i somerset Herald,
5
publication
morning at
f nii-iinadv
Loe, otherwise
? ' ...a. rill
discontinued nntll
pr np-
f ...ft-n !' ,u!:
Swrribers do not
10 " will be held
''
rvpoo.ibl
poctoSoa to
of ibe form-
,t office.
Address
t
CH-EST, P.
1
: Y FI BLJC.
SHiuieroeL, Fa.
1
JYun'a.
.1
-,U.:ed lii":
i'1!.;-nuan,iei,ljr
ill be V-
ALKKK.
a -
Somerset, it-.
.;, Court UoU-
A""v' fourth 1'HLburg, Pa.
I Soiuciel
I'm.
5 r' -
1 VKV M- 1IKKKLEV,
. I ' w.i.i.rwt
Fa.
K'Sv-AI-LAW.
j isomerset, IV
. . r T
' All' i;t-AT-LAW ,
iseuierset.
I'a.
J jsomeraet. Pa.
f HUIL.i;.vi:Y-Ai-LAW,
I somerset, I'a.
-J-
" NtY-AT-LAW,
Somerset, Ta.
J.U.tHiLE.
Al ieu t A T-LAW ,
SMiiK-rx't, I'a.
r-...' : ait.oitiou to busiucM cu
'r 1 ".'.'., . s..i.i. rsetautmujoiiiiiiif
a-'
4
U.' IT1UI House KoW, Ol'pOBllC
At
LNT1NE HAY,
.li.. ' -
imeixt, Ta.
..T-c Klattf. Will a'.tend to
-io i.iiurvitliiTuiupt-
s4
3N
Aliii-vtY-AT-LAW,
siu rs-.'t, Pa.
v :: :M to m!1 buiui tn
!..." -Vl ':ny auvalio J u xilC-
4
I
r- .
a
U. KIMMKU
AiR'Kti-AT-LAW,
snuciM't, Pa.
t'U!i;.-s.- t iitniM-d to bis
Z ai .: li it ..t. idlw uu Jiaiu CnM
i, (...uiu'.i. (iwivrj More.
4:
l m.ii,
Ai i'.'li L V-AT-LA W.
x)iuirft. Pa.
M-!:::::.-:b !'.'.. k. up flairs. En
. wl. !::; uuiimxi. and aii
T.-i j;uai-a to nn i.rouijiuivus
r- -KS. L. C. tVLBORX.
I Ali-'UNtis-Al-LAW,
J stnrrx.'t. Pa.
I -.. :-,tru--:.-J ! our run will be
... . u a:i-n.Kii ti. c'oilto
4 ... "'Ui-rv,'. iMil.utl and aijo;u
m .-. ur.,i.t aud couvevaucuyf
tl BAKU
i Ai luKN EY-AT-LAW,
I !viu-rM-t, I'a.
3 . r in N.'iii. rw-i and adjoining
a .. : uirusi.-a to Itiiu
j.-.i -".;:"
-f -th. w. 11. ui lTEL.
ii. 'TH i IUTIT.L,
I Ai"li'iStAl-LAW,
i oim rtt, Ta.
t !. ;ru-tJ to tii. ir t-ure will be
it f au.".u..y atwnut to. OITioe
O- 1:1 :rw:i,' ii'kmu Mammoth
I'. I Aii'THKILS M. D.,
iaiNliAN am1 Ki.iX'X,
5 . . i-
::vvl, nar K. IL f-uUou.
I r. F. H.KKKIi.
I Soiurix't, I'a.
r" f-i"ii.i; uti-Iiw I" the citi
!:! iK-iuitv. uthoe next
f I .-ku. UoU-i.
J M. I.H'THKIi.
I H. KIMMKLL,
!i v'" a:i ( iuitl al bib of-
I J .M MII.I.l.N.
, ; ttion ttte irvTTtion
T viiU4ln. iitice
- - : 1 ii it.
i k o' fctorc.
! i'iir.oi in.
I t unerul Director.
ra:ri,.t St.
-vIi. HIVK,'
L;t ml S
urvevoi
V:
J. F. lieaebv.
pi Estate and Collecting
1
Agency.
t -y or vll Lnntiirluin
'. ut;;y ,.r ,o-w here, are
r"";iiK!i..ir Murk.
n
a j..' . ; , t. t Mil 11u.il m-
l'r""'" :,J -tion ! rt-
-' "1 '"v" 1 tnii t.. pre-
i "I-.IZU: A iiKAi 11V.
Kr . (.i r H;o. k.
jiii rt, I'a.
:T4:Vr'"- I1!!' uTr IVp.Pt-
J'&ng i Lubricating Oils
i Gasoline,
"r?romrC'rUl'm-
r":U.rj known
roict of Petroleum
usfactory Oils
-IX Tltt-
1 t,:?-i-
BttRrr and
- r c. w. w
1
Hs! Oils!
7
1
VOL. XLIV. XO.
Ivory
It Floats
You have noticed the disagreeable odor of clothes just from
the wash. That's the soap. Cheap soaps do not rinse out.
Ivory Soap rinses feadily, leaving the clothes sweet, clean and
white.
Txt Paocrca aV Ouatif Co., Cti.
-THE -
First National Bank
Somerset, Penn'a.
o
Capital, S50.000.
Surplus, S2O.O00.
OCPOBiTS RECEIVED IN LARGE ANDSMALL
AMOUNTS. PAYABLE ON DEMAND.
ACCOUNTS OF MERCHANTS, FARMERS,
STOCK DEALERS. AND OTHERS SOLICITED
DISCOUNTS DAILY.
BOARD OF DIRECTORS.
LaKI E M. HICKS, GEO. It- StTLLs
JAMES L. PfUH, W. II. MILLKIt,
JOHN It. SCOTT, KOBT. S. SCULL,
FliED . BIESECKEE.
EDWARD SCUI-U : : TRESU'ENT.
VAI-ENTINE HAY", : VICE PRESIDENT.
HAKVEY M. BERKLEY', . CASHIER.
