ML
!
pj
I
'ihe Somerset Herald.
KSTArll.lSHr.D 'r-'T-
! rpcrnis of Publication.
every WMm-alajr morning at
,, , ,.r '"' if J ,vm' "'"""'
". -..iliioariaUy hecuaixcd.
'"s , .n'-errr-i"" will '"' discontinued until
rri i.,,!,,, an- uaid up. P,i1ma.-ler n-
' ' t. li.rtify u !in ul-crilirs do u..t
" ' " J, Jh,.ir pur a ill ! held tv.p.rmil..e
ri re"vinjr fr""1 "n0 l-wtol"'- to
!, r i,...M tfive u tin- name of the nu
. , H - t In' present ""i.e. Address
lF l 7BE SlKt li" HUALB,
So KKSKT, P.
a I ti. -
. n i V
C. V- WALKER.
IF
ATT -UNF.V-AT I.A W.
i.lid nTK I'l ni.li.,
K 'K'l, Pa.
..ni. opt-iu 'rt House.
.i I II.
l-i. rn'i.KNKVATI.AW
i .a
. ITtt r .Kirtt. St.. Pittsburg, Pa.
! Y A" ,!KISkvw.
U Somerset Pa.
I u.v. rV.-r
n" KTY M. HEHKI.EY,
Somef-sel, Pa.
o:!i i in KiM Ni.ti.Mml Bank-
A r- ,l "."knky-at-law;
... . IM tfT
rvmiersel. Pa.
U,;;. rJu l-a.
v-......rsi-l
-i.i-ii W. HIESECKEIt,
l?Ul Al l' 'UN tV-AI-UW,
Siiirtt- 1-(,-,
in rrinung H-u- llw. "CI-''-
H.U-'-
IL - ' ' aTp 'itN KV-AT-UV,
rSo.iMiMt,
Sonwrm't, 114.
u ii KtHiNTZ.
J. G. iniLE.
(H AriVU-NKYS-AT-LAW,
SOHH-IV.H, Pa.
t..,.fi.,n i l,usiiiei en-
. , M.ViLwr "-.'r.".ii ...... -t :' IJ"'i"S
p.u,,m.. ..it..-. laPni.t li..u..i,"i
,,,, r..urt ll-'ii"--
irii KNTINK HAY,
A l t A n kn ky'at-i.a w,
SH.iiiers.-t, Pa.
lil.-r In Pfl Kstote. Will attend to
all Hi-Ill.-"- elitru-i.-u
JOHN' H. I HU
ATTi.ltNKY-AT-LAW.
StMllflX't.
tn,. .Vl !m. M- V "''T'.T' J'"
" . ...4....... i .iiutitli UltK-k.
J,H ). KIMMKU
Ari..KNK-ATL,AV.
SH,inerH, Pa.
Vtll :.ll. l..l K.all -. ei.tni-t.-d lo hi.
. : s r-H an. I a.lJ.Hlillie rtii.ti.
;;n,.t.aieC..ltnHll .rocerj .-i.v-
TAMF I.. PICH.
J ATT. "ltN hV-AT-IAtt ,
Somerset, Pa.
. 1.. l w.,1. ttl.M-lf 1111 stiilr. Kn-
tran.v M:.ill n s!re.-t. t ..ll.vt ..lis
, lillesex:.llllll.-.l.!.nl all
ii.i'u alfiid-il to Willi .r..iii.ni.KS
an.l ii.l. -iuy.
A J. O.l.ltoKN. I- t'. Oil.H.KN.
j ATi.iKNKYs-AT-l.AW ,
riiiien't. Pa.
t. .iiir eiire will be
A U liusines rui i ,. .....
lin.iniitlv .-.n.l tutlitully utteiid.il t... l.ill.-.-
iKMIr- IILJ.a' 111 Wlliwwi. -
ins tsiuiiti.. ir"fyiiijp uid txHiVfyam-iug
TI I.. l'.Al'.H.
11. Ail- iKN KY-AT-I.A W,
SMjim-rset, la.
Wiil pri.-tir-e ill Sniii.-rs.-t and a.ljiiininif
e-iunii.-s. Ail i.iiui.-sseutrusti-d l. iiuu will
r.-.vie riuipt aiieiiii.'ii.
A H. oiKHtiiTH. W. II. Kl PPKL.
-10FFI50TH A P.UPPKI.,
V- An'iKNKVS-AT-HW,
Suui.-rs.-t. Pa.
Ail busin.i-seiitmste.1 t their eare will be
S.-.lil and iun.1ually atleliiim i". .'"-
ii Main Cum stni-t. l.He.lte Mallllliotll
ll.m'k.
T W. AI5tlTHKI5S, M. I.,
J . PHYSICIAN" AMiSfltl.WiS,
s.iiiers.-t, Ph
iSiiVivii PutriiK S:ri t, near K. It- Station.
call at oiutx-.
1 I5. P. F. SIIAFFF.il,
1J PHYSICIAN" ami sCP.iiKi'N',
s,mers, l'a.
T.-n.l. is liis urof.-ssioiuil s.-r M-es to the eiti-
B.-ii- ,t s,nii,'rs-t
dr u 4 otiiiiM-p-aii liK4.
11L J. M. LOlTHFJi,
1J PHYSICIAN ASUsriUJS.
Ciiti v.in Main sim-t. naruf I iruj; store.
1)
U. H. S. KIMMKLL,
Todr iisMffsslonal -r icie?i t the vti-
C't -u Maui m., haut i lUuiiKriid.
DIL J. S.MrMILLKN,
iiRfluati' in lh-nitstry.)
liivt-s j.i;it utt-ntiin to lUe irvrvatiou
of t im- iut i u ru I tx-t h. AnilWiai ! iiiwrl!.
AH t.i!iiiii. Euuruutwi citil:ttr'. tni"
m tin- rHiis owr I. H. Ihivi k miiv.
rtirut r Main i.'n uiid Talriol stnvt.
Oils! Oils!
o
Ii;e x l;t nt i.- It -fir.inf '... Pittshiint l.-u:irl-
n4. iu. l'ill-,tHiri;. u.t m;iki-s a sa--Mliy in
lu.,mii:i"ttir!i! Iiir ltie ISjiiiotie
.rail,- tin tin, M bniuds ul
llumirnting L Lubricating Oils
Naphtha and Gasoline,
Til?, cm o lr iuu.de fnm IMnn:n. We cliai-
lMrVtMtiiti)criMtu itU-vry kiMwn
Product of Petroleum
If y.Hi wiU the uwsit uiilf.inuly
Satisfactory Oils
IX THF.
