"I
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Somerset Herald.
TO TAKE TH PLACE OF THi
BICYCLE.
c Tnhlination.
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l.:,jn LtT-:. m ln.-v.li liiiiiiutri
ft. .'AI:TiiKIl- M. D.,
i'ii'.:.i amii i;ih.oN",
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J '' MM.I.KX,
" t' ti. iwrvittlon
., -ip.:i-..-il Mii.-Ufti.ry. "Hint
51 (-01 rkoTH,
tuueral Director.
l'utri..t
Land Surveyor
ilsi Oilsl
tingi Lubricating Oils
(iasoline,
::ii , yrj- kn.,wn
pduct ol Petroleum
u'"-t uuif,,rn,!y
factory Oils
VOL. XLV. XO.
-THE
First laiioil Bit
OF-
Someret, Ponn'a.
-o-
Capital, S50.QOO.
Surplus, S24.000. j
DEPOSITS RECEIVE (l LARGE ANCSMALL
AMOUNTS. PAVAtLE ON DEMAND.
ACCOUNTS OF USC ANT, rANMEKS.
TOCK DEALERS, AND OTKER3 SOLICITED
DISCOUNTS DAILY.
IlOAitl OF DIRECTORS.
I.AKI K M. HIl KS, GEO. R. SCTl.I
JA.MKS U 1T;H, W. H. MILI.KK,
JOHS It, .; oTT, KUBT. H. SCULL,
KIWAKDMT1J-. : : PKFXIIKNT.
i l r. l, : iv Ci i i.r. 1 1 'i-.. a.
HAKVEV M. K1;i:KI.E-, . tiiSlUEK.
The funds and securities of tills tmtiK are w
cun ly pn:-ted in a ctdebrated CoRl.iMt Hl B
Gi.AK Tikkik Sail The only safe made atao
luttly burjjlar-pnHif.
Tiia Snset Coirnty Mcaal
OF SOMERSET PA.
rO:
EUbli$tw), 1877, Crun'ifd is I HHIonil, 1890
CAPITAL,
S50.000
SURPLUS AND UN-
DIVIDED PROFITS S23.000
Chas. J. Ilarrison, - "President
Win. II. Koontz, - Vice President
Milton J. Pritts, - - Casliier
Geo. S. Harrison, - A?3't Catbier.
Directors ,
Sam. R. Ilarrindti, Wn ErxNley,
J.isiah Sjc'ht, Jonas M. Cook,
John II. Snviler, John Stufit,
Joseph H. Iavis, Noah S. Miller,
llarrisou Snyder, Jerome StuC't,
Chas. VT. Snyder
Customers of this bank will receive 1 he most
litx-nil tni intuit consistent witUsafi banking.
I'artim wihin: to wend money east or weft
can lie Mccommodaled by draft for any
amount.
Money nnd valuabh-s securtMl by one of Iie
hoid's (Vlebrated Kaf(, with mt improved
time !ock.
Collections made in all pa rta of Uie United
.st;:t'. Charges in.Klenite.
Account iind dt pobil solicited.
A. H. HUSTOW,
Undertaker and Embalmer.
A GOOD HEARSE,
and everything pertaining to funerals funn
tnued. SOMERSET - - Pa
Jacob D. Swank,
Watchmaker and Jeweler,
Next Door West of Lutheran Church,
Somerset, - Pa.
I Am Now
prepared to supply the puUic j
with Clocks, Watches, and Jew
elry of all descriptions, art Cheap
aH the Cliea pet.
REPAIRING A
SPECIALTr.
All work guaranteed. Ixwk at my
etck before making your
purchaser.
J. D. SWANK.
ALWAYS
On Hand.
BEST IN THE MARKET.
E
Jarecki Phosphate,
Raisin's Phosphate,
Lime,
Crushed Coke.
Hard Coal
Salisbury Soft Coal,
At the Old Stand near the Somer
set fc Cambria It. R. Station.
Prices Right.
Peter Fink
THE KEELEY CURE
If atpeclal boon to business men who, harinr
drifted uneraneiously Into the drink nabit ana
awaken to find the disea.e of aicoholism fastened
upon them, rendering them unt to manaire af
fairs requiring a clear train. A four wek
course 01 truauneiit at tna
PITTSBURa KEELEY INSTTTUTE. j
Ko. 4346 Fifth Arenae,
mum to thera all their powers, mental and? ;
pbyxiraJ, dextroys the abnormal appetila, and ',
restores thera to the condition ther were in ue- '
f'e ther indnlerd in stimulanta. "This has been '
done in more than imo caaea treated here, and
among them some of your own neighbors, to
whom we can refer with confidence aa to the
absolute safety and efficiency of the Keeley Core.
ine itiuext ana man aeareninr inTenirauoa ia
n vited. 6eud for pamtihiet giving full Inlorme. -
BAN K
Uon. j . A
25.
o
ire
Mftlidn J valjo in a Uittlo of Hood's S;irsa
liarilli t!ian In any otlirr iTPjiaration.
