The Somerset Herald.
JSTBLISHF. ItT.
rfernis of Publication.
aed 'ery Wednday' noruin' at
"?1 ,f id tn advance, otherwise
r ,. '1 ij M " '
nptH.o will I discontinued udUI
m-'" n fld "P- Po,tm,ui,,'1, DCt'
nolifv u when subscribers do not
,,,., ,uwription.
-U-i- n-iu-vme from one postoflW lo
" (1nvE.SfTl!EiHUI,
kiii kimlt. Fa.
C.
A1 Somanaei. Pa.
L buaieraet, PeuiTa-
-r 111 Soil
u. huI.a ,o ulsfmrP wlU be at-
Al: """".Aimpaitwi ana fidelity.
c.
ATrotikv-Ar'LA
fcUl di -. - '
.Soiufcraet, Fa
..man tiouae.
Vu. !;y r ulirtll bl, PiuaDars, Fa.
V ckioieniel Fa.
rTTkVi V M. BERKLEY,
I I . ,,.1,v.ai-LAW.
UAl
burner;!, Fa.
,aiDr:-is,onliS'ul,L-
' boiueraet, Pa.
tju.erset. Pa.
l AI 1 oii. tl-Al-li
- chj lu -r5el. Pa.
9&,toPnuUK UuKoW. oppoalU. Umrt
ttjiue.
bouierael, Fa.
eouierset, Fa.
UW- AiiOiO.tVfc-Ar-LA.W,
bouieix:!. Fa.
it ' -rvt prompt Hiuuuou u bu.iua en-
valextim: hay.
V. U G. HAY.
11
AY HAY.
tHiUienset, r.
.J AllolStY-AX-A,
soiucrsel, Pa.
iuH5 O.
J Ai'iou.fcA-AT-LAW,
boiuun Fa.
ailJ W ail ftuBneffl eiitnisled I W) Ui
jwi ivc coiiroui uruct-ry slure.
J Al'iUiOi tY-AT-LA W
tkmie -t. Fa.
ir, esul s. lUi, liUes exjtui.-ued, aud all
V. J. COLBORN. L. C. COLBORN.
OLBOFJf & COLBORN,
V ArryKStY6-AT-LAW,
bouMU-set, Pa.
-AH bair enirua to our care will be
irompuvudlaiitilui!y atuuilwi UK Collec
ton. L.ue in r.uieieU Heiiionl and adjoia
'itouiu Mineyias -Hid cuuveyaocio
IT L. BAEIi,
ti. ATTOaNEY-AT-LAW,
Bomereet, Pa.
Will prwuoe In Somemet and adjoining
wau. All buMueuseulnmUsd JO tulll will
prumpi llcaUua.
a. H. OOFFROTH. W. H. RCPPEL.
OOFfKOTH & RUPPEL,
V AXTy K t YS-AT-LA W,
So inert!. Pa.
Ail buDemnistel to their care will be
li:v and puuciuaily attended to. Office
n HmIh cruM irwrt, opposite MamnioUi
liOCA.
HI. MAIiSDEX, M. D.,
FUYMflA.N aud SL'K'iKON,
csuLurrncL, Pa.
(liom Firt National Bank.
tit '.i iiimiu tuvrti to me ore of the
iic U Ui- intiuieltl ol throlilf dlbeaaeK.
Ci.lk at oUK't. 'IcltpLolie.
W. CAP.orr'ER.S. M. I).,
J PHlsa-N."iDlRotU.N,
SoinerwC. Fa.
on Puj. trwt. eppokibe V. B
'slca.jatu!Ec-
DR. P. F. SHAFFER.
''HYMCIAN AS M RiKON,
itl-t nit profw)onai Bn icMi tn tbe citl- I
iis!,3,..M-i a:nj vn inily. office onruer '
D
S. J. M. LOUTH ER.
I'HYMCIAN and sURiFJN.
oa M;u :rrt, rir of Drug store
D
S-.H. S. K I MM ELL,
te h. profeioiial nervicts to tbe clU
j Soti.rrt .ad vicmitv. 1'nlvM pro
y eaa(rti tie can be (uuud at Ul of
00 au. imi at ifiamoud-
)H.J RMcMILLEX,
OraUuatr 10 itenuatry.)
illp"rft ' uu',a to lh prewrvaUon
J tan i wia. Artifitiai 8eU luerted.
ii-J3.;k ,Kr'urtil''ei H)tactor. Uttice
tu1?' u L-v,. co' atore.
-1 -ron and Fainol itreet.
C. B. COFFROTH,
F uneral Director.
t1 U Min St Residence,
Stt Patriot BL.
pRAXK a FLUCK,
inir,a Land Surveyor
PETIVE MUTUAL FIRE
t.u., BERLIN, PA,
"wraneeat actual coat bv insur-
p- petty. Wriu? for information.
JAC. J. ZORN,
Secretary.
Undertaker and Embalmer.
AQOOD hearse.
nt to fnneraia fum
kiid.
- Pa
VOL. XLYIL NO. JU.
A Fleshy
Consumptiv
Did you ever see one?
Did you ever hear of one ?
Most certainly not. Con
sumption is a disease that
invariably causes loss of
flesh.
If you are light in weight,
even if your cough is only
a slight one, you should
certainty take
Ssslf s gmuslicn
of cod U'orr oil tviih hypo
phosphitts. No remedy
is such a perfect prevent
ive to consumption. Just
the momenr your throat
begins to weaken and you
find you ere losing flesh,
you should begin to take it.
And no other remedy
has cured so many cases
of consumption. Unless
you are far advanced with
this disease, Scott's Emul
sion will hold every in
ducement to , you for a
perfect cure.
All Drncc sts mc- and ft.
its V. V
VlrlrlrlrKVWrWl VyvwVWVH
THE
First MMal Bat
Somerset, Penn'a
Capita!, S50.000.
Surplus, S37 ,000.
uno,vSF.ts S.3000.