American Tarket,
At jt .uis. Trade t,tr S.,mer.-t and vu-inl-
t" suiiphed by
OKiK HKKKITS and
KKKAsK A KiKisKlt,
SoiiM-rset, Pa-
ARTISTIC JOB PRINTING
A SPECIALTY.
HlUItY M. BESS1I0FF,
HANUFACTUR1HG STATIONER
AN li
BL1SK BOOK MAKEB.
1UX.VAM 11 LOCK.
Johnstown. Pa.
A. H. HUSTON.
Undertaker and Embalmer.
A GOOD HEARSE
d ever thing pertaining la funerals furn-
lsl-U.
Somerset, Pa.
MM I
h p.
VOL. XLin. XO.
THE-
First National Ut
Somerset, Penn'a.
o
Capital, S50.000.
Surplus, SI 6,000.
DEPOSIT RECCIVCD IN LARGC AND SMALL
AMOUNTS, PAYABLE ON OEM AND
ACCOUNTS OF MERCHANTS, FARMEAS.
STOCK DEALERS. AND OTHERS SOLICITED
- DISCOUNTS DAILY.
HOARD OK DIUKCTOKS.
i.aui k m. hicks, k. wru.
JAMKS I- Plt.ll, W. II. M1U.KR,
JOHN K. NtnTT. KuHT. S. M l l.L,
l-UKl) V. IllKsKCKKK.
KPwWP.ri S('n.l, : : PKKSIKKNT.
VAl.KNTINK HAY, : VICK l'P.KrtfUKST.
HAKVKY M. P.KKKI.KY, : CAMUll-.lt-
Ttw ftin.la and securities of tlii lnk aiv se
curely nrt-tl In a celebrated Coklim livu
gi.ak Pbkik Safk. Tlie mily ssifc made alwo
luteiy burglar-pnt.
Tte Somerset County National
BANK
OF SOMERSET, PA.
EitablHSwd. 1877. OrrtnUsd at i HitlsMl, 1890.
CAPITAL,
$50,000
Chas. J, Harrison, Pres't.
Wm. H. Koontz, Vice Pres't.
Milton J. Pritts, Cashier.
Directors:
SAM l Kl. SXYKKIt,
M M. KNliSl.KY.
J.iN AS XI. 0ik,
JOHN STI FFT,
NuAH s. M1I.I.KII,
Jl-.ltuMKSTrJ-fX
JiislAH SPK-l HT.
J.iHX 11. SNYI'KK,
J.rsKPIl It. 1AV1S.
HAKKIsiiN NYlil"K
SAM. 15. HAKItlSiiN.
Customer f tliislwnf will r.ive the most
llliertl tmitllielltiistenl wlttlsale.BiiiM'.t.
ISnnn wisliine t mw iii..ne '
ran lie aiMiiui."iaun "t j
aiii.init. , . , ,ii
.Mi.ii.-v mid vsluiibU- mn '"V
U.l.l's .'i-l.-tmil.-d K.h, Willi nul iiiii.ru.-a
.'-.Tii'-i.i'.nQ i.l.- in all irts.f llie l ulled
Stales. CtiarjT". moderate.
A.xiaiuts ami a. vssns win.-n.-u.
nUEITY TITLE HI HIST U
121 & lil Fourth Aw.,
PITTSBURGH, PA. .
Capital - -
Undivided Profits 1250,000. ,
A.-ts as Exc'Ut.r, Cuar.liaii, A-iv'ii-e
an.l H'-.x-ivcr.
Wills rwvivtil for and lu-M fm t
charre.
IJusiin-sw of rcsi.h ntHaii.l intii-rcsi.h nts
ar.fully uIu-ihUhI to.
JOHN" IV. JACKSON, - President.
JAMKS J. DONNKI.I V. Pr.-si.Uiit.
FIIAXKI.IN liHOWX, - Sv rvtary.
JAS. ('. THAPLIX, - Trcasun r.
J0RDAN & H,NCHMAN
i'.s-, iHv n iih nur ni'W and Uinrv tit
viMf KIm t"oiifftiiinr ds pimmr
i i i. i--.1. I'ukKfe. FrtlK'V sJiKih
of all s:vl.-,and i ven lliln else pertaining
to a tirst-elass house I., rl 11 oni.-rs promptly.
and to supply resident fcimill. t '
U-nl. i.ssls always fn-sli, ami aiaajs ou.-r-
1 al lowit fUB. Call and sn-oneor iih
lliii-sl assorliiMiitsevercarrt.-d.
JORDAU I mCHIffl.
"TO 272 Main Str.vt,
Johnstown, Pa.
A Quick Rilhf ron svert Type or
Hcaoachc
Four Cardinal Points Bespectino
Headache.
f rrrr tx?et thit aM
i , Headaches are evm-
verf hcadarhe is a
p.aer til lae era.
lal aer.es for bfst.
tiallT nrmnn. KiMuicf-
lC Ibe nervct you ,lip
tUc hcadadic.
Sombe ibea s itk Hm t-
ALlMa.
SHoold tout headache ! i hea ck.ldrea ruffcr
ma. ck. pe- I " "h headache, nc
jk'w aerwMis. hck, v- i --' -nodV.
dyspeplK. o be j any oae else
tor ihjl
.up-. Hf knrfaljsa.
ety.exreArsof any kind
Ihe besl remedy cer ol-
or braia veanacss, lase
lered Sl'. :ure. my-
Kurt ALIKE.
dcrtully UKk la actio.
KorfAun cores mr, type c headache, ecpec
tally tnat otressins'y e- " ' J 1- I
L..1U-, susTrnim ttvm irrulinty or uterine irn
tnoa. or wtKM dulic ojuire Uel to stand tjt
ionfi periods.
KOPFAUNE cures
M.avowa SMOCt, a.ayow. 0.atrrr,
Mnoul HI.MC-L rmvrMt
US..U woa.y. o,asrr is,."ta,
runuTK,. ciaeova.o.
.irnrimTSr m.. ucsaaa. aa
aUaveaU and coauiUous here acrr waste foes oa.
KOPFALINE
Is iis-aluibie lor Teachers. Scholars. Preachers.
... j .1 j VI.-m Waaiea
Huorno, tivi.."... '
Children Ererybody whose aenres are
t all htely or ret ou. 01 w".
