"I 1 ! Somerset Herald. TO TAKE TH PLACE OF THi BICYCLE. c Tnhlination. cr&UL -v y:cA:tAny nionilng at : I I n ailnllfV. Otherwise .,j:'l f - ..,, be discontinued until : l' J I'oMniastere ne- UK T will be held nwponaible ,., tie;r F"i " n in. .v i f one postonioe . . v.. r til name of the form er nu"" ' ... . w,;.lo3a Audreaa In isj tmtT, I'a. 1 ,H,J" li s NOTARY n-CUC -14 tnjmerxrv, t a. .- V,-' KliS. ',' - t!.r. ""' ;. i,. i,N re will i at- . ......M.I-s-.U-iW, V A- A 1 L AilA j rvui.'-i-scL, I'. 4 ,-..ri iiouc 1 .-..- " ,. ... i...... I., i ) - A i -1-A VV , .-..iiii-ix-l I'a i. V ... ili'-l'lvi-h."! , s. . . ;, I'a. -r..:, i ii. o . I'l i---v Jv' , s, .. r. .11. ,.1.1- -i.A v., :;uisv:, I'a. ' !iiHti 'J OUhlU- I'D- i,iii.i-!'i:i''u aUJtJllilliy .'..( xoW, utJinifciU; ;:i i;-:.. I W til alU'Ji lO :N H. l'ii:- .Ui -.ia.w .i-Ai-LVW, -oiit-r!-t, lu s ... v -r i i- N.;ur,K .tUU ;;UJllillig rU. Ut. WltU AiH..i;.Nt.i-AIU A, - r. a. t.t.t ijiiuint'-i. uaa all a ..;... -.'Li!-..KN. L. C. ULbuKN. Jtijhs & : oli; nx. A ii'Ji.SL- -A 1 -llA iiiu-it-i, I'a. .-to our ".rt will be L LAhK. Ai i"KN tY-AT-LAW, iurvl, l'ii. A., u..iti. t-uu-uok-ti tu tuiu Wlil o fi...ia. w. a. rari ty. Ai'i.ii;. L b-a'1-LA W, T-.-!iirLi-l in tti- ir re be lJ..i':.i.. V tU.li.n-.l In I III lit l.:,jn LtT-:. m ln.-v.li liiiiiiutri ft. .'AI:TiiKIl- M. D., i'ii'.:.i amii i;ih.oN", . .iucrM-t, I'a. - fci i'.:r,..t -.rtT.t, .i-"Ml; t". I ftii" iAN u.t l;,r.(.N, S.I1IM I'M. ,;- fl(-,.u, .rvwvi. l.i mt- cili-i-V. am, .-i; K.j KON, "V - h. . Ki:.;:,ii:LL, -.rv.,.t to ,,le eitim r-: j::.! v I ill.-.- ru. -w I-i-l .11 i.iynijuun J '' MM.I.KX, " t' ti. iwrvittlon ., -ip.:i-..-il Mii.-Ufti.ry. "Hint 51 (-01 rkoTH, tuueral Director. l'utri..t Land Surveyor ilsi Oilsl tingi Lubricating Oils (iasoline, ::ii , yrj- kn.,wn pduct ol Petroleum u'"-t uuif,,rn,!y factory Oils VOL. XLV. XO. -THE First laiioil Bit OF- Someret, Ponn'a. -o- Capital, S50.QOO. Surplus, S24.000. j DEPOSITS RECEIVE (l LARGE ANCSMALL AMOUNTS. PAVAtLE ON DEMAND. ACCOUNTS OF USC ANT, rANMEKS. TOCK DEALERS, AND OTKER3 SOLICITED DISCOUNTS DAILY. IlOAitl OF DIRECTORS. I.AKI K M. HIl KS, GEO. R. SCTl.I JA.MKS U 1T;H, W. H. MILI.KK, JOHS It, .; oTT, KUBT. H. SCULL, KIWAKDMT1J-. : : PKFXIIKNT. i l r. l, : iv Ci i i.r. 1 1 'i-.. a. HAKVEV M. K1;i:KI.E-, . tiiSlUEK. The funds and securities of tills tmtiK are w cun ly pn:-ted in a ctdebrated CoRl.iMt Hl B Gi.AK Tikkik Sail The only safe made atao luttly burjjlar-pnHif. Tiia Snset Coirnty Mcaal OF SOMERSET PA. rO: EUbli$tw), 1877, Crun'ifd is I HHIonil, 1890 CAPITAL, S50.000 SURPLUS AND UN- DIVIDED PROFITS S23.000 Chas. J. Ilarrison, - "President Win. II. Koontz, - Vice President Milton J. Pritts, - - Casliier Geo. S. Harrison, - A?3't Catbier. Directors , Sam. R. Ilarrindti, Wn ErxNley, J.isiah Sjc'ht, Jonas M. Cook, John II. Snviler, John Stufit, Joseph H. Iavis, Noah S. Miller, llarrisou Snyder, Jerome StuC't, Chas. VT. Snyder Customers of this bank will receive 1 he most litx-nil tni intuit consistent witUsafi banking. I'artim wihin: to wend money east or weft can lie Mccommodaled by draft for any amount. Money nnd valuabh-s securtMl by one of Iie hoid's (Vlebrated Kaf(, with mt improved time !ock. Collections made in all pa rta of Uie United .st;:t'. Charges in.Klenite. Account iind dt pobil solicited. A. H. HUSTOW, Undertaker and Embalmer. A GOOD HEARSE, and everything pertaining to funerals funn tnued. SOMERSET - - Pa Jacob D. Swank, Watchmaker and Jeweler, Next Door West of Lutheran Church, Somerset, - Pa. I Am Now prepared to supply the puUic j with Clocks, Watches, and Jew elry of all descriptions, art Cheap aH the Cliea pet. REPAIRING A SPECIALTr. All work guaranteed. Ixwk at my etck before making your purchaser. J. D. SWANK. ALWAYS On Hand. BEST IN THE MARKET. E Jarecki Phosphate, Raisin's Phosphate, Lime, Crushed Coke. Hard Coal Salisbury Soft Coal, At the Old Stand near the Somer set fc Cambria It. R. Station. Prices Right. Peter Fink THE KEELEY CURE If atpeclal boon to business men who, harinr drifted uneraneiously Into the drink nabit ana awaken to find the disea.e of aicoholism fastened upon them, rendering them unt to manaire af fairs requiring a clear train. A four wek course 01 truauneiit at tna PITTSBURa KEELEY INSTTTUTE. j Ko. 4346 Fifth Arenae, mum to thera all their powers, mental and? ; pbyxiraJ, dextroys the abnormal appetila, and ', restores thera to the condition ther were in ue- ' f'e ther indnlerd in stimulanta. "This has been ' done in more than imo caaea treated here, and among them some of your own neighbors, to whom we can refer with confidence aa to the absolute safety and efficiency of the Keeley Core. ine itiuext ana man aeareninr inTenirauoa ia n vited. 6eud for pamtihiet giving full Inlorme. - BAN K Uon. j . A 25. o ire Mftlidn J valjo in a Uittlo of Hood's S;irsa liarilli t!ian In any otlirr iTPjiaration. More ' n-uirfl. more c.-irc taken, iiinro i-M-;isn iiKiirri'il in its maniifurturr. It rott tiio pnri-tor an.l tlw it.-afcT More '"It it lost tlio rullMllurr Irtat, as ht j,i-ts inor liosa's for h: iiioik j. More curative iwtT is secureil by iu peculiar rriili!ition, lroort ion au.I process hi.