More ' n-uirfl. more c.-irc taken, iiinro
i-M-;isn iiKiirri'il in its maniifurturr.
It rott tiio pnri-tor an.l tlw it.-afcT
More '"It it lost tlio rullMllurr Irtat, as ht
j,i-ts inor liosa's for h: iiioik j.
More curative iwtT is secureil by iu peculiar
rriili!ition, lroort ion au.I process
hi.-h makes it N"uliar t' itself.
M Ore lle are employed ami more swicc oc
cupied in in I-alKirntory than any ntlier.
More ii'l. rful ("tires rtlertrd nnil mitre tes
tinemials received than by anv ntlier.
More xales and more tnere:i. year 1y year
are reorttKl l.v dniprists.
More I'e.'I'Ie are tikiii flood's S:irs;iparilla
t.xlay than any other, and more are
taking it today tnaii ever liefore.
More and KTII.L, Moll K reasons niillt be
piven why you Khouid take
mi
yn
Sarsaparilla
The ne True IU.hhI rurifier. SI: six fir $s.
, j r-n cure all I.lver Ills and
IIOOCI S PlllS Sick Headache. Scents.
rsi.E.Uhl.
V T-
NEW
FALL GOODS
New Style Fall and Winter
ress Goods
now in stock. They are pretty
and cheap.
A complete line of all kinds of
Flannels,
Flannelettes,
and other goods now in stock
Ladies' and
Children's
Now coming ia. Call and see
tliciu.
Mrs. A E. UHL.
ELY'S CREAM BAtM 1 poaltlveeure.
Apply into the nostras. It i quickly absorhed.
cniu at lrnin-ntsorbT mail : eamplea Kc. by maiL
Bl!OTU,:U3. 60 Warren fU. New ork CUv.
ScIentiHo American
Agency for
CAVEATS.
TRADE MARKS.
OCSICN fATEMTS
COPVRiCHTB. toJ
Trr tufnrmatfon and fre. Hand bonk write to
MU.N-S CO, o4X EolwT. MW VORC
O'ldmt bare.il 1-rr lecnrinir pen la Amcrtea.
err Mtent tafcea oat lr u Is broairhl before
toe lAiUic by a noooe ia (ne oi tuuw la the
fricuiififractiQH
lArmt clrerjlattmi of anr -lentlfie paner tn the
world, t-pknuldlf limtrateJ. ho tutelli.-n
man rtould be IUvoul IU Wee';ly, f3.WOa
rir; aiiixraonthfc AIJf. a.VT UO
lilrtnif- lruaIwajrr' varkClty.
IMPORTANT TO ADTEHTISEKS.
nf tha countrr ntnera is farad
It. TLen.inirLon'i Courtr Beat LUts. Shrewd
adrerusers avtil tLenisolvea of these lists, a
copy of which can be Iil or Jiemingtoo
.Broa; of Kcw York & PitUburg.
m
ods
-a V .a isA .air
u a av hb
omei
SOMERSET, PA.,
IF YOU'EE GOOD.
Santa (Taus'Il come tonight.
If you're good.
And do what you know la right,
Aa you should;
Dovq the chimney he will creep,
Bringing you a woolly sheep.
And doll that got to sleep;
If you're good.
Santa (Thus will drive his sleigh
Thro' the wood,
But he'll come around this way
If you're gocd.
With a wind-up bird that sings
And a puzzle made of rings
Jumping-Jacksand funny things
If you're good.
lie will bring you cars that "go,"
If you're good,
And a rucking -horsey oh I
If he would!
And a dolly, if you please.
That says "Main V when you squeeze
It hi Ml bring you one of these.
If you're good.
Santa grieves when you are bad,
As he should ;
I! ut it makes him very glad
When you're good,
lie is wise, and he's a dear ;
Just do riiflit and never fear ;
He'll remember you each year,
If you're kimmI.
lames Courtney Challiss in December ft-
Nicholas.
THE WIZARD'S
PROPHECY.
A "Wonder-Story From the Mythology
of the North.
From the Philadelphia Times.
Odin, the creat irod of the Xorselaud
and ruler over Valhalla, the alode of
the gods, was called All-Father, the un
created and unseen, whose will wa
law. Hut granting him this, Odin
had not the power to foresee the event
that would fchape his own destiny. He
had many sons, but among them was
one who was his special companion
and attendant. His name wasller
mod, and so mick and agile, so light
aud swift, were all his motions, that he
was called "the nimWe god."
Hermod was a Ri.cial favorite with
all the dwellers in Valhalla, for his
faee was ever smiling, and his desire
was always to help and to serve others.
This characteristic, combined with his
rapid motion, had made him the mes
senger of all the gods, and of Odin, in
particular. To show his favor, Odin
had presented to Hermod a magnifi
cent corslet and helmet, for the youth
ful deity was fond of riding to battle,
and his happiness was complete on re
ceipt of these gifts.
When the Valkyrs, helmet-clad, with
hair llowing on the wind, rode their
fierce and fleet-winged uteeds to the
battle-field Hermod could not resist
the sight, but would join them. And
sometimes Odiu would lend him his
powerful spear, Oungnir, which, wav
ed over the heads of the comlatants,
incited them to fiercest combat.