It M absolutely sal- -r all circusastanors and
coadiooBs. Price, is cents.
Sold by drsccists geo-r'"y. or seat to a.y ad
dress oa receipt 04 pnee-
WINKELUANN s BROWN DRUG CO
JALTIarOBE, Mas. t it. .
DO
G.
TUT,
OOD'S
Karututrilla rsarsfnllv
il prepared by experienced
I 1 i pliarmac-isU from Sarsa-
I I I parilla, DaiiJ.-lloil, Mut-
drake, Duck.Pipsissewa,
uniir Berrira, and otht-r well kuuwD
vegvtable remedies. The Combination, Pro
portion and Process are Peculiar to Hood's
fcarsaparilla, giving it strength an J curative
power Peculiar to Its-lf, notpos
es?d by other medicines. Hood's
arsaparilla
Cures tcrofula. Salt Itheum, Sores, Boils,
Pimples and all other affections caused by
Impure blood; Dysjiepsia, I!iIioum-js, Sick
Headache, Indige-tion, iKbility, Catarrii,
ILheumatism, Kidney and IJver Coin-
laints. It is Not What
we Say, but what Hood's
Saraparilla Does, that
Tells the Story Hood's
Sarsa parilla
URES
Hood's Pills Are gentle, mud suul cflecUTft
LADIES'
SHIRT
WAISTS.
The warm sia-11 will siivfrext this
iiniifiiitalilc ami innrv than t-vcr
Miiuhtr ftannciit. We have all
kiinls in the
Star Make,
The W-st nia.U', with Puff PlaiUil
and .HIF.I.l) FHOXTS, turn
(lnwii aii,l staii.ling tnll:irs, in ma
terials such as
KRCAI.F-S
MADRAS,
ZKPHYlt AXI)
OXFOK1) CLOTH.
All siw-s, 32 up to 42.
Pniini't Mll.-litl.ni will be given to
Mail Orders.
H0RNE & WARD,
41 FIFTH AVENUE.
CASH BARGAINS.
WILL BE SOLD - - - -
New. Fresh Sulla of Mens' Roys' and
Childreiis" CioOmit;, very low "rice.
MUST BE SOLD - - - -
v.sn.w.r mhi k ,f nothini: oflTi-rine nn1
su-lhii ttt rii tliat rtn ly nli"
OT. B. HQI-JOERBAUM'S
CLOTHING AND GRNERAL STORE,
Somerset - - a
Jacob D. Swank,
Watchmaker and Jeweler,
Next Door West of Lutheran Church,
Somerset, - Pa.
I Am Now
jm-iarel to supply the puhlic
with Clocks, Watches, anil Jew
elry of all ilescriptioiis, as Cheap
as the Cheaiiest.
REPAIBIXG A
SPECIALTY.
All work puaranteetL InK.k at my
sl.M-k la-fore making your
purchases.
J. D. SWANK.
TE aRT AMATEUR.
Best and Largest Practical Art
Magazine.
(The only Art Parindical awarded a Medal at the
World's Fair.)
ri( tujtu to alt a-JW i-k to m"tr thtir .'riss trl
m I mulkr Utu h.im a.as .yw
orsss.
10
rUn IUC. wewillsetMltoanyooe
nieuiuiuint- this publiesUua a uperi .
men copy. with, superb color plates
. Cr mm tie o-framlnr and. supple
meotary pae. of design, (reaular price
i-try. vr
rnn r)r we will send also "Painting
rjn Jls ljr Beginoejrs) f.M prgea).
MONTAGUE MARKS, 23 Union Square,
New York.
YOU CAN FIND iSU
a. tit in Pttts. ..h at lb. Adwnisiar Baiaaaol
our author.
REiaiTGTONEROS,
ha will aaavnu l- aosviaia as luwwrf raua
n
f I Best, Easiest to rsc. and rbeapest. I I
USokl by Drri- oraeos T I I
lus. B. T. HstrlllnA Warrca. Pa. U
SOMERSET, PA., WEDNESDAY,
X OPTICAL ILLUSIOX.
lUHIKRT IIITCIICK W(K.HWAUI).
As sweet as love find spoken.
Ami talr a the lllly's isr,
Hhe stands In I lie window l.siklntf out
When the day Is ut lis close.
She's half eoncouU-d In the curtain,
And I. in the Iwllltlit haze.
An t wal. htnK the sun's last anlcndor die
And lint lierclns-k with lis rays.
Her eyes, like a limpid currant,
K 'ttects while ptist me st.-nl
Tit? cnliu of a Ir'art Innri.Hl to pain.
Or the p."nec of a pr.imisi..d weal.
I f.im-y Ik r Un like no li-avrs,
Kn.h curlisl at the wake of day.
When the dew coiiie out fnin the sweet
lawu traits
To honey them with Its spray.
Iter throat's ad.iai.sl hy a iicrkuice,
Sue must he ilnssil fur the lull.
And, Usi, liercoiirure i isiwdenst white.
And o'er her shruld.-r'H a sliawl.
The sun lius sunk In its setting
That elrele whleh bands the skies
And stilly dmp the curtains of night
Till utr vision numbs my eyes.
Hut still she dttk-s not see iik
Iiit.il ni my evening star.
Like a Venus there In the new iih sin Ik'ht,
She Is-auis so uunraiid yet so far.
Winn lo, Hh- nsmi Is li;)it.-.l.
And the eandelahni's gleam
K-veals a staLie" of Venus there
"All lliin-.'s are not wlut they ss iii."
I SMELL SMOKE.
Mr. SnotMlle is au inveterate smoker,
and has a most rejirehensible hahit of
snioking in lied, hut Mrs. fsnissllc,
though she allows him to smoke any
where elsi-, very properly for'niiis him
to imlulfro in such a ilantrerous practice-
However, as Mrs, SiKHKlleis a remark
ably souiiil sleeper, Mr. SniKxlle fre-
liietitly manafres to enjoy a fewst.ilen
whills.
One night when in latl Mr. SniaHlIe
had an irresistible desire for a pil',
wiiieh lie in vain endeavored to itnn
Utt. His wife Mas fast asleep, so he
autiously stretched out his hand for
his pijie, which lay tin a table by the
i.il-side. Then with equal caution he
fill.nl it, lighted up and was puffing
away with intense relish when Mrs.
Sniaxlle turned over and gave two or
three snorts.