-h makes it N"uliar t' itself. M Ore lle are employed ami more swicc oc cupied in in I-alKirntory than any ntlier. More ii'l. rful ("tires rtlertrd nnil mitre tes tinemials received than by anv ntlier. More xales and more tnere:i. year 1y year are reorttKl l.v dniprists. More I'e.'I'Ie are tikiii flood's S:irs;iparilla t.xlay than any other, and more are taking it today tnaii ever liefore. More and KTII.L, Moll K reasons niillt be piven why you Khouid take mi yn Sarsaparilla The ne True IU.hhI rurifier. SI: six fir $s. , j r-n cure all I.lver Ills and IIOOCI S PlllS Sick Headache. Scents. rsi.E.Uhl. V T- NEW FALL GOODS New Style Fall and Winter ress Goods now in stock. They are pretty and cheap. A complete line of all kinds of Flannels, Flannelettes, and other goods now in stock Ladies' and Children's Now coming ia. Call and see tliciu. Mrs. A E. UHL. ELY'S CREAM BAtM 1 poaltlveeure. Apply into the nostras. It i quickly absorhed. cniu at lrnin-ntsorbT mail : eamplea Kc. by maiL Bl!OTU,:U3. 60 Warren fU. New ork CUv. ScIentiHo American Agency for CAVEATS. TRADE MARKS. OCSICN fATEMTS COPVRiCHTB. toJ Trr tufnrmatfon and fre. Hand bonk write to MU.N-S CO, o4X EolwT. MW VORC O'ldmt bare.il 1-rr lecnrinir pen la Amcrtea. err Mtent tafcea oat lr u Is broairhl before toe lAiUic by a noooe ia (ne oi tuuw la the fricuiififractiQH lArmt clrerjlattmi of anr -lentlfie paner tn the world, t-pknuldlf limtrateJ. ho tutelli.-n man rtould be IUvoul IU Wee';ly, f3.WOa rir; aiiixraonthfc AIJf. a.VT UO lilrtnif- lruaIwajrr' varkClty. IMPORTANT TO ADTEHTISEKS. nf tha countrr ntnera is farad It. TLen.inirLon'i Courtr Beat LUts. Shrewd adrerusers avtil tLenisolvea of these lists, a copy of which can be Iil or Jiemingtoo .Broa; of Kcw York & PitUburg. m ods -a V .a isA .air u a av hb omei SOMERSET, PA., IF YOU'EE GOOD. Santa (Taus'Il come tonight. If you're good. And do what you know la right, Aa you should; Dovq the chimney he will creep, Bringing you a woolly sheep. And doll that got to sleep; If you're good. Santa (Thus will drive his sleigh Thro' the wood, But he'll come around this way If you're gocd. With a wind-up bird that sings And a puzzle made of rings Jumping-Jacksand funny things If you're good. lie will bring you cars that "go," If you're good, And a rucking -horsey oh I If he would! And a dolly, if you please. That says "Main V when you squeeze It hi Ml bring you one of these. If you're good. Santa grieves when you are bad, As he should ; I! ut it makes him very glad When you're good, lie is wise, and he's a dear ; Just do riiflit and never fear ; He'll remember you each year, If you're kimmI. lames Courtney Challiss in December ft- Nicholas. THE WIZARD'S PROPHECY. A "Wonder-Story From the Mythology of the North. From the Philadelphia Times. Odin, the creat irod of the Xorselaud and ruler over Valhalla, the alode of the gods, was called All-Father, the un created and unseen, whose will wa law. Hut granting him this, Odin had not the power to foresee the event that would fchape his own destiny. He had many sons, but among them was one who was his special companion and attendant. His name wasller mod, and so mick and agile, so light aud swift, were all his motions, that he was called "the nimWe god." Hermod was a Ri.cial favorite with all the dwellers in Valhalla, for his faee was ever smiling, and his desire was always to help and to serve others. This characteristic, combined with his rapid motion, had made him the mes senger of all the gods, and of Odin, in particular. To show his favor, Odin had presented to Hermod a magnifi cent corslet and helmet, for the youth ful deity was fond of riding to battle, and his happiness was complete on re ceipt of these gifts. When the Valkyrs, helmet-clad, with hair llowing on the wind, rode their fierce and fleet-winged uteeds to the battle-field Hermod could not resist the sight, but would join them. And sometimes Odiu would lend him his powerful spear, Oungnir, which, wav ed over the heads of the comlatants, incited them to fiercest combat. After the conflict Hermod conducted some of the elect to Valhalla, and then his joy reached its height. He was often railed "the valiant iu combat'" and was considered the leader of the heroic dead. He had, as a special em blem of his ollice, a magic wand called Oambantein, and this he carried with him, wherever he went. One day Odin U-came oppressed with many fdrebodings. He went to the Norns to find out the cause of this, and to inquire into his future. Jiut they refused to lift the veil, and Odin felt his d-jection ic?rease. After sutlering in this way a long time, he suddenly thought of how he might learn the truth. So calling Hermod to him he said : "Mv son. in y heart is sadly depress ed, and I commission you to perform the deed I will tell you of, that I may find peace. Know that at the point farthest north in the land of the giants is a race gifted with sight into hidden things. (Jreatest among these seers is KtKsthiof. At his command the cold winds blow; the ice and snow come plentifully; the very sun is darkened. His land is full of snares and phan toms, and pitfalls, and he lures many nu n there onl v to rob