Somerset Herald. "he Facts for Farmers. s of Publication h'erm . Wedueiday morning at vnrui' lJ I charged. tf , .., oaid nr. Port meters db- ; Mr' a .ubnben do not .. 141 UUO'J IW" .MmDn.NltOOMlll jorr" . Address m pr" bUSKSbST, Pa. VS& rUBLKi A Afl Somerset, P. It bomcimi, i'enn'a. f ' ""'j'Z. uii w Li ere wiU be at. Lj'J w j1"""'"" fi W. WALKER, I .. .... vu s.aT-LAW. . i 1 1 1 - - uJoiAUVl'lbLJC bouicrsel, tw. onu: Court Uoue. n, Aiivu--. , i jjLRKEi, tsjuienaet Pa. ....... i. -i,.ri, Hooks tore. k, aw"' Tt-vTv M- LEIiKLEY, -3 ' - fvjiucrwcl, la. . . .. i iL.nk- Law m -uu"' C lffiv.AT-LAW. ftouicnrl, Pa. , . star l SU'- (i Somerset, Pa. OI LU W. BIESECKER, rMtiiit-rseL Uouae 1U.W, oj-puwU: Court ilDUac J. iTloli-NEV-AT-LAW, touicret, I'm. J-KW1KV-AT-LAW. BouicTwt, Pa. i (;I.K I H. KiX'XTZ. v . i KVTINE UA V. A. L O. HAY. iliAV in-V.v.AX-u.vw. (.T aouicnK . UHX H. I'HI-, . , 1U. All UU E- I - " i . . ' W ailVilUWI UU COiJtO- u- ru iv urn. I I0HX O. KI M.MEL, fj AllJit.Ntl-AT-LAW, i boUienc'l. m. -tU'fiidlo!l tusiuts eutrusu.-d to bis . . t ..i.. i -.1 thiii!1i ttU..L.. WlUt CkIT .U 'iiJT-i j i.viiij.uT.::uauai:ii. uuicrou AtaJulroM I AilKs L. I'LCll, .1 ,rr.,i'C7v.T.H'. a i --. - .. , taoiiMrreet, Ps ... . liiork. uu Mjtirs. En- j..UUt Hltiiil, Utlm.-kaUllUel,lua U u.itt iu.uartl U iu rouiiUicw , A. J. CXI.B(.RN". L. a LVLBORN. ll 1UIRN A (XLUUlw. . J Arl OtiN t S-A i -1 , Somcracl, Pa. AlibusiutM rutrultl to our care will be & ou iuklr lu wt'iut n-u lii-uiord itnd luljuiu fjt OHaUVK. UTrjlUi said oouteyuicUiX SCuicuu rxauuiitic wiiutt. IfT L. BAEIt, ill. AliyRNEY-AT-LAW, Soiut.Tx-1, Pa. ill Dwctice in Soiuerst-t aud adjoiuing lp ai.U't. Ail iu-iu.. ciitrusUxl lu luiu Wlil jatxiwc piuiiiilallAiUou. . H. COKKKuTU. V. H. Kt'PPEL. MJFFKuTH & RUITEL, A i t O ri-v L 1 S-A 1 -LA W , 1 Soiiientet, Pa. I AU bum, eutrusled U tlinr aire will be 1 imxi:i uuU t'UiictuDy Mtu-uded lo. ultice E V. CAKOTHEIW, XI. D., bouiFrnet, Pa. I 0O on Pairio. Buwt, (jpihjciU) V. B SJ urru. j.vuiouit l office. uyi r. V- SHAFFER, LL l-HlslUAN Ai SL'KUEON. Somerset, Pa. lvujcr bi pnrftwioiul at-rvicra to Uie Clti ui SKum-rwI mitl vK-iUily. Ulhcecuruer 'iu.ii tr mil I'uinol k'.rcci. ,U. J. M. I.OL THER, - 'Jlftuo Mia kim-l, rvarof Iiru utore. H. .S. KIMMELL, I laitn. ti pnf..,.iiuil wrvices to tu eiti- L ti.:-.-i ui- ratu in- 4uuu al li m ol- IR. J i'.Mi'MILLEX, o.-uJuii'.e iu lx-MiKtry.) OiTn.,,, ,i a.!...,.,,,,, t Ule liriw. nation F. ion.it!, f piianoiurU il:Lu uo . OiBce Miijuiuorl. h. lt. A loi store, F""". trta and finol tuixU. J H. COFFKOTH, Funeral Director. &tt Patriot St Qj'IiAXK 1J. FLICK, Land Siirvr-vni' I VII wivi.. . J I ... LjoottB. LUUe, Pa. BERLIN Marble&Gianite ...WORKS... tST2i.:SHE0 1878. THE OLD AND RELIABLE. Tlii i tLf 31, vear f lny rt " 1'rli"' a"J 1 Jlire to .Ulie Uunerybarastovol- of bUs,llttv , hM.e lhere. d,d(Jto,rt prifit ps aoJ K.ken0f,y a.priation of i. T ,",ir"Iiar! "t I have -rd lhr.Hieh.it tbe county, to tiieU,,. the Interna "7l'Knl Iuaveinsu-u.w aal-nuin u, Sg "rkMM.ri. that will aim- -U i, .u,- ,; , . . of work w c, rsT pulCK II urn jr. S- II. KOONTZ, f t ,.,... Proprietor. Ctoeral ijiejmi. VOL. XLVI. NO. 12. la what give Hood 'ajfersa pari 11a It great popularity, its constantly Increasing sales, and enable it to accomplish it wonderful and unequalled cures. The comoinaiion, proportion and process U3ed In preparing Hood's Sansaparllla mm MLmi u 10 omer medicines, and make Hood's Sarsaparilla Peculiar to Itself It :urea a wide range of dint-apes because of its power as a blood purifier. It acts directly and positively ujion the blood, and the blood reaches every nook and rornerof the human system. Thus a!l the nerves, miwln, bones and tissues come uuder the bci.ciicent inlluence of Sarsaparilla T!ii Oil- Tree I'.KmmI Purfir. 1 ; six for $5. m 4 r:u . c,;:' ,mr ea,v u a r I Jie.ras lo u rate. THE- First National Bant OK Somerset, Ponn'a. o Capital. S50.QOO. Surplus, S28.000. OtPCIT BECEIWt. IN LAH6C ANOSMALL AMOUKT. PAYABLE ON DEMAND. ACCOUNTS OF MERCHANTS, FARMER DISCOUNTS DAILY. BOARD OF DIRECTORS. CH.KS. O. H ULL, GEO. R. RCULU JAM U I'l'liU, W. 11. MILLKil, JOHN K. hOTT, KOBT. H. KUKU W. BlESEtKKB EDWAKDKirLU : : PRESIDENT. VALENTINE HAY, : VICE PRESIDENT. UAKVfcY il. BKUKLKY, . CASHJE&. Tbe funt and securities of this bank are eurely prwU-ctd in a eeU-bmted 1rlihs IH'R- ola B PboofS a kb. The only safe made atao IQU b bunfUr-prooC TteOEitet tetj Mod " BANK OF SOMERSET PA. EttabliiMrf 1S77. Orfiak u i Matltusl, 1890 -O. Capital, - $ 50,000 00 Surplus. Undivided Profits, 23,000 00 Assets, - - 333,03333 a Chas. J. Harrison, - President. Wm. IT. Koontz, - Vice President. Milton J. TrUta, - - Cashier. Geo. S. Ilarriaon, - Asa't Cashier. Directors j Wm. Endsley, JoMah Spet'ht, John H. Snyder, Joseph 1J. Davis Chas. W. Snyder II. C. BeeriUt, John StuOt, Harrison SnyJer, Jerome StufTt, KoaU S. Miller, Sain. B. Harrison. . . thi.h.nir will mMtTthr mofct tlla.nl trealmeotcoimisA'nt witlisnfetwuking. lunies wiUlnB to Mriid motley t or wet can be accouimodaled by draft tor any amount. . MHiey and aluaiies seeurea uj one bold- r'lebrled safes, wilii most improved time look. . . . . -..ii.i.,n made In all parts of the United Kliifo. ChHies riixlr.le. ACCOUUIS Sua aepin wnwww. A. H. HUSTON, Undertaker and Embalmer. A GOOD HEARSE, and everythinf pertaining lo funerals furn- Mhed. SOMERSET - - Pa Jacob D. Swank, Watchmaker and Jeweler, Next Door West of Lutherta Church, Somerset, - Pa- I Am Now pi -ed to ipily the public with Clock, WaUbes, ainl Jew elry of all dKTii.Uons, as Cheap as the Cheapest. IlEPAIULNG A SPECIALTY. All work guaranteed. Look at my utock before nuiking your purc-hasf. . J. D. SWANK. Auk You r CATARRH DRUGGIST for a genentus 10 cent TRIAL SIZL. ELY'S Cream BalM coiiliiiH no ciMralne. ii reu ry nor any otuer 1 uju rloui It i quM-Kty ,i nrlM-a. oives lu lu I COLD 'n HEAD at once. i .n.i -t t... ihr NaxMl rMf" AlUyHlnltaiuatlon. Heals and PniUf" "'e MiiulirMiir. IU-Uire tbe ?M-nie of T:u"te sw-ll. Kull Slae jOc TrUl Sie 1U.