CCPOSlTS 'CCCIVC i"UHIIOlill
MOUNT. AYLl on otmamo
ACCOUNTS O' (CNl'tJ 'ARMfaa,
TOCK CCAUKS, anuOTHEPB BOLlCITCO
DISCOUNTS DAILY
BOARD OF DIRECTORS.
CH AS. O. SI'l'LU ifcX. R WT1.L,
JAMK U JT'.H, W. H. MIU.KK.
JjHi li. riruTT. P.OBT. . hCUlA,
FKhli V. EIEhEcKKR
KDWAHDN-nj, : : PRH'KNT.
V 1LKNTINK HAY. : VICE Ik hl I -KNT.
HAKVtY it. KKKKLEY. :ASaiEh.
rtif tunds xnd Recuritteo of V.'.t Oank r.
enrely prot-!ed in a el-orteti ('OW.1BS Bra
ih.irPkoof 4ac Tne only safe uiaUeabBO
Ltely burnUr-proof.
Jicob D. Swank,
Watchmaker and Jeweler,
Next Joor Went of Lutheran Church,
Somerset, - Pa.
I Am Now
prepared to supply the public
w ith Clocks, Watches, and Jew
elry of all descriptions, as Cheap
aa the Cheapest.
HEPAIHIXG A
SPECIALTY.
All work guaranteed. Look at my
stock before making your
purchases.
j. d. SWANK.
KEFFER'S NEW SHOE STORE!
MEN'S BOYS'. WCHETj'S. GIRLS' and CHILDREN'S
SHOES, OXFORDS usd SLIPPERS.
Black and Tan. Latt .Styles and Shapes
at lowest
....CASH PRICES- -
Adjoining Mm A. E. Uhl, South-east
corner of square.
SOMERSET, PA.
PVn.l tnrxit sofllv and
p. ..a nnvnifisL c l i v u v .
I . r." - , 1 . r.m
Mil. r; L '..
i-a testive scene noi iuiuu
bv -axen cautucsi.
The lijt tbal hetuhtens
beauty' charm, that piveitlic
finished toiu-li to tbc drawing
roo:a or dimiij; room, is me
mcllo--'' glow of
mom.
VJRX CANDLES
i . - , .......
!S.ilJ in all colors anu f.u.ii.
to harmonize irith any interior
hangttigs or decorations.
ManttfarturPd y
n MI n
ICa Koraiileevererej
Get an Education
The baat outfit la bfa. ioi aaad M
CENTRAL STATE K2RSUL SCHOOL
L(K HAVtS (Clat Ce., FA.
Stner faahr. TAhd aw t HhTMT,
Buoara tpianui m iaUravorr and f ymaa
sv baD1eoia tf'iiliim am-sira r-i'lfc
k&ortMt Urns a J ., w.va M V a
a.nfa a adii.tma to ra:a oaiaWi
t.a work to u ri Id Mow,aion(iaaJ.Trpe"
writ'oa. ka4 UiaOTl4 caairra.
aBU IUWI. raj, friOTi, Ud -
JMM 50 YEARS'
-EXPERIENCE
u!rsl aa.rla.ii pr oii fr itl
t., auTrtW 'va.DdMlua luwlh. on Hateroa
,Tfrn.,t ar..-y lo,.-rmg :rlr.
l-ainta laaen Waco Co. fote
tpmji jhA.ua, !i.tu U.a-vn. ia tbe
Scientific Jitr.sritaa.
I'Uh'N & Co.",8-"'-Hew Ycrk
III V V V "S. .
I'l l
i n V,-r-irrir4
THE LAND OF COTTNTESPANE.
When 1 ns ick and lay abed,
I bad two pillows at my hii.
And all my toy tieyide me Wy
To keep ue happy all tbe day.
And Foiiieliineii for an hour or to
I watched ny )aden loldien go.
With different uuiforiun and dnlln,
Among the beiiolotlies through the biila.
And aometiine sent my ship tn floeta
All up and down among the heet ;
Or lroucht my treex and houws out.
And planted citl- all about.
I was the gianl, great and Hill,
Tliat nils umju the pillow-hill.
Anil tree before hint, dale and plain,
That pleuwint land of rounterpane.
llobert Louis levennoh.
A BELATEiT FUNERAL.
The minister hwked up as the c&te
clicked. He was shoveling tbe snow
from . his walk, and scratching the
lumps of ice with bis shovel from the
two narrow boards which ran from the
front door to the street.
"Could you take a funeral to mor
row "'" asked MLs Caldwell, pausing
before liim.
The minister pushed back his warm
cap and looked up.
"A funeral?" he repeated, bewilder
ed. "Who's dead?"
"Amos Dyer," replied Miss Caldwell,
grimly.
"Amos Dyer! Amos Well, Sarah, I
guet you'd letter oome in and tell me
a little more," said the old man, lead
ing the way,
The minister's study had an outside
door, eany of access for small children;
easy, too, for those in trouble to slip
iuto from the darkness- without being
seen by curious eyes. There was no
need of locking the door; no one want
ed the doctor's commentaries, nor the
shabby hoie-hair-covered sofa, nor the
sleepy-hollow chair by the stove.
Tbe minister stood his shovel in the
the corner of the porch and opened the
door. Miss Caldwell sat down in tbe
sofa comer and took elf her shawl.
"Amos Dyer, I said," she began. "I
kne v it's a little late in the day, but
still, a funeral's a funeral, ai.d he never
had one."
"No," said Dr. IJarlow, "that is true
enough. But be has been buried a
year, and I see no reason why he
should have one now. To open up that
story "
"Certainly. That's what I say. But
he has to have a funeral, nevertheless.
I'll tell you all about it if you will listen
a few minutes.
"I've been down to New York for a
week, visiting Lucy. I ala ays go about
this time, and we go around together
and look at the shop windows and buy
little things for Jack's stocking"
"How is Jack, by the way?" inter
rupted the minister. "I heard he wasn't
well."
"Jut you wait, Dr. Marlow, I'm
coming to thst," said Miss Caldwell,
portentiously. "Well, as I was saying,
we have a good time together onoe a
year, Lucy and I, just as if we were
girls again.