and kill them. "Take my eight-footed gray steed, .Slfipnir,"' he continued. "He will liear you safely over all this danger. Hut when you meet Uissthiof, your irreatest danger will begin. At a word from him you will lie upon the ice dead. I can prevent that, too. Take t'is: it is mv runic staiT; it will dispel all hindrance in your path and com pel Itossthiofto answer all your ques tions." With much more advice, Odin gave his command to Hermod, and at his lx-tword, the "nimble god" bowing low, disappeared in an instant He did all that his royal father naa directed, and soon found himself in the abode of Rossthiof. When the wizard s:iw him he immediately began to utter magic words to tiestroy his visitor iut H-rmod iointed the runic stall of Odin at the monster, and immedi ately he was powerless. Herniod then bound ltossthiof. hand ana toot, ana when he had him thus in Lis power he said to him: "I come from great OJ!n. He com mands that you lift the mist that drjopsas a veil between the present and the future, and reveal to me the good and evil that the Norns have in store for him. They have refused to speak, and the spirit of All-Father is troubled." Then I iowthiof cunningly assumed a troubled expression of countenance. He was verv loth to yield np his secrets of hidden lore, and so he pretended igno rance. "Who am I." he cried, "that the great god of Asgard should deign to think of me? I am helpless ana old, finding comfort only beside my warm hearth. I am as the worm that is trampled under foot, whose noise none hears, eave the watchful Heimdall, aa he stands upon the bridge Iiifrost, its lonely aud sole defender." "Speak, ami speak truth," Hermod sternly commanded, "or woe will be fall your' I "Nay, have r.erey, for I have harm ed no creatur in all my life. How shall I dare toVredict good or evil for the ruler of Aagard? I am only a help less old maurr So he contftiued to whine and to plead excusejjbut Hermod, losing all patience, threatened him with punish- IT kjO lb ESTABLISHED 1827. WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 2. 189G. nient bo dire, that finding his excuses of no avail, the wizard at last consent ed to obey. He began to mutter terrible incanta tions, aud a tierce rumbling noise was heard. Then, suddenly, the earth trembled; the winds howled like angry wolves, the clouds came up in masses and hid the sun, and the earth was clothed in darkness. From the midst of the blackness, which hung like a pall, enshrouding the universe, there suddenly Hashed a ball of lire. It rolled across the heav ens till it rested upon the horizon, and there it spread out till the whole west ern sky was a Maine. Hermod gazed upon all this in won der, fearing that it portended some terrible evil. Nor was he wrong in his conjecture, for suddenly there appeared in the fiery glow a stream of blood, llowing and growing ever larger and deetier in color, till, turning into deep est purple, it was lost in the blackness of the surrounding sky. "What means this awful sign?" the god iinjuired. , "It means that blixxl shall How in Valhalla. Odin shall lose a son by violeneer' "What!" cried Hermod, "shall I bear such tidings to the king? Tell me, is there no redress?" "Iiook!" Itossthiof made answer. There above the stream of blood Her mod saw a beautiful woman appear. She was strong and us grand to look upon as the Volkyrs iu all their glory; she was beautiful and wondrously fair as the pale lights that Hash upon the northern shores. She stood there a moment in an attitude of defiance, which melted as Hermod looked, into softness, as when the warm sun shines upon a snow-liouiid land, inciting it and touching it into answering life. Suddenly there stxd beside her a little child, but so rapidly did he grow to strength and manhood that Hermod marveled. Only when he attained his full height did the god notice that he grasped firmly a bow and arrow. As the picturestood out clearly, again the wizard sjMike: "If Odin woos and wins the fair Itinda in the land of the Huthelies, she w ill give to him a son who will avenge his brother's death. As the wizard ceased speaking, the picture faded, and night settled down again over the land. Then Hermod released the aged Itossthiof, and mount ing Sleipnir, sped rapidly to Asgard, where he reeated to Odin all that he had seen and heard. The father of the g'Kls was very sad to think that he would lose a son by violence, but he was soon comforted at the thought that another son would avenge his brother's death, for that was all the satisfaction a true North erner ever desired or required. How the prophecy of Itossthiof was fulfilled is a well-known story. Haider, the brave god of light, impregnable to harm lecause of the love that all heav en and earth bore for hiin, was slain by Hodur with a branch of mistletoe. Kvvrv one remembers how all things in earth, sky and seas gave their solemn vow not to injure the god. Only the mistletoe, growing wild alsiut the gate of Asgard, was thought too harmless a plant to extract a vow from. Aud the tale of the treacherous Loki, who di rected the arrow of the blind Hodur, god of darkness, after fashiouing it out of a branch of