The funds and securities of this bank are se
curely protected In a celebrated t'oKLIss BrK-
glab lR(Kir Safe. The only safe made abso
lutely burtlar-proof.
He Eemercet County national
ANK
OF SOMERSET PA.
Eitab iihw!, 1877. Orfinl"' Nltlo!,1890.
-O.
CAPITAL,
$50,000
SURPLUS AND UN-
DIVIDED PROFITS $lU,OUU.
:
Chas. J. Harrison, - Trcsident.
Wn. II. Koontz, - Vice Prci-idcnt
Milton J. Fritt. . . Ca-hier.
Geo. S. IIarrion, - Ass't Cailiier.
-or.
Directors:
Sam. B. Harrison, YVni. KiiiMf y,
Jiiah SitH-ht, Joiia. M. Ck,
John II. Sny.ler, Ji hn Stuffi.
Jospjib B. Iavis Noah S. Miller,
Harrison Snyder. Jerome KtutH,
t'has. YV. Snytlor.
riKinmm of this bank will receive t he mort
lilieral t rent nirnt e" wiMsleiit wit h Riife Ivtnk ine.
Purtb wis-bitic to send money -a.t or wei-t
can be aocoininodateU by draft for any
amount.
Money and valuables s -cured by one ol lie
UM celebrated aufe, with mol improved
tune lock. , .-,..
"4llectins made In all parts of the L nited
States, t'liarpr moderate.
Account anil dvpokiu. soiR'ttea.
Wild & Anderson,
Iron & Brass Founders,
Enrineen and JUchInit and EnRia
Bollders.
-Manufacturers of-
COAL CAR WHEELS and AXLES.
New and second-hand Machinery,
Shafting. Hangers and I'uli.ys,
Injectors, L.ulricators, til
'uos, Klv.
ERECTING OF HUCMKERY A SPECIALTY
trictly Firt-CI Work Guaranteed.
c-hop on Broad near B.V O. IV jtot
Johnstown. -
Pa.
A. H. HUSTON,
Undertaker and Embalmer.
A GOOD HEARSE,
nd everything pertaining to funerals furn
ished.
SOMERSET -
Pa
HERMAN BAHTLT.
134 ClintOR Stiwt,
OHNSTOWN. - - PA.
DEALER IX
EmldBrs and Other Hardware,
GIdASS, f A'NTS, Olb, VAR
NISHES, ET6.
B
Se Our Larye fJox-k of
Slcichs. Bos Sleds. Sleiqh Bells.
Roses, Horse Blankets, Eto
PRICES to suit the times.
21.
Campbell
& Smith.
THE PEOPLE S STORE,
Fifth Avenue.
It w ill j:iy you (o come t Pittbur
and loyirsiiniiiii at this store. You
know how wo have done business these
past twenty-five years. Many women
who have now Iioiik-s and families of
their own rami' to this store when lit
tle qirls, with their mother to d hoj
Iiiifr. You first knew this store under
the firm name of CatiijiW-ll, William?
son & Diek, then ('amUH & Dick,
now C'A'ttjr.eH & S:nt!i.
Tlie nianaenient, however, has r1
wa !nt?:i tlie sjtine and so have the
methods of doing lui-iness, t.):ie iri-e
to all, srooils markeil in ji!aiu figures;
no misreires'ntatioii if r.ods and sat
isfaction puaranteetl. Buying g.ods
here does not depend uion skill or
knowledge of the good. your ten-year
old girl ein h:iy a well and as eheap
as the most experieiiCAsl sliopjvr; anl
w!ieu we advertise a tiling, we mean
just what we say. While our princi
ple of doing business are the same,
this has been a progressive store. You
t-an get everything you wa:iU
!s it a Bridal Outfit?
Everything of the vt-ry latest and ivst
slvlcs, from the white Slijiors to the
Veil.
Doyou Want an Infant' sOjIfit?
Everythinir from the DiajK-rs to the
Christening Robes.
Is it a Boy, Youth or Husband?
Everything in ready-made-nothing
and underwear.
Is it a Lady or Child?
Everything in ready-made Dresses,
Shoes and Underwear.
Da you want to Furnish your House?
Everything ready f.r you not only
ready made Redding, Table Linen,
Lace Curtains and Carpets, but all
kinds of Furniture and everything in
the way of Granite, Tin and Wooden
Ware for your kitchen; also Oil and
Gas Stoves and Ranges. One entile
fl.w.r filled with China and Earthen
Ware, embracing the useful English as
well as the genuine llaviland French
China.
As our Men's Clothing IK partment
has lievil ojiciicd but a short time, we
will give you a few extraordinary
values.
Men's Black Cheviot Overcoats, 5.00
Men's Dark Cheviot and iHtrk.
I'nion Sack Suits - - - 5 CO
Youths' Blue and Black, Ihirk
Gray and Mixed, single and
double Breasted Suits - - - ?5 00
Boys' Ihtrk Gray Scotch Tweed
Suits, $3.50
Between Wood and Smithf.eld St's.
Jacob D. Swank,
Watchmaker and Jeweler,
Next Door West of Lutheran Church,
Somerset, - Pa.
I Am Now
prepared to supply the public
with Cleks Watches, and Jew
elry of all descriptions, as Cheap
a the Cheait.
REPAIRING A
SPECIALTY.
All rk guaranUvd. Look at my
stock U-fore making your
purcha.is.
J. D. SWANK.
ARTISTIC JOB PRINTING
A SPECIALTY.
UAKHV M. BEXSUOFF,
MAHUFACTURIHG STATIONER
BLANK BOOK MAKER
HAXKAM HbOCK,
5ap
Johnstown,
Pa.
onier
SOMERSET, PA.,
FARMER BBOWN AND JUSTICE.
(lood farni' T Itrown in years lon pist
Hi lot lx'siile a Klrram h:'.d rivt.
And much good cash h.ij he laid down
Hy selling eiiic ken in the town.
I'rime, )!uiuaud tender were they all
And brought him prices never sin ill.