"I U lieve she's going to wake up,"
thought Mr. Snoodle, and hastily took
lis pipe from his mouth and placed it
ou the table.
Mrs. Snoudle gavea few more snorts
and woke up. Then she gave a series
of sniffs, and Mr. Snoodle trembled, for
the niii was pn-giiant with toliaeeo
smoke.
"John are you smoking?" asked his
wife, sternlv.
'Certainly not, my dear. Whatever
makes you think so?' he innocently
"ui;uiri-d.
"Ht-ause Tcansnidl t.b.He-o,"
ulied. "Phew, how i.triiig it
she
Is!
Don't you smell it John?"
Can't say I do, Martha. I've got a
lit of a cold."
Opi-n your eyes, man, and then you
will," snapped Mrs. Snoodle.
'I don't smell with my eyes," gig
gled Mr. SiKKslle.
"What I mean is wake up properly
and sniff hariL Now, can't you smell
it?"
'Well er I think there is a faint
odor of tobacco," admitted the culprit.
"Think faint odor ! Why, the plat
recks with it! I tell you what it is,
John, there's somelwaly smoking in the
house," declared his wife.
'1 you think Jane indulges in a
pipe ou the fcly?" suggested Mr. Snoo
dle. "Xonsense !"
"Well, my dear, the only other liv
ing thing in the home is the eat, and I
never heard of eats smoking."
"Don't talk rubbish, John. It's a
H.-rious matter, its inv uriii neiiei
tliere's a Imrglar smoking in the house,
and Mrs. Snoodle shivered.
'Ah, very likely," replied Mr. Snoo
dle, thankful for his lucky eseaie and
prejuiring to go to sleep again.
"John, are you going to sleep and let
the house la; runsacked ?" askel his
wife indignantly.
"Certainly not, my d. ar.
"Then why don't you go down stairs
and catch the burglar?"
Mr. Sai mh He very reluctantly got out
of lied, sleeiily lighted a candle, and
lil.-ivcd toward the door.
"Aren't you going to take some weap
on of defense?" asked his wife. "!.
you want to Ik1 killed? I never saw
such a man !"
Mr. Snoodle rather sulkily seized the
Kiker and muttered that if he found a
burglar he'd make it smoking hot for
hint.
He had gotten half way down stairs
and was thinking of anything but burg
lars when he suddenly saw a man dart
out of the dining-naim and bolt down
the k iteheii stairs.
Mr. Snoodle's first impulse was in
stant flight, for he was an arrant cow
ard, hut lie was so astounded and i-tri-
fieil with fear that he was utterly una
ble to cither move or siK-ak.
He simply stood still, holding the
candle ncarlv upside down, with his
mouth wide ojh-ii.
Then he heard the lsaek door Iwng
an.l knew that the liurglar was gone,
so he thouirht it was aUtut time for ac
tion and to earn a little cheap glory.
So he roared out : "You villiatts !
I'll murder you! I'll scalp you as
clean as a whistle V and rushed down
stairs. He had never U-fore felt so
heroic in his life. He bound into the
dining-naim and fought fiercely with
the furniture, especially the fender, as
he could Imng into that without injur
ing it much, until he w as quite exhaust
ed.
"John, John, come up stair ;" cream
ed Mrs. Sniaxlle.
killed?"
'You will surely l
"It's all right,
back Mr. Snoodle.
"Have you got
Martlia?" shouted
the
rascal safely
bound?"
"No. thev got away. Hut I've near
ly killed them !"
"Thank Imren! Come up stairs
and let me dress your wouiuls, dear,"
said Mrs. Snoodle solicitously.
Mr. Snoodle, after securing thelia -k
dHr, which the servant had omitted
to lock, and undoing the bundle of
plate, that the burglar had k it behin 1
ESTABLISHED 1827.
in his hurry to escape, went up stairs.
"Oh, John," exclaimed Mrs. Sams
die, on la-holding him, "then you're
not dead?"
"No, dear," he said, mopping his
brow. "Hut it was a terrible right."
"I'm sure it was. I never heard such
an aw ful row. Did they take any
thing?" "Only their hook," grinned Mr.
SnotMlle. "I was just in time to pre
vent them carrying off the lest part of
our plate. It was all tied up ready.
That idiot of a Jane forgot to lock the
backdoor. I will give it to her in the
morning!"
"The careless girl ! How many burg
lars were there, John?"
"Two. One great fellow over six
feet, and another bigger, if anything,
but I caught one a crack on the head
that I must have pretty well smashed
it, and I'm sure I've broken the other
one's leg."
"Then I wonder he could run away;"
remarked his wife.
"He doesn't rail with his anus,"
Martha."
"No, hut you said you'd broken his
leg, John."
"Oh, I meant arm."
"I suppose the place is covered with
blots!?" iuerried Mrs. Snn-dle.
"No, they took that away with them
I mean they ran away so ijuickly
that I don't think it had time to drop."
"I'm glad of that. I hope you haven't
got any internal injuries, John?" ask
ed Mrs. Snoodle anxiously.
"Well, dear," he laughed, " I have
a strange empty feeling ala.ut my stom
ache, but I dare say a little whisky and
water will put that all right."
"John," exclaimed his wife, gazing
at him admiringly, "I never felt so
proud of you as I do at this monietiL
Fancy you tackling two great burglars
and putting them to flight without get
ting a scratch yourself! I always
thought you were rather a coward.
Forgive me, darling, for having though
so, for now I know you are the bravest
of the brave !"
"I don't know alaiut that, Martha,
but I think I have my share of cour
age," said Mr. Snoodle, modestly.
"You're a is-rfect. hero!" exclaimed.
Mrs. SiMawile enthusiastically. "Would
you not like a pije, dearest? You have
not had a smoke since supa-r time,
and I'm sure you deserve one after your
terrible exertions. As you know, John,
I never object to your smoking any
where except in lied. That I will not
allow."
(fuite right, Martha. There's no
telling what such a practice might lead
to," remarked Mr. SiicnmIIc, thought
fully lighting his pipe.
"Fancy, John," said Mrs. Snoodle,
"fancy me smelling those burglars
smoking ! What impudence they have
got! However, if I hadn't snielled
the smoke, we shouldn't have discov-
red the burglars. So we may say our
proja-rty was saved by a pij', may we
not?"
"We may indeed, Martha," replied
Mr. SnotMlle, aud he meant it. Ao.i
Tit bit.