"But the minute I got there this year
I saw something was the matter. Lucy
looked worried, and Jack was just mis
erablejust miserable, Dr. Marlow! as
pale and thin! But I didn't say a word
at first. I looked all around their little
flat the' ve just moved to a new one
and said how cozy it was. And we had
oysters for supper, and Jack didn't want
any, though I knew they didn't often
have them. But still I didn't ask a
question. And at last Jack went to
bed, and when he kissed me and I saw
his ryes look so sad, I just wanted to
cry. Then Lucy came and sat down
by me and said:
" 'arah, I never needed you more.
Do you see how ill Jack looks ?'
Miss Caldwell paused and searched
for her handkerchief.
"I just love that cbiid," she apolo
gized, wiping her eyes. "Weil, I tried
to pooh-pooh it; said he was growing
fast, and was thin, and all that, because
I saw she was so distressed, but she
wouldn't listen.
" '.Sarah,' said she, just us solemn
'Sarah, that boy Is grieving hirosiif to
death because his father had no fu
neral r
"Nonsense! said I. He doesn't eveu
remember his father!
"Perhaps if he rememiered more
about hiiu he would not be sorry he
was buried quietly,' said Lucy.
"Then she went on to teil that Ja k
ha a strong remembrance of the old
home up here. He knows ju-t how
the bous looks, and draws dozens of
pictures of it, with the big white pil
lars and the elms in front He remem
bers how his father held him on his
pony and let him ride up and down.
And he re rut niters how in summer the
people of the village used to come and
have tea on the lawn, and how he used
to march up aud down like a little
prince and pick flowers for them."
"So he did," murmured Dr. Marlow,
stirring tbe fire "so he did."
"And then be forgets," said Miss
Ca'd well, bet voice trembling. "Thank
Heaven! he forgets. He knows noth
i lg of the dpfadful climax of it all. )(
how Araoa Dyer was found out to be a
mere swindler. Of the bank failure,
and all the poor depositors besieging
that house and shrieking for their mon
ey. Will you ever, ver forget that
night, doctor?"
The minister shook his gray head.
"It was a dark titue for Norwood,"
he said, simply.
"And there it all ended. The bal
loon collapsed. Amos disappeared in
the darkness, without a word of good
bye even to Mary. Aid poor. Lucy's
money was lost too, so she and Mary
took tbe boy aud went to the city and
went to work, and la a year she died."
"Poor thing!" whispered the doctor
to himself. He had baptized her,
watched her grow from babyhood to
womanhood; married ber, with some
misgivings, to the brilliant stranger
who was dazzling tbe quiet village with
his splendor. He had baptized her
baby boy, too, aud named him for his
mother' father, the good old Judge,
whom everjbody honored; and that
day he had seen the change in Mary's
face. The jny of life was over, except
as she could tind it in her baby.
Aod he had burled her. How sig
nincant had the word of the prayer
aounded: "It hath pleased Almighty
G l of W (jrtut wicrf.y to take ui to
li roi 'lf the soul of our dear sWer "
K' V JL Ji.iL
SOMERSET, PA,,
Yes, he couid not sorrow when Mary
died. It was a mercy.
"Well," broke in Miss Caldwell,
"when her sister was gne poor Lucy
was alone, the had a bard struggle,
as you know well enough, doctor. It
would have been harder but for you.
But they managed somehow lo live,
and Jack was such a comfort! But
when niirht came and Lucy put her
work away, he would cuddle il wu iu
her lap every single evening and say,
Tell roe about my father.' Aud w bat
could she do?
"Could she say 'Your father was a
thief?' No. She said she tried at first
to put him off, but it was no use, and
at last she just yielded she says she
knows it was weak and told of every
good or kind thing she could think of.
Amos loved the praise of men, you
know that, doctor, aud he did give his
fruit, and il wers to the sick, and sent
his carriage for the old ladies to ride in,
and gave money to the poor. Oh yes,
I'll give the devil his due! Cheap kind
nesses that did not hurt him and that
brought applause were delightful to
him."
"Perhaps, Sarah," began Dr. Mar
low, charitably, "we do not do him
justice. IViH-iMy if we knew all"
"Don't, doctor!" she interrupted, al
most fiercely. "I can't hear you ex
cuse Lim. Swindling wasn't his worst
sin. He was bad all through. His evil
deeds rose up wherever his foot step
ped. Norwood people weren't the only
sufferers. But there! you know it as
well as I do.
"But Lucy never told Jack a word of
all that. And when he would say,
'Where is my father now?' she would
tell him he had lost his money andwas
somew here out West earniug more.
And that dear child would say:
" 'When I'm a uiau I'll go anil help
him!1
"Little he realized how his father
cared nothing for his own child, wheth
er he lived or died.
"And then Amos was killed stab
bed In a quarrel over cards among des
peradoes in Mexico. It was a natural
enough ending for him. Lucy wanted
him buried there, of course. There
was no reason why his body should be
brought here. I never understood why
it was brought myself."
"I had it brought," said the minis
ter, sternly. "It was not fitting that
the man whom I had married to Mary,
whose child I had named, should lie
like a dog in the sand where he died.
Mary would not have wished it. She
forgave him, oor child! I ought to
know, for I was there when she died.
Lucy can not forgive. She feels that
he killed her sister and Impoverished
Jack; but Mary Mary forgave."
"Well, anyhow, he was buried npon
the hill," Continued Mis Caldwell,
"and uo one koew when but the sexton
and you, doctor. Even the townspeo
ple did not find out for weeks. It was
cleverly managed, and I daresay it was
just as well, fur there are some poor
folks in this place who would not want
him uear them, living or dead.
"However, Lucy bad to tell Jack bis
father was dead. She said she could
not help being relieved to think he
would gradually forget him. Her con
science had always troubled her for let
ting tbe little boy believe his father
was a good man. But it was before
Jack got over the shock. You know
how dreadfully sensitive and tender
hearted he is, and he has been so much
with grown people that he isn't a bit
like an ordinary child. Suddenly one
day he asked 'Aunt Lucy, where is my
father buried?'