Hut. ad to tell, there nv:tinies came
Vll fluo.ls th-it w.-il dcs?rert thi njme
Ttey earriol off Mill many a coop.
A ud thus curtailed his chicken oup.
Kor i.i i ny ye:ir he bore ihU well,
fntll t lust worse luck tiefel;
rVi wild and high the waters r.tn
He found himself a chielcli-s lain.
Ar.ry lit this wait Brown Indeed
And Kotiglit a lawyer with all sp"ed.
I w ant to sue the Slate," said lc.
Then diineel th' lawyer'n -ye with "lee.
And writing down the farmer' name.
He raid -Well Kir, let'a hrtir yourclalm."
With bumins ehn-ks the former told
His losses from the water cold.
Concluding, with an angrj' hmw,
Justice is what I'm after now."
5iistiiv!" the lawyer ssild In seoni,
She died, my friend, ere you w ere lKrn.
Yi.ii say the water too yourchlelis;
Well, rivers often lay those tricks."
-Iltit come," continued Fanner Ilrown,
While dit-iKT trew hi wrathful frown.
"You must. I say. a way provide
That I liny he in l.'innldei.
-ioinelxHiy, now, I'm bound to sue.
To (jet ;ic:;in w hat Is uiy due."
The lawyer Miiil.-d, ami said, "Oh, well,
l'ut up a Bfly and I'd tell
How you this irou'ole may elude
And circumvent those waters rude.
The cooJ man paid the flfty down.
l"or fair and iuar was l amier Hrown.
Then naid the lawyer with a smile,
"My ruie Ients jiislii-e hy a mile,"
And, with a wink that rivnl.il Fuck's,
He sof.ly said, "My friend, raise dueks."'
vuYA'j ('ii"a.
THE STRIKE iS THE CHOIR.
1!Y P.ollKIIT J. lU itliKTTK.
When I was a boy, away back in the
years when the days were so short that
it took fourteen or fifteen of them to
make a week, I aitended divine ser
vices with my parents in an old Bap
tist church in Peoria. My legs were
short and the pew was high, and while
I listened to the sermon and nwung
my feet, shueklcd by the unwonted and
cruel shoon of the Sablutth Day, I often
wondered how many hundred years it
would le ore I eoald reach the fl xir
with my feet as my father did. There
were two foot-stools in the pew, but it
was eonsidereu wicked for a Uy to put
his feet on one of them. They were
made exclusively for row't up people
whodM not need th-m. They were
als used to trap the unwary stranger
who earn;? sliding softly and sideways
into the ew without an invitation.
He fell over one and kicked the other.
That notified the worshipers in the
front pews that there was a stranger
within our gates and they could turn
around and look at him. But for this
automatic- system of signaling, many a
devout woman would have gone home
without knowing the particular kind
of clothing the stranger wore.
Straight across the rear of the church
high above the congregation, ran a
long gallery. Here was the nu lodeon,
which was the pipe-organ of our day ;
here sat the choir, literally and m-.L-i-eilly
"out of sight." I remember we
hal an odd custom, originating in
some idea so old that nolody could re
mcmU r it, and the rest of us never
knew it. When the congregation rose
to sing the closing hymn, it alr.ut
faced and looked at the choir. Then
at the end of the hymn we faced about
oiiee more and received the ln-nedic-tion.
I auppose this was done to give
the congregation opportunity to soe
who was in the choir and what they
had on, and also to enable the singers
to complete their inventory of the con
gregational adornments. It mu-t have
been tantalizing to look at the backs of
heads all through the services and
guess at the fav trimming of every
new iKinnet in the house. Because in
those days you had to walk all the
way around a bonnet to take in the en
tire pattern. Your mother, dear, did
not wear a postage stamp with two
horns on it, and call it a b.ujuet. Men
talk ab ut the big hats you wear in the
ojera house. I wish your critic might
have stood behind your grandmother
at a baptism out in Peoria lck in the
fifth's. He couldn't have seen the lake
nor very much of the wo vis on the op-p-site
shore. He might have ccJght a
glinip-s of the sky if the day was fine
and your grandmother stol still. But
when she rose on her tip t t- reaeh
"E" in "Coronation," he cnld see
her Unmet, that was all. And that
enough. In that day a bonnet wa
built to cover the wearer's head.
And neck. And a section of the should
ers And to overshadow the face. And a
flower-garden in full blo un blaz-jd and
aone an 1 clustered around, above aud
beneath it. None of your buds and
gfas-es in tho-e d tys
Aud our eU'ir ! Well, n ', there
was a choir that could sing ! When
they felt In good voice, which was
every tim-? they sto d up, you couldn't
hear the melodeon. They read music
at sight s a proje-reader reads print.
And they sang in a way that made
everybJy else sing. Everybody would
sing anyhow, therefore it was useless
for the leader nob ly called him the
chorister then to st-lect new tunes an 1
spring them up ;i theau lieucsu 1 l.-ti-ly.
The congregation wjjIJ join in
with all confidence just the i:ne, on
the second word, aud sing right along,
only a syllable or two U hind. If the
hymn was of the usual length,
they sang f.rj'i the third stan
ratheykuew the tune as well as the
choir did, and carried tho remaining
four "or five sUiizas through witlj
splendid apiriL You see we weren't
given to short services in those day
There was no reason why we should
be. The singing was never wearisome,
lecause we did it ourselves, an 1 would
as aooti have thought of hiring our
Sunday School teachers as our singers. I
never but once lieard our minister chop
a hymn up into cutlets and have us
omit the riml and last stanzas and hop
over the third and fifth, singing It as
though we were playing a game of
musical hopscotch, and that was be
cause Im objected to some faulty doc
trine In one of Ibe verses. When he
preac!ed he aaid what he hail to say
without the leant regard for the clock.
As he always had something to say
which we either wanted or needed
to hear, or both, it never occurred to
the conjrrevatjou that there wa a great,
ESTV33LISIIED 1827.