A Hitch All 'Rouni
The gander-legged young man in a
sky-blue necktie came hurriedly into
the Soiiire's office and laid a legal
liMtuiielit la-fore that lotclltate.
"Is that jiaja-r negotiable in this
market ?" he inquired anxiously.
The Soiiire looked itvcr it long enough
to determine in his own mind that it
was a marriage liiviise.
'I siipKMc it Is," replied the Squire,
"lsit it cannot ! validated, so to sia-ak,
unless the party of the second part is
present."
"You- mean the gal?" asked the
negotiator, more nervous than ln-fore.
"I do."
"She's all right ; she's outside in the
wairou holdin' the h.isses."
"You don't expect me to go out there
to iH-rfurni the ceremony, do you?
asked the Squire haughtily.
"Have you got the power to fix the
business?" inquired the young man,
apparently of the bvlief that the Squire
had to call in the police or a preacher
or some it her functionary.
"Certainly ; I've got all the parapher
nalia right here, handy ; all I need is
tin- girl."
"And the whole calMMxlle would it t
amount to shucks without her, would
it?" asked the youth, with a smile as
happy a it was sheepish.
"Hardly."
"Shake, old man," exclaimed the
liomeo, extending his hand. "Slutke
once for hick. I'll go right out and
hitch the horses, aud fetch in the gal
and you can hutch us. Here's fiJty
cents to show you I mean business,"
and he hustled out to hitch the horses
preparatory to the other hitching.
Jh troif Fite IW.
Wise Words.
The birds do not sing by note.
With Cupid salary is no object.
Swearing at a horse never stops his
balking.
He who sows wild oats Ls not apt ttt
reap tame ones.
We are always better ourselves by for
getting ourselves.
MeliMly is the soul of music, as har
mony in its Usdy.
Much U-nding break the bow ;mut-h
uulsfiidiugtlie luiniL
Cynicism is one of the shadows which
experience casts.
The man who "itches for fame" It
usually kept scratching.
Riches exclude only one inconven
ience, and that is poverty.
If thou desirest to be wise, be so wise
a i to hold thy tongue.
Every generation of man is a laU.rcr
for that which succeeds it
What a flower enjoys it gives to the
world in color and iierfume.
He who is firm and resolute in will
moulds the world to himself.
It Ls generally "all up" with a man
when he liegins to go down hilL
Speak but little and well if you would
lie esteemed a man of merit
Do you read that awful trash tliat
comes out on the second page of the
Il'ttr'cr every day?
Well, I should say not; I write it
JULY 25, 1894.
The Tartlet Were Fijhteri
"In 140," said Deacon Seth Gregg,
of old SteiiU-n, "I was crossing one of
my father's fields tin my way to the
Cohocton for a day's fishing for there
were trout in those days. Hill Spiccr
was with with me, and we came upon
a couple of land turtles that were hav
ing the ugliest kind of a scrap. I don't
know what started the fight U-tween
the turtles, but from what I know now
it must have lavn something serious.
The turtles bit and tumble.! and claw
ed each other for a spell, and then Hill
and I separated them ami put them a
long distance ajiart. They turned as
siam as they were down and came tow
ard each either again as fast as they
could, which was at the rate of alasit a
mile an hour, but there was fire in hoth
their eyes and when they got together
they pitched in again as fierce as ever.
We hadn't time to stay there and
watch them, and so we went on and
left them fighting. When we came
back that way, late in the aftern.Min,
there were those two turtles yet, fight
ing as ugly as ever, and neither xle of
them seemed to have the liestofit.
Then we broke up the fight. I tik
one of the turtles home with me and
Hill t.M.k the other one home with him.
I cut my name on the bottom of my
turtle's shell, w ith the date, aud Hill
cut his name and the date the same
way tut his turtle.
"My folks were getting ready aUsit
then to move out to Illinois, 'and Hill's
were going lck somewhere in Massa
chusetts, where they came from. When
we went away I t.aik my turtle with
me, just for the fun of the thing, and
Hill tisik his along to Massachusetts.
We settled out in Sangamon county,
and Peter that was my turtle's name
didn't seem to like it out there. Any
way, he disappeared la-fore we had
liecu there a week, and I cimldii't find
him, high or low. We lived in Illi
nois twenty years, and then, the old
folks having died, I moved Imck to old
Steulieu, laiught the farm we moved
off of in 140, and have lived there ever
since. Of course I forgot all alanit
Peter, the turtle, fifty years ago or more.
"One day last week I was going over
my farm, and not more than three rials
from where Hill Spiccr and I surprised
the turtles at their scrapping match
fifty-four years ago last spring, I came
on to two turtles having it out with one
another in exactly the same way. It
brought Intck the old days like a flash,
and I lay down in the grass and watch
is! the turtles fight for a quarter of an
hour. Then 1 not up and took one of
them by the tail and turned him over
on his back. His under shell was cut
and carved like a la-ech tree in a coun
try schiail-hou.se yard. I went on de
ciphering tla carvings, when the first
one I liaiked at nearly made me drop
in my tracks. And giaal reason. There
it was plain as day : "Seth Gregg,
1S40 !" The very turtle I had caught
more than half a century ago, and
which had gt away from me three
mouths later, 'way out in Illinois !
"As soon as I could get over iny sur
prise and wonder I licgau scanning the
other inscriptions tin the turtle. They
dated all the way from 14 down to
ls;2, and the names of places carved
now anil then showed in chronological
order that old Peter w as steadily and
unswervingly traveling East.
"All the time I was examining IVter
the tit her turtle st.aal ou guard, glaring
at Peter, and evidently impatient to re
sume the tight So I put Peter down
and picked up the other one. I kliow
you will UTicve me when I say that my
first sight at the under shell of this tur
tle actually sent me to the grass. It
had carvings, too, and the very first
one was V. Spi.vr, ls40.' And there
were carvings on Hill's turtle showing
that he had liceu as unswervingly head
ed West during the iat fifty-four years,
as my turtle had liecn jMiinteil East.
Had these turtles Ixvn governed by
some mysterious instinct that drew
them Imck to the old home for love of
it, or had they Ikvii nursing undying
animosity toward each other for half a
century and traveled liack with the
hois? of wreaking vengeance each on
his foe? From the way they glared at
each other and waited for a new chance
to get even, I maik- up iny mind that
the turtles had journeyed all those years
toward the old home simply with the
intention of having that fight out, and
an I trot un and left them by them
selves. Two days afterward I went
that wav again. The turtles lay in a
ditch. Peter had his jaws fat on Hill's
turtle's throat and Hill's had Peter
foul in the tender stmt under the left
shoulder. Hrth were dead. I liuricd
them rigid w here they lay, and it sad
dened me to know that any living
thing could carry hate so long and so
far."