-. at lru or 'v timfh Hood's THE PUMPZIlff PIE. I do not sing of the knlghti of old M ho fought for a lady's algh. Of Uie smoke and ioie of the batUe-fleld I slug of the pumpkin pie. let thnw who talk of the flying yacht. And the waters that ripple by. SUind on" to one side till 1 tune my hurp And sing of the pumpkin pie. The ladies niay chew on their caramels. Or feaxt on an oyster fry ; The dudes may gloat on a foreign dUli, But bring me the pumpkin pie. When sorrow sweeps over my weary soul And the teardrops come to my eye, I do not sit by Uie wall and mope I hunt for the pumpkin pie. If I'm ever married I don't want a feast. With dlHhes to dazzle my eye, But I'll bike my bride to the kitchen below And we'll dine on a pumpkin pie. While I'm alive in this dismal world And until tbe day I die, I'll pin my Uitn on a future world That Is furnUlied with pumpkin pie. J0XES, WIDOWER. Jones wan a luxurious fellow; be lov etl the good things of life and hud thus far been quite successful iu obtaining thetu. Still, it was not the good for tune that comes by luck that was his, but it was the fruit of energy aud in dustry. Jx-ft with a considerable pat rimony, be had carefully improved hi circumstance, until now, at the age of 3-, he was classed as one of the solid neu of the towu iu which he had built up his fortune. For the Lwt two years Jones had been a uevotea ciun man lor Jones was a widower, and for two years home had been a doleful place, full of the bitter ness of bittersweet memories every corner echoing a voice that was gone, every room full of a vanished presence. To-night he had not gone to the club but loafed in his own library and ru initiated. For, though Jones was widower, it was his intention to re- main such very little longer. The echoes of the voice that was gone were growing fainter, and he no longer felt so sharply the inlluence of lle vanish ed presence. Just now he was engaged in that venerable occupation, reviewing the past. He began with the wedding. He felt again the hush of his heart as he had felt when be had realized that Kliza U th had given herself into his keep ing, "lo nave and to liobi," lie wuts- ered and his pulse beat strong. Eliza beth looked from the shadows with the old, sweet look of confidence and in vi tation. The face faded and Jones settled him self to his neglected cigar, and, in the smoke curls that drifted into the cor ners, he saw visions. w Children had come to them. He liv ed again his hours of agony while Elizabeth, his Elizabeth entered the valley of pain; and his being throbbed once more with exultant joy wheu she had passed the valley and emerged on the bright hilltops beyond, bearing a precious life in her baud her pledge of her love to him. "My brave Eliza beth!" Children had come to them one. two and then a third, and Elizabeth had found that the valley opened into the deeper, darker valley of the Shad ow of Death; and Jones, battled and despairing had found that the brightest hilltops beyond that valley were veiled iu a mist he could not jieuetr&te. He lived again iu the firelight here, the dark, cold days that followed the days that were months, the weeks that were years, the years that were centuries. He turned restlessly as it flashed to him that of these centuries there had been but two. A tiny colli u stood in the corner there aud Elizabeth's baby had gone to her waiting arms. Two little, helpless clinging girls remained lo him. Housekeepers! His soul shuddered. There was the tearful one, whose vocal organs were paralyzed in his presence, so that no conversation could be main tained. She died, poor thing and when she was gone he realized that she had mitigated the toughness a little. Still, be always thought of her, not as m jierson, but "poor thing." A jolly, rosy face thrust itself before him. "Well," said a cordial voice, will it be a permanent position?'1 Stuttering Jones had been compelled to state that he could give no assurance of jiermauency. Next came the widow of tlie terrible headgear, aud he had guttered iu si lence. Rut since he had known Sue oh, Sue was a jewel! She looked so haugli tyand cold stitf, people called her. Rut he knew how she could warm aud glow, how her eyes could brighten, how her cheeks could burn, aud her ps curve distractingly. It made his blood chase just to think, here in the smoke, of Sue. And iu a week Sue would be his. He swelled with pride. He thought of his plaus of the future. How well it was all arranged! He dwelt with complacency on the fact that his friends were iu the dark as to his purpose. How discreet he and Sue had been to l sure, and it had been delicious, he having his sweet secret with Sue. "A widower is s remarked upon if he chooses to marry; it is annoying.' Jones had not confessed to himself that be dreaded his friends, just now. Jones loved to see things donede-, cenlly and in order. He felt that this season of rvtlection was a delicate little attention due his past, and that he bad proerly chosen a book he meant to lay aside and look at no more. He threw bis cigar into the grate, stretched him self luxuriously and took himself to bed. The business day was nearly over, when the boy announced a name anJ Jones rose promptly aud advanced to meet a trim little lady, with a clear, fresh complexion and