mistletoe', and so causing the death of the beloved Haider, is al ready known to you, and needs no repetition. The sorrow of Odiu at the death of his beloved son can well le imagined. All Asgard mourned the loss of their favorite, and the desire for retribution was strong within the breast of Odiu. When the grief for his loss was some what softened, howewr, he remember ed the prediction of Hvssthiof Then he set out on a journey to visit the land of Ruthenes. The king of this eastern region was Billing. He was no longer young, and the fingers of the Xoms had already woven his net and unwoven it till it seemed but to need a few more threads before the cord would snap. Itinda, the beautiful princess of the land, had many suitors for her hand. Kings and princes and scnis of premiers begged the honor of U ing her lord and master; but the maiden, was as proud and scornful as she was lua'itiful and learned. Kach suitor in turn, as he knelt before her, had received from her delicate hand a lox upon the car. And with that stinging his kingly or his princely dignity, he had been but too mn tent to leave the princess to vent her shrewish temper upon his next rival. Just about this time, a large army threatened to invade the provinces of Hilling, and he was almost wild iu his grief that Itinda would not marry, and so provide him with a fit champion to defend his dominions. Hut she was in exorable. "Why should I wed a man who lets me box his ears?" she cried, and t'aen her laughter would ring out, aud the king could not blame her. Again she would put her arms about her father's neck and say: "Mother have I none. You are fath er ami mother to me. 'Tis you I love with all my heart. My father, I will never wed till I find one greater and better than thou art!" So, like all indulgent parents, he would pat her golden head, and smile upon her, and for the time the ap proaching enemy would be forgotten. The time came, however, when he could no longer shut his eyes to the danger that threatened him. Already province upon province bail been laid waste by the destroyer and the king saw the conquerer steadily approach ing, without being able to raise a hand to defend himself. As he sat in hispa'ace, one morning, sad and despondent, there entered a stranger. He was one in the strength and prime of manhood. He wore a large hat pulled well down over his face, to conceal the fact that he had but one eye. lie questioneti me King as to his trouble and volunteered to lead the army to battle with the enemy. Hill ing was glad to find a charipion aud willingly gave the command into the hands of the stranger, who proved to be no other than Odiu. It need hardly be said that the father of the gods won a signal victory ove the combined enemies of the king, and led his army back in triumph. Then the king entertained his guest most royally. Hut with Itinda Odin gained no foot ing. She spurned all his addresses, and one day, as he knelt at her feet asking a favor, she boxed tis ears. The great Odin was amazed at her daring, and, stung by her insult, he left the palace. Hut he did not give up his suit so easily. He determined to quell the wild spirit of Him la. The next day, disguised as a smith, he came to the palace. There he fish ioned strange and costly ornaments out of gold and silver, and cunningly made the metal grow under his touch, until Hilling became the richest mon arch of the world. He was delighted with the smith, as a child is with a new toy, and showered honors ujmhi him. When this had gone on for a long time, aud Itinda hi'.d admired the won derful ingenuity and workmanship of the articles that seemed to grow under the touch of Odin, the god liegged per mission to sue for the hand of the princess. The king was glad to give his consent, for such a wonderful son-in-law could make and keep him the richest of monarchs. Hut Itinda was not so much pleased, and again, when Odin knelt liefore her, this time as a smith, she boxed his ears. Once more the god departed, ami the princess laughed to think she was so well rid of him. Days came aud went, and the king was chagrined to see all the gold .hat had grown under the fingers of the smith melt away and disappear. He upbraided his daughter for her scorn and willfulness; but by her sweet lies to him aud her playfulness, she won him again to her will. In her heart, the princess was not cruel or unkind, but she truly loved her father, and wished new r to leave him. So, iu a few days when Odiu came again, this time as a dashing warrior, and the handsomest man on earth, thinking so to please her fancy, he found her unchanged. "Here," thought King Hilling, "is a suitable companion for my daughter. No stronger man than he lives, nor one more handsome to hxik upon." Many games were instituted, and in them the young warrior triumphed over all his comjietitors. He iTform- ed deeds of valor and feats of strength; he played upon different musical in struments, and Itiuda reaily seemed touched. One day, however, when she saw him kneel liefore her, begging her favor she thought: "He is like all the others." So she served him again as she had twice before. Then was Odin's rage enkindled. Drawing his runic sta!I" from beneath his rolie he Hiinted it at her, and pro nounced a spell so terrible that she fell back into the arms of her attendants um-onscious. And Odin departed from the liable.'