Care of Shoes.
It is a very giaal plan to give shia-s a
treatment with linseed or castor oil.
once in a week or two, applying a unal-
erate quantity and rubbing it thomugh-
tv into the irraiu of the leather. The
alison.tiiin of the oil will Ik? aided
the shoe Ls warmed a trifle during the
earution, but care should lie taken not
to subject the leather to to-i great heat.
Vaseline forms a verv lf'al substitute
when neither of the oils named at hand.
On the same principle, some persons
teat their foot-wear w ith an application
of milk once a week or so and find it
benefited by the oily matter, which
later might have found its way tososiie-
laMly's I si Iter plate.
Sot if His Wife Knew It
"The cook is going to leave us,
I'm
afraid," ietid the wife.
"That's too Irad," said the husliand.
"It Is indeed," rejoined the wife;
"what can we do to induce her to stay
with as?"
The husUuid mused a moment or
two then, as a bright idea struck him,
he said :
"I'll tell you what I'll do ; I'll make
love to her."
An hour later the cook w as out of the
house, bag and Imggage.
He That gas man is a binL
Hue Why do you use such slang?
He isn't a bird, for he has no w ings nor
feathers.
He No, but he lias a biW,
XT 1 T
Herald
How Watches San.
"Every man in his own magnet" is
the proMisitioii recently evolved by a
Washington jeweler of many year's ex
jierience. P. F. Schmitt has a shop in
Eleventh street, near the avenue, an.l
there, in a little old-fashioned brick
house, one of the architectural relies of
the city, he runs a hospital for disabled
timepiects of all sorts, with the wants
of his institution full most of the time.
Here, through the experience of many
years, lie lias discovered a mystic ImhhI
la-twixt the watch and its owner that
few have susja.fteL
"It is all dependent on the animal
magnetism of the owner, whether or
not his watch will run fust or slow,"
said the jeweler when explaining his
theory to the iostmaii. The same
watch will run at different sjattls when
carried by different ja-rsons and no
IH-rsou is likely to put a watch on and
have it keep satisfactory time without
returning once or twice to the jeweler
to have the regulator touched to get the
system of it keyed up to the same pitch
as that of its owner.
"Now, I used to have a friend w ho
had an excellent Swiss watch, w hile I
had one of another make. Hy mutual
consent at one time we exchanged
watches, and, th.High they had gone
all right lie fore, they then changed
their gait entirely, mine running five
miutitesahead in a couple of days and
his running five minutes ls-liiiid.
There was ten minutes difference in
our temperaments. Hut that is noth
ing compared to the difference ln-twcvn
some people. Sometimes a watch that
will run well on one man w ilt imt go
with another, and there are some !.
pie who cannot get a watch that will
run ou them at all.
"I remeiiila-r a giaal many years ago
I had a man come to my place with an
old-fash iotie. I English lever silver
watch to lie repaired. I had some very
nice gold watches in st.a-k at the time,
and as he liaiked well off I tried to sell
him one, hut he laughed and said if
any of the gold watches I had in the
store would mn twenty-four hours in
his pocket he would give me twice
what I asked fur it. He said he had
tried all sorts of gold watches and had
never Ui'il able t get one that would
run while he had it. He had exM-ri-inelited
with his brother's watch only
a little while before, he said, and it
cost him .-l.-r)0 to have it demagnetized
after he had carried it in his Ma-kct
two days. M.ist silver watches acted
the same way with him, but the old
English watch he was carrying had a
louble inside ease to it and worked
fairlv well.
"I've never liecn able to tell whether
the average watch will run faster when
it is in its owner's possession or not.
There seems to be no rule on the s'.ils-
ject, but I can never regulate a watch
on my swiugUianl there and then give
it to a customer and have it kit-p go.-!
time. 1 hen there is a variation witu a
haiige in vitality. A watch will or
dinarily run slower the longer it is car
ried after cleaning, Uvause the oil
tlries and the la-arings are harder, but
I liave had customers come to in,; and
say tliat their watches had started up
am! gone to gaining tini.' several
months after they had Ikvii cleaned. I
just tell them tliat I can't a; c uiit for
it except on the theory of a change in
their own vitality or temperament.
It's one of those tilings tliat cannot lie
explained, but it is true nevertheless!"
5o Joking- With an Indian.
'It is dangenms to joke with an
Indian," said Henry 1. Purvis of
aula Fe, who was at Hurst's yestcr-
iLuv. "Hissciiseof humor is so dull
that he is apt to think himself insiilt.il
when he Ls merely W-ing made the Witt
of a joke. Several years ago I came
very near getting into a serious difficul
ty for trying to have a little fun at the
expense of a certain chief. At that
time I was clerk at thesupply store of
the reservation in Southern Colorado.
Life was very dull out there and one
day, when a chief, accompanied by
alrout twenty warriors tame to the
p.ist, I thought I would get up a little
b ixiif' match jast to break the mo
ll itoiiy. I had a pair of boxing glov
and after cxplainiug their use to the
chief, asked him to put them ou with
inc. Heat once agreed and we two
went into a vacant nairn in the rear of
the store just to spar a few rounds for
ii lints. It seems that the Indian had
a
not fully underst.KMl my explanation
in reganl to the use of the gloves.
After adjusting the gloves I told him
how to stand and guard him-n-lf. Tir.-u
I told him to hit me if he cotil.L In
dians ""tl know, never strike with
their liaiuls in conflict, and the at
tempts he made to hit me were awk
ward in the extreme. All at once I
struck out with my rigid, and, catching
Mr. Chief under the ear, lauded him
in a heali on the fl.air. That was
enough for him. Springing to his feet,
he tore the gloves fnm his hands and,
jerking his knife fnm his belt, he made
for me to wipe out what he coiisi.lensl
an irreiwrable insult. Taking in the
situation in a moment, I whipped out
my revolver and, leveling it at his
head, I told him if he moved another
step I would blow his brains out He
liaulted, and I proecded to explain to
to him how it all came alaujt, and that
no otfeii.se was meant He was loath
to W lieve it, however, and it t.a.k him
some time to cool down. At last, on
my making him a present of a WHtle of
whisky, he promised to renounce all
hostile intentions, and on leaving the
nvoin called hiscom'ntnionsaiid start.sl
at once for In ime. In bis visits to the
post afterward he always eyed me w ith
suspicion and would never act in the
friendly way he had Wvn accustomtsl
to W-fore." St. Loui UUJtr-lh hun-rtit.