gray-blue, earn est e-yes, whose color was matched by the elegant gown she wore. They proceeded at ouce to a matter of business he bad in hand for her, aud when that was attended to she sat chatting for a few moments. Jones liked Mrs. Mason. Aside from his respect for her good sense aud his friendship for her husband, she held other claims upon his regard. He hail known her long and well, aud she had omer SOMERSET, PA., been a neighbor and a dear friend of Elizabeth. "I hear you are to be married?" she said, suddenly. There was qtiestiou'in her voice, but not question that at all doubted of being answered. Jones chafed. It was uoue of her business; it was meddlesome curiosity; yet to himself acknowledging that she had always shown unselfish interest, ana that now he would, nay, must, answer. All he could attain to by his inward rebellion was au attempt to soar light ly above her. ' He crossed one knee over the other, then crossed the other over that, and said: "Well, congratu late me, won't you?" and he succeeded in saying it with a sort of nervous flip pancy. He could detect nothing but gentle gravity aud she answered: "I cannot do that." He sat stiffly, thiuking that if this were a man, he'd know pretty well what to do with him. "I've had experience with a step mother myself," she went on quietly, as if thinking aloud, aud without thought of influencing. Jones started. Really, it was almost indelicate iu her to talk this way. lie- side, he had not thought of Sue as a step-mother. That is surely au ugly name. "And I could never wish any little human being so unhappy a childhood as I had. My stepmother was a good woman, and her ways were right iu her own eyes. She was cruel not physically, of course, - but in the thou sand aud one ways that only a person thoroughly out of sympathy with a child can be. I tried my little best to please her, and then have wept my lit tle heart out to a sympathetic pillow at night, that nothing I could do was pleasant to her, and that she didn't really want to be pleased. I was simp ly crushed. If I had not been vigor ous I believe I would have died." fine pauseu, ami Jones round no words. He told himself that he had no need, nor no wish to defend Sue to this meddlesome woman. "If I had not been vigorous I believe I should have died" the words burnt him. His ittle girls were uot vigorous. "I have thought of your poor chil dren many times, but I cannot come to Elizabeth's home how. I cannot. I should only make a spectacle of my self." About anything so long ago?" thought her listener, and then tie turn ed restlessly, as he had done last night when he remembered that it was not really so long ago. "1 can never pass the house without seeing Elizabeth's dear face just as sh-j stood the last time I saw her. She was wearing the pretty blue gown with tho gay little riblious you remember." Jones nodded. "She leaned against the pillar at the corner of the veranda, and talked sau cily to me at the gate. The clematis vine she planted at the corner you know laid one of its clusters on her head. Her arm was raised hadn't Elizabeth the dearest curves to her arms? I just waiiU-d to lay my cheek on her wrist and kiss the whiteness often." Jones' face was blanched. Eliza beth's dear arms! He felt them clasp him! He laid again his cheek to her wrist and kissed the whiteness. "One other time, among the last I re member, I had said something I had feared had hurt her, and I apologized; then, going home on foot, I passed our gate just as she left the carriage. She stopped me to speak of what had passed, and was so sweet iu her assur nee of her love for me I loved her so: l rememuerjust now sue looseu; she was entrancing; iu brown, with plumes on her broad hat that made her hair glisten gold and her face look ike a lilly." Jones' eyes burued. "Slie was so sweet in her assurance of her love for me" ran through his brain. "God!" he cried to his aching heart, "I loved her so!" "I never see the little girls without seeing iu them dear Elizabeth's sweet, sweet face." She was torturing him! his skin was larched. "And" she said as she rose. Jones ifted his eyes heavily. She seemed taller than usual; he wondered dully at it; "to see another there Iu her place, caring for her liowers, or perhaps neg lecting theih; sitting in her chairs, re- liniug on her dainty couches, presid- ng at her place at your table; to have on giving your homage aud love. holding her iu your arms and melting her with your kisses, as if Elizabeth had never been oh, I cannot bear it. cannot bear it?" A sob broke ou Jones' ear; he heard door shut loudly, and looked up to find himself alone. And then, to his surprise, began a truggle, in which his native common sense could not conquer. "Oh, Eliza beth, Elizabeth!" his heart called. yearningly. He walked tbe room with uneven, restless steps. He turned nerce ly ou au inofleusive oftlee boy: "No I can see no one." I le thought of Sue. What had he seen in Sue. , What a stilf-backed, ungraceful walk she had! How expressionless her face almost al ways was. He tried to recall the passions her isses I. ail aroused him to, uui uis blood refused to leap aud thrilL It struck bim now that she was a thought too eager; there had beeu a delicious shyness about Elizabeth that no other woman possessed. He recalled some woman's un- thoughtful remark that the Simpsons were not careful housekeepers. Heav ens, the daintiness of Elizabeth! His mind was a blank; bis heart was cold, save for Elizabeth. Consciousness came to him, but nothing could warm his heart. This thing was a ghastly impossi bility. He felt, as if somnambulistic, he had assumed an obligation he could never meet. He returned to his desk. He wrote, not pausing, for he knew what he must say. Just the shortest way to break the chain that was all he wanted: My Dear Miss Simpson My mar riage with you is an impossibility. I fear I cannot make it plain to you, but set ESTABLISHED 1827. WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 1. 