After the conflict Hermod conducted
some of the elect to Valhalla, and then
his joy reached its height. He was
often railed "the valiant iu combat'"
and was considered the leader of the
heroic dead. He had, as a special em
blem of his ollice, a magic wand called
Oambantein, and this he carried with
him, wherever he went.
One day Odin U-came oppressed with
many fdrebodings. He went to the
Norns to find out the cause of this, and
to inquire into his future. Jiut they
refused to lift the veil, and Odin felt his
d-jection ic?rease. After sutlering in
this way a long time, he suddenly
thought of how he might learn the
truth. So calling Hermod to him he
said :
"Mv son. in y heart is sadly depress
ed, and I commission you to perform
the deed I will tell you of, that I may
find peace. Know that at the point
farthest north in the land of the giants
is a race gifted with sight into hidden
things. (Jreatest among these seers is
KtKsthiof. At his command the cold
winds blow; the ice and snow come
plentifully; the very sun is darkened.
His land is full of snares and phan
toms, and pitfalls, and he lures many
nu n there onl v to rob and kill them.
"Take my eight-footed gray steed,
.Slfipnir,"' he continued. "He will
liear you safely over all this danger.
Hut when you meet Uissthiof, your
irreatest danger will begin. At a word
from him you will lie upon the ice
dead. I can prevent that, too. Take
t'is: it is mv runic staiT; it will dispel
all hindrance in your path and com
pel Itossthiofto answer all your ques
tions." With much more advice, Odin gave
his command to Hermod, and at his
lx-tword, the "nimble god" bowing
low, disappeared in an instant
He did all that his royal father naa
directed, and soon found himself in the
abode of Rossthiof. When the wizard
s:iw him he immediately began to utter
magic words to tiestroy his visitor iut
H-rmod iointed the runic stall
of Odin at the monster, and immedi
ately he was powerless. Herniod then
bound ltossthiof. hand ana toot, ana
when he had him thus in Lis power he
said to him:
"I come from great OJ!n. He com
mands that you lift the mist that
drjopsas a veil between the present
and the future, and reveal to me the
good and evil that the Norns have in
store for him. They have refused to
speak, and the spirit of All-Father is
troubled."
Then I iowthiof cunningly assumed a
troubled expression of countenance. He
was verv loth to yield np his secrets of
hidden lore, and so he pretended igno
rance.
"Who am I." he cried, "that the
great god of Asgard should deign to
think of me? I am helpless ana old,
finding comfort only beside my warm
hearth. I am as the worm that is
trampled under foot, whose noise none
hears, eave the watchful Heimdall, aa
he stands upon the bridge Iiifrost, its
lonely aud sole defender."
"Speak, ami speak truth," Hermod
sternly commanded, "or woe will be
fall your' I
"Nay, have r.erey, for I have harm
ed no creatur in all my life. How
shall I dare toVredict good or evil for
the ruler of Aagard? I am only a help
less old maurr
So he contftiued to whine and to
plead excusejjbut Hermod, losing all
patience, threatened him with punish-
IT
kjO lb
ESTABLISHED 1827.
WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 2. 189G.
nient bo dire, that finding his excuses
of no avail, the wizard at last consent
ed to obey.
He began to mutter terrible incanta
tions, aud a tierce rumbling noise was
heard. Then, suddenly, the earth
trembled; the winds howled like angry
wolves, the clouds came up in masses
and hid the sun, and the earth was
clothed in darkness.
From the midst of the blackness,
which hung like a pall, enshrouding
the universe, there suddenly Hashed a
ball of lire. It rolled across the heav
ens till it rested upon the horizon, and
there it spread out till the whole west
ern sky was a Maine.
Hermod gazed upon all this in won
der, fearing that it portended some
terrible evil. Nor was he wrong in his
conjecture, for suddenly there appeared
in the fiery glow a stream of blood,
llowing and growing ever larger and
deetier in color, till, turning into deep
est purple, it was lost in the blackness
of the surrounding sky.
"What means this awful sign?" the
god iinjuired. ,
"It means that blixxl shall How in
Valhalla. Odin shall lose a son by
violeneer'
"What!" cried Hermod, "shall I
bear such tidings to the king? Tell
me, is there no redress?"
"Iiook!" Itossthiof made answer.
There above the stream of blood Her
mod saw a beautiful woman appear.
She was strong and us grand to look
upon as the Volkyrs iu all their glory;
she was beautiful and wondrously fair
as the pale lights that Hash upon the
northern shores. She stood there a
moment in an attitude of defiance,
which melted as Hermod looked, into
softness, as when the warm sun shines
upon a snow-liouiid land, inciting it
and touching it into answering life.
Suddenly there stxd beside her a
little child, but so rapidly did he grow
to strength and manhood that Hermod
marveled. Only when he attained his
full height did the god notice that he
grasped firmly a bow and arrow.