It L not to- late to am.'iid the mis
taken policy of w ithholding manure
from the ganleii to enrich the farm.
On the former the most LaWr is put
and the most manure needed. Try
chemical in the garden, they act
quickly and do not add weed to tlie
lot
"I know my faults Harry, and I'm
trying overcome them."
Harrv Well, all I've g.t to say Ls
you have a good deal of courage to face
.uc'i a niultitule alone.
WHOLE NO. 2248.
She Recoiled, But Didn't Kick.
Two tall, graceful girls stmlled slow
ly along the U-a. Ii earnestly conver
sing. They were coii.spicu.His in the
throng, and many an admiring glan.v
was turned towani them as they saunt
ensl to and fni. A t-Urudless sky was
reflected in calm waters lelw, while
seaiivly a breath of air w as stirring.
The girl in thejure w hite blazer was
doing m4 of the talking.
"It is all very well," s'.ie was saying
"to insist that you would die for the
man you love, but the sacrifice is quite
another thing."
The girl with the blue yachting cap
shruirgeil her shoulders.
"You sieak," she oWrvod "like ore
who has made the sacrifu-e."
"I have the rijht so to sia-ak."
Affecting recollect ions urel tumul
tu.iusly over the soul of the girl in the
white blazer. Her lips trembled and
the superb eyes U-nt upon the sand of
the Wuch glistened with the dew of
gathering tears.
The girl in the blue yachting cap
smiled haughtily.
"Indeed," she sarcastically retorted,
"how very interesting ! And how docs
it feci to actually die for the man you
love?"
Kcproachfully the gir! in the white
blazer directed ht-r gaze upon the girl
w ith the blue yachting cap.
"You shall not make light of it."
"Forgive me."
For a time they walked in silt-nee.
ISoth were deeply affected, the one fill
ed with remembrances of the past ; the
other, her resentment gone, w ith wo
manly sympathy.
"Tell me about it, Ethel."
The girl in the blue yachting cap was
tenderly persuasive.
"It was worse than dying for him,
Clara."
With a ouick movement the tears
were da-lied from the stiKTl eyes and
the girl w ith the white blazer faced her
companion.
"It was at Easter, Clara. You re
mcmbcr the dear, bright fellow I was
engaged to then. One evening but a
short while WTore, he said he did not
W-licve I Wire him the deep love I
ahould. I challenged him to name a
sacrifice I would not make for his sake.
With an insight into feminine charact
er which was Mephistopheliaii in its
subtlety, 1.0 dared me to do that
which eau-ies e verv woman's heart to
recvil witli hormr. Hut I did it."
They had paused ill their walk, and
were l.aikingat each other fixedly.
Ethel !"
'Yes Clara, I did it. I went to
church that Easter morning, sat in the
very fmnt seat, and I never l.aiktsl
an hi ml during the service !"
The girl in the blue yachting cap
drew a deep, tremulous breath.
"Ethel r
"Yes, Clara."
"You are a sublime hemine. Can you
forget my hasty wonls?"
"I can, Clara"
And the little wavelets lapHsi the
snowy I reach with drowsy sound, while
all the throng trazed in admiration at
the graceful girls. Ihiriut JTrihum .
A Vain Penman.
It i said that Tiiompkins, the cele
brated writing master of St. Paul s
school in Ignition, was the vainest of
ill iK'itmen. Through life he dreamed
that penmanship wari one of the fine
arts, am! that a writing master should
W- seated with his x.vrs ill the academy.
II.- Wspi.-athed t the Hritish museum
has opus magnum, a c ipy of Mackliif s
Hible, profusely cioW-Uislicd with the
m -t W-autiftil and varied work of his
a-n, and as h- e nuvivcd tliat bith the
work i n in and the work would W- darl
ing objects with Ksterity he left some
thing immortal with the legacy his
fine bust by Chant rev, unaeeoiiiianisl
by which the museum was not to re
ceive the unparalleled gift.
When Thoiiipk'ms applied to have his
Inist made, the gnat sculptor generous
ly abate! something from his usual
price, and considerate of the feelings
of the writing master treated him as a
brother artist. This was undoubtedly
the proudest day ia Tiiompkins' life.
An euc'ieut artist and wit, looking
at this fine bust of Tompkins, once
exclaim si, "And this ma: died for
want of a dinner !" Which remark wa
in a measure true.
Tiie p.-iini in had long felt that he
stiaxl degraded ill the scale of genius
by not W-ing revived at the academy, at
hast in the class of engravers. The
next approach to academic honors he
conceived would W that of appearing
as a guest at tic annual dinner. Hut
unfortunately the academy a-rsistcd in
considering Tiiompkins a a writing
master, and in spile of so many strata
gems and remonstrances he never
received oil.' of the c tveted invitation.
The vain man never ceased to de
plore the failure of hi hopes and al
lowed the disappointment to prey upon
hi spirit until it affected hi health.
In spite of every tiling, the luckless
colligraphi-r died without having
dined at the academy. Youth' Ouw
A Granl Feature
Of H'Mal' SarsaiKirilla L that while it
purifies Ihe IiIikkI and send it coursing
through the vein full of richness and
health, it also imparts new life and
vigor to every function of the Waly.
II 'inv the expression so often heard:
"H mkI's Sjrsupurilla math; a new
person of me." It overt-m; that tir
ed feeling so common now.
Hood's P'ula are purely vegetable, per
fectly harmless always reliable and
W-iieficial.
Fraitifjr CiUlrex
In giving fruits a:rl jams to young
children the skins stones pip and
little seeds must Ik? avoideiL Thus
raspberry jam is unfit for children, Wit
raspberry jelly may W- given. A to
the quantity, if a young child eats
slowly and bite each in luthful thor
oughly, limitation need imt lie matte,
but children should ou no ac
count W- allowvd to Wilt their faaL No
condiment should bo given, Imt suit
and all highly-sea ned dishes should
lv avoided. Sure. and cakes should
W- given spirialy
I wnintr.