1897. the image of mv dear wife Ellzabetl has come to me with so much force that 1 cannot feel It right to take in her place one for whom I feel no more af fection than I do for you. ou cannot be exccted to forgive what must seem so strange to you, but at least I fee sure you could not wish the thing to goon under the circumstances. Ire- main very sincerely your friend. James Jones. ."An unpleasant business" he mused as he dispatched it with promptness, and sat waiting for the reply, which, roused by such frank brutality, was quite suflicient to conceal any hurt it might cover : Mr. Jones I have just received vour odd note. As you say. I cannot lie ex- pecied to forgive your duplicity, but I can be thankful that I am saved from a man who is either afflicted with a diseased mind, or is completely under the visionary control of moods. I am not your friend. . Sle Simpson, Jones heaved a sigh actually, a sigh of relief. "Sue has spirit; I admire Sue!" he said heartily. , He walked home to dinner almost gaily. He would live happy in the memory of his happiness with Eliza beth, and his dear little girls, dear re plicas of Elizabeth, should be at once his care aud his solace. They would soon be companions oh, the years are short, short!" And Mrs. Mason? Mrs. Mason never knew whether Jones had been engaged or not to that girl. Rut she did feel sure that she, Mrs. Mason, had "made spectacle" of herself. Cincinnati Commercial Tribune. Don't Waste CoaL The whole system of locomotion is threatened with imminent revolution. The two horses, one of flesh and one of iron, one eating oats an I the other cal, find their vocations going away t-gether. Science threatens to burn their carcasses ou tho same pyre. Electricity oilers itself as a locomotive force for the nations. The steam lo comotive, vaunted emblem aud token of the greatest of centuries, finds itself ut the close about to be relegated to the great ash heap of curiosities before which civilization stands laughing. But the thing is uot yet certain. We cannot make haste to dig a grave for the locomotive. It may ie that the twentieth century will otill demand that heavy, clumsy, but very efficient brute whose olliee it has been for two generations to carry man aud his pro ducts to the euds of the earth. The substitution of electricity for steam as a motive force on the great railways of the United Stales, which now seems so imminent, will be, if it comes, the most marvelous single change that has ever occurred among the physios of tbe civilized life of uiau. - . Oddly enough, tbe eveut is held back by one of the caprices of progress. The strength of the locomotive is its imper fection. The application of steam to enginery is accompanied with an error which has cost civilization more dear ly than any other flaw iu her appara tus. The acceptance of electricity as the one great motive force is strongly impeded by a circumstance which, ac cording to all logical deductiou, ought long since to have been obviated. This circumstance lies in the application of heat, or rather in the evolution of heat and its economy in the production of power. Fully four-fifths of all the fuel of the world is thrown away. Tbe 70, OOO.UUO people in the Uuited States are burning up their owu most precious resources with an absolute waste of more than 80 per cent of the whole. Victor Hugo c hided the l'arlsiaus for seudiug annually through the sewers 2,0;X),0iJ francs into the sea. What shall we say of the whole world shoveling coal into the roaring throats of 100,U)0,U)() furnaces? There Is not au engine anywhere, or ever was, that economizes more than 20 percent of the fuel which it devours. John Clark Kidp&th iu Brooklyn Times. Sural Notes. Look out for bristles on the man who is forever prating about his courtesy and great consideration for the rights of others. People are becoming more and more shy of buying oor mutton, and there fore farmers are aying more heed to the raising and feeding of good sheep. Although there is much in favor of other rations oats is about the best thing we cau give the calves. Mixed with cornmeal it is a great milk pro ducer for cows. The best proof that there Is fair profit in raising good cattle may be found in the fact that the men who handle that sort are not complaining about the business. The farmer who is making his land richer every year is laying up the best bank account possible. Robbing the soil for present profits is never practic ed by good farmers. Sheep will injure themselves eating salt only when a careless shepherd has deprived them of it too long. Keep the salt where they will take ouly so much as is required to satisfy their actual needs. For Winter feed you should cut the hay just as the seed begins to form. After that, the food properties in the stalk go into seed. This rule holds good to a greater or lesser extent to all grasses, but is especially applicable in the case of timothy grass. The large, coarse varieties of carrots most used for stock feeding are not so nutritious as is the shorthorn, which grows most of its bulk near the surface or slightly above it. As the shorthorn carrot cau grow more thickly in the row, it is nearly as productive as the deeper setting varieties, aud it is also more easily harvested. . Five to six hundred bushels of the shorthorn car rot may