AVEDXESDAY, NOVEMBER G, 1895.
round-faced clock on the front of the
gallery softly ticking its subdued
"aniens" all through the service. Our
preacher has been down E tst a great
many years teaching preachers how to
preach, so we may get back to the life
size sermons and whole hymusagaiii.
Well, that choir u:i.-. so praised and
lauded, and deservedly so, that at last
it exalted its horn "like the horn of an
unlearn" and decide! to take entire
charge of the musical portion of the
service. The leader, a young man with
sublimj confidence, a splendid voice,
long curling hair tucked uuder at the
ends a w'tLs the fashion with 3'oung
men of that day, like the Jack of spad-s
if you know what that is, and a wealth
of bear's grease, flavored with Urgamot
came to the preacher and said : "Mr.
Seekpeace, I must have the hymns for
Sunday service on Friday morning
hereafter. I have changed rehearsal
from Saturday to Friday evening."
"But I can't let you have tli: ni Fri
day morning," the preacher said, "be
cause I do not always know at that
time what I will preach alwut on Sun
day following. You may have them
Saturday morning as usual."
But the leader would not have it that
way, and he said so. The preacher
was a man not given to controversy in
small nutters He said what he had
to say cm the subject in a few words
selected from the English language,
principally monosyllables, and went his
way as also did the leader, their ways Iv
giniiiiig at the same point and running
respectively c:tt by east and due west.
The preacher sent the leader the num
ler.i of the hymns on the morning of
the Saturday following.
Sunday morning dawned. The con
gregation, iminfully arrayed in still'
and starched and rustling garments
sacred to the day and the place, assem
bled with customary decorum. One
by one the deacons walked up the aWes
to their places, timiug their steps with
mournful squeaks that decieiied the
solemnity of the hour and awakened
mirth only in the breasts of the young
er children, who wer promptly
thunqicd to resjiectful silence by the
catapult of some adult finger. The
hymn hooks in the tcws rustled open.
We listened for the Usual little muttied
commotion of the choir getting into
positions with its little fussines of
small affectations, but there was a
most rearsome silence. We turned our
heads, looked up, and saw a gallery as
empty fis the Foreign Mission treasury
at the close of the year. The presence
of the singers scattered here and there
auiong the congregation was explained.
Some light-hearted meuila-rs of the
choir tittered, but the Test of us were a
little bit frightened. Tiie preacher
btoked up ipiickiy and understood. He
quietly closed the hynin-Uk, opened
the Bible, read the Scripture, offered
prayer, gave out the notices for the
week, preached his sermon and pro
nounced the benediction. Calm and
unruffled and undisturbed was he, as
though that had been the order of ser
vice for a hundred years The even
ing service was conducted in like man
ner. No hymns were given out, no
rcf-reuee was made to the subject. He
was so quiet and natural that we W-gan
to wonder if that hadn't liecn the way
we always worshiped, and had only
dreamed that we used to have a choir
and sang hymns of praise.
Of course that wouldn't do. The
deacons came together, investigated
the trouble and proirered their services
as arbitrators. The leader was firm,
the preacher wa adamant. Finally
the latter said : "I'll tell you what I'll
do. I will give the choir the hymns J ttqv jjejit is BewarJed in the Ejjp
for the next six mouths, an.l the leader j tiaa Armj.
may have rehearsal any time that nest
suits him."
Tiie deacons carried the proposition
to the choir; it was accepted ; the gal
lery and the pulpit were reconciled ;
the preacher was meekly submissive,
the leader was radiantly triumphant.
Rut U-ing disposed to lie graci ius and
magnanimous, he gave the preacher
two or three days to get over the fir-t
sharp humiliation and pang of defeat,
then called on him for the hymns. The
preacher sat down and write a Ion a
column of numbers, U'ginning at land
running in regular progression 2, I,
j, fi, T, etc., up to 11.
"There," he said, with the air of a
defeated man, "sin.- them as they
come."
The leader liowed as he took the list
with the kindly condescension of a big
hearted conqueror, and retired.
The Sunday morning after the treaty
of peace was made the church inciting
house was crowded. In his pew, far
up in front of all others, sat Deacon
RoU-rt Standfast. He was a pr-isper-ous
cattle-man, a very Jacob, and had
been out on the prairies with his flock-t
aud herds when all this trouble occur
red. He loved his pastor with all the
tenderness of a big man. Deacon
Standfast fairly blazed with indigna
tion when he heard how his pastor had
been tri-ated. Ife declared that it should
never happcii so again. 1 le reached
t;n late Saturday night uu j had
heard only about the war. He knew
nothing of the declaration of peace, or
rather, knew nothing of the armistice
of six mouths.
Si, when the first hymn was given
out, the choir made that pause of a lit
tle minute fluttering its wings and
smoothing its plumage U'fore it broke
into song. The silence smote upon
the heart of Deaon Standfast, still
rankling with a sense of the indignity
put ujion his beloved pastor. He arose
to his feet, drew up his muscular fig
ure until he loomed up like Saul among
his brethren "from his shoulders and
upward higher than any of the peo
ple" filled his lung's, aud in a mighty
voice that had echoed over the surging
backs of many a horned herd ou the
storm-swept prairies, a resounding
shout of far-reaching cadences that was
qualified to paralyze- a stampeded steer
into forget fulness of the terror that was
driving him to frenzy, he "raised the
tune." Alas for the service of the
sanctuary, out of the strength came
forth no sweetness for Deacon Stand
fast could not distinguish a funeral
dirge from a college yell. And he roar
ed off the first verse of that hymn by
himself. But he was enough. He
needed no reenforeenienL With open
mouths that choir stood in its silent
place waiting for hinj to reac'4 tlje end
T
of the stanza, intending to waylay him
aud head him olf on the second. Vain
hope. They did not know his !-'-
of endurance. He drew but oiwfion
deep breath at the end of the cloning
line, and went right on with the next
verse, developing cumulative power
with the exhilaration of his work, un
til he wound up the long hymn with'a
long drawn halloo that sounded like a
cross between a war-whoop and a halle
lujah. One by one the silent choir sat
down as that tuneless hynm progress
ed, but the congregation, although not
venturing to "as.i-t," sUxxl by most
nobly while Deacon Standfast lustily
sang his first and last solo in that
church. I believe he never sang again ;
not even in chorus
After that break, however, all went
fairly well for several weeks, may bin
month. Then the congregation stood
up at eight o'clock one Sunday night
and sang,
1 luce more, my soul, the rising day
Kilutes thy wakini; eyes."