As the picturestood out clearly, again
the wizard sjMike:
"If Odin woos and wins the fair
Itinda in the land of the Huthelies, she
w ill give to him a son who will avenge
his brother's death.
As the wizard ceased speaking, the
picture faded, and night settled down
again over the land. Then Hermod
released the aged Itossthiof, and mount
ing Sleipnir, sped rapidly to Asgard,
where he reeated to Odin all that he
had seen and heard.
The father of the g'Kls was very sad
to think that he would lose a son by
violence, but he was soon comforted at
the thought that another son would
avenge his brother's death, for that
was all the satisfaction a true North
erner ever desired or required.
How the prophecy of Itossthiof was
fulfilled is a well-known story. Haider,
the brave god of light, impregnable to
harm lecause of the love that all heav
en and earth bore for hiin, was slain
by Hodur with a branch of mistletoe.
Kvvrv one remembers how all things in
earth, sky and seas gave their solemn
vow not to injure the god. Only the
mistletoe, growing wild alsiut the gate
of Asgard, was thought too harmless a
plant to extract a vow from. Aud the
tale of the treacherous Loki, who di
rected the arrow of the blind Hodur,
god of darkness, after fashiouing it out
of a branch of mistletoe', and so causing
the death of the beloved Haider, is al
ready known to you, and needs no
repetition.
The sorrow of Odiu at the death of
his beloved son can well le imagined.
All Asgard mourned the loss of their
favorite, and the desire for retribution
was strong within the breast of Odiu.
When the grief for his loss was some
what softened, howewr, he remember
ed the prediction of Hvssthiof Then he
set out on a journey to visit the land of
Ruthenes.
The king of this eastern region was
Billing. He was no longer young, and
the fingers of the Xoms had already
woven his net and unwoven it till it
seemed but to need a few more threads
before the cord would snap.
Itinda, the beautiful princess of the
land, had many suitors for her hand.
Kings and princes and scnis of premiers
begged the honor of U ing her lord and
master; but the maiden, was as proud
and scornful as she was lua'itiful and
learned. Kach suitor in turn, as he
knelt before her, had received from her
delicate hand a lox upon the car. And
with that stinging his kingly or his
princely dignity, he had been but too
mn tent to leave the princess to vent
her shrewish temper upon his next
rival.
Just about this time, a large army
threatened to invade the provinces of
Hilling, and he was almost wild iu his
grief that Itinda would not marry, and
so provide him with a fit champion to
defend his dominions. Hut she was in
exorable.
"Why should I wed a man who lets
me box his ears?" she cried, and t'aen
her laughter would ring out, aud the
king could not blame her.
Again she would put her arms about
her father's neck and say:
"Mother have I none. You are fath
er ami mother to me. 'Tis you I love
with all my heart. My father, I will
never wed till I find one greater and
better than thou art!"
So, like all indulgent parents, he
would pat her golden head, and smile
upon her, and for the time the ap
proaching enemy would be forgotten.
The time came, however, when he
could no longer shut his eyes to the
danger that threatened him. Already
province upon province bail been laid
waste by the destroyer and the king
saw the conquerer steadily approach
ing, without being able to raise a hand
to defend himself.
As he sat in hispa'ace, one morning,
sad and despondent, there entered a
stranger. He was one in the strength
and prime of manhood. He wore a
large hat pulled well down over his
face, to conceal the fact that he had but
one eye. lie questioneti me King as to
his trouble and volunteered to lead the
army to battle with the enemy. Hill
ing was glad to find a charipion aud
willingly gave the command into the
hands of the stranger, who proved to
be no other than Odiu.
It need hardly be said that the father
of the gods won a signal victory ove
the combined enemies of the king,
and led his army back in triumph.
Then the king entertained his guest
most royally.
Hut with Itinda Odin gained no foot
ing. She spurned all his addresses,
and one day, as he knelt at her feet
asking a favor, she boxed tis ears. The
great Odin was amazed at her daring,
and, stung by her insult, he left the
palace. Hut he did not give up his
suit so easily. He determined to quell
the wild spirit of Him la.
The next day, disguised as a smith,
he came to the palace. There he fish
ioned strange and costly ornaments
out of gold and silver, and cunningly
made the metal grow under his touch,
until Hilling became the richest mon
arch of the world. He was delighted
with the smith, as a child is with a
new toy, and showered honors ujmhi
him.
When this had gone on for a long
time, aud Itinda hi'.d admired the won
derful ingenuity and workmanship of
the articles that seemed to grow under
the touch of Odin, the god liegged per
mission to sue for the hand of the
princess. The king was glad to give
his consent, for such a wonderful son-in-law
could make and keep him the
richest of monarchs.
Hut Itinda was not so much pleased,
and again, when Odin knelt liefore her,
this time as a smith, she boxed his ears.
Once more the god departed, ami the
princess laughed to think she was so
well rid of him.
Days came aud went, and the king
was chagrined to see all the gold .hat
had grown under the fingers of the
smith melt away and disappear. He
upbraided his daughter for her scorn
and willfulness; but by her sweet lies
to him aud her playfulness, she won
him again to her will.