be grown per acre. This is a paying crop at the usual price of this root, Home and Farm. Not His Fault. Wife You told me that we would go to the seashore every season after we were married. Husband And I would have kept my promise at any cost had your fath er known enough not to fail. Detroit Free Press. Vinegar and Turpentine- It is great sport to edit a newspaper in a town like Burlington where, for pe cuniary reasons, police protection Ls not spread all over the place like mush rooms. It is more fun than chewing tobacco or swinging in a hammock with a beautiful silly girl who wants to talk dress, lawn tenuis and boys all the time. It is more fun than seeing "l'n cle Tom's Cabin" walloped over the stage by borne talent It is more fun man Having a carbuncle, it is more than most anything. The other day an awful looking man entered the sanctum. He was six feet high, four inches thick, and had a crop of suu-burued whiskers that would have made a good adornment for a mythological god. He was mad. Every second or so he spat out chunks of froth like lava from the volcano Vesuvius. "Are you the dod-derntd guloot what runs this paper? he demanded in a voice that had evidently Wen dug out of a prehistoric cemetery aud turned up on the grindstone. The man at the desk quietly oened a drawer that contained some stones, brick bats and chunks of scrap-iron, and sweetly replied that he was the in dividual. "Then you are the all-11 red skunk, the dod- blasted weasel, the ram-jam med, half-hatched turkey-buzzard that I am look in' for; I want I want " Want to jiay your bill?" suggested the editor, "let me see your name is Smith; all right, Smithy, 2S years at 11.50 a year, makes just " "I want to know if you are the son- of gun who put that piece iu the Ga zette about equal parts of vinegar and turpentine spread ou ows would keep the flies t.llV" Yes, oh, yes," replied the man at the desk eagerly, "how did she work?" The memory of it made the man madder. He began to froth ut the mouth grit his scantily-located molars, wave his hands and stamp his feet. The newspaper man saw visions of grim death from apoplexy. How did it work! How did it work!" he screeched out in regular lo- eomotivj style, "It worked beautifully, mostd -d beautifully! I read that thing in your cus.-d paper, and bavin' more pesky flies than my cows could kick olf in a mouth, I concluded to try it. I made a whole barrel, and when the boy brought tbe cows up for milk ing, I just took a tree sprayer and squirted them all full of it from head to tail, bull, billygoat aud all" "Well! Well! Well what do you sup pose? It took that turpentme about a minute to get down to business. The cows squirmed, twisted and bellowed; the bull started to hook everything in sight, and the billygoat ust butted the barn, spit, sputtered and bleated like mad. Then they all umped over the barnyard fence at a lick, aud with heads up and tails switch in' they ripped through the cornfield, across the medder into the woods and I guess they are going yet. hain't seen 'em or got any milk since, and I'm going to sue this pajr to recover damages!" "Did it keep the flies off?" anxiously asked the man at the desk. "Keep 'em orT! Why gol darn your ugly tripe, there aiu't a fly ou earth that could keep up with them cows the way they were going after they jump ed out of the barnyard !' The lauk farmer ordered his paper stopped, spat a quart of tobacco juice on the door, aud left the oilice with a General Wevler air. while the man at the desk commenced au article ou "Tbe Vagaries of Hainan Existeao." Ruriingtou, X. J. Gazette. Trouble For His Honesty. "A queer thing hapjHMied to me," said Bailey, lighting a fresh cigar. "It was only one of those incidents of street travel that might happen to any one, but annoying from the misconstruction put upon it." "Let's hear it," said the other fel lows, making themselves comfort able. "I was ridiug on the electric," said Bailey, "and iu the seat oposite was a pretty girl." "Oh, you consider yourself a judge?" remarked one of the crowd. 'I certainly do, aud I let her see that I appreciated her good looks. Rut my admiration made no impression. Tlie young woman busied herself in get ting her fare ready, aud I watched her as she deftly extracted a dime from her pocket book and held it on the palm of a pretty hand, ready for the conduct or." "You were hit hard, Bailey." "Then I bethought me of my own fare, aud as I was holding a newspaper in my hand I rose aud dived down into my pocket for a nickpL The con ductor came along and I banded It to him just as my vis-a-vis said: "What has become of my 10 cents?" "There she sat staring at her hand, which was no longer occupied by the piece of silver. We all looked for it, but it had disappeared, and she found a nickel with which she paid her fare. At that moment I slipped my baud into my overcoat pocket and found there the 10 cent piece." 