"And when she said, 'In Norwood,
by your mother,' he jut fixed tho
big eyes ou her and said, as if he were
a man, 'And why did we not go to tbe
funeral ?'
"Aud she didn't know what to say.
She felt like a criminal. Aud ever
since that boy has just mourned and
mourned.
"His dear noble father, so handsome,
so grand, so good and kiud to every
body! To have no funeral, when even
the or people in the city have a leau
tiful hearse and carriage! And his lit
tle heart is j ist bar J to his aunt, and to
j-iu, and to all the people up here; and
he is grieving himsuif lo death Mary's
boy and I say its a sha t e!-'
"It Is a shame," said the minister,
hastily. "The child's whole nature
may tie hopelessly warped. Something
must be done."
"That's what I raid," replied Miss
Caldwell. But iviUxly must know, or
we may have a scene. I told Lucy I
would talk to you, and I knew you
would speak just as you have spoken;
and to she is coming up to-morrow
morning with Jack, and I'm to meet
her, and we will go to the cemetery,
and meet you there if you say so."
She pinned ber shawl together and
rose to go.
"You're a good woman, Sarah," said
the minister, laying his band on her
shoulder.
"I'm not jood. Don't you dare to
say so," she replied, huskily. "I just
hate Antos Dyer, If he Is dead, aod I
can't help it, But he shall have a fu
neral If it will cure Mary's boy." And
she went out.
From the gate to the Judge's lot a
path had been dug, and the shfuing
blocks of snow were piled high on
either sit-e. Amos Deer's grave was
bidden by green branches aud a few
bright geraniums picked from the min
ister's wiudow box. It was all very
peaceful there In the early morning.
The quiet and purity were In strange
contrast to the life of turmoil whose
tragic ending was to be commemorated.
Presently the little funtral party came
up the walk. Dr. Marlow led Jack by
the hand, and the two women followed.
They atood about the grave, and the
minister opened his Bible.
"Though I speak with the tongues of
men and of angels, and have not char
ity" the words of the beautiful chap
ter might havebeeu a fitting eulogy for
a good man. To the sun who believed
bis father to be all that was best, they
were a just tribute of praise, while to
the two women who condemned they
sounded a reproach.
The minister closed the book and be
gan to speak.
"We might say many kind things to
day of hla who lie here. For sever!
years he live-J among us, and numbrr
of his old neighbor, couj J tell of gen
JL kJVy
ESTABLISHED 1827.
WEDNESDAY. FEBRUARY 1. 1899.
erous things he did for them. There
w re long, beautiful summer days wheu
they walked in his garden among the
flowers. There were sick children
whose lives were brightened by gifts of
fruit from his own vines and trees.
There were women, old and feeble, who
had restful drives in his carriage. As
j his pastor, I often aked him for money
to relieve suffering, and I was never re
fused. In every life there is much to
be forgiven. We maj not speak of that
to day. We see through a glass darkly.
Let us rather remember that charity
which thinketh to evil."
The minister paused. It was hard to
speak, with Jack's earnest, loyal eyes
fixed on him.
"May we all remember to le kind.
May this dear boy grow up to be hon
orable, truthful, upright In word and
deed. May the jioor and sorrowing
find in him a loving, helpful friend.
So shall his lifc be bessed, and be shall
leave behind bim an honored name!
It us pray." .
The minister's voice faltered as he
a.-ked for tendt rnesa of heart, for the
charity that never faileth, for carnest
ne s of purise, and for strength for
noble living. Aud then he pronounced
the benediction.
But Jack's face was troubled.
"They always sing at funerals," he
whispered to his aunt.
"You sing, Jack," said Dr. Marlow.
Jack paused to think for a moment,
and then his clear voice began,
"There' a luud that 1 fairer than day.
And by 6u In we can aee it sfur.
For our Father w:tlu over the way,
To prepare ut a dwelling-place there."
Tears had never fallen on Amos Dy
er's grave. On the head below bad
been heaped curses by those whose
lives he had wrecked. Deceit and
shame had been the record he had left
behind him. But as the listeners heard
the voice of his little sou who bore a
di-honored name, their tears fell fast.
That night Jack hung up his stock
ing, and gleefully made bis aunt hang
up hers. He wt.s a happy boy again; a
great 1-md had been lifted from his
heart. His father had bad a funeral!
"It wasn't a very grand one, was it?"
he said as lie was tucked up in led. "So
few there! I suppose they did not know
about it, we decided in such a hurry to
have it to day. Of course, if they had
known, all the people would have come.
But it was a very nice funeral, anyhow.
I thought what t lie minister said was
beautiful, of how good father was, and
how everybody loved him. I mean to
grow up to be just that kiud of a man,
and at my funeral perhaps some one
will talk just that way about rue!"
Lucy could not sleep. She sat long
at the wiudow, looking up at the stars
and tbinkiug of the past of her sister
killed in her nr-rt youth by grief aud
shame; of the boy who must grow up
motherlest and fatherless; of her o n
impoverished, lonely life.
Forgive the mau who had wrought
all this evil change?
Just at that moment the midnight
bells rang out. Over the roofs of happy
homes their deep, sweet tontssoundtd.
She opened the window aud stood lis
tening. A distant by ma floated iu:
Hark, the herald aneU cinti
Cilory to the new born King ;
Peace on earth and mercy mild,
Uod and alnner reconciled.
She sank ou her knees and the pa.'t
was forgotten.
"Peace on earth, good will to men,"
souuded in her heart, aud Christmas
had . come. Caroline B. Burrell, in
Harjer's Bazar.
He Needed Them Soon.
"How soon can I get a set of teeth ?"
This question was pronounced in the
oifiee of an Oil City dentist, by a man
who seemed to be in a hurry.
"I'm pretty busy,: replied the tooth
carpenter, "but I'll eudeavor to get
them out for you next week."
"Next week nothing," responded the
calhr, "I've got to have them right
away. I have an engagement out of
towu, which I must keep, aud I
can't get along without some teeth."
' "Can't you use the old ones until next
week ?"