And once the morning service opened
with the hymn,
"Lord, dismiss us with thy blt-siinit,"
But as not more than one singer in a
hundred, perhaps, sings a hymn with
any thought of its meaning, simply
considering the words as rather useless
necessities, merely put in to vocalize
the music, the incongruity of the se
lections did not strike more than three
or four people beside the prc.scher, and
they were not present, But the Sun
day morning following that, the lead
er came to the preacher U-fore service,
with a troubled facj and said :
"Look here, Mr. Scckncaee, this will
never do at all."
"Well, what is the mutter now?"
"Why," said the leader, "this open
ing hymn. It is:
"lirothcr, thou wat mild an I lovely,
ientle as the summer breeze ;
I'iasaut a. the air of evening
When it floats ai;io:i,- tie- trees "
Now, there has been but one death in
this church in the past six weeks, and
that was old iKidd Swearingcr, who
got so mad yesterday while he was
U-ating his horse with a pick handle
that he fell down in a fit and died in
two minutes a man with the wort
temper in the State of Illinois We
can't sing that, Mr. Scckvace."
The preacher melted at the sight of
the leader's apjiealing face. He smiled
a pleasant smile that might have had
two shades of meaning in it. He may
have been pk-a-s-d to m-rvt a ni in who
recognized the fa-t that a hymn with
out appropriate words is aWit as virile
and strong as a human b uly without a
skeleton. Or he may have leen pleas
ed about something else. Anyhow, he
smiled without permitting a gleam of
triumph to shine across his face. He
said, "Very well," and selected hymns
for morning and evening service.
There was never again the shadow
of trouble between the choir and the
j.-jlp t in thai church. Other leaders
catr" and wmt. The choir changed,
a,- choirs do; changing voices drive
out the Uiys who satig soprano or alto
soprano we used to call it "iribble,"
didn't we? Marriage closed the mouths
of the girls who womanlike, appeared
t. c insider it a solemn, religious duty
to "forget their music" and "never
touch the piano" after the first baby
was Uirn. Bassos and tenors e.cne
and went. But so long as that preach
er was pastor the choir in that church
sang the hymns appointed tiu-m, aud
it was generally understood, although
nothing was ever said aUut it, that the
hea l of that church was oil its should
ers, and uot on the neck of a music
rack stand. Lk IUh' llt.nc J-tufivt'.
Army.
IvL-v-ini Pallia, when Minister of War
for Egypt, wa-i very particular with re
gard to the personal appearance of his
o:Mvrs, and issueil stringent orders
that they should never appear un
shaved in public. One day he met in
the street a lieutenant who had "beard
ed" the Pasha and disregarded his or
der. "To what regiment dyou lielong?"
demanded the indignant Minister.
"To the R-ginc-nt of Abassjeh,"
responded the frightened lieutenant.
"Get into my carriage at once, so
that I can curry you to the encamp
ment, and have you publicly punish
ed," was the stern command which
foiloweL
The young man o'.ieyed, and the
twain rode along gloomily enough for
some time, when the Pa-ha stopped his
carriage and entered a shop for a few
moments, to ni'ike some trilling pur
chase. Seizing the opportunity, the
culprit sprang from the vehicle, darted
into a neighboring barber's stall, and
minus his beard regained his p -t lie
fore the return of his gaoler. For the.
remainder of the route the oilievr buri
ed his face in his hands and seemed the
picture of apprehension. Abassiien
was reaches I at last, and all the officers
were assembled to witness the degrada
tion of their comrade, who al! the while
kept well in the rear of the chief.
"Come forward, you son ;fad ig!"
cried the irate Pasha, when there stejs
!ed before him an officer with a faw a
clean as a b iby's, and a look of the
most supreme innocence. His excel
lency gave one look of blank ast uii-.li-ment,
and then, with an appreciative
smile breaking over his war-worn fe.it
ures, turned to the assembled oliiitrs
and said
"Ht-re, gentlemen, your old Minister
is a fool, aud your young lieutenant is
a captain !'
Carrie's Blunder.
Little Carrie ha 1 bee n instructed to
learn a Scripture verse with the worl
2os4 in jt. AccorJingly her parents
taught her. "It is lawful to 1 go-! ou
the S;ibliath day."
Tiie little ni-iid repeated her text
many times softly to herself before the
lieginniug of the general exercise, in
which all the Sunday school class s
were to join. Then, when her turn
came, she sent a ripple over the audi
ence by reciting, in clear but lisping
accents:
"It is awful to I good on the Sab
bath day." r'r C'jiiijHuiiuiu
A cough is a danger signal of wor-e
troubles to come. Cure the cough and
prevent its results by using Dr. Wood's
Norway Pine Syrup.
era
A Bachelor' Lament-
There Is one class of individuals whom
I despise utterly and irretrievably. For
thirty years I have U-en making up
my mind to say why I hate rny cham
bermaid, and the following are some of
my reasons :
She sends my fresh pajamas to the
laundry and leaves my clean linen on
a chair for a week, where the dust set
til's on it.
She hangi my dress coat by the mid
dle of its back on a sharp hook, and
folds my trousers Just outside the new
cn-ase the tailor has just put in.
She takes all my matches for the
other boarder'-i rooms.
She jams my trunk up against the
wall, no matter how often I pull it out
so that the lid will stay opL-n she yanks
it up to the wall again.