'How could you identify it?" asked one of the boys. I never carry money in au outside pocket. Resides it had not been there a moment before. No, I knew how it happened. My paper had whisked it from her hand, and it had dropped from it to my pocket, as I explained to her 'Was she surprised? What did she say?" "Roys, I can't tell you all she said. Piyase don't ask me. She remarked that no one could judge by appearances. and she hoped it was my first-begin ning in a life of crime; that if I bad beeu hardened I would uot have re turned it to her, but that probably I saw that she suspected me, and a lot more, while the fellows in the other seats were guying me. Rut you can bet your bottom dollar I never rind any woman's money and return it to her again. Not much, Mary Ann." Chicago Times-Herald. era Darker View of Alaska. J. C. Widstead, who since 1S!1 has been superintendent of the United States reindeer farm in Alaska, is of the opinion that the stories of gold dis coveries are exaggerated aud that with the rus'j of people to the field this sum mer there will be great sutfering among large numlier of them before they re- turn to their homes. "Many of the fortune hunters," said Mr. Widstead, "will return with far more of experience than of the gold. The resources of the country are great and much gold undoubtedly has beeu brought back, but only the successful miners have given their story to the public and the many hardships, com bined with failure, have been only half told. It u no place for au old miner, but the young man, tempted by fortune has a prospect to nerve him up to the point of enduring the hardships inci dent to the trip. Most people have uo idea of the endurance required for a trip iuto the gold country, and it s-eius that they fail to realize that they w ill be thousands of miles from civilization aud entirely ujsm their own resources. "Many of them are densely ignorant of what sort of country they are going into. This Is illustrated by the case of a man who recently took his bicycle with him. You can deend Uxn it that he will be overcome the first week alter landing. I honestly lielieve that a person with a good iositioii should stay where he is." In the opinion of Mr. Widstead the fortunes made In the early fur trade of the Northwest Territories will be m ire than duplicated by the Alaskan trad ing companies. Just before he left last spring two small v ess. Is remained las than two weeks at Saudspit and did a business amounting to nearly $1iW,ij with the whalers coming farther north. The Saudspit Is a natural harbor, a short distance lielow the station where Mr. Widstead was located, and the whalers who have been operating in the water to the north go there for supplies and to transfer their return cargo. These two boats took back a cargo which included SVS.OuO worth of whalebone, 11 bags of all Lind-t of furs, 3 hogsheads of ivory ami 4S bearskins. valued at iJJ to $ K) each. Each bag of fur contained about 500 skins, aud one especially rare specimeu of fox fur sold iu Loudon for i'oi. The ivory was walrus tusks of the finest quality. Iu some ways the jmnitiou of Mr. Wid stead is not one to be envied, as there were only three white men ou the rein deer farm. The farm is a barren tract of land only one degree s-nith of the arctic circle, and it is here that the reiudeer are cared for and with the pro tection given them they ..rapidly in crease. The farm was originally start ed to give the Eskimos some profitable occupation, but from the start was so successful that its practical side was de veloped. The reindeer are now dis tributed from the farm to the mission station, and there is uo danger of their liecoming extinct. Wheu the farm was started in Wd, the government secured 17 reindeers, and these by purchase and breeding iucreased until lxt fall there were I, 17",. By this time there are probably 2,000 of the animals. A herd has been given to one of the Eskimos, and he has lieen very successlul in his care of it. Under the government direction it is expected that this highly useful ani mal will increase until all demands in that country can be supplied. Chicago Record. Size of the Universe. Of all the open-air problems of nature which appeal alike to the scientific-and unscientific, none is more impressive than that suggested by the grandeur of a star-light night, What are the stars, how distant are they, how far beyond our vision do they reach into space? Iu au address receutly given by Prof. Simon Newcomb he traced the attempts ruide to measure the distauee of the stars from the earth, and added the striking observation that "evidence is accumulating which points to the probability that the succesive orders of smaller and smaller atari, which our continually-increasing telescopic power brings into view, are not situ: ted at greater aud greater distances, but that we actually see the boundary of our universe." This remarkable statement has begun to attract attention, and it would be interesting to know what the evidence is to which Prof. Newcomb refers. We were only just beginning, after centuries of mediieval superstition, to get over the idea that the earth was the centre of the universe, and that the stars w ere specially created for its edi fication. The more general belief nowadays is that space extends infiuitely in all di rections there is no reason why we should understand what "infinitely" means and that everywhere there are worlds. Prof. Newcomb himself, in the succeeding passage to the above, gives some idea of tbe vastness of stellar spaca. Ly ing on the deck of a steamer he says, and gazing up at the constella tion Lyra, he has often tried to calcu late out how many millious of years it would take his ship to get there, forget ting all the time that the earth was traveling iu that very direction at a speed compared to which a steamship Is extremely slow. Through every year, every hour, every minute of human history since the first appearance of man ou the earth, from the era of the builders of the Pyramids, through the times of Ctesar and Hannibal, not merely our earth, but the suu aud the whole solar system with it, have been speeding their way toward the star Lyra on a journey of which we know neither the beginuing nor the end. During every clock beat it moves ou this journey by an amount which we cannot specify more exactly than to say that it is prob ably between Ave and nine