. ben itinda recovered consciousness the king saw with dismay that she was mad. She moved about cold and list less, sad and unfeeling. Nothing could cheer her melancholy ; she took notice of nothing. Hjt bird- and II iwersand fishes, alwsys her delight, perished for want of attention. Her musical instru ments were mute, the string rusting and snapping for lack of use. The whole kingdom was plunged into mourning, for the songs and the laughter of Itinda no more broke the silence of the palace. Hilling was in despair, and called in physicians aud seers, but all in vain. Pale, old and still, the princess moved ab'tut; she spoke not a word, and her eyes saw nothing. At last an old woman cam j to the palace door aud said that she could cure the princess. Immediately she was admitted. When she stood before the king she said : "The princess must lie hound hand and fixit, so that she can oiler no re sistance. She must be put entirely in my charge, or my charm will fail." Anxious for the recovery of his daughter, the king consented to the old woman's terms, and all was done as he commanded. When the two were alone together, Odin, for it was he disguised, pointed his runic stair at Itin la and released her from his spell. Tnen, before he unbound her, he made her solemnly promise to be his bride, and on her vowing to fulfil his wish, he restored her to her father, as strong and well as ever. So the prophecy was fulfilled, for when a sou was the gilt of their mar riage, he grew so quickly that in a day he attained his full stature; and seizing a bow and arrow, hastened to his fath er iu Asgard, where he slew Hodur, the god of darkness, and avenged the death of his brother Haider. Do you recognize the ticautifjl story pictured forth by nature? Haider, the light of the North, is slain by Hodur, night Vali, the god of lengthening days, is the fruit of the union of Odin, the sun, aud Itinda, the frozen earth, who by his very nature, slays Hodur, the darkness of the far north. A Bread and Batter Diet The uewest diet suggested as pro ductive of longevity is bread and but ter. There is iu Hythe, England, a lady who lives entirely on bread and butter, aud has done so all her life, says the New York Journal She has nev er tasted meat, game, fish, vegetables, jam, aud only a few kinds of biscuits and sweets. She has never had a day's illness in all her life, ami never had re course to medicine of any description. Her friends have tried in vain to in duce her to cat something besides bread aud butter, but she confines h-rself en tirely to the diet on which she has ex isted for at lea.-: 30 year. She is strong and healthy in every resject healthier, in fuct, than a great many people who have lived upon exactly the food that is supooscd to make us feel as if illness were a total stranger and always would lie. For earache, put a couple of drops of Thomas' Eelectric Oil on a bit of cot ton and place it in the ear. Th- pain will stop In a few moments. Simple enough, isn't it? e'rald A Business Age. "Of course you understand," said the young man in a breezy, off-hand way, "that this Is a business age, in which everthing is done on business principles." The old gentleman seemed some what surprised, but he inclined his head as an indication that he under stood and acquiesced in the oliserva tion. "Hut I really don't see why you should seek a private interview with me to discuss business methods," he answered. "Why, the fact is," replied the en terprising young man, "that I ah think a gixxl deal of your daughter." "And you wish to know what there may lie in the line of dowry, I suj pose," suggested the old gentleman. "Not at all, not at ail," answered the young man quickly. I am not so mer cenary as ull that by a good deal. The fact is, I have already spoken to her, which I certainly shouldn't have done liefore seeing you if it were merely a question of dowry. She consented to l mine, and ' "And you want my consent, I sup pose; but I don't see " Oh, that doesn't cut any figure at all," broke in the young man in the same breezy s rt of way. "Of course, your consent would tie a handy thing to have around the house and would make the 'God Hless Our Home' look more appropriate hanging on the wall, but it isn't at ull necessary. We could probably worry along without it, as others have done, but as a matter of business precaution " "What in the world has business precaution got to do with your marry ing my daughter, if you don't care alsiut a dowry?" exclaimed the old man, with every evidence of being ex asjierated. "Now, don't get excited," put in the young man. "I see now where we've got tangled up. I'nder the circum stances business precaution would have nothing to do with marrying your daughter, l?ou(e I'd have her sure enough, tiut with engagements it's different. I would like to get a fine diamond engagement ring for her, but j I was engaged once liefore to a pretty girl who rode a bicycle and was the queen of a summer