' Well, I guess not."
Why?"
"Because they are goue."
"Gone where ?"
"D.wn the river ; they went out with
the ice."
' How's that?"
"Why, I was on my w:y t ) the sta-ti-n.
When coming over the river I
had to sneeze. I turned my head over
the railing and the first thing I knew
the darned thiugs flew out of my
mouth. I mw them laud on a chunk
of ice, which 11 mted olF down the riv
er. I was owerless to reach them,
aud here I am."
After being Informed that he would
have to subsist on soup for a few days
he started for the train. O.l City
Blizzard.
The Ravage of Grip.
That modern scourge, the Grip,
poisons the air with its fatal germs, so
that no home is safe from its ravages,
but multitudes have found a sure pro
tection against this dangerous malady
in Dr. King's New Discovery. When
you feel a soreness la your bones and
muscles, have chills and fever, with
sore throat, pain in the back of the
head, catarrhal symptoms and a stub
born cough you may know you have
the ti rip, and that you need Dr. King's
New Discovery. It will promptly
: cure the worst cough, heal tbe inllam
j ed membranes, kill the disease germs
j and prevent the dreaded after effects of
the malady. Trice aO cents and fl.OO.
Money back If not cured. ( A trial
bottle free at J. N. Snyder's Drug
Store, Somerset, Pa., and O. W. Bral
lier'a Drugstore, Berlin, Pa.
A D sable Headed BaU.
On the occasion of a public reception
at Napier, Australia, the school chil
dren of the town, after being duly
complimented by his Excellency from
County Tyrone on the hearty raauuer
in which they bad rendered the na
tional anthem, were solemnly assured
that if they put their shoulders to the
w heel they would le sure to reach the
top of the tree- Upon which a corn
pit riot turned to me aod said; "Sure,
it wn an axletree be meant, badad. "
Ti e Spectator.
ID
Fan in Cosgre.
Representative Lewis, of Washing
ton, one of the bright wits and racon
teurs of the House, told this story in
the course of a good-humored running
debaU with General Grosvenor, of
Ohio:
I am reminded of an incident related
of a gambler on the Mississippi River.
After pursuing his vocation foralong
time ou the steamers of that stream it
came to his lot to be converted and to
become a Baptist clergyman, after
which it became bis pleasant duty to
engage in the Immersion of his fellow
beings whom he had succeeded in con
vening to his creei. Upon one par
ticular occasion the banks of that noble
stream were lined with people to watch
one of these baptisms of this reformed
gambler. It bad been long heralded
that this particular preacher was to
baptize new converts to his faith. But
the old gentleman had a little grandson
who well knew his grandfather's past
predilections, and who, lief re the per
formance was to take place, managed
to slip iuto the old man's pocket a
pack of cards.
Tne time came f r the baptism; and
the old gentleman, amid the hosannas
of the throng, proceeded into the water
when all at once there slipped from his
pocket out upou the stream an ace of dia
monds, theu a king, then queen,
and a jack, and fdlowing that a ten
spot. When the boy's mother saw
this she knew what had happeued,
and, whitened with dismay, she turn
ed to him and said, "Oh, Jackey, what
have you done? Dear, dear, your
poor old grandpa will never get out of
there alive." "What's d.it?" said
Jackey. "Never git out of dere alive?
Well, if grandpa can't get out ou dat
hand, lie aiu't de man he used to be !"
Oar New Ambassador to England,
There is very little grumbling over
the appointment of Mr. Joseph Choate
as Ambassador to London. The most
prevalent opinion is that Mr. Choate
fits the place in more particulars than
any oue else who could bo named.
Whenever we do anything to make the
British hopping mad, w hich may hap
pen any day, it will be the greatest
advantage to have Mr. Choate iu Lon
don to explain about it So long as
our cousins look as favorably on us as
they do at present it will be a satisfac
tion to feel that in sending them Mr.
Cboate we have shown a proper ap
preciation of the value of their favor
able regard. Mr. Choate can do every
thing well that becomes an ambassador.
He can hunger and thirst after right
eousness, if need be, but at other times
he can eat, drink, talk, and listen. He
can discuss, argue, baggie, ask ques
tions, placate, pacify, threaten, bluff,
promise, and charm. Considering his
distinction as a talker, it is astonishing
what an able listener he is. The chief
risk our ambassador at Iondon runs
just now is of being killed with kind
ness, but Mr. Choate is as nearly im
mune to that as any oue can be, though
it is worth noting that he was not born
so early in the thirties as to have seri
ously Impaired his capacity for having
a good time. That is important. Oar
representative in London ought to have
just as good a time as is consistent with
due solicitude for the welfare of his
fellow-countrymen. The more fun Mr.
Choate has in London, tbe better we
shall all like it, for experience teaches
that the man whom London best likes,
and who best likes Loudon, is the most
profitable sort of representative for us
to have.
It is to be regretted that the Laidlaw
case comes back into the courts on the
eve of Mr. Choate's departure. As
will be remembered, Laidlaw was the
man who was blown up by a bomb in
tended for Mr. Russell Saie. Mr.
Choate agreed with him that Mr. Stge
ought to pay him damages, and was
his counsel in a suit which has been
tried four times. At the last trial Laid
Iaw got a verdict of fK.OOO, but the
Court of Appeals has just upset it and
ord-retl the case to be tried again.
E. S. Mirtin, ia Harper's Weekly.
Spain's Greatest Need.
Mr. R. P. Olivia, of Barcelona, Spain,
spends hii winters at Aiken, S. C.
Weak nerves had caused severe pains
in the back of his head. On using
Electric Bitters, America's greatest
Blood and Nerve Remedy, all the pain
soon left him. He says this grand
medicine is what his couutry needs.
All America knows that it cures liver
and kidney trouble, purifies the blood,
tones up the stomach, strengthens the
nerves, puts vim, vigor and new life
into every muscle, nerve and organ of
the body. If weak, tired or ailing you
need It. Every bottle guaranteed, only
oO cents. Sold at J. N. Snyder's Drug
Store, Somerset, Pa., and G. V. Bral
lier's Drug Store, Berlin, Ta.