miles per second. When shall we get there? Probably iu less than a million years. Perhaps in half a million. In cases of burns aud sprains, scalds or any of the other accidental pains likely to come to the human body, Dr. Thomas' Electric Oil gives almost in stant relief. AO. WHOLE NO. 2105. A Burst of Sarcasm- Kmni the Waiihlngtoa SUr. The "sculptor's friend found him sit ting in idleness with an expression that was distinctly sardonic. "What's the matter?" was the in quiry. "Nothing to do?" "Yes. I have plenty to do. Rut ' 'hat Is the use of doing it?" "Never mind. Posterity will appre ciate you." "That's what I told the man who runs the hotel where I live. He said he thought so, too. Rut he also re marked that posterity is likely to have a great deal to think about, and won't take the trouble to give tini the share iu my glory that he unquestionably de serves for having trusted me for my Umr.L" '-Perhaps your next work will bring you success." "No. Rut I have a fine idea aud I am going to carry the effort to a con clusion." "What is it?" "A statue representing Adam. Of course, I don't exjiect that it will bring me auy recognition. I can't depict him as wearing golf stockings or check ed trousers or a Prince Albert coat, or any of the other things that are consid ered essential in modern art. But I am going ahead to make the statue for my own satisfaction." "Then why are you uot busy alssjt it?" "I had dropped into a reverie when you arrived." "A sentimental oiood?" "No. I was thinking about my sub- j'ft. I was thinking of what a lucky thing it was for Adam that when he first made his appearance in clay there was no committee to come around and und rtake tocusi"ii him to oblivion." The Toad a Valuable Frienl Tlie Massachusetts experiment sta tion, which examiii'd with a micro- scojie the contents of the stomachs of 7 toads i:i Apr:!, ') in May, ii i:i June, lil in July, 10 iu August aud 7 in Septem ber U: in all found that M per cent of the toad s food corisL-t of harmful insects and 11 per cent was of such beneficial insects as bees, spiders, lady bujs, etc. The stomach that doesn't flinch at yellow jackets, w a-jw, blisters, beetles and click beetles, or pinch bugs, would seem to be prepared for a'lything in the insect line, and it doubtless Is. The quantity of food that a toad's stomach can acomniodate is remarka ble. In one were found 77 myriapods, in another -V army worms, iu another " KiTy moth caterpillars, in another U aiiiA,-. cut wur-us, o uiyriapuds, li sow -bugs, oae weevil and oue wire wcrm beetle. Iu twenty-four hoars the toad con sumesenoug'i food to till its stomach four tiiU'.-s. Feeding at the rate above mentioned, a single toad will iu three months devour over I0.!J insects. If every leu of these would have done lc damage, the toad has saved jlO. Evidently the toad is a valuable friend to the farmer, gardener and fruit-grower, and can 1 made especial ly useful in the greenhouse, garden aud berry patch. Mica Yet toDj. On a vast plain the o.V,000,0ii0 sub jects of (juetn Victoria are assembled before her throne, and oa a table near the throue are the five sacred books of the East the Bible, the Verbis, the Korau, the Tripitakas, aud the Zend A vesta. Rising from her throne the tjueen says: "L-.-t all thosj who be lieve ia the divine in-pirati :i of the Vet las take their sacred Uioks au 1 pass out and away," aud 2W,0;xj,0j.) g. out while but 1"iO,iXW,0 remain. Sadly the Christian queen agaiu speaks: "Let those who believe in the Koran now leave." Her grief increases as ud.iXW.OJ!) more g out, aud agaiu there is au exodus of those who l-elieve in theTripitaka, the sacred Kak of the Buddhists, and in the Zend A vesta, tlie Parsee Bible fc),0vX),'J more. Oat of :V),OJ0,iJ0 only 50,000,000 remain who accept thescripiuresof the Old and New Testament as their Bible; and only a part of these are heart believers in God's book. This parable shows that tlie disciples of Jesus still have much to do liefore it cau be said that the glad tid ings have ado ('.lately been made knowu to every creature. The Advance. The Tnie Remedy. W. M. Repine, editor Tiskilwa, 111., "Chief," says: "We won't keep house without D:. Kiug's Ne Discovery for consumption, coughs and colds. Ex perimented with many others, but never got the true remedy until we used Dr. King's New Discovery. No other remedy can take its place iu our home, as iu it we have a certain aud sure cure for coughs, colds, whooping cough, etc." It is idle to experiment with other remedies, even if they are urged on you as just as good as Dr. King's New Discovery. They are not as good, because this remedy has a record of cures and lides is guaran teed. It never fails to satisfy. Trial bottles free at Snyder's drug store, Somerset, or at Rrallier's drug store', Berlin. Kept His Word. "When I heard the bicycle bell I just stood on my rights and refused to move, threatening at the same time that if he ran iuto me I'd smash his machine." "Well?" "I kept my word. He ran into me aud I smashed the machine." "What did he do?" "He gathered it together." "Rut you?" "Oh," sadly, "they gather me to gether, too." Philadelphia North American. Offered a Bargain. "Do you think it's true that every man has his price?" asked the heiress. "I'm sure I dou't know," he answer ed thoughtfully, "but if you want a bargain you needn't look any farther." Chicago Poet. Prom the Philadelphia Ib-cnrd. When cows have bred and appear to !