriental Haaaor. Some of tbe similes used by oriental advertisers are as remarkable for hu mor and naivete as even those of tbe Immortal Sam Weller. Here are one or two sjKt-imens which have recently appeared In eastern newspapers: "Goods dispatched as expeditiously as a cannon ball. "Parcels done up with as much oar as that bestowed on her husband by a loving wife. "Paper tough as elephant's hide." "The print of our books is clear as crystal: the matter elegant as a sing ing glrL" "Customers treated as politely as by the rival steamship companies." "Silks and satins smooth as a lady's cheek and colored like the rainbow." London Answers. She SIleaee4 Greeley. Elorace Greeley once bad a discua- slon with an advocate of women's suffrage shortly before the American civil war. He was using as bis final argument the Inability of women to fight. "What wottht mu .v. t. in stance," be asked bis friend, -in th. event of war?" "Just What VOU WOUld do. Mr fir.. ley," she replied promptly. "I should nay in an otnee and write articles urg ing other people to go and fight" Mea.arlas Tlaae. Just when the dav Im-im. aw.AoA Into hours Is not known, nor l tim process explained. The Greeks and Romans measured time by the water glass aid the sun dials. Th filled with sand, was the outgrowth of these vessels, from whih dripped through tiny openings. ! . Va .MUt Ut? IVTl tO breed anil rmiitti.iv nn,t....KA.i fJ uuuiniui uvu lUr period of 20 years, they would yield an amount of fish equal In bulk to the globe on which we lira. iSnyders Pharmar i , xz It resoires a good selected stock and a aeatl? 1 room to do a brisk business. 1 Pure Drags S fresh and good condition. In the way of FrescriDtion xrrf.;.!.! Optical Goods Z- Trusses Fitted. All of the best and most approved -ff kept in stock. Satisfaction guaranteed. ' E rrug-it, SOMERSET? Louther's Drug Sti Main Street, Somerset, Pa, This Hodel Drug Store is Rapidly EscK&j.: Favorite with People in Searci cf FBESH . MD . PURE . DBl Medicines, Dye Stuffs, Sponge, jy Supporters, Toilet Articles, Perf umes, &c, THB DOCTOB eiVBS rEIUJOSAl. ATTESTIOB TO THE COMPOCJIDI.lii, Loutier's PrescriptionsS Family Ees; OaXAT CABS BZINO TAB IS TO USB OitXY 7BESH A5S Ft RI AmcLa SPECTACLES, EYE-GLASSY 4nd a Full Line of Optical Goods alway9 on bind. Fi large assortment all can be suited. THE FfflEST BBAIDS OF CIGi! Always on hand. It is always a pleasure to display to intending purchasers, whether they bey from us or elsewhere. J. 17!. LOUTHER M. D. MAIN STREET - - SOMERSET Somerset Lumber Yi elia-S cuisnsrnsrG HAY MABXrACTVBBB AJTD DSAXBS AJTB WHOLBSALB AD RrTAILmW Lumber and Building Material! Hard and Soft Wooq Oak. Psnlar. Kidlna-R. r l4a.it. 1 Walnut, Yellow Pine, Flooring. Kaah. Sur'4 Cherry. Shingle, Doors, Balusters. Lath, W hite Pine Blinds, Xewel Posts, lit. A cenaral line of all grades of Lumber and Building aterial and Roo?nf ' stock. Also, cad rarnlah anything in tbe Una of oar buslnew loonier tll ar Bl promptneaa, anch Brackets, odd-alaed.workjete-. Elias Cunningham, Office and Yard Opposite S. ft C. B. R. Station, Fifty-eight Years 01 acknowledged tbe country over at the leading National Family "P ReoogniziiiB; its value to tboae who deaire all tbe news of tbe Slat anil - publisher of The Somirkkt Herald, (your own favorite biue Pafr , into Bit alliance m Ith "The New-York Tribune" wbU b enables them to - paper at the trifling coat of S-JW per year. t tvery farmer snd every villager owes to himself, to hi family. u" . , miinitT In which hi. n..llul nrwi nf hia Lu-al llf DUP, stantly and untiringly Ur bit interests in every way, brine t" news snd happening of bis neighborhood, the doing of hia frIEj' ' , n.l 9mnrn f-. : HT, b . L. - I t V . a n.lVtt. ' t w W UlllCXrilb VnJLJH. lilt) UIIIT9 IU - un - - ... . .aa.1T! weekly vtaltor which should be too n.l In every wlUe-twaae, pn.- Just think of it! Both oftheae pnpers for only $2 CO a year. Hend aU orders to THE HERALD. SOwcnsCT. . IT WILL PAT TOTJ TO BUT YOCK Memorial Work or WM. F.SHAFFER, 80S! SB.SET, ttSSC A. Mannntctarer of and Dealer la Eastern Work FarttlsbAd on Bhort Notice mm 119 mini m Alio, Agent for the WHITS BRONZE I P.rvin. I Ma, r . . . - "- auuHmnil ITWI will And It to their Inkrwl to call at my allow whr a proper bowing will be given thrm Price n low. lliiluniiai.i.iii...i. Whits Bris, Or Purs Zlno Momimerts. produced by Rev. W. A. Ring, aa a dertdtd Improvement lu tha. Mini r u.a.i.i -. . Con .tract Ion, and which ia destined to be tha popular Moo a ment fur oar changeable el I- tt. a.La Dlvamaaill Wim F. Shaffer. WE HAVE BOTH OF THEjj I make it a Point to large line of IV ye . a -wuaea,,A. i we are sure to have it You are always sure of 1 6",kV! JOHN N. SNYDER, sec NEARLY It's a U rg life. )t (lvoti(ii iMerrata and pr-i -ri!y if 'tl! 1 People b won for it ne to'" years rolled by aril the original a' its family passed t tt't-ir rerJ admirer are loyal "J v with faith in its earhintpi. and -- the information ahith it burp home and fireside. r As a natural ror.xfquen.e it old aR-eall tbe vitality snJ vip'rsi streDgtbened ar.d lifentd lj 'heiV of over bal f a centu ry. It baa lived on its merits, idi lial anrr.ort of Dr erf Ssive An"-7' It ia "Tria New-York Wefk J - Lilli.u-U Bl SdTNTiITiS AS mCTlCALLY Over EOO Boautifii Design, t rf -a' V.i'J rK! . '''' .v.', i' C1 HI. a-7 S"'" " jy for lit J woswvJ