She carefully chcrWies for me all
the old patent medicine circulars and
old duns, which I have growii bald
trying to get rid of, and lights the fire
with my important business letters
She throws away the only extra col
lar button I have, and religiously pre
serves the broken lead cap to a rusty
trousers button.
She hides my tobacco. Every day
she finds a new place to conceal it.
She places my shoes a- far under the
Ued as she ran. She does this to make
me grovel on the floor and swear.
She places the pillows at the opposite
end of the led from the gas light. If
site cannot get the light in an incon
venient jMh-itioii she moves the lied.
If the thermometer is thirty degrees
U-low she selects that day to polish the
grate and air the bedding. When the
wciither is mild as may, she has a cozy
hard coal fire roaring in the fireplace
when I get home.
She u.si-s my bay rum and, I au.-nt't,
my tooth bru-h ; she Uirrows my note
paper and takes my novels U-fore I
have finished reading them.
She puts the ojh'H part of the blank
ets at the foot of the lied, and I have to
slivp on the cold sheets; she accepts all
my spare change, aud a gr-at deal I
can't spare, and she makes my fuir
young life a burden to me too great to
le borne. That is why I speitk.
Not a Target.
In a New England courtroom one
afternoon an energetic counsel was set
ting forth in no measured terms his
opinion (if certain testimony which
had Uecn given by one of the witnesses.
As he talked he gesticuh-d freely and
was particularly lavish in the use of the
forefinirer of his right hand, which as
sumed a decidedly threatming asjioct
as he progressed in his spts'h.
S ulileiily a tall, lank countryman,
who was directly in a line with this
warning forefinger, rose from his seat
among tiie jjrymen.
" I jest tell you w'iat 'tis" said he.
" I ain't done nothing I'm ashamed of.
I ain't done nothing no way of no
kind, so fur's I know, and I ain't a-go-in
to sit here and U- abu-ed. Ef you
say another word, I'll jest light out for
home.
" My dear sir,' stammered the coun
sel, " my remarks were not intended
f.r any nu mU r of the jury. They re
ferred entirely to the witness."
" Well, then, you jest quit a-p'intill"
your linger at me when you're talkin'
like that," said the lank juryman,
without appearing to lie much m iili:i
ed by this statement, "If you doit
agin, I'll brak up his ere court, or my
name ain't Joshua Bowk:T."
And with a determined mien and
fire in bis eye Joshua Bowktr at la-t
su'tsided, and t!if counsel continued
his hur:;iiguc without further inurrup
tion. )'.''.V I'oiiij-iiiintt.
Maik Twain'i YelL
M irk Twain, who recently started
ou a tour around the world, told an in
terviewer at Wiiiiiijieg how he often
felt a desire to "cut loose" from civili
zation and to get away by hims-lf
where he ould r and yell to his
heart's content? In this connect iu
t!i -re is a story abut the humori-t and
Canon King-ley. Walking along the
street one day, Mark felt the impulse
to yell coming on him with irrtsistible
force, and said to Kingsley, "I want to
veil, I ni.i-t yell." The cation siid,
"All right, yell away ; I d n't mind."
"And with that," siid M irk, "I steii
ped back a few steps and, throwing
my arms abve heads, let out a war
who ip that could Is heard for mile-,
and in time than yo.i c mid e Hint,
Cauou Kinglesy and myself wer sur
roun le-1 by a multitude of anxious citi
zens who wanted to know what was
the nutter. 'I told them nothiiig was
the matter. I just wanted to yell, and
had veiled.
An Im-)3rtatit Q-53tion-
A short tiui.'ago a large fact-iry, fit
ted with th.' most mvlern ap!iances
including theelectri? light, c.i lglit tire
and despite the lit -t ntreu i n eff irts
of the fire hrig.i'le was I:nist demol
ished. The following morning a newly ap
pointed uiemU-r of the force was dis
patched to the spot, with a view of as
certaining how the lire originated.
After closely interrogating the mana
ger of the factory he asked to see the
man who was resp jnsible for the elec
tric light-
Tne 111 magcr state 1 that tha electric
switches were under his sole control.
Then you are the man that lights up
the electric aflair?
That is so.
Now, lie careful how you answer my
next question, 'cos if it ain't satisfacto
ry it will be took as evidence against
ye. When you lighted the electric
light last night, where did you throw
the match?
Messrs C. F. Moore & Co., New U rg,
Ore., say: "We sell more of Chamlier
lain's Cough Beniedy than all others
put together, and it always gives satis
faction." Mr. J. F. Allen, Fox, Ore.,
says: "I believe ChamU-rlain's Cough
Remedy to lie the U"st I have handled."
Mr. W. IL Hitchcock, Columbus,
Wash, says: "Chamberlain's Cough
Remedy sells well and is highly prais
ed by all who use iL" For sale by
Benford's Pharmacy.
AVHOLE NO. 2310.
LISCOLN A3 A LAWYEB.
When Right. He'll Baat You ; When
Wrons, You Mast be Careful "
"Abraham Lincoln," said Senator
Yoorhees recently, "was known to me
long before he ever cini . to the White
House, or I dreamed of Congn-ss I
remember him when I was a young
man as a tali, angular figure, with a
shaggy shock of dark hair, who u-nsj
to ride the circuit as a lawyer, and
who.? business oeeisio.ially brought
him as far as my biiliwick in Indiana.
Even in mi early day Lincoln had con
siderable fane; as a successful trial law-j-er.
I le told stories as effectively then
as he did in after years, when, as a
President, his stories were Uiund to lie
a success. He was a singularly gKid
talker to juries, and had that convinc
ing gift whi'-ii few men p is-s of talk
ing with his uu lieiice rather than to it.
Most s;H'ak-rs talk "to" an audicm-e.
Lincoln talked "with" his, and that
with his homely rhetorie, through
which ran an eternal current of s-nti-ment,
was the real secret of his victor
ies. "Few lawyers caret 1 to meet Lincoln
on even terms Even when he hud a
weak rase he was dangerous. Ilough.s
once said of him: 'When Lincoln is
right you can't U.it him, when he is
wrong you must lie d d careful or
he'll U.'t you. This makes a strong
man of Line ibi.' Iiougl.ts was right,
and the history of his later collisions
with I.iii'-olii on the stump, and final
great contest with him at the ballot
Uix, might go a long way toward prov
ing it.