S-m Fraiwicv Ex-
A New Forage Plant
Within the past five years tVre ! as
Ws.-n quite a revolution in nicthotls of
farming, due to the innovation of :
let for crimson ) clover in some s.
tions, and it advantage cannot easily
Ik; estimated. His! clover, as Is w. ll
known, is biennial. The seed is sown
in tile spring, on wii.-at or sum oth. r
shading cr p, the land b.-'tii-i occupied
by it until t!i" following s'l-utiier, when
it was mowed tor hay, the sccoi-.d
irrowth W-ing for the pnshicti.ui of
stsl. Cri'ii-'ii clover isan annual, ti e
s.ssl W-ing sown in Aug. or even as lale
as Sept. and the cmp moved ill May or
June. The advantage of this Ls that
w hile the red clover must lie scciled
dow n early in the sprinir, and tin cer
tain plots of gnHind, the crimson vari
ety may W seeded on nearly al! kind
of soils and on wheat, com, rye, r
oats land after the grain cmp has Wvn
remove. L It aLso give a surer "catch,"
and may be res.-e.led should the plants
be thin, and as it starts off early in the
spring it may la; mowed an.l gotten out
of the way early for another cmp of
s ine kind.
Crimson clover, though W-longing to
the legumes Ls W-tt.-r adapted to light
soils than is the red. While it gives
the le-t results on rich land, and es
pecially on well prepared soil, yet this
season lias demon strafed that it will
grew almost anywhere unless in pure
white sand, but on light, sandy soil
that has Wvn limed, or given an appli
cation of wo.nl ashes it has pnalu.vd
emps where a growth of red clover
would Ire impossible. It pmduee from
one to three tons of hay jar acre, ae
coniing to the soil, and oil rich laud
even more. Fmm 10 to l. quarts of
seed per acre may W' sown and it is ad
visable to Use plenty of seed. It has
excellent qualities as hay, and is more
easily cured without damage from dew s
or dampness than the retL It Ls not
superior to the red, but may lie grown
where the red variety will fail, and as
it is an excellent green inanurial cmp,
its value in that restart is great It may
lie seeded dow n w hen other work is
nearly over and is out of the way in
spring to permit of the unsst iiniortaiit
crops to W- atten.l.sl to.
In iK-laware, MarylamL, Eastern
Virginia and portions of Pennsylvania
and New Jersey farmers are preparing
for large crops thU fall. It may W
seeded down on wheat stubble land or
ou corn after the last working of the
crop. While thriving W-st if sow n ou
prepared land, yet crops were grown
this year on land that was in corn la-t
year, the crimson turned under, and
the laud put in com or potatoes this
year. It is a "nitrogen gatherer," and
serves to enrich the soil. The land
that have Wvn devoted to peach or
chards w hich have Wvn injunsl are W
ing sown in crimson clover, and cattle,
sheep and hogs are retiving attention
in sections that formerly were not prof
itable stock farms. The gntttest advan
tage of crimson clover is that it will
produce a cmp of green manure in tim
to lie turned under for corn or the h ty
may W- secured and the stubble plowed
under. It is ready to W- mowed by the
middle of May, thus W ing out of the
way for turn W-fore June. S'.i.-h a for
age plant, W-ing a legume and which
can occupy the land after corn Ls taken
off, and which comes so quickly in the
spring, is sure to revolutionize th
in -tinsLs now in vog.K on farms that
ha ve only light, sandy soils.
He Was Somewhat Changed.
"Are you the man who painted that
'ere picture of 'Moses in the Hullrush
es?" " asked a country man of an artist,
who had retvntly startled the tow n by
an exhibition of oil paintings.
"Yes," replied the artist.
"Al! right ; then I want you to paint
my father."
"Certainly, if he give me a few
sittings."
"Can't do it ; he's dea.L"
"U't me have a photograph of him."
"Can't do that, neither. He never
had hi picture taken."
"I am afraid, then, I must decline."
"iKvline! What for? Haven't you
painted Mines? You didn't have a
photograph of him, did you? No, I
thought not Well my father hain't
Wvn dead nearly so long as Mus-. If
you can jKiiut Moses you ought to
know enough to paint my father."
Appreciating the situation the artist
went to work and evolved such a
p irtruit as he thought might satisfy so
original a sou.
"Crik " !" rxelainu'd the art patron,
on Ssving the completed painting.
"That almost knocks the stufllu' out of
Moses ; but, I say how he has changed V'
London T'xt-lSit.
Sunlight on Faint.
"An inexperienced a-rsiMi might
think the paint on the trtitside of a
building would siam W- worn by ex
nisureaiiiuch in one platv a another,"
say a Maine brush handler, "Wit that
L not true. ExKure to the weather
injure paint but very little. It i the
sunlight that .Iih-s the business, though,
of eotir-v, the winds mid rains assist it.
Wherever the sun's ray strike a tint
ed surface in the middle of tlie day.
the life of the paint is very s.am de
stroyed, and it crumble away. We
hoii-e painter always find tlie south
side of a building ill the worst con
dition, and the north side the least
worn. The west side, receiving as it
di the force of the dry winds Is al
ways more worn than the east side.
Another p dut ni-iy bj worth y.ur
readers' knowing. Frequently inex
perienced p Ton are sold old lend by
the d.-aler or that i'l which tlie oil
ha 'fatted.' Wiis-ii they try to use it.
it will run r trickle down the wall.
They don't know what ail it, ami
generally don't know what to do with
it Th. y sh .uld avoid getting su. h
st.a-k. Wit if thev do get it if they will
add a little kerosene instead of linseed
oil, they w ill find it w ork very well."
irUon Journal.
He Drew the Line.
"I'm sick," whined the tramp at the
kite'oeti .Kr, "and will y.si pl.-a-s- give
lile just a piece of I tread ain butter."
"Nothing m. -an aWiutyiai, L tliere?"
resp in.ksl the cJiarity-lined oaik.
"No, nia'aiu,'tui.in't."
"Perhaps you would like to have
some sugar on your bread ?" said the
cook with sarcasm.
The tramp drew liack digiiifWly.
"Exeu-K? m.'," he sai.l, "I may have
my weaknesses 1 hardly think
there i anything in my manner to
w arrant you in thinking I am a United
Stat. -i Senator," and the intelligent
etsik apologized on the spot. Ih troit
t'rtr l'r"w.
A Doctor's Bill
She. "Here's a bill from the doctor."
He. "What's it for?"
She. "I can't imagine."
Ethel. "I kuow, mamma. Doctor
spoke cross to me yestenlay ou the
street, and I stuck out my tongue
him." Yonkert Slittmif uu
o