In her heart, the princess was not
cruel or unkind, but she truly loved
her father, and wished new r to leave
him. So, iu a few days when Odiu
came again, this time as a dashing
warrior, and the handsomest man on
earth, thinking so to please her fancy,
he found her unchanged.
"Here," thought King Hilling, "is a
suitable companion for my daughter.
No stronger man than he lives, nor one
more handsome to hxik upon."
Many games were instituted, and in
them the young warrior triumphed
over all his comjietitors. He iTform-
ed deeds of valor and feats of strength;
he played upon different musical in
struments, and Itiuda reaily seemed
touched.
One day, however, when she saw
him kneel liefore her, begging her favor
she thought:
"He is like all the others."
So she served him again as she had
twice before.
Then was Odin's rage enkindled.
Drawing his runic sta!I" from beneath
his rolie he Hiinted it at her, and pro
nounced a spell so terrible that she fell
back into the arms of her attendants
um-onscious. And Odin departed from
the liable.'.
ben itinda recovered consciousness
the king saw with dismay that she was
mad. She moved about cold and list
less, sad and unfeeling. Nothing could
cheer her melancholy ; she took notice
of nothing. Hjt bird- and II iwersand
fishes, alwsys her delight, perished for
want of attention. Her musical instru
ments were mute, the string rusting
and snapping for lack of use.
The whole kingdom was plunged
into mourning, for the songs and the
laughter of Itinda no more broke the
silence of the palace.
Hilling was in despair, and called in
physicians aud seers, but all in vain.
Pale, old and still, the princess moved
ab'tut; she spoke not a word, and her
eyes saw nothing.
At last an old woman cam j to the
palace door aud said that she could
cure the princess. Immediately she
was admitted. When she stood before
the king she said :
"The princess must lie hound hand
and fixit, so that she can oiler no re
sistance. She must be put entirely in
my charge, or my charm will fail."
Anxious for the recovery of his
daughter, the king consented to the
old woman's terms, and all was done
as he commanded.
When the two were alone together,
Odin, for it was he disguised, pointed
his runic stair at Itin la and released
her from his spell. Tnen, before he
unbound her, he made her solemnly
promise to be his bride, and on her
vowing to fulfil his wish, he restored
her to her father, as strong and well as
ever.
So the prophecy was fulfilled, for
when a sou was the gilt of their mar
riage, he grew so quickly that in a day
he attained his full stature; and seizing
a bow and arrow, hastened to his fath
er iu Asgard, where he slew Hodur,
the god of darkness, and avenged the
death of his brother Haider.
Do you recognize the ticautifjl story
pictured forth by nature? Haider, the
light of the North, is slain by Hodur,
night Vali, the god of lengthening
days, is the fruit of the union of Odin,
the sun, aud Itinda, the frozen earth,
who by his very nature, slays Hodur,
the darkness of the far north.
A Bread and Batter Diet
The uewest diet suggested as pro
ductive of longevity is bread and but
ter. There is iu Hythe, England, a
lady who lives entirely on bread and
butter, aud has done so all her life, says
the New York Journal She has nev
er tasted meat, game, fish, vegetables,
jam, aud only a few kinds of biscuits
and sweets. She has never had a day's
illness in all her life, ami never had re
course to medicine of any description.
Her friends have tried in vain to in
duce her to cat something besides bread
aud butter, but she confines h-rself en
tirely to the diet on which she has ex
isted for at lea.-: 30 year. She is
strong and healthy in every resject
healthier, in fuct, than a great many
people who have lived upon exactly
the food that is supooscd to make us
feel as if illness were a total stranger
and always would lie.
For earache, put a couple of drops of
Thomas' Eelectric Oil on a bit of cot
ton and place it in the ear. Th- pain
will stop In a few moments. Simple
enough, isn't it?
e'rald
A Business Age.
"Of course you understand," said
the young man in a breezy, off-hand
way, "that this Is a business age, in
which everthing is done on business
principles."
The old gentleman seemed some
what surprised, but he inclined his
head as an indication that he under
stood and acquiesced in the oliserva
tion. "Hut I really don't see why you
should seek a private interview with
me to discuss business methods," he
answered.
"Why, the fact is," replied the en
terprising young man, "that I ah
think a gixxl deal of your daughter."
"And you wish to know what there
may lie in the line of dowry, I suj
pose," suggested the old gentleman.