Pass Tarns Acrobat.
Joseph Williams, an uptown young
man, is the possessor of a handsome
Makes 3 cat which bids fair to be a won
der in Its line, says the Philadelphia
Press. Unlike other felines, this cat
his a great fondues for water, and
seems to be real happy on washdays,
when he regularly takes a bath in the
blueing water after the clothes have
been removed from the tub. Another
peculiar trait Is the auimal'a ability to
eat any kind of food and fruits and
nuts, especially peanuts, are his spe
cialty. But the most amusing performance
of this gifted pet Lakes place whenever
Mr. Williams' wife hs occasion to
string up the clothesline in the yard.
At such times tbe cat takes great de
light in doing a little tight-rope act and
follows the clothesline In its. zigzag
course from fence to fence, never mak
ing a misstep, and conMauing the per
formance for hours at a time. The cat
has fur of a beautiful shade, which has
probably lsen enhanced by his baths
in the blueing water, and Mr. Williams
has refused several generous cash offers
for the animal.
Dyspepsia bane of human existence.
Burdock Blood Bitter cures it prompt
ly, permanently. Regulates and tones
the stomach.
If ! T 1
JLL i CvD JL HiL o
Carious Birth Statistics-
At the next meeting of the Society
for Physical Research one of the in
teresting subjects that probably will
comeiip for discussion, according to the
New York Press will be the remark
able increase in the number of births
of boys over girls which the vital sta
tistics of New York show in the mouth
of November aud up to the present time
this month. It will have a direct bear
ing on the theory of pre-natal influence
in the regulation of sex, as advanced by
Dr. Scheiick, ayd which has beeu sup
ported and combated by eminent phy
siologists throughout the world.
By those who indorse the Schenck
theory it Is maintained that the increase
in the ratio cannot be simply a coinci
dence, con fined to one particular sec
tion, because a similar ratiocf increase
of birthsof males over females is shown
iu the statistics of nearly all the large
cities, and it is offered as a ppwf tbat in
the grand compensation of nature the
martial spirit aroused by the war with
Spain is responsible for the production
of material for future soldiers.
B'ston, Philadelphia, Sl Louis, Sun
Francisco and Chicago all present the
same proportionate increase as New
York.
"And it is natural that it should te
so," said a physiologist yesterday. "A
thousand years before Dr. Schenck was
Uirn it was observed that after wars the
male births exceeded the fetnal in the
ratio" of 100 to 75 and h to In the
Alexandrian wars this fact was noted
and commented upon by the philoso
phers of the day, aud the reverse was
true in the decline of the Roman em
pire, when the people fell into sloth
ful habits and enervating luxuries.
The number of girls increased and the
boys were not robust,
"All peoples who maintained their
martial vigor, after losing many men
in armed conflict, as the Mecedonians
did, lived to see the male population
brought up nearly to the standard that
it had before the' natural protectors
were slain. The martial spirit that de
velops into activity the destrutiveness
nf man and arouses the latent heroim
aud self-sacrifice of women basuuq'its
tionably an influence ou the future rate
and the division of the sexes.
"A people long given to the pursuits
of peace and reaching a planeof civili
zation that renders them effete become
the mothers and fathers of girls. The
nearer that man reaches the primeval
condition of maintaining life by force
of arms the greater the cumber of male
children that are born. The early
American Indian demonstrated this in
the extraordinary disproportion of the
sexes, the male predominating in all the
warlike tribes."
What's in a Same?
Let us consider the sad case of Mr.
Posselwkz'e, He is in love with a
young woman, who also loves him.
But she objects strongly to lecoming
Mrs. Posselwizzle. She thinks that the
name is inharmonious and absurd.
The unhappy man points out the fact
that "the Posselwizzles have always
been a respectable and respected fam
ily," and that he cannot endure the
thought of abandoning his father's and
grandfather's name. This Is certainly
proper pride on his part, and if the
lady really loves bim, as he thinks she
does, she will respect bim for it and
yield her prejudices. As a matter of
fact, we see nothing objectionable in
Posselwizzle. It is unfamiliar, to be
sure, but there is an advantage in that.
There are other names which might
just as readily raise a smile on the lips
of the thoughtless if they were less
common. We advise Mr. Posselwiz
zle to- stick to his guns. Providence
Journal.
Dag Talks Through Telephone.
Among the passengers who alighted
at Redhill station in England tbe other
day, says a French contemporary, was
a young lady who al ouce sought out
the station master and complained,
with tears in ber eyes, that she had lost
her pxxiie at iteigate station. The
station master telephoned to his col
league at litigate, who replied that
there was, in fact, at that moment iu
his oiik-e a dog which answered to the
description given of the missing poodle,
and which was found wandering about
the stati m.
The lady requested to have the ear
of the dog placed to the telephone re
ceiver, and proceeded to call him by
name. The anlmil immediately rec
ognized the voice of its mistress, began
to bark, and endd by jumping up on
the instrument, at the other end of
which its mistress was speaking to
her favorite, which was soon restored
to her.
Cat Dies for Her Master.
During tbe hurricane that prevailed
here last night the steamer Wild wood,
lying at her dock, went to the bottom
of the bay, says the Seattle Past-Intelligencer.
At the time of sinking, one man was
aboard and asleep. The boat's eat
when tbe water nearly reached the
sleeper's bunk, scratched the man in
the face and was ka-x-ked into the
water in the cabin for her pitas. The
cat again g it on the bunk and again
scratched the man in the face, and at
the sam time howled s vigorously as
to thoroughly awaken the sleeper, who
started up to put the Citon deck, when
he discovered that the boat was sink
ing. Ha made a rush for the deck just
as the vessel was going to the bottom,
and succeeded in reaching the mast;
on which he climh! and saved him
self from drowning.
Ilia lusty yells attracted Capt. Fife, of
the steamer Angeles, and was rescued,
but the brave cat perished.