-; barren the cause is usually that they have h-eti made t' fat or kept too closely in the barnyard without exer cise. It is a waste of food to give cow grain twice a day if they are not in full flow of milk. When very fat, cows will do bent on a pasture of scanty herbage, on which they must travel about for their food. Every farmer who goes into del-t, or mortgages his farm, should keep in view th fact that ssier or later a time will arrive when that debt must 1 paid. If capital Ls neelcd to oper ate the farm the amotint borrowed should be as small as possible, aud tho ability to cancel the obligation in the future should be carefully considered. If a farmer will, or must, go in debt the safest method will lie to invest in manure or fertilizers, as the crops will thereby Is? increased and the farm be come more valuable. The varieties of cantaloupes differ very much. Those that are the most attractive iu appearauce may tie defi cient in quality. Tlie little Jenny Lind and Netted Gem are of fine fla vor ami excellent quality, but are small. One of the best varieties is Ihn Emerald Gem, which is of medium size, dark in appearau of rind and not very attractive, but is always a fav orite with those who grow it. As soon as ripe the melon loosens itself from the vine, a peculiarity of the Emerald Gem only. Tlie value of trees does not solely de pend u(miu the amount of fruit that can be derived therefrom. Trees are orna mental, provide shade, and give value to the farm from several stand jioint. A farm bare of trees will not be valued at one-half the sum that would be esti mated for one that contains them. The first ot of trees is Imt little, and in proportion to the capital iu vested iu them the increased value of the farm may le ten or a hundred-fold. 2uinccs are usually scarce in market and far Is-Iow the demand. Not one farm in a hundred contains a quince tree, yet the trees will thrive well on nearly all soils if the borers are pre vented aud care liestowed, though the quince, like other fruit, thrives best ou soils that are not too wet. The cows must first pay for their Uiard U-fore the profit is giveu. If the fiasl eaten d;s not come hack to the fanner in milk and butter in suflicient amounts to give a return for the cost ( including shelter and Ltlior) the un profitable cows should be taken out if the herd. Evergreen hedges will last for years if they aJe kept iu gfd condition by careful trimming. The great sitsirge of hedges Is the la.-ket worm, which can however, I easily kqt iu check, but which is not done by all, the result be ing that the hedges in an eutire com munity are sometimes ruined by the negligence of a few. If weeds are allowed to become dry before they are turned under they will rob the land of fertility, but if plowed uuder when green they will quickly decompose and restore to the land that of which the land was deprived. Ry plow ing under the green weeds there will le P- seeds. The hay press Is a valuable machine ou farms from which hay is sold. It copts more to load and unload lwwe hay on wagon than the hay is worth sometimes, especially if it is to be haul ed to a distance, but the bales are han dled easily and q-iiekly and save much, labo'. A merino ram sold for fS,000 in Sid ney, and at other points iu Australia from $0O) to jfVM) have been paid for rams. These prices are high, but the sheep breeders did not make any considerable profit until they began to buy the best rams in other iuutries. Millet should now be ready to cut. but if there is an abudance of hay and other feeding material it will be an ex cellent experiment to plow, the millet under aud then broadcast lime liberal ly over the surface of tlie laud, sowing rye or crimson clover after applying the lime. The lime and millet will in crease humus in the soil aud improve it iu several ways. Apples need not be wasted. Those that cau not be sold cau be converted into vinegar. Good cider vinegar is not as plentiful as oue may be suppotsf, the market being supplied with imita tatious of inferior kinds. Only good apples should be used fr choice vine gar. There is more catarrh in this section of the country than all other disesases put together, aud until the last few years was supposed to be incurable. For a great many years doctors pron ounced it a local dlstase, and prescribed local remedies, and by constantly fail ing to cure with local treatment, pro nounced it incurable. Science has prov en catarrh a constitutional disease, and, therefore, requires constitutional treat ment. Hall's Catarrh Cure, manufac tured by F. J. Cheney & Co., Toledo, Ohio, is the only constitutional cure on the market It is taken internally in doses from 10 drops to a tcaspoonful. Il acts directly on the bl'oal and mucous surfaces of the system. They olfer oue hundred dollars for any case of catarrh it fails to cure. Send lor circulars and testimonials. Address F.J. CHENEY A CO., Toledo, O. ejarSold by druggists, 7oc Something for Nothing. "You can't get something for noth ing," remarked the man who gives ad vice. "My wife thinks she can," said Mr. Meekton, with uu usual cynicism, "and of course, I don't say she isn't right wheu she says she achieved it" "When did she make the experi ment?" "Yesterday. She bought me a neck tie." Washington Star. Bucklen's Arnica Salve. The Rest Salve in the world for Cuts Bruises, Sires, Ulcers, Salt Rheum, Fe ver Sores, Tetter, Chapped Hands Chilblains, Corns aud all Skin Erup tions and positively cures Piles, or no pay required. It is guaranteed to give perfect satisfaction or uiouey refunded. Price 25 cents per box. For sale at J. N. Snyder's drug store. Somerset, or at Rrallier's drug store, Relin, Pa. More Wisdom. "What is an old-fashioued patriot?" "Well, he is a fellow who doseu't be lieve that baseball ought to go ahead of sUtesnjaoshlp." Detroit Free Pros. ELY 1HUTU I Warren nira.i,. i-