"Lincoln wa- a man of tremendous
physical strength. He had long g-r-iilalil'
amis, and was as p i,ver!il as
an ogre. It was the c m:n ;il practice
of 1. 1 a vers in t'l-u d iv to put in the
noon hour in wrestling, leaping and
running. Lincoln was unquestionably
the cliuiniiioti wrestler of his time and
circuit. No one ever sueced d i:i
getting him on his back. With Lin-'
coin's strength aud facility for physi
cal exercises, it should !e no wonder
that he was a famous rail-splitter."
Ensw Thyselfl
How hiq-irtaut t'uis injunction to
every yoimg l ian! H-iw many ruin
their health arid future happiness
through H-ni;c;o,;s praetics contr.ict
tsl in ignorance and rep; nted of when
to late. Parents, guardians and
humanitarians rjn do no U-tter service
to tiie rising generation, than to place
in their hands tiie information and
warnings cmta'iitsl in a little lok
carefully prep ire 1 by r.n assoei iti-iii of
medical ge::i'e::i-n, who have htid
va-t e.vp-rit ii-.-e ::i d"aling witii the
grave ma'adies here hlute-1 at, and
who fis-1 tiiat t'ley owe it to hu-iiaoity
to warn the young of tiie land against
ci'ta! i il--tr i'-iive ha'i;its which are
far nii-r-' prevalent t!;a:i any layman
e in i-.si!,!y imagine, and which, if
p -rsi-ted in, gradually u:i b-rmine the
c institution and he.tl.h, an-l d.s-;ry
the future happiness of the victim. Cut
out tliis n tiee ami t nelosf it with ten
cei:ts In stamps i to pay p e-tage to
World's D.-pe:isary Medic il A-s.cia-tiuu.
(:.;; Main Street, Buffalo, N. Y.,
an 1 the b mk will i- si-nt, secure from
ob-crva'.ion in a plain staltd envelojie.
AGjoiDeei.
Itiss.iilth.it "one piund of gold
iiisv be drawn into a wire that would
extend amuiid the glob
So one g s!
deed may lie felt through all time, ai:d
cast its influence in eternity. A deed
that the humblest t 'hristian, even a lit
tle child, can perform, may set a wave
of i;i:V..-i;oe in motion that will g ca
reening through ti:u , touching many
lands, an 1 sweeping over the boundary
line of earth, p iur the wealth of its ac
cumulations into the real eternal.
You need n it jierform any great
achievement such as w ill h-i'.d t!ie world
in mot astonis'im -at: on; little act, a
word fitly sj,..k.-n or even the glanee of
a loving eye, m iv r ill m my slieave-
i:
into the earner of trie Lir.l, and swell
the anthems of immortality.
Tiie thing is to tl i the little thing at
the right time, in the right spirit, and
w ith the grip of faith upon theonruilie
arm. You uu-t have the eye t- dis
cern the opportunity and the hau l U
stretched f i".h to oU-y the ca'.L If Jil
can ii' it be a o iu:il of e- ,, drawn into
a wire to :;r Jiu the globe, what there
U of you let it lie pure g'ld, contribut
ing to the g'ory of Christ's kingdom.
''.-' 1 ,-i S'n in f tiff.
One Form of Introduction.
The teacher 1 fan intermediate grade
in one of th larg T public schiads was
"showing o;r ' br pupils before a iiuui
Ur of isi tors. The se lling class was
on the 11-r, and 0:1c small shock
headed I my was given the word "in
troduction." He jausrd, twisted bis
lips, and then in a fa'terir-g way spelled
it correctly, and emrl rat'ier surpris
ed that he had tloiu-lt.
"D you know what the word
mearis?" a-kt-d the teacher.
"No" in."
"What! you don't know what in
troduction means?"
"No' m."
"Well, now, I'll explain it to you.
Iioes your mother ever have callers?'
Yes'm."
"Well, now, suppose that two la
dies t-,ine to tail ou your mother. Your
mother knows one of the ladies, lait
iKicsn't know the other. She lias
never seen the other lady and d'Vsn't
even know Lt-r name. Now, Imw
w'ould she liecome acpuaintel with
this lady and find out her name?"
"She'd send me out for a can o'
liter."
As that was the correct answer the
teacher had imthitig further to say.
R.-ad frti:n the trv.i-ured volume
The poein of thy elsilee.
And W nd ti the rhyme .if poetry
The bmiily of thy voice.
Which you can not do if you suffer
with a CtHigh or Cold. Bid yourself
of the discomfort by buying a Imttle of
Pan-Tina, hebest remedy for Hoarse
ness a nl Inllueti'.a.
Pan-Tina c sts i"i cents at O. W.
Benfonl's drug store.
Good Advice.
If you have made up yonr mind to
live in a tow n then stand up for it.
S ty all the giod things you can aUmt
it, and if you know positively no good,
then silence in regard to its merit Is
considered golden. I)o what you can
to h-lp along every man who is engag
e Tin business IXci't send away for
. t i thing ni yv o. ;mt a: I ill
pi I lie- bone- lo. II I l.is-i a 'tort, to
suit the w him of one or two jio-r-il.le
customers The siicissis of yiKir fellow
l-vk iisineii u ill U- your snci c-M. .N.
man livi 111 to himself, no man lielh !
himself, and no Inati does husiness in
depcll.lcllt of his fellow business mall.
Take your home jKipcr. lon't imagine
that big dailies till iqi all the space.
The re are many little crevices of
g ksI clitcr, social sun-bine, persoiiul
mention, in a home p::pcr that the
big dailies do not en re for and do not
print. Ifcui't abuse your tieighlior.
Tiie main dilferenis; in the number of
his faults and yours is that you see
through a magnifying glass as a critic.