- There has been legislaiion enough to
protect sheep. The problem is how to
keep the dogs in check. Dgs can eas
ily go through a barbed wire feuce, or
w ill dig under it, hence there is no in
expensive way to protect sheep. As
sheep graie in the eveaing, after the
sun kx-s down, as a protection against
heat iu summer, they cannot be con
fined at night in a building, and it will
not pay to employ a watchman, unless
the Cock Is very large.
WHOLE NO. 2179.
He laid the Ghost
"When houses are haunted the usual
cure for the annoyance is to have them
rebuilt and rechristeued," writes Mr.
Fletcher Moss, in his "Folk-Lore, Cus
tom and Tales " Another method is
that used by Mr. Mia when he became
the owner of tbe old parsouage of
Didsbury, which had a bad recitation
for leing haunted.
When Mr. Moss first went to tbe
house the noises in the night were ex
traordinary; bells were rung when
every one was asleep, there were sounds
as if a bdy hail fallen, squeals and
screams were heird, followed by a rush
as th mh cavalry were galloping. Mr.
Miss investigated and discovered a
communication between the stables
aad the roof of the parsonage. The
rats nightly invaded the house, jumped
dou on the ceiling, used the bell
wires as parallel b trs, rung the bells,
squealed, moaned, and if alarmed rush
eJ away like frightened sheep.
One night Mr. Moss was aroused by
his mother. There was something in
her bedroom that every few moments
gave a piercing scream, lie sat down
by her bedside and waited. It was a
dark uight, wild and wmdy. He dozed
off and was suddenly awakened by a
horrible shriek, which died away in
jerk. A thorough search revealed
nothing, and he again waited, but
wideawake.
Agaiu the scieani came, piercing,
curdling. Thinking it came from the
window, and miht he the howl of a
maniac outside, he got behind the cur
tain, and waited. A wl'd scream close
to his ear alrai'ist stopkied the beating
of his heart. Pulling himself together,
he fouud the "ghost.'
There was a fractured pane of glass,
the cracked piece being of the shap of
an isosceles triangle, with the equal
sides a'lotit nine inches loug and the
bxse one inch. A string gust of wind
blew open this glas triaugle whose
apex held ou tthe pine, and from the
three-sided opening came the scream.
A bit of paper in the crack laid that
ghost.
Pictures for Boys.
"Do tell me where I can get any
really good pictures of Indians for my
boy's room," said an officer of the Pub
lic School Art Society. Three wteks
ago he said: "Mamma, F don't waut
any more littlest. Johns iu myrotnt.
Aud Birdie can have all those angel
pictures. If any more aunts are going
to give me things I wish they'd buy In
nians or fellows fightiug or playing
foot-ball or something like that,' Real
ly, when I came to look at his room
I did not wonder. Dick loves pictures
and he has a large rooao that is the
meetiug place for all the boys in the
neighborhood, so we have all taken
pleasure in giving him thing to fix it
up. We were determined that every
picture should represent high art, so
be ha Raphael's Cherubs, Murillo's
(J jardian Angel, Sir Joshua's Cherubs,
Delia Robbia's Innocents, aud actually
I counted three young John the Bap
sists after famous paintings.
"I have cleared them all out for him.
They can go into the nursery, or Birdie
will like one or two, and I want the
dear Innocents myself, to hang over my
desk. There is not a thing on Dick's
walls now but a photogmph of the b y
Charles II , with a d g and some col
ored print of naval battles that he cut
out himself from a weekly paper. His
father is going to have one large ex
pensive picture framed for him and ia
hesitating between' three, all 'lighting'
pictures, and I regret to say, a'l mod
era French works Dctailles"S.ilutIng
the Wounded," De Neuville's "The
Last Cartridges," and Gerome's gladia
tors I am never sure of the Dame
'Poll ice Verso,' I thiuk. I want him to
have one more little inexpensive
thing."
The Dog Reporter.
Bob, a fox terrier that belongs to tbe
chief of one of the Wash iugton news
paper bureaus, is generally known
along" Newspaper R w a "the dog re
porter."' The correspondent of the De
troit News-Tribune tells why.
There are some sanctums that the
ordinary reporter does not dare to
enter, unless especially invited; not so
with Bob. His nerve is supreme. He
starts out each morning with great
regularity to make the rounds of the
treasury department. White House and
war, state and navy building, usually
accompanying one of the reporters of
the bureau. If they are behind time
he goes on hL own hook.
He is known in practically all the
departments, and when be comes alone
orficials discreetly conceal all letters or
other document which may have news
In t hem, because Bob will never leave
an office without some tangible proof
that he has called. A few week ago
he wa discovered by Sretary Gage
calmly walking out of his office with a
bundle of letters presented by a West
ern congressman in behalf of a con
stituent who wanted a position. Bob
was greatly aggrieved when the mes
senger forcibly relieved him of his
"scoop."
Bob also frequently pays his respects
to the President. Unlike most callers,
Bb always set's the chief magistrate
when the spirit move. him so to do,
and incidentally, in his demonstrations
of delight over a Dewey victory or some
other little achievement, he paws the
crease i out of the President's trousers.
That Throbbing Headache
Would quickly leave you, if you used
Dr King's New Life Pills. Thousands
of sufierer have proved their match
less merit for Sick and Nervous Head
aches. They make pure blood and
strong nerves and build up your health.
Easy t take. Try them. Only 'S
cents. Money back if not cured. Sold
at J. N. Saydor's Drug Store. Somerset,
Pa., and G. W. Brallier'a Drug Store,
Berlin, Pa.
Tbe highest assessed piece of land in
Boston a lot at the northwest cottier
of Washington and Winter streets, con
taining I V square feet was sold the
other diy for irn'.GOO, or at the rate of
$ i30 per squire foot. This was $ t"j,030
out; thau iU asse&tei value.
To Find Prime Bfef Cut.