"Not at all, not at ail," answered the
young man quickly. I am not so mer
cenary as ull that by a good deal. The
fact is, I have already spoken to her,
which I certainly shouldn't have done
liefore seeing you if it were merely a
question of dowry. She consented to
l mine, and '
"And you want my consent, I sup
pose; but I don't see "
Oh, that doesn't cut any figure at
all," broke in the young man in the
same breezy s rt of way. "Of course,
your consent would tie a handy thing
to have around the house and would
make the 'God Hless Our Home' look
more appropriate hanging on the wall,
but it isn't at ull necessary. We could
probably worry along without it, as
others have done, but as a matter of
business precaution "
"What in the world has business
precaution got to do with your marry
ing my daughter, if you don't care
alsiut a dowry?" exclaimed the old
man, with every evidence of being ex
asjierated. "Now, don't get excited," put in the
young man. "I see now where we've
got tangled up. I'nder the circum
stances business precaution would have
nothing to do with marrying your
daughter, l?ou(e I'd have her sure
enough, tiut with engagements it's
different. I would like to get a fine
diamond engagement ring for her, but j
I was engaged once liefore to a pretty
girl who rode a bicycle and was the
queen of a summer resort, and I don't
mind saying I would feel safer if you
would sign a bond to the effect that I
shall either have the ring or the girl in
a reasonable time say three mouths.
I'm enough of a sport to take some
chances, but I don't want to run the
risk of losing both, as I did before."
Chicago Post.
Chicago's Absent-Minded Man.
The alisent-minded man took his
scat at the restaurant table and, as
usual, buried his face at once in a
newspaper. A waiter placed a bill of
fare, a napkin and a knife and fork in
front of bun, aud stood two or three
minutes unnoticed before asking:
"What shall I bring, sir?"
"What's that?" said the alisent
minded man, starting up suddenly,
not remembering what it was all about.
"What do you want for lunch, sir?"
the waiter aked again.
"Oh! yes," said the absent-minded
man, trying to collect his wits. "Hritig
me a cup of coffee and a ham sand
wich." Tiie waiter supplied the order and
put a large pasteboard check for it
down on the table, the absent-minded
man continuing to read his paper.
The waiter went away to attend to the
wants of other people, and about 1
minutes later came back.
"Do you wish anything more?" he
asked politely.
"Yes," snapped the absent-miuded
man somewhat viciously. "Go and
get me a fresh ham sandwich. The
one you brought was as dry as a bone."
"Why, here is the sandwich I
brought." said the waiter, pushing the
plate toward him. You've eaten the
check." Chicago Times-Herald.
Nonsense about Santas-
As an illustration of the belief in
the transformation of human beings
into serpents, I will relate a circum
stance said to have occurred during the
first ln-ifof the present century. Near
Trexlertow, Lehigh county, dwelt a
farmer named Weiler. His wife and
three daughters tad, by some means
or other, incurred he enmity of a
witch wlfo lived but a short distance
away, when the latter, it is supposed,
took her revenge in the following man
ner: Whenever visitors came to the
Weiler residence the girls, without uny
premonition whatever, would suddenl
be changed into snakes, and after
crawling back and forth along the top
ridge of the wainscoting for several
minutes, they were restored to their
natural form. This curious transfor
mation occurred quite frequently and
the circumstances soon attained wide
spread notoriety. About the end of
the third mouth the spell was broken
and everything went on as before.
Another popular fallacy is the exist
ence of the hoop snake. This creature
is usually reported as capable of grasp
ing the tip of iu tail with its mouth,
and like a hoop running swiftly along
iu pursuit of an unwelcome intruder.
This snake is believed, furthermore, to
have, upon its tail a short, poisonous
horn, like a cock's spur, and if it
should strike any living creature death
would result The stories concerning
this marvelous snake usually end with
the statement that the person pursued
barely escapes and that the snake
strikes a tree instead, causing it to
wither and die.
You Can be Well
Wlien your blood is pure, rich and
nourishing for nerves aud muscles.
The blood is the vital fluid, and when
it is poor, thin and impure you must
either suller from some distressing dis
ease or you will easily fall a victim to
sudden changes, exposure, or overwork.
Keep your blood pure wit'i Hood's
Sarsaparilla aud be well.
Hood's Pills are the best after-dinner
pill; assist dige&tion, euro headache.
Uj cents.
WHOLE NO. 23G0.
Life in Smyrna-
There Is no Turkish society in Smyr
na, for Turkish women are not suppos
ed to exist outside of their own homes,
and society without women is like
"Hamlet" minus the gentleman of
that name. Hut the "Europeans"
Armenian, Jewish, Greek, French, and
Italian residents, whose families have
lived there for generations have a
flourishing social life and their one club,
the Cercle des Estrangers ( Foreign
club), which celebrated its centennial
some lifu-cn years ago, gives gorgeous
balls during the carnival season.
At these balls the most beautiful Par-
Is toilets sweep over the polished floors
of the ball risim, which is illumined by
thousands of candles iu the immense
Venetian chandeliers. The card room
is another feature of the club which
makes the uninitiated American stare.
It is sixty by fifty feet and the entire
floor is i-owred by a single Smyrna rug,
which Is so heavy it took eight camels
to bring it to the building. Some of
the card rules are queer. Hilliards and
cards are free. Certain games are per
mitted only at certain times of the year
and when poker comes in ecarte goes
out Uesique and harmless whLst flour
ish the whole year. The poker player
is unlimited, with a fixed anter-f five
cents, but there is a rule that every U-t
must be doubled at a raise, so some
times the game assumes serious propor
tions, as bluffing is unparalleled in its
audacity.
The men smoke everywhere except
at meals and church and they carry
rosaries, not for religious reasons but to
play with when talking, so they will
not smoke loo much. Men smoke at
afternoon calls and through square
dances at summer hops though not at
ceremonious winter parties. As a rule
only the men smoke, for anything like
fastness in a woman is frowned upon.
In minor matters the women wait
upon the men, handing chairs, getting
cigarettes, passing coffee, lights and the
like. If a man waits for a woman to
precede him through a door he is apt
to le laughed at as 'Pari-,iati." If the
women were lietter educated society
conversation would Is? more interest
ing. The women never read books or
paiers and French is the usual lan
guage spoken. Spelling is a science
the women know nothing of, but they
talk sensibly on practical themes and
are excellent housekeepers.
After the Cyclone.
Lieutenant "Jim" Johnson, of Hut
tery A. tells the story of a pathetic in
cident of the cyclone that visited this
city in May.
"We sent out an ambulance from
Jefferson Harracks the day after the
cyclone," said the lieutenant, "It was
placed at the disposal of tine of the
charitable organizations and for sever
al days was kept busy collecting cloth
ing for children.
"One day the ambulance was mak
ing the rounds in the West End and
made its last stop at a residence which
bore every evidence of lieing newly
occupied. The furniture was not ytt
in place and the hall was piled high
with trunks aud boxes. A maid an
swered the liell and went iu search of
her mistress, A lovely, sad-faced
woman in black came to the door.
" 'We are in search of children's
clothing, madam,' said the the collec
tor. 'There seems to be dearth of it at
the hospital.'
"The mistress of the house caught
her breath painfully. 'Yes, wait,' she
said, and hurried away. The maid
came soon, carrying a dainty bed tn
which a child of three or four might
have rested. They carried the pretty,
lace object to the ambulauee aud re
turned to find the sal woman in black
liearing ia her arms a pile of delicate
garments, such as a daintily nurtured
child would wear. The sad-faced
woman folded the little dresses with
tender touch and tears fell slowly upon
their whiteness as she smoothed and
patted them as she would an infant's
head.
"Have you any children, madam?'
asked the collector.
" 'I had until Wednesday, but our
only child was killed in the cyclone.'
"She rested her head on the pile of
little garments and wept heart-brokenly.
"Hy degrees she told her stry.
The family had lived in the South Side
and their home had been destroyed by
the fearful storm. The baby's tender
body had been crushed by falling
stones. The mother was sending baby's
clothes, no longer needed, to the moth
er whose children had been sparedL
St Louis Republic.
The "World's Newspapers.
A German statistician has recently
comp.'ed figures as to the total number
of newspapers printed during a year,
which h. estimates at 12,iJ00,0UO,n(j(
copies.
To gatlser a.- adequate ide.t of this
enormous quantity, it might be stated
that all these papt s spread out would
more than cover all 'he continents and
islands of the earth.
The weight of the paper would
amount to 7Sl,240 tons.
If this entire edition were ?r Ik? print
ed by one single press, the largest and
most rapid one now in use, the total
edition would take three hundred and
thirty-three years to print
Stacked up vertically, this quantity
would form a column of aiO.OUu feet ii:
height
Suppiwe that every reader devotes
but five minutes per day to the reading
of his newspaper, the time used by the
total population of the earth would
amount to liM.OOJ years.
The "New Philanthropy."
It's the "new" philanthropy nowa
days, as well as the "new" woman, ob
serves the New York Sun. When the
chairman of one of the philanthropic
committees arose to re-ad her report at
a recent convention she began by an
nouncing that she had but one charita
ble achievement to record. "But that
one Is something to be proud of," she
added, "aud I'm sure you'll all agree
with me. A poor woman wanted a di
vorce from her huslrand, and our eoru
mittee went to work and succeeded in
getting it for her."
Horseless Carriages to bs
Comparatively Cheap.
Are the days of the bicycle suprema
cy numbered, and the poor horse
threatened with extinction? A Brook
lyn genius, s:ys the New York Jour
nal, ha p Tfe 'ce.! the horseless car
riage, in which all the objections to tin '
old "freak" of tli.it name have tren
overcome. It is as light as a victoria,
noiseless as the bicycle, finl as an e-pre-ss
train ami can Is- bandied with
ease, he claims.
This interesting invention is now in
a carriage shop in Brooklyn. After
years of patient labor the inventors
have turned out a vehicle cheap enough
to be made of general u-c, and thereby
revolutionize street tratV.e.
The carriage looks exactly like any
ordinary hore carriage, the e'ectrio
storage Iruttery U ing completely hid
den. Hy merely turning a handle bar,
the cjrri-ie can be turned in any di
rection, and the s'seed regulated. The
great laulr f the old horseless carriage
was the liitbti'.ty in turning, bet in
this instance this has Iw-en successfully
overcome.
Most norseless rarriagi.s are run by
petroleum or gasoline. These motive
jiowers gave the pa-angers the feeling
of being on an engine, and when not
noisy there Ls invariably more or less of
a disagreeable odor. Hut in the Brook
lyn invention electric power will i
away with at leasf the odors.
Then again a hi'bir rate of sed is
attained -the limit Icing ."Smiles :in
hour. There is little danger of run
ning out of electricity, for by simply
attaching a drop wire to : neigiilsiripg
telegraph or telephone line tbe storage
battery can be recharged ; it would be
diflicult to prove that any electricity
had been borrowed. Another method
of supplying the storage battery is by
an ingenious contrivance which re
stores electricity to the buttery from
the motors whenever the carriage is go
ing down hill.
An invention iu itself is the combi
nation l.K-k on the motor lever. It is
an ordinary bx k, so far as working it
goes, but when locked it is impossible
to move the carriage by electricity.
The owner can safely leave the c-arri.ii.-e
alone in the street while basking iu the
smiles of his lady friends and feel no
anxiety about losing it. Oi" all its ad
vantages over the old carriage, what
will most recommend it to the public
is its extreme cheapness. When it is
considered that the present prices range
from J fCiO to M,imi jvr) Ls remark
ably cheap. Tiie mechanism is light,
inexpensive and very simple. The
wheels are pneumatic tired, and the
springs of tiie latest improved inven
tion. The carriage will have the easy
rolling motion of a palace car.
The carriage makers do not intend to
confine their manufacturing to sfylHi
turnouts, but will use the same patent
for tiie propulsion if f.re engines
brewery wagons, stages and ottur
heavy vehicles. The firm claims their
invention to be greatly superior to the
one which the Land n Omnibus Com
pany has adopted, and by which itf)
omnibuses will sum be oie rated.
The jsqHilar conception of a horse
less carriage is at present the familiar
article pu-hed by nurse girls in the
park. Many people have heard of the
real horseless carriage, but few have
seen them. They are iu the same cate
gory in the public estimation as the bi
cycle was in the early seventies. Hut
once fill desiecle s-viety takes it up.
toe bicycle will have to step out and
the horseless carriage will lie "king,"
and as opular as the bicycle is at pres
ent. Of course, new patents and in
creased dman-i will lower the price.
Our streets will then present a wonder
ful sight. To the clang of the trolley
an.l jingle of the bicycle will be added
the fire alarm belis and whistles of the
horseless carriages. Timid persons
will wait hours before venturing to
cross a street, and mothers whose ten
der brood liave gone to sch'iolwill lj
nervous of their being run over. Then
perhaps bridges will sp.m such cross
ings as Fourteenth street, Twentv-
third street and Herald Square.
In the days to come, when the au
tomobiles shall outnumber all other
vehicles and means of passenger and
freight traiisjMirtatiou on the streets,
thepreseut laws of the r:ad must le
radically revised. A r ile of keeping
to the right and turning out to the left
would be a necessity. Ail streets and
Umlevards will be divided into two
sharply defined sections, which will ha
indicated by aline of ports or a nar
row strip of parking.
Another thing that may be looked
to at this session of the Legislature is
the passage of laws regulating the
maximum speed at which horseless
carriages will be allowed to run, and
perhaps the greatest boon to suffering
humanity that this popular horseless
carriage will afford will be the subjuga
tion, humiliation and relegation to the
past of that end-of-t he-century freak,
the cadaverous scorcher.
Rock, Read anl Chara.
A Chicago genius has been recently
granted a patent on a new and improv
ed churn. In the days of our grand
fathers and graudmothers the weekly
churning necessitated much labor, but
now, in this age of progress, it has be
come possible to read, rock and chum
all at the same lime. After placing
the cream to lie churn-d i:i the cluiru-
iug apparatus o:k- can attach it bv
means of a tu!e and an air-basting ap
paratus to a rocking chair, aud the
person appointed to churn the butter
has only to seat himself mul rock.
The oscillatory movcm 'tit of rocking
c-vtses a flo-.v of air throaga th ; tuU-s
and the entry of the air into the cream
results in an agitation that causes the
production of butter, the churning op
eration therefore becoming both easy
and expeditious.
It may be observed that the inven
tion is capable of use as a washing ma
chine, as well as for churning butter.
To ellA't this all that is required is to
change tiie size and shape of the cream
receptacle so that it can be made to
contiiii the clothes to lie cleaned, after
"hich the receptacle is loaded with
tl e clothes and the washing operation
is i erforuied by rocking the chair.
Something to Snow.
It may lie worth nething to know
that the very liest medK.'ne for restor
ing the tired out nervous system to
healthy vigor is Electric Bit'cr.:. Thi
medicine Ls purely Vegetable, acts !"
giving tone to the nerve centres in tbe
stomach, gently stimulate the Liver
and Kidneys and aids these organs in
throwing olT impurities in the biood.
Electric Bitters improves the appetite,
aids digestion, and is pronounced by
those who have tried it as the very best
blood purifier and nt rvc tonic. Try it,
Solu for iO cents or jl.UO per bottle at
J. N. Snyder's drug store, Somerset, or
at Brallier'a drug store, Berlin.
in
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