resort, and I don't mind saying I would feel safer if you would sign a bond to the effect that I shall either have the ring or the girl in a reasonable time say three mouths. I'm enough of a sport to take some chances, but I don't want to run the risk of losing both, as I did before." Chicago Post. Chicago's Absent-Minded Man. The alisent-minded man took his scat at the restaurant table and, as usual, buried his face at once in a newspaper. A waiter placed a bill of fare, a napkin and a knife and fork in front of bun, aud stood two or three minutes unnoticed before asking: "What shall I bring, sir?" "What's that?" said the alisent minded man, starting up suddenly, not remembering what it was all about. "What do you want for lunch, sir?" the waiter aked again. "Oh! yes," said the absent-minded man, trying to collect his wits. "Hritig me a cup of coffee and a ham sand wich." Tiie waiter supplied the order and put a large pasteboard check for it down on the table, the absent-minded man continuing to read his paper. The waiter went away to attend to the wants of other people, and about 1 minutes later came back. "Do you wish anything more?" he asked politely. "Yes," snapped the absent-miuded man somewhat viciously. "Go and get me a fresh ham sandwich. The one you brought was as dry as a bone." "Why, here is the sandwich I brought." said the waiter, pushing the plate toward him. You've eaten the check." Chicago Times-Herald. Nonsense about Santas- As an illustration of the belief in the transformation of human beings into serpents, I will relate a circum stance said to have occurred during the first ln-ifof the present century. Near Trexlertow, Lehigh county, dwelt a farmer named Weiler. His wife and three daughters tad, by some means or other, incurred he enmity of a witch wlfo lived but a short distance away, when the latter, it is supposed, took her revenge in the following man ner: Whenever visitors came to the Weiler residence the girls, without uny premonition whatever, would suddenl be changed into snakes, and after crawling back and forth along the top ridge of the wainscoting for several minutes, they were restored to their natural form. This curious transfor mation occurred quite frequently and the circumstances soon attained wide spread notoriety. About the end of the third mouth the spell was broken and everything went on as before. Another popular fallacy is the exist ence of the hoop snake. This creature is usually reported as capable of grasp ing the tip of iu tail with its mouth, and like a hoop running swiftly along iu pursuit of an unwelcome intruder. This snake is believed, furthermore, to have, upon its tail a short, poisonous horn, like a cock's spur, and if it should strike any living creature death would result The stories concerning this marvelous snake usually end with the statement that the person pursued barely escapes and that the snake strikes a tree instead, causing it to wither and die. You Can be Well Wlien your blood is pure, rich and nourishing for nerves aud muscles. The blood is the vital fluid, and when it is poor, thin and impure you must either suller from some distressing dis ease or you will easily fall a victim to sudden changes, exposure, or overwork. Keep your blood pure wit'i Hood's Sarsaparilla aud be well. Hood's Pills are the best after-dinner pill; assist dige&tion, euro headache. Uj cents. WHOLE NO. 23G0. Life in Smyrna- There Is no Turkish society in Smyr na, for Turkish women are not suppos ed to exist outside of their own homes, and society without women is like "Hamlet" minus the gentleman of that name. Hut the "Europeans" Armenian, Jewish, Greek, French, and Italian residents, whose families have lived there for generations have a flourishing social life and their one club, the Cercle des Estrangers ( Foreign club), which celebrated its centennial some lifu-cn years ago, gives gorgeous balls during the carnival season. At these balls the most beautiful Par- Is toilets sweep over the polished floors of the ball risim, which is illumined by thousands of candles iu the immense Venetian chandeliers. The card room is another feature of the club which makes the uninitiated American stare. It is sixty by fifty feet and the entire floor is i-owred by a single Smyrna rug, which Is so heavy it took eight camels to bring it to the building. Some of the card rules are queer. Hilliards and cards are free. Certain games are per mitted only at certain times of the year and when poker comes in ecarte goes out Uesique and harmless whLst flour ish the whole year. The poker player is unlimited, with a fixed anter-f five cents, but there is a rule that every U-t must be doubled at a raise, so some times the game assumes serious propor tions, as bluffing is unparalleled in its audacity. The men smoke everywhere except at meals and church and they carry rosaries, not for religious reasons but to play with when talking, so they will not smoke loo much. Men smoke at afternoon calls and through square dances at summer hops though not at ceremonious winter parties. As a rule only the men smoke, for anything like fastness in a woman is frowned upon. In minor matters the