The prime steer us-d for beef pur
pose weighs about iM) pounds. Of
this amount there is In the carcass two
set of first "quality ribs, consisting of
seven rib iaeach set ani weitc
aboj for'y p-utrid p-r ?'. Therms'
ab to llt we';!o- 3'ji frl
poua it i h. Tufe i. ou an avers ji.
pouud.) of choice lie-f i;i rat h well
regulated steer, but some butchers tave
been known tn sdl portertiinisB from
earca after everything was gone) tut
the horns. Th remainder of the Uef,
after the choicest ha. lieeu cut away, i
filled tbe "misnomer," from the furl
that it sells at a lower price. A large)
percentage of the most nutritious meat
is found in the coarser cuts, but nearly
every one demands part of the 17
pounds, which is a false Idea of domes
tic economy as well as judgment.
Practical experience ha shown that
the utilization of the chucks, the be-t
part of the round, the rump, flank, the
peate and brisket gives the best result.
and is conducive of better health than
the highT-pr!eed meats. Such part
need more attention while cookitij.',
however, yet the many tempting dishe
tbat may be made from them mor
than reay for all extra trouble. The
averag-i housewife may not know it,
but nevertheless it is a fact that butch
ers who are daily and hourly haudling
all kind of cuts of beef almost inv.v
riably choose for their own consump
tion flank steak. They say it Is more
savory and just a tender a ten lerioiu,
which cut the butcher seldom eats.
The flauk steak is situated between tin
inside and outside layers of erea-ny
colored fat in the 11 ink, and when
taken from well fed stock is excellent.
It costs at tbe market but half as miM-li
as porterhouse or sirloin.
An old butcher once toll me that
the best pieces of meat in the bullock
for making a dish of boiled beef is the
closed grained top piece over the
shoulder blade.
Meat adhering to the ribs make much
more satisfactory steak than the so
called sirloin and costs but little. Thi
piece may be larded and served a i
filet de beef. It is also quite accepta
ble as Miguoti steak. Omaha World
Hcrald. Goose Lore.
Weather predictions, according to
popular iudicutors, promts' a mild
winter and fina Febru.try. Jinuaryi
the month for e tting geese, and all old
residenter cousuU the breast'oiaa of
the same after it h i bum relieved of
the m-'itt. Texture and color prsie
the coming we.ither. If the breast
Une of tUt g-s is thin aod i.jV.
colored there will lj u severe co.f;
ifthebm ;i thick a:t-l il irk, icjanl
snow m iy to aot:op tie I. Al"p'iu
the art of divln.iti .i ct.i foretell from
the gr vluute l c il r of the bne just
what diy will b war n or c l 1. A
gentlem tu who recently exiitbil th.
breastbone of a gander raised on hi
country pla's foil n 1 indicitioii of an
early and mild spring.
A goo lives to be over years if
no accident cut short its days, aud at
any tlmj after uin months wjll serve
as a weather prophet.
The feathers of a goose are also
weather forecasters, for if the dow n be
neath the feathers is thick a cold season
is imminent, where a if they are ex
tensively laid out and thinly settled a
warm spell is on tbe way.
The flight of geese is ail unfailing
sign of coming temperature. Wbeti
they fly south in their wedge-shaped
phalanx the northern blast is behind
them, while if they diverge to the east
or West the eoid snap wi l be only
temporary. On their return w hen they
fly from their winter haunts to their
great summer resort in Sih.-ria summer
follows them, a well a awaits their
coming. A feather from a wild goose
in its flight will bring back an errant
lover to the maiden who has it.
The first negro minstrel troupe ap
peared in the United State about
iSdo. They were real negroes led by a
man named Johnson, and the melody
which gained them great applause)
was named "That Old Gray Goose."
The word ran: "Oh, don't you see
that old gray goose a lookin' at the
gander." This w a sing by the tenor
voice, and the chorus run in parts to
the words, "Where," "Here," "I
bear," and then a riugiug chorus.
Another of their part songs wai "Oh,
mamma, I must be married to Mr.
Punchinello," different voices sinking
Mr. Punch?" "Who Mr. Nell?"
"Who Mr. L ?" Who Mr. Punchinel
lo?" Phidias and His Jupiter.
Among the haughtiest of the Athen
ian "old masters" was PhidLis, who
was thought by many to le the great
est of all sculptor. 1I? lived a cen
tury before Praxiteles, and was selected
by Pericles, the ruler of Athens, to
adorn the Parthenon that beautiful
temple which i still partly standing,
though its artistic decoration. have
been lost or carried to oilier countries.
Souie of the friez- carved by Phidia
are cow iu the British Murium.
The glory of the Parthenon was hi
gigantic image of the goddos Minerv3,
nearly forty feet high, aud made of
ivory overlaid with gold, lie gave so
much offense by his arrogance tbat I is
enemies were always watching for a
chance to do him harm. At one time
they accused him of stealing some of
the gold from the statue : but the gold
plates were taken off and weighed, aud
bis innoceuce thu proved. Then it
was discovered that two of the figures
he had placed upon Minerva's shield
were likenesses of himself a'ud Pericles;
and a cy of impiety wa raised against
him, iu conseqiieuee of which he was
banished from the city.
He took his revenge in a curious way.
The Minerva had been universally con
sidered his noblest work ; but now he
proclaimed that he would surpass it for
the benefit of the people of Ells, another
Grecian town, in which he bad nought
refuge. The Athenian declared that
this wa impossible ; but a little while
later, when be set up hi colossal Jup
iter, they were compelled to acknowl
edge that theic goddess wa eclipsed.
The citizens of Eiis adopted Phidia.
w ith acclamations, and decreed perpet
ual honors to his family. Hi loss was
deeply lamented by Pericles, whotw
ambition it was that Athens should
lead the world in cultivation and re
finement, and who delighted to sur
round himself with eminent scholar
and artists of all kinds musicians
and painters, a well a sculptors. St.
Nicholas.
The best way to avoid su krwsa is to
ksep yourself healthy by taking Hood's
Sarsaparilla, the great Mood purifier.
, m i
Hickory Nut Cookie.-Two cups of
sugar, two eggs, half a cup of melted
butter, six tablespootisful of milk, one,
teaspoonful of cream of tartar,, half a
teaspoon ful of soda, and one cup'ul of
chopped kerneU cut into the dou,jh.