Tout ill-omened bird, the croaker, can
do a town more harm in a minute than
two good citizens can repair in a
month.
"1 .i - e me a nial wit it Mil a tin.
Wliatever that uim luuv l-,
Wbetber It's s.-4;ih. or whether it's fonif.
It matters not to me."
Half the aimless lives are due to
lassitude of Unly cau-cd by disordered
liver. To keep your liver in order and
so prevent evil accumulations in your
blood, to make you ft-l light and right
and bright from morning till night, to
make your lcep swe-t, and k-s-p your
sylclii complete tak Dr. Pierce's
Pleasant Pellets. They cure foiistiiM
tioll, ilidigi sti-ill, biiiou-lless, sick
headache and kindred disturbances.
Dictienary of Discontent.
Sc-icine, dtir Lady Itetty, has di
minishitl hope, knowbslge has de
strove" I our iilu-ions, and experiene'.;
has deprived us of interest. II -re,
then, is the authorize I dictionary of
ili-e- in tent :
What is creation? A failure.
What is life .' A bore.
What is man ? A fraud.
What is woman? B it! a fraud and
a Ijore.
What is U-auty ? A deception.
What is love '.' A disease.
What Ls marriage".' A mistake.
W h at is a w i fe '.' A t ri.i 1.
What is a child? A nuisance.
Wh:tt is the devil ? A fable.
What is good? Hypocrisy.
Wlia! is evil ? Detection.
What is wisdom? StLishuess.
What is frie-i lship? Humbug.
W'hat is gent-riisity ? Imbecility.
WSiat is money? Everything.
Wiiat is everything? Nothing.
Were we perhaps not htippier w licit
we Were monkevs?
Ba:ihn's Arnisa Salve.
Tiie Rcsf Salve in tfi- world for Cuts.
Bruise-, Sores, l b- rs. Silt Rheum,
FeVtr. Sores. Tetter, Chapp I Hands,
Chilblains, Corns and all Skin Enq
t! irw, an I p -itive!y c l.-e; Piles, or n
pay required. It is g i.c-aiit-e-l to give
p.rfect satisfaction or iii i:iey refun-K-d.
Pri'-e cents p -r b ix. For sale at
J. N. S.iyd-.-r's drug st-ire, Sonicr-et,
Pa., or at B.'ailier's drug store Berlin,
Pa.
Graiiii of Gail-
When b ve has the u.wer it wiil a!
wsys lit Ip.
Wc enjoy iinit ii w hen we are thai k
f.:l f..r little.
When you lindyo-irs-If g -ttiog dow n
liearttd Io-k up.
S.-lf-p i.svsi.i.u is another name for
s. -5 f-1". rget f u I n ess.
All that 1- humia m i-! ret r-.grade if
it dH-s not advaniv.
A wrmg principle isas wr:ig in js.l
iries a- it is in religion.
Tiie ld thing abcit little sins Ls that
th.-y won't stay little.
A mean man t-i-.i g l religion, Uit he
can't stay nr-uri an 1 keep it.
Wfiivver irnpr i.ts his (pp ctuoities
will slum U- imp.itveil by them.
Never step o. r o:.- 1 :y to perform
allot ht r. Take them as they cmie.
In Tzt S::ati5j Worll.
We are toid that paper slov.si and p 1
Ier stockings ar- the latest ilt jiarture.
They are not, it is alleged, thin, r-.tttn
things, eilht-r, like some wtl, cotton
or silk, but quite tough. Pap r tw ine,
which ha.- long been known, is rougii
cl by m lehiriery s ai to sis-ni fuzzy,
like wool, and it is then knitted
shajs-ju-t as if it were yarn. As u r
stocking- will lie retailclatal-Hit thrie
cents a pair, it wiil c no more t
buy new orees than t-i h.ve the obi oiiesi
wa.iieL
The Pittsburg ee'-.'i dcscri.;si
llivington's lit-w "el..r iTgaii." This
iictruiiieiit is designed to put into pne
tbf certain elements in the undulatory
theory of light which pnunise that tht
rates ef vibration pMtlui-iug ditft-reiit
colors vary in the same ratio as the in
tervals in vibrations producing musical
ntes. E.u-h key i:i t1!.; k -ylp re
sjmuds t-i the color a'isWt riiig to the
piano note of that key. The descrip
tion of tl.i- effects pn-luvd Ls most
f;lst iiiui ilig. Wliile some of Cbopiu -
preludes were U-ing played tle color
scree n was "il-md. d with siiis.ssiv
rytbmic-.il waves of harnooious eolcr,
freim simple to c implex, growing scar
let, gold d-.t jit-ning to oralis', e-xquisitt-lutlf
tone- in mauve, grays, I mwii- ami
turquoise blue." The new id--a Ls t
combine in the same iustr im -nt the
relaiions U twet n i'ne -s-trjiii amttl.c
octave aud to le:n castrate graphically
that each harmony in s..iii. L- acts ni
pani.sl by its appropriate harmony in
light,
S ire Throat. Any ordinary rase
may U' cue 1 in one night by aj ply
ing ChauibTl.iin's Pain Balm as
directed w ith each bottle. TiiLs metl
icine Is a5s famous f.ir its cures of
rheumatism, lame back and deep
seated and muscular jKiins Ftir ale
tv Benford's Pharmaev.
If you let the sun g d wn upon y ur
w rata it m iv stay there until the judg
ment lov.
In clothes clean an 1 fresh t'.K-re is a
kind of youth with which age shou'il
surrojii 1 itself
ArL-tocratic young Englishn:u tr
taking jolis aj -'.tble lnys in vari t
parts if Kentucky and t! West, Their
object Ls to learn American niethols of
brs;sl!iig fast horses and to -,-eure some
fivers f.ir tlie Fjiglish turf.
1 '.ostites interests that e.nrliet with
Irooe- Interests are snakes that lit 4
better be killesl dea 1 Otl the s;mt-
'3
-
I:
k
t
3
t
hi
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I
onej-rV, Pa.