women wait upon the men, handing chairs, getting cigarettes, passing coffee, lights and the like. If a man waits for a woman to precede him through a door he is apt to le laughed at as 'Pari-,iati." If the women were lietter educated society conversation would Is? more interest ing. The women never read books or paiers and French is the usual lan guage spoken. Spelling is a science the women know nothing of, but they talk sensibly on practical themes and are excellent housekeepers. After the Cyclone. Lieutenant "Jim" Johnson, of Hut tery A. tells the story of a pathetic in cident of the cyclone that visited this city in May. "We sent out an ambulance from Jefferson Harracks the day after the cyclone," said the lieutenant, "It was placed at the disposal of tine of the charitable organizations and for sever al days was kept busy collecting cloth ing for children. "One day the ambulance was mak ing the rounds in the West End and made its last stop at a residence which bore every evidence of lieing newly occupied. The furniture was not ytt in place and the hall was piled high with trunks aud boxes. A maid an swered the liell and went iu search of her mistress, A lovely, sad-faced woman in black came to the door. " 'We are in search of children's clothing, madam,' said the the collec tor. 'There seems to be dearth of it at the hospital.' "The mistress of the house caught her breath painfully. 'Yes, wait,' she said, and hurried away. The maid came soon, carrying a dainty bed tn which a child of three or four might have rested. They carried the pretty, lace object to the ambulauee aud re turned to find the sal woman in black liearing ia her arms a pile of delicate garments, such as a daintily nurtured child would wear. The sad-faced woman folded the little dresses with tender touch and tears fell slowly upon their whiteness as she smoothed and patted them as she would an infant's head. "Have you any children, madam?' asked the collector. " 'I had until Wednesday, but our only child was killed in the cyclone.' "She rested her head on the pile of little garments and wept heart-brokenly. "Hy degrees she told her stry. The family had lived in the South Side and their home had been destroyed by the fearful storm. The baby's tender body had been crushed by falling stones. The mother was sending baby's clothes, no longer needed, to the moth er whose children had been sparedL St Louis Republic. The "World's Newspapers. A German statistician has recently comp.'ed figures as to the total number of newspapers printed during a year, which h. estimates at 12,iJ00,0UO,n(j( copies. To gatlser a.- adequate ide.t of this enormous quantity, it might be stated that all these papt s spread out would more than cover all 'he continents and islands of the earth. The weight of the paper would amount to 7Sl,240 tons. If this entire edition were ?r Ik? print ed by one single press, the largest and most rapid one now in use, the total edition would take three hundred and thirty-three years to print Stacked up vertically, this quantity would form a column of aiO.OUu feet ii: height Suppiwe that every reader devotes but five minutes per day to the reading of his newspaper, the time used by the total population of the earth would amount to liM.OOJ years. The "New Philanthropy." It's the "new" philanthropy nowa days, as well as the "new" woman, ob serves the New York Sun. When the chairman of one of the philanthropic committees arose to re-ad her report at a recent convention she began by an nouncing that she had but one charita ble achievement to record. "But that one Is something to be proud of," she added, "aud I'm sure you'll all agree with me. A poor woman wanted a di vorce from her huslrand, and our eoru mittee went to work and succeeded in getting it for her." Horseless Carriages to bs Comparatively Cheap. Are the days of the bicycle suprema cy numbered, and the poor horse threatened with extinction? A Brook lyn genius, s:ys the New York Jour nal, ha p Tfe 'ce.! the horseless car riage, in which all the objections to tin ' old "freak" of tli.it name have tren overcome. It is as light as a victoria, noiseless as the bicycle, finl as an e-pre-ss train ami can Is- bandied with ease, he claims. This interesting invention is now in a carriage shop in Brooklyn. After years of patient labor the inventors have turned out a vehicle cheap enough to be made of general u-c, and thereby revolutionize street tratV.e. The carriage looks exactly like any ordinary hore carriage, the e'ectrio storage Iruttery U ing completely hid den. Hy merely turning a handle bar, the cjrri-ie can be turned in any di rection, and the s'seed regulated. The great laulr f the old horseless carriage was the liitbti'.ty in turning, bet in this instance this has Iw-en successfully overcome. Most norseless rarriagi.s are run by petroleum or gasoline. These motive jiowers gave the pa-angers the feeling of being on an engine, and when not noisy there Ls invariably more or less of a disagreeable odor. Hut in the Brook lyn invention electric power will i away with at leasf the odors. Then again a hi'bir rate of sed is attained -the limit Icing ."Smiles :in hour. There is little danger of run ning out of electricity, for by simply attaching a drop wire to : neigiilsiripg telegraph or telephone line tbe storage battery can be recharged ; it would be diflicult to prove that any electricity had been borrowed. Another method of supplying the storage battery is by an ingenious contrivance which re stores electricity to the buttery from the motors whenever the carriage is go ing down hill. An invention iu itself is the combi nation l.K-k on the motor lever. It is an ordinary bx k, so far as working it goes, but when locked it is impossible to move the carriage by electricity. The owner can safely leave the c-arri.ii.-e alone in the street while basking iu the smiles of his lady friends and feel no anxiety about losing it. Oi" all its ad vantages over the old carriage, what will most recommend it to the public is its extreme cheapness. When it is considered that the present prices range from J fCiO to M,imi jvr) Ls remark ably cheap. Tiie mechanism is light, inexpensive and very simple. The wheels are pneumatic tired, and the springs of tiie latest improved inven tion. The carriage will have the easy rolling motion of a palace car. The carriage makers do not intend to confine their manufacturing to sfylHi turnouts, but will use the same patent for tiie propulsion if f.re engines brewery wagons, stages and ottur heavy vehicles. The firm claims their invention to be greatly superior to the one which the Land n Omnibus Com pany has adopted, and by which itf) omnibuses will sum be oie rated. The jsqHilar conception of a horse less carriage is at present the familiar article pu-hed by nurse girls in the park. Many people have heard of the real horseless carriage, but few have seen them. They are iu the same cate gory in the public estimation as the bi cycle was in the early seventies. Hut once fill desiecle s-viety takes it up. toe bicycle will have to step out and the horseless carriage will lie "king," and as opular as the bicycle is at pres ent. Of course, new patents and in creased dman-i will lower the price. Our streets will then present a wonder ful sight. To the clang of the trolley an.l jingle of the bicycle will be added the fire alarm belis and whistles of the horseless carriages. Timid persons will wait hours before venturing to cross a street, and mothers whose ten der brood liave gone to sch'iolwill lj nervous of their being run over. Then perhaps bridges will sp.m such cross ings as Fourteenth street, Twentv- third street and Herald Square. In the days to come, when the au tomobiles shall outnumber all other vehicles and means of passenger and freight traiisjMirtatiou on the streets, thepreseut laws of the r:ad must le radically revised. A r ile of keeping to the right and turning out to the left would be a necessity. Ail streets and Umlevards will be divided into two sharply defined sections, which will ha indicated by aline of ports or a nar row strip of parking. Another thing that may be looked to at this session of the Legislature is the passage of laws regulating the maximum speed at which horseless carriages will be allowed to run, and perhaps the greatest boon to suffering humanity that this popular horseless carriage will afford will be the subjuga tion, humiliation and relegation to the past of that end-of-t he-century freak, the cadaverous scorcher. Rock, Read anl Chara. A Chicago genius has been recently granted a patent on a new and improv ed churn. In the days of our grand fathers and graudmothers the weekly churning necessitated much labor, but now, in this age of progress, it has be come possible to read, rock and chum all at the same lime. After placing the cream to lie churn-d i:i the cluiru- iug apparatus o:k- can attach it bv means of a tu!e and an air-basting ap paratus to a rocking chair, aud the person appointed to churn the butter has only to seat himself mul rock. The oscillatory movcm 'tit of rocking c-vtses a flo-.v of air throaga th ; tuU-s and the entry of the air into the cream results in an agitation that causes the production of butter, the churning op eration therefore becoming both easy and expeditious. It may be observed that the inven tion is capable of use as a washing ma chine, as well as for churning butter. To ellA't this all that is required is to change tiie size and shape of the cream receptacle so that it can be made to contiiii the clothes to lie cleaned, after "hich the receptacle is loaded with tl e clothes and the washing operation is i erforuied by rocking the chair. Something to Snow. It may lie worth nething to know that the very liest medK.'ne for restor ing the tired out nervous system to healthy vigor is Electric Bit'cr.:. Thi medicine Ls purely Vegetable, acts !" giving tone to the nerve centres in tbe stomach, gently stimulate the Liver and Kidneys and aids these organs in throwing olT impurities in the biood. Electric Bitters improves the appetite, aids digestion, and is pronounced by those who have tried it as the very best blood purifier and nt rvc tonic. Try it, Solu for iO cents or jl.UO per bottle at J. N. Snyder's drug store, Somerset, or at Brallier'a